Ahem, 2006 is just 'round the corner, and 2005 will belong to history soon.

To me, 2005 has been a year full of ups and downs, although there seemed to be more downs. There were many changes, as well as many unfulfilled dreams. Looking back, I believe 2005 could have been a better year.

Nay, what's the use of looking back when today's for us to treasure and tomorrow's for us to make? Whatever the case is, I still have to give thanks to God for His loving patience and guidance to this "rebellious" child of His....

Okay, no better than today to write down my new year resolutions. And here goes:

1. Spend more time with God (haha, forever recycled year after year...),
2. Develop more patience and love for people (not just family and friends) around me (fulfilling the 2nd commandment Christ gave),
3. Be more active in courting Elena, but not being too aggressive (somehow, I believe she's the one, unless God tells me otherwise; Elena, I love you!!!),
4. Bring joy and blessings to the people around me ('cos I think I was "gloomy" most of the time in 2005),
   
5. Read through the Bible once (did that in 2005 but gave up halfway; should be easier in 2006, since my cell group is going to do this together),
   
6. Internalize at least 3, out of the 7, habits of effective people (another recycled resolution),
7. Master the skill of speed reading (you simply have no idea how much things I have to read),
   
8. Pass the freaking difficult CFA level 1 exams in June,
9. Be punctual most of the time (I still have to be late in reporting to work, 'cos Elena don't report that early either!), and
   
10. Exercise more often (to stay healthy and do the things I want to do!)
    

Quite a list of resolutions, ya? For now, I'll enjoy the last hours of 2005....

Happy new year to all!!! ;)

Received a comment to my previous entry from an anonymous "reader", and I thought it would be good for me to "pen down" my thoughts to his/her comments. (There are few things he/she mentioned which I both agree and disagree.) And of course, hi to you, anonymous, if you still "happen" to be reading my puny blog, and this "reply" for that matter. After all, there really isn't such a thing known as "accident" in His created world.

I agree with him/her that Jesus does offer eternal life, which in itself is a fact, but I think that shouldn't be the reason why we accept Christ. After all, no matter who, all will have eternal life. The only difference is that those who love God will be in His kingdom, enjoying the perfect relationship with our Creator forever; those who don't will be burnt in hell, forever too (Rev 20:15). Which is why, Jesus said,

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. (Luke 9:24, also in Mat 10:39, Mark 8:35)

I'm not advocating that we must die for God in order to have eternal life. Far from it! I believe, those who come forth and respond willingly to God's calling, "fighting" the good "fight" (as in serving God wholeheartedly), or even just loving God without reserves, are the people who will inherit the kingdom of God. (After all, responding willingly to God's calling would most likely be a response out of love.)

Are those "following" the laws (or the more updated doctrine in our age) going to enter His kingdom? No! And we are to be reminded of that in the narrative recorded in Luke 18:18-29 (the narrative of the rich ruler). Thus, what matters most to God is that we have to follow (read: love) Him wholeheartedly.

However, since we are mere humans, always are tempted both by the devil and his minions, as well as our own desires, we will always "fall short of the glory of God" (Rom 3:23). But our salvation do not depend on the things we do; it is by His grace that we are saved. And in response to His grace, we choose to follow and love Him. In our temporary pilgrimage here on earth, we try our best to submit ourselves to Him (with the aid of the Holy Spirit, of course; and for that matter, during these times, submitting to another requires love too).

Yup, as he/she has mentioned, there are many issues that seem contradictory, but the good news for us is: Jesus only gave us two commandments (to replace the ten commandments in OT). First, we must love God with our heart, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. (Actually, I kinda lied: the two commandments Jesus gave is actually the essence of the ten commandments.) So, what am I trying to say here? We can never be made perfect by our own means; we can only be made perfect by His love.

We shouldn't add more burden than necessary to our pilgrimage; it would be wise to discern what God wants us to do, and not what the church wants us to do. And personally, I believe that His love should be the reason why I'm turning to Him (and not to the rest of the "gods". Eternal life? Why strive for something that everyone has?

As for the issues on believers and unbelievers being togther, I still firmly believe that God will make the path straight (eventually) when they are together. Yup, there are cases that things don't turn out well, but should that be the guideline in choosing our partners? That, I believe, is the reason why churches advice her members not to marry unbelievers, which sadly, has been mis-interpreted as a doctrine/commandment/law/whatever. I'm not advocating (again) this advice is useless; I'm just saying that, when handling such relationships (believer-unbeliever), God being in the picture is extremely important. Christians are free to choose whether they want to heed the advice the churches give, but I think it's extremely important to be aware that this is only an advice, not a law! I think that the believer in such the believer-unbeliever relationship should always put things in God's hand, and he/she must end the relationship if God says so. After all, God could be using the unbeliever to test his/her obedience; whatever the case is, following His will should have the utmost priority in all things.

Taking 2 Cor 6:14 to the extreme (i.e. mis-interpretation), are we to disassociate ourselves from unbelievers in all matters? Again, on face value (plus the extreme mis-interpretation), the answer is yes! Of course, we all know that is not the case, since Jesus gave us the great commission: "go and make disciples of all nations" (Mat 28:19). Hence, it is very dangerous to quote verses without knowing the context it was written in.

Of course, some of the teachings should be, so called, "updated" to fit the current era. For example, to whom the 7th commandmant "You shall not commit adultery" (Exo 20:14) was written to? All the Israelites? Haha, you're wrong if there was your answer. That commandment was written for the women back in that era! After all, recall that it was perfectly okay for men at that time to practice polygamy! Yes, God's original intent (as recorded in Gen 2:24) that monogamy is the ideal, but in order to provide for His daughters (i.e. the women), He permitted polygamy. Hence, men during that time couldn't possibly commit adultery (as long as the man marries the woman he has slept with, what adultery has he committed?), only women could. But in our era, where the law (in most countries) only permits monogamy, this 7th commandment applies to both men and women. Although we are not within the Law anymore (as in the ten commandments in the OT), Jesus taught about adultery during His sermon on the mount/plain (Mat 5:27-32), and hence, a commandment was kinda "updated" to fit into modern times. But not all cases are like this, and hence, we should be careful in how we read the Bible.

In short, we could never, ever meet the high level of standards God has set for us; He did it 'cos He wants to us to be constantly reminded that we are to depend on Him in all things, and more importantly, to love Him wholeheartedly. (We must still strive to reach the standards He has set even though we may never meet the standards, though. So we cannot be too laid back...)

Phew, what I thought would be a short "reply" has evolved into a full screen (or depending your monitor's resolution, several screens) of thoughts.... Haha... I'm becoming more and more naggy with each passing day.... But whatever the case is, I would still like to thank anomyous on his/her care for my spiritual life, as well as his/her love for a fellow brother-in-Christ... :)

By the way, if you are interested to know, Elena is a fellow sister-in-Christ.... And for that matter, I'm grateful..... :)

Found a couple of incredibly hilarious, fabulous video clips:

1. Backstreet Boys' I want it that way (Spoof cover version) which is darn funny,
2. Canon in D (Electric Guitar Version), played by a (supposedly) Japanese,
3. RPG Sequence (Final Fantasy Re-enactment), which is really a spoof of the incredible Final Fantasy VIII,
4. Diet Coke and Mentos Reactions, which is perhaps a warning not to eat Mentos anymore, and
5. 1337 Drum Skills, which is a sight to behold for all drummers.

Really hats off to these incredible people, especially those doing the spoofs.... Haha...

Note: By the way, do you know what 1337 means?

Tomorrow's the last working day of the year, and actually, I'm not too happy about it..... Why? 'Cos it's going to be another long weekend....!!!!!

Anyway, just to fill up the screen, and taking up valuable real estate on your monitor (and why the hell I'm doing that for? For fun, laughter and joy! Haha...), I just want to make a note (for myself, who else?) that I bumped into Elena again today in the lift!

And as the days go by, my affection for her is growing stronger and stronger, getting increasingly difficult for me to contain all my love for her within my heart, and I would very much want to tell her: Elena, I love you!!!!!!!!

Okay, so much for mushy stuff..... ;)

After 2 entries of bile (haha, what a way to describe my own entries), I am not too sure whether I should add another one......

......

......

Nay, I think I better not do that, in case anyone think that I am damn unsatisfied with the world......

Anyway, another 3 more days and it would 2006. Time flies! (But don't ask me why pigs don't) Another bloody year of loneliness has elapsed.... Another freaking spiritual roller coaster ride is finally nearing the end.... Hmmmm, I think it would be more appropriate to blog about these on 31st (read: no dates on that day so have to stay at home).....

Okay, after a few freaking paragraphs of nonsense, I still couldn't come up with anything to blog about....

What the hell! I'll just go and sleep till morning.... #$%^&*

As mentioned in the last entry, I attended a musical (?) last evening. Perhaps it was an attempt to correct my perpetual habit of always turning up late, I reached the auditorium half-an-hour prior the performance. After quite some time, we were finally allowed to be admitted into the auditorium, which I guess was about 10 minutes before the performance. However, after a good 15 minutes' (or more) wait, the emcee went up the stage and told us that "the show will begin in 5 minutes' time."

Later, after the performance, I went to KFC to buy my dinner. When it was my turn, the waitress told me blatantly that the leftovers were chicken wings only and asked whether I would mind having only the wings. Well, left with no other options, and dreading another round of queue at some other place, I took the wings, found myself a comfortable seat and started munching.

But what's the point of these narratives? Well, it dawned to me that people nowadays are so spoilt. People who are punctual are punished for, yup, being punctual, as the host would like to give some leeway to/buy some time for those who are late. People who loves the other parts of the chicken, would request for the choicest portion of the poor chicken when placing their orders.

What the hell?!! Yah, I admit that I'm equally guilty of being perpetually late for almost anything, but at least I'm aware of it (and am trying to correct that). But from all the experiences that I had, somehow, I think my perpetual lateness is a conditioning effect of all the leeway given by the "generous" hosts. Take that as my feeble attempt to push the blame away, but examining things at a deeper level, I think it's kinda wrong for hosts to "punish" those who are punctual. Give a round of applause to most of the concert organizers for starting their performances on time and only allowing those who are late to enter at the appropriate time; I think this ought to be the way organizers/hosts treat their customers/guests (who are punctual).

Now, let's address the chicken issue. Yes, I understand that some portions of the chicken tastes better than the other, and most certainly, most people would choose to have those parts. Yes, chicken wings are quite tasty, but compared to the drumsticks, I bet most would prefer to have the drumsticks. For those who are big eaters, chicken breast would be their preferred choice, as compared to wings. So, what’s my rant about? <Gibberish>, because of those selfish people's preferences, the rest of us have to take their shit! There are only so many drumsticks, wings, and breasts on a chicken, and when they have satisfied their bloody taste buds, the rest of us have could only stick to the lousier portions. Mind you, this does not apply only to chickens – beef, mutton, and whatever ingredients you can think of, as well as jobs, products, blah, blah, blah….. I must clarify one thing: I didn't feel shortchanged in anyway when I was given the wings; it just dawned to me that there are numerous selfish people around, who think that they are shortchanged whenever they couldn't get what they want.

<Gibberish>, what a terrible society most of us are living in! How long more must we, mere mortals, tolerate these people?!! <Gibberish> Lord, help us!!!!

Okay, finally, there's feedback that the past entries are boring…. (Okay, okay, I should say: the feedback is I'm boring)... But why should I care? I'll blog what I want... ;)

Anyway, I went to watch a musical (?) with Kiat this evening. Serling invited us a few days back, but it was only when we received the synopsis distributed by the ushers, we started to wonder what role she was playing. We couldn't help it, 'cos when we saw the description/title of her role that says "Working Adult", we were kinda crossing our fingers she wasn't just a moving prop...

Phew! Turned out it wasn't that case, 'cos her role was quite a heavy one. And during the show, we were also kinda surprised to see Jiaying participating in the musical (?), playing another important role too...

Anyhow, after the staged performance, a brother, apparently from the church who put up the musical (?), went up and share the gospel (there is only ONE Gospel, not four! Those theologically challenged, go and check with your pastor!) It was only then did I totally agree with Willy that Methodists do tend to emphasize on the "Me" part of the good news. In his sharing, and especially pronounced during the call to altar, he kept emphasizing that Jesus wants to give us abundant life. Well, there's nothing theologically wrong with that, but this brother shared the good news with the undertone that we have to go to Christ in order to receive abundant life; #$%^&*, Christ has been constantly knocking at our "doors", seeking us even before we know Him! #$%^&* For those who are accepting Him, these new believers are receiving Christ into their hearts/lifes - not going to Him to seek Him to have Him accept them! #$%^&* Christ is actively seeking us, not passively waiting for us to go to Him! #$%^&* Hence, the moment he uttered "Who wants to receive this abundant life?", my mind was totally put off, and it switched off to conserve earth's precious, and depleting, resources. (By the way, #$%^&* is not vulgarity in mosaic; why type hex dollar percent caret ampersand asterisk when I could just type #$%^&*? Lame jokes aside, read the note at the end of the entry for explanation.)

Yes, Jesus does give us abundant life, but that should not be the reason why we accept Him. Accepting Him because of the abundant life He gives is such a selfish act, and may I say, wrong motive! I'm not too sure how trained this brother is, but usually, those who are doing the call to altar would say something along the line of "who wants to accept Christ as his/her personal savior/Lord?" Pardon me, but I think the "accepting Him as personal savior/Lord" would be better, especially to those who are non-believers, since that does not project the wrong perspective that "we accept Him 'cos we (mainly) could gain good things out of it." Becoming a Christian is all about re-establishing a relationship, broken by the first pair of humans, with God. Pardon me again; I believe being His children doesn't mean having a smooth sailing journey in life (which many of us already know and agree). "Selling" the gospel to the non-believer from the perspective of "gaining abundant life" is just plain wrong. #$%^&*, this relationship is not about us; it is about God! Accepting Christ as Lord means surrendering one's authority to Him, and be led by God in all things (I must admit I'm still learning how to submit to Him). Accepting Christ has never been about "oh, I accept Christ in order to receive good things!"

Yes, I admit that I'm quite an "extremist" with my views, with which someone has already labeled me as "radical", and even Serling agrees that I am. After the musical (?), Serling asked me whether I'm placing the relationship with Elena in God's hands, with which I answered yes. Following that, I told her, actually, no matter who God has prepared, no matter she's a Christian or not, I don't really care; since it's His will, even if she were to be a non-Christian, God would provide the way, and see that all will turn out fine (that is to say, prior matrimony (or even after), God would have somehow touched her heart and have her accept Christ as Lord; after all, it's His will...) That is why "she must be a Christian" is not in my criteria list (for a record, the list is actually a very short one.) Yes, I know that Paul said:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?Paul to the Corinthians, 2 Cor 6:14

Based on face value, we could infer that Paul was discouraging marriage among the believers and the unbelievers. I'm sorry: I have to tell you that you don't know the context in which Paul said these words.

Paul wrote these 'cos the Corinthian church was associating her with pagans. I'm not too sure what pagan associations happened back then, but Paul's intent was to warn them of such associations and tell them to disassociate themselves from these. Don't agree with me? Read 1 Cor 7, and tell me in the face that Paul's contradicting himself, and he ought to be slapped. (And if you are still not convinced, go and get a few good commentaries and read up on it.)

I think the reason why churches nowadays "teach" the doctrine that believers should marry believers 'cos there would be one less thorny issue (i.e. religion/beliefs) to deal with in marriage; there would be a potential that conflicts due to the couple's different beliefs could result in divorce. I totally agree that this is a sound advice, but #$%^&*, this is not a command/law/dogma given by Paul! So please, please, don't ever tell people that the Bible tells us (Christians) not to marry non-Christians; it is okay to say it's advisable not to, but not "the Bible says 'cannot'".

And there you are, one of the longest entries I have ever written, and #$%^&*, label me an "extremist" if you want…. Unless you could prove it, don’t ever tell me that my beliefs are wrong…. (By the way, I don't accept the argument "Everyone in church preaches this/these" as valid, 'cos "by convention" is never, ever a good and valid reason; theologically researched reasons would be.)

PS: All the #$%^&* really aren’t vulgarities in mosaic; it’s merely an expression of my frustrations...

Have you ever heard of the Australian pop duo, Savage Garden?

For some unknown reasons, I popped their last album, Affirmation, and listened to it while I was designing a program (yes, I brought work home!), and even after a long, freaking 7 years, I still find their music appealing (and yes, my emotions were stirred when the track "Two Beds and a Coffee Machine" was played, and my buried anguish [okay, okay, more like pain] broke free when they sung "Gunning Down Romance").

Then I realized something: I'm so old now!!!

Didn’t do much today; has been lazing throughout the whole day, recovering from the late night movie session last night (or rather, early this morning). Anyway, still am super tired, and from the look of it, waking up at 1230hrs and the noon nap didn’t help much…. Tired, tired……

In a matter of hours, I would be dining in church, prior the eve's service. This year, the church has organized an event which they donned as the Love Feast (Agape is the Greek word for Love). Well, it's the first time, so I have no idea what food they are going to serve. I think I will take something light first before the feast... 'cos I loathe the idea of having to fight for food with others.... ;)

No prize for guessing: this entry is going to be about the presentation of the card that I've made to her... ;)

I'm not too sure myself, but I seemed to be taking my own sweet time making my way to work today, since I thought it wouldn't be nice to just leave the card on her desk. And hence, when I saw her already sitting at her desk, I approached her, greeted her (OMG! I've greeted her!!!), and placed (duh!) an original card on Francisca's desk, before walking up to her and said, "Merry Christmas! This card's for you." Like a magician, I pulled out the hand-made card (filled with nothing but my affection for her) and placed it on her desk. She turned her face and wished me "Merry Christmas to you too!” with nothing short of the most beautiful smile I've ever seen (okay, that's kinda exaggerating, but you get the point). I smiled, and made my way to my desk.

Then, during the sector's get-together lunch in the pantry, we bumped into each other again, and she, smiled at me again (okay, I have to clarify this: she wanted to go through the narrow passage which I unknowingly happened to be blocking it). During the past two years' Christmas get-together lunches, I would normally just fill my plate with food, leave the pantry and just dine at my desk; but this year, haha, I (almost) stayed in the pantry throughout the whole time, 'cos, other than feeding myself with the passable food, I'm admiring the love of my life at the same time! Haha.... I think I'm becoming a stalker/pervert/whatever in no time.... :p

And as I'm blogging the events that happened, somehow, I envisioned the day Elena and I are married, and that, I think, would be one of the most wonderful things to happen to me.... ;)

In the midst of making a "card" for Elena, and even though I have already simplified the design, it is still a pain-staking process.... I just hope that it will turn out good, and she'll accept it.... :)

If you haven't, run, don't walk, to the nearest cinema near you and catch King Kong before it's too late. It's a freaking good movie that, embarassingly, moved me to tears (Damn, why must that happen to King Kong?). Yup, it's that good a movie, and since I've never watched the 1933 original, at the movie's mid-point, I already wondered how this movie will end (which, incidentally happened to be my most unwanted ending.) There are some technical glitches here and there, but looking past that, it's worth every single dollar you've spent... (Or perhaps, I'm just a sucker for movies that made my shed my tears, just like what Deep Impact did to me a few years back.)

Perhaps it’s just me, but over dinner this evening, Christina kept exclaiming why I am still not attached when our friends like Brandon and Jonathan already are. May kept silent throughout her exclamation, and I kept using the phrase “What does him having a girlfriend got to do with me?” in response to her exclamation. Is it really that weird that I’m still not attached?

Hee hee.... no sooner after the previous entry, I plucked up my courage and did the unconventional: I apologized to my father, and admitted that my attitude was very bad.

Surprised, surprised, surprised... He told me that he has already forgotten what happened (though he remarked that my attitude was indeed bad)....

A heavy burden lifted off from my heart..... :)

Thanks, Lord...

I’m very vexed now….. I simply have no idea and don’t understand why I couldn’t have a proper communication with my dad… Perhaps it’s because he used to be super harsh on us and unreasonable at times. Most likely, that’s why I grew up not being so close to him… (yes, mum’s the one to whom I’m closer to…)

Just a couple of minutes ago, I was very unhappy with him when he wanted to hold me responsible for not making the necessary arrangements for automated property tax payment. Silently, though visibly unhappy, I told out the payment reminder and told him I’ve already paid the tax for this year. Okay, I realized that my flaring up was unnecessary, and of course unfounded, and I’m regretting now. However, apologizing is not an act freely expressed in my family, and hence I feel kinda weird to apologize to him.

I don’t know…. Aside from his bad habits (smoking, loud speaking), I actually do respect him as my father. I do realize that I would deeply regret on the day he leaves this world, and I ought to show him the appreciation for bringing us up… But somehow, there’s something within me that’s stopping me from doing that, and that something is causing me to feel angry with him instead…. My father used to be very unreasonable and strict with us but he has toned down a lot these years… But still, I couldn’t love him as much as I would like to…..

Perhaps, I need some more time to do that, and I hope it won’t on the day he leaves us….. Pray for me, ya?

Haha, after a long 30 days, I have finally blogged non-stop since last 17th. Ya, there are times that the entries are only a few sentences long, and for the effort made to maintain the momentum is no easy task! And to add to this excitement, in another 2 days' time, it will be my "blogging anniversary!" ;)

Anyway, the year's coming to an end, and I have to start getting used to writing the number "2006" instead of "2005" very soon... Whatever the case is, it's about time to draw up my 2006 resolution list.... ;)

Well, in case you are wondering, I am a:

Another week plus 2 days would be a day to reflect on the significance of His birth, and although I don’t really sing the tunes the retailers do, I still haven’t gotten anything for Elena!

Getting her a card would be the safest thing to do, ‘cos I believe anything else might cause her dislike me. Inasmuch as I would like to shower her with the most precious gift available, I doubt I could this year. So, what’s the most precious gift? Answer: One of God’s children – me! Haha…. :p

Today was both a busy and sad day for me. I guess I needn’t spell out the details to explain why, since other than what I have already mentioned on Monday, and Elena’s being the center of my life (now), there wouldn’t be other things to make me feel that way.

Anyway, I’m sad ‘cos I didn’t see her today at all! Only managed to catch glimpses of her now and then…. That’s one of the consequences for being so tied up with work!

Met Jasmine for lunch today, and needless to say, I was late again (that’s a very, very bad habit of mine.) Anyway, it has been quite some time since I last met her, so we updated each other over the meal, and I was glad to hear that she is very happy with her current workplace (except for the pay she’s getting). Anyhow, she seemed to be satisfied with what she has now – her mum, her boyfriend, her work, and her studies. Other than that, I'm also relieved to hear from her that I won’t have to give her any wedding gifts for at least another year… :p

I’ve installed PhotoShop CS2, and while playing with it, I was immensely impressed with its capabilities. I have always wanted to learn how to use PhotoShop, and I guess there’s no better time than now. And hence, after meeting Jasmine for lunch tomorrow, I’ll go buy a book to teach myself… ;)

This week might be one that’s going to be helluva hectic for me – events looming over the horizon include the second margin trading project meeting (the preparation is the killer, not the actual meeting itself), the third interface mock run of the Wall Street System, and the production of the new look and feel of the sector’s web portal – and I don’t know whether I could pull through all these, intact….

In addition to these, I still have one other scorching problem on hand: how the hell I am going to clear my remaining 7 days of leave. Yes, it’s one bloody problem I have to settle, and forfeiting them is not an option. Clearing them would mean two things: I would have to bring work home, and I won’t get to see Elena.

Scorching, isn’t it?

All my weekends are boring, when compared to those who uphold the mantra "such a waste for not going out on weekends" or "weekend is to have fun!"

With all due respects paid, I would prefer my weekends to be spent at home, resting. Nope, it’s not that I want to "appear" religious by observing the Sabbath; it's just that even on weekends, I need to "work". I would have practices for worship on alternate Saturdays (and sometimes, every week, in event I have to stand in for the other band's drummer), prepare and teach in Sunday schools on every even month (and even the odd ones too, also as a stand-in), and not to mention, sometimes trying to finish the work I brought home

Hence, weekends to me are very precious; it would be the only time I could rest (and nap). Going out, ha, is one thing that I'm almost unwilling to do. Besides, to avoid the weekend crowd, I would prefer to go out on weekdays (and hell, I avoid Fridays as much as I can, too). I'm not too sure, but I think a few of my friends don't see eye to eye with me... And usually, I would have a very hard time tying to find an excuse to reject their invitations to weekend activities (like going to the movies, shopping, dinner, etc, which I think could be performed on weekdays too)... Ya, if my senility has not worsen, I believe I have already told them my stand, although I think they interpreted the reason as I don't want to participate due to some other reasons (read: the pharmacist gal and her boyfriend). Sigh....

Anyway, I do recognize that there are some activities that would be best done on weekends (such as going to the beaches in the mornings/afternoons), and hence, when my lazybones aren't protesting too much, I would still join them. But I do recognize and acknowledge that the inertia is strong, which normally would cause people to think that I'm simply "playing hard to get" and be pissed off when I utter the letters "N" and "O".... Sigh.....

Whatever the case is, I'm still hoping that they will understand, and if you really do want to, ask me out on weekdays instead. Okay?

By the way, have I ever mention that I love Elena? :p

Accidentally slipped into depression today... Most likely it was due to excessive hormone excretion...

And for most of the time, whenever I feel depressed, somehow I would think of the person I like (in this case, Elena), and would ponder over my unrequited love for her. Depression is always a time that tempts me to give up on her and move on; it is a time I'm most pessimistic about love.

It sounds as if I'm changed into a completely different person whenever I slip into depression. Perhaps, there's a Ms. Hyde is lurking beneath the personality of Dr. Jekyll, only appearing during depressions...

Episode 2: Finishing the Unfinished Story. That's what happened today, during knock-off. I bumped into her twice yesterday (morning and noon), and today, I sorta "bumped" into her during knock-off ("bumped" is in quotes 'cos I saw her walking, about 10 meters in front of me, towards the lift lobby). I didn't catch up, 'cos: 1) I didn't know what to say (read: tongue-tied), and 2) I bumped into another colleague too, and we started chatting.

What could have happened yesterday happened today, and thus, just like the opening phrase, God was "finishing the unfinished story".... :p

After a long await time, and what seems to be an infinite lapse, this entry will be a treat for those who love reading: Elena..... :p

Okay, pick yourself up from your fall off the chair. Fortunately (or regretfully, depending on your perspective), this entry is going to be about her.... :p

Anyway, to cut the crap short, in case you are unaware, I was clearing my block leave since last Wednesday, and was only back to work today (don't envy me, when you were happily on leave earlier this year, I was working my ass off). Right after reaching the concourse above the train station, the first person I saw was (no prize for guessing) Elena. She was holding this can of beverage, which obviously was bought from the newsstand, and was walking towards our office building. I wasn't too sure whether she saw me, but I didn't really mind even if she didn't. Anyway, I didn't try to catch up with her, and so she disappeared from my sight. Well, I didn't exactly expect it to happen, but I bumped into her (sort of again) at the lift lobby, but it was only when we were in the lift (just the 2 of us, gasp!), we greeted each other with a smile.

Towards the end of our lunch break, while we were on our way back to our workplace, we bumped into Elena again, and this time, we were in the same lift again. However, this time, the crowd was quite big, and I was having a conversation with Lucia, so I didn't do anything to get her attention (although I'm sure she noticed me).

I don't know about you, but I believe there is no such thing as coincidence; all things happened for a reason, as "arranged" by God, so to speak. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I believe God is reiterating to me: Elena's the one. Despite me being a sinner, God still wants to bless me.... Haha... God is so good!!!!! All hail to the King!!! ;)

I love Ai Maeda!!!

Okay, Ai is one of my favorite artistes, and she is so adorable! I "discovered" this super lovable artiste when I was watching Battle Royale II: Requiem (which, incidentally, is a disappointment, as compared to the original Battle Royale movie. Luckily, BRII has Ai to save it from its fallen grace).

Other than her, my other two favorite artistes include Kimura Takuya and Takeshi Kaneshiro. These two men have so much charisma that every pore on their skins seemed to be oozing their sexiness every second.

So, why am I blogging on my favorite artistes? No particular reason, just that after I have decided to use the "My Picture Slideshow" as the screensaver, the very first picture displayed was Ai's! OMG, she is so, so, so adorable! Er.... Dun tell Elena about this, please....... :p

Finally, I've managed to solve a Su Doku puzzle, of difficulty level Evil, in 18 minutes and 13 seconds!! With that timing, I'm ranked within the top 48% of the people who solve the evil level puzzles... ;)

[I've solved puzzle #3...]

Finally, after an excruciating 2 days of downloading, installation and configuration, I have finally restored my PC to its former glory, except it's in a cleaner state. And of course, I have upgraded several software to the latest and greatest version (Nero 7, Norton Internet Security 2006, and Firefox 1.5). Firefox has a nifty plug-in, Download StatusBar, that, in addition to improve the built-in download manager, allows me to configure the browser to automatically scan all files that I have downloaded, thus saving me the hassles of having to remember to manually initiate a scan. Wonderful! I've also ditched Winzip, in favor for 7Zip, which is, not only free, a more robust compression utility. I've also upgraded to Microsoft .NET Framework version 2.0 and Java Runtime version 5.0 Update 6. Talk about having the latest and greatest? Hahaha..... :p

The only issues now are: should I install Notepad++ or UltraEdit (as the notepad replacement)? And should I install the resource hogging ICQ? And should I install Adobe Photoshop CS 2 or Macromedia Fireworks 8? Hmmm......

In the midst of setting up my PC.... A once-in-a-while spring-cleaning exercise to keep the windows registry clean......

Still super tired..... Didn't realize it can be so draining playing with a BIG bunch of kids..... For a nice side-effect, the bum muscles are arching, so most likely, I'll end up with a shapelier bum in time to come..... :p

Last day of Children's Camp, and although I'm quite glad it's over, I felt quite empty too... After all, having spent almost my entire waking moments in church (and outdoors) with the children, I'm already missing the fun I had with them, despite some were difficult to handle... I'm looking forward to next year's children's camp already... ;)

[Side note: after a prolonged exposure to the sun today, I'm slightly tanned, which I'm quite happy about it. The sad thing is: the only tanned portions of my face are my nose and my cheek bones - and in one way or another, it seems like I've applied powder on my cheek bones.... Argh.......]

Day 2, Children's Camp, was another superduper exhausting day... I was to teach them about peacemaking, one of the Beatitudes, and I chose puppetry as the media to deliver the message. However, since my audience was the pre-school kids, having them to sit still to watch the play was near impossible (or should I say impossible?)...

Anyway, tomorrow's the last day, which incidentally would also be the most exhaustive one: we are going to bring the children out of the church for outdoor activities. I think I will crumble under their excitement tomorrow....

During lunch, in the church's children (day) camp, one of the boys (can't remember his name), after taking a few bites, said he didn't like the lunch pack and requested Anna to throw it away for him. I told him we shouldn't waste any food, with which he responded with the most infuriating answer ever "Just throw it away; it costs only 2 bucks."

If he were to be my son, I will whack him upside-down, inside-out and throw him into "poverty" for weeks to come, to make sure he learns the lesson that the money he spends do not come easily or freely. What a spoilt brat! I hope his parents didn't actually instill these kind of mentality into him since young; what the hell, he did not even acknowledge that the money he spends come from his parents (and I have no idea how well-off his parents are.)

"Fine," I said "if you pay me 2 bucks, I'll throw it for you."

"Just throw it away!"

"2 bucks and I'll do it."

"I don't have!!!"

"So, do you know who paid for your camp's fees? You? Or your parents?"

He remained silent, refusing to answer a question which he knew clearly what the answer was. And when I stepped away, he continued to ask Anna to throw the lunch pack away. I even heard him saying "Even if you don't throw it now, eventually someone will."

Damnit! I wished I could send this spoilt brat to a third world country to experience poverty. He should count his blessings that I'm not his parent.....