i knew the calendar would not forget...
06.04.13 marked four years post-transplant for our survivor and her donor! woohoo!!!
unbelievable that cam's conquered for years and here's hoping for a million more!
love ya cam...
love ya wy...
yep, not a day goes by that i don't thank the lord for the wonder of your both. we love you to the moon and back, always.
you both are the megaphones in our life telling us that God isn't finished writing our family's story. thank you for being the reminder of how good God is...even in the midst of the storm.
love you. xoxo
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
heavy heart...
some days the world we knew at ucla meets the world we know now and the collision can be an emotional mess...
when camryn relapsed and we were going to ucla every monday - friday for 8 weeks we came to be friends with a six-year-old boy d and his momma j. as camryn and d would chat about the shows they were watching i found a common thread with j and it was so wonderful.
their family had been walking this journey a long time...d had relapsed too...they were scared, frightened of what the future might hold. we talked about treatments, radiation, doctors, school, and everything in between. j and i became friends over many an hour in the procedure center.
in fact one of my most telling moments as a mom of a child with cancer came with j. camryn and d had finished treatment at the same time so we left the procedure center together, rode the elevator all the while watching the two of them laugh and play...it was good for our hearts. as we were walking through the lobby a lady said, "look at that little boy, how sad..." you see d had the notorious bald head of a cancer child...but, camryn did not, she looked "healthy". this moment always stuck with me about cancer children...no one truly knows how sick they are by looking at the outside.
after we moved through transplant and now almost four years past that point j and i are FB friends, we would send messages now and then. i would check their blog for updates on d and pray that someday he'd be healed.
well, today he is healed...in the arms of Jesus.
d passed away this morning after brain tumors relentlessly attacked his mind over and over. it has been a long hard struggle for d's family...my heart aches for them. their life was d and his fight and now they have to try to put the pieces back together.
i love d...i love j. they met me at a time when i needed them most and i thank the lord they were there.
i am sad. sad for all that cancer robs people of. sad that d did not make it to his birthday this weekend. sad that there is a mom who has devoted much of her life the past four years fighting, advocating, and caring for her son.
and really...i struggle with the reality of camryn's cancer all over. it all just hits so close to home and there are no words to suffice.
but, i lean into the One who knows. i've cried tears and i've smiled. all the while leaning into Jesus believing, hoping that He will carry j through.
until then...
when camryn relapsed and we were going to ucla every monday - friday for 8 weeks we came to be friends with a six-year-old boy d and his momma j. as camryn and d would chat about the shows they were watching i found a common thread with j and it was so wonderful.
their family had been walking this journey a long time...d had relapsed too...they were scared, frightened of what the future might hold. we talked about treatments, radiation, doctors, school, and everything in between. j and i became friends over many an hour in the procedure center.
in fact one of my most telling moments as a mom of a child with cancer came with j. camryn and d had finished treatment at the same time so we left the procedure center together, rode the elevator all the while watching the two of them laugh and play...it was good for our hearts. as we were walking through the lobby a lady said, "look at that little boy, how sad..." you see d had the notorious bald head of a cancer child...but, camryn did not, she looked "healthy". this moment always stuck with me about cancer children...no one truly knows how sick they are by looking at the outside.
after we moved through transplant and now almost four years past that point j and i are FB friends, we would send messages now and then. i would check their blog for updates on d and pray that someday he'd be healed.
well, today he is healed...in the arms of Jesus.
d passed away this morning after brain tumors relentlessly attacked his mind over and over. it has been a long hard struggle for d's family...my heart aches for them. their life was d and his fight and now they have to try to put the pieces back together.
i love d...i love j. they met me at a time when i needed them most and i thank the lord they were there.
i am sad. sad for all that cancer robs people of. sad that d did not make it to his birthday this weekend. sad that there is a mom who has devoted much of her life the past four years fighting, advocating, and caring for her son.
and really...i struggle with the reality of camryn's cancer all over. it all just hits so close to home and there are no words to suffice.
but, i lean into the One who knows. i've cried tears and i've smiled. all the while leaning into Jesus believing, hoping that He will carry j through.
until then...
Monday, May 13, 2013
the one where...
if you are anything like me you lived the late 90's, 2000's glued to the television on thursday nights to watch f.r.i.e.n.d.s. and you know they titled every episode "the one where..."
anyways...last monday i met wyatt at his classroom to say hi, get his backpack, and send him off to mathletes. he complained that his ear was hurting and i thought that was odd, no other symptoms of an ear ache. no fever, no runny rose, nothin'. like a good mom i asked the questions trying to assess the situation (a.k.a. was he trying to get out of mathletes). finally, he says, "mom, i have an eraser in my ear." no.joke. i was surprised, shocked, and when i looked in his ear and saw a piece of something pushed way back i thought "oh my goodness...what in the world!"
i quickly thought and called his doctor while we walked to the nurses office...maybe the nurse can help us. the nurse confirmed it was in there deep and he'd have to go to the doctor. thankfully, his doctor said bring him in...i was so glad a trip to the ER had been avoided. seriously, what level of triage is an eraser in the ear...this coming from the mom of a childhood cancer survivor knowing how to play the ER card in her favor.
we drove to the doctor, all the while camryn giving wyatt the what for in the backseat because she was bitter that she was not going to get to go to the book fair. yes, we have some work to do on being concerned about her brother. i guess she sort of knew that an eraser in the ear was not the end of the world by her standards.
nonetheless...
we waited at the doctor's office and finally got to see dr.k. i was proud of wyatt who answered dr.k's questions like the six-and-a-half-year-old he is. she took one look and said, "i think i can get it!" woohoo...no ER for us! dr.k with the help of a nice med student got the eraser out of wyatt's ear, and let me say it was no small piece. seriously, this kid had a hunk of eraser in his ear.
as we were leaving the doctor's office wyatt says, "you know mom it really was hurting me, but i can take it." seriously, this kid of mine and his perspective on medical issues.
we got in the car drove home and camryn the whole time was saying she was so happy her brother was okay, that she was sorry she was being selfish, and she really didn't want him to have to go to ucla.
here's the irony...wyatt asked if dr.k couldn't see him could he go to ucla and see dr.m (camryn's oncologist) because dr.m takes great care of camryn and she had leukemia so he can take care of him. seriously?
sometimes i just smile at my children's perspective on life...no medical issue seems all that serious. that is unless it warrants a trip to ucla. i guess ucla means it is bad, really bad...but, yet my children find extreme comfort there.
well, tragedy avoided...all is okay. and i was thankful that once again we were taken sweet care of by dr.k. love her.
so, it was the one where wyatt got an eraser stuck in his ear. ;)
anyways...last monday i met wyatt at his classroom to say hi, get his backpack, and send him off to mathletes. he complained that his ear was hurting and i thought that was odd, no other symptoms of an ear ache. no fever, no runny rose, nothin'. like a good mom i asked the questions trying to assess the situation (a.k.a. was he trying to get out of mathletes). finally, he says, "mom, i have an eraser in my ear." no.joke. i was surprised, shocked, and when i looked in his ear and saw a piece of something pushed way back i thought "oh my goodness...what in the world!"
i quickly thought and called his doctor while we walked to the nurses office...maybe the nurse can help us. the nurse confirmed it was in there deep and he'd have to go to the doctor. thankfully, his doctor said bring him in...i was so glad a trip to the ER had been avoided. seriously, what level of triage is an eraser in the ear...this coming from the mom of a childhood cancer survivor knowing how to play the ER card in her favor.
we drove to the doctor, all the while camryn giving wyatt the what for in the backseat because she was bitter that she was not going to get to go to the book fair. yes, we have some work to do on being concerned about her brother. i guess she sort of knew that an eraser in the ear was not the end of the world by her standards.
nonetheless...
we waited at the doctor's office and finally got to see dr.k. i was proud of wyatt who answered dr.k's questions like the six-and-a-half-year-old he is. she took one look and said, "i think i can get it!" woohoo...no ER for us! dr.k with the help of a nice med student got the eraser out of wyatt's ear, and let me say it was no small piece. seriously, this kid had a hunk of eraser in his ear.
as we were leaving the doctor's office wyatt says, "you know mom it really was hurting me, but i can take it." seriously, this kid of mine and his perspective on medical issues.
we got in the car drove home and camryn the whole time was saying she was so happy her brother was okay, that she was sorry she was being selfish, and she really didn't want him to have to go to ucla.
here's the irony...wyatt asked if dr.k couldn't see him could he go to ucla and see dr.m (camryn's oncologist) because dr.m takes great care of camryn and she had leukemia so he can take care of him. seriously?
sometimes i just smile at my children's perspective on life...no medical issue seems all that serious. that is unless it warrants a trip to ucla. i guess ucla means it is bad, really bad...but, yet my children find extreme comfort there.
well, tragedy avoided...all is okay. and i was thankful that once again we were taken sweet care of by dr.k. love her.
so, it was the one where wyatt got an eraser stuck in his ear. ;)
Sunday, May 5, 2013
may...
life seems to be passing me by at a frantic pace...honestly, i'm not sure where are days are going, but when i look at the calendar they are surely going somewhere.
here's a bullet list update on life:
* wyatt's been playing baseball and doing really well, he loves it! he mostly plays second base which is his favorite, as he told one of his coaches, "i like playing second, it has more action!" ha! he's enjoying it immensely, and for being the youngest on his team (and by far the littlest) he is holding his own and doing really well. we are so proud of him! he also has been involved with the kids choir at church. at first he refused to be a part of the program, but with some urging from his sister and his cousin he decided to join the fun. he sang in the choir and did great, so proud of him for doing something completely outside his comfort zone! far as school he is doing fantastic! first grade has been a terrific year for him and he has grown so much it's amazing. he is very excited this week as it's open house and his class has baby chicks...fun times in 1st grade. he also graduated from speech therapy this past week...yay! he has mastered his "R" sound and is doing really well, so thankful he did so well with ms. pat...what a blessing! wyatt has been doing lots and lots these days...but, really we just so enjoy our boy and his love of life. he's a treasure.
* camryn is doing super well! health wise she is doing great, holding her own and just living life as a normal 9 year old would...it's a blessing for sure. she fights some sinus issues, but that's always been an issue. really, for all that could be we are so thankful for her daily health and life...a gift beyond measure. she auditioned for a speaking part in the kids musical at church, she got the part of rachel and has thoroughly enjoyed it! we've been hard pressed to find something for camryn to do, and excel at...physical stuff isn't such her strength so this seemed to be a great fit. the performance was this weekend and she did GREAT!! she knew her lines, sang her songs, and just did so well...really, she's an artsy fartsy for sure! we are going to look into a drama performing arts camp this summer...it's something she loves and it fits her well. school has been going really well, she made honor roll 3rd quarter! woohoo! we were so proud! when camryn's doctors told us to watch and see if we notice any delays or learning issues we are happy to say nope...she excels at school and does her best. at times i have stop and just watch her on the playground or walking with her friends, camryn's living the life she's always longed for to the fullest! we love our girl so incredibly much, so grateful for her.
* jason is working hard these days, only a few more weeks of school and then he'll be on vacation! this year has gone quickly, but not without lausd drama. we are thankful for his job, but sometimes we could do without all the drama that swirls around. he's started playing men's softball again, an every year tradition...his friday nights will be at the field. he stepped in to the manager job for wyatt's team...long story short jason is the head coach. it doesn't seem like a lot, but really 2 practices and 2 games a week make for a very busy week for him and wy...but the time they spend together is priceless. i love watching them...it does my heart well to watch jay take such great care of his wy guy.
* i'm busily finishing up graduate school...june 15th is the day! woohoo...i can feel it coming, and i cannot wait. there are four weeks left in my teaching life and it's going well...thankful for my students for another year has come and gone and i've learned much from them. i spend a lot of time taxiing kids around and trying to get laundry done in time for the next event. i wouldn't have it any other way...my life is full, very full. i am thankful for all that the lord keeps reminding me of and all that he teaches me daily. i am grateful for summer coming and a time to take a break and enjoy the lazy days. life is busy...but, i savor the moments when it's still and quiet!
all in all us four mikels are doing well...
ready to start the countdown until school's out!!!
here's a bullet list update on life:
* wyatt's been playing baseball and doing really well, he loves it! he mostly plays second base which is his favorite, as he told one of his coaches, "i like playing second, it has more action!" ha! he's enjoying it immensely, and for being the youngest on his team (and by far the littlest) he is holding his own and doing really well. we are so proud of him! he also has been involved with the kids choir at church. at first he refused to be a part of the program, but with some urging from his sister and his cousin he decided to join the fun. he sang in the choir and did great, so proud of him for doing something completely outside his comfort zone! far as school he is doing fantastic! first grade has been a terrific year for him and he has grown so much it's amazing. he is very excited this week as it's open house and his class has baby chicks...fun times in 1st grade. he also graduated from speech therapy this past week...yay! he has mastered his "R" sound and is doing really well, so thankful he did so well with ms. pat...what a blessing! wyatt has been doing lots and lots these days...but, really we just so enjoy our boy and his love of life. he's a treasure.
* camryn is doing super well! health wise she is doing great, holding her own and just living life as a normal 9 year old would...it's a blessing for sure. she fights some sinus issues, but that's always been an issue. really, for all that could be we are so thankful for her daily health and life...a gift beyond measure. she auditioned for a speaking part in the kids musical at church, she got the part of rachel and has thoroughly enjoyed it! we've been hard pressed to find something for camryn to do, and excel at...physical stuff isn't such her strength so this seemed to be a great fit. the performance was this weekend and she did GREAT!! she knew her lines, sang her songs, and just did so well...really, she's an artsy fartsy for sure! we are going to look into a drama performing arts camp this summer...it's something she loves and it fits her well. school has been going really well, she made honor roll 3rd quarter! woohoo! we were so proud! when camryn's doctors told us to watch and see if we notice any delays or learning issues we are happy to say nope...she excels at school and does her best. at times i have stop and just watch her on the playground or walking with her friends, camryn's living the life she's always longed for to the fullest! we love our girl so incredibly much, so grateful for her.
* jason is working hard these days, only a few more weeks of school and then he'll be on vacation! this year has gone quickly, but not without lausd drama. we are thankful for his job, but sometimes we could do without all the drama that swirls around. he's started playing men's softball again, an every year tradition...his friday nights will be at the field. he stepped in to the manager job for wyatt's team...long story short jason is the head coach. it doesn't seem like a lot, but really 2 practices and 2 games a week make for a very busy week for him and wy...but the time they spend together is priceless. i love watching them...it does my heart well to watch jay take such great care of his wy guy.
* i'm busily finishing up graduate school...june 15th is the day! woohoo...i can feel it coming, and i cannot wait. there are four weeks left in my teaching life and it's going well...thankful for my students for another year has come and gone and i've learned much from them. i spend a lot of time taxiing kids around and trying to get laundry done in time for the next event. i wouldn't have it any other way...my life is full, very full. i am thankful for all that the lord keeps reminding me of and all that he teaches me daily. i am grateful for summer coming and a time to take a break and enjoy the lazy days. life is busy...but, i savor the moments when it's still and quiet!
all in all us four mikels are doing well...
ready to start the countdown until school's out!!!
Sunday, April 14, 2013
momma's away...
i don't travel much, really i'm not much of a traveler. and when i do travel i travel with jason, and the kids in tow...so, to travel without them makes my heart a bit anxious.
this tuesday i leave with fifty-four 8th grade students on their class trip...we're headed to the South. Memphis, Birmingham, Montgomery, and Atlanta to be exact. i'm excited for the trip, as i've been the coordinator and leader and to finally see it here makes me happy. i'm not a travel agent, so to coordinate a trip of this magnitude has been a bit out of my comfort zone.
i'm excited...but, i'm very nervous. i'd appreciate your prayers as we travel, it'll be a whole new experience and i'm anticipating it'll be fabulous.
but, momma's away...so, i've made jason a sheet of what to do. oh, they'll be fine it's more for the assurance of my own heart. :)
hopefully, all will go smoothly and we'll be on our way to memphis on tuesday and on our way home from atlanta on saturday.
until then...
this tuesday i leave with fifty-four 8th grade students on their class trip...we're headed to the South. Memphis, Birmingham, Montgomery, and Atlanta to be exact. i'm excited for the trip, as i've been the coordinator and leader and to finally see it here makes me happy. i'm not a travel agent, so to coordinate a trip of this magnitude has been a bit out of my comfort zone.
i'm excited...but, i'm very nervous. i'd appreciate your prayers as we travel, it'll be a whole new experience and i'm anticipating it'll be fabulous.
but, momma's away...so, i've made jason a sheet of what to do. oh, they'll be fine it's more for the assurance of my own heart. :)
hopefully, all will go smoothly and we'll be on our way to memphis on tuesday and on our way home from atlanta on saturday.
until then...
Thursday, April 11, 2013
nine...
happy birthday camryn lee...
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| you fill our hearts in ways only you can |
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| you give us hope... that god's not finished with your story |
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| you fight a foe that never played fair and are winning |
 |
| you are beautiful |
 |
| you are sweet, fun, talented, creative and simply the best |
 |
| we thank jesus for blessing our lives nine years ago with such a sweet baby girl we are blessed to be your mommy & daddy blessed by what you have taught us about life blessed to have stood by your side while you fought the fight of your life blessed to watch you grow, learn, and love blessed to call you our cam blessed to spend these moments with you as they are a gift you are our hero. you are a daily reminder that jesus does big things you are the god's megaphone in our lives saying over and over "god is good" you are a miracle. you challenge us to live.love.hope.believe. no story ends...and your nine years have been the most unbelievable we cannot wait to see where the next one leads... love you sunshine. love you to the moon and back. forever.always. ~ mommy & daddy xoxo love you cam...you're the best big sister in the world. you are my best friend. you are my favorite person in the world. love you, your lil brother wy  |
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
breathing deeply...
i heart the springtime. i absolutely love the renewed sense of life it brings. i adore easter vacation, the spring break.
this week me and the kids are enjoying our break, a time to just call a time out on life as we know it and enjoy a little bit of life as we love it.
i don't have a lot planned, intentionally so...sometimes i feel that while i'm busy trying to find things to fill our time, the time has passed. so, this week we are just being.
today the kids spent the day with my parents, it was wonderful. i went to breakfast with a dear friend, which was a treat. ran some errands. cleaned, organized, and really just had time for me. it was good therapy.
while i love this time of year...memories lurk.
camryn will be nine this year. how is that possible?!?! but, with her birthday comes a wave of emotions that by now i should really learn to anticipate, but i don't. they caught me today...
as i was cleaning out the kids' homework papers, bookshelf, and all things school...it caught me. the feeling that camryn's birthday always brings...didn't know if we'd get these days.
if i'm brutally honest with myself i had packed camryn's birthday away in the do not dream category...do not plan, do not hope, just let it be. some years i wonder if this is the last birthday (i know that's just an awful thought), but i'm being brutally honest. some years i wonder how it will be to watch her grow older and know that there will be many hard conversations to come over her health and just the stupid side effects that she will navigate for her entire life.
and yet...
most of the time i find myself in the land of the living ever so thankful for camryn's life. the life that she daily lives to fullest. and in those moments i breath deeply...
i breath in those moments to help me through the darker ones...
because the darkness comes. i'd love to say that where camryn is concerned i just bask in the glory of it all and rest securely in my lord's arms, but sometimes i don't. and when i don't the darkness feels as though it will swallow me whole.
tonight is one of those moments when i'm striving towards the light of the lord's glory...knowing that He is good. He always was.is.and will be.
and tonight i'll breath that truth deeply.
this week me and the kids are enjoying our break, a time to just call a time out on life as we know it and enjoy a little bit of life as we love it.
i don't have a lot planned, intentionally so...sometimes i feel that while i'm busy trying to find things to fill our time, the time has passed. so, this week we are just being.
today the kids spent the day with my parents, it was wonderful. i went to breakfast with a dear friend, which was a treat. ran some errands. cleaned, organized, and really just had time for me. it was good therapy.
while i love this time of year...memories lurk.
camryn will be nine this year. how is that possible?!?! but, with her birthday comes a wave of emotions that by now i should really learn to anticipate, but i don't. they caught me today...
as i was cleaning out the kids' homework papers, bookshelf, and all things school...it caught me. the feeling that camryn's birthday always brings...didn't know if we'd get these days.
if i'm brutally honest with myself i had packed camryn's birthday away in the do not dream category...do not plan, do not hope, just let it be. some years i wonder if this is the last birthday (i know that's just an awful thought), but i'm being brutally honest. some years i wonder how it will be to watch her grow older and know that there will be many hard conversations to come over her health and just the stupid side effects that she will navigate for her entire life.
and yet...
most of the time i find myself in the land of the living ever so thankful for camryn's life. the life that she daily lives to fullest. and in those moments i breath deeply...
i breath in those moments to help me through the darker ones...
because the darkness comes. i'd love to say that where camryn is concerned i just bask in the glory of it all and rest securely in my lord's arms, but sometimes i don't. and when i don't the darkness feels as though it will swallow me whole.
tonight is one of those moments when i'm striving towards the light of the lord's glory...knowing that He is good. He always was.is.and will be.
and tonight i'll breath that truth deeply.
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