There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecc 3:1-8

After a long break, it's finally time for me to start hitting the books again... Revisiting the CFA textbooks isn't exactly the sexiest thing to do, but hell, how else can I spend my time more meaningfully than studying and not wallowing in self-pity?

Today - the first day being 28, as well as one that starts a new chapter in my life...

Years ago, I told myself that I would [try my best] to get hitched and be married by 27. And if I didn't, I would spend all that I have saved [for my wedding] to pursue another qualification. After all, I figured that I was hopeless if I didn't get attached by 27....

27 has just bade farewell to me yesterday. And all these years, time [and life] prove one thing to me: I'm indeed hopeless in getting hitched.

I used to write "Birthday hah? Happy lor!" on birthday cards. But somehow, I wished that today was another day that occur once-in-four-year (just like 29 Feb) or maybe even once-in-a-decade. No doubt it marked yet another year living, I didn't really felt happy about it. I know I have to count my blessings, but I desire something more - I want to spend my birthdays with that someone special (not necessarily Elena, but I would be thrilled if it's her).

Yes, I know I'm asking for a reprimand for saying that, and yes, I do appreciate having friends remembering my birthday, sending me well-wishes, and celebrating it for me. But I am tired of being reminded that I do have not that someone special to spend this special day with. Somehow, I felt depressed today; the funny thing is: I don't feel myself depressed on any other day.

I think it's really about time to move on and prepare myself for a new change in goals. Love has abandoned me for the longest time I can recall; it's about time I abandon love...

Birthday hah? Happy lor....

Today - my last day being 27.....

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the approaching train
unknown source, attributed to all whom optimists call pessimists and pessimists call realists

Strange as it may be (to me at least), I only feel a little disturbed/distracted by the revelation from my friend for the past two days. I thought I would be deeply affected, but somehow I wasn't. I believe two things are happening to me: God is sustaining me, and I have consciously chosen not to be affected by the revelation.

I don't know, either I am too naive or too optimistic, but somehow I still feel that I stand a chance with Elena. Haha, perhaps it's just mere stupidity at work, but whatever the case is, I still like her very much. I guess I have to shift my prayer focus to "will I be with her" to "prepare her heart and point her to the one"...

All I want to hope (for now) is that she will lead a happy (and blessed) life...

Well, today is not a very good day...

I had to sit through a meeting which didn't really concern me. And while defending my preference for a particular distribution workflow, the vendor raised his voice and ended our "discussion" with "the system belongs to me and I know it better than you!" Oh well, this is yet another instance a software developer (or owner, or systems owner) who thinks that it is better to stick to the original way to use the system rather than amend it and make life easier for the end users. I secretly wished I could just smack him and tell him "machines/software are made to make our work easier, not the other way round!" @#$%^&*

In the evening, I bumped into a long time friend in a shopping mall, and we decided catch up in a cafe. I knew she was working in the church which Elena attended, but I didn't expect her and Elena were close friends. Well, my friend revealed some not-so-good-yet-not-really-that-bad news to me, and that set me back thinking "what should I do next". Harlow God, what are you trying to tell me, especially at the time when my birthday is just 'round the corner?

Sigh............................ what the hell is going on in my life?!

Oh, what the hell....

I am always infuriated whenever I see the shredder machine overflowing. Bloody hell! Is whoever-responsible-for-the-overflow educated? Does he/she know what being considerate mean? To hell with the "it's the job of the cleaners" argument! Does emptying the overflowing box lower one's stature? @#$%^&*

If you think I love standing on moral high-grounds, by all means, go ahead. To me, being considerate, making another's job easier (or at least not harder than it already is) is more important than maintaining an "air of importance", which, after all, is an air one creates himself to deceive, who else but himself...

@#$%^&*

As if a ghost had appeared, she took the longer path to go back to her desk. But the ghost detected her shunning away, and played along with her by pretending not to have noticed her. When the ghost bade farewell to Francisca, it could almost feel her sighing relief as it left her world....

But that won't be the last of the ghost... It wants to be, for the rest of her life, the first thing she will see every morning when she wakes up....