Frustrated.

I want to see you so badly but I can't.

Well firstly it's because you're not texting me and secondly my face is in such a bad condition I don't want you to see it.

Seriously, you're just a 15 minutes walk away, but yet you seem to far away. -_-

I wonder.....

if you miss me as much as I miss you.

if you are waiting for my texts like how I'm waiting for yours.

if you wish I was there with you like how I wish you were here with me.

if you're constantly thinking about me like how I'm constantly thinking about you.

if I'm actually alone in this.

I wonder......

If you're confused like me too,

or are you just playing with my feelings?

Dear blog,

I'm sorry for abandoning you. :(

Will try to update as soon as possible.

Love,
Vinna.

싫다

네가 왜 내가 만져서 다른 여자도 만져???
진짜....난 그런 여자 아니야...
너는 아마 누구든지에게 그렇게 하면 괜찮은데 난 그런 사람 아니야....
내가 좋아하는 남자한테 만 스킨싶 하거든...
그리고 너 선생님에게 관심이 있지? ㅜㅜ
아까 선생님 집에 간다고 할 때 너는 급하게 일어나서 선생님은 데리고 간대...
그런데 나는 집에 갈 때 그냥 문자로 조심히 가라구...뭐야 너...나는 네 장난감이야??
나한테 왜 계속 이렇게 노는거야?
진짜 싫어...내가 왜 너는 좋아하게 됐어?
마음 아파....답답해....
어떻게 하면 좋을까?
나 진짜 몰라...난 아마 너의 좋아하는 스타일 아니구나..
예쁘지 않아서 미안..
귀엽지 않아서 미안...
말을 잘 할 수 없어서 미안...
너는 좋아하게 됐어 미안..........
ㅠㅠ

..

내가 아닌
다른사람 만나서 웃어도 괜찮아.
영화를 같이봐도 괜찮고.
술을 마셔도 밥을먹어도 괜찮아.
손을 잡아도 괜찮고
그 사람을 품에 안아도 괜찮아.
매일 그 사람과 문자를 보내도 괜찮고,
몇시간씩 전화통화를 해도 괜찮아.
그런데
사랑까진 하지마.
그것까지는 안 괜찮아.

밀당

내가 왜 매번에 먼저 너한테 문자했나?
내가 왜 너는 문자 늦게 대답할 때 답답해 느꼈나?
내가 왜 너는 다른 여자와 같이 있을 때 마다 짜증나고 싫어한 기분이 있나?
이거 다 혹시 나만 느끼고 있냐?
네 마음을 알고 싶고서 예전에 내가 절대 안 하는 말와 행동을 많이 했다. 그런데 그거는 너 아마 모르지? 나한테 관심이 없는 너, 이거 다 너랑 상관 없지?
그래, 난 바보야.너는 나랑 문자하는 것이나 같이 공부하는 것은 아마 그냥 심심해서 하는 것 같아.
언니가 남자랑 밀당을 하면 그 남자의 생각하고 마음을 조절 할수 있대.
내 성격이 아마 좀 급한 편이기 땜에 밀당을 오랫동안 하는 것은 진짜 답답하고 의욕을 꺾었다.
내가 포기할까 말까? 너는 가끔 하는 말이 나한테 뭔가 관심이 있는 것 같은데 가끔은 진짜 그냥 무시하는 적도 많이 있었다.
아...이거 뭐야....내가 왜 이렇게 되였지?
비나 너 바보.........ㅠㅠ

Next on my to-buy list.......

My must haves for this year. Yes, I noticed it's all black. Well, you can never have enough black shoes, especially if it's studded or has a hot angled heel. It's a timeless colour. *there I go again, trying to make excuses to buy new shoes.*

Images courtesy of solestruck.

So there's this conversation.

Friend: Hey! You know what? I'm super happy today because something good happened to me!

Me: oh, what is it?

Friend: I don't want to tell.

Me: ......then why did you tell me that in the first place when you didn't want to say anything about it?

Friend: I want tell you about it...but I don't.

Me: ............(Screams in head: WTF?!!!!!)

Seriously?

By the way, there's this really mushy quote which sounds something like: the best thing you can do is to find someone who loves you the way you are.

But where can I find a person who loves a fat, dark and acne faced girl like me? Yeap, don't think I'll ever find someone who'll like this face. Even if my personality appeals to them My appearance is a turn off. Sorry for the sudden negativity. But that's how I feel nowadays and I just had to let it out.

Before anyone thinks anything, yes appearance is very important to me, and I do judge guys by their appearances. It's the first thing you see when you meet someone and people prefer beautiful things no? So guys who tells me crap like "I do not care about how she looks like as long as she has a good personality", cut the bullshit and go be a monk.

Hi!

awww mannnnnnnn, my skin looks so bad here. :(

Been quite some time since the last time I updated this space. Will update again after I move! :D

Haircut!

I have fringe now! Oh yeah babyyyyyyyy.

Exams.

I really want to know if there's even one person in this world who actually love and enjoy exams.

A hoard of birds.

I bought 3 more today lol. Couldn't resist it. TOO CUTE. 

But fuck my life man.......I am left with 250,000won to survive with for a month. Like seriously...........It's not really a big of a deal but this is the first time I felt so frustrated since I came to Korea. I mean, I feel really frustrated whenever I am not able to express myself well in Korean, but this feeling of frustration is worse. First time I felt like crying. I swear. I don't know why. Fuck this shit. Didn't know I was this shallow to cry over such a stupid matter. It's like, I already feel really useless, because I have to rely on my family to financially support me, so what the fuck am I doing? What the fuck have I been doing for these 19 years of my life? I really have no idea. I've always thought I'm rational and mature enough to be on my own, but now, I'm really not sure about that. I am still a spoilt child who turns to her family whenever she needs money for a new bag. A person who still cannot resist temptation. I really want to be the perfect child who only concentrates on her studies and be really independent, but seriously, argh. Never mind. Lost my track of thought. But yeah, at the end of the day, I am still human. And a girl. So. Yeah.

I never said this ever but at this moment, I hate my life. Just let me be immature and stupid for this one time. 

Angry

BIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bought this after having coffee with Yukiko, Mako and Kikuko. Each of us bought one angry bird. Super cute right? And it's only 5000won! I wanna go back and buy the other birds! (Okay I don't know why but that sounded really really wrong.)

Super tired now so GOODNIGHT!

When there's no homework for the day.

Food I made yesterday for lunch/dinner.

Lashes / Pouch / H&M Belt / Skirt / T-shirt from a street stall, only 5,000 won so MUST BUY. 

Make up from Nature Republic.

H&M Rings / Rings from a street stall.

Military inspired cape / Peach coloured blazer.

Today happened to be a very good day because we have no homework today and that means, I DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME EARLY TO RUSH MY HOMEWORK. :D

So my classmates and I all decided to have lunch together at a restaurant at school, hang out a little, and do our preparations for our conversation exam next week with our partners. 

Halfway through our discussion, Yukiko mentioned that she has an appointment to do her hair with Kiko at Myeongdong at 5.30pm. And coincidentally, I wanted to go get some stuff at Myeongdong too so we decided to go together. Well, I originally planned to accompany them to the hair salon, buy my stuff and go home, but I ended up looking around for the next 2 hours and meeting up with Yukiko and Kiko again for dinner. 

And because of that, I ended up buying quite a lot.......................................which is not good but I jot down everything I buy now so I know how much I can use and how much I should use. But anyways, I had a good time shopping, felt so good. The only thing I regret buying is the belt from H&M because I underestimated myself and got an M which is too big for my waist.......fucks. Actually I can go and exchange it but I cut off the freaking price tag so now I can't do that anymore. Oh wells......moral of the story: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF. (If you overestimated yourself it's okay! Just lose weight to make it fit! Okay just kidding. )

Reading test

Just did my reading test. Now waiting for my other classmates to finish theirs. I realized that whenever I read a passage in front of other people, I tend to go really fast like a bullet train. I can go for 2 long sentences in one breathe. Lol. But the thing is korean pronunciation is very emphasized, one thing unpronounced will change the meaning of the word. So when my bullet train engine starts, I tend to slur my words a lot thus not pronouncing the words precisely like I want to. T.T But anyways I think I did okay just now....

I want to post pictures from my phone! But I don't know how. Hmm...I think I need to download an app or something.

Be right back yo.

Wants.

Been eye-ing these babies for the past few weeks.

By the way, my stomach's been acting real weird today. And I seriously do not know what's wrong with it.

Images courtesy of Solestruck.

Homework

Same ol' boring thing everyday. But I am going to be optimistic and love every boring thing I do. In order to achieve something in life, there are sacrifices and of course a lot hard work. Money do not fall from the sky or grow on trees. Same goes for achievements that you will never get if there are not enough passion, determination and the "I don't care what others think of me" attitude. If Thomas Edison worried about people calling him crazy then we will live in the dark forever. No invention of lightbulb = no electricity = no computer = no internet = no facebook = and the list goes on. Imagine how the world would be like without all these?? I think we'd all be ploughing the fields with our cows from daylight until the sun goes down and have sex with each other for entertainment (since there are nothing else to do lol) and overpopulate the world with babies. Then the whole world will become an Africa. Okay I doubt that will even happen because with all the sex going on, everyone will die from STDs.

What the shit how did I go from talking about my homework to people dying from excessive sex?

Can't stand myself for being to easily distracted sometimes. -___________________-

My kitchen.

Lazing around the room on a Sunday. Might as well blog when I have nothing to do right? 

Currently waiting for my mask to dry so I took a few pictures of my "Kitchen". Just for the sake of wasting some time lol.

Chicken soup for dinner later! :)

Some biscuits I bought yesterday at the supermarket. They're so bland it's kinda nasty.

My flower teas, supplements and a bag of rice.

Bread.

Trusty thermos used to make my teas and red date drinks.

The fridge: Cheese, Minute Maid Orange Juice, Pei Pa Kou, Yogurt, Strawberries, Mandarins and Garlic.

Salt and blueberry jam.

By the way my mom just skyped me telling me not to use the F word anymore.

Yes mom, I'll try my best. 

Lol.

Foreigner's ID.

YESSSSSS I finally got my ID card!!!!!!!!

And that's a picture before my eye surgery so.........yeah. Lol. But I have to go renew it after 6 months so I'll have a new picture by then! Teehee.

Okay bye.

Random

My pitiful looking collection of shoes I survive with at Korea so far. 

Been eyeing a lot of pairs I want to get but I can only wait because I don't have a bank account yet, which also means that I have a limited amount of money and it sucks. 

I seriously need something to distract me from the thought and urge of wanting to buy stuff whenever I'm bored or have nothing to do. I have too much time for myself it's making my life kind of a bore. 

Life in Korea: Anguk

I came up with this idea of citing down my life in Korea by blogging about places I find interesting and worth visiting. I guess it's also a way of showing how Korea is to the English speaking world. I know the Kpop wave thing going on is already giving Korea a lot of exposure to the world but seriously, there is so much more than "pretty Korean idols" here in this country. PLUS when you're walking on the streets it's super rare to see handsome/hot people. Yes, I said handsome people because I'm referring to the male species. I am saying this because it's easy to spot a pretty/hot Korean girl on the street anytime anywhere. I am serious and I am feeling very threatened by that fact. Shiz.

Anyways, the place I'm gonna introduce to you (I seriously feel like I'm talking to myself.) today is a place called 안국 (Anguk). I actually came here 2 days ago with a companion and was really captivated by how this place can look so westernized yet so traditional at the same time. So I went back today to capture some images of the place which I hope will also make people want to go there because I swear it is such a nice place to be and there's so much to see.

Anguk Station 1st exit.

At Korea, you will see a lot of these roadside stalls selling Korean delicacies. Most of them have 떡볶이(Korean rice cakes), Fried tempura (Vegetables and prawns), 오뎅. Well I'll leave that for another blog post. 

Then there's this shop selling 계란빵(Direct translation: Egg bread).

I FREAKING LOVE THESE STUFF. These are 1000won(Usd$1) each and inside each of those things are hard boiled eggs. I like how it tastes so eggy(?) and not sweet. Okay I don't know how to explain this but I just love it, end of story. This is why I can never be a food blogger. Lol. 

One of the roads leading into the tourist area. This place is packed during Saturday. Tourists come for the museums and locals come for the food+shopping+coffee.

Vintage shop.

One of the coffee shops there.

 한옥 (Han Ok, Traditional Korean house)

This is a church.

Before going further on I went for lunch because I came straight after school and was starving. This is how a traditional one person meal looks like. Side dishes + Soup + Main course. 

More 한옥s.

Yes this coffee & dessert shop is connected to the traditional Korean house next to it. There are a lot of these around the area. 

Another coffee house. 

These are art exhibitions/galleries, which explains the statue on the roof. This is also a must-visit for art lovers because there are a lot of private art galleries here.

LOOK! A WOMAN RUNNING ON THE ROOF.

Street stall selling a lot of hand crafted cute things. So colourful and happy looking! :D

Freaking love these rings. Super cute. Wanted to go back and get a few but I was lazy to walk back. Fail.

I wonder when will be able to get up to that view point for COUPLES. But seriously, does this mean that people without a couple is not allowed up there? DISCRIMINATION MAX. 

Accessory shop.

More boutiques.

Awesome shoe shop with tons of pretty shoes. 

Really like the layout of this place. So random and unpredictable.

Shop selling chicken stuff.....statues......stuff....lol.

Went for some coffee and cake at a small shop next to the...chicken shop.

Sweet potato cake which I love. Lol. It's not weird trust me.

Latte.

....and more shops.

Welcome to SamCheongDong! Pretty cool looking wall. 

Don't remember what this was but it looked cool so I snapped a picture of it. I'm guessing it's a coffee shop too.

Another coffee shop in a secluded area. 

I really like the concept of it. Gives you this nostalgic feeling.

An owl museum...which unfortunately is closed for the day. I'm really curious what is there to see though.

Pretty cherry blossoms everywhere.

I tweeted this before and I can't get enough of this door full of buttons.

Nice houses.

Spot the kitty. :)

Small museum in the housing area.

View from the top.

Looks like an expensive house.

One of the random shops in the housing area. 

Freaking love the accessories sold there! Didn't had enough cash with me so I couldn't get anything. :(

See what I mean when I said I love how this place is so westernized yet so traditional at the same time?

I also highly recommend fashion enthusiasts to visit this place at least once because there are so many shops where you can find pieces that are unique and one of a kind. Things here tend to be a little pricey compared to the shops located at the main shopping districts of Korea though.

This thing in front of the hat shop seriously creeps me out.

More coffee shops.......

The main thing that attracts locals to this place are the vast choice of coffee shops available there. All the coffee shops are unique in their own way and well it's a human trait to want to try new things right? :)

Famous noodle restaurant.

And that's the end of it! I hope I made it sound and look interesting enough. 

Till the next blog post!

xox.