#小proud

Maiden first solo driving trip to an unfamiliar place all on my own. Legit feeling accomplished and that trip ain't a short trip somewhere. #achievementunlocked 

Prior to trip, I got some help from my hubby to understand those gps cues. And there I went. 

There is always a first for everything and I didn't want it to be the time I'm ferrying my kids solo. 

In fact, I solo drove my dad's manual car to centre back when I first got my license, approx 2012. It is half unfamiliar solo but definitely a route that my dad drove before. It was pure courage I tell you. Young and all.

But yeah, jiayou! 

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

簡單的快乐

今天，陪大女兒去游泳。但是，我必須躲起來不然他會黏著我，不獨立去學習。所以，小女兒和爸爸在泳池旁「陪」姐姐。

後來，終於下課幫大女兒梳洗完畢。走出廁所到大廳時，爸爸和小女兒坐在地上的地毯看書。

小女兒（8+月）看到了我，興奮地招手，然後向我爬過來。heart melts!! 😍😍😍

#lifeisbeautiful

That was a confidence boost that she recognised me 😍 haha. 

Maybe cos everytime I picked her up from preschool, she seemed reluctant sometimes to come into my arms and go home. 😅

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

坐月 · 畢

昨晚，老公問我：坐月快完了，月嫂明天就回了，你有什麽感想？

我當下就說：該走的都會走，沒有什麽感想。

不過今天，不曉得自己到底是慶幸終於可以“大開吃戒”，還是懊惱來臨更缺睡眠的日子，或是顧慮飲食起居的安排，心中真是五味雜陳。而且，感覺這回似乎已經“習慣”這已定下的離別的日子，心中不怎麽感慨這眼下的離別。

也可能，月嫂特別專業，照顧老小細心有加，不過因持著合約履行任務就顯得有些隔閡。

可能，那也是她的自我保護。註入太多情感，更難離別，更何況她的工作性質必須短時間內過渡且適應不同的嬰兒、家長和家庭。

（可能這也說明我在工作多年後“刻意”保持距離感之因。雖然惋惜種種緣分，也想更親近他們，卻不想受傷害）

今日，我也終於把掛在心頭34周的紅線拋出手，希望把它拋出九霄雲外！願我與孩子們和家人都身心安康！

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

Hubby's love

While hand expressing this morning, I suddenly recalled this really cool periscope thing that my hubby designed and made for me while we were dating! 

*

As I was hand expressing milk in the wee morning hours of 6am, both my palms and fingers felt numb from the position I was in.

I knew it was my neck so I stretched my neck muscles to ease the numbness in my palms and fingers.

Then I suddenly recalled this really cool periscope thing that my hubby designed and made for me while we were dating!

I complained of neck strains caused by long hours of bending my head down while I was doing work. 

The next I knew, the hubby then made a semi adjustable periscope from scratch where I could mark while looking straight instead of bending down! 

Simple yet effective structure (approx 40×50×50cm) made with some extendable racks and 2 mirrors! 

I think that's how my hubby showed his love for people who mattered to him - to make our lives easier and "solve" our problems with good solutions. Such as 

- changing the gravity on the strollers so I could hang things on it without it toppling over when I carry out my child 

- making a ice bag stick for our child 

- securing fans in the backseat for our children 

- securing my monitor on the stand 

❤️

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

牵一只蜗牛去散步

牵一只蜗牛去散步

張文亮

上帝给我一个任务，叫我牵一只蜗牛去散步。

我不能走得太快，蜗牛已经尽力爬，每次总是挪那么一点点。

我催它，我唬它，我责备它，

蜗牛用抱歉的眼光看着我，仿佛说： “人家已经尽了全力！”

我拉它，我扯它，我甚至想踢它，

蜗牛受了伤，它流着汗，

喘着气，往前爬……

真奇怪，

为什么上帝要我牵一只蜗牛去散步？

“上帝啊！为什么？” 天上一片安静。

“ 唉！也许上帝去抓蜗牛了！”

好吧！松手吧！

反正上帝不管了，我还管什么？

任蜗牛往前爬，我在后面生闷气。

咦？我闻到花香，

原来这边有个花园。

我感到微风吹来， 

原来夜里的风这么温柔。

慢着！我听到鸟声，我听到虫鸣，

我看到满天的星斗多亮丽。

咦？

以前怎么没有这些体会？

我忽然想起来，莫非是我弄错了！

原来上帝是叫蜗牛牵我去散步。

While reading a parenting article, it mentioned this piece. Very good read.

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

Siblings

I had my own sibling only till I was quite old (upper primary school).

Before that, my playmates were my cousins. 

So the experience of having sibling is probably quite different if the age gap were closer.

Now that I see my two daughters interact, or rather the toddler's one way interaction with the baby, it is quite heartwarming.

It feels nice to having someone looking forward to seeing you daily. ❤️

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

What.

What happened.

The weekend just went by in a flash.

Nothing too happening yet the two days are gone.

(And quite stoked to discover I can haz basmati rice OMG, what a game changer)

The increasing fatigue is making me dread work a little, and looking really forward to rest (which isn't really rest but short rest before the real sleep deprivation 😅).

Hormones are probably over the place when all I could think of is I want to hug and carry my first born as much as I can, and getting super emo over it. 😑

OK, this post is probably showing how erratic and my thoughts are all over the place. 😅

Got some things on my work plate but just gotta handle it one at a time. 

I can do it!

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

Can't wait to march into March

February you are finally here.

Yet you're still crawling.. It's only 10 days into February.

Counting down 5 more weeks.

You can do it!

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

Giving of parents.

That day, while I was sitting on a chair beside my daughter waiting for her to fall asleep, she suddenly had a bout of itchiness on her lower back. 

She was lying faced down. She turned her head slightly, looked to me, motioned to me and indicated her lower back. Without hesitation, IMMMEDIATELY I said okay and sat down cross legged beside her and helped her to scratch her lower back. 

(I mean, I do that when she has a legitimate request. If she request for more junk or toys, usually I don't say yes.)

At that moment, I realised - this is what parents/mothers give unselfishly without asking/without hesitation - that you give when your children need.  

Then I reflected on myself as a child - I am guilty to say I will often grumble when my mum/dad asks me to do things or help her with things. Honestly, I would say that I have improved over the years where I will pre-empt when she needs help or help more willingly when she asked. But there are definitely times where I feel frustrated (because she could have been more independent). 

Again, most of the time when I requested for her help, she will help wherever she can. T_T

Again, this motherhood journey has been a reflective one. 

I am thankful for the growth opportunity.

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

Common sense, where art thou?

 Common sense is no longer common. 

I am finding myself adding MANY MINUTE details of Dos and Don'ts in the handbook for younger helper. 

It is as though if these commonsensical things are not stated, they do not know it is not right to do so?

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

情緒

2024.11.02

昨天，孩子因為有些情緒，所以她便推了爸爸。

由於先生的確有些不舒服，他也就順勢倒下，索性躺在地上。

我們都教孩子必須認錯或道歉，所以我說：“孩子，爸爸不舒服。而且你剛剛推他，你需要道歉說對不起。”

孩子就徘徊了一會兒，在周圍磨蹭，又不敢靠近。先生一直還躺這地上。😅

我便再輕聲提醒一次孩子。

這時，她雙眼有些焦慮看著我，舉起手，然後頗膽怯說“媽媽！”

我見勢，抱了她。

當下，我似乎感受到她的感受。（不知哪兒來的）

我便說：“你是不是感到內疚但是不敢說對不起？”

她點頭。

我說：“如果內疚，那我們用心道歉。爸爸也會原諒你啊。我們一起去抱爸爸好嗎？”

她望著我然後快速地點頭。

事後，我覺得很感慨。

首先，理論上我知道每一個人，包括小孩都有感情、情緒。但是，我還是詫異原來他們那麽小就會有如此復雜的情緒，只不過不會表達，而且大人也未必理解。

其次，大人又能如何準確地理解他們的情緒呢？

好的的挑戰啊……

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

貼心的女兒

在陪她入睡時，我們都在冷氣房。

一般上，若再開風扇，我一般會覺得冷，所以有時候我會加上我的睡衣。

有好幾晚，我都沒開風扇。

但是孩子想開。

不過，她開了風扇之後，她會主動去拿我的睡衣給我穿，告訴我“cold cold”。

好貼心啊！！😍

快兩歲的孩子 🥰

(Update 20.10.24)

這幾天中胃腸型流感 stomach flu，人特別不舒服，原本就想吐，變成更容易吐。

我不舒服的時候，先生貼心幫我搓搓背。孩子見狀，遞上她心愛的貓貓 Mofusan 給我，好似安慰我。🥰 這只貓是她害怕或不開心或想睡時找的貓貓，竟然借給媽媽。😍

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

Toddler and sleep.

I know the "sleep routine" or "hygiene" where we let our child fall asleep on their own beds so they do not wake up missing the comfort of whatever made them sleep (eg being rocked in arms of caregiver) and hence made a fuss and unable to self soothe themselves back to sleep.

My toddler was trained to have this habit since two/three months old where she'll sleep in her own bed (and patted when required).

However, these 2 nights, she requested to climb into my lap and carried to sleep.

I kinda miss the times she breastfed and slept in my arms. (More of the sleeping part to be accurate)

I think, it's good to cherish these times before they grow too old for our arms. ♥️

The mother instinct in me felt that she wanted to say something to me but she has yet the ability to do so, so she sought comfort instead. Or secondly, she's slightly unwell with a runny nose.

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

Emotionally Aware Toddler 1

• 26 May 2024 Emotionally aware toddler 1

• During dinner, I expressed that I was angry to see food on the floor, and I would like to see food remain on the table.

• On that note, she was about the leave the table then I remembered I had blueberries for her. So I told her, somewhat sternly, that giving her blueberries or not is not dependent on whether I was angry with her or not. She will still have it. However if the day really comes when I decided to not let her have blueberries as a punishment, means I'm really angry. I told her to eat it slowly one by one and not stuff a few into a mouth like how she did recently.

• She then looked recalcitrant and meekly ate her blueberries ONE BY ONE (wow her comprehension!!)

• After she finished and her father brought her to wash hands (with the help of Thin), I followed slightly later as I was putting away things. While helping to clean her halfway, my toddler 1 use her hand to put on my chest, which I at first took to meant that she was pushing me away cos I scolded her just now. But I realised she was instead slowly stroking my chest thrice. Then I realized, she was apologising!!! 😢😮🥺

• I immediately told her "Oh! You're saying sorry, apology accepted! 最重要是知錯能改，沒有人不會犯錯，人非聖賢，孰能無過？知錯能改，善莫大焉。” and I hugged her when she leapt into my arms and hugged me back.

• I think what was the most touching aspect was that Jing Si took the initiative to apologise, knowing that I wasn't pleased! 🥺 Because usually I would have to ask her to apologise to others cos she hit them etc

OMG I feel so touched that my young 1.5 year old daughter is so emotionally aware!! 😍

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

This too shall pass.

I intended for this to be a story post, but it turned out longer than I expected. So blog it is. 

............

I just want to record this to tell future self that - this too shall pass. 

Post CNY 14 Feb I was so busy with meetings and CCA, ending at 6pm. 

15 Feb - busy with unprecedented committee work (collection of money), and ordering of item for the above unprecedented happening. 

16 Feb - I felt fine but about mid morning, I could feel a sore throat forming. And I knew, it's not gonna look pretty. Still went ahead for the extended fam dinner. 

17-18 Feb weekend was fully sick and chasing after a toddler. Fortunate to have my mum's help for one day. 

19 Feb I seemed to feel better, as though building up adrenaline for the big event on 20 Feb. So I thought, I'm healthy!! 

20 Feb - felt adrenaline cruising and event was completed!!! I thought I was fully recovered. But the body understood that the mission was over, "it's time to breakdown" and immediately my illness went from 5 to 90 ☹️

21-22 Feb on MC and really really sick and still didn't really get well but gotta return to work on 23 Feb to work and settle some admin matters (which was delayed cos I was sick)

23 Feb - running on reserve energy with illness on a full day. Half the day yet to pass and got news from IFC that my child is suspected to have HFMD. Rushed down after making alternative arrangements and made it just in time before clinic closed, and it is indeed HFMD, thank you very much. 

24-29 Feb Alternated weekdays with hubby to take CCL. Cranky child because she is unable to eat ☹️ Poor thing. And I'm still not 100% well by the way. 

1-3 March Child finally feeling better and totally enjoyed her eating (so did the mother, me) and the pleasure of eating. 

Here I'm.. Still not too well but I'm glad my child is well. 

This too shall pass.

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)

原來。

原來老了，才意識到，生病時看到媽媽會覺得很欣慰、安心。

食物中毒，整個人簡直是癱軟。還好有媽媽照顧寶寶。

~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. =)