One can hardly begin to fathom the amount of injustice in the world.
Or should I just say, Singaporean teens who are stuck in our comfortable little well?

Yes, c'mon! Let God shake the world! Since that appears to be the only way for us to be awaken from our slumber. (Yes I am feeling a little annoyed now)

I wonder, if you were in a situation where it's a matter of kill or be killed, what would you choose? If I choose to kill and I died without ever hearing the gospel, what would God make of me? If you were poor, hungry and jobless, and it was a matter of steal or starve, would you steal? 

I bet you never faced a choice like that in life before.

There is so little, SO LITTLE, that i can do for the needy where I am now. The only thing I can do, is pray that people who can do something, would rise up and actually do something. My only weapon is prayer, and so I shall wield my only weapon. But what I don't understand is how people can choose not to wield the only weapon that they have. Okay fine, i've been guilty of it before, when my heart was hardened and my eyes were blind.

"We're going to be selfish unless we deliberately do something about it," Beth Moore says. "Satan wants to make us takers instead of givers."

Lord let not my passivity or selfishness be the reason why another soul is going to burn for eternity. 

But if we are the Body,
Why aren't His arms reaching? 
Why aren't His hands healing ?
Why aren't His words teaching ?
And if we are the Body,
Why aren't His feet going ?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way

"Do you love me?" 
"Feed my sheep."

Elizabeth chirped at 11:40 PM | No comments

I think my brain is starting to have occassional short-circuits.

It's like my memory space is getting so packed that there are occassions when for the life of me, I just cannot remember certain names or terms or things that I should be very familiar with!

Times have change. Or perhaps things have changed. 
In the past, sms was used more for chatting. Now it's mainly for organizing things and collection of responses, which, of late I keep forgetting to reply! And we're getting so web based in school and in church that it is almost a must to check my mail everyday or risk missing out on important info. But my brain can't seem catch up with all the different info I'm bombarded with at one go. I am sooo not cut out for the corporate world.

Somehow, this year isn't turning out to be like the O lvl year I had expected it to be. Maybe Os are over-rated. Or maybe it's just coz it's more common than As.

Increasingly, I find myself having to make a choice between school and church, and I don't seem to have the wisdom to make the choice. How many can understand the struggle we face as christians and JC students? How many even notice? More importantly, how many have a solution? It's no wonder I hear of christians slipping away upon entering JC. I have vowed to not be one of them, and it seems that this vow is going to be put to the test.

I am officially stressed. And I don't care if people laugh at me for getting stressed over seemingly small things. I don't want to be a closet mugger or an owl.

I need my supermanGod.

And that is why there is still room for religion even in the modern world. 
Because no matter how we progress, there is always a limit to man and a yearning for the impossible.

Elizabeth chirped at 9:38 PM | No comments

I wonder.. if I can dance.

Considering the fact that I took ballet all the way till half of grade 7, and while I wasn't excellent at it I could do the character studies part (sharper movements less classical) fairly well, it's surprising that I don't dance at all anymore. In fact, I was better at ballet than I was at piano. Never had an honours, but I did get high distinction. But I only ever passed my piano.
The deciding factor when I had to drop one of the two was interest.

There used to be a time when I was confident of the control I had over my movement. I danced, I did gymnastics, and played sports all fairly well. While I wasn't the fastest, I did swim and run for my house. I could do cartwheels, handstands and somersaults although never a split. I could pick up a dance fast and get the rhythm right.
And I was proud of it all.

Then came puberty and growth spurt. As I got taller, I felt more awkward with my body. And somehow, all these activities came to a stop. I declared it on my own that I couldn't play any ball games well except captain's ball, even then only because my height gave me an edge as a defender.

And so now I'm wondering, what happened to me? Was the handling of my growth spurt so bad that it killed my self-confidence? Or are there just some skills you lose when you get older? Like how the average girl can't play with monkey bars anymore when it was so easy peasy as a kid.

Who knows? I think I would have to try it all again to find out. 

But it'll be awkward. And I don't know if I have the guts to find out the truth.

So I'll just keep... wondering.

Elizabeth chirped at 11:07 PM | No comments

Memories can take a back seat, but they hardly ever fade.

So, we're currently learning about slums in Urban geog.
I wonder whether it's because of the rising panic I'm feeling due to coming CTs, or whether it's because the topic has moved on to slums, but I've been able to stay awake in geog lectures this week.
Why slums? Because every time I see a case study/video/picture of it, I cannot help but remember my time in Cambodia. Sometimes I wished I had learned Urban geog before going to NY and Cambodia last year.

Instead of sleeping so much in the van, I wished I had taken a better look around me. To think we actually drove all the way from the "CBD" into the rural areas, and I missed the whole transition. Perhaps it's partly about having missed a real life case study. But mainly, I think it's about having missed the chance to have a better understanding of the people we were minstering to.  

It's a reminder that God's heart is for the lost, poor and helpless.

I'll travel Asia one day and not remain as a frog in a well.

Perhaps this is why I am 1 out of 11.

Elizabeth chirped at 8:47 PM | No comments

It's amazing what the mind can do.

In band, we learn that we need to audiate (imagine the sound in your head) our notes before we play them as it significantly increase our chance of hitting the correct note. 

With your mind intent on something, your body naturally follows.

So, imagine what happens when you lose your dream?

When youth (the time of your life) comes only once and a fleeting moment at that, what will you do with it? I would have said having fun. But I've found that fun for me is like chocolate. It's excites your taste buds but leaves your stomach hungry. 

Christians have become so hypocritical. We love ourselves the most. Perhaps we love each other next. Then where does the non-Christians our faith demands us to love fit in? We pick the portions of Christianity that we like and ignore those we don't like. But hey, Christianity claims to be a relationship with God and not just a religion. Then just like a person, you can accept him or reject him only as a whole. It's no wonder Gandhi's comment about Christianity was that he loved the Christ but hate the Christians.

My dream? Maybe now it's to live like a bible believing teen instead of a verse believing one. It's hard, but I want to take a step towards real living and leave falseness as far behind me as I can. Maybe my words will come back and haunt me, oh boy, I don't know what I'm asking for am I? Can it be said that not all real Christians are martyred but all martyred ones are real? 

Mainly, I'm looking forward to the day when I dun just talk but walk. 

Or maybe, I should start by curbing the sharp tongue and stop bitching.

Elizabeth chirped at 10:24 PM | No comments

I'm tired.

I love my mummy.

We're broke :(

Elizabeth chirped at 11:17 PM | No comments

08S51! :D
It's Friday the Thirteen and Friendship Day!
Colourful 'H' signs and balloons courtesy of Hans and WeiHao :)
It's always the same. In the first year I can't wait for it to be over. But now that we're into the second year, I can't believe I'm not getting a third. Then again, maybe a third would be an overkill.

3 weeks to CT1! Don't be pressured. Don't be pressured.
Self-imposed study restrictions to be in place soon. I'm easily distracted so please help by not tempting me thanks :)

Elizabeth chirped at 9:41 PM | No comments

Yellow duckie meets blue carebear! (i'm not in the habit of naming stuff toys)
2 lovable softies from my 2 lovable spiritual Mamas, Karen and Syl-vyn!
Thanks for being my shamar and showering me with love :)

I think something changed today. Like i had a mental gear shift.
Somehow today's sermon about happiness was quite applicable to me.

I've been quietly discontented with life for awhile, living as if someone owed me something. It's true that when we start comparing ourselves with others, we end up in a miserable state because we're left feeling inadequate and ashamed. Either that, or we take pride in all the wrong things. Things that are easily replaced, things that are really just coconuts. But when we learn to stop comparing, we are able to be thankful for the things we do have and live a much happier and contented life.

At the end of it all, I find that there's really no one else for me but God, no one else worth living for. No matter how you wish it wasn't so, at some point of time, friendships will fail you, family will fail you, your achievements will fail you and even you will fail yourself. Man fails. And we're left empty and alone, bleeding to death in the dark. At that point of time, you'll wonder why you even exist, you'll wonder about your creator. And then the religious will find their god and the godless will find god (some things just cannot be answered by science).

What do I have that is not given by You? All the abilities that I may have, that I was born with, that I call my very own and that I use to get many of the things I have now, are they not given by the one who made me, who is You?

The secret to happiness is loving.
The secret of loving is living loved.

Despite having been a christian for so many years, I am only beginning to learn just how high, how deep, how wide is the Father's love for me. I think I can spend a lifetime learning and still never be able to fully comprehend it. So why wait till we're old and dying, when we can start now and live the most traumatic years of our life with the best thing we could ever have? (yea I think being a teen and going through change after change is quite traumatic)
You never know what you've got till you give it a shot.

He is waiting to meet you.
But are you willing?

Elizabeth chirped at 8:25 PM | No comments

She loves another, but she wants to hold on to the guy who has been in love with her for like forever. Because of her, he can't go to the girl who is his destiny.
She, is the third party in most drama that everyone loves to hate.
Like c'mon! If you won't return his love, at least let him go. Don't be such a selfish freak.
Eventually though, the guy will come to his senses and go for the main actress. And everyone cheers while she goes green with jealousy.

Welcome to the world and normality.

Today, I realized that I'm just like that selfish freak in dramas.

I'm not deeply in love with you God, not at this moment anyway. But even if it is a selfish request, can you keep loving me even though I can't love you the same way?
When I am finally able to turn back to you, can I find you still waiting for me?
When friends and family give up on me, and I'm left alone and rotting, will you still be willing to persuade and pull me back onto my feet?
Can you promise me that, as long as I shall live? In fact, I need you to promise me. Because if you can't save me, then who can?

Is this what love is? To be able to say yes to a selfish request like that.
Then when will I be able to stay in a love like this without turning away at some point?

Elizabeth chirped at 11:05 PM | No comments

Oh where oh where has the little bird gone?
Unnoticed in its silence, it flies here and there, hardly anywhere.

Elizabeth chirped at 10:56 PM | No comments

My thoughts and actions are starting to become random and not coherent. 

Sorry if I haven't been the best company lately.

Am going to try and sleep it off before I say or do things I really regret.

Elizabeth chirped at 10:28 PM | No comments