Oh yes, it occurred to me that:

1. The mass jogging event (JPMorgan run) was on a Wednesday,
2. It was its third run held locally, and
3. I clocked 33 minutes and 30 seconds for the 5.6km route.

Other than the zero in the 30 seconds, I had so many threes that day.... Perhaps, it's a hint for me to focus on the Trinity... :p

It was a freaking long day for me today. After handing over the working macro to John, I was astonished to be informed that the macro didn't match his requirements. "I wanted the macro to leave out unmodified issues and issuers from the list," said John. Hence, I spent the better half of the rest of the day re-implementing what he missed communicating to me the day before. Praise be to our living God! I completed the re-implementation just before the practice, with the reference He pointed me to before lunch.

And at around 9pm, with the other colleagues, Rayner and gang, we went to a studio and worked on the piece we are to perform during the sector's dinner and dance next Saturday. I don't know, but somehow I kept making silly mistakes, and somehow, I didn't seem to be able to convince them that the main vocalist should actually be the one setting and leading the tempo; the drummer (yup, that's me) is only supposed to maintain and change the tempo with reference to the lead's singing¹. Whatever the case is, I believe the other reason is because we haven't developed the tacit understanding yet. Perhaps, simply, I'm just plain lousy.

A good two hours of practice passed, and coupled with another 45 minutes required for traveling, I was totally drained by the time I reached home. The reason I'm still able to blog is because I have to wait for my mane to dry before turning in for the night.

Tomorrow's going to be another long, tiring day...

¹ After all, the musicians (not just the drummer) should not be the reason for holding back the lead vocalist when he/she decides to sing a little slower/faster for certain parts of the song.

One of the most oft-asked questions is: do I still like Elena? This evening's mass jogging event cemented my answer: yes, I still do...

Ever since that eventful day, I hardly try to catch a glimpse or two of her whenever I walk past her desk¹. I don't even mention her to any of my friends², or think of ways to court her; in a way, she kinda "disappear" from my life since that day. Although there were two or three times we bumped into each other³, I pretended⁴ not to have noticed her presence either by busying myself with my mobile phone, or by actively engaging a conversation with a fellow colleague.

Even though I may have recognized that my heart still lies with her, I guess I should still keep a distance from her. I guess that for now, that is the only thing I can do to let her feel more comfortable/happy... Lord, please continue to guide me in the journey of recovery ahead...

¹ The main reason why I still do walk past her desk is 'cos the waiting time for the lifts on the other side (as in her side) are shorter.
² Well, except when my friends asked how things are getting along, the only thing I would say about her is that "she seems to be disgusted by me."
³ Unintentionally, of course.
⁴ Hmmm, feigning ignorance is a BAD, BAD thing... In fact, I pretended I didn't realize her presence at all throughout today's mass jogging event... God, forgive me.....

As I was waiting for the betrayer to come for me, I could somehow feel His submission to God.

And while the soldiers were whipping and pushing me from behind, I could feel the heaviness of the cross He/I was carrying.

I could feel His pain when they nailed me to the cross.

I am grateful that He has died for my sins while I am still a sinner, and despite it was only a skit put up for the Sunday school children this Easter, I was ministered through and through by this simple play...

Lord, forgive me my transgressions, and make me whole again in You....

I have an impulse to love someone whom I have never met before; an impulse from the remnant of a dream I just had. I have no idea who that lady is - to have appeared in my sub-consciousness - and I could still vividly feel her kiss... But when the dream was over, I was left alone, facing the reality that love has never been kind to me...