Camp ended with a BANG.

The day after our return, I got into a car accident.

It was pretty bad cos the car was quite badly damaged, and yet maybe not that bad since no one got injured. I don't know, I couldn't decide if it was bad or not cos I don't have much knowledge or experience with cars. But when I went down to the workshop with my dad, I realized that it was no small accident. For us to worry if the insurance would choose to scrap the car instead of repairing it seems to speak volumes about how bad the damage was. Also, the mechanic was telling my dad that it was a good thing I don't wear spectacles, cos I would be having a huge bruise on my face now if I did. The impact of the airbag would cos my spectacles to hit my eye. That's when I said, huhhh but I was wearing my spectacles when I had the accident! Then he said, oh maybe my head was turned and it hit some other body part. But honestly, even though everything happened in a flash, I couldn't recall my body coming into contact with the air bag at all. So it's really by God's grace that even though the impact was quite big and all, I came out with just a few scratches and bruises. God's hand protects yea? :)

Elizabeth chirped at 1:21 AM | No comments

So much has happened recently, I  don't even know where to begin.
It's been a period of testing and so much pain. Yet I have found so much joy, strength and comfort in God. So on this dead blog I shall set up altars, to remind myself and to testify to others about the goodness of God. 


Let's go chronologically. 


So there was the week where results were out and I just felt so thrashy and disappointed. Fear is a terrible thing, it cripples your spirit man and blinds you. I was so worried about the future, worrying about getting a job, worrying about finding a place for myself in this world. It didn't help that there were many meetings to attend that week and much work to be done. I was so tired and down emotionally, physically and spiritually that Isaiah came and told me that my leaves were withering and it was obvious. The next week came, and it was more packed than the last. But the difference this time was that I was feeding upon the Word of God. And though by the end of the week I was tired, there was a strength in my spirit that lent strength to my body and emotions as well. I was in a much better state despite having to do more. Such is the power of the Word of God, and I write this to remind myself to seek Him first before all else. 


Then there was Bible Camp. My oh my. What a camp we had.
Something happened on the first night of camp, that left my heart broken and in need of a healer. I tried to numb the pain through the day by busying myself with other stuff. But by the second night, my heart and my spirit was just yearning to pour itself out before God. It was that night that I had one of the most beautiful time of praise and worship. There is just something sacred about worshipping God in your darkest moment. Words that you often sing without much thought suddenly seemed to be filled with so much depth and meaning. There is a beauty in brokenness. I felt so broken that I hungered desperately for God. And what you seek, you shall find.

I'm not the kind of person who often receives physical manifestations of God's presence. It only happened once when I was sec 2 and desperately hungering for God. That night, He came upon my body and seemed to have electrified every single cell in my body from my toes to my fingers and the very tips of my hair. Since then I haven't encountered anything like that. Yet, as I was weeping on my knees and lifting my hands up in camp that night, I had the same electrifying feeling in my hands and in my face. So I wept and I wept, partly due to the brokenness, partly due to the desperation I had, and partly due to the presence of God. But the story does not end here.

After weeping for some time, I finally calmed down and decided to go up to be prayed for. And there, round 2 begun. The pastor started with a verse that I've been claiming quite often in my prayers recently. Ask and it shall be given, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened unto you. Matthew 7:7. The door God shuts, no man can open. And the door God opens, no man can shut. At some point of time, the pastor started praying for me to be filled with love. As I've said before, I'm not the kind of person who receives physical manifestations. Yet, as he prayed for me to be filled with love, I felt something being pressed into my stomach. Slowly but surely, the pressure/presence moved it's way into my stomach and filled it. Then the pastor prayed for me to be filled with joy. And I felt the force that was in my stomach, begin to make its way up to my throat as if it was gonna bubble out. And I was like, What In The World!??!! Hahaha. But yes, other than the very cool experience of feeling something moving in me for the first time, after the prayer I just felt like my burdens were lifted and my spirit was free to dance when it was so down and oppressed previously. God is good yea?? :) And I haven't even begin to tell about the many testimonies I've heard from others in camp.

Yes indeed God is good. And I know that everything is gonna be alright :)

Elizabeth chirped at 11:13 PM | No comments

But why do these tears come at night? It's holidays. But I feel stressed and tired and I don't really know why. In other news, I think my daddy is awesome. Thank God for family :)

Elizabeth chirped at 12:21 AM | No comments

Lights will guide you home.

It's strange how I've begun to chart seasons in my life according to the semesters. Another semester has ended, another year gone. I'm halfway through my uni life, at the halfway mark before I get tossed into the bewildering world of working life and be surrounded by the idiosyncrasies of adults. Time for a little evaluation as always, but this time round I've got nothing to say. Or show. When you've messed up, what is there to say? A good tree bears good fruits. Evidently, I am not a good tree.

Why so harsh on myself this time round? I'm not quite sure either. Maybe it's because I'm at the halfway mark and the prospect of working life and the ways of the world is beginning to consume my mind. Or maybe because I am older and now carry more identities and responsibilities. In the past, there were only so few ways you could judge yourself and the consequences were lighter. But now it feels like there's more parts of my self that I have to evaluate and be fruitful in, and the cost of each failure seems to weigh so much more.

But enough. This will pass, as all things do. In facing setbacks, you just got to grit your teeth and move on. Grow up. Do better, be better. But for now, allow me to tend to my wounds. Give me a break, give me a kit kat :)

Elizabeth chirped at 1:33 AM | No comments