Pardon me for not blogging. Coz i've simply been too lazy to blog.
Actually i was kinda busy.. doing the youth planner and all..
ANyway, i'm blogging now simply coz i've something to advertise. Ho hum.
ST. MARGARET'S SYMPHONIC BAND
brings to you our very own..
POLKA III!!! (concert)
11 March 2006
5.30pm
$15
It's kinda expansive but that's coz we are trying to raise money so more ppl can go for our Sweden trip next year to take part in a competition.
I'm one of the kinda many ppl who are depending on this money. Coz my dad says 2000 for a sweden trip is not worth it. Unless it's abt $1500 then i can go.
And your dear beloved which is me lar, will be playing a super short and rather insignificant solo!!
SO come and support me!!!
Just inform me if you want to buy the ticket through sms, phone or tagging on my blog.
Monday, December 26, 2005
Ahh.. i'm feeling the holiday blues already!!
and it doesn't help that i've not finished A LOT of my homework.
anyway this year's christmas is so boring. Like.. it feels like a normal day. My family didn't do anything special.
The year is ending..
looking back to last year, i guess i've grown.
I guess we are often growing spiritually. Yet i can't wait to be spiritually more mature. I can't stand the fact knowing I'm not close to God and yet failing to do much abt it. GAH!
I guess i better get my lazy butt off the chair and start doing my homework.
I'm too lazy to add colors today. Shall leave it as it is
and it doesn't help that i've not finished A LOT of my homework.
anyway this year's christmas is so boring. Like.. it feels like a normal day. My family didn't do anything special.
The year is ending..
looking back to last year, i guess i've grown.
I guess we are often growing spiritually. Yet i can't wait to be spiritually more mature. I can't stand the fact knowing I'm not close to God and yet failing to do much abt it. GAH!
I guess i better get my lazy butt off the chair and start doing my homework.
I'm too lazy to add colors today. Shall leave it as it is
Elizabeth
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Saturday, December 24, 2005
OKie.. i did the funny quiz thing MARILYN did and this is the result.
A little accurate but not really.
--------------------------------------------
Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
A little true..
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Erm.. i still have certain criterias. I have a certain type wan.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
I'm so NOT straightforward.
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
Ahem. Not true.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
I guess this is kinda true. I hate to fail. Other than for chinese.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Not really lar. A bit lor.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
A little accurate but not really.
--------------------------------------------
Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
A little true..
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Erm.. i still have certain criterias. I have a certain type wan.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
I'm so NOT straightforward.
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
Ahem. Not true.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
I guess this is kinda true. I hate to fail. Other than for chinese.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Not really lar. A bit lor.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Elizabeth
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Thursday, December 22, 2005
So i went for 2 camps and when i come back, my blog is dead.
Anyway youth camp was a wonderful time.
Sure the games were crappy but the spiritual side was WONDERFUL!
Other then the fact that i was often half asleep during the sessions, i think it was okay lar.
During the first night, i went up for the altar call coz like David said those who are dry or can't worship or something.. haiya that kind lar to go up. And i was SO SO DRY ok!!! SO i went lar. And they were singing 'healing rain is falling down, healing rain is falling down, I'm not afraid..'
The words i'm not afraid really gave me courage. I was like Father i'm not afraid anymore so come down and just rain down on me. Let nothing stop you or me.
Then David prayed for me lar. AND THEN.. i slowly felt like every single Cell in my body was vibrating. I was kinda numb and it was kinda uncomfortable. It's like i had the pins and needles feeling just that it was throughout my whole body from top to bottom. It felt as if there was electricity or something going through me lar. It was the first time i encounter something like this. Coz normally you go up you just cry cry lar. It's like it's all a emotion. BUt this is like.. PHYSICAL!!!!!
And also David said that I used to have a passion for God but it has been reduced to a small flame. Almost gone but still there and flickers once in awhile. There are stuff holding me back from having the passion again and he's not sure wad. Once i can break free from the stuff, i will have a passion for God like never before.
And it kinda took me awhile to firgure out what was stopping me lar. Up till now still not so sure.
But the thing is that God hears. God is REAL! He's no fakeroo. Coz i've been praying for a revival for a long long time. I've gotten so dead and so cold. I'm still trying to break free but it'll take time. I can't wait to have a passion for God again!
Actually i wondered when did i ever have a passion for God before i realised it was probably during last year's FOP. Wah.. that experience there really taught me how to worship God and i was so on fire for Him after that lar. Somehow it just died.
Anyway.. that was 1 wonderful experience. Just kinda sad that i'm still rather cold and i couldn't worship in camp at all ok. NOT ONCE. Every single session i couldn't worship. I was always FALLING ASLEEP!!!!!!! My goodness. I kept falling asleep while standing during the worship songs ok!! I'm like.. what's up with me!?
Well.. so the camp's over. And this is the spiritual part of it. Tmr then i blog abt the other stuff like the fun stuff and about BAND camp.
TILL THEN!
Anyway youth camp was a wonderful time.
Sure the games were crappy but the spiritual side was WONDERFUL!
Other then the fact that i was often half asleep during the sessions, i think it was okay lar.
During the first night, i went up for the altar call coz like David said those who are dry or can't worship or something.. haiya that kind lar to go up. And i was SO SO DRY ok!!! SO i went lar. And they were singing 'healing rain is falling down, healing rain is falling down, I'm not afraid..'
The words i'm not afraid really gave me courage. I was like Father i'm not afraid anymore so come down and just rain down on me. Let nothing stop you or me.
Then David prayed for me lar. AND THEN.. i slowly felt like every single Cell in my body was vibrating. I was kinda numb and it was kinda uncomfortable. It's like i had the pins and needles feeling just that it was throughout my whole body from top to bottom. It felt as if there was electricity or something going through me lar. It was the first time i encounter something like this. Coz normally you go up you just cry cry lar. It's like it's all a emotion. BUt this is like.. PHYSICAL!!!!!
And also David said that I used to have a passion for God but it has been reduced to a small flame. Almost gone but still there and flickers once in awhile. There are stuff holding me back from having the passion again and he's not sure wad. Once i can break free from the stuff, i will have a passion for God like never before.
And it kinda took me awhile to firgure out what was stopping me lar. Up till now still not so sure.
But the thing is that God hears. God is REAL! He's no fakeroo. Coz i've been praying for a revival for a long long time. I've gotten so dead and so cold. I'm still trying to break free but it'll take time. I can't wait to have a passion for God again!
Actually i wondered when did i ever have a passion for God before i realised it was probably during last year's FOP. Wah.. that experience there really taught me how to worship God and i was so on fire for Him after that lar. Somehow it just died.
Anyway.. that was 1 wonderful experience. Just kinda sad that i'm still rather cold and i couldn't worship in camp at all ok. NOT ONCE. Every single session i couldn't worship. I was always FALLING ASLEEP!!!!!!! My goodness. I kept falling asleep while standing during the worship songs ok!! I'm like.. what's up with me!?
Well.. so the camp's over. And this is the spiritual part of it. Tmr then i blog abt the other stuff like the fun stuff and about BAND camp.
TILL THEN!
Elizabeth
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Friday, December 16, 2005
I'm going for youth camp today!!
And i'm EXPECTING!!
I"M EXPECTING AN ENCOUNTER!!
AH!!! I can't wait for it. WHOOT!
I get to meet God!
GAH!!!!!!
Ok.. that was like super enthu lar.
I'm excited inside. But you won't see me really shouting all these out.
I just have one problem.
I think my heart still is right to play the keyboard. I'm afraid that i will try to steal glory from God. As in i think abt my playing and not Focus on God.
I have until tonight to fix it!!
Oh well you won't hear from me PROBABLY until the 24 Dec!! That's the eve of christmas!
Coz right after youth camp i'm going for band camp and then i have the choir performance.
BUSY BUSY BUSY!!!!!!!
TATA!!
and i'm off to meet my creator!
And i'm EXPECTING!!
I"M EXPECTING AN ENCOUNTER!!
AH!!! I can't wait for it. WHOOT!
I get to meet God!
GAH!!!!!!
Ok.. that was like super enthu lar.
I'm excited inside. But you won't see me really shouting all these out.
I just have one problem.
I think my heart still is right to play the keyboard. I'm afraid that i will try to steal glory from God. As in i think abt my playing and not Focus on God.
I have until tonight to fix it!!
Oh well you won't hear from me PROBABLY until the 24 Dec!! That's the eve of christmas!
Coz right after youth camp i'm going for band camp and then i have the choir performance.
BUSY BUSY BUSY!!!!!!!
TATA!!
and i'm off to meet my creator!
Elizabeth
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Wednesday, December 14, 2005
So i did what i said i would and since Karen wasn't online, i talked to Daniel.
There were a couple of topics so i'll go through it one by one.
Asking..
Ever since I heard Joey share abt the New Creation Church (NCC) camp she went to and the experience she got, i've had questions on my mind. Coz before the camp started, the pastor told them to ask God for 5 things and at the end of the camp, almost all if not all, got the 5 things they asked for. So i was like, If I ask God will He answer? But isn't that rather seld-centered? Shouldn't it be all about God?
And so i went to ask Dan. And he quoted the Bible.
2You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
James 4:2-3
When we ask, we should also DARE to believe that God will answer. We gotta EXPECT God to reply. I can't rmb wad Dan said but it was along the line that when we EXPECT God to work, God will work. Or something like that. Can't really rmb.
Love..
We often equate boy girl love to how we should love God. But loving God is more than that.
It's like when we were young we didn't understand that what we feel for our parents is called love. All we know is when daddy or mummy is not around we miss them.. that kinda thing. But we still love them but just duno it's called love at that time.
Loving God is a little like loving our parents. We want to honor them, please them etc.
So love is an action rather than a feeling.
Faith..
I wondered how to practice Faith. My mind wanted to, but my heart didn't dare to trust.
Dan said e.g we are walking home at night then we feel frighten and so we pray to God. The fact that we turned to God is practicing faith already. When we turn to Him we are acknowledging the fact that He can change something abt the situation that we can't. That He is soverign.
Faith is also kinda linked to expecting.
Experiencing God..
So if we want to grow closer to God, we have to encounter Him. But how?
I was thinking that i should ask God to let me encounter Him. Which brought me back to the asking part. And i realised things were kinda like this.
To Love God we have to encounter Him.
Most of the time, to encounter Him we have to ask.
When we ask we have to dare to expect.
Often, we ask and dun expect anything. We are just waiting for a result. So we are kinda limiting God's work. I think He wants us to expect it before He gives.
So i'm gonna ask God. And really try to expect it. I'm expecting an encounter with God at least ONCE during the camp.
Ok.. i tried my best to cover what we talked abt. I think i missed out certain bits. Haiya.. it was a long conversation and i forgot to save it. So i'm working from memory.
Anyway, many thanks to Daniel who "enlightened" me. HAH.
I felt more relived coz i was less confused.
So you should go ASK ur cell leaders whenever you have qns. Dun wait until they all pile up.
There were a couple of topics so i'll go through it one by one.
Asking..
Ever since I heard Joey share abt the New Creation Church (NCC) camp she went to and the experience she got, i've had questions on my mind. Coz before the camp started, the pastor told them to ask God for 5 things and at the end of the camp, almost all if not all, got the 5 things they asked for. So i was like, If I ask God will He answer? But isn't that rather seld-centered? Shouldn't it be all about God?
And so i went to ask Dan. And he quoted the Bible.
2You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
James 4:2-3
When we ask, we should also DARE to believe that God will answer. We gotta EXPECT God to reply. I can't rmb wad Dan said but it was along the line that when we EXPECT God to work, God will work. Or something like that. Can't really rmb.
Love..
We often equate boy girl love to how we should love God. But loving God is more than that.
It's like when we were young we didn't understand that what we feel for our parents is called love. All we know is when daddy or mummy is not around we miss them.. that kinda thing. But we still love them but just duno it's called love at that time.
Loving God is a little like loving our parents. We want to honor them, please them etc.
So love is an action rather than a feeling.
Faith..
I wondered how to practice Faith. My mind wanted to, but my heart didn't dare to trust.
Dan said e.g we are walking home at night then we feel frighten and so we pray to God. The fact that we turned to God is practicing faith already. When we turn to Him we are acknowledging the fact that He can change something abt the situation that we can't. That He is soverign.
Faith is also kinda linked to expecting.
Experiencing God..
So if we want to grow closer to God, we have to encounter Him. But how?
I was thinking that i should ask God to let me encounter Him. Which brought me back to the asking part. And i realised things were kinda like this.
To Love God we have to encounter Him.
Most of the time, to encounter Him we have to ask.
When we ask we have to dare to expect.
Often, we ask and dun expect anything. We are just waiting for a result. So we are kinda limiting God's work. I think He wants us to expect it before He gives.
So i'm gonna ask God. And really try to expect it. I'm expecting an encounter with God at least ONCE during the camp.
Ok.. i tried my best to cover what we talked abt. I think i missed out certain bits. Haiya.. it was a long conversation and i forgot to save it. So i'm working from memory.
Anyway, many thanks to Daniel who "enlightened" me. HAH.
I felt more relived coz i was less confused.
So you should go ASK ur cell leaders whenever you have qns. Dun wait until they all pile up.
Elizabeth
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Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Just finished choir practice. I actually have lots of comments but i shall not say them coz they are not edifying.
If you noticed, i've been adding less color to the enteries coz i'm getting lazier. HEH =P
Anyway, I'm super tired today after a long day WASTED walking around in shopping Malls. I'm quite upset and the way things were lar. Like everything seemed so messy and disorganised but i shall zip my mouth too.
After dropping by Jere's blog, It remindeded me of some stuff.
Well.. He mentioned how we love God but frankly speaking, in my heart i know i DON'T love God. Which is such a sad thing.
I'm still stuck in the everything's in my head but not my heart phase. I know that God is soverign and all in my HEAD but my HEART does not believe it.
My Head says i should do this and that, i should have FAITH but my HEART does not have it.
Haiz. Up till now i'm still not sure what to do abt it. But my mom says that for Faith to grow, we must practice it. And 1 way to practice it is in situations when you are uncertain but you still GAN GAN (bravely) do it. Faith comes with encounters with God. Through difficult and trying situations.
Anyway, i think I'm gonna talk to Karen or some cell leader to get a better idea of this kinda thing.
If you noticed, i've been adding less color to the enteries coz i'm getting lazier. HEH =P
Anyway, I'm super tired today after a long day WASTED walking around in shopping Malls. I'm quite upset and the way things were lar. Like everything seemed so messy and disorganised but i shall zip my mouth too.
After dropping by Jere's blog, It remindeded me of some stuff.
Well.. He mentioned how we love God but frankly speaking, in my heart i know i DON'T love God. Which is such a sad thing.
I'm still stuck in the everything's in my head but not my heart phase. I know that God is soverign and all in my HEAD but my HEART does not believe it.
My Head says i should do this and that, i should have FAITH but my HEART does not have it.
Haiz. Up till now i'm still not sure what to do abt it. But my mom says that for Faith to grow, we must practice it. And 1 way to practice it is in situations when you are uncertain but you still GAN GAN (bravely) do it. Faith comes with encounters with God. Through difficult and trying situations.
Anyway, i think I'm gonna talk to Karen or some cell leader to get a better idea of this kinda thing.
Elizabeth
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Saturday, December 10, 2005
I'm BAAAACCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!
anyone miss me?
So, after a 4 day camp, 34 hrs w/o sleep and then sleeping for 18 hrs, I'm BACK!
And i'm also TIRED. I slept on the hard HARD floor for 3 nights!! well actually 2.. coz i din sleep on the last night.
Camp was ok for me but it was great to see the kids start daring to raise their hands and start praising God. On the last night I think many got to experience God. Ah.. i guess you can sorta say that our mission is accomplished. The Theme was HEART OF WORSHIP and i guess the kids are now 1 step closer. I just hope it lasts.
On the last night, i guess God spoke to me too.
I realised that God is hurt when ppl who are found in His church, doesn't worship Him. He has been doing so much for them and in all those, His Glory could be seen in it. But they do not see it, and they do not worship Him
I also realised that I should GROW UP spiritually. I should Stop depending on those times when God touches me and I cry to know that He is there.
I should also GO OUT. Worship Him in other ways other than by singing songs. Sharing the word with ppl is also a form of worship. It's time to Give and not just recieve.
Ppl often feel that God's presence leaves after the service is over but actually, He is always there. It's just that we think He has left. We thought wrong.
Anyway i'm kinda sad that camp has ended. It was kinda fun after all. did i mention that my group won? i dun realli understand how we won. Coz the kids are kinda disorganised yet they some how can win some games.
It was a different thing to be a camper and to be a Group leader. And a totally different experience to have 2 GL in a team instead of 1. i kinda clashed with Cheryl a couple of times but we learn to accomodate.
Anyway i'm looking forward to the next camp! the YOUTH camp!!
anyone miss me?
So, after a 4 day camp, 34 hrs w/o sleep and then sleeping for 18 hrs, I'm BACK!
And i'm also TIRED. I slept on the hard HARD floor for 3 nights!! well actually 2.. coz i din sleep on the last night.
Camp was ok for me but it was great to see the kids start daring to raise their hands and start praising God. On the last night I think many got to experience God. Ah.. i guess you can sorta say that our mission is accomplished. The Theme was HEART OF WORSHIP and i guess the kids are now 1 step closer. I just hope it lasts.
On the last night, i guess God spoke to me too.
I realised that God is hurt when ppl who are found in His church, doesn't worship Him. He has been doing so much for them and in all those, His Glory could be seen in it. But they do not see it, and they do not worship Him
I also realised that I should GROW UP spiritually. I should Stop depending on those times when God touches me and I cry to know that He is there.
I should also GO OUT. Worship Him in other ways other than by singing songs. Sharing the word with ppl is also a form of worship. It's time to Give and not just recieve.
Ppl often feel that God's presence leaves after the service is over but actually, He is always there. It's just that we think He has left. We thought wrong.
Anyway i'm kinda sad that camp has ended. It was kinda fun after all. did i mention that my group won? i dun realli understand how we won. Coz the kids are kinda disorganised yet they some how can win some games.
It was a different thing to be a camper and to be a Group leader. And a totally different experience to have 2 GL in a team instead of 1. i kinda clashed with Cheryl a couple of times but we learn to accomodate.
Anyway i'm looking forward to the next camp! the YOUTH camp!!
Elizabeth
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Monday, December 05, 2005
Ok i'm leaving hse soon but i'll make 1 last post.
well.. i guess i'm kinda climbing out from my valley already. A few days ago i was at the valley man. Er.. for those who dun understand, a christian walk is always full of ups and downs. before you get to the top of the moutain, you will ALWAYS encounter a valley.
I kinda forgot abt that until yesterday. David said that when we are serving, we will be at a peak. But before that, God will test us. God will allow the enemy to fool us so that He can test our characters and stuff.
well.. i guess i'm kinda climbing out from my valley already. A few days ago i was at the valley man. Er.. for those who dun understand, a christian walk is always full of ups and downs. before you get to the top of the moutain, you will ALWAYS encounter a valley.
I kinda forgot abt that until yesterday. David said that when we are serving, we will be at a peak. But before that, God will test us. God will allow the enemy to fool us so that He can test our characters and stuff.
Elizabeth
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Sunday, December 04, 2005
HELLO!!!!!!!
I'm going for children church camp TMR!!
So i probably won't blog until fri or maybe sat. Maybe i'll make 1 last post tmr. maybe not. SEE HOW.
Ok.. i just found out that my dad watched fiddler on the roof before. I watched the front of it before. Coz my dad was saying IF I WERE A RICH MAN. then i got the TRADITION song stuck on my head. Then the IF I WERE A RICH MAN got stuck too. HAH.
I think most of you won't understand wad i'm talking abt. HAH. For those who went to zihan's hse to understand ok.
Hmm.. i think for group cheer i'm gonna kop something from Charlie and the chocolate factory or the fiddler on the roof. HAH. coz they got retarded songs. HAH.
anyway hopefully i'll learn to have a heart of worship too along with the campers.
I'm gone tmr!! MISS ME OK!!!!
I'm going for children church camp TMR!!
So i probably won't blog until fri or maybe sat. Maybe i'll make 1 last post tmr. maybe not. SEE HOW.
Ok.. i just found out that my dad watched fiddler on the roof before. I watched the front of it before. Coz my dad was saying IF I WERE A RICH MAN. then i got the TRADITION song stuck on my head. Then the IF I WERE A RICH MAN got stuck too. HAH.
I think most of you won't understand wad i'm talking abt. HAH. For those who went to zihan's hse to understand ok.
Hmm.. i think for group cheer i'm gonna kop something from Charlie and the chocolate factory or the fiddler on the roof. HAH. coz they got retarded songs. HAH.
anyway hopefully i'll learn to have a heart of worship too along with the campers.
I'm gone tmr!! MISS ME OK!!!!
Elizabeth
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Today is a RETARDED day.
Coz our school band totally threw our face away. YEAH!!!
both the seniors and the juniors. YEAH!!
Coz, the juniors played some christmas songs, and the seniors SANG to it.
The band wasn't really in tune but the "Choir" was worse. HAH.
STill.. it was FUN! I think only we(the seniors) enjoyed ourselves. HAH.
Coz we were semi high and had fun being retarded lar.
2 week band break has started. And all the camps are coming. Gonna be BUSY BUSY BUSY!!
I'm gonna miss my fellow cornertist. I have to admit that the holiday practice helped us to bond together. All the retarded times we had. Being the only section that laughed when no one else is laughing. HAH. And to NOT PLAY when we are suppose to play. Gah.. anyway 2 weeks isn't veri long.
Coz our school band totally threw our face away. YEAH!!!
both the seniors and the juniors. YEAH!!
Coz, the juniors played some christmas songs, and the seniors SANG to it.
The band wasn't really in tune but the "Choir" was worse. HAH.
STill.. it was FUN! I think only we(the seniors) enjoyed ourselves. HAH.
Coz we were semi high and had fun being retarded lar.
2 week band break has started. And all the camps are coming. Gonna be BUSY BUSY BUSY!!
I'm gonna miss my fellow cornertist. I have to admit that the holiday practice helped us to bond together. All the retarded times we had. Being the only section that laughed when no one else is laughing. HAH. And to NOT PLAY when we are suppose to play. Gah.. anyway 2 weeks isn't veri long.
Elizabeth
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Saturday, December 03, 2005
Hmmm.. read some christian articles yesterday.
I dun have to worry abt the future. Coz even though i duno what the future holds, i know who is holding it. I can't believe i actually forgot abt tht and tht's why i worry until like that. In the end, everything will still work for good and not for evil. So i can finally rest my case abt the future.
As for my walk with God, i realised that i have been enduring religion and not having a personal walk with God. I've been doing things a christian would do because that's my religion and not because I have a close walk with God.
Jesus said in the bible "If any man thirst, let him come unto Me, and drink." He wants thirsty ppl, not EMPTY ppl. How much we have of God, is actually how much we want. We don't have more because we don't want more. So I'm asking God to give me a burning, blistering thirst. And Jesus is the water. Holiness is not the way to Christ; Christ is the way to holiness.
However, we often come but not drink. To drink, we must drink by faith. Many ppl know this and say yes, Christ is the answer and they get that into their heads, notebooks, bibles but NOT INTO THE HEART. There comes a time when we need to believe Him and say, "My heart is thirsty for the blessing. I will receive the Lord Jesus. I take Him by faith." We must drink.
We are so close yet we miss it. So now i'm trying to drink by faith. Like i said before, i know this in my head but not in my heart. I still have to figure out how the information is suppose to be transfered to the heart. Maybe it's through difficult times that it gets transferred.
For now, i'm focusing on trying to drink from Jesus. TO Drink in more of Him. To thirst for Him.
I dun have to worry abt the future. Coz even though i duno what the future holds, i know who is holding it. I can't believe i actually forgot abt tht and tht's why i worry until like that. In the end, everything will still work for good and not for evil. So i can finally rest my case abt the future.
As for my walk with God, i realised that i have been enduring religion and not having a personal walk with God. I've been doing things a christian would do because that's my religion and not because I have a close walk with God.
Jesus said in the bible "If any man thirst, let him come unto Me, and drink." He wants thirsty ppl, not EMPTY ppl. How much we have of God, is actually how much we want. We don't have more because we don't want more. So I'm asking God to give me a burning, blistering thirst. And Jesus is the water. Holiness is not the way to Christ; Christ is the way to holiness.
However, we often come but not drink. To drink, we must drink by faith. Many ppl know this and say yes, Christ is the answer and they get that into their heads, notebooks, bibles but NOT INTO THE HEART. There comes a time when we need to believe Him and say, "My heart is thirsty for the blessing. I will receive the Lord Jesus. I take Him by faith." We must drink.
We are so close yet we miss it. So now i'm trying to drink by faith. Like i said before, i know this in my head but not in my heart. I still have to figure out how the information is suppose to be transfered to the heart. Maybe it's through difficult times that it gets transferred.
For now, i'm focusing on trying to drink from Jesus. TO Drink in more of Him. To thirst for Him.
Elizabeth
chirped at
11:33 AM
|
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Friday, December 02, 2005
Be WARNED. today's post is just full of complaints so NO COLORS at all.
You can jump to the tagboard now.
--------------------------------------------
I'm feeling down down down.
I found out that my mom wasn't realli interested in working again. Money is tight and she doesn't FEEL like working?!?! And she goes on abt how a lot of ppl tell her to be housewife long ago but she never coz she is a workaholic. She say how other ppl the father earning less than my dad but the mother is a housewife so we should be able to manage.
I guess I want her to work coz i'm being selfish. Coz if she doesn't work means we have less money so i get less of what i want.
I'm so sick of feeling guilty everytime i have to open my mouth and ask them for something. Even if it is a NEED and not a WANT, i still feel guilty. I want to work but how? There's still school. I can only work as a tutor or teacher or something. But who will hire a 14 yr old to teach their kid!?
Well.. i'm actually feeling down more likely coz my hopes were dash rather than the prospect of having less income.
I was hoping my mom will get a job soon and things will get back to normal. Then i can go to sweden and i can get more clothes so i dun have to choose between 2 pants and 5 shirts each time i want to go out. and you wonder why i always wear the same thing. Or maybe it's just me. even if i had a dozen clothes i will still look as if i am always wearing the same thing.
Oh well.. i guess i can live with having to stretch money a bit. But i still want to go to Sweden and i think i won't be. Coz that money can be used to pay all the house bills instead of a 5 day trip. Even if my dad was willing i dun think i can bear it on my conscience to do something like that. It means the whole family will have to pinch even more.
I'm suddenly reminded of a TAG i did some time ago. Abt how God has to exist or we have no hope. That's what i'm thinking now.
Even when i'm at a spiritual stand still, i still have a little hope that God will provide. My brain knows that but my heart only believes 20% of it. If I didn't believe God existed, i think i would be feeling a lot more worse than this.
My heart just won't listen to what my head says in terms of christian related stuff. I know i should just commit it to God's hands and have faith but i dun seem to be having much faith.
I really like the song SHOW ME UR FACE right now. Coz i really want to See God.
Things may not be good now but i'm hoping that through this i can know God more.
You can jump to the tagboard now.
--------------------------------------------
I'm feeling down down down.
I found out that my mom wasn't realli interested in working again. Money is tight and she doesn't FEEL like working?!?! And she goes on abt how a lot of ppl tell her to be housewife long ago but she never coz she is a workaholic. She say how other ppl the father earning less than my dad but the mother is a housewife so we should be able to manage.
I guess I want her to work coz i'm being selfish. Coz if she doesn't work means we have less money so i get less of what i want.
I'm so sick of feeling guilty everytime i have to open my mouth and ask them for something. Even if it is a NEED and not a WANT, i still feel guilty. I want to work but how? There's still school. I can only work as a tutor or teacher or something. But who will hire a 14 yr old to teach their kid!?
Well.. i'm actually feeling down more likely coz my hopes were dash rather than the prospect of having less income.
I was hoping my mom will get a job soon and things will get back to normal. Then i can go to sweden and i can get more clothes so i dun have to choose between 2 pants and 5 shirts each time i want to go out. and you wonder why i always wear the same thing. Or maybe it's just me. even if i had a dozen clothes i will still look as if i am always wearing the same thing.
Oh well.. i guess i can live with having to stretch money a bit. But i still want to go to Sweden and i think i won't be. Coz that money can be used to pay all the house bills instead of a 5 day trip. Even if my dad was willing i dun think i can bear it on my conscience to do something like that. It means the whole family will have to pinch even more.
I'm suddenly reminded of a TAG i did some time ago. Abt how God has to exist or we have no hope. That's what i'm thinking now.
Even when i'm at a spiritual stand still, i still have a little hope that God will provide. My brain knows that but my heart only believes 20% of it. If I didn't believe God existed, i think i would be feeling a lot more worse than this.
My heart just won't listen to what my head says in terms of christian related stuff. I know i should just commit it to God's hands and have faith but i dun seem to be having much faith.
I really like the song SHOW ME UR FACE right now. Coz i really want to See God.
Things may not be good now but i'm hoping that through this i can know God more.
Elizabeth
chirped at
8:24 PM
|
No comments
Thursday, December 01, 2005
i feel like a band freak today!!!
I did band related stuff from 8.30 am to 5.30 pm. That's 9 HOURS of band stuff.
Band break is coming. Camps are coming. School is starting. GAH.
Concert is coming. My high C is NOT coming. GAH.
You do not have to read from here onwards. The below is just for me to channel my fustrations.
-----------------------------------------------------
HAiz..
I made a discover yesterday night. I've been faking all the while. I've been trying to be a good christian and trying to get close to God. I've always wondered why i'm not close to God. It's like coz I know quite a bit ABOUT Him. But i duno Him personally. There's no intimacy. W/O that how can I be close to Him?? But i'm not sure wad i can do other than to pray. Coz if i try reading the bible, i end up KNOWING more abt Him but not know Him.
Sometimes i wonder if second generation christians have to back slide before they can get close to God. I dun want to back slide but i dun want to leave a life trying to please a God i dun really know.
Children camp is coming. I'm feeling spiritually dead. How am i gonna try and teach them abt the heart of worship when i dun even have it myself.
I'm just lost right now. Unsure of what to do now. I guess i just have to keep praying. Even though i feel tht i dun realli know God, i am veri certain that the God i want to believe in is REAL and is the ONE and ONLY God. I've encountered Him enough to know this. But from here.. i'm still stuck.
I wish i was like the girl in the picture now. I'm standing on a mountain top. and i spread my arms and shout to the heavens.. FATHER! REVEAL YOURSELF TO ME! JUST REVEAL YOURSELF TO ME! SHOW ME WHO YOU ARE!!
A pity, i would never do that even if i could. I can only do it in my imagination. Coz i dun have the guts.
I did band related stuff from 8.30 am to 5.30 pm. That's 9 HOURS of band stuff.
Band break is coming. Camps are coming. School is starting. GAH.
Concert is coming. My high C is NOT coming. GAH.
You do not have to read from here onwards. The below is just for me to channel my fustrations.
-----------------------------------------------------
HAiz..
I made a discover yesterday night. I've been faking all the while. I've been trying to be a good christian and trying to get close to God. I've always wondered why i'm not close to God. It's like coz I know quite a bit ABOUT Him. But i duno Him personally. There's no intimacy. W/O that how can I be close to Him?? But i'm not sure wad i can do other than to pray. Coz if i try reading the bible, i end up KNOWING more abt Him but not know Him.
Sometimes i wonder if second generation christians have to back slide before they can get close to God. I dun want to back slide but i dun want to leave a life trying to please a God i dun really know.
Children camp is coming. I'm feeling spiritually dead. How am i gonna try and teach them abt the heart of worship when i dun even have it myself.
I'm just lost right now. Unsure of what to do now. I guess i just have to keep praying. Even though i feel tht i dun realli know God, i am veri certain that the God i want to believe in is REAL and is the ONE and ONLY God. I've encountered Him enough to know this. But from here.. i'm still stuck.
I wish i was like the girl in the picture now. I'm standing on a mountain top. and i spread my arms and shout to the heavens.. FATHER! REVEAL YOURSELF TO ME! JUST REVEAL YOURSELF TO ME! SHOW ME WHO YOU ARE!!
A pity, i would never do that even if i could. I can only do it in my imagination. Coz i dun have the guts.
Elizabeth
chirped at
10:23 PM
|
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