HAHA!
Seems like i'm popular with the girls!
one conversation..
-RAE. <3 says: you so mean
-RAE. <3 says: only want bff
-RAE. <3 says: sobs
another conversation..
elizabeth; says: rachel is jealous
elizabeth; says: that i only want you, and not her
elizabeth; says: HAHAHA
JOEYGWEN~ says: HUH.
JOEYGWEN~ says: YOU ONLY WANT HER LOR.
JOEYGWEN~ says: DONT WANT ME.
JOEYGWEN~ says: :'(
JOEYGWEN~ says: i am jealous too.
sounds like something that happened in school before too.
HAHAHAHA.
It must be the height!
Monday, June 30, 2008
First proper day in school again!
I think I have never felt this depressed to go back to school since I was in primary 2. The only difference was, this time I wasn't dumb enough to try and run away from the inevitable. Oh, and God's by my side this time round :)
At first I thought it was because of all the fun i had during the holidays. But was it really that fun to warrent feelings like these? Nah. I realized it was because I missed being comfortable, being myself. To be free, to not be judged.
Okay, maybe it's just PMS.
Sighh.
It's even worse that there's no one to whine to while I'm in school coz BFF is in Australia.
On one hand, I really want to thank God for giving me such good and trustable friends that I can actually feel this way, but on the other hand, getting disconnected is such a terrible feeling.
Bleah. I should just get over it already.
20 weeks more till school ends.
I think I have never felt this depressed to go back to school since I was in primary 2. The only difference was, this time I wasn't dumb enough to try and run away from the inevitable. Oh, and God's by my side this time round :)
At first I thought it was because of all the fun i had during the holidays. But was it really that fun to warrent feelings like these? Nah. I realized it was because I missed being comfortable, being myself. To be free, to not be judged.
Okay, maybe it's just PMS.
Sighh.
It's even worse that there's no one to whine to while I'm in school coz BFF is in Australia.
On one hand, I really want to thank God for giving me such good and trustable friends that I can actually feel this way, but on the other hand, getting disconnected is such a terrible feeling.
Bleah. I should just get over it already.
20 weeks more till school ends.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
---------
It is time to go back to school and focus on my studies.
And time to put everything I have learnt over the holidays into practice.
Sighhhhhh.
till i see you face to face and grace amazing takes me home
i'll trust in you
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Just woke up from a nap!
I'm still young, but seems like I can't tahan staying up all night as well as before :/
I went to browse through my archive of sermon notes and found the love language quiz we did in secell during valentine's day when I was sec.. 2 i think. To find out how I've changed over 3 years, i redid the quiz since facebook's one was so inaccurate.
Results are as follows:
(sec 2 score/today's) - Type of love language
(10/5) - Words of Affirmation
(8/10) - Quality Time
(5/3) - Receiving Gifts
(6/6) - Acts of Service
(1/6) - Physical Touch
where the highest score indicates my primary love language.
Haha, I remember being suaned a lot when the results came out that my primary love language was words of affirmation. Now that I think abt it, it probably reflected my insecurities at that point of time. Seems like having gained more self-confidence now, words have become less important to me. How interesting.
On another note, I really want to thank God for wonderful friends who remembers for me things I don't remember for myself. Gah, I wish Joey or Rachel were online nowwwwwww! I think they remember words spoken over me better than I remember them myself. Bleah, sometimes I really can't stand this poor memory of mine.
I'm still young, but seems like I can't tahan staying up all night as well as before :/
I went to browse through my archive of sermon notes and found the love language quiz we did in secell during valentine's day when I was sec.. 2 i think. To find out how I've changed over 3 years, i redid the quiz since facebook's one was so inaccurate.
Results are as follows:
(sec 2 score/today's) - Type of love language
(10/5) - Words of Affirmation
(8/10) - Quality Time
(5/3) - Receiving Gifts
(6/6) - Acts of Service
(1/6) - Physical Touch
where the highest score indicates my primary love language.
Haha, I remember being suaned a lot when the results came out that my primary love language was words of affirmation. Now that I think abt it, it probably reflected my insecurities at that point of time. Seems like having gained more self-confidence now, words have become less important to me. How interesting.
On another note, I really want to thank God for wonderful friends who remembers for me things I don't remember for myself. Gah, I wish Joey or Rachel were online nowwwwwww! I think they remember words spoken over me better than I remember them myself. Bleah, sometimes I really can't stand this poor memory of mine.
After last sunday's sermon, and after dear Joey made me think about what's my passion and calling, this song has taken on a new meaning and has been stuck in my head ever since.
Perfect Love - Hillsong United
I want to see the broken hearts
Finding hope in God above
I want to know I'm doing all I can
So with this life, with all I am
No matter what the cost may be
I pray to see Your love become our cause
I won't stop believing
You alone are
You alone are God
In You there's freedom
Your love brings me to my knees again
We're gonna bring an anthem of love
We're gonna live for You now
This perfect love I can't explain
This way of life that has no end
Your mercy satisfies, it's all I need
My purpose found in You alone
To love the lost and bring them home
That we were made to glorify our King
Your love brings me to my knees again
We're gonna bring an anthem of love
We're gonna live for You now
May Your love become our every thought
I want to learn the sound of Your heart
I want to live for You now
It's all for You
Singing You
You bring me life
You bring me hope
You're all I need
Perfect Love - Hillsong United
I want to see the broken hearts
Finding hope in God above
I want to know I'm doing all I can
So with this life, with all I am
No matter what the cost may be
I pray to see Your love become our cause
I won't stop believing
You alone are
You alone are God
In You there's freedom
Your love brings me to my knees again
We're gonna bring an anthem of love
We're gonna live for You now
This perfect love I can't explain
This way of life that has no end
Your mercy satisfies, it's all I need
My purpose found in You alone
To love the lost and bring them home
That we were made to glorify our King
Your love brings me to my knees again
We're gonna bring an anthem of love
We're gonna live for You now
May Your love become our every thought
I want to learn the sound of Your heart
I want to live for You now
It's all for You
Singing You
You bring me life
You bring me hope
You're all I need
Friday, June 27, 2008
What an experience!
For the first time in my exam life, I walked out of the hall before the time was up.
It went like this:
-Paper 2 started (the all MCQ paper) and from experience, i can normally do the paper in half of the allocated 1hr so i took my own sweet time.
-20 mins into the paper, my friend walked out of the exam hall with her bag. And i went "WHAT THE !!!!!!!!!!!!???" I had completed 13 out of 29 questions. And anyway, i didn't know we could leave once we were done.
-5 mins later, 2 more students left, leaving me as the ONLY CL B student in the whooooooooole hall of H1 and H2 Chinese, Malay, Tamil students. I was like, majorly stressed.
-10 mins later (35 mins into the paper), I walked out too.
What a terrible experience!
I was jittery from the time the first girl left and through the whole bus ride home. Ah well! I bet the whole hall must have hated us when we left. HAHAHAHAHAH! When we cleared the hall, they had only just begun paper 2. LOL.
Okay, I shall stop being mean.
Dum di di dum! At last, I officially cleared ALL my papers! :D
Do the bunny dance with me!
For the first time in my exam life, I walked out of the hall before the time was up.
It went like this:
-Paper 2 started (the all MCQ paper) and from experience, i can normally do the paper in half of the allocated 1hr so i took my own sweet time.
-20 mins into the paper, my friend walked out of the exam hall with her bag. And i went "WHAT THE !!!!!!!!!!!!???" I had completed 13 out of 29 questions. And anyway, i didn't know we could leave once we were done.
-5 mins later, 2 more students left, leaving me as the ONLY CL B student in the whooooooooole hall of H1 and H2 Chinese, Malay, Tamil students. I was like, majorly stressed.
-10 mins later (35 mins into the paper), I walked out too.
What a terrible experience!
I was jittery from the time the first girl left and through the whole bus ride home. Ah well! I bet the whole hall must have hated us when we left. HAHAHAHAHAH! When we cleared the hall, they had only just begun paper 2. LOL.
Okay, I shall stop being mean.
Dum di di dum! At last, I officially cleared ALL my papers! :D
Do the bunny dance with me!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
lalala~
After bending over a table for 15 hours, it's over at last!
Yea my back aches.
My mood went like this:
Monday :)
Tuesday :/
Wednesday :(
Since today is still wednesday, my mood is still :(
I thought Econs was depressing and bad. Then I took my math paper today which I thought would be the best. but NO. It just had to turn out utterly DIS.GUS.TING. ughhhhhhhh!
Maybe all the S-langing we did on monday diffused into my brain and paper. So much for SFs. I'll be seeing lots of S when i get back my papers.
lalala~
I'm bored.
I should be really really happy now because I've cleared my papers. But there's no one to go out with and no one online to talk to coz unlike me, the rest of the students in Singapore still have school tmr.
Yes God, I've learnt my lesson.
After bending over a table for 15 hours, it's over at last!
Yea my back aches.
My mood went like this:
Monday :)
Tuesday :/
Wednesday :(
Since today is still wednesday, my mood is still :(
I thought Econs was depressing and bad. Then I took my math paper today which I thought would be the best. but NO. It just had to turn out utterly DIS.GUS.TING. ughhhhhhhh!
Maybe all the S-langing we did on monday diffused into my brain and paper. So much for SFs. I'll be seeing lots of S when i get back my papers.
lalala~
I'm bored.
I should be really really happy now because I've cleared my papers. But there's no one to go out with and no one online to talk to coz unlike me, the rest of the students in Singapore still have school tmr.
Yes God, I've learnt my lesson.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Ramlings - to be ignored
I login to MSN and look at my nick and WHAM!
I'm struck by a sudden onslaught of anxiety attack.
NOT PREPARED NOT PREPARED NOT PREPARED!
SCREWED SCREWED SCREWED!
*BEEP BEEP BEEP* Ahhh the warning bells are sounding!
I think this is the least prepared I've ever been for any major exam. Honestly, I'm surprised by my own recent lackadaisical attitude towards my studies. I believe in 50% hardwork + 50% God's grace. So in the past, I've always just mug all the information and depended upon God's grace to show my how to apply them since results are mainly from application rather than knowledge.
Which is not surprising why alarm bells are ringing considering the fact that Physics and Geog are up on monday and I've barely touched geog. With the knowledge component lacking, even if God wanted to give me grace, He doesn't have a lot to work with.
Yea, I've just realised that this is another one of my rambling moments in which I go on in too much detail about some warp theory of mine that no one is really interested in knowing.
Sigh. So do I regret going out today?
Still no, because I wouldn't have studied even if I stayed home anyway. I know how my mind works. I should have just started earlier.
That said, I feel a little disappointed with myself. This is quite out of character for me. A not birdbird thing to do. Or at least what people would expect out of me. I'm always half-prepared, never unprepared.
At this point, there's only 2 options left for me.
1) Hope to salvage the situation by mugging through the night.
2) Study a bit, hope for the best, and face up to the consequence of my actions which in this case would most probably be bad results and penalties to be imposed by my parents. (aka, just be resigned to my fate and go and sleep)
A birdbird thing to do would be to choose option 2. And yes, that's what I'm going to do even if it sounds like I'm choosing to give up. To me, it isn't giving up but learning reality the hard way. If one scare is what it takes to stop me from ever doing this again, then I'll rather make this mistake once and never do it again than to keep trying to not make this mistake. Yea, another one of my weird concepts.
Women are hard to understand. Bird is even harder to understand. Actually, I understand myself and so I think I'm understandable, just that people have said underwise, so yea. And if Joey were reading this, yes I know I sound stupid talking about myself in third person.
Some people may say I should just study now instead of rambling here, but I think this is proving more helpful than studying straight away. It sure feels good to blog a lengthy rambling post where I sort out my thoughts as compared to whatever rubbish I've been blogging about recently. That's what I used to do, but somehow stopped. And I suspect, that is also what helped to improve my english.
Alright. Thoughts sorted.
Time to study for an hour and then go zzzzz.
zzzz.
I login to MSN and look at my nick and WHAM!
I'm struck by a sudden onslaught of anxiety attack.
NOT PREPARED NOT PREPARED NOT PREPARED!
SCREWED SCREWED SCREWED!
*BEEP BEEP BEEP* Ahhh the warning bells are sounding!
I think this is the least prepared I've ever been for any major exam. Honestly, I'm surprised by my own recent lackadaisical attitude towards my studies. I believe in 50% hardwork + 50% God's grace. So in the past, I've always just mug all the information and depended upon God's grace to show my how to apply them since results are mainly from application rather than knowledge.
Which is not surprising why alarm bells are ringing considering the fact that Physics and Geog are up on monday and I've barely touched geog. With the knowledge component lacking, even if God wanted to give me grace, He doesn't have a lot to work with.
Yea, I've just realised that this is another one of my rambling moments in which I go on in too much detail about some warp theory of mine that no one is really interested in knowing.
Sigh. So do I regret going out today?
Still no, because I wouldn't have studied even if I stayed home anyway. I know how my mind works. I should have just started earlier.
That said, I feel a little disappointed with myself. This is quite out of character for me. A not birdbird thing to do. Or at least what people would expect out of me. I'm always half-prepared, never unprepared.
At this point, there's only 2 options left for me.
1) Hope to salvage the situation by mugging through the night.
2) Study a bit, hope for the best, and face up to the consequence of my actions which in this case would most probably be bad results and penalties to be imposed by my parents. (aka, just be resigned to my fate and go and sleep)
A birdbird thing to do would be to choose option 2. And yes, that's what I'm going to do even if it sounds like I'm choosing to give up. To me, it isn't giving up but learning reality the hard way. If one scare is what it takes to stop me from ever doing this again, then I'll rather make this mistake once and never do it again than to keep trying to not make this mistake. Yea, another one of my weird concepts.
Women are hard to understand. Bird is even harder to understand. Actually, I understand myself and so I think I'm understandable, just that people have said underwise, so yea. And if Joey were reading this, yes I know I sound stupid talking about myself in third person.
Some people may say I should just study now instead of rambling here, but I think this is proving more helpful than studying straight away. It sure feels good to blog a lengthy rambling post where I sort out my thoughts as compared to whatever rubbish I've been blogging about recently. That's what I used to do, but somehow stopped. And I suspect, that is also what helped to improve my english.
Alright. Thoughts sorted.
Time to study for an hour and then go zzzzz.
zzzz.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
There's like, no one from church online now. NO ONE.
Last min mugging is proving to be more difficult than I expected. Not that I don't want to study, but my brain refuses to absorb anymore information. 4 days in a row of mugging at the CC and each day our productive period decreases. Law of diminishing marginal utility. Or is it law of diminishing returns? I still don't get the difference between the two :X
Screwed for mid-years.
Ah well. With nothing better to do, I went to flip through photo albums of the past in search of more unglam shots of everyone. It's really amusing to see how people have changed over the years. Too bad (or luckily?) the pictures are in hard copy and I'm too lazy to scan and upload them here. I saw a botak Dan in June Retreat 2001. Lol.
People come, people go. Pictures capture life at one moment.
10 years ago I was there. 5 years ago I was there. 5 years later, 10 years later, I still want my face to appear in pictures with people from church.
Last min mugging is proving to be more difficult than I expected. Not that I don't want to study, but my brain refuses to absorb anymore information. 4 days in a row of mugging at the CC and each day our productive period decreases. Law of diminishing marginal utility. Or is it law of diminishing returns? I still don't get the difference between the two :X
Screwed for mid-years.
Ah well. With nothing better to do, I went to flip through photo albums of the past in search of more unglam shots of everyone. It's really amusing to see how people have changed over the years. Too bad (or luckily?) the pictures are in hard copy and I'm too lazy to scan and upload them here. I saw a botak Dan in June Retreat 2001. Lol.
People come, people go. Pictures capture life at one moment.
10 years ago I was there. 5 years ago I was there. 5 years later, 10 years later, I still want my face to appear in pictures with people from church.
Monday, June 16, 2008
I shall stop rolling my eyes. From tonight.
It was an annoying habit I managed to get rid of but recently surfaced again due to certain reasons. No roll no roll. Rolling bad. NO GOOD!!
Sigh. Holidays are ending.
I really like this holiday. I feel like I've been restored. Things that matter have been restored.
Somewhere along the course of JC life, I lost my identity. What it means to be a Christian, what my values were. I got disconnected from the Lord, from the church, from my family. I was spiraling down, drowning in my own folly with seemingly no one to turn to, no one was aware. (with the exception of BFF)
But now I'm charged up. Values firmly in place, walk secure, relationships restored.
I love my family. That's random, but yes, I love my family. No one's perfect, we all have our imperfection, but still, I'm thankful for the family God has gifted me with.
I love my church. It's my home, it's where I know I have been called to be. And I love the people in it. Yea, my other friendships are good and fun, but still nothing comes close to being with the body.
I never understood how blessed I was till I almost lost them. Then I think of my friends out there and I sigh. You can barely begin to comprehend what you're missing out.
And so, with me made complete in Christ, I can finally start mugging in peace. Strange as it may sound, I can't study well unless I'm at peace with God.
Once I clear my books, i'll be able to say it "Yes, I'm ready for school now!"
It was an annoying habit I managed to get rid of but recently surfaced again due to certain reasons. No roll no roll. Rolling bad. NO GOOD!!
Sigh. Holidays are ending.
I really like this holiday. I feel like I've been restored. Things that matter have been restored.
Somewhere along the course of JC life, I lost my identity. What it means to be a Christian, what my values were. I got disconnected from the Lord, from the church, from my family. I was spiraling down, drowning in my own folly with seemingly no one to turn to, no one was aware. (with the exception of BFF)
But now I'm charged up. Values firmly in place, walk secure, relationships restored.
I love my family. That's random, but yes, I love my family. No one's perfect, we all have our imperfection, but still, I'm thankful for the family God has gifted me with.
I love my church. It's my home, it's where I know I have been called to be. And I love the people in it. Yea, my other friendships are good and fun, but still nothing comes close to being with the body.
I never understood how blessed I was till I almost lost them. Then I think of my friends out there and I sigh. You can barely begin to comprehend what you're missing out.
And so, with me made complete in Christ, I can finally start mugging in peace. Strange as it may sound, I can't study well unless I'm at peace with God.
Once I clear my books, i'll be able to say it "Yes, I'm ready for school now!"
Saturday, June 14, 2008
What's precious to me, is precious to the one who loves me too.
A simple truth, yet a revelation to those who had been blind.
I don't quite know what to say to describe how the camp was for me. But it did accomplish for me what I was praying it would accomplish. If I were a flower, before the camp there were a lot of weeds and thorns trying to hinder my growth. But God removed them during the camp so that I can now grow freely. Simply put, there was cleansing and restoration.
Don't really know what to say about my first time serving during june retreat either. Just that it annoys me that while I can hear the melodies in my head (how i want the music to come out), but I just can't seem to play them. I can audiate it, but my fingers don't know what to press. I still have a long way to go, and so I'm thankful for all the grace that's been given to me.
Alright.. and so it's really time to focus on my studies. Sigh.
At least I go with the confidence that He'll be with me coz really, that's all I need.
A simple truth, yet a revelation to those who had been blind.
I don't quite know what to say to describe how the camp was for me. But it did accomplish for me what I was praying it would accomplish. If I were a flower, before the camp there were a lot of weeds and thorns trying to hinder my growth. But God removed them during the camp so that I can now grow freely. Simply put, there was cleansing and restoration.
Don't really know what to say about my first time serving during june retreat either. Just that it annoys me that while I can hear the melodies in my head (how i want the music to come out), but I just can't seem to play them. I can audiate it, but my fingers don't know what to press. I still have a long way to go, and so I'm thankful for all the grace that's been given to me.
Alright.. and so it's really time to focus on my studies. Sigh.
At least I go with the confidence that He'll be with me coz really, that's all I need.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
I want to be able to play like that (00:57) someday.
It's glorious. Imagine sounds like these ringing in heaven. ooooooooooh~
The first time I heard it while watching the drama, my hair stood. Or maybe that's coz the visual effect was stunning too.
Now that I'm through with the show (sigh) I can finally focus on my studies wholeheartedly.
It's tempting to watch Jumong, but since it's 81(!!) epi long, I shall save it for the dec holidays.
Back to the dreaded books..
I miss Sujini! :'(
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Oops, I did it again!
Habits die hard eh?
My crime? Starting on an addictive korean drama just before a major exam again. And I just had to pick a 24 episode one instead of the usual 16. That's 8 hours burnt more than the previous time. Sigh.
Mugging isn't going very well either. Well at least I've started on physics. But Oscillations is proving to be a killer. I suppose that's because I only went for the 1st lecture on it and missed/ponned the rest :x
I see the symbol (w) everwhere, but the notes didn't explain what angular frequency (w) is other than the fact that w=2pie f. bleah.
New semester resolution: Don't pon lectures unnecessarily.
Go Bird! Go Bird!
Go fellow muggers!
2 weeks of holiday/mugging time left.
--
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24
Habits die hard eh?
My crime? Starting on an addictive korean drama just before a major exam again. And I just had to pick a 24 episode one instead of the usual 16. That's 8 hours burnt more than the previous time. Sigh.
Mugging isn't going very well either. Well at least I've started on physics. But Oscillations is proving to be a killer. I suppose that's because I only went for the 1st lecture on it and missed/ponned the rest :x
I see the symbol (w) everwhere, but the notes didn't explain what angular frequency (w) is other than the fact that w=2pie f. bleah.
New semester resolution: Don't pon lectures unnecessarily.
Go Bird! Go Bird!
Go fellow muggers!
2 weeks of holiday/mugging time left.
--
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
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