Time to put things behind and move on.
I'm contemplating creating another blog. This blog takes too long to load when I want to blog because of it's huge archive. This is the 418th post.
I'm in the midst of my exams. Looking at the way i've been spending my time, I think I'm going to pay dearly for it. I think what Dan shared today is a good reminder. Some how I've lost my motivation to study because I lost my reason for studying. I studied coz I didn't want to let my parents down or because I didn't want ppl to think I'm stupid. Now, that's being stupid.
The best way, is to study for God. For His glory.
It reminds me once again, of what a guest speaker once said to me. Live for God. Don't get weighed down by your parent's expectation or the world's expectation of you. Just worry abt and be focused on living for God. It applies to our studies yea.
The sermons recently about the body of Christ got me thinking about where I fit in. Somehow, I'm begining to think that what the DISC test I did in sec 2 said about me is true. I perceive myself to be an I, but really, I'm a S. I was pretty surprised that when Pastor Mark talked to the 4 of us today, he said I had a gentle spirit. Now that's a word I never thought would be used to describe me. Gentle? People who don't know me well would be raising their eyebrows now. I know many guys who would. HAH.
But when I think about it, when I think about all my thoughts that ppl rarely get to know, it doesn't sound all that ridiculous after all. A little queer maybe, but not ridiculous. Maybe it's time for me to stop putting on a strong front.
Thinking about the body of Christ, I'm really thankful to God for placing so many wonderful ppl around me. Truly, they teach me many things. Even in our squabbles.
I can only give a wry smile and say God works in everything.
To a wonderful journey in life :D
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Aiyo aiyo.
The complexity of communication never cease to amaze or shock me.
It's no wonder that studies have shown that people interprete what a person is trying to say based on 3 parts body language, 2 parts tone and 1 part on the actual words.
Not surprising that misunderstandings often occur when trying to communicate through the many different mediums science has brought to us today.
A clarification for all, since you could only see 1 part of my real intention.
The post, was not to put other bands down, or to cheapen the achievements of other band.
The purpose of that post, was for me to vent my frustration at our silliness so that I can laugh over it, and get on with life. It was not written in response to the nasty stuff people have been saying abt SMSB or to degrade others so I feel better abt myself.
I never expected other ppl to read my blog and hence I never bothered to explain the unspoken stuff that my friends (who were my target audience) would understand.
We didn't get a Gold because we were nervous. Which in my opinion, is such a waste. And we were nervous, because we did something that was out of the ordinary. Something that we were not familiar with. Under stress, ppl like to cling to what they are familiar with. And what we were familiar with was to play a chord before we start. It's as ingrained a habit as scratching an itch. (strange/bad analogy) You don't think about whether you should or should not scratch an itch. If it itches, you just scratch. Get it?
It's silly that we should let something like that cost us the gold. What else could i do but sigh, laugh at it and get on with life? So i did. I sighed, laugh at it, (and blog abt it) and got on with life.
As for the comment on Maris Stella, and this goes out to all of them,
I'm sorry about this whole misunderstanding.
YES. It IS a misunderstanding.
The statement was not meant to cheapen the work you have done. I'm sure every band that got a Gold deserves that Gold. I trust the judges judgement on that. Come on, with such strict judging, surely every gold band would be a solid gold band. I'm sure you guys deserved the gold. Go on and celebrate. I was just thinking that it's sad that they didn't think we deserve that gold. Our fault. Not yours.
An error on my part was to make such a sweeping statement as to say Everyone would think so.
There are some, who would think so. That's because eveyone has different likings and hence a different basis of comparison. Some would say otherwise too. Both bands have their own strength and weaknesses. I felt that we were better because my basis for comparison was on the certain parts that we often came in out of sync. We got it right for the syf hence my sentiments. I apologise for making that statement without making a proper comparison. In the end, it's always hard to judge and compare bands because nothing ever seems to be the right basis of comparison.
To passerby,
Pls don't drag Mr Tan in. He didn't say it was because of the chord. We didn't get the gold coz we made obvious mistakes. Which were a result of nervousness. Which was CONTRIBUTED to a large extent by the fact that we did something (in our opinion) strange, which is to not play a chord. This makes sense when viewed in the right context. Such as our band culture.
So no. Mr Tan is not a sore loser. Neither are we.
(oh that's my reasoning. Not Mr Tan's. I never said it was his.)
To Wgsmb,
I have never been and sadly, will never have a chance to be part of the GWH band. So I can't judge their band programme. But if you say so, then, congrats to them. I'm happy with my 5* rating. I'm sorry if the post was offending. I hope I have clarified the matter. Maybe my post started to offend ppl first. But i can assure you it wasn't my intention. If it was, I would have written a long post to the person who was so mean as to go around to my band members' blogs and jeer at us for getting a silver the very day the results came out. Touche.
It's a pity your impression has been colored by this. I hope that if it remains colored, let it only be so with me and not anyone else. The words were mine and I'll take responsiblity for it. Don't form an impression of anyone else.
And last of all,
i apologise on behalf of anyone who may have come off as rude while trying to defend our band. Please understand that they/we were in a defensive mode just as you were when you got offended by the post. It shouldn't be this way, but alas, that's the human nature.
May this be the end of the matter and i hope it spreads no further.
The complexity of communication never cease to amaze or shock me.
It's no wonder that studies have shown that people interprete what a person is trying to say based on 3 parts body language, 2 parts tone and 1 part on the actual words.
Not surprising that misunderstandings often occur when trying to communicate through the many different mediums science has brought to us today.
A clarification for all, since you could only see 1 part of my real intention.
The post, was not to put other bands down, or to cheapen the achievements of other band.
The purpose of that post, was for me to vent my frustration at our silliness so that I can laugh over it, and get on with life. It was not written in response to the nasty stuff people have been saying abt SMSB or to degrade others so I feel better abt myself.
I never expected other ppl to read my blog and hence I never bothered to explain the unspoken stuff that my friends (who were my target audience) would understand.
We didn't get a Gold because we were nervous. Which in my opinion, is such a waste. And we were nervous, because we did something that was out of the ordinary. Something that we were not familiar with. Under stress, ppl like to cling to what they are familiar with. And what we were familiar with was to play a chord before we start. It's as ingrained a habit as scratching an itch. (strange/bad analogy) You don't think about whether you should or should not scratch an itch. If it itches, you just scratch. Get it?
It's silly that we should let something like that cost us the gold. What else could i do but sigh, laugh at it and get on with life? So i did. I sighed, laugh at it, (and blog abt it) and got on with life.
As for the comment on Maris Stella, and this goes out to all of them,
I'm sorry about this whole misunderstanding.
YES. It IS a misunderstanding.
The statement was not meant to cheapen the work you have done. I'm sure every band that got a Gold deserves that Gold. I trust the judges judgement on that. Come on, with such strict judging, surely every gold band would be a solid gold band. I'm sure you guys deserved the gold. Go on and celebrate. I was just thinking that it's sad that they didn't think we deserve that gold. Our fault. Not yours.
An error on my part was to make such a sweeping statement as to say Everyone would think so.
There are some, who would think so. That's because eveyone has different likings and hence a different basis of comparison. Some would say otherwise too. Both bands have their own strength and weaknesses. I felt that we were better because my basis for comparison was on the certain parts that we often came in out of sync. We got it right for the syf hence my sentiments. I apologise for making that statement without making a proper comparison. In the end, it's always hard to judge and compare bands because nothing ever seems to be the right basis of comparison.
To passerby,
Pls don't drag Mr Tan in. He didn't say it was because of the chord. We didn't get the gold coz we made obvious mistakes. Which were a result of nervousness. Which was CONTRIBUTED to a large extent by the fact that we did something (in our opinion) strange, which is to not play a chord. This makes sense when viewed in the right context. Such as our band culture.
So no. Mr Tan is not a sore loser. Neither are we.
(oh that's my reasoning. Not Mr Tan's. I never said it was his.)
To Wgsmb,
I have never been and sadly, will never have a chance to be part of the GWH band. So I can't judge their band programme. But if you say so, then, congrats to them. I'm happy with my 5* rating. I'm sorry if the post was offending. I hope I have clarified the matter. Maybe my post started to offend ppl first. But i can assure you it wasn't my intention. If it was, I would have written a long post to the person who was so mean as to go around to my band members' blogs and jeer at us for getting a silver the very day the results came out. Touche.
It's a pity your impression has been colored by this. I hope that if it remains colored, let it only be so with me and not anyone else. The words were mine and I'll take responsiblity for it. Don't form an impression of anyone else.
And last of all,
i apologise on behalf of anyone who may have come off as rude while trying to defend our band. Please understand that they/we were in a defensive mode just as you were when you got offended by the post. It shouldn't be this way, but alas, that's the human nature.
May this be the end of the matter and i hope it spreads no further.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
My friends are gay. Pls.
I put a picture up, coz I have not done so in a long time. Hah.
It's nice to think about the future and the possible positions we are to take. Where will God call me to be? Where will I be able to give and be used to my fullest potential? I don't know where yet, but it definitely sounds exciting.
Nothing beats knowing that you are at the right place doing the right thing that you were created to do. You feel good. Coz hey, that postition is specially for you, and like, no one is going to fill it up and do it as well as you.
What am I to be, I wonder.
At first I thought I could be an eagle, after all that seemed to be what the events in my life are pointing to. But then I remembered what David told me a long time ago, on behalf of God. Don't get drawn into the limelight, i'm not on the frontline.
Only time will tell where I am to be.
We're all part of One body. I'll prepare to assume my role.
Till then, I'll live in anticipation of the wonderful journey God has prepared for me. And you.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
I miss band so much!
Especially after dropping by today to listen to the sec 3s as they prepare for their first performance.
After talking to Mr Tan, I finally understand why we did not get the gold.
Feels good to know why. At last, we can understand why, and put the results behind us.
Here's the story of each syf. This year, there's a new one. Hah.
2001, good tone but not musical. Silver.
2003, very musical, but tone crack. Silver.
2005, very musical, nice tone. But certain parts not together. Gold.
2007, Musical, Nice tone, Together. BUT, we didn't play a chord before we started the piece! Silver.
I can't believe a stupid reason like 'WE DIDN'T PLAY A CHORD BEFORE WE STARTED' cost us that Gold!!
It's strange how things happen, and I can only conclude that God has a higher plan at work.
For some reason, even though EVERY single time we performed we would play a chord, this year, Mr Tan didn't want to. But he didn't say, and when we ran through and didn't play the chord, we also didn't ask.
He didn't say, we didn't ask.
But we still expected to play it on the day of syf. Out of habit.
So when we didn't, we got a bit freaked out and screwed up the first 17 bars. Even though though from then on we sounded fantastic, It was too late.
First impressions.
Heart and Voice was nicer than Maris Stella's! Everyone who has heard both recording would say so.
I can safely conclude that we're over it.
We just needed to know why.
Now we do, we can exlaim and laugh over it.
Aiya, aiya.
We didn't play the chord.
Especially after dropping by today to listen to the sec 3s as they prepare for their first performance.
After talking to Mr Tan, I finally understand why we did not get the gold.
Feels good to know why. At last, we can understand why, and put the results behind us.
Here's the story of each syf. This year, there's a new one. Hah.
2001, good tone but not musical. Silver.
2003, very musical, but tone crack. Silver.
2005, very musical, nice tone. But certain parts not together. Gold.
2007, Musical, Nice tone, Together. BUT, we didn't play a chord before we started the piece! Silver.
I can't believe a stupid reason like 'WE DIDN'T PLAY A CHORD BEFORE WE STARTED' cost us that Gold!!
It's strange how things happen, and I can only conclude that God has a higher plan at work.
For some reason, even though EVERY single time we performed we would play a chord, this year, Mr Tan didn't want to. But he didn't say, and when we ran through and didn't play the chord, we also didn't ask.
He didn't say, we didn't ask.
But we still expected to play it on the day of syf. Out of habit.
So when we didn't, we got a bit freaked out and screwed up the first 17 bars. Even though though from then on we sounded fantastic, It was too late.
First impressions.
Heart and Voice was nicer than Maris Stella's! Everyone who has heard both recording would say so.
I can safely conclude that we're over it.
We just needed to know why.
Now we do, we can exlaim and laugh over it.
Aiya, aiya.
We didn't play the chord.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
I am PROUD of the silver.
Honestly, I think bands that improved or did well missed out.
Congrats, but you guys are totally missing out.
I came online and to my happy surprise, i found a spam of tags! :D haha.
That's it. I'm over it. I'm just glad that I am one of the lucky few.
I experience the joy and celebration that comes from doing well in SYF. 2 years ago there were smiles, cheers, celebration and congratulations. But that was it. At least for me, being only sec 2.
This time there were tears and sorrows, Lots of hugs, tons of encouragement and the most percious of all, for the first time ever, I saw, the band spirit. The team spirit.
You find yourself doing strange things. Hugging a person you don't like, encouraging others when you are normally silent, and suddenly, all hates and disagreement seem to vanish.
There is just this, raw need for each other. I can't describe it.
I've gotten the best of both worlds.
For that, I'm really thankful.
I thank God for all the wonderful ppl who have encouraged and supported us.
I thank God for all the wonderful experiences I've had in the band.
Hey, Band's a tough cca. It's not made up of geeks and weirdos as ppl commonly perceive.
The band experience is hard to describe. It's really contradictory.
I can only say that you have to experience it yourself to understand it.
Not surprising that a "band lingo" would arise. Some things are just simply, Too Unique.
I shalln't start listing the wonderful experience coz there's just too many to count.
The 3 things that has been built in us the most would be, team work,Stamina and confidence.
Band is team work. You play together, you move the instruments together, we do drills together, we clean up together, everything is done, TOGETHER.
And without realising it, band has build in me, Stamina.
It's tiring to be in band. All the long hours, the shifting of instrument, the punishment (150 squats!) etc. But we don't have a choice, we have to keep going even if we're tired. Somehow find time to do everything else that needs to be done even after practice.
And we've turned out mentally fit. Our mental stamina is good.
Not everyone can claim that.
If you can't take the pressure, you can't be in band.
I've never realised how much confidence I've gained untill today.
Once again, for the second and for the very last time, I stood at the podium.
I was ready to go and announce our results alone if i had to. Thank God Gladys came though. But I would if i had to.
Compared to the first time. Chang, Joyce and I stood there, nervous like anything, facing the whole school.
It's just 1 year. It's just the 2nd time. BIG difference.
Each school's band experience is different.
I thank God for Mr Tan.
It's been a wonderful wonderful experience.
I thank God for His wonderful plan.
For using my mom, to force me to join band.
I thank God.
I thank Him for everything. Even the silver. Yes, Even the silver.
Praise be to God.
The end of the chapter.
Honestly, I think bands that improved or did well missed out.
Congrats, but you guys are totally missing out.
I came online and to my happy surprise, i found a spam of tags! :D haha.
That's it. I'm over it. I'm just glad that I am one of the lucky few.
I experience the joy and celebration that comes from doing well in SYF. 2 years ago there were smiles, cheers, celebration and congratulations. But that was it. At least for me, being only sec 2.
This time there were tears and sorrows, Lots of hugs, tons of encouragement and the most percious of all, for the first time ever, I saw, the band spirit. The team spirit.
You find yourself doing strange things. Hugging a person you don't like, encouraging others when you are normally silent, and suddenly, all hates and disagreement seem to vanish.
There is just this, raw need for each other. I can't describe it.
I've gotten the best of both worlds.
For that, I'm really thankful.
I thank God for all the wonderful ppl who have encouraged and supported us.
I thank God for all the wonderful experiences I've had in the band.
Hey, Band's a tough cca. It's not made up of geeks and weirdos as ppl commonly perceive.
The band experience is hard to describe. It's really contradictory.
I can only say that you have to experience it yourself to understand it.
Not surprising that a "band lingo" would arise. Some things are just simply, Too Unique.
I shalln't start listing the wonderful experience coz there's just too many to count.
The 3 things that has been built in us the most would be, team work,Stamina and confidence.
Band is team work. You play together, you move the instruments together, we do drills together, we clean up together, everything is done, TOGETHER.
And without realising it, band has build in me, Stamina.
It's tiring to be in band. All the long hours, the shifting of instrument, the punishment (150 squats!) etc. But we don't have a choice, we have to keep going even if we're tired. Somehow find time to do everything else that needs to be done even after practice.
And we've turned out mentally fit. Our mental stamina is good.
Not everyone can claim that.
If you can't take the pressure, you can't be in band.
I've never realised how much confidence I've gained untill today.
Once again, for the second and for the very last time, I stood at the podium.
I was ready to go and announce our results alone if i had to. Thank God Gladys came though. But I would if i had to.
Compared to the first time. Chang, Joyce and I stood there, nervous like anything, facing the whole school.
It's just 1 year. It's just the 2nd time. BIG difference.
Each school's band experience is different.
I thank God for Mr Tan.
It's been a wonderful wonderful experience.
I thank God for His wonderful plan.
For using my mom, to force me to join band.
I thank God.
I thank Him for everything. Even the silver. Yes, Even the silver.
Praise be to God.
The end of the chapter.
Monday, April 16, 2007
I remember a story I once read in "One Singapore" by Goh Sin Tub and later, i think it appeared in our PETS text book. Yes, the primary school textbook.
I've sent it out to some SLs. It talks about winning even in losing.
So i've come to terms with our results. Yes, the wound is still a little raw.
No point telling me "as long as you tried your best" coz i know it wasn't.
Oh wells, we all make mistakes and just have to learn from it.
Today, I learnt my last lesson as a leader of the band.
I learnt how a leader should act even when everything seems a broken mess, when everyone's discouraged. When you yourself is discouraged.
We do not have much time to waste crying and wallowing in pity. We have to be the quickest to bounce back on our feets and get things moving again.
I was sorely tempted to skip school tmr. So I wouldn't have to face our failures.
But I decided, if not for anyone else, I'm going to school tmr for myself.
I'll face the all the questions and sympathy and take it all in my stride.
I fall, but God is good, and He'll pick me up again.
I really must thank Him for seeing me through this peroid.
Tmr night, I'll do a proper closing to this chapter of band life.
Tonight, we'll nurse our wounds.
Tmr, we'll smile.
I've sent it out to some SLs. It talks about winning even in losing.
So i've come to terms with our results. Yes, the wound is still a little raw.
No point telling me "as long as you tried your best" coz i know it wasn't.
Oh wells, we all make mistakes and just have to learn from it.
Today, I learnt my last lesson as a leader of the band.
I learnt how a leader should act even when everything seems a broken mess, when everyone's discouraged. When you yourself is discouraged.
We do not have much time to waste crying and wallowing in pity. We have to be the quickest to bounce back on our feets and get things moving again.
I was sorely tempted to skip school tmr. So I wouldn't have to face our failures.
But I decided, if not for anyone else, I'm going to school tmr for myself.
I'll face the all the questions and sympathy and take it all in my stride.
I fall, but God is good, and He'll pick me up again.
I really must thank Him for seeing me through this peroid.
Tmr night, I'll do a proper closing to this chapter of band life.
Tonight, we'll nurse our wounds.
Tmr, we'll smile.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
It's 16 hours and 30 mins till SYF.
I've finally finished making my share of cards for the band.
How should i describe my feelings now?
Anxious? Nervous?
No. Those words can't describe it.
Tmr, it all comes to an end.
I pray that my cough will not affect me tmr.
I pray that I can pray tmr.
I pray that the band will be musical tmr.
I pray that God will be with me tmr.
I PRAY.
Tmr we shall see.
I've finally finished making my share of cards for the band.
How should i describe my feelings now?
Anxious? Nervous?
No. Those words can't describe it.
Tmr, it all comes to an end.
I pray that my cough will not affect me tmr.
I pray that I can pray tmr.
I pray that the band will be musical tmr.
I pray that God will be with me tmr.
I PRAY.
Tmr we shall see.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
It only took a few sentences for a tiny spark of hope to rise up in me.
I believe we can do it.
I believe we are going to get that gold and no one can say otherwise.
SMSB is going to take the judges by storm on monday afternoon.
HAH.
This week has been an exceedingly stressed week with all the band members in my class stressing every noon and evening. Coz that's when the results for the day are out.
Don't ask me how I have spend my time, coz the days seem a blur and I can't rmb.
But I have found myself sleeping at 11 plus or 12 plus each night since sunday.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
He has sustain me up till today and things just seem to be moving though i must admit that our walk has taken a dip this week.
I poured out my complaints and burden for the band to Him since no one else could understand.
He who created this wonderous thing called music would understand what was in my heart which could not be put into words.
It is a beautiful gift to be able to worship God with music that touches the soul and expresses what cannot be said.
A pity I never did that while I still had any claims to sounding good.
It saddens me that I never gave Him my best.
Still God forgives and continues to work His Will.
More then just getting the gold on monday, I want the band to be able to make music.
Music that is unseen yet capable of making our blood rush and painting pictures in our mind.
I'll miss this simple music making when I step down.
SMSB ALL THE WAY!!
I believe we can do it.
I believe we are going to get that gold and no one can say otherwise.
SMSB is going to take the judges by storm on monday afternoon.
HAH.
This week has been an exceedingly stressed week with all the band members in my class stressing every noon and evening. Coz that's when the results for the day are out.
Don't ask me how I have spend my time, coz the days seem a blur and I can't rmb.
But I have found myself sleeping at 11 plus or 12 plus each night since sunday.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
He has sustain me up till today and things just seem to be moving though i must admit that our walk has taken a dip this week.
I poured out my complaints and burden for the band to Him since no one else could understand.
He who created this wonderous thing called music would understand what was in my heart which could not be put into words.
It is a beautiful gift to be able to worship God with music that touches the soul and expresses what cannot be said.
A pity I never did that while I still had any claims to sounding good.
It saddens me that I never gave Him my best.
Still God forgives and continues to work His Will.
More then just getting the gold on monday, I want the band to be able to make music.
Music that is unseen yet capable of making our blood rush and painting pictures in our mind.
I'll miss this simple music making when I step down.
SMSB ALL THE WAY!!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
STRESSED
It's 5 days to SYF.
76 bands later, there's only 9 gold and 1 GWH. Almost half are bronze.
The judges are strict these year and many bands have already dropped standard.
Listening to a recording of our playing during sound check has taken my stress level a notch higher. I didn't know we made THAT many mistakes.
If I were the judge, I would give us a silver. Our playing doesn't deserve a gold.
Boo hoo.
I'll give my best till the end.
Aja aja fighti!
It's 5 days to SYF.
76 bands later, there's only 9 gold and 1 GWH. Almost half are bronze.
The judges are strict these year and many bands have already dropped standard.
Listening to a recording of our playing during sound check has taken my stress level a notch higher. I didn't know we made THAT many mistakes.
If I were the judge, I would give us a silver. Our playing doesn't deserve a gold.
Boo hoo.
I'll give my best till the end.
Aja aja fighti!
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Today's worship was fantastic.
I started the day in a really irritatble mood.
I woke up late, my phone battery was almost dead, I haven't pack, i hit my toes against my mom's cupboard then my bed, and we were going to be late.
I prayed and sincerly hope that all these, would not ruin my day with God.
As it turned out, God lifted my heavy heart.
Somehow, I felt Him telling me that HEY, He died for me too.
Not just for the ppl around me, not just for the nonbelievers, He died for ME TOO.
Before I even knew and recognised that I was unclean, He already saw it and decided to pay that price that would save my life and render me free. If I accepted it.
How could i forget?????
But that's excatly what I did. I Forgot.
And God in His amazing way, reminded me.
He is always there, though I treat Him otherwise, HE IS ALWAYS THERE.
What an amazing revelation to someone who FORGOT.
EI8HT Days to SYF, mid years are coming.
It's a disaster in the making.
Tmr, SYF starts and we'll be hearing the results of other bands.
I have no confidence, and i dare not hope.
All i can say is, it was definitly more fun to play with the 2005 batch.
Infer what you will.
This time round, there is no sense of urgency, no excitement, no nervousness.
I am but a drop in an ocean.
And I have but one wish.
That somehow, by some miracle, we would play and deliver the song like it was meant to be.
A hymn declaring praise to God.
Come Christians, join to sing. Alleluia, Amen.
I started the day in a really irritatble mood.
I woke up late, my phone battery was almost dead, I haven't pack, i hit my toes against my mom's cupboard then my bed, and we were going to be late.
I prayed and sincerly hope that all these, would not ruin my day with God.
As it turned out, God lifted my heavy heart.
Somehow, I felt Him telling me that HEY, He died for me too.
Not just for the ppl around me, not just for the nonbelievers, He died for ME TOO.
Before I even knew and recognised that I was unclean, He already saw it and decided to pay that price that would save my life and render me free. If I accepted it.
How could i forget?????
But that's excatly what I did. I Forgot.
And God in His amazing way, reminded me.
He is always there, though I treat Him otherwise, HE IS ALWAYS THERE.
What an amazing revelation to someone who FORGOT.
EI8HT Days to SYF, mid years are coming.
It's a disaster in the making.
Tmr, SYF starts and we'll be hearing the results of other bands.
I have no confidence, and i dare not hope.
All i can say is, it was definitly more fun to play with the 2005 batch.
Infer what you will.
This time round, there is no sense of urgency, no excitement, no nervousness.
I am but a drop in an ocean.
And I have but one wish.
That somehow, by some miracle, we would play and deliver the song like it was meant to be.
A hymn declaring praise to God.
Come Christians, join to sing. Alleluia, Amen.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Things turned out better than i expected, but less than I had dared hope.
But at the end of it all, I believe and can see that God's hand is at work.
My prayer is still the same, that someday, they may come to know Christ and accept Him just as I have.
Along the way I caught a little glimpse of the Father's heart.
The gospel is not for the Jews alone but for the Gentiles.
One author of Our Journey pointed out how Christians would hang out together and talk in their "Christian lingo" and condemn non-believers.
Somehow many Christians seemed to have slip into a holier than thou mentality.
And I was sadden to recognise that in me.
Instead of reaching out, I had a warped mentality. Why spread the gospel? Being in an anglican school, I'm sure my peers would have heard it before. If they didn't want to believe, that's their problem and they would reap the reprecussion of it.
I would happily talk about Church with other Christian friends in school and feel a little smug that the non-christians felt left out.
Such was the ugliness of my sin till I remembered that I am saved because Christ did not just die for the Jews but for everyone.
This is shown clearly in the Bible again and again.
The lost, the lost. That which was lost and now is found.
Christ was always mingling with the ppl who I believe in today's term would be called the unbelieving.
His heart is always for the lost.
So with a changed perspective I return to school.
May God continue to reveal His will.
But at the end of it all, I believe and can see that God's hand is at work.
My prayer is still the same, that someday, they may come to know Christ and accept Him just as I have.
Along the way I caught a little glimpse of the Father's heart.
The gospel is not for the Jews alone but for the Gentiles.
One author of Our Journey pointed out how Christians would hang out together and talk in their "Christian lingo" and condemn non-believers.
Somehow many Christians seemed to have slip into a holier than thou mentality.
And I was sadden to recognise that in me.
Instead of reaching out, I had a warped mentality. Why spread the gospel? Being in an anglican school, I'm sure my peers would have heard it before. If they didn't want to believe, that's their problem and they would reap the reprecussion of it.
I would happily talk about Church with other Christian friends in school and feel a little smug that the non-christians felt left out.
Such was the ugliness of my sin till I remembered that I am saved because Christ did not just die for the Jews but for everyone.
This is shown clearly in the Bible again and again.
The lost, the lost. That which was lost and now is found.
Christ was always mingling with the ppl who I believe in today's term would be called the unbelieving.
His heart is always for the lost.
So with a changed perspective I return to school.
May God continue to reveal His will.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
It feels weird that I've not use the computer nor watch TV for 1 week.
BUT, it was good. Good for my walk with God.
Tomorrow, is good friday.
To many people, it would be a day of rest, a public holiday. But for us Christians, tmr is a day to rmb what Jesus did at the cross.
Indeed, if not for him, I would still be enslaved to the world. To an utterly meaningless living. Striving to achieve success (as the world defines it) only to find at the end of this journey called life, that i never really achieved anything.
I thank God, that a Savior's Love spared me that. :D
A good friday special, Why by Nicole Nordeman.
*The video takes a really loooooooooooooooooong time to load. Be patient.
There's a continuation from Passion of Christ after the song.
BUT, it was good. Good for my walk with God.
Tomorrow, is good friday.
To many people, it would be a day of rest, a public holiday. But for us Christians, tmr is a day to rmb what Jesus did at the cross.
Indeed, if not for him, I would still be enslaved to the world. To an utterly meaningless living. Striving to achieve success (as the world defines it) only to find at the end of this journey called life, that i never really achieved anything.
I thank God, that a Savior's Love spared me that. :D
A good friday special, Why by Nicole Nordeman.
*The video takes a really loooooooooooooooooong time to load. Be patient.
There's a continuation from Passion of Christ after the song.
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