Jesus Rawks My Life

~ Friday, June 15, 2007 ~

sunday - at bali
i looked at you, wondering how things turned out like that.
but i found no answer.

it felt stupid being there
and the Lord said:
whoever puts his hand into the plow and looks back is not fit for the service of His kingdom

monday - in buru
it was a relief to know that we arent in the same group,
though i really wanted to know if it were well at your side.
but i guess it's less awkward this wayy.

but still, there air around felt different.
it was uncomfortable and weird.

then the Lord spoke again:
giving half is as good as giving none at all

i broke down in tears, feeling extremely bad.
i knew i had let Him down.

tuesday- second day in Buru
i woke up, knowing that something has to be done.
God will not send me here to do nothing at all.

so later, when the kids came.
i took up the challenge of teaching chinese to a group of 13 yr olds.
no doubt, i was afraid but i knew that God will be there.
i looked at the kids wondering what to say: wan shang hao?
they stared at me.
i guess i've said it wrong.
so i decided to jump straight into the lesson.
it was weird but it got better!
thank God! (:

later at night,
we went to the 'jetty' to look at the stars.
they were pretty! (:
but behind me, he was telling the story which i had asked
but he didnt not bother to say much about.
the pretty stars couldnt make up for that.

the role that i used to play was now given to him,
(i am sure he'll do a good job)
but the question is: had i messed it up?

i really didnt know what to sayyy.
i stood before the Lord in tears,
asking if i had let Him down in anyway,
praying hard that he would take me back if i did.
i really, really wanted to give it my all.
(but sometimes, it just isnt easy.)

i read the word and it said:
we are not saved through good works but faith and faith alone.
we shall not boast in our own GOOD WORKS but in CHIRST ALONE.

why this verse?
i didnt think much.

wednesday- third day in Buru
we started sharing and realised that we really arent doing much if we do not share the Lord with the kids. we will be there for a month but who will be there after that. yes, the Lord will definitely be there but how are they supposed to know if we who do, do not share Him with them.

the Lord spoke to some and we decided that His name should be lifted and we should share His word with them.

it was amazing! really.
we sang this song in hokkien, a language that is understood by them.
the lyrics went: come believe in Jesus for it is goood!
we sang it to them and they got it real fast.
and soon, we were all singing it together.
it was real cool.

then we sung other other songs, doing the actions and just truly enjoying ourselves, singing His praises.

then i thought of the MM youths.
if they who have never heard of Jesus could sing His praise with so much joy!
why not us?

at night, some saw shooting stars!
i didnt. but i wondered what i would wish for if i saw one. xP
salvation of the people of Buru?
salvation of our friendship?
good results for my summer test?
hahah! but i guess i really didnt need any.
because the one who created them is the one with the ability to grant this wishes (:
so i prayed instead (:

thursday- last day in Buru
first morning out in the 'jetty'
it was like an air-con room.
really, really nice.
just a pity, the sun rose on the other side.
but nevertheless, thank God for the breeze and the company (:

we sat there.
poking fun at one another.
sharing and later,
praying together for the kids and the entire village.

.praying that salvation will fall on the land of Buru.

/ Moonlight / 2:06 AM /

~ Friday, June 08, 2007 ~

it just wont do without you,
now that i've only got eyes for you.
believe me, when i say that we'll be happy together.
trust me, when i say that i just wanna be with you.
give me a chance, will you?

-simply put, iloveyou.

/ Moonlight / 4:09 AM /

~ Tuesday, June 05, 2007 ~

i wish you would come back now now now

hmmm.. but then again, you may not even talk to me.

but still, i miss you.

-wishingyouwereherewithme

/ Moonlight / 7:34 AM /

~ Monday, June 04, 2007 ~

i wish it were just the two of us
but i cant help feeling upset when they say that you like her;
i cant help turning back when they say that you dont care.

it just seems so unreal
it's as if i've been thrown into a world of plastic toys
where the plastered smiles on faces mean nothing at all.
would you tell me why you left?

i would very much love to believe that you're happier now
but it's really ironical
to see you acting as if you dont care
when you used to say 'it's because of you'
it's absurd
to know that you're gone
when you acted as if you treasured this friendship

but really, how do you expect me to know?
tell me how am i suppose to think
now that you're not saying a thing

-i'llsayyoumeantheworldtome

it's hard
when your name appears on every page of my notes
when the song i hear chants your name
when even the stars join to form your name

/ Moonlight / 11:29 PM /

when you entered my life, my world changed.
i knew almost immediately that God had sent an angel in response to my prayers.
everything was so perfect; it was almost as if heaven came down to earth.
every morning, i would wake up knowing that you'll be there.
every night, i would lie in my bed smiling at the times we spent together.
and everytime i count my blessings, they just never seem to end.

but why are you leaving so soon?
is it me? cause if it is, i'll change?
give us another chance, will you?
it just isnt the same without you.

-imissyoualotalotalot

/ Moonlight / 9:08 AM /