zone camp was awesome.
i thoroughly enjoyed myself
and i answers to some of my questions.

actually, i dont really know what questions i have.
i just found answers to subconscious questions.




others can, but i cannot.





i'm lovin' this.
worship rehearsal every night from wednesday to sunday!!!! I LOVE IT.




woot.
i wanna do more in church.
church is my life.




---

and just a shoutout to one of my bestest JC friend:
hey, visit the class blog man, got something some things i need to clear up with you.



-dexter

hi,



it's saturday again.
not a pleasant one though.
again.




hope things will be fine!



-dexter

i think heroes is really an awesome tv series.
it's making me go mad.
the suspense is killing me.

oh the power of media and its influence.




lit being the last paper isn't really helping.






neither is being ignored.



-dexter

hi,

i like coke.
i'm just blogging to bring the post about noel down. because it's outdated. he's back to life.




-burp.
coke makes u belch.

oh.







ha ha.



gd morning.



-dexter

okay, i'm gna type a second post today because i want to vent my frustration.




HEROES SEASON 2 EPISODE 8 IS TAKING DARN LONG TO DOWNLOAD >(



-dexter

hi there.


you knw which two values are really difficult to gain control of in life?

1. patience
2. self-control

yeah. it's very seasonal. sometimes you can really take full control of yourself, your thoughts, your actions, and your emotions. sometimes you just feel that the surge of emotions is so great that cutting off a limb may not even be enough to release it all. eeee, sick.

even patience. it takes patience to learn patience.
and when you've finally become more patient, guard it, because patience is a virtue that can be easily lost. yes. patience is a precious valuable that the devil wants to steal.

dexter, re-learn to be patient, and have more self-control over yourself.



oh. i've been spending alot.
not on clothes.
not on music gears.
not on books.
not on gadgets.
but on food. yes. that's right. i've been eating and eating! pastamania, chicken rice, cai tao kuei, prata, kfc, cai fan, and most of all - BUBBLE TEA. oh my goodness. i love bubble tea.

yknw, the following is censored due to extremely explicit content.
NC16 at least.
yeah, so read at your own risk.

i drank blue coral bubble tea yesterday cuz i was curious.
then this morning, before heading off to school i went to pang sai
it was a big pang sai.
everything came out at one go.
SPLAAAAT.
i decided to check out how much i released.
i was appalled.
at least like 5 or 6 pieces. ALL AT ONE GO. WOOO.
here is the worst part.
i used the toilet paper and saw that on the toilet paper...
the residue was GREEN.
oh gosh.
then when i flushed, it looked like wheat grass drink.
GREEN.
i was like. what in the world?
then i recalled that i drank the blue coral bubble tea.
somehow the thick blue syrup mixed with everything i ate
and poof!
green stool (:
HAHAHAHAHA.
once in a life time i'd say.

okay, yup! HAHAHA.


ok.




can't wait to serve God again after A Levels.




-dexter

hi there,

i feel like a bottle full of emotions.
you know, i used to think i am someone who doesn't have the propensity to have much emotions or any negative emotions. i always thought life was happy and everyone else were just exaggerating how things aren't working in their lives.

i was never been upset, never encountered anything to feel dejected, never experienced emotional roller coaster or any form of like, negativity.

but 2007 was a great year to discover that all those that were locked away in me, God pulled all (or maybe only some) of those emotions out. God and I knew that DEXTER cannot move ahead in life without experiencing and learning how to deal with the feelings of the real world.

God, the potter, knew that this pot was badly shaped. not because God did not do a good job, but the clay and the foundations of this pot weren't in good shape when it was submitted for God to mould. He had to smash it apart and rebuild the foundations and mould the pot right from te very start.

yes, getting smashed was a very pretty feeling. at all.

I thank my God for all the events this year which had happened. I somehow know that God wanted me to go through this to teach me how to deal with those emotions that were never experienced in my earlier youth.






yes, until now, i am still learning. and i am still studying in God's School of Emotional Control.
God sure didn't hold back when he allowed scars to be on me. ouch.
those scars and traumas and getting beaten up in the soul weren't pleasant. that's for sure.
But, I believe that if God puts me through this, He will provide the strength for me to pull through.





Before this year, i always wondered:
- why do people cry so often? is life really that sad?
- how come people get angry and frustrated?
- how come people get so insecure and uptight about themselves?
- why do people get so oversensitive?
- how is it that people can be unhappy about their surroundings?
- can't people just stop being over-reactive and just pick themselves up?
- what is there to emo about?!?!

this year, i've learnt that i asked those questions not because I was mature and full of self-control. But it's rather the opposite. I was immature and have not experienced the things that would cause such emotions.

i did not go through enough hardships to learn the hard way. i had the wrong sets of internal values from the very start of my life. worse still, not only had i taken it for granted, i totally forgot about dealing with them.

this year, i would not say i've gone through ALOT of hardships. nah, not like i had the liscence to be depressive or complaining. no one really does. in fact, i would say that there are several instances of troubles i faced, but i chose the wrong way to react. over and over and over and over again. i guess that is why God wanted me to learn how to react the right way. which i have yet to.





i can picture the scene in my head:

God: hey dex, i think there are some things in your internal value system that are not very right.

dex: uh, hmm. i see. ok, we'll see about that. i'll grow out of it.

God: dex, i don't think it'll work that way.

dex: i'll see how it goes all right? let me keep doing the things i love to do!

God: you do know that somethings you love to do aren't supposed to be done right?

dex: oh yes, yes. i know i know~~ i'll change la, don't worry.

God: you'd better deal with it now, or it's going to be really nasty in the future.

--- after 1 or 2 years of taking it for granted. ---

God: okay, i warned you, and it's not going to be pretty.

dex: huh? what thing??

God: it's for your own good, son.

*** God takes a sledge hammer and slam it against dexter real hard ***

dex: ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT HURTS. I'VE NEVER FELT SO MUCH PAIN AND HURT~~ ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! GOD WHAT IS THIS?!?! WHY ?!?!

God: it hurts Me to see you in pain now, but it's for a better you next time. you are My beloved son whom I am well pleased.

dex: well pleased?! THEN WHAT'S THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ARHHHHHH~~~~!!!

God: you will know. you will understand. not yet. but you will. I love you, dex. I'll be here to pull you through, trust Me.

dex: GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD, DON'T DO THIS NOOOO.

__END__


yeah. something like that?
nope, the story is still going on today.
i'm still slowly discovering what God has in store for me.
God, i trust You. like You told me. i'll trust You.









oh, yeah. i had lit paper today.
i dont like writing essays for exams. and i'm tired from all the essays.








can't wait for A Levels to end to serve God AGAIN,
-dexter

hi.

4 more papers.
unfortunately the 4 papers are the most intense papers and the most dreaded 4 papers.

2 papers for lit
2 papers for econs.

all of which i've always had a problem with the limited time limit while trying to write an unbelievable amount of scope in each essays.

besides, writing essay is the most tedious thing about being an arts student.
in fact, math exam papers are so much easier to do. (but harder to study i guess)

just 4 more.











the feelings aren't as strong anymore? to me, it's still the same.
i need to learn to be a person that can give others security.



















grow up, dex.
rise up.








-dexter

when i opened my eyes this morning,
i just felt God tugging at my heart.


He said,
"Not for the human eyes, but for God's eyes."












my itchy hands keep scratching off those big scabs.
i really need to heal.
i'm desperate.
but still not desperate enough.



-dexter

hi there,

math paper 1 was easy like chicken wing.


---



here are some random facts of life you'd probably need to know.

1. if you think ure tolerant when people try to upset you, then try being tolerant when a loved one upsets you

2. chicken wing has two Cs in it.

3. chicken ALSO has two Cs in it.

4. uncopyrightable is the longest word you can spell without repeating any letters.

5. stewardesses is the longest word you can type with only your left hand

6. heroes is the best tv series in the world

7. final fantasy 7 is the best rpg in the world

8. diablo 2 is by far the best action real-time multiplayer game in the world

9. i still find that PW is tougher and more stressful than A levels.

10. preparing a project is worse than preparing an exam

11. human being (especially in our modern society) NEEDS basic comfort, care and concern. without them, one can go berserk and destroy oneself.

12. rosines are usually made of horse urine

13. vector product is another name for cross product.

14. when you try to make things better, usually things will really get better - in the short run.

15. NutriSoy with no added sugar is probably the next healitiest choice to water (or so Calvin CEO says)

16. tears are salty.

17. you'll tend to throw away pride and start to beg when you don't get something you really NEED.

18. bukit batok is darn far from ang mo kio if ure taking public transport.

19. bubble tea is probably the only trend i still follow since primary school.

20. we all need God. ironically, the more you think you don't, the more you do.




-dexter

i feel limited and boundaries are everywhere around me.






can't wait!


-dexter