Wednesday, March 28, 2007
bring it on!
Friday, March 16, 2007
bring it on!
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
i know its all my fault, i know i made the wrong decision and i have to bear all consequences and i know i have no right to do all the whining and all BUT , this is my blog and i want to WHINE!!!! ever since PJC accepted my appeal , i have recieved a average of 3 calls from them DAILY. are they naggy or what ? each time it will be
hello, is this kityee?
*hold breath* yes .
this is Pioneer junior college huh... yada yada
*heart drops*
and each time they'd use different numbers i keep hoping its *ahem* cjay.
well today , when i was clearing my sec 4 stuff , yes i know its a little damn late , another of the 6#$%^& $% calls came.
hello is this kityee ?
*rolls eyes* yes.
catholic jc huh...
*heart leaps , every single cell in me screaming 'omg'*
fgmgrohahh
rgklgtrhkltrnh
gjerghekht
TURNS OUT THAT IT WILL BE THE CALL THAT CRUSH MY LITTLE , SMALL , WEAK , DELICATE, FRAGILE , HURT , TIRED, UNURSED , PATHETIC , LONELY , WOUNDED , SHATTERED ETC ETC HEART.
the call told me that if i didnt actually have a JC to go to now , CJ would actually take me. but i , the insecure ,unfaithful me had alr accepted PJC and now , i cant go back to CJC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can anyone please kill me. she said all JC has actually closed their appeal stuff so yep. no chance. zilch.
yeah yeah i know some may say PJC is good! i love! but lets just say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. some may say aiya last time you everytime complain abt cj now pj you never satisfied with what you have. but but but... *sputters* im just a small girl. 16 going on 17 only. * whisper some defenceless excuse meekly.*
ahhh i cant believe this is happening to me! i hate the i could have but i let slip away feeling. freak. oh ya the vice principal called me to scold me for my " unacceptable" behavior. i told a teacher in PJC and she actually allowed me so at least i was truthful. if you're in my shoes you would have done the same. of cos , i know , if i were you i would have slapped this dumb , imbecile kityee girl. but too bad , its part and parcel of your job. im sure im not the first.
im just rambling. =(
bring it on!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
tags
hf: i'll try my very best to force myself to link you. hah. monday i got app also. shucks. i cant go celebrate your bday and ur prezzie! i forgot i had the dumb app. =(
van: did you see my testi? did you see did you? lunch one sunday?
yixian: haha ya i rmbed too and then i smsed you. lol. i love sausage egg macmuffin with you. more!
esther: haha im happy for you esther! ( i wanted to call you esty cos sweeter but i realised its ur sis's name) i'll believe i'll be fine one day. babies stumble but they'll learn to walk eventually.
nicole : GIMME YOUR HOME ADD! haha really meh. you are then one of the stronger girls i've seen loh. you dunno how easily i cry.
cheryl : thankyou. i hope that and know that happier days will come your way. always back your decisions up with God's word and will and you'll never regret it. im not appealing (99.9%) and i wont regret it. i still have to learn tho.
romeo : i cant rmb. =( but i guess those were the days loh. sigh. faster take me out with the gang. then i wont dwell so much!
bring it on!
Monday, February 26, 2007
toooooooo toooooooo much to say . but theres nothing i can do but to give songs lyrics , which , everyword is hearlt felt to me. do read it guys. take it as said by me. especially you , my darling.
Don't let me go
When I'm this low
Why can't we Talk about it?
Why can't we
Figure it out?
I wanna know
As people grow
How do they sort it all out
Work out
What love is about
So tell me now yeah
I've gotta know
When this feeling
I've got won't let go
light in your eyes. (amendments made to suit my situation)
I can remember the last time that we kissed goodbye
All our "I love you's" were just not enough to survive
Something your eyes never told me
But it's only now too plain to see
Brilliant disguise when you hold me
And I'm free
I've been thinking and here's what I've come to conclude
Sometimes the distance is more than two people can use
But how could I have known boy
It was space and not time you would need
Darling tonight I could hold you and you would know
But would you believe
There's a light in your eyes that I used to see
There's a place in your heart where I used to be
Was I wrong to assume that you were waiting for me
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me
Cards and phone calls and photograph pictures of you
Constant reminder of all the things you get used to
Is there a chance in hell or heaven
That there's still something here to build on
Or do you just pick up the pieces after they fall
But after all
There's a light in your eyes that I used to see
And a song in the words that you spoke to me
Was I wrong to believe in your melody
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me
Should I keep on waiting or does love keep on fading away
Fading away
It's been a while since I've seen you so how have you been
Did you get my letter I wrote you, but I did not send
I tried to call your old number
But the voice that I heard on the phone
I recognized but she told me the number was wrong
There's a light in my eyes but it's too bright to see
And a pain in my heart where you used to be
Guess I was wrong to assume that you were waiting here for me
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me
for he meant "i dont care babe who's right or wrong ( or what problems might be) , i just dont love you no more". so many thousand songs can represent how i feel but none an feel it for me. none can take my place and go through it for me. ( feel the rain on ur skin , no one else can feel it for you. only you can feel it .... ) all and more for nothing. it was washed away along tears. in school , i learnt what sublime meant. the moment when the emotion gets so intensed and so deep that words cannot express it. the feeling of sublime has invaded me , my entire being and all.
bring it on!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
yesterday was CNY eve. papa picked my grandma up from ECON and i got the shock of my life. she looks so sunken! she used to be this plump old woman , talking non stop and always scolding us for being rude to her precious son, my papa. now , her eyes are so sunken and her legs are the size of my arm. serious! that thin .omg .
and she doesnt speak anything. only very rarely. she doesnt remember me , or my sisters , even herself. only my dad and my mum. relatives always say "she'll remember no one but my dad even to her deathbed." (my dad's the only son in the family. he has 2 others sisters) she asked me dad in cantonese " ah yek , ngor hai bing gor? ngor mm ji dou ngor hai bing gor." ( , who am i ? i duno who i am). kwan ying hong . thats my grandma.
shes changed so much i couldnt take my eyes off her. shes totally invalid and its just so painful to look at my democratic and loud and talkative grandma become like that.
what if i become senile like her? i would rather die. seriously. in fact , i wish God can take me anytime now. just so tired of being kityee. if i could just run awayfrom being kityee from one day. if only i could just spend one day as a soul , looking into the lives of others. if only i could just not exsist.
shes back at ECON now. but going to my aunt's house tmr. i wonder if the people there really give her all the care. shes so much weaker now.
on a lighter note , my anuty as like talking about my grandma's bed neighbours and all their funny moments. damn funny can. and also her own father in law. hes 91 and he only ate cake and ONLY cake for one whole year and his sugar lvl is amazingly and scarily high. and he claps his hands and pee and poo on the bed cos he refuse to go toilet. haiya. i really see alot of life through my relatives. cos their lives , i tell you , is so amazingly colourful and drama. really.
bring it on!
yesterday was CNY eve. papa picked my grandma up from ECON and i got the shock of my life. she looks so sunken! she used to be this plump old woman , talking non stop and always scolding us for being rude to her precious son, my papa. now , her eyes are so sunken and her legs are the size of my arm. serious! that thin .omg .
and she doesnt speak anything. only very rarely. she doesnt remember me , or my sisters , even herself. only my dad and my mum. relatives always say "she'll remember no one but my dad even to her deathbed." (my dad's the only son in the family. he has 2 others sisters) she asked me dad in cantonese " ah yek , ngor hai bing gor? ngor mm ji dou ngor hai bing gor." ( , who am i ? i duno who i am). kwan ying hong . thats my grandma.
shes changed so much i couldnt take my eyes off her. shes totally invalid and its just so painful to look at my democratic and loud and talkative grandma become like that.
what if i become senile like her? i would rather die. seriously. in fact , i wish God can take me anytime now. just so tired of being kityee. if i could just run awayfrom being kityee from one day. if only i could just spend one day as a soul , looking into the lives of others. if only i could just not exsist.
shes back at ECON now. but going to my aunt's house tmr. i wonder if the people there really give her all the care. shes so much weaker now.
on a lighter note , my anuty as like talking about my grandma's bed neighbours and all their funny moments. damn funny can. and also her own father in law. hes 91 and he only ate cake and ONLY cake for one whole year and his sugar lvl is amazingly and scarily high. and he claps his hands and pee and poo on the bed cos he refuse to go toilet. haiya. i really see alot of life through my relatives. cos their lives , i tell you , is so amazingly colourful and drama. really.
bring it on!
Friday, February 16, 2007
i want to blog very much. but i duno what to say.
a twist for valentine this year. yet it still told me all.
i am strong when i feel weak, in my brokeness complete.
rise up women of the truth. stand and sing to broken hearts.
who can know the healing power, of our glorious king of love?
we've been through fire, we've ben throught rain
we've been refined by the power of His name.
say to those who are brokent hearted, "do not lose your faith"
the Lord your God is strong with his loving arms.
when you call on his name, He will come and save.
say to the weary one , your God will surely come , he will come and save you.
heres to my sista, cassandra.
There is no one else that I can say this to
And there is nothing better than to talk to you
If you have a problem I'll be here for you'
Cause girl you always know that
Its Us Against The World
I met someone the other night
Someone I really started to like
How will I know if it's right for me
I wonder if we are meant to be
"don't start to like him too much too soon"
You know that boy I started to see
He thinks he can have it all for free
I wonder if he's the one for me
I try to talk to myself into seeing
"Don't start to like him too much too soon"
Whenever you're near there is no fear
Feels like there's nothing I can't do
You make me feel strong'
Cause its here with you that I belong
There ain't nobody else but you
That makes me feel the way that i do
There ain't nobody else but you
i guess they told you for me.
love me , love me not?
bring it on!
