Update.

Ever since the last Kirei Project, I haven't had the time to sit down properly and transfer the entries.
I decided to transfer entries as and when I can.. or pick and choose entries that have left deep impressions on me. :)

Project Kirei04.

Finally, a feat!
I've completed transferring the noteworthy entries for the year of 2004! =)
*three cheers and three cheers and three cheers for ruiZ!*

hahaZ~
Anyway, if you decide to visit those entries that were written by me (i.e. not those I've copied and pasted from webbies/emails) in 2004, please pardon the Singlish/SMS language. I know they weren't proper, now. So I've been trying as much as possible to use Standard English/spelling since a few years ago? But of course, the grammar just escapes. For the gist of the moment.

yup. Now on to the new milestone to tackle 2005 entries. (I've got the feeling that it's gonna be harder to sieve through those entries!)

My eyes are hurting badly now. They are tired from all the staring at computer screen, and my fingers for alternating between Alt, Ctrl and the keys.

ありがとうな～
寝きます～お休みなさい～じゃね～～

The pessimist from the past.

NOW, I knew why that image, that first impression stuck.
manZ. Reading my 2004 entries (especially those nearing prelims & pre-, during and post-A levels, one word came to my mind on my world perspective -- sux.
hahahZ~ I knew I was more of a pessimist on the pessimistic-optimistic spectrum, but I never realized it was that bad then. Horrible.
Perhaps, that is why I do not like people stereotyping me just because I'm from so-and-so school. Sometimes such self esteem thing, it really has got to do with the environment. No doubt I've felt better in junior college than secondary school, but then, it took years to shed off that skin. On the other hand, on hindsight, sometimes I find myself extremely grateful to their devilish and morale-diminishing assessments. I became stronger, partly, because of these, because of them -- because I learnt to aim higher & not stagnate at a certain stage or set a ceiling for my performance.

But yes, begone.
Gone are those entries and this extremely horrible mindset. =)

eekZ.
I realized something.
I must really work fast at transferring my entries here sooner or later! If not, I will end up with A LOT of backlog to do, when it doesn't help that I keep writing English entries much more frequently at Diaryland in these few months!
-_-"

ra-bu.

Is there like some ラブ ラブ pollen flying in the air recently?

Somehow, the recent "hot" topic (in real time, virtual space) touches on love, marriage, relationship and such.

Thus, it's so apt that I came across this quote, which is pretty true, though rather extremistic.


"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friend' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." ~Neil Gaiman (Source)

baa baa baaa~

"baa baa baaaaa..." it bleated.
Into its black round eyes, you stare, and deciphered.
"baa.. baaaaa..."
With no hesitation, a hug you gave. Comforted.

The art of remaining anonymous.

[11/12/10 Edit: When I saw this entry that I've written a year ago, the recent WikiLe*ks saga rang in my mind. Well, a modern self proclaimed lock-picker Robin Hood is born. I don't wish to comment on the issue, but then, he proves my point that locks and lock-pickers are always there. Especially the photos on fb -- coined zombie photos. Been months ago since I read that page... and the deleted photo is still there.
AND with regards to that mysterious person, I've finally met that person F2F in 2010 (where I've read about this person even before meeting this person, scary ain't it? If I were in his/her shoes?). As I've suspected, this person is indeed closely related to a person I know. Is that a sigh or nonchalance I hear?]




When everything becomes public whether you like it or not, remaining anonymous & keeping your private life really private (not through means of locking your profile, blog etc) is an art, truly.

Nothing is seamless nor flawless. So keeping it to the minimum is good enough.

Besides, I don't really have faith in those locks. When there are locks, lock-pickers are born. It's a vicious cycle and continuing competition to see who could pick faster or lock better.

A little incident ascertained my beliefs. Never mind how I came across this mysterious person, the mystery is solved regarding this mysterious person, via a few opportune clicks without much hassle. A point to note, the road to solving this mystery wasn't done on purpose either. In any case, the world has shrunk and become increasingly connected (even in ways you couldn't dream of)! hurhur.

Well, it's not that I've anything unsightly, indecent or unbecoming to hide. Neither do I have a private life that's happening or interesting enough for anyone to take an interest in.

Then again, how do you feel if someone knows very well about you even before you've met? Are you sure stereotyping is not in place? Are you sure whatever that's visible is what it really is? Are you sure that's the real thing online? ...

So as an ending note, sorry to everyone who has sent me fb invites - in the past, present, future. :) But many thanks for persevering with the invitations. :) In any case, this post serves as one of the many many reasons why I hadn't succumb to the fb fad for 2 years. =P

Project Kirei 2010.

Spring cleaning for my Diaryland blog.
Thus, I might as well shift the entries that are worth keeping here, complete with tags and all. =)
Slow laborious process, but worth the effort.

Raining. - 9/11/08

"How long has it been raining?"

Since eternity. He gestures.

That wasn't a lie, she realized. Passing through lives, all the tears shed -- for love, loss, happiness, sadness...

The never ending stream of tears, isn't there any way to stop it?

You can't. He signs slowly, as though burdened by this heavy thought.

She was startled. She wasn't prepared that he could read her thoughts so readily. It has been so long ever since anyone had really connected with her, heart to heart. Gratitude, happiness filled her heart.

And in response, he smiled awkwardly at her unspoken gush of emotions, undetectable from her emotionless face.

She tried to move her facial muscles. It's been so long that she had wanted to display her emotions. Her hardened facial features, is like that of a clay mask. Even the rivulets of occasional tears left marks streaming from her eyes, making her face seemed even much more like a parched desert.

He wanted to tell her to stop searching. If what's she is desperately searching for didn't want to be found, even if it is right in front of her, she wouldn't be able to recognize it.

Stop being so persistent.

She was startled again. A phrase all too familiar.

You wanted it to stop, didn't you?

"I only wanted to find what I want to find. Clarify whatever that is to be clarified, and end it... conclusively." Her heart crumbled after finishing this difficult speech. Of all people, this stranger saw her pain, her tiredness.

I am here... Since we've met, it's time to part. You've found me numerous times. Countless times. You've forsaken my advice each and every time. As many times as we've met... You...

And with that, he left.

Written on 09/11/2008

---

That was something I've written months ago, and came across it while I was (STILL) packing my room that's filled to the brim. Well, something I couldn't have came up with in this current frame of mind.

And on 2 different occasions that I've read this, I've added more lines to the ending -- (well, the additions seemed kind of redundant)

Added on 21/2/09

"Who... are you?" She muttered after a few seconds, as she gazed upon his retreating back disappearing at the horizon.

Addded on 23/3/09

This familiar stranger, whom she has met for many lives. Never once realizing, she lost what she should have found at that instant where she found what she's been searching for.

6.05pm.

The music stoppped playing.
The time stopped.

It's still 6.05pm, isn't it?

Perhaps, the time has already stopped at this time without your realizing. For things that are happening somewhere else, in another place where you can't reach, you can't touch, you can't change, where you can't exert your presence, or in another universe, or perhaps in another timeline, another dimension.

The Window Media Player has stopped looping through the playlist. And you stared at it. You think to yourself, staring isn't going to do any good. Then, you decide to start praying. Oh, it's 6.05pm, you mumbled to yourself after stealing a glance at the time displayed on the bottom right hand corner of your Windows desktop. Whilst praying and meddling with the mouse and all possible ways to resume the music, you concluded that wmplayer.exe hung. It's amazing that even its application cannot be found under the Windows Task Manager. A sudden sting came to your eyes, while you nonchalantly wiped the tears off from your cheek.

Oh well. You sigh, gave up on trying to revive the hung programme, and decided to try your luck on the other devices with music playing capabilities. Realplayer? Nero? Foobar? iTunes? Kazaa? Hmmm. You ponder, and select the best possibility among the few alternatives on hand.

The music resumes, but never going back to the piece of music that you've been looping earlier.

You then went back to the work that you've been working on earlier, before the interruption caused by the halted music. You glanced at the time on the desktop absentmindedly -- 6.05pm still. Good, plenty of time to complete the work on hand.

In a matter of minutes, you are interrupted by an incoming sms. You fumbled for your phone on your messy table piled with books, notes, stationeries, paper clips.

"How's work coming along?"

You muttered under breath for having received such an inconsequential sms, especially when you've already been disrupted earlier and just gotten back your concentration. And especially when you knew that the person meant competition, not care and concern.

With defiance, you flung your phone on your bed without replying the message, not without changing it to the silent mode.

Suddenly, on a split second, something flashed across your mind.

Wait a second. What... what was the time I saw on the incoming message? You checked the time on your desktop once more.

6.05pm.. right...?

Reluctantly, you retrieved your phone from the bed and tallied the time.

6.30pm.

Yor jaws dropped, and you stared at the stark contrast. You reached for your 2 watches in the cupboard. And the time is indeed 6.30pm.

You felt really stunned at the shortchange.

It's still 6.05pm, isn't it?

Yeah. It is. In another timeline, where your time has stopped moving, where your music has stopped playing, and in a place where everything has come to a standstill.

"Checkmate," the guardian of the timeline announced.

"You have been eliminated from this timeline."

And tears stung your eyes at that time.

sudden realization...

[180510 Edit - 雖然了解，卻赫然發現，竟然一切並不太一樣。。以爲了解，其實根本沒了解到。（見斜体字）是落差？還是，自己已經疲掉了？Standing in one's shoes, indeed. 是不是自己離開學校太久了？怎麽我一點也感受不到學生以前那種感受呢？就連那些‘敏銳’的觀察，也都淡化了。。發生了什麽事？？？]





yes, its a very long time since i last typed anythingy here. hahaZ. altho its juZ 4 days... it feels very long cos its the hols and i din touch the comp for 4 days?!? wowZ!~~

yes, i haben type out/copy out my fave quotes from "to kill a mockingbird" and "Following the wrong god home" and the date due for the library bks is screaming at me to hurry up... meanwhile, i am readin other bks still... hummZ. my gosh, i still muZ say... "To kill a mockingbird" is a muZ read novel!!!! hahaZ... =P

yes, i have been very busy with all the meetings that run from 9AM in the morn to 5PM in the afternoon. and 2 days consecutive somemore! (n for the 1st day, i din even noe the 'meetin' is like so short lehZ. i tot it will probably end like after 5 hrs at most... hehZ) and the 3rd day's meeting run from 8.30AM to ard 1PM larZ... and the thing is, most of the stuff conveyed to us during the meetings dont reallie concern me. but well, my mindset is that of, 'i wont die knowing more/it wont hurt listening n absorbin more info/knowing more is better den knowing less'... hahaZ. so wellZ, i sat there attentive during the long hours of talk/meeting (wowZ, even better than when i did in econs n geog lessons! i never fail to doze off during these econs n geog lessons, hahaZ) and wellZ, sometimes its some sessions where the teachers share their experiences, teach the teachers new skills n communications skills, more n more n more stuff abt IP (its abt to drive me nuts tho tis have nutti muchie to do with me n my comin-to-be students... hahaZ). and TLLM is emphasized so muchie during the meetings... hahaZ.

and here's one quote that Mrs Chua told the teachers:

Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.

~~~~ Walter Bagehot (1826--77)

this is a reallie meaningful quote... sometimes, things are not reallie up for us to decide. we juZ have to try and do our very best and fulfil/complete duties/assignments/tasks assigned to us. and yes, its juZ somewad like responsibility for anything that is essential n crucial.

and i must say now i reallie fully understood wad it meant by "standing in one's shoes". even tho pple might kept saying they understand this quote, like what i thought so too, it isnt exactly so.

i think i admire teachers even more!! (and its an irony that i discovered, teachers are very human too... hahaZ... i dun mean they arent humans, i usually think they are like so almighty and cool and juZ so... shen2! but, cooped in a place with all teachers, they juZ seemed much more human to me, juZ like in jc sittin in LT studyin with my frenZ... hahaZ) nvm, i alwiZ contradict myself in all ironies, dilemmaZ etc. oh, or maybe i shd say i admire teachers even more becos i discovered they are just any normal adults working and their work scope is not as little as i always tot to be!

wowZ. the responsibilities. the duties. the care and passion they have for students. the drive. the busy schedule. all the committees they are in. all the meetings. all the changes in syllabus. all the collaborations with students. all the student exchanges that are in fact planned years ahead.... .... and the list goes on. wowZ.

its juZ so amazing that they have sooo many stuff to cope with and they have to set tests, mark assignments, prepare lessons beforehand etc... its really quite sad that i used to complain n complain that tchers mark our assignments so slowly. i guess they reallie tried their very best to cope with everything and its not their wish to detain our assignments for so long... ermZ. *guiltyZ* for taking things too much for granted...

wellZ, in any case... i am reallie very very very very lookin very much forward to 4th jan!!!!! :)


in any case, i shant have any tiny weeny bits n pieces of complains now at all!! hahaZ... becos, i am very grateful and glad to be given this chance to pursue teaching!!!!! =) *yeaZ* muZ do my very very very best!!!! ^-^


countdown: 5 days!

p.s. 3 seniors from the JC elective prog I was in!

回首2004

回首2004

2004年12月26日
00:00:01

圣诞节过了，也代表着2005年的到来。

刚在第八波道看见了长达数分钟的短片。

几句字眼内我看回我刚刚走过的2004。

525,600分钟、义无返顾、念念不忘。。。

其实，2004的确是个令人感慨、感动、领悟、珍惜、感怀等的一年。


07/01 宣布结果，对我是个莫大的强心针，鼓舞着我。

15/02 越来越悲观的日子。曾几何时说过的"没眼镜世界模糊/有眼镜世界更模糊"，就是这日。

16/02，28/02，01/03 瞬间的感动。

14/03 在迷途中，听了似懂非懂的大道理。也阅读了彭飞的"迷途"。

14/03 我想逃离。

02/01-17/03 陷入了紧绷、厌倦、疲累、自诋、恨己、压力沉重的阶段。I really did sink into real depression in this period of time. Just to prevent myself from further sinking into more depression, I even checked online for symptoms of depression and I fit into some of it. I tried saving myself.

17/03 自找的罪孽的结束。是感怀？是欣慰？是愧疚？是麻木？

19/03-24/03 感人的生日。

26/03 惊觉欺骗自己已久的真相。自欺欺人，自欺是最痛苦的。想过放弃那个科目，却已从"义无返顾"的决定，而坚持到了24/11/2004，最后一项科目的考试。要不是因为这三年来给予自己错误的"以为"，就可能会有少些事情的发生。给予自己莫大的讽刺，像一部在舞台上策划好的一部骗局，自己牵引自己走向灭亡。至少，我是清醒的，我知道对于华文与数学，对于它的兴趣不是"以为"的。

30/03 义无返顾的路途的开始。

03/04 设立了这个blog。

14/04 《华韵》的正式交棒。卸下了'重任'。期待《华韵29》。

24/04，28/07 做了很虚伪的事。不帮她写，她会讨厌我。帮她写，我会讨厌自己。不过，讨厌自己总比他人讨厌你来得过得去。

27/04，17/09 重新研究自己自找的罪孽的伤疤。隐隐作痛。

01/05 发现了人是会成长、成熟的。许多事件的发生，会改变一人的人生观及作风。

02/05 "不懂"的我，感受到了一阵恐慌的恐惧感。

29/05 我似乎领悟了些什么。

05/06 做了心不甘，情不愿的不起眼的临时演员。算是为我自找的罪孽赎罪。从此之后，一刀两断。感谢朋友的陪伴。感谢其中一位主持让我宾至如归。

10/06 欣慰及非常开心的一天。thankZ linZ!

29/06 生平第二次停电！Blackout！

13/07 (21/08) 快乐的体育课，难忘的友谊羽球比赛。

14/07 无意中非常愚蠢地与他人开玩笑，竟被看成是嘲笑。尴尬，万对不起那人。

21/07，26/08 有口无言的日子。沉默的羔羊。

18/08 生平第一次看的一场演唱会！HIGH到极点！实力派歌手roX！赵传、动力火车、陈昇！

12/09 我又再度陷入了迷途中，突然停了下来。我又开始在紧要关头寻找自己模糊不清的人生目标。

12/09，15/11，19/11 忽然对亲情有一种新的理解。想不到"幻影特工"里一句对白，竟会让我那么感怀。

22/09 第600th日，火柴渐渐要熄灭了。黄伟文及林夕的歌词配合地天衣无缝。

29/09 生平第一次竟然为任何一项考试成绩落泪。对自己失望透了。english is never my forte.

20/10 就因小别扭而中伤了朋友。

25/10 收到一则让我质疑的简讯。

26/11 (04/07，02/10，17/10，07/11，11/11) 真正考虑及反复审问自己未来的方向。

03/12 无理头的电影，无理头的聚会。

04/12 生平第一次那么讨厌两个人。也又陷入了低潮的情绪阶段。虽然自己认为讨厌自己总比讨厌他人好，他们所做的事实在是让我嗤之以鼻了。

08/12 蛮难忘的一夜。

09/12 证实了我的怀疑及猜测。

09/12 我醒了！卸下了重担！

21/12 收到了几张有意义的卡片。

22/12 让我非常兴奋的电话！

23/12 幸运女神的照顾！两位老师的好意！侥幸还是幸运，其实是模糊的。


却不知自己是否有成长，在之中学会了"经一事，长一智"。

期待2005年的到来，让我进一步实现已久的梦想！

灰

[180510 Edit -- Omg. Please do not ask me what exactly do these terms mean. These are hardcore Geography terms that I've packed into the storeroom in my plastic brain. I'm so glad I've at least included in the explanation of pallid zone then. hahahZ. Fantastic foresight that I'll lose sight of what are those soil related stuff.]


收拾舊物件，手指上染了厚厚的灰塵。
染髒了手，就像累積了hardpan laterite一樣地硬。
水的蹂躪也無法使它柔軟或洗滌清潔。
它卻成爲一個永久的pallid zone**。

永久的灰色地帶，永遠浸在水中。
似記憶成了模糊的黑白混雜，再加上淚水的汎濫。

**pallid zone is the zone underground (soil) that is constantly soaked in water as water table is above it.

to kill a mockingbird

You're not gonna chnage any of them by talkin' right, they've got to want to learn themselves, and when they don't want to learn there's nothing you can do but keep your mouth shut or talk their language.
-- Calpurnia

Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mocking-bird.
-- Atticus Finch

Mockingbirds don't do a thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird.
-- Miss Maudie

"To Kill a Mocking Bird" Harper Lee

i am halfway thru the book... wellZ... this is one book that i had alwiZ wanted to read since sec2.. i only read the script then.. and i finally got a chance to do so now!~~ Atticus (starrin Gregory Peck) is so coolZ!~~ hahaZ...

ONE more step to my dream!~~ =)

[180510 Edit - And yes, it's amazing you remember words that your teachers say. One said, "If you think you confused them, then deconfuse them." The other told me, "Presence." =) ]




yepZ yepZ.
it's confirmed.

i gonna be a chinese language relief teacher for 6 mths in (my alma mater). =)

omg, this is too good to be true!
i am juZ a step away from my dream...

counting down...
10 days.

:)

yeaZ!~~!~~!~~ yipeeZ!~~!~~ whoopieZ!~~!~~ hahaZ!~~!~~

oh, special thankZ to Mrs Chua-Lim Mei Hong and Mrs Seah-Tay Hui Yong... 2 teachers i met in school today!~~ =)

(hahZ, not like as if they will be reading this, but juZ feel like thanking them :) they werent my interviewers larZ)

and besides, i am actually quite lucky in a sense cos its by fluke chance/luck that a vacancy is available. woahZ, am i lucky or lucky??? hahaZ... i shd be gettin down to serious stuff such as reading the tbs le... *grinZ* :)

any "Idiot's Guide to Orchard Road"???

is there any Idiot's Guide to Orchard Road available??

i am completely, absolutely, utterly, terribly, fantastically, 100% hopeless in Orchard.

and it's completely juZ as idiotic to be asking for directions in Orchard.

But, i LOVE singapore.

there are simply so many signs around to ensure that no one get lost. hahaZ. (in order to cater to idiots like me, who, in 18 yrs of her life, still dunno how to manoeuvre ard orchard)
(sheesh, dunno how to spell 'manoeuvre' without the help of dictionary)

i hate the crowd. BLAHZ. i took a damn long FIFTEEN minutes to walk juZ from Taka to Orchard MRT. THX lehZ!~~ -_-

i hate orchard, esp alone! if i m with frenZ, its still bearable. hahaZ.

BUT, i reallie need the Idiot's Guide to Orchard Road desperately. (or free tutors?? hahaZ)

Following the wrong god home(I)

[180510 Edit -- ARGHZ!!!!! Lost in encoding AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! =(]


Following the Wrong God Home
Catherine Lim

omg... tis is reallie a veri veri GOOD book... omg... i reallie love the way she entwines traditional chinese folklore n beliefs together with her story!!!!



《理性的傀儡》***

責任、原則、親情、心願
的爭鬥
心，微薄的？？
？？社會的規律
理性的傀儡？？？牽動
淒美
試解開
理性的無形枷鎖
掙不脫的自願束縛
抵不過
親情的呼喚
撥弄著
心弦
固執信念的祝福
輸給了天算
奢侈的
一秒
卻？？？一秒
滿足了記憶庫
那
不悔
不毀
的永恒



《無題》

2 beings, linked by wedding rings
無形的捆綁
不需言喻的社會規律
各種責任、規範行爲
再神化那隨心所欲，那
不老傳説

died at 30, buried at 60
斷了緊綳心弦
留下？？？
再也撥弄不出
悅耳心曲
只有哀鳴回聲蕩漾

2 hearts, linked by red strings
人代神賜那祝福
十賭九輸的
傾魂押注
賭注人算？？？
天算唯詆他的無知

寫于18/12/2004

Keeping up with Magda

Keeping Up with Magda
Isla Dewar

just some quotes that i reallie like...

...You see it in the cafe, everyday people who've been hurt. You can see it in the way they drink too much too quickly or the way they drift away from the conversation around them and sink into themselves, or stare out to sea, or laugh too loudly at some pathetic joke...

i guess i reallie do tt sometimes. like, i laugh for the sake of laughing?? i dunno... but sometimes, mebbe i am juZ too bored. i reallie do laugh at jokes tt i personally found funny, but to others, it might be juZ lame n meaningless joke. wellZ. i have a weird taste for jokes and i realised i do practically laugh at anythingy.

This professional declaration that she was not vastly stupid came in time, just, to save Magda's sanity, but was too late for her self-esteem. The humiliation of being permanently bottom of class, of having her school mates snigger when her marks were read out, left its mark.

wellZ. sometimes some things that happened when we are young do leave a mark. and, it just keeps haunting you.

"What's on the menu for lunch tomorrow?" one would ask, stretching. "Might look in." and Magda would know not to let them see her driving illicitly. They knew she did it of course. She knew they knew. They knew she knew they knew. It was a situation she was accustomed to, could deal with. Life went on.

hahaZ... i reallie think tis quote is veri cuteZ! like, actuallie, sometimes the things we presume others dunno, they might actuallie noe... quoting Dewar... its juZ like a "it's the familiar knowing routine, the silent lie"... hahaZ.

Looking at this man in front of her now, noting a small stain on his tie and the way he ran his fingers over his chin, she realised that beneath the veneer there was a certain uncertainty. "This man is as insecure as i am," she thought then, realising the truth behind her husband's meticulous routine and design for living, "as Alex is."

i reallie agree with this quote... i guess, i am very insecure abt life too. i reallie do plan like every step of my life (nt to the extent of mths n yrs, bt to the meticulous extent of a full day, to every hr, every min, every sec). wellZ, i would imagine myself waking up, off to sch, meetin the diff pple, rushin to finish the assigned tasks n so on, and i gave a estimated time frame for each n every activity (even wad to have for lunch sometimes). wellZ, in order not to be caught surprised. so, i realie do hate hiccups. and, i do admit i am not flexible enuf to handle those unexpected situations n hiccups. *sighZ* which is why i reallie hate the programmes of OBS... hahaZ. besides, i am nt a very outdoor person. yahZ, which is why i am so insecure abt the new situations that might juZ pop out anytime, anywhere. i.e. insecure = needs planning..? dunnoZ.

... While taunting others about the tight control they kept on their lives, she hated losing the grip she kept on her own.

"Remember"

i helped fill in the lyrics for my fren... the very 1st sentence and all the chorus parts are written by her, while i filled in all the other parts... for the final version of the song, i wonder wad did she use... so wellZ...
for the (FREE) part, i feel its abit extra, but i juZ add it in and she can choose to use it or not...
as for the echoes, i have written 3 different ones becos i couldnt decide which is better, so its up to her... personally, i like the sad echo... hahaZ...



Remember

风儿吹，梦相配
构成双成对的脚印
海鸥飞过，寄托诺言
随它飞到天尽头，无止境

诺言坠，人双飞
孤独的天空可放晴？
飞机划过，带走悲伤
似苦似甜的回忆，心里转


~CHORUS

Do you remember the times when we strolled down the seashores together
(就算海滩再遥远
有你陪, 我就不会累)

Do you remember the times when we bask in the moonlight together
轻轻地靠在你的肩膀
聆听着海浪直到天黑~
~END OF CHORUS

灯火阑珊，影子徘徊
那似曾相识的轮廓
路途交错，四目双扣
彼此眼中的依恋，未蜕变

(FREE)
原来彼此像海浪仍然眷恋着海岸线
原来彼此不习惯一个人孤独的天空
原来海鸥还拥抱着我们寄托的诺言
原来飞机并没驱走一丝一毫的回忆
原来两个人的天空是最完美的天气

~CHORUS

Do you remember the times when we strolled down the seashores together
(就算海滩再遥远
有你陪, 我就不会累)

Do you remember the times when we bask in the moonlight together
轻轻地靠在你的肩膀
聆听着海浪直到天黑

You do remember the times when we strolled down the seashores together
(就算海滩再遥远
有你陪, 我就不会累)

You do remember the times when we bask in the moonlight together
轻轻地靠在你的肩膀
聆听着海浪直到天黑~


(SAD ECHO)*
风儿吹，梦相配
诺言坠，人双飞
一个人的天空
我学习着接受

(HAPPY ECHO ONE)*
风儿吹，梦相配
相同的梦辗转缠绵
共织一个美好的梦

(HAPPY ECHO TWO)*
风儿吹，梦相配
我们沿着一对对的脚印
till where the horizons meet…

写于11/12/2004

*Some parts lost in encoding, again.

pacin urself...

>>Speed
>>
>>
>>Whoosh!
>>
>>I sailed by person after person on the track.
>>
>>Whoosh - Whoosh - Whoosh!
>>
>>I am a runner. Well, technically a jogger. I often run at the
>>track near my home. Most on the track walk, therefore my speed,
>>however meager in running terms, is far faster than walking.
>>
>>So it's whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, as I pass the walkers over and
>>over around the track.
>>
>>My speed and endurance seem amazing to the walkers. Some will
>>come and walk for an hour. I am running when they come and
>>still running when they leave. I have whooshed by them twenty
>>or more times.
>>
>>I got several lessons in life today on the track.
>>
>>As I circled the track with my long steady strides passing the
>>walkers like lamp poles, I got to feeling superior. I know you
>>shouldn't, you don't have to tell me, but after the constant
>>whooshing past far younger people, it goes to your head.
>>
>>Then he came.
>>
>>He was short, perhaps five feet three. He didn't look like much
>>of a runner. I saw him get out of the car and stretch as I
>>whooshed by a couple holding hands.
>>
>>He started running a few feet ahead of me.
>>
>>He was fast. I sped up to keep up. At last, I had someone to
>>pace myself against. After half a lap I was on his heels but
>>my breath was coming harder and heavier. After the first lap I
>>was gasping but still on his heels. After a lap and a half my
>>foot started hurting.
>>
>>I was hurting; I was gasping for breath.
>>
>>I slowed up and got back to my pace. The pain in my foot went
>>away. I could breathe again without sounding like I had a lung
>>disease. He sped away.
>>
>>In a fairly short time, Whoosh! He went past me.
>>Whoosh Whoosh Whoosh!
>>
>>In life, there will always be those slower and faster.
>>Some have natural ability; some have trained harder. For some,
>>speed is simply their destiny.
>>
>>The point is, we each have our own speed, and we often end up
>>hurting ourselves and pushing ourselves to the point where the
>>breath is knocked out of us...
>>
>>because we are trying to keep up.
>>
>>I learned several lessons that day.
>>
>>Don't get puffed up because you are faster than some.
>>Don't feel inferior because some are faster than you.
>>Don't judge the capabilities of others by how they look.
>>
>>How much of your breath (spirit) is knocked out because you are
>>running someone else's race?
>>
>>Are you trying to outrun someone's car, house, clothes, looks,
>>job title, etc.?
>>
>>How much pain are you in trying to keep up with someone who may
>>be running for an entirely different reason, heading to an
>>entirely different place, with entirely different muscles?
>>
>>Slow down or maybe speed up,
>>but run your race to the best of your ability.
>>
>>Whether you realize it or not, you are the real pace setter.
>>
>>
>>
>>Don't run fast when you should be running slowly.
>>Don't run at all when you should be walking,
>>and don't walk when you should be running.

So what if you have an email?

>A jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft.
>The HR manager interviewed him, then gave him a test, which was to clean
>the
>floor.
>
>After that the HR manager said, "You are engaged, give me your e-mail
>address, and I'll send you the application to fill, as well as when you
>will
>start".
>
>The man replied, " I don't have a computer, neither an email"
>
>
>"I'm sorry", said the HR manager,"if you don't have an email, that means
>you
>do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job".
>
>The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only
>10US$
>in his pocket. The man then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10
>Kg
>tomato crate. He sold the tomatoes in a door-to-door round.
>In less than two hours, He succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the

>operation three times, and returned home with 60US$. The man realized that
>he could survive this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return
>late. Thus, his money doubled and tripled day by day. Shortly later, he
>bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery
>vehicles.
>
>
>5 years later, the man became one of the biggest food retailers in the U.
>
>He started to plan his family's future, and decided to get life insurance.
>He called an insurance broker, and choose a protection plan.
>
>When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him for his e-mail.
>
>The man replied: "I don't have an email".
>
>The broker replied curiously, "you don't have an email, and yet have
>succeeded to build an empire. Do you imagine what you could have been if
>you
>had an email?"
>
>The man thought for a while, and replied: "an office boy at Microsoft!"
>
>The moral of this story:
>
>1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.

---

hmmZ... tt part i bolded in the txt is like so... -_-||| ?!?
do not exist juZ becos of an email???? my gosh... needed lorZ.

and for the moral of the story, hahZ, i deleted the other 2 nonsensical ones...

thinkin outside the box!!

Three Choices What would You Do?

You are driving along in your new porche boxter car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car. Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.



You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.

WHAT DID HE SAY?




He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."

Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

meaning of love...

hahaZ, tis mail is so sweet! :)


A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 >>>to 8 >>>year-olds, "What does love mean?"

The answers they got were >>>broader and >>>deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and >>>paint >>>her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the >>>time, >>>even when his hands got arthritis too. >>>That's love." Rebecca - age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. >>>You >>>know that your name is safe in their mouth." >>>Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving >>>cologne >>>and they go out and smell each other. >>>" Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your >>>French >>>fries without making them give you any of theirs." >>>Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." >>>Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a >>>sip >>>before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - >>>age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of >>>kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy >>>and >>>Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop >>>opening >>>presents and listen," >>>Bobby - age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a >>>friend >>>who you hate," >>>Nikka - age 6

"There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes >>>both >>>kinds of them." >>>Jenny - age 8

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it >>>everyday." >>>Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are >>>still >>>friends even after they know each other so well." >>>Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I >>>looked >>>at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and >>>smiling. He >>>was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore," >>>Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else >>>kissing >>>me to sleep at night." >>>Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." >>>Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he >>>is >>>handsomer than Robert Redford." >>>Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him >>>alone >>>all day." >>>Mary Ann - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little >>>stars >>>come out of you." >>>Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think >>>it's >>>gross." >>>Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if >>>you >>>mean it, you ! should say it a lot. People forget," >>>Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked >>>about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest >>>was to >>>find the most caring child. >>> >>>The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was >>>an >>>elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the >>>man >>>cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed >>>onto his >>>lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked him what he had >>>said to >>>the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him >>>cry."

《同一个他》

yepZ... tis sth tt we struggled to write on 14/12/04 afternoon... hahaZ... (and we got a bonus... we saw one actor tt we dunno his name and we saw thomas ong too!~ hahZ)
basically, this song is based on the to-be-written short story that miyuki gonna write... hahaZ... so wellZ, quite a summary of the female lead... *grinZ*
so, most of the nice lyrics are by miyuki since she noes wad she wants in her short story... *grinZ* =P



《同一个他》

词：张芷薇&刘译瑞
曲：张芷薇

那时的我们可以背靠背坐著
什么也没说
心却早已交流过

我的愛情它來得比你遲
我不是刻意隱瞞
只是我選擇將他放在心上

我也不想看到
你們之間有變化

你曾經問的那句話
當時我沒回答

其實我們都一樣
愛上同一個他
無論是他選擇誰
都免不了尷尬
經過了掙扎*
我還是無法將他放下

写于14/12/2004

*Lost in encoding

pessimism vs realism

I am not being pessimistic.
I am being realistic.
And reality is harsh.

-- "Mighty in-laws"《野蛮亲家》

the above is said by Dacheng (starring Rayson Tan), who suffered the terminal stages of brain tumour.


So actually, don't all of your think that pessimistic failureZ doesn't necessarily mean something derogatory.

It just means that I am being very realistic of being someone who's not able to succeed big things. HahZ. It doesnt mean i am a failure (althought i did seriously imply that), but it is all because i am being very very realistic.

It isn't my nature to be pessimistic. Well, it might be true that a certain streak of 'pessimism' did run in my blood. But, I am just being as realistic as I can.



当你知道某些事情在眼前看来是完全不可能时(你已非常仔细地分析过了一切)，莫强求。

至少，你不会对不切实际的期望绊倒，也不会因原本不会实现的期望的落空而伤痕累累。

就像有些事情，一辈子都是一百个可能中永远不可能的可能。