i dont understand myself

i dont understand myself, do you?
how many of a times do you actually slow down and think what of kind of person are you?

asking people to do survey on your character. expecting good results.
this often happens in giving testimonials to your friends.
do you actually say the negative points about them?
as far as i know of, none made negative remarks.

i dont know myself.
what i expect in life. what i want in life. what i need in life.
looking around me, i feel inferior compared to people around.
looking further around me, i am much better of than most.
why the fuss? beats me either...

think of ways to look at myself.
why is that so, i feel so different?
i feel some became more open to changes... thrills... dares...
maybe i am too timid to try. whatever step i take i bear the consquences.
how painful it gets, depends on how hard you stab.
currently, i stab myself so hard that i have not realised how much pain i agonised in recent month.

have to learn to chill myself out of the tough situations.

self-reflection.

uni application

finally settled my uni application today.
its a hefty amount of money compared to studying local but i seriously prefer an all new environment to study and to get exposed to.
all my life in SG has been monotonous.

i need to break free. restrictions here and there.
take a slower pace of life, which is very much me.
thou, i may lost brothers / close / good friends. there surely means and ways to get to them.
no worries.

imagine every morning having nice cheese cakes & coffee before going to work.
(take note of the word GOING instead of RUSHING compared to SG)

i hope the day of my departure come earlier...

408 days more to freedom

little reminder

just in case you forgotten how i look like...

pic taken in holland v

things have changed throughout the time apart but my love and trust in you hasnt and will never change.

you may feel that i have react differently to you nowadays but rest assure that i am still the man i am made to be and the man you want me to be. love you...

miss extreme times with you.

as times flies by its already 2 months plus since bb left.
miss her...

gone.