If someone thinks that ending a relationship three days after it has started is an achievement, then what does that mean to a person who has been holding a torch for a year [or more] and nothing [positive] happens?

Needless to say, I fall in the latter camp, therefore effectively rendering myself an unconvincing person to comment on people who have the former camp's school of thoughts. I'm not implying that I'm an *authoritative* voice for the torch-holders, but I think my thoughts for this camp should at least more convincing.

Holding torches is not an easy thing to do. After all, it apparently requires more than physical attractions for a person to like another for a long time without any reciprocation. Therefore, not trying to defend myself, I think [long-term] torch-holders aren't "losers". In fact, I would like to suggest that [most] torch-holders truly understand giving is more important than receiving.

Hence, I urge whoever is reading this to continue to give your support to your torch-holding friends. Their journeys ain't a bed of roses; they'll need all the encouragements they can get.

And if you would, give me your encouragements too..... :)

I attended a "Effective Business Writing" course conducted by Barry Johnson on Tuesday, and I learnt a lot of things from him in the four days.

He taught us the different styles of writing letters, minutes and reports. He also taught us the importance of keeping our language simple. He said, "No one, no one will be able to understanding what you are writing if your fog index is above 11!"

He stressed that using difficult/bombastic words would not make a person appearing smarter. "Great man use simple words." In those four days, he corrected our grammar and style of writing, and I enjoyed his teachings greatly.

I would love to attend his classes again.

Harlow,

It has been a long time since our last conversation. How have you been? I noticed that you have been knocking off late frequently for the past few weeks, and I hope your stacking work-pile has diminished sizeably.

Well, I just thought of dropping you an email to let you know something that I believe you dimly are aware of. I longed to tell you that I like you very much. I'm a person who is lousy with words, especially when I'm with the person I adore. I guess you would have noticed how tongue-tied I was whenever I tried striking a conversation with you. I am never good in the "game" of courtship and I believe you should have sensed that too. Alas, I apologize for all the inconveniences/troubles I have unconsciously/indirectly caused all these times.

Actually, just a few days ago, I was agonized whether I should continue to hold the torch for you (despite that I have not been doing anything about this for a long time). I've prayed, but there wasn't any answer from Him. Then I asked myself: what is it about you that I like? Other than your smile, as well as the largely-inferred personality of yours, I couldn't find any other reasons. I asked myself again: why I should continue to adore you then?

"Why not?" was the answer that came swiftly to me. The answer wasn't "make-do with" in nature; far from it! I came to realize that I just adore you, simple as that. It's no longer just a feeling of chemistry that playing tricks (after all, I've been your "secret admirer" for the past one year) - a one-side love can only hold out for so long. Hence, I deduced that I adore you simply because I adore you as you are.

I hope you are still reading this, and if I have scared you, I sincerely apologize. You can have my promise that I won't intrude into your personal life/privacy. I just want to express my feelings for you 'cos I don't want to regret for not doing so (actually, I still have a little regret: I wished I could confess to you in person.)

I believe you will find your happiness in the man God is preparing for you. All the best and may His blessings shower onto you forever and ever.

God bless....

[Editor's note: An email I wished I could send to her. Haha, I'm just too much of a failure to do so.... Serves me right....]

OMG, I haven't been blogging for 4 days! Oh well, as if anyone cares... Anyway, this is a really "shocking" video posted in youtube....

I had lunch with Shaun today, and he broke the news that he has brought a friendship with a lady friend to the next level. Despite him repeatedly stating that they are only "trying out", I believe things will work out between them¹. And hence, his would be the second "announcement" I have received in the past one month.

Yesterday, XY asked me, paraphrased, "now that HL is attached, when would you be bringing your girlfriend to church?" Today, both Shaun and Leeanne unanimously were surprised that I "have not given up hope on Elena". Well, I told them "it takes time for me to let go," and that "it would not be fair to the next gal, as she might just be a substitute for Elena." Truly, I have to thank them for their well-intended concern, but I guess I'm just too dumb to comprehend what "quickly move on to the next potential" means. Whatever it is, I appreciate their patience with an unintelligent living organism all these time... :)

And for now, allow me to feed my ego for a second: today, praises for our performance came pouring in². Almost everyone who attended the dinner and dance expressed that they were impressed with our item and that they adored my drumming skills. There was even one lady, whom I have no idea who she is, said she recognized me as the drummer by my ponytail! Yes, I must admit I feel flattered whenever I hear these praises.

However, I'm waiting for a commendation that will never come from the lips I wish to hear from...

¹ And the best part is: I don't even know who she is. But that won't stop me from believing (and wishing them) things will work out between them!
² Actually, these praises came in on the dinner and dance evening itself. :p

Today is the first time that I was so formally dressed - blue long sleeve shirt, with a plain navy tie, complete with a navy blazer and a pair of matching pants. At first, I felt extremely uneasy wearing that, but due to the dress code indicated, I had no other choice but to attend my sector's dinner and dance in that.

The song our ad-hoc assembled band was to perform was scheduled as the second last item for the evening¹, and as the time drew nearer, I felt slightly disappointed. The reason? I thought Elena² has already left, since I couldn't see her anywhere, and her handbag was not on her seat. Yes, I was more eager to perform the piece³ with her presence, more than the presences of all others.

God was really kind to me; a minute before I had to go onto the stage, I saw Elena conversing happily with her colleague. With a warm, fuzzy feeling, I went up the stage, only to realize that her back was facing the stage! With the spotlight and all, I couldn't see whether she turned her back to watch the performance. Despite that, I was still grateful to God that she was around; and even if she didn't see me playing, I was indebted to God that He allowed me to play for her...

But I guess, that's the last time I could ever do it; she'll be a happier person when I don't intrude her private space...

¹ The last item was actually a "patriotic" song for the sector, and IMO, it was a total disaster - wrong key, wrong beat, and my gosh, croaking voices!
² Have I ever mentioned that she was gorgeous in her evening dress this evening?
³ Yes, I'm fully aware that I wasn't the focus for the song (the vocalist and the saxist were), but I still wanted to perform for her and her alone.

God has been very gracious to me, despite I keep letting Him down time and time again...

He has given me:

• The gift of making music as a percussionist,
• The wisdom to break problems into manageable bite-sizes,
• The patience to lend a listening ear to those who need it,
• A means to make a living,
• Family and friends who just accept me the way I am,
• A healthy body to do the things I enjoy, and
• Most importantly, His son to die for my transgressions.

Of course, He has also given me so much blessings in almost every other area of my life, and I sincerely give thanks to all that He has given me. I guess, for now, demanding Him to point me to the perfect love-life is too ungrateful a thing for me to do....

For now, I just want to indulge in His love....

I don't mean to keep posting video clips from youtube, but this is really neat!

What if Darth Vadar visits Japan?

My newfound favorite rock band from the Land of the Rising Sun.... :)