We went to a Youth Center in Jurong today as part of our local cip project before heading to Cambodia.
It's funny how I've been to orphanages and youth drop in centers in Vietnam and Cambodia but have not been to the ones in Singapore. Somehow the cips I've done here were always related either to the old or to children but never the youths. So being there for the first time today.. it really gave me a strange mismash of feelings.

They were so different, so vocal, so crazy and so wild. They were the kind of youths that we've been inculcated to stay away from since we were young. Yet as I sat there with my small group of 13 and 15-years-old girls, I saw that beneath all our difference, there was still the same yearning to be love and accepted. And I wanted so much for them to know and belief that they deserved to be loved, that they are loved and that they can be so amazing if only they learn to let themselves shine. There wasn't really a lot of time for interaction, but there was one special moment when I was telling the girls how they should reject the labels placed upon them by others and learn to affirm themselves, and I saw something clicked in their eyes. Then it passed, our session was forced to end, and I could only hope that they managed to take something away from their time with us today.

There was a girl who had a guitar at home but didn't know how to play and wanted to learn. So in the last 20 minutes I had left to mingle with the youths, I took her and her friend to a room to have a crash course. It felt a little ridiculous, because a keyboardist was teaching guitar, and because I knew that it was almost impossible for them to pick up anything substantial in 20 mins. But I wanted the girl to have my attention and I wanted her to pursue her interest in music. So as ridiculous as it was, I showed them how to play 4 chords and wished them all the best.

It's not enough. I don't like how everything was so 'touch and go'. A part of me wanted to come again and again to find that girl and coax her out of her shell. Yet another part of me knew that I'll probably be too selfish to actually make the time and effort to come again. Blahhh. I don't know. What if I.... hmmm, sigh.

I'm not sure if others think this too, but I feel strongly that our time in uni is something precious and not to be taken lightly or squandered away. So God, I really really pray that you help me to make full use of it doing what you want me to. Life's too short. (While we were having dinner today, a cleaner suddenly collapsed and had no pulse o.o)

Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand. But I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand :)

Elizabeth chirped at 2:49 AM | No comments

Remember me and Your promises. Remember me.
Not that you've really forgotten, it is I who forgot. But now that I'm starting to remember, remember me too. Remember all the dreams you placed in my tiny heart, remember all the gifts you've lavished upon me that I may use them to bless your name back in return. Through much struggle and pain I finally grew to become my own person, and now that I'm almost there, remember me and lead me into my destiny that I may lead others to theirs. There is a battle for my soul and the soul of everyone around me. Grab hold of my heart and teach it to fight with a courage and strength that stems from love, from your love. And one day I'll see those 2 visions coming into reality. Of youths worshipping you with all their youthful exuberance and emotions, and of the spiritual battle and victory that takes place through worship. To hear the sound of your army marching to war and victory again. Oh jeez! Let mine be a life worth living!
Remember me.

Elizabeth chirped at 1:57 PM | No comments

It shouldn't be, but I miss you so.
And if I could just muster up the strength, I'll do what it takes to be back by your side where I belong. One more shot, one more year. And if I don't bloom this time, then I really don't know anymore. Fingers crossed, dreaming high.

It's isn't much, but today I led a blind man to the mrt station and I felt so happy. I think I've reached a point where receiving hardly gives me any pleasure and the only way to feel alive is to give and give till I have nothing left. But it's a constant struggle between self-gratification and blessing others. So one last shot before I turn into a little wooden girl.

Elizabeth chirped at 5:54 PM | No comments

I study stuff like this in school! Can you believe it? :D
The wonder of being a FASS student.

That said, I hope every young teenage girl would learn to love themselves and not be manipulated by mass media.

Elizabeth chirped at 5:56 PM | No comments

I'm thankful that I grew up in a family that isn't bias towards boys. I wouldn't dare to say that we have gender equality in our home, but at least we are not as patriarchal as traditional chinese families. I suppose it's partly because my mom is a strong and vocal individual and my dad's a gentleman who loves my mom a lot.

Sociology of gender got us thinking about our experiences. I think because of my upbringing, I will never let a man step all over me. Just saying.

I like studying social sciences :)
Kay, drowsy from medication. Goodbye

Elizabeth chirped at 4:52 PM | No comments

What does love look like?
Even as Valentine's Day is approaching, remember Him.

Elizabeth chirped at 11:19 PM | No comments

When 2010 started, one of my new year's resolution was to dedicate the first 6 months to improving my crappy keyboard skills. Well, I didn't actually get around to doing that. In fact, through some twist of fate, I wasn't rostered to play for a long period of time and ended up touching the keyboard less than usual. Despite this, my playing somehow improved. I don't quite know when or how it happened, but one day I just realized that my fingers were starting to be able to play the melodies in my head. Not that I'm a pro now, there's still so much I wish I could do but can't. But it's really quite amazing to see the difference between when I first started and now almost 5 years later. Despite all the tears, fears and frustrations, I still made it through and got here. That's nice. But that's not enough. I still wish that I could somehow capture You or represent You the right way in my music. One day, one day I'll get there.

After I get my driving license, I think I would like to find a class that teaches you how to use your macbook with your keyboard. Then I can find awesome pad+keyboard sounds and make awesome music yea! :)

Anyway, you should close your eyes and listen to this song. I love the dynamics, how the strength and power reflect His might and majesty, and how the quieter bits kinda reflect His holiness.

Elizabeth chirped at 2:37 AM | No comments