FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE: Here is a link to our Dropbox that contains Dave Ramsey reading our debt free e-mail on air to 5 million listeners. It would have been great to speak to him, but we're just as excited about it.

$0. That's the amount left on my student loans. After 25 months, we are so happy to announce that we are debt free apart from the mortgage. As I sit back and reflect on that thought, it just gets sweeter and sweeter. Sallie Mae no longer shacks up in our spare bedroom. The Old Woman has been kicked to the curb and is out of our lives! How sweet is that!

On one hand, it has been a hard 25 months. We've had to say "no" to a lot of things, furniture, painting the house, new cars, little toys here and there, eating out, bare minimum on groceries. On the other hand, it hasn't been as hard as we thought. We've still been able to take frugal trips to see friends within driving distance. We've celebrated debt pay-off milestones with occasional splurges (iPad, sectional couch). By sticking to a mutually agreed upon budget, we've actually lived pretty good. Sufficient for our needs you might say. Jayne and I were discussing this the other night. Managing your money well bleeds out into other aspects of your life. Not eating out very often has benefitted our waistlines as has sticking to a tight grocery budget. Giving every dollar a name has helped us realize that there are many things that really aren't that important to lead a fulfilling life. It has helped our marriage as we don't really fight about money anymore since we are so open with each other about each and every expense. Making a budget has been a key in that regard. I cannot stress enough how great having an agreed upon budget can be. Once you designate where every dollar goes, it honestly feels like you got a raise. It also helps the kids understand the importance of a dollar.

I loved Elder Hales' conference address from April 2009 entitled "Becoming Provident Providers Temporally and Spiritually". Here is one quote from it that sums up our feelings nicely during these last two years.

"When faced with the choice to buy, consume, or engage in worldly things and activities, we all need to learn to say to one another, “We can’t afford it, even though we want it!” or “We can afford it, but we don’t need it—and we really don’t even want it!”

All in all, we paid off about $87,000 including principle and interest. We could very easily lose control now that we essentially got a $3000/month raise. We have a plan though and will continue our frugal living and meeting new financial goals: beefing up our emergency fund, increasing retirement savings and kid's college. (On a side note, I am eternally grateful to my parents and grandparents for being wise enough to set money aside since we were young for college, we would have at least double the debt we did had it not been for their foresight, wisdom and sacrifice in that regard.)

But first we will celebrate, just a little bit. We've been wanting to take the kids to Disneyland for a long time now and in October, we will finally do that! It feels like we won the Super Bowl of finance so what better place to go than The Happiest Place on Earth right? We haven't really told them yet. I'd like to keep it a secret for as long as I can. They've been very involved in the debt pay-off. They rejoiced with us last Friday and have been telling all their friends, "We're debt free!" I'm hoping to get through to The Dave Ramsey Show to do our debt free scream sometime soon.

Now some of you may be reading this and think, "Well, I have 2-3x's" that much in student loans, there is no way I can be that aggressive." Maybe not, everyone's situation is different. But even though it may take longer, I think you can get them done quicker than you think. Heavenly Father truly opened up doors for us to make great strides in paying down our debt. It started with a full tithe. But don't fall into the trap that you need 15 or 25 years to pay them off. That's what the bank wants you to think. Think about all that money you could save in interest that you can use to invest or use to pay down your house. Drive that car longer. Who says you need to live like a doctor/lawyer/dentist or whatever just because you "deserve it"?

I highly recommend you read two books on finance. These two books changed my life. Dave Ramsey's My Total Money Makeover and The Millionaire Next Door by Dr. Thomas Stanley. Heck, I'll even give you a copy of the Dave Ramsey book if you want it. I have 3 extra lying around for that very purpose. At the very least go back and read conference addresses on debt like the one I mentioned. Make a plan for your money. I cannot begin to describe how liberating this whole process has been.

Fighting a Losing Battle

Video Games. You could say I am not a big fan. I think they are fun for a little bit, but they take time away from other things and it is hard to find a stopping place. I knew my kids would like them, but I really try to get them excited about other things too. I have come to realize that I cannot expect them to not play any video games and live on a ranch with me in a small town playing outdoors and doing arts and crafts. This is the generation of techies and gamers. They will make friends and build relationships through and because of games. It is part of their culture now.

So I let them play. Sometimes for hours even because they want to and I want to do other things. Most of the time they have to earn their time with chores or reading. (the reading is new and it is 2 for 1. 1 minute reading earns two minutes play time. Jeff spent most of the day reading one book and then playing for a few minutes and then reading another book to play more. I finally said no more and they played outside with friends, in the backyard with water, and finally got so bored they raced baby doll strollers through the house (they laughed and screamed the whole time they did this). I think summer boredom is great.

A couple days ago I was putting Grant down for a nap. When I came out they had rigged up their own ball ramp tube and were rolling golf balls down and loving it. This is one of my all time favorite things, inventing cool contraptions. So a little bit of me is rubbing off on them after all. I am very glad for that.

"How are Jayne's Eyes?

People have been asking AJ this question, I just found out. I didn't know people were asking that. Personally I think it is the weirdest question ever. How do you answer that? Fine? Bad? Okay? Can you answer that in one word? What do people really want to know?

So I will tell you how my eyes are doing, not so you feel sorry for me because I hate that. Maybe just for me to write it down so I stop being in denial that I have a problem or that I do need to do something about it.

I have Retinitus Pigmentosa. It is a degenerative hereditary eye disease. I have it, half my siblings have it, my Dad and half his siblings, and many cousins and extended family. And half of my kids will have it though it is not detectable until the teen years usually. First thing to go is night vision. I stopped driving at night in college. I have always had trouble in movie theaters and camping and in the dark.

The past two or three years I have lost more vision. I wonder if pregnancy stress and depetion of my body's resources have contributed to my vision loss. This last fall I really felt like I needed new glasses and that something was wrong. I went to an optometrist and she wrote me a new glasses prescription but said the glasses wouldn't help much. So I went to a specialist who said I should rethink driving and didn't give me too much hope. My visual field test was terrible revealing a lot of blind spots. I also have constant twinkling or light flashes. I don't know what causes this and I didn't understand the doctor's answer.

So if I were to decribe what it is like to look through my eyes I would say hold a piece of saran wrap over your eyes (not your mouth of course) then hold up a donut infront of that so you can see only on the sides and down the middle, and then add some light flashes like when you stand up too fast and get light headed. Yeah, it's probably a good thing I stopped driving before I ran somebody over or killed us all.

I have also stopped wearing my glasses lately because I am not driving and they were giving me headaches. Also the kids have a tendancy to bump me (a lot) and my glasses would get bent and skewed and then my vision was distorted.

Some frustrations have been not driving. Not being able to get out and do things I wanted. I was already resticting my driving so this isn't such a big deal, but it is hard. Another thing is recognizing faces. Since I am seriously near sighted. I don't recognize people from far away. I feel like I am going to a new ward every week because everyone looks so different. The way I recognized someone the week before (a hair style, a red dress) has changed and now they all look new. It takes me three or four times after meeting someone to remember their face and put a name to it. This is why I stare at my kids a lot to burn their cute images in my brain so that I can remember what they look like when I lose more vision.

I feel like I have to tell people about my vision because I need rides but feel bad not returning the favor. When I tell people they say, "That is so hard." and give me the poor you face. I hate this because I am trying to not let it be hard. It is just a change. I have known I would lose my vision since I was 16. I just didn't think it would restrict me so young. Even AJ knew when we were dating that I had some limited vision and that it was deteriorating.

I asked AJ a few weeks ago what it will be like for the kids to have a mom who cannot drive. Who cannot take them to practices, parties, appointments, etc. He was super sweet and gave me an answer that helped me feel good. He said, "They will have a mom who is not so concerned about getting to the next thing."

Some adjustments we have made

I have my own profile on the computer that has super big font. I have stopped driving. AJ has started graveyards so that he is more accessable to do things for and with us. I try to call people in my ward or neighbors to help with grocery shopping and taking the kids places. (I haven't done to much of this yet, but see a time when I will need to do this more.) I shop on Amazon more to buy gifts or other things to appease my love of shopping at Target. We don't go to the movies very much. Since I don't see detail very well I have AJ help me sometimes with plucking my eyebrows and double checking my makeup. Sometimes I get a little carried away with the blush and that is never a good look (unless it is my night on the street corner).

So I have been in denial for a few months but now it is time to do something. I want to try contacts to see if that helps with the blurry nearsightedness and astigmatism. Then I may need to go to low vision rehabilitation wear they can teach me somethings before I lose more vision and would have a harder time learning new things.

Some possitive things about this whole things is that I have a very supportive and loving husband who helps me a ton. Not just with the phyisical loss of my vision but the emotional loss. So many neighbors and ward memebrs have offered to help and I feel like I am giving people an oppurtunity to do service and have the joy that comes from helping others. I am very grateful that we live close to Jeff's school so that I can walk him everyday and be close enough to help and volunteer. I have discovered audio books and love to listen. I can do two things at once and not just sitting and reading. Like I love to listen and put away laundry. You know how much laindry I did while listening to "The Hunger Games"?

So for all those asking how my eyes are doing, there you go. I appreciate your love and concern. I do need help sometimes and I am trying to be as gracious as I can. This has definatly been an adjustment time for us in our marriage and family. But I hope it will make us stronger and closer. And leaning on other people can hopefully mean we have more friends than we would otherwise have.

Elegantly Coiffed

I recently observed that I treat Darcy differently when her hair is neatly done. It is not that I mean to, I just do. When her hair is done I am more patient and affectionate with her. I am slower to anger because I look at her and think, "She is so sweet, my goodness, I can't get mad at that cutie face." But when her hair is not done and it is a mop around her face with a big rats nest in the back, I am not so patient and I get mad at her more.

So after realizing this and over analyzing it, I have come up with some possible reasons that I would treat her differently. (This also applies to the boys, but their messy to neat looks are less drastic, so not as noticeable.

Unkempt hair represents
-her defiance to not let me comb it
-my lack of concern for outward appearances
-to other people that I am not taking good care of her
-a crazy mop that needs a trim

Tidy hair with bows or clips represents
- her cooperation
- pleasing me
-it shows other people that I am taking care of her
-she looks soooo pretty

When she was two she would fight me all the time to not comb her hair. I finally got smart and gave her a choice. "Would you like your hair in a ponytail or just combed?" Most of the time she would choose to juxt have it combed. At least it wasn't so crazy that way. After discovering Fancy Nancy a while ago I was able to convince her to do it fancy. She would let me do it and then take it out within a few minutes. Sometimes she would leave it in long enough to go to church. She would look like a honey walking in to sacrament meeting and like a rag-a-muffin walking out.

So we keep buying cute clips and hair things and keep trying. She has gotten better. She will leave it in half a day or more. I feel bad that I treat her differently so I try to relax about appearances. I want her to always feel beautiful crazy hair and all.

I told this idea to AJ and he sgreed. Then I had a new thought. Does AJ treat me differently when my hair is done? Even if he doesn't think he does or mean to? When I have no makeup and my hair is in a bun, does he want to be sweet and affectionate with me? When I have on makeup and my hair is shiny and curled will he want to be sweet to me then? Epiphany!! Why does it always surprise me when appearance makes a difference in the way we are treated. Because that is not my focus or as important to me a cleaning the house, caring for kids needs, and sleep. Balance is the answer.

Grant is Walking

Grant had his 1st Birthday last week and he started walking. Just a few steps at first. At church on Sunday he walked across the foyer. It could be a joke. Why did Grant cross the foyer? To get to the nany with snacks on the other side.

He has beat Darcy by 1 1/2 months and Jeff by 3 months. He is so advanced ;o).

Keep in Touch

Mail. What a wonderful invention that was. All the sudden you could comunicate with friends far away and feel connected to them when you could not have done so before mail. It was wonderful. Long letters from someone you loved full of news and sentiment. You would wait impatuently after sending a letter to recieve one back with answers to the questions you asked.

And then after a while the advertizers got the idea to use this wonderful tool to make money. Now it is nothing but junk ads and bills.

Then the telephone. A wonderful new way to connect immediately and frequently. We could call and talk whenever we wanted. Then the telemarketerscome and we start avoiding calls and dreading the ringing.

Then email comes along. Once again communicating with friends and loved ones is wonderful and unspoiled. Then it too becomes overtaken by ads. (You can see where this is going).

Then comes blogs and facebook and texting

It bugs me that these wonderful communication tools become commercialized and monetized until the internet, telephones, mail and the rest are so tainted with bombarding ads that I stop using them for their orginal purpose to keep in touch and keep relationships tight. So I am resonvled to do more positive things with the technology and ignore and unsubscibe to stupid stuff.