Changi Naval Training Base

i've been relocated!! and it sucks so bad!! it costs me 22 bucks to get home :`(
boohoohoo..~~ this sucks..*sobsob*
i wanna go back to sembawang..sigh..*misery*
o wells life goes on..the recruits will be passing out this week and bmt 03/04 is coming to a closure..hapy memories and friends..hardships and fun..
i swam in the rsn meet too! and menaged to claim a medal for my own (rather lucky)

it's times like there which i'm really motivated to upgrade myself cos of this emptiness i've been feeling inside recently..just some sort of a blank style of life..living for nothing..working for nothing..no enjoyment..no agony..just plain passiveness..
no voice within my soul crying out or laughing..nothing but a the errie silence of sitting within the shade of a burnt tree on a gloomy day..lifeless..
ughh..this sucks..my books coming to a close now and i've gotta study for SATS this saturday..

starting to wonder what friends are made of,...what is the purpose of friends?
maybe i'm suffering from friends...or perhaps te lack of them..oh geez i miss gina..
maybe it's just withdrawal symptoms and it'll soon come to pass, as will all pain,..as will every emotion and every form of matter..

chill out, cheer up i tell myself, yet that's what i'm doing..chilling out pasively, from within, y soul is feeding upon myself..and i'm losing this plot of 'the purpose of life', or the end of it..God i love you~ show shed some life upon me won't you?


---You can ourdistance that which is running after you, but never that which is within you---

A Nice warm fuzzy day :)

Aye there! today's a nice warm sunday and i just so feel like eating some ice-cream..tomorrow i've got an event to swim : ( and that sucks real bad..Kenny wants to go jogging today and so do i! wanna keep fit and i dunw anna grow fat..sigh..i wonder how massive my book of quotes is gonna turn out to be..hope i can make a book out of it or something..girls girls girls...i dun need girls, yet i yearn to have a girlfriend cos i reallie miss gin..holding her close to me..sigh..oh wells, u can't have it all~so sad too that liverpool lost yesterday..damn sucks..dan't wait for lau period..and i realy wanna go get my teeth done up too!!!! before it's too late..and i can't be bothered anymore..now i regret having delayed and delayed and finally put it off..there're still a few things i wanna get..a new belt, a pair of thin-frame glasses, bracers, driving license..hm..that's about it..and jeans i guess..sighs..i miss jc life :'(

life goes on..
--You can outdistance that which is running after you, but never that from inside of you.

nothing but a void within my heart

Here i am perched on an office chair, reflecting my life for the past two days.
it was by no means good.

Gin's been practically telling me how sad she is, and i wonder if she knows there's nothing much i can do for her anymore..i wish i could, but i can't cause i still love her.
and i'm just trying to move on..
i thought that's what she wanted for me at least..yet she keeps me trapped here..it's almost a test of my resolve..oh i don't know..maybe she still needs someone to dote on her, but my time's past..it past when she said she didn't want me, so what's with all this?
How could i possibly become her best friend after she broke up with me? feelings still intact, i'd be a boyfriend with a best friend tag.sigh.

internally, i've been in turmoil..as always, asking myself questions that i can't answer..asked sarah(who seemed the most mature) the same questions that was bugging me but she had no answer either..maybe i'm thinking too much, maybe i'm just lost, maybe i'm just wasting my time~

what's our purpose in life?
what're we here to accomplish?
everyone has theories, and theories exist because no one's really sure at all..which is rather discouraging for me..
currently, i just lead life by aiming for everyone to be happy, if he's happy, she's happy, then i'll be happy too,..it's them who makes me happy anyways..sigh..
which leads me to wonder why do people aim to be LOOKING good instead of BEING good?
sigh..oh i don't know..and until i find out, i'll still be seeking to fill that void within my heart..


"To err is human;to Forgive,divine."

oh happy day!

a good day where i played mahjong, went to church, signed up for driving, slept, ate, played, jogged, even sparring time for some reflection...

listening to La Luna by belinda carlisle now and describing todays highlights, thoughts as well as emotions...

what does love mean?
kenny's desperate like anything and so am i but who isn't? love is a wonderful thing that poisons yets protects and nurtures..it's so special nothing can replace it fully..
read this somewhere..

"Don't try to fall in love with someone you can live with, look to fall in love with someone you can't live without"

heh
joy to the world..i love my family and friends..take care ya all..
la luna la luna~~

Confused..so Confused..i didn't mean to..

Oh crappy crappy..last night was so bad i cried and i couldn't get any sleep~
i kept wondering why things were likedat

so painful

seeing her joyful face in my mind brought my happiness, made me cheery~
but soon all was enveloped with a twisting Jealousness..a despairing soul..which is my own..
confusion..i need to sort myself out..

..and all good things will be yours.

sitting here and i can feel my life ebbing away as i perform COS duty..
an understatement to say i'm bored, yet i must say i rather this than say running..
don't know why but i just can't seem to get myself off my butt these days..

miss the attention of my girlfriend and having withdrawal symptoms of some sort..
anyhows life goes on.."L'amour faite passer les temps. Les temps faite passer l'amour."

trust in God~
Fear less, hope more,
eat less, chew more,
whine less, breathe more,
talk less, say more,
hate less, love more,
and all good things will be yours.

Sorrow*

snow is falling down on this glorious land..
colours fading turning into white again..
to fallen heros angels sing..
they cry their winter tears..
endless mourning days will turn to years..

So this is goodbye
i take leave of you and
spread your wings and you will fly away now,
fly away now~~

nothing on earth stays forever
but none of your deeds were in vain..
deep in our hearts u will live again..
you've come to the home of the brave...

every silent moment i will treasure inside..
even though it's hard to understand..
that a silent wind can blow the candle out..
taking everything leaving the pain far behind..

you call out my name,
but your voice is fading..
into the wind embraced you'll fly away now..
fly away nowww..

nothing on earth stays forever
but none of your deeds were in vain..
deep in our hearts u will live again..
you've come to the home of the brave...

down on bended knee i pray,
bring courage to these souls..
let them live forever in the heart of the bold
so i say farewell my friends
i hope we meet again
when my time has come to fall from grace~~~

--to tsunami hit victims--

As the New Year unfolds..

Today i'm back in camp after a long weekend and it feels kinda weird cos i've been out and aroung this new year,..jumping from place to place before i could even settle in~
spend the last moments of 2004 over by Kenny's and went home to Mahjong and my iPodMini~ :)
which is really AWESOME :)

Been hanging out with Kenny alot lately as we're kinda in the same dilemma..yawn..life's getting boring as usual..been glued to my book and my iPodMini the whole darn day..it's like booked in at 8, went to sleep at 11+, skipping lunch, and then woke up at 1530 went for a swim came back at 1610 and basically been slacking around..sigh..life doesn't get more boring than this...i feel like going out! i feel like drinking and getting real high! :P

wohohohohoho!
time to wake up to the real world..crappy..just a blink of an eye and NewYearDay's gone..
i think i'm reaching the age whereby i'm feeling rather attached to my family and friends..and i'm growing less intellectual and looking less and less fit..


My 2005 New Year Resolutions are :
01) Don't smoke
02) Learn how to drive
03) Don't shout at mum and dad
04) Learn to be more friendly and soft spoken
05) save AT LEAST $200 a month
06) don't procrastinate
07) Abstain from vulgarities
08) Spend more time reading to widen my vocabulary
09) Keep my hair!!
10) get my bracers done to straighten my teeth
11) find a really pretty and nice girl to be my soulmate! *tsk*tsk*

YES!
ok ok..
hope this inspires me to be a better person...
To every human on the planet, chill out and lighten up!
Happy New year!

P.S.>>
condolences to anyone and everyone victimised my the Tsunamis..Grief is but an emotion~ those who know grief will exult in the kingdom of heaven~