I am so tempted to watch all my dramas now.
I am so distracted I can't study.
I am struggling to not let go of myself now.
I am craving release from the many weeks of "Thou Shall Not"s.
GAH! I just have to go to school 4 more times and it's over. OVER OVER OVER!
4 times sounds so fast. I can't believe those 4 times are spread over 2 weeks :(
Phyics is on friday. I must get an A1. I must not screw it like chemistry. I must not be complacent. I must study, I must practice. I must do all these but I can't. Booo. I don't have the stamina left to keep pushing ahead.
God please help me.
Monday, October 29, 2007
The rain woke me up while I was in deep sleep. (it splattered on my face :/)
If what Dawn said is accurate, I would feel sleepy the whole day.
And what Dawn said is accurate. So i felt sleepy the whole day.
My brain was lagging during english paper 1 and through it all i felt like ****ing.
So it's kinda not surprising I couldn't finish my english compo let alone check it.
ENGLISH IS DOOM!!!!!
I think i'm going to get a B3 :(
On the other hand, paper 2 was quite ok and e maths was a breeze :D
Well, I shall take Pastor Mark's advice and sleep after depressing papers. Haha. Such a nice weather to take a snooze too.
8 papers down, 8 more to go.
God knows what He's doing.
I trust God.
If what Dawn said is accurate, I would feel sleepy the whole day.
And what Dawn said is accurate. So i felt sleepy the whole day.
My brain was lagging during english paper 1 and through it all i felt like ****ing.
So it's kinda not surprising I couldn't finish my english compo let alone check it.
ENGLISH IS DOOM!!!!!
I think i'm going to get a B3 :(
On the other hand, paper 2 was quite ok and e maths was a breeze :D
Well, I shall take Pastor Mark's advice and sleep after depressing papers. Haha. Such a nice weather to take a snooze too.
8 papers down, 8 more to go.
God knows what He's doing.
I trust God.
Friday, October 26, 2007
I SURVIVED.
I am alive and well.
Not really, I was sick this morning. BUT, praise God, my flu and lethargy miraculously went away in time for the paper this afternoon. Ah seriously, God has been this strong and comforting presence throughout the week. I don't know how others managed this week without him.
So how was the paper?
I went in with 1 strong topic and 1 er ok topic.
The er ok topic came out. War in Pacific.
So I had the details in my brain, but not the categories. Like the main points. Which was quite strange coz I normally have the main points but not the details. SO, i anyhow write lar. I wrote a lot of crap, but they kind of made sense so i hope the examiners buy it.
E.g. Why did the Japanese attack Pear Harbour?
One of my points:
Japan wanted to prove it's might and tatical superiority. It is known that the westerners had drawn cartoons depicting the Japanese as cross-eyed little men who could not shoot properly. As Japan was a proud nation, they felt insulted. Hence they attacked Pearl Harbour to prove to the Americans that not only were they people who could shoot properly, they could do so better than the Americans.
Quite crappy right?
I didn't write just that lar, but that's the gist of it. My answer was very very long. So you can imagine how much stuff I was making up. But it's not really lies coz there were indeed such cartoons. I've seen it before. I think it was in sec 2 history text.
Well, I think overall this week's paper were all quite okay with the exception of chemistry.
I'm really really thankful for all the help God has given me this week.
He's the BEST! i tell you!
I would swear by Him the way some people swear by Chicken essence. Actually more than that. But then again, I am not allowed to swear.
Down to english, e maths and physics.
I have very high hopes for physics.
O levels is starting to feel kinda fun. KINDA. means not really, but just.. kinda.
Time to get some proper rest after a terribly tiring week.
Ah, I do hope I can sleep well now that the scary week is over.
and indeed, the joy of the Lord has been my strength :)
I am alive and well.
Not really, I was sick this morning. BUT, praise God, my flu and lethargy miraculously went away in time for the paper this afternoon. Ah seriously, God has been this strong and comforting presence throughout the week. I don't know how others managed this week without him.
So how was the paper?
I went in with 1 strong topic and 1 er ok topic.
The er ok topic came out. War in Pacific.
So I had the details in my brain, but not the categories. Like the main points. Which was quite strange coz I normally have the main points but not the details. SO, i anyhow write lar. I wrote a lot of crap, but they kind of made sense so i hope the examiners buy it.
E.g. Why did the Japanese attack Pear Harbour?
One of my points:
Japan wanted to prove it's might and tatical superiority. It is known that the westerners had drawn cartoons depicting the Japanese as cross-eyed little men who could not shoot properly. As Japan was a proud nation, they felt insulted. Hence they attacked Pearl Harbour to prove to the Americans that not only were they people who could shoot properly, they could do so better than the Americans.
Quite crappy right?
I didn't write just that lar, but that's the gist of it. My answer was very very long. So you can imagine how much stuff I was making up. But it's not really lies coz there were indeed such cartoons. I've seen it before. I think it was in sec 2 history text.
Well, I think overall this week's paper were all quite okay with the exception of chemistry.
I'm really really thankful for all the help God has given me this week.
He's the BEST! i tell you!
I would swear by Him the way some people swear by Chicken essence. Actually more than that. But then again, I am not allowed to swear.
Down to english, e maths and physics.
I have very high hopes for physics.
O levels is starting to feel kinda fun. KINDA. means not really, but just.. kinda.
Time to get some proper rest after a terribly tiring week.
Ah, I do hope I can sleep well now that the scary week is over.
and indeed, the joy of the Lord has been my strength :)
Thursday, October 25, 2007
I AM LIBERATED!
LIBERATED I TELL YOU!
I SURVIVED GEOGRAPHY!!
means, I AM GOING TO SURVIVE THIS WEEK!
Last night I was SOOO tempted to give up on O levels.
I was totally freaking out.
Like, "Oh Crap! I never gonna finish everything on time! I CAN'T DO THIS!! I CAN'T DO THIS! I want to stop studying NOWWWWW! I'm going to get like, a B3 for everything and get 18 points! SO I SHOULD JUST GIVE UP NOOW! GIVE UP! GIVE UP!"
I felt like I was running 2.4km, and the stitches were starting to kick in. And every muscle in your body was screaming STOP! But you know if you stop, you're going to fail. Then you hear that voice in your head saying, "at the rate you're going, you're going to fail anyway. So just stop now and save yourself the trouble."
Sounds familiar?
LIES! ALL LIES!
Lies from the father of all lies.
Thank God, that by some miracle, I managed to hear the tiny small voice over all that commotion in my head that said, SHUT UP AND PRAY.
And so, I collapsed on my bed, and just let the spirit utter in groans I do not understand all that was on my mind.
Thank God that I did so.
Coz I realised how silly I was. Ah please. Those thoughts were obviously from the devil. HELLO. I AM A CHILD OF GOD. I don't take orders from the enemy.
It's quite cool that I flipped through the bible and "happened" (it's obviously the hand of God lar) to find a lot of relevant verses.
Can you believe, I actually DOUBTED GOD?
Coz He was my miracle in geog mid years and prelim. Hello. I studied ONE DAY before the exam and I did well. I was saying, God, I can't count on you to make the miracle happen again what. I'm on my own. I'M DOOMED on my own.
Ah, O level makes people do silly things.
I prayed that I would enter the hall with joy, and leave with joy.
And indeed, before I entered the hall, I was excited about the paper. God would do His miracle :D
And yes indeed, I left with JOY :D
Haha, I could do every single question I attempted. Somehow the facts just came to mind. What I studied and what I predicted came out.
Now I just hope that I had not misinterpreted the question and hope that the examiners can read my handwritting :/ I suppose most of you know how doing a pure geog paper can get.
AND SO,
I FEEL SO LIBERATED! RIGHT NOW!
The scariest paper is over!
It's so fun to blog about o levels!
It only happens once in a life time (well, it better!) and i experience such a myriad of emotions.
Aha! History tmr!
I bet all the pure hist girls are super super stressed now. At least it's half. I had like three quarter of my pure. I love geography now. Haha. I always hate it before the paper starts and love it after that coz it's really not that tough!
Well, tmr I'm only going in with 2 chapters out of 10. Let's see what happens :D
And in all things may His name be praise! :D
You set my feet to dancing
You fill my heart with joy
LIBERATED I TELL YOU!
I SURVIVED GEOGRAPHY!!
means, I AM GOING TO SURVIVE THIS WEEK!
Last night I was SOOO tempted to give up on O levels.
I was totally freaking out.
Like, "Oh Crap! I never gonna finish everything on time! I CAN'T DO THIS!! I CAN'T DO THIS! I want to stop studying NOWWWWW! I'm going to get like, a B3 for everything and get 18 points! SO I SHOULD JUST GIVE UP NOOW! GIVE UP! GIVE UP!"
I felt like I was running 2.4km, and the stitches were starting to kick in. And every muscle in your body was screaming STOP! But you know if you stop, you're going to fail. Then you hear that voice in your head saying, "at the rate you're going, you're going to fail anyway. So just stop now and save yourself the trouble."
Sounds familiar?
LIES! ALL LIES!
Lies from the father of all lies.
Thank God, that by some miracle, I managed to hear the tiny small voice over all that commotion in my head that said, SHUT UP AND PRAY.
And so, I collapsed on my bed, and just let the spirit utter in groans I do not understand all that was on my mind.
Thank God that I did so.
Coz I realised how silly I was. Ah please. Those thoughts were obviously from the devil. HELLO. I AM A CHILD OF GOD. I don't take orders from the enemy.
It's quite cool that I flipped through the bible and "happened" (it's obviously the hand of God lar) to find a lot of relevant verses.
Can you believe, I actually DOUBTED GOD?
Coz He was my miracle in geog mid years and prelim. Hello. I studied ONE DAY before the exam and I did well. I was saying, God, I can't count on you to make the miracle happen again what. I'm on my own. I'M DOOMED on my own.
Ah, O level makes people do silly things.
I prayed that I would enter the hall with joy, and leave with joy.
And indeed, before I entered the hall, I was excited about the paper. God would do His miracle :D
And yes indeed, I left with JOY :D
Haha, I could do every single question I attempted. Somehow the facts just came to mind. What I studied and what I predicted came out.
Now I just hope that I had not misinterpreted the question and hope that the examiners can read my handwritting :/ I suppose most of you know how doing a pure geog paper can get.
AND SO,
I FEEL SO LIBERATED! RIGHT NOW!
The scariest paper is over!
It's so fun to blog about o levels!
It only happens once in a life time (well, it better!) and i experience such a myriad of emotions.
Aha! History tmr!
I bet all the pure hist girls are super super stressed now. At least it's half. I had like three quarter of my pure. I love geography now. Haha. I always hate it before the paper starts and love it after that coz it's really not that tough!
Well, tmr I'm only going in with 2 chapters out of 10. Let's see what happens :D
And in all things may His name be praise! :D
You set my feet to dancing
You fill my heart with joy
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Boooo.
Chem was like ...... ....... .........
When an acid and a carbonate react, what do you get?
Carbon dioxide, water and a salt right?!
It's like sooo common sense!!!
I went to write carbonic acid and a salt! LIke !#*%#$%??
I MUST HAVE BEEN MAD.
They went to ask all the weird weird things again. Reminds me of my physics paper in prelim. Hopefully the results would be the same. HAHA!
Does not help that my school ppl found the chem paper a little tough while Shalom said her friends found the paper VERY EASY. i'm .......
Ok, doesn't matter. It's over and out of my hands.
Besides, I have a future better than any of those education alone could get me.
Ah, i have to study geog now.
I've got the heaviest combination of subject anyone could get this week.
I'm highly irritatable now.
PMS and a crappy chem paper just don't go together >(
Chem was like ...... ....... .........
When an acid and a carbonate react, what do you get?
Carbon dioxide, water and a salt right?!
It's like sooo common sense!!!
I went to write carbonic acid and a salt! LIke !#*%#$%??
I MUST HAVE BEEN MAD.
They went to ask all the weird weird things again. Reminds me of my physics paper in prelim. Hopefully the results would be the same. HAHA!
Does not help that my school ppl found the chem paper a little tough while Shalom said her friends found the paper VERY EASY. i'm .......
Ok, doesn't matter. It's over and out of my hands.
Besides, I have a future better than any of those education alone could get me.
Ah, i have to study geog now.
I've got the heaviest combination of subject anyone could get this week.
I'm highly irritatable now.
PMS and a crappy chem paper just don't go together >(
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
WHOOOOO HOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A Maths is over!
It's over it's over it's over~
I can burn all my a maths stuff now. WAHAHAHHAHAHHA!
How was the paper?
It was quite simple, but a bit tricky.
At first, I couldn't do RV (they went to combine the plane with vectors :/) and functions. I could almost make sense of what they were telling me but something was missing. So close yet so far.
So I prayed. Desperately and fervently. Let me see, Let me see!
AND I SAW!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAH!
but i think my functions got careless mistake.
BUT i still saw!
I must have looked silly in the exam hall. Closing my eyes and placing my hand on the paper in the middle of it. But who cares? I SAW!
YESSSSSSSS! Can you feel my JOOOOOOOOY!?
Ok time to mug for chemistry!
1 down and 6 more to go :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
A Maths is over!
It's over it's over it's over~
I can burn all my a maths stuff now. WAHAHAHHAHAHHA!
How was the paper?
It was quite simple, but a bit tricky.
At first, I couldn't do RV (they went to combine the plane with vectors :/) and functions. I could almost make sense of what they were telling me but something was missing. So close yet so far.
So I prayed. Desperately and fervently. Let me see, Let me see!
AND I SAW!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAH!
but i think my functions got careless mistake.
BUT i still saw!
I must have looked silly in the exam hall. Closing my eyes and placing my hand on the paper in the middle of it. But who cares? I SAW!
YESSSSSSSS! Can you feel my JOOOOOOOOY!?
Ok time to mug for chemistry!
1 down and 6 more to go :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Monday, October 22, 2007
What am i doing online on the day of my paper?!
To blog of course.
So much for closing this blog till 12 Nov.
Well, I really wanted to blog my thoughts before our written paper begain.
I don't know what others were doing the night before our A Maths paper, but I was spending a fantastic time going high in the presence of God. So high, I laid in bed for 1.5h and still couldn't sleep. But well, I came to the conclusion that there's no way I'm going to get 7 pts for O lvl on my own. In terms of prepardness: Mid-years> Prelims> O lvls
Fantastic right?
However, with God, I can! If He wanted to, He could make me score full marks for every single paper what. Last night, I felt as if He was daring me to ask for it, daring me to believe that it can happen. He made me look at my results since Sec 3 that weren't exactly pretty, but were always better than expected or deserved. What am i suppose to infer?!
Whatever it is, it's not in my hands anymore.
Responsibility + Rights = Privileges + Blessings :D
Whatever is committed into His hands, He will protect.
I love my parents, I love growing up in a Christian environment.
I think it's so cool, that we prayed together last night to commit everything into His hands. Oh, and also to commit the rest of the cell who are taking O lvls too.
I feel as if the whole church is supporting us as we battle this monster. All the prayers, well-wishes, support, teaching etc. and it's just O lvls.
Ah, I'm going to walk in later knowing that I'm not alone. There's family and friends plus God and angels with me. I'm so blessed :D
Oh oh. This morning a chain msg was going around.
"this is a gd luck chain. Send this to 10 of your friends to get >80 for all your exams if not u will be cursed. DO NOT SEND BACK. try it since its for Os!"
I was like, what the. Why try to curse ppl on the day of O lvls?! Anyway, being so high, I send a reply back asking my friend to forward it to the person who send the msg to her and so on.
"the Lord [my] God would not listen to [the person who's trying to curse us] but turned the curse into a blessing for [me] because the Lord [my] God loves [me]."
Deut 23:5
Haha, let's see whether I get "cursed" for not forwarding the msg or blessed instead.
I reckon the latter.
Seems like there's a lot on my mind before the exam.
I'm not going to make any careless mistakes later :D
And so, with my too jovial mood, I shall take the paper later.
Yes! It's starting at last!
To blog of course.
So much for closing this blog till 12 Nov.
Well, I really wanted to blog my thoughts before our written paper begain.
I don't know what others were doing the night before our A Maths paper, but I was spending a fantastic time going high in the presence of God. So high, I laid in bed for 1.5h and still couldn't sleep. But well, I came to the conclusion that there's no way I'm going to get 7 pts for O lvl on my own. In terms of prepardness: Mid-years> Prelims> O lvls
Fantastic right?
However, with God, I can! If He wanted to, He could make me score full marks for every single paper what. Last night, I felt as if He was daring me to ask for it, daring me to believe that it can happen. He made me look at my results since Sec 3 that weren't exactly pretty, but were always better than expected or deserved. What am i suppose to infer?!
Whatever it is, it's not in my hands anymore.
Responsibility + Rights = Privileges + Blessings :D
Whatever is committed into His hands, He will protect.
I love my parents, I love growing up in a Christian environment.
I think it's so cool, that we prayed together last night to commit everything into His hands. Oh, and also to commit the rest of the cell who are taking O lvls too.
I feel as if the whole church is supporting us as we battle this monster. All the prayers, well-wishes, support, teaching etc. and it's just O lvls.
Ah, I'm going to walk in later knowing that I'm not alone. There's family and friends plus God and angels with me. I'm so blessed :D
Oh oh. This morning a chain msg was going around.
"this is a gd luck chain. Send this to 10 of your friends to get >80 for all your exams if not u will be cursed. DO NOT SEND BACK. try it since its for Os!"
I was like, what the. Why try to curse ppl on the day of O lvls?! Anyway, being so high, I send a reply back asking my friend to forward it to the person who send the msg to her and so on.
"the Lord [my] God would not listen to [the person who's trying to curse us] but turned the curse into a blessing for [me] because the Lord [my] God loves [me]."
Deut 23:5
Haha, let's see whether I get "cursed" for not forwarding the msg or blessed instead.
I reckon the latter.
Seems like there's a lot on my mind before the exam.
I'm not going to make any careless mistakes later :D
And so, with my too jovial mood, I shall take the paper later.
Yes! It's starting at last!
Saturday, October 20, 2007
SECTION!
Aha! They're so sweet. And they were also the first to play me a birthday song! Awww...
Sometimes, I think they treat me better than I treat them.
Thank you my lovely juniors! Haha, just what I needed while mugging :D
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Hmm.. I wonder where I should go from here.
There are things I want to blog about but fear it's not suited to be on a blog. Well, let me start with an incident today then.
While waiting for the train to come, I brooded about things that had happened, or rather, not happen. Time passes fast when one broods, and all too soon the train was here. I stood up and walked past the list of train stops, only to realize that I've been waiting for the wrong train.
Ah, how silly!
I wonder if it symbolizes something, though I hope not.
I wonder if I should talk to someone. But it is not my way to unload my sorrows on another and dampen their day. Well, let monday come quickly then.
While we know certain facts, like how I know that God understands, knowledge doesn't keep the emotions at bay. It simply makes them bearable.
Oh, I'm not depressed. Just upset with certain stuff and taking the chance to ponder and learn about human nature and myself from the feelings it ignites. Quite interesting, really.
If asked a word to describe my Sixteenth birthday, I would say: unexpected.
In 2 days, we commence.
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