Today's thursday, and thursday is coming to an end.
Had a great time being a not-so-helpful team member running on the field with my inappropriate footwear. I felt rather strange and a little off the whole time I was there. Maybe it was because it's been a long time since I've done any kind of sports. Or maybe it was because I was surrounded by people whom I would call, the older youths. Or even maybe it's because there were so few girls. I just felt a certain part of me hiding away. Makes me realize that I don't show my true colors till I feel comfortable enough with people. Well, many ppl are that way. Anyway, all the same I had fun since it was really company that I was craving for.
It does feel good to run around knowing that something is at work as you do. I forgot about the way being in the sun makes you appreciate certain things that we often take for granted, such as having water, shade, a seat and a little breeze. Today I remembered. It sorts of reminds me of NCO camp.
Well, we then made a trip to Bishan complex to shower, followed by lunch at a coffee shop near Jon Wong's place. Reminds me a little of last year's youth camp. Was reminded some more when later on during the day, Shalom caused us to take a train in the wrong direction. We ended up at Ang Mo Kio when we were heading for Toa Payoh and Novena. Hah. Why am I not surprised?
Blah. All these memories do little to help the crappy feeling I'm having as Bible camp draws close. It helps a little knowing that it's not going to be as fun without us(HAH!), but still.. I want to go! Ahhh.. ok thou shall not whine.
Currently feeling a little.. strange.. by the fact that I'll be having the house almost to myself from sat to next next thurs. That's one and a half week. A pity that there's hardly anyone to celebrate with. Wah.. it's just going to be me in this lonely house with a brother who only pops by. Just as well that my parents can't afford to send me to study overseas coz I don't think I can survive without all the people that I so dearly love. Well, actually I can lar. I just won't like it very much. Hah. I'm a rather people person despite the fact that I'm an introvert.
Oh wells. I'm tired after a long day and there are some stuff that I need to think through while lying in bed. I bet I'll fall asleep without reaching any kind of conclusion though.
So thursday's ending and I wonder when another day like this will come.
Till then.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
I love sundays! Double happiness :D
I mean I get to go to church, learn amazing stuff about God, and chill out :D:D:D
I love playing cards!
I love laughing at everything and nothing with my friends!
Wah.. missing camp is like missing church for 4 days. Ok, i should seriously STOP thinking about it. We can always have fun and laughter after that, and I think if God really wants to make His will known, He can do so back in Singapore too. So I shall be a good girl, and stay here and go to school. But I still feel bad! ok ok. Don't think about it.
Oh man. I'm sooo gonna miss Karen and all the leaders who pamper us a bit too much. Well well, we shouldn't get too comfortable anyways. It can have negative impact.
So, while everyone is busy working or stuck in the exam hall doing their MT paper tmr, I'll be at home either watching a Korean drama, or if i'm lucky, i shall find someone to play lame MSN games with me. Wah, what a useful way of spending my time since I dropped Chinese.
Ok ok. By now you can tell that I'm kinda high from the tone I've taken for this post. HAHA. I'm just ranting coz I'm happy :D and I realise that I do lots of things with Joey. oK random.
Oh oh, before I forget. If Jon Wong or Karen ever sees this, thanks again for the ice cream treat today! I shall post the picture tmr. That's if I ever keep my word. Hah.
Smile everybody! A cheerful heart is good medicine :D:D:D:D
I mean I get to go to church, learn amazing stuff about God, and chill out :D:D:D
I love playing cards!
I love laughing at everything and nothing with my friends!
Wah.. missing camp is like missing church for 4 days. Ok, i should seriously STOP thinking about it. We can always have fun and laughter after that, and I think if God really wants to make His will known, He can do so back in Singapore too. So I shall be a good girl, and stay here and go to school. But I still feel bad! ok ok. Don't think about it.
Oh man. I'm sooo gonna miss Karen and all the leaders who pamper us a bit too much. Well well, we shouldn't get too comfortable anyways. It can have negative impact.
So, while everyone is busy working or stuck in the exam hall doing their MT paper tmr, I'll be at home either watching a Korean drama, or if i'm lucky, i shall find someone to play lame MSN games with me. Wah, what a useful way of spending my time since I dropped Chinese.
Ok ok. By now you can tell that I'm kinda high from the tone I've taken for this post. HAHA. I'm just ranting coz I'm happy :D and I realise that I do lots of things with Joey. oK random.
Oh oh, before I forget. If Jon Wong or Karen ever sees this, thanks again for the ice cream treat today! I shall post the picture tmr. That's if I ever keep my word. Hah.
Smile everybody! A cheerful heart is good medicine :D:D:D:D
Thursday, May 24, 2007
My peers have MT intensive everday after school for 2 weeks now. I get to go home at the normal time but I can't say I have spent it productively. Makes me wonder what I'm doing with my time.
So anyway, I heard an incredible story from my Chem Tutor. She said she was failing her chem from JC 1 to mid JC 2. Then she took 8 different papers, and did it 16 times. Taking into account the fact that it may have been exaggerated, I'll say that that's still a lot! She came out top in class for chem in the end I think. She also said that she did her TYS for duno wad subject 6 times. I'm like............. she's mad. Haha.
It justs goes to show that Sheer hardwork CAN get you somewhere. In fact, it may even take you further. So it's true that success is 99% hardwork and 1% talent. Or should I say, hardwork enhances whatever talent you may have to begin with? Imagine what you could be if you had the talent and put in the hardwork? But that's seldom the case. haha. My tutor said this. People have done it before and so can you. Just that the majority don't. That reminds me of what David shared. It's the minority that make it in life.
"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life."
Galatians 6:7-8
Study hard and smart.
So anyway, I heard an incredible story from my Chem Tutor. She said she was failing her chem from JC 1 to mid JC 2. Then she took 8 different papers, and did it 16 times. Taking into account the fact that it may have been exaggerated, I'll say that that's still a lot! She came out top in class for chem in the end I think. She also said that she did her TYS for duno wad subject 6 times. I'm like............. she's mad. Haha.
It justs goes to show that Sheer hardwork CAN get you somewhere. In fact, it may even take you further. So it's true that success is 99% hardwork and 1% talent. Or should I say, hardwork enhances whatever talent you may have to begin with? Imagine what you could be if you had the talent and put in the hardwork? But that's seldom the case. haha. My tutor said this. People have done it before and so can you. Just that the majority don't. That reminds me of what David shared. It's the minority that make it in life.
"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life."
Galatians 6:7-8
Study hard and smart.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
I'm lazy to photo blog today. Besides, the photos are in 3 different camera, not including my phone. Hay Dairies for tmr.
So RESULTS!!!
Not bad lar.
Thank God! Seriously. Not just an expression, but Thank God!
The results are better than I feared, the grades I expected, but the way it was achieved was kind of surprising. Not sure how it happened, considering the fact that I finished a whole Korean drama during the exam period and sort of gave up for certain subjects. Plus it's mid-years and I'm just your average slacker. I guessed I heard God's persistent call to study enough to get that fairly decent score. Thank God for hounding me and making me feel so guilty. He's kind of like my study buddy. Hah! :D
Amid all the hoo-ha that's been generated because of mid-years, I still recognize that there are more important things in life. Hmm.. maybe I should go around asking ppl what they think is the most important thing in life. The responses should be quite interesting. Hah. But anyway, while studies are important for survival or success in the physical world, the Word of God is also essential for survival and success in the spiritual world. So shouldn't we be putting at least some effort into bible study if not an equal one? If we're not that makes us a rather not so well balanced person. (I'm guilty :x)
A point a friend brought up before was that do Christians have an advantage over others in studies? Now that I think about it, Yes. Though others may not believe so and though the differences may not be obvious. But yes. And I shall try to show it to you during the next exam. Unfair? Nope. You can't blame ppl for responding to the ad in the newspaper that says 'freebies for all.' But neither can you blame the ppl who have never seen the ad. Well, so it's up to us to show the ad to those ppl right?
Right. Back to the point on studies. (I think i'm quite long-winded and naggy, and a tad too moralistic. I've heard that abt my compo before :/) Well God made a difference to me in this exam, and I really want to thank Him for it. And all the ppl who have helped me in my studies too! Such nice ppl :D Haha.
Yay! Secondary school life is almost over. Just half a year more to go.
I pray my stamina lasts long enough.
So RESULTS!!!
Not bad lar.
Thank God! Seriously. Not just an expression, but Thank God!
The results are better than I feared, the grades I expected, but the way it was achieved was kind of surprising. Not sure how it happened, considering the fact that I finished a whole Korean drama during the exam period and sort of gave up for certain subjects. Plus it's mid-years and I'm just your average slacker. I guessed I heard God's persistent call to study enough to get that fairly decent score. Thank God for hounding me and making me feel so guilty. He's kind of like my study buddy. Hah! :D
Amid all the hoo-ha that's been generated because of mid-years, I still recognize that there are more important things in life. Hmm.. maybe I should go around asking ppl what they think is the most important thing in life. The responses should be quite interesting. Hah. But anyway, while studies are important for survival or success in the physical world, the Word of God is also essential for survival and success in the spiritual world. So shouldn't we be putting at least some effort into bible study if not an equal one? If we're not that makes us a rather not so well balanced person. (I'm guilty :x)
A point a friend brought up before was that do Christians have an advantage over others in studies? Now that I think about it, Yes. Though others may not believe so and though the differences may not be obvious. But yes. And I shall try to show it to you during the next exam. Unfair? Nope. You can't blame ppl for responding to the ad in the newspaper that says 'freebies for all.' But neither can you blame the ppl who have never seen the ad. Well, so it's up to us to show the ad to those ppl right?
Right. Back to the point on studies. (I think i'm quite long-winded and naggy, and a tad too moralistic. I've heard that abt my compo before :/) Well God made a difference to me in this exam, and I really want to thank Him for it. And all the ppl who have helped me in my studies too! Such nice ppl :D Haha.
Yay! Secondary school life is almost over. Just half a year more to go.
I pray my stamina lasts long enough.
Monday, May 21, 2007
There are a couple of things I want to blog about. But I shall save my results and the secell excursion for tmr. For today, I want to blog about what happen over the weekend.
After a week of wasting my time away, I decided to heed the voice that kept telling me to read the Bible. Well, it was partly because I felt a sudden urgent need to get grounded in the word of God while walking home on friday. I started to read the book of revelation in which I came to a conclusion that I'm right about the need to get grounded in the Word of God, for I would not dare to be caught in the situation it described without my sword. Always, I was concious of the contrast between those who were under the covering of God, and those of weren't. My oh my, it's terrible if you're not. I would not be caught dead with the beast's mark on me.
That's friday. On Saturday, I decided to pick up the book "Just like Jesus" by Max Lucado which i had not done so for a long time. What I read, totally changed my perspective of God. It brought out 2 qns,
- How long has it been since you let God have you?
- How long since you let God love you?
None of which has been recent for me. And then it quoted a wonderful verse.
The Lord your God is with you; the mighty One will save you. He will rejoice over you. You will rest in his love; he will sing and be joyful about you.
Zephaniah 3:17
Note who is active and who is passive. Who is singing and who is resting? Read it again. Now shouldn't you be squirming? After all we aren't worthy of such affection. But it's there all the same.
Reading that brought me to tears. I've never seen this side to God. I must conclude that I had a wonderful time alone with God that night. Before I slept I wondered whether Satan would be screaming coz he lost his hold over me again. All the same, I slept. And I dreamt. And what horrible dreams there were.
I dreamt that there was a huge storm at my house (like the recent ones) and I cowered in bed. I dreamt that an evil spirit hovered at my window and mocked me. I dreamt that I could not seek help for I failed when I tried to call Joey. I dreamt and I dreamt. Through it all, I was conscious that it was a dream and I had to keep awake. But each time I manage to reach some form of awareness, I would fall back into sleep again. (which was why I couldn't call joey. I dreamt that I fell asleep while calling her. Hah.)
It was quite frightening really. When I finally forced myself awake (coz my mom was talking rather loudly), it was a huge relief, but I feared sleep. My dad had to pray for me, and I had to switch on some Christian music before I could go back to sleep. Even last night, I was still a little afraid.
But well, this is still not the main point of this entry. Actually, I'm not quite sure what IS the point. But I just feel like recording down all this oddities.
That was Saturday night. Here comes Sunday.
David talked about harvest, and then 1st gen and 2nd gen christians. Well, and then there was ministration for the 2nd gen christians who wanted the IT. So I went up, though I was feeling pretty pleased with the direction my walk with God has been heading. And up there, I felt a reiteration of the point I gained from the book. This time stronger and with references to what I had read in Revelation and what happen the night before.
"You are MINE. No one else holds, nor can hold claim over you except me. You belong by my side, in my presence. You do not bear the mark of the beast nor his number on your forehead or your arm. But you bear the mark of Christ for you have been sealed with the Holy Spirit. That's my stamp. That's your place. That's your identity. Don't get deceived by the enemy. Don't forget your identity. A child of God, of royal priesthood. And this love i have for you, this fierce fierce love that makes my heart wanna burst, is an everlasting love. Now remain and hold fast to that love."
Something like that lar. God, pls don't hold it against me if i messed up certain parts.
But Wah! How cool right? My heart nearly died with that knowledge. Oh oh OH! The best part was, that msg applies not just to me, but to EVERY CHILD OF GOD. Just that it's especially special to me coz I find it hard to love and be loved. So to know that there's someone who can love me that way and who wants me more than I could ever want Him ... Wow.
Haha. So I've come to the main point of the post. It's to record that message. And to tell anyone else who wishes to hear. If anyone has an ear, let him hear.
So I begin a new season, a new begining!
After a week of wasting my time away, I decided to heed the voice that kept telling me to read the Bible. Well, it was partly because I felt a sudden urgent need to get grounded in the word of God while walking home on friday. I started to read the book of revelation in which I came to a conclusion that I'm right about the need to get grounded in the Word of God, for I would not dare to be caught in the situation it described without my sword. Always, I was concious of the contrast between those who were under the covering of God, and those of weren't. My oh my, it's terrible if you're not. I would not be caught dead with the beast's mark on me.
That's friday. On Saturday, I decided to pick up the book "Just like Jesus" by Max Lucado which i had not done so for a long time. What I read, totally changed my perspective of God. It brought out 2 qns,
- How long has it been since you let God have you?
- How long since you let God love you?
None of which has been recent for me. And then it quoted a wonderful verse.
The Lord your God is with you; the mighty One will save you. He will rejoice over you. You will rest in his love; he will sing and be joyful about you.
Zephaniah 3:17
Note who is active and who is passive. Who is singing and who is resting? Read it again. Now shouldn't you be squirming? After all we aren't worthy of such affection. But it's there all the same.
Reading that brought me to tears. I've never seen this side to God. I must conclude that I had a wonderful time alone with God that night. Before I slept I wondered whether Satan would be screaming coz he lost his hold over me again. All the same, I slept. And I dreamt. And what horrible dreams there were.
I dreamt that there was a huge storm at my house (like the recent ones) and I cowered in bed. I dreamt that an evil spirit hovered at my window and mocked me. I dreamt that I could not seek help for I failed when I tried to call Joey. I dreamt and I dreamt. Through it all, I was conscious that it was a dream and I had to keep awake. But each time I manage to reach some form of awareness, I would fall back into sleep again. (which was why I couldn't call joey. I dreamt that I fell asleep while calling her. Hah.)
It was quite frightening really. When I finally forced myself awake (coz my mom was talking rather loudly), it was a huge relief, but I feared sleep. My dad had to pray for me, and I had to switch on some Christian music before I could go back to sleep. Even last night, I was still a little afraid.
But well, this is still not the main point of this entry. Actually, I'm not quite sure what IS the point. But I just feel like recording down all this oddities.
That was Saturday night. Here comes Sunday.
David talked about harvest, and then 1st gen and 2nd gen christians. Well, and then there was ministration for the 2nd gen christians who wanted the IT. So I went up, though I was feeling pretty pleased with the direction my walk with God has been heading. And up there, I felt a reiteration of the point I gained from the book. This time stronger and with references to what I had read in Revelation and what happen the night before.
"You are MINE. No one else holds, nor can hold claim over you except me. You belong by my side, in my presence. You do not bear the mark of the beast nor his number on your forehead or your arm. But you bear the mark of Christ for you have been sealed with the Holy Spirit. That's my stamp. That's your place. That's your identity. Don't get deceived by the enemy. Don't forget your identity. A child of God, of royal priesthood. And this love i have for you, this fierce fierce love that makes my heart wanna burst, is an everlasting love. Now remain and hold fast to that love."
Something like that lar. God, pls don't hold it against me if i messed up certain parts.
But Wah! How cool right? My heart nearly died with that knowledge. Oh oh OH! The best part was, that msg applies not just to me, but to EVERY CHILD OF GOD. Just that it's especially special to me coz I find it hard to love and be loved. So to know that there's someone who can love me that way and who wants me more than I could ever want Him ... Wow.
Haha. So I've come to the main point of the post. It's to record that message. And to tell anyone else who wishes to hear. If anyone has an ear, let him hear.
So I begin a new season, a new begining!
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Beautiful skies are here again.
As always, it's taken from my house laundry area. And as always, watching the sun set would leave me with a sense of peace and a hope for tmr. The quiet magnificence that often goes unnoticed by the masses as they rush from place to place, caught up in the rat race of the world.
I don't want to be like that. And I don't want to choose my next step based on what I want or what others want out of me. I want to be the minority. I want to be able to explain my choice with the knowledge that the one who created that grandeur is part and parcel of my final answer. That's the very thing that I keep forgetting although people have reminded me time and time again.
So it's time to start praying and stop playing so much. We all know the TYS answer but we don't do it. Who's to be blame then, no one but ourselves. May each sunset remind me of that then. Such that I'll never forget and rmb to pray each day.
The clouds look like an island up in the sky where a
brilliant being resides.
As always, it's taken from my house laundry area. And as always, watching the sun set would leave me with a sense of peace and a hope for tmr. The quiet magnificence that often goes unnoticed by the masses as they rush from place to place, caught up in the rat race of the world.
I don't want to be like that. And I don't want to choose my next step based on what I want or what others want out of me. I want to be the minority. I want to be able to explain my choice with the knowledge that the one who created that grandeur is part and parcel of my final answer. That's the very thing that I keep forgetting although people have reminded me time and time again.
So it's time to start praying and stop playing so much. We all know the TYS answer but we don't do it. Who's to be blame then, no one but ourselves. May each sunset remind me of that then. Such that I'll never forget and rmb to pray each day.
The clouds look like an island up in the sky where abrilliant being resides.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I need to laugh.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I need to laugh.
Monday, May 14, 2007
A day out with girlfriends.
It seems like it's been a long time since we've had a girls only day out. Joey wanted us to spend it meaningfully, but we ended up playing Shanghai at her house. We reached 6 kinds. Hah. Some things never change. I think our (maybe only mine) love for card games started many years ago during a Bible camp when i was P2 or P3. I still remember the very first game I learnt was Big 2. And every single chance we got, we would play it. Then came thrash, followed by Shanghai and then bridge. Fond memories :)
Wah.. I'm going to miss this year's Bible camp. No chance to play card game through the night! >.< Haha.
So anyway, we went to watched Spiderman 3 followed by routine neoprint session. And then we took tons of pictures with my phone. See below. The cream of the crop. No lar. Just the wacky ones.
I came to a conclusion that our church is full of lamers. It's hard to think of a youth that you can safely conclude isn't a lamer. Even the adults can be quite lame. HAHA. Ok random.
It's times like today that once again make me realise how blessed I am. Not many people can claim to have friendships like those I have. We are only 16 and yet our history is of considerable length. It's amazing to see how God has carried us thus far. How He deepened our friendship from one that is only of a superficial level, to one that is more than just that. I still think that there's an amazing plan prepared for us. Though I don't know the details yet, there is one. We'll just have to wait for Him to unfold His plans.
I rmb how we always complained and think that we're all that. Upon reflection, we are still always complaining and thinking that we're all that. Some things REALLY NEVER CHANGE. Haha.
What more can I say?
Thank you Lord.
---
The little pigs came to town.
Tried to be someone they're not.
They imitated birds. HAH.
Act sexy .... ?
Tried to die Happy by killing each other.
Attempted to eat their fists.
Imitate spiderman.
(Can you identify the drawings?)
Enlarge their faces.
Then they decided to have fun.
The end.
It seems like it's been a long time since we've had a girls only day out. Joey wanted us to spend it meaningfully, but we ended up playing Shanghai at her house. We reached 6 kinds. Hah. Some things never change. I think our (maybe only mine) love for card games started many years ago during a Bible camp when i was P2 or P3. I still remember the very first game I learnt was Big 2. And every single chance we got, we would play it. Then came thrash, followed by Shanghai and then bridge. Fond memories :)
Wah.. I'm going to miss this year's Bible camp. No chance to play card game through the night! >.< Haha.
So anyway, we went to watched Spiderman 3 followed by routine neoprint session. And then we took tons of pictures with my phone. See below. The cream of the crop. No lar. Just the wacky ones.
I came to a conclusion that our church is full of lamers. It's hard to think of a youth that you can safely conclude isn't a lamer. Even the adults can be quite lame. HAHA. Ok random.
It's times like today that once again make me realise how blessed I am. Not many people can claim to have friendships like those I have. We are only 16 and yet our history is of considerable length. It's amazing to see how God has carried us thus far. How He deepened our friendship from one that is only of a superficial level, to one that is more than just that. I still think that there's an amazing plan prepared for us. Though I don't know the details yet, there is one. We'll just have to wait for Him to unfold His plans.
I rmb how we always complained and think that we're all that. Upon reflection, we are still always complaining and thinking that we're all that. Some things REALLY NEVER CHANGE. Haha.
What more can I say?
Thank you Lord.
---
The little pigs came to town.
Tried to be someone they're not.
They imitated birds. HAH.
Act sexy .... ?
Tried to die Happy by killing each other.
Attempted to eat their fists.
Imitate spiderman.
(Can you identify the drawings?)
Enlarge their faces.
Then they decided to have fun.
The end.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
A rather fruitful day at church.
There was much sharing and a couple of things learnt in today's Masterlife discussion. Possibly because we were on the Mastering your emotions week. And despite what people say about girls being more emotional than guys, everyone still struggles with their emotions.
A point brought up was that youths these days are more "emo" possibly because we are more self-centered. It's always, Listen to me. I'm upset. Don't you care about ME?
And we do not stop to consider how our rants may affect those who are listening to it. Like it or not, it WILL affect - In some way or another. And when you are sober, you often find yourself with regrets. But words spoken can't be taken back. You could be spreading your negative feelings like anger which could result in wounds and disunity. Such as I have learnt firsthand. An important point for me to note since I have a tendency to rant on my blog. The worst place you can ever rant. We shouldn't just think about our own feelings, our need to express but also consider the feelings of others.
A question I brought up was that when caught in a situation in which someone upsets you, do you first deal with the emotion then come back to confront the person, or just settle the emotion and let it go?
David answered it with a beautiful insight that I summed up with "Don't focus on the dumbell. Focus on the growth that's taking place." That way you won't really have to make that decision in the first place. Also consider why you're upset. Is it because of your pride, your reputation? I guess for me that's often the case. I'm too proud for my own good.
Joey ended it off with a verse that has taken on new meaning after the sharing.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, andsat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Romans 12:1-3
The affairs of the heart have much power. All the more we should learn to master it. It ain't easy but I thank God for I know He will help me.
There was much sharing and a couple of things learnt in today's Masterlife discussion. Possibly because we were on the Mastering your emotions week. And despite what people say about girls being more emotional than guys, everyone still struggles with their emotions.
A point brought up was that youths these days are more "emo" possibly because we are more self-centered. It's always, Listen to me. I'm upset. Don't you care about ME?
And we do not stop to consider how our rants may affect those who are listening to it. Like it or not, it WILL affect - In some way or another. And when you are sober, you often find yourself with regrets. But words spoken can't be taken back. You could be spreading your negative feelings like anger which could result in wounds and disunity. Such as I have learnt firsthand. An important point for me to note since I have a tendency to rant on my blog. The worst place you can ever rant. We shouldn't just think about our own feelings, our need to express but also consider the feelings of others.
A question I brought up was that when caught in a situation in which someone upsets you, do you first deal with the emotion then come back to confront the person, or just settle the emotion and let it go?
David answered it with a beautiful insight that I summed up with "Don't focus on the dumbell. Focus on the growth that's taking place." That way you won't really have to make that decision in the first place. Also consider why you're upset. Is it because of your pride, your reputation? I guess for me that's often the case. I'm too proud for my own good.
Joey ended it off with a verse that has taken on new meaning after the sharing.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, andsat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Romans 12:1-3
The affairs of the heart have much power. All the more we should learn to master it. It ain't easy but I thank God for I know He will help me.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
The blog's gotten too wordy. So here's some pictures taken not so long ago. Except for the last one. I would like to call it the spasm collection, but really, there are more photos that are worse than this. It's times like these that make you feel nostalgic.
Joey. On the way to East Coast.
I can't rmb whose hand is that. Hah.
Rachel and Jere.
O.O
Sha-HI-ra!
A more glam shot. She looks like she's having lots of fun.
Rah. This is not a spasm shot. But I miss shahira.
My section! There's a more retarded one but I have yet to get it from Joanne.
[edit]
I just kop it off her blog. Hah. SPASM!
[/edit]
A personal favourite.
I miss Cheryl.
Joey. On the way to East Coast.I can't rmb whose hand is that. Hah.Rachel and Jere.O.OSha-HI-ra!A more glam shot. She looks like she's having lots of fun.Rah. This is not a spasm shot. But I miss shahira.My section! There's a more retarded one but I have yet to get it from Joanne.[edit]
I just kop it off her blog. Hah. SPASM![/edit]
A personal favourite.I miss Cheryl.
Mid-Years are finally over!!!!
And i'm here to give an obligatory post despite my heavy eyes.
I did not last. This whole week, I opened my books but never had the heart to study. I'm as good as a goner. Despite this, there are still many things to thank God for. I thank Him for every qns that I spotted a careless mistake, I thank Him for seeing me through the exams, I thank Him for giving me wonderful parents who do not pressurize me unneccessarily. I thank Him for the exams itself and for always opening my eyes to see the other side of things.
I probably could have done better, but I know I definitely did not slack off no matter what others may think. You may reap more than what you have put in, but you can never reap what you never put in.
On to other things.
Today, my parents had quite a scare when they received news of 2 planes that crash in Taiwan airbase. There were 2 Singaporean casulty and 2(then) were injured. As there was no news of my brother, obviously they were worried. Morbid thoughts filtered through my mind as we prayed for my brother. But once they got info that my bro's batch wasn't suppose to be at base at that point of time, I figured chances are my brother doesn't even know about the plane crash though he's in Taiwan. Hah. My parents were still rather worried though until he finally called home around 7+pm. I thank God all the same for watching over him. I can't imagine him dead. Shudders.
As I start to serve in church again, I regret having given in to the pressure and take a break from piano. If i had not stopped, I would have finished my grade 8 long ago. Unless I go to poly, I'm not going to have an easier time finishing it even though band's over. It makes me think about my mom, her years of experience and wisdom. You know how we often think we know what we want and what's good for us? Esp at this age. But really, parent's often know better. She told me not to stop. I kicked up a storm. She relented. But always with a "you sure ah? You're not going to regret this ah?" last attempt at dissuading me. Same for CLB. I wished I only dropped it this year, instead of last year. I can really feel my standard of chinese going down the drain. She warned me. Her predictions came true again. Indeed, parents do know better.
No wonder rules are there to protect us.
Commandment number 5. Honor your father and mother.
See, this is what you get when you don't. Haiz.
And i'm here to give an obligatory post despite my heavy eyes.
I did not last. This whole week, I opened my books but never had the heart to study. I'm as good as a goner. Despite this, there are still many things to thank God for. I thank Him for every qns that I spotted a careless mistake, I thank Him for seeing me through the exams, I thank Him for giving me wonderful parents who do not pressurize me unneccessarily. I thank Him for the exams itself and for always opening my eyes to see the other side of things.
I probably could have done better, but I know I definitely did not slack off no matter what others may think. You may reap more than what you have put in, but you can never reap what you never put in.
On to other things.
Today, my parents had quite a scare when they received news of 2 planes that crash in Taiwan airbase. There were 2 Singaporean casulty and 2(then) were injured. As there was no news of my brother, obviously they were worried. Morbid thoughts filtered through my mind as we prayed for my brother. But once they got info that my bro's batch wasn't suppose to be at base at that point of time, I figured chances are my brother doesn't even know about the plane crash though he's in Taiwan. Hah. My parents were still rather worried though until he finally called home around 7+pm. I thank God all the same for watching over him. I can't imagine him dead. Shudders.
As I start to serve in church again, I regret having given in to the pressure and take a break from piano. If i had not stopped, I would have finished my grade 8 long ago. Unless I go to poly, I'm not going to have an easier time finishing it even though band's over. It makes me think about my mom, her years of experience and wisdom. You know how we often think we know what we want and what's good for us? Esp at this age. But really, parent's often know better. She told me not to stop. I kicked up a storm. She relented. But always with a "you sure ah? You're not going to regret this ah?" last attempt at dissuading me. Same for CLB. I wished I only dropped it this year, instead of last year. I can really feel my standard of chinese going down the drain. She warned me. Her predictions came true again. Indeed, parents do know better.
No wonder rules are there to protect us.
Commandment number 5. Honor your father and mother.
See, this is what you get when you don't. Haiz.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Halfway through the exams and already I've lost the stamina to study.
I'm prepared to get bad grades since I know my preparation was inadequate.
This round of exams has brought a scary fact to my notice. Maybe it's because we are sec 4s and getting closer to our Os, but somehow, I'm begining to sense this desire to be 'RIGHT' or 'Smart' among many people. Competition. Myself included. It's disgusting.
It's like we're trying to jab each other in order for us to feel better about ourselves. Here's a typical scenario. It starts with a Hey, what topic/chapter did you study? A comparison arises. The tricky part is when the topic studied differs. Then the jabbing starts. Statements like "It WON'T come out lar. I'm CERTAIN." are often said with a 'hey you're kinda dumb' tone to it. Obviously the poor girl who studied that topic and heard that on the day of the exam itself would be devasted and kinda hurt by the undertone. Here comes part 2. That topic comes out in the end. That now lucky girl will try to inflict a little pain by rubbing in how she was so prepared for it or lucky that what she studied came out or how she crapped out the right answer.
Both parties are left feeling a little sore.
It's dumb. And I'm ashamed to say I've been on both sides before. The one who started putting down, and the one who tries to rub it in. Competition has made a monster out of us. Out of me. It makes me wonder how can we be so totally insensitive to the feelings of others.
I think it arises from all the pressure that parent's and the society has placed upon us. You need the grades if you want a bright future, so we are told. And we plan and plan for our future. Just like how Joey and I like to talk about the future. Somehow, the future always looks better. Or so we think. But yesterday's events brought my dreams to a crashing stop.
The tornado that wrecked such havoc it was described as looking like Japan after the atomic bomb. Now that's bad. It reminds me that we can plan all we want but there are many things we can't control. Imagine lying down in bed one night having almost everything you wanted and waking up the next day to find yourself having nothing. And there's no one to blame. I think even people can't really blame God for natural disasters anymore. The climate is changing and it's obviously our fault.
Well that's one reason. We try to plan out our lives on our own but we often forget that there's already a plan for our lives by someone far greater. While it is still necessary to look ahead once in awhile to plan, I think there's limit to it. Looking excessively ahead at the future would do no one any good. More often than not, things don't live up to our expectations anyway. The key is remembering that we already have a Master Planner planning for us. I don't know about anyone else, but I'll rather take His plan over mine anything.
To end off, here's something I've been pondering about.
When you claim you're mature, it makes you immature.
When you claim you're humble, it makes you proud.
When you claim you're smart, it makes you look dumb.
When you claim you're wise, it makes you look foolish.
When you claim you're good looking, it makes you look ugly in the eyes of others.
Even if what you claim is true, others would think otherwise the moment you claim so.
How ironic.
I'm prepared to get bad grades since I know my preparation was inadequate.
This round of exams has brought a scary fact to my notice. Maybe it's because we are sec 4s and getting closer to our Os, but somehow, I'm begining to sense this desire to be 'RIGHT' or 'Smart' among many people. Competition. Myself included. It's disgusting.
It's like we're trying to jab each other in order for us to feel better about ourselves. Here's a typical scenario. It starts with a Hey, what topic/chapter did you study? A comparison arises. The tricky part is when the topic studied differs. Then the jabbing starts. Statements like "It WON'T come out lar. I'm CERTAIN." are often said with a 'hey you're kinda dumb' tone to it. Obviously the poor girl who studied that topic and heard that on the day of the exam itself would be devasted and kinda hurt by the undertone. Here comes part 2. That topic comes out in the end. That now lucky girl will try to inflict a little pain by rubbing in how she was so prepared for it or lucky that what she studied came out or how she crapped out the right answer.
Both parties are left feeling a little sore.
It's dumb. And I'm ashamed to say I've been on both sides before. The one who started putting down, and the one who tries to rub it in. Competition has made a monster out of us. Out of me. It makes me wonder how can we be so totally insensitive to the feelings of others.
I think it arises from all the pressure that parent's and the society has placed upon us. You need the grades if you want a bright future, so we are told. And we plan and plan for our future. Just like how Joey and I like to talk about the future. Somehow, the future always looks better. Or so we think. But yesterday's events brought my dreams to a crashing stop.
The tornado that wrecked such havoc it was described as looking like Japan after the atomic bomb. Now that's bad. It reminds me that we can plan all we want but there are many things we can't control. Imagine lying down in bed one night having almost everything you wanted and waking up the next day to find yourself having nothing. And there's no one to blame. I think even people can't really blame God for natural disasters anymore. The climate is changing and it's obviously our fault.
Well that's one reason. We try to plan out our lives on our own but we often forget that there's already a plan for our lives by someone far greater. While it is still necessary to look ahead once in awhile to plan, I think there's limit to it. Looking excessively ahead at the future would do no one any good. More often than not, things don't live up to our expectations anyway. The key is remembering that we already have a Master Planner planning for us. I don't know about anyone else, but I'll rather take His plan over mine anything.
To end off, here's something I've been pondering about.
When you claim you're mature, it makes you immature.
When you claim you're humble, it makes you proud.
When you claim you're smart, it makes you look dumb.
When you claim you're wise, it makes you look foolish.
When you claim you're good looking, it makes you look ugly in the eyes of others.
Even if what you claim is true, others would think otherwise the moment you claim so.
How ironic.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
The storms frighten me and I seek comfort in God.
How could God love someone like me? That I'll never understand. Surely He sees my heart and reads it clearer than anyone ever could. If man can see the ugly side of me and walk away, and even I can cringe at my thoughts, what more God?
It's always a struggle to walk right with God. One hand alone is not enough to count the number of times I'll drift away from Him after getting so caught up in the world. I am still, but a worldly christian with my door to the flesh still open. Doing masterlife let me sees that.
Still, I always find Him willing to forgive me, if I would first forgive myself and ask Him for forgiveness.
Somehow, I've gotten use to an empty stomach. From the end of last year till now, I stopped hungering. But no more. I've yet to reach that place where I can walk around always knowing that God is with me. Where I can see the Father's heart for the people and look at the world as He would. I want to reach that place.
Sometimes I wonder if I should close this blog. Tired of the gaining publicity it has. After all, there's bound to be many misunderstandings. Since I can count the no. of ppl who actually knows how I'm really like on one hand. But that's not such a sad thing, since in the world, there are actually many many ppl who no one really knows. They all just hide behind a facade.
Then I would think abt the purpose of the blog again. It's always my hope that someone reading it would ponder more about God after reading it. I admit that that hasn't really been the case for the longest time, so caught up in the flurry of activities I had was I. But I'll start again. Show how God appears to a girl who has yet to experience the world. A little immature and a little proud prehaps. But all the same hoping that God has some purpose beyond what she can understand.
I rmb how I told a friend that we are made in the image of God because no other creature has a pair of eyes, nose, mouth and ears plus limbs placed in the arrangment such as ours. Hah. How foolish. Oh well, we all grow.
How could God love someone like me? That I'll never understand. Surely He sees my heart and reads it clearer than anyone ever could. If man can see the ugly side of me and walk away, and even I can cringe at my thoughts, what more God?
It's always a struggle to walk right with God. One hand alone is not enough to count the number of times I'll drift away from Him after getting so caught up in the world. I am still, but a worldly christian with my door to the flesh still open. Doing masterlife let me sees that.
Still, I always find Him willing to forgive me, if I would first forgive myself and ask Him for forgiveness.
Somehow, I've gotten use to an empty stomach. From the end of last year till now, I stopped hungering. But no more. I've yet to reach that place where I can walk around always knowing that God is with me. Where I can see the Father's heart for the people and look at the world as He would. I want to reach that place.
Sometimes I wonder if I should close this blog. Tired of the gaining publicity it has. After all, there's bound to be many misunderstandings. Since I can count the no. of ppl who actually knows how I'm really like on one hand. But that's not such a sad thing, since in the world, there are actually many many ppl who no one really knows. They all just hide behind a facade.
Then I would think abt the purpose of the blog again. It's always my hope that someone reading it would ponder more about God after reading it. I admit that that hasn't really been the case for the longest time, so caught up in the flurry of activities I had was I. But I'll start again. Show how God appears to a girl who has yet to experience the world. A little immature and a little proud prehaps. But all the same hoping that God has some purpose beyond what she can understand.
I rmb how I told a friend that we are made in the image of God because no other creature has a pair of eyes, nose, mouth and ears plus limbs placed in the arrangment such as ours. Hah. How foolish. Oh well, we all grow.
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