The King.

As much as I love both Lee Min Ho and Kim Go Eun, the first episode of The King; Eternal Monarch was painful.
BAH.. Considering to continue watching it or not.

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

unlucky.

Sometimes, it's the little things that grind you down.

You could be having a bad day, and you just need that little trigger to make it worse or feel like the world is crashing down. 

Things were hectic. I'm feeling damm tired, trying to get things done, so many small reminders. 

Then I've been doing my job. Ensuring they are listening. Reminding them to sit up. Continuously. Taking away their phones. 

Then, ALWAYS, ALWAYS AT THAT MOMENTARY LAPSE, because I'm talking halfway, someone just had to put their head down and the person who came by earlier JUST HAD TO walk back and SEE IT. 

It is so frustrating. 

IT IS NOT THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN DOING MY JOB BUT THE TIMING JUST DOESN'T HELP ME. 

I FEEL SO WRONGED. 

THIS MADE ME FEEL SO DAMM UNJUST. 

AND WILL EXPLAINING HELP???  NO. 

Because the evidence is caught red handed. 

I have even taken phones away because they are not listening. Why other people don't come at the correct time and see me doing it in my correct act?? 

DAMM IT.

This really made my day really bad. 

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

*fingers crossed*

Can I let you in into a little unfounded worry (anxiety) of mine that's been eating at me?

I am so very worried that circuit breaker will resume. 

When Phase 1 started, I started fine. Going to work, adapting to the new norm. But as weeks passed, I began to crack.

Days got so blue. I lost motivation. I felt angsty. I feel everything is meaningless. I felt everything is out to troll. 

It hurts so much that I can meet with everyone and anyone except him.
When I am already so DAMN exposed to all sorts of viruses there could be simply at work, on public transportation etc. It makes no DAMN sense that why we couldn't meet with our loved ones.

It made me so melancholic. It made me feel so dejected.

I mean this sounds simply like a lovesick person in LDR.

I know it isn't rational, but the impact would have been lesser if it were a real LDR.

I recognise my vulnerability, and it makes me think how would I be 40 years down the road then.
I expected myself to have been someone stronger -- someone whom went overseas without kin or friends, someone who can go for weeks without calling home, someone who just lost my beloved dad -- I wasn't expecting this sort of vulnerability in something that's supposed to be temporary (as opposed to the list above of things permanent). 

Now that we are in Phase 2, I am #gratefulforeveryweekendthatwecanmeet, and all the time praying that even if it never goes to Phase 3 (no, don't get me wrong, not that I don't want things back to normal), at least NEVER back to that hateful CB period.

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)