Right.
I'm gonna go on a fast with Joey!
I'm fasting from TV and the computer except for blogging and doing work. Coz blogging is really the time i collect my thoughts.
So no more maple for me =(
Well, there's always a sacrifice invovled.

I must say, after going for 3 days of revival seminar, i didn't recieve as much as i expected. Maybe satan was out to get me and he did. For stupid reasons, i've been exceptionally bad in my time management last week and ended up sleeping very late for practically the whole week. By the time weekend came, i was so tired.
I fell asleep during day 1 and day 3 of revival seminar.
I was only paying proper attention on day 2.

I went up twice, the 1st time i didn't feel anything nor hear anything at all. The 2nd time, i still didn't hear anything but i was crying and crying. Why? i duno.
All that came out of it was my resolve to follow God no matter wad.

Something's wrong with my spiritual walk and i duno what it is. and that is VERY VERY BAD.
Which is 1 of the reasons i'm joining joey in her fast.
Can you fast and not grow close to God? I doubt so.

40 days is a long time. I hope i can keep to my commitment to God.
Today is 27.2.06 day 1.
Until 7.4.06 which would be day 40.
And that is exactly 1 week before good friday.

Right. So off i go to fast!

Elizabeth chirped at 5:36 PM | No comments

Ahhh. SO tired.
I'm going to sleep right after blogging. Dead Tired lar.
The next 2 weeks are going to be stressful until POLKA is over.

Yesterday Mr Tan got SUPER PISSED. Freak me out lar. Reminded me of my dad. ahahaha. RIGHT.
And today we had 4 hours of practice. My goodness. But i must say the pieces are getting better. Some at least.
Band is Tough but fun.
I never knew that statement would prove to be so TRUE.
So TOUGH. but I love band!
I love the ppl in Band!
Dun worry joey, i love the ppl in church too!

Yesterday was a full day. And today's gonna be another one.
Yesterday was school,band then church.
Today is band then church.
But both take up the whole day.

My life is seriously school, band, church.
I'm having a bad headache now. I NEED SLEEP.
Evening!

Elizabeth chirped at 3:04 PM | No comments

Whee! My solo is coming along although it still ain't good.
I hope it comes along in time for POLKA! III.
Ah.. that sounds funny.

Anyway,
LAST CALL FOR POLKA Tickets!
St Margaret's Symphonic Band Concert
11 March , Sat
5.30pm
Victorial Concert Hall
$15

For secellites, I've asked Dan if there was gonna be secell since it's the day before SCC and since he said there were only 2 more test dates for SCC and 11 march is the third week = 3 test date. Get what i mean?
Anyway he said there may be SCC prep for the planners instead of secell.

I duno what that actually implies.. but it means that SOME PPL might be able to go for the concert!
It's better to leave early from the concert for service than to not come at all right? RIGHT!?
So if you interested tell me and i'll ask the Da Ma again. aahahahaha.
Come on lar.
Dun be mean and support me! =D

Elizabeth chirped at 7:15 PM | No comments

POLKA! III is exactly 2 weeks from now.
It's just next next sat!
OH MY.
And i still cannot play properly! DIE DIE DIE!
OH MY OH MY.

Right. Today is SUSHI DAY!
It's official. Every monday the baboon, the tigress and the bird shall eat sushi. Or go coro at least lar. So we can RELAX after our test. RIGHT.

Ok.. i think i'm a bit of a sadist. Or maybe not.
I'm happier being sad then being happy. Get it?
Coz i'm closer to God when I'm sad which makes me happier!
I dun like to be happy w/o being close to God.
ahahaha.

It's like..
You have turned my mourning into dancing
You have turned my sorrow into JOY!

From 'this is how we overcome'

Elizabeth chirped at 4:37 PM | No comments

I'm back after window shopping with our Da Ma (ahahahah), yima and fima.
Ahahaa... i got Joyce's present. It's super CUTE! hahahahaha.

I couldn't focus today in church. Not on worship, not on the sermon nor on the prayer. I just couldn't focus for some reason. And my mind would be everywhere. RIGHT.

Somehow i think i'm gonna get closer to Jesus.

It's funny how i always think of God as the Father. I always pray to the Father and not to the Son Jesus. Until i find that i'm like close to the Father and not the Son. But it's like we can only know the Father through the Son so it's like wrong. But then again, arn't they the same?
Ok i'm confused.

As in I don't know the Jesus part. I dun see God as a friend. I can only see Him as a Father. But i want to know Him as a friend too. And that would be the Jesus part.
Am i making sense? I dun think so. Nevermind..

I'm kinda excited for June Retreat now. At first i didn't really look forward to it, but now i do.
Coz it means quality time with my sistas and God. I'm just not really comfortable with the idea of a combined camp. I'm no good with strangers.
And i'm so used to the small church feeling. What will it be like when its combined?

Maybe this is a good thing as we may have gotten too comfortable in our church until we are all in cliques and if new ppl come in, they won't feel welcome coz we are all already in our comfortable cliques.
ok..

I'm off to Maple now!

Elizabeth chirped at 5:33 PM | No comments

It's God's plan at work.
That's what i can say.

How coincidental can it be that joey, would all of a sudden have to pee at 7am in the morning and after that, come online and read my blog.
Joey, who hardly comes online and who isn't much of an early riser (no offence ok).

Apparently, we were all like kinda feeling the same way abt our friendship.
We had a good sista talk.. even though we missed worship and half the sermon becoz of it.
Tears were shed, much spoken.
We were all hiding behind our own mask. All afraid to speak what's on our minds for fear of being condemned. We envied each other and hurt each other in the process. How silly.
We didn't have a proper conclusion i guess but at least we understood each other better now.

It'll take time esp. lots of quality time before we can really share our burdens.
Ok.. i've just been interrupt by Jere. My train of thought is completely lost. RIGHT.
I shall end here.
Rather abrupt.

Elizabeth chirped at 1:05 AM | No comments

OK.
So i was probably just so tired yesterday after a long week and being occupied the whole day without enough sleep. Until i started stoning and made myself depressed. Hahah.

Anyway i forgot to mention yesterday that some 'Serve' ppl came to my school. And one of the girl gave a testimony that reminded me a little of myself.

She was talking abt her pride.
Even now, although i know i'm proud, it's like i'm not doing much abt it. Coz that proudness often affects me and not much to the ppl around me. Or maybe it's more but i can't see it coz ppl often can't see their own mistakes and need someone to point it out to them.

But she pointed out one thing.
My pride is bound to interfere in my walk with God.
How can i decrease and God increase if i'm so proud?
What makes me think that even though i don't rely on others i will rely on God?
If i can't learn to trust the ppl around me who i've known for so long, how can i learn to trust God?

I guess i have to teach myself it's okay to ask for help. All man can and will fall. But God can use the ppl around him to help him rise again.
It's hard to open up but i will try.

I duno if they'll read this but i'll put it on anyway.

JOEY LAU YIMA
I really feel you have this really great and special gift from God ok. Use it well. I'm sure many ppl would be touched by it in time to come. God can use you to speak to ppl around you who may not have been listening to God's voice.
Just don't make fun of me and cheryl with rachel ok. I'm sure you know how it felt when rachel and shalom made fun of the present thing. haha. forgive and forget lar.

RACHEL WONG FIMA
You most likely will never read this coz you can hardly come online. Still i'll put it on.
I think you may have similar problems as me. The trusting part. But at least you do share some of your problems with many different ppl. But each one only knows a certain part of it.
I'm not up to date with you but i just wanna say. Hey sista! We really want to make something out of this and we really want you in. It doesn't matter that at times we spilt into 2 groups to do certain stuff. But even if you feel left out at times, it wasn't intentional. Anyway, Crave acceptance from God and not from man ok!

CHERYL CHEONG MANNA
Don't let your anger get the better of you ok. and never get too proud until you can't see where you have gone wrong. I know you have another better gang of friends who really support you more than we could but i think it's ok. I guess at times you are torn in between. But i think they can give you the much needed support better than us. We're still young and need time to grow and mature both in our minds and spiritually before we can support each other well. Maybe now's the growing process. Still hopefully that dream will come true.
The best option in all situation is to honor God. Honor God and he will honor you!

SHALOM FUNG LAMA
Crap you lar. I want to see you more often ok. Come for Secell! If there's something you dun like there, then tell Dan or suggest something else to him to help improve. Dun just skip it ok.
We want to hear your crazy laughter and not see your black face lar. And try to be on time!!
Ahhhaha.

Oh my. Maybe i'm guessing at air.. but this is a guess i have.
Joey, probably healing ppl's broken spirit with her unique gift.
Shalom, probably social. Helping ppl feel welcome that kinda thing.
Rachel, might be the one who will bring in the strays.. or bringing in ppl.Youths.
Cheryl, bringing in little kids? Something to do with Kids since you like them so much. Might be follow up for ppl brought in. Not too sure.
As for me, i can't really see it yet. It's hard to see myself.

anyway, I LUB LUB YOU CRAZY BUNCH OF PEOPLE!
ogay. haha.
i hope you didn't see that post but if you did, sorry. Understand that my mind wasn't functioning well.

To my other friends, dun feel bad that i never write for you all lar. Today's for the ppl i've known the longest.

CHEERS!

Elizabeth chirped at 11:43 AM | No comments

a normal post!

Aiyo. Shahira never come for band this whole week lar.
Ok.. now i know how important Shahira is. Not that i thought she was unimportant before but now how how important she is lar.
She never come only so many missing parts.

Even though I'm half asleep i'm going to maple for awhile!
Must maple if i want to keep up with Joyce. I bet she same lvl as me now.

Polka! is so near can. It's like next next next week. That's like SO NEAR. And we are SO NOT PREPARED. Time flies fast.
I'll be glad when its over.
then, no more Negative feelings whenever i think abt it.

i went super high in class today.
ahahahhaha. the mu lao hu and the baboon will know. And everyone else sitting around me.
ok.. maybe not super high. Just high.
I only go super high when shalom is around.
HAhahahahaha.

Elizabeth chirped at 12:07 AM | No comments

Oh my.
I'm using the new computer to blog.. and my blog looks seriously WEIRD.
The fonts are like rather squashed together.. and you can see the gradient effect i used for my picture. Looks so ugly!!!
I prefer the old comp! but my bro using now so i can't do anything.
This comp doesn't have anything lar. Only windows msg, no photoshop, no Maple (installing now) dun have all my wonderful pictures.. DUN HAVE ANYTHING!
RAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
---------------------------------------------------------
Ok.. so like i haven't been having my morning talks with God.. and i've been wondering why i feel so far from Him. Then yesterday, my TAG topic was you reap what you sow.
So i was thinking.. hey maybe it's coz i haven't been talking to God that's why i feel so far away from Him.

And so... i started my daily talks with Him once again today. And i felt so much closer to God again ok!! I love HIM!
Hahahha.

I'm so dead tmr.
I have no new clothes ok.
What clothes i have you have seen it all.
And tmr is anniversary dinner!!
crap crap crap.

It doesn't help that the thing starts at 7pm while my CCA ends at 6.. actually 6.30 if you include packing time and all the other stuff.
RIGHT.
So i'll be late and dress like crap.
RIGHT.

Things can't get worse right? WRONG.
I duno how i'm suppose to get there.
It's like my dad has to be there on time or early or something lar coz he's the dickon. So means he can't pick me then send me home then send me there.
And i think my whole family is following him.
I haven't figured how to work things out.
RIGHT.

Elizabeth chirped at 6:41 PM | No comments

just for the record.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Joyce BABOON Teo BENG BENG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arn't i nice?? i make BIG BIG and COLORFUL for you ok!
and dun complain abt the rather LOUSY and EXPENSIVE but kinder CHEAPO waffle.
That's not ur REAL present.
-------------------------------------------------------
Ok.. let's see.
The Korean Pastor talked abt water.
And how if you cursed it, the water would look like shattered glass.
But if you said nice things to it like you love it etc, it would look nice and pretty.

So we should say nice things to ur water before you drink it. RIGHT.
I duno if it's true, but my brother has written the fruits of the spirit on a piece of paper and stuck it to our water conatainer. And he says he has tried talking to his water before drinking it.
RIGHT.
I took these 2 links off his blog.
http://www.i-sis.org.uk/water4.php
http://www.kitchenmedicinebook.com/016798.html
Apparently, the speaker wasn't joking. Such an expirement have been done.
RIGHT. Still, i'm not gonna talk to my water.
That would be too eccentric. haha.

Anyway,
HAPPY TOTAL DEFENCE DAY!!

Elizabeth chirped at 6:21 PM | No comments

Aish.
I was actually happily blogging yesterday abt something i learned on sunday and just as i was abt to finish, the stupid comp just HAD TO HANG.
And even after offing the comp, i couldn't get it running again.
how marvelous.

Ok.. so i shall just go veri briefly abt what it was..
Bascially i learned abt worship.
But the thing that really struck me the most was the reason why a worship team is needed.
We are there to create the ENVIRONMENT for ppl to worship.
It is the music etc. that changes what is just a normal building into a place suitable for worship.

And i saw it put into action yesterday. We had assembly in the hall and everything was like.. just assembly stuff lar.
Until someone started playing the piano and ppl started singing as we had singspiration in the hall and the whole place was transformed into one suitable for worship.
It was the piano and the voice that changed the environment.

So that was basically what i blogged abt yesterday. Quite a bit was cut out.

Anyway i now have the song Zombie by cranberries stuck IN MY HEAD.
ahahah. I like the video! We're watching it for SS.

Elizabeth chirped at 7:56 PM | No comments

WHOA.
Some DYNAMIC KOREAN ppl came to my church today.
Service was SO DYNAMIC.
EVERYONE jumped lar.
Even those who normally stone during praise and worship were jumping enthusiasticaly.
Rather Surprising.

It's interesting to have ppl from other country come and lead worship.
They were willing to sacrifice part of their holiday to go to other countries and do God's work. Even the language barrier did not deter them.
Not Bad i must say.

I guess everyone really enjoyed themselves.

They did a skit. Or should i say mime coz they didn't say anything.
But it was super touching.
It's abt how God created the world and sent Jesus to die for our sins.
They acted with such conviction.
Even though their acting wasn't super good but you can see and feel that they really mean what they are acting.
The way they potrayed everything was super good. The part where satan tempted man and they fell brought tears to many ppl's eyes. But the most touching part was when God was hugging Jesus before they separated.

I've never thought abt it but i guess it must have been really painful for God to be separated from His Son.
I mean we are always knew that our merciful God send Jesus to die for our sins out of love but we never really thought what it cost Him. We only think of what that meant for us.
How must it have felt for God to see Jesus one last time before He was sent to earth. And watch in heaven as Jesus suffered for something He did not do wrong.
We've hardly attempt to try and see things from God's point of view.

And the koreans ended the skit by slowly lifting one hand and pointing at us after a guy said who did He do it for.
That part was kinda freaky. Coz the ppl looked scary. And their expression was rather scary too.
I felt super guilty and i didn't dare to meet their eyes.

Well, i guess i must say that today was really an eye opener.

Elizabeth chirped at 10:45 PM | No comments

I'm lazy to blog but must blog lar.
HELLO JOYCE TEO BABOON BOY BENG BENG the GAY HAPPY NINJA MAN BREAD MAN CUPCAKE MAN HOHOBAR!!!!!!!!!
ahaha. you make my name big big i make yours big big also. Are you HONORED??
you better be. ahhahahhaha

Ok.. let me compile my nicknames so far.
Bird, birdie, BIRD girl, birdie girl.. etc. same same
gingerbreadman.
happy gay.
purplemama.
cheeLEEpek.
pipi.
birma.

er.. i think no more. can't rmb lar. rather weird right.
I think Karen's right. i DO like to think of weird names. Never realised that before.
HAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

Ogay.

I think i'm really a Freak!
Ahahha. but I LIKE!!! =D

Elizabeth chirped at 9:07 PM | No comments

i haven't been blogging coz i've nth much to blog about.
I'm still so glad that the Sweden thing is settled. I CAN GO!!
lol. I bet there's just gonna be a lot of fond memories to be made there.
Even now i can still remember our melbourne trip.
Rather exciting.

Due to the lack of things to blog abt, i shall just blog randomly.

I've had my crystallisation experiment! clap clap clap. what joy.
The crystals look super nice ok. IT's Bright BLUE!!
ALthough mine wasn't veri good. I guess it cooled too fast.
Chem isn't too bad. Rathering interesting i must say.
At least it's so much better than Physics. Why did i ever pick it?
Coz i was lousy at bio. RIGHT.

Today Mr Tan worked on my AE Solo ONE ON ONE ok.
STRESS STRESS STRESS.
At least i sounded better than when i play during the actual practice.
I seriously wonder how on earth am i ever gonna be able to play it properly on the day of the concert lar. Rather crappy lar he. He said he had good news and bad news for me.
Good news: I get to bow. !?!?!?!??!?!!?
Bad news: I'm hidden. Isn't that good?
RIGHT.

HAH. ok i've completed the obligation i felt to blog.
i'm going to do my laundry now!

Elizabeth chirped at 8:41 PM | No comments

Oh MY.
I can go for the Sweden trip AND for the camp!
I asked my dad today abt the Sweden trip and finally he said ok.
I still have to come up with 500 bucks but i can take out from my bank account first.
And when I told him abt what my mom said abt not going for camp and all.
He said nvm lar. The camp is like 200 bucks so it's ok. Can still go.

MY OH MY.
I've been praying for a long long time for things to work out.
I'm glad it did.
I watch as how my dad's answer from 100%no turn to 50% no to 100% yes!
It is really by God's grace that i can go for the trip.
It really aint cheap. Even the last band trip i went for to melbourne cost abt 1+k if i rmb correctly..

It is becoz of my mother's changed attitude towards getting a job that she finally got a job. And made it economically possible for me to go. And she told me that it was a verse that changed her mindset.
And my dad finally relented. For what reason? i duno.

But I can see that at the end of it all, it's God's hands at work.

The decision may not have to be made this time but i guess at some point of time, i will be called to make the choice. I hope that no matter how many time God asks me to choose, my answer will still be the same. To choose Him.

bleah...

GOD IS GREAT!

Elizabeth chirped at 1:32 PM | No comments

Finally my mom allow me to go for the Sweden trip.
I'm glad. I still have to ask my dad though.
However she said if i go for Sweden, i can't go for bible camp in M'sia.

SO it's like now i have to choose between Sweden and bible camp.
I want to go for BOTH!
Why can't i have my cake and it it??
I dislike that idiom the most. Rather dumb.
My cake is for ME what. So i can eat it wad. Talk so much for wad?
lol.

I really want to go for the Sweden trip.
But if i don't go for bible camp, i'll be missing out on stuff that could really help and strengthen my walk with God.

How how hoW!!!!
Sweden is like a once in a lifetime opportunity like my melbourne trip.
If not for trips like this i would be able to say i've never been out of ASIA before.

The model answer would be to choose God.
i guess if you honor God first He will honor you.

It's like this is a test.
Would i go after God or go after my desires.

In the end, i wouldn't want to do anything without God's blessing.
And i have no idea whether Sweden has it or not.

It doesn't help by the fact that this year's bible camp is combined with other churches. So in total there will be abt 800 ppl? and my church is like 100+ ppl.
RIGHT.

Sweden........ or GOD?

Elizabeth chirped at 9:42 PM | No comments

No COLOR. i'm in a BAD MOOD!
[edited]
band pieces sounding rather bad.
13 practice and 5 sectionals more to POLKA.
no one seems to have realised this nor tried to do something abt it.

Had more to say. But just a waste of time.
I can only hope that something good will come out of polka.
I currently have too much anger and unhappiness in me to blog properly.
------------------------------------------------
[edited again]
bleah.
ok.. my throat's feeling better.
So hopefully i can play properly tmr!

One of the bigger fears i have is that i may love myself more than God.
Band is ego boosting for me. I normally feel good about myself there.
Probably one of the reasons i love it.
and i spend so much time there!

It's like i want glory for myself or something. Like i rather have glory for myself than for God.
I SO hope that will NEVER be true.

I think the most trying periods in the end is while we have prosperity and not while we are suffering.
I think it is easier to trust God when things are going wrong then when things are going right.
Coz when things are well.. people don't even trust God at all. What's there to trust!?
Most ppl think that everything is going well and forget abt God.

I love being close to God and i'm closest when things aint going well.
Weird isn't it?

It's a struggle for me to make choices that would glorify God instead of myself.
In the end my sinful nature is my greatest enemy.

bleah.. my thoughts are rather jumbled now and so maybe i ain't presenting them properly.
i'll end it here.

hope those lazy bums would move their fat ass and go practice. Don't they know they sound horrible er rather bad?

Elizabeth chirped at 7:35 PM | No comments