counting no more

the day that i hope would arrive earlier is finally within hours.
the arrival of the wedding mouse.
these months apart have been hard.
i believe not many couple can withstand any form of hardship
not to even mention a long distance relationship.

i would dare say that things went smoothly
there were times total chaos.
differences were settled.
finally i am can return back to the colorful world.
monotonous no more.

welcome home my bb.







 

painful mistake

i made a bad bad mistake.
there is hardly a way in mending up the hole.
no matter how perfect the craftmanship is, the hole will be there.
its the heart that has the hole.

there are many occasions where the heart gets hurt.
this is hardly the first time.
whenever it gets hurt the marks are mend back.
barely faded in your heart.

to hear that others did a much better job
i had to swallow my dignity.
only had myself to blame.
its true, i am not some one who is good at affection.
practical. irrogant. useless. poor.
not even close to being attractive.
what else can one like me ask for.

one gift that is brought to me by fate is now destroyed.
i cant fix the hole.
cant even get pass my stage of the damaged.
not to mention people that got hurt directly.

doubt me doubt my capability.
doubt my love doubt my dignity.
doubt me doubt my senses.
doubt my EQ doubt my irrogances.
doubt me doubt my memory.
doubt my feelings doubt my punctuality.
doubt everything part of me.

every part of me is a lie. every part of me is false.
the truth is i am not the worthy one of the gift.
perhaps one of those that really show concern bound to have a chance.

this time, it really got deep.
i felt it.
to me its the greatest mistake i have ever done so far to hurt others.
when it even got to me, i was shocked.
even my heart felt the pain that others suffer.
it really hurted.

its my fault and i accept it.
it is me and just me.

deep asleep

i would say its impressive how some stood so low in order to get money.
as the saying goes money makes the world go round
really does make some sense.

somethings will never improve.
the technology advances.
but the industry for entertainment still surrounds one major factor.
"SEX SELLS"
i feel sad seeing it appear all about streets.
directly or indirectly, one or another it takes 1 victim at a time.
one hot babe can promote to just about anything.
doping, smoking, sleeping around and so on

dont let yourself fall for things that have chain reactions.
if there is once there will be twice. so get a hold of yourself.
overdoing cause not only harm to yourself, it may turn to even a habit.
example: clubbing.

what is there that attracts you?

girls?
music?
friends?
dope?
drinks?

even if you achieve all of the above, are you really that happy.
as of monday, you will feel the same as you were the previous monday.
are you gonna spend every weekend at the club doing the same thing?

so what if you have slept with a bitch you met in the club?
it does not make you anymore of a hero.

wake up, bitch wake up.