Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Barbarian Gods (western)
BARBARIAN GODS (western)
WAHU, Who Administers the Sacred Cut
Taught mankind the Peaceful Cut, which allows animals to die without pain and sends them to the good afterlife.
Teaches men to survive and fulfill the circle of life or whatever. gives men moral guidance in life. renders the meat of the animal.
guides animals and men into death. Promises that Heroes shall never die. Teaches men warfare. priests are spiritual leaders / social psychiatrists and preside over many important functions of hunter-gatherer society
Epithets: Gentle One, Found-Child, Peaceful Slayer, Butcher-God
BONE-SMITH GOD, the Sculptor of Corpses
Processes the dead animal to make tools. Melts hooves & bones for glue. Uses feathers for fletching. Uses bones as needles or arrowheads.
Tans and sews hides. Makes bowstrings from guts. Makes thread from hair. Renders dead trees into timber and charcoal. Renders the Earth's bones
into knives and other tools. mastered fire and invented art, weapons and traps.
Works with Wahu to ensure nothing goes to waste. Guides dead animals to the afterlife. priests are craftsmen; better craftmanship = more favor, but they are viewed as creepy corpse-handlers by some. Sometimes said to be an aspect of the
Iron Lord
Epithets: Great Renderer, Skinner-God, Old Bones, Rattler
DOG-FRIEND, Who Guards the Herd
Simple god who is friend to gentle animals. Protects the herd and also disciplines them. He & Wahu are allies.
Guards the spirits of animals on their way to and from the afterlife. Chases Sun-Elk across the sky and eats her at night.
Then he regrets it and howls at the moon til she is re-incarnated the next morning.
Priests are intelligent dogs or dog-trainers or people who love dogs. this cult is mostly popular amongst the Dog Folk Tribe and is considered subsidiary by all other Animal Nomad Folk
Epithets: Brother-Dog
MOTHER DARKNESS
Friends: None. Primordial goddess. Lives in the dark places of the Earth and between the stars. Ally of creatures which prefer
darkness. Teaches witchcraft, shape-changing, how to stay hidden and contact spirits. Some say all will return to her one day
GRANDFATHER MORTALITY, Who Judges the Dead
The first man, and also the first to die. Sun-Elk licked him from the ice. Mated with Mother Darkness and so produced the human race.
Resides in the afterworld and judges men according to their deeds. Jealous of the living.
Epithets: Flesh-Man
SUN-ELK
the first animal, a cow with nourishing teats who also carries the sun in her antlers. she licked Grandfather Mortality from the Primordial Ice.
Nourishes the world with her milk.
The MOUNTAIN that WALKS
Primordial being of the earth, mountains, and ice. he is currently deep in slumber, and has been for eons.
it is said that in ancient times, he mated with the Sky-Serpent to produce the World.
Said to resemble a furry mountain with immeasurably large tusks and gaping caverns for eyes
worshipped by mountain animals and the Wild Polar Tribesmen. prophecies say that one day he will come out of the North
to crush all before him and freeze the seas, ushering in a new ice age. his worshipers despise technology, and most humans.
Sometimes considered foremost among the SULLEN GODS of the NORTHMEN
BULL-GOD is also worshiped in the WESTERN BARBARIAN LANDS of PARAX
STAG-LORD, God of the Forest
Stag-Lord lives in the Wildwood. He teaches human worshipers mastery of the bow, and encourages them to hunt other men.
He hates humans who deface the forest and wishes to see them brutally slaughtered.
his antlers are wide and his arrows drip with human blood.
Wild forest animals obey his call.
there are some Pygmy-Tribesmen who worship this red-tooth'd god, and a few others here and there in the isolated forests of BARBARIAN PARAX, in the WEST
Alright, listen / WESTERN WILDWOOD
i'm just going to start posting my notes. i don't have time*, ever, to update a blog with actual posts / essays / etc, although i admire very much those who do. so instead, i'm just going to start posting my notes, in unadulterated and unedited format. many of them will not be original, good, or even faintly coherent, but i dunno. maybe there will be some ideas here and there for people to swipe. here's an example
WESTERN WILDWOOD
Ferocious caws are audible from up to a half-mile distant. Here, a murder of 15 Gorecrows are attempting to fight off an invasion of 5 Chop-Hawks.
The Gorecrows have been living in the branches and in a hollow halfway up a large tree hanging out over the cliff for many generations now, but the Chop-Hawks
want it because of the superior vantage point it offers over the nearby Wildwood. Both groups are willing to fight to the death, although if the Gorecrows
become badly wounded they can be seen flying into the large hollow in the tree order to hide (where they will make a last stand). Gorecrows are well-knowwn
to collect trinkets, and they have a few objects in the hollow of the tree (which is somewhat dangerous to reach). Inside, amidst a huge amount of nesting,
eggshells, some lizard and mammal corpses, and other bird stuff, can be found
a) a human skull with some shreds of flesh & hair still attached. belongs to a former member of a gang in Amble Edge and is inhabited by his ghost. if touched, capable of communicating very faintly that it desires to be returned there, where it will haunt the gang forever (because they drove the skull's original owner off, hence his ignominious death at the hands of birds)
b) a simple gold ring consisting of two paralell bands.
c) a necklace of 2 large gold coins strung together, each about half the diameter of your palm. One coin bears an emblem of a shield, and the other a spread-winged eagle. belonged to a member of a defunct knightly order
d) a small, cheap, gold earring, with a setting where a gem was once attached.
e) some junk - part of a belt with buckle, a tangle of copper shavings, and a dented and battered tin cup.
COMMON CREATURES d20
1. Carnivorous Goats (infinite number)
2. Fanged Impalas (3 herds of 3d12)
3. Gem-Spiders
4. Gore-Crows
5. Chop-Hawks
6. Lizards
7. Lowder
8. Kraw
9. Giant Slugs
10. Fire-Flies (night only)
11. Yard-Long Crawler
12. Bale Snail
13. Screaming Crickets
14. Snakes (Boa, vipers, Stake)
15. 1 Tyrannosaur lives in eastern Wildwood (there was a mated pair, but one was slain by a man with a sword. The remaining dinosaur is a female who is afraid to leave her eggs)
16. 1 flock of Blaggers sometimes floats overhead
17. 1 Bagu lives in south-eastern wildwood
18. 2 Leopards roam the forest. Their lair is a willow tree
19. 1 Giant Bear roams the forest
20. 2 Corbins (not affiliated with each other- night only)
SAPIENT CREATURES d8
1. Ulnot the Leaf Collector - strange little blue man on the run from intergalactic mercantile authorities. sells potions at illegal prices. rare things = better potions. Mercane will pay a hefty reward for his whereabouts
2. The Blue Knight - challenges everybody to duels for some reason. very insistent. very skilled fighter. wears blue platemail, rides a giant blue horse, and has a blue sword + lance + shield + tent + flag. when armor is removed he is revealed to be a giant half-blue half-normal human with stupifyingly bad hygiene.
3. The lonely carnivorous goat herder - nice old guy. can talk to goats. sells goats / goat-related products. desirous of news from the outside world.
4. Gunder the evil animal trainer - travels with 1d8 random mammals (1. Bear 2. Leopard 3. Wolf 4.Double-Wolf 5.juvenile giant leopard). trains his animals to kill people and bring back the treasure. feared throughout the forest
5 - 6. Hunter (1d4:
1. Amble Edge Hunter - amiable, folksy, violent
2. Amble Edge Gang Member - conducting nefarious business
3. Northman Hunter Group - 1d3 northmen, friendly but taciturn, willing to trade walrus tusks, sea-lion pelts, or even their famed Giant Longbows for metal goods
4. Tark the Croc-Man: very friendly for a crocodile-man; exiled from Crocodile-Man society for religious crocodile reasons)
7.-8/ A small tribe of Ape-Men. act like the apes from the beginning of 2001: a Space Odyssey. Led by a shaman who can summon ape-ghosts in the form of flying screaming ape skulls that harass enemies
OTHER STUFF
1. Fallen pukel pole. Connects to two defunct Pukel generators and 1 inert Pukel Man (stats as stone golem). Can only be operated/understood by devout Kos worshippers
2. Mortally wounded tyrannosaur atop man with silver sword - sword is Space Alien
3. Corpse has some *minor random treasure but a viper beneath - Ref save or get bit then Fortitude or take 1d6 damage per round for 1d6 rounds
4. Treasure-Moth - glowing moth always leads to nearest major treasure. attacking it is a dire sin (-1d100 respect from ancestors, superstitious people)
5. Yellow area... (see DUNGEON ALPHABET)
6. The birds here have a defense mechanism in the form of song that makes beings become confused and fall asleep, and there are carnivorous vines and lichens nearby to reap the spoils. Fieldcraft save of best Fortitude character or everyone falls asleep for 1d20 hours and finds they have lost most of their treasure to sticky trees. if you roll a 1 you are being swallowed by a carnivorous tree when you wake up. no treasure
7. There are a number of sticky slime-covered vines here, and a small but opportunistic hyena pack lurks nearby. the vines stay sticky even if cut, and can be used for various purposes including making a powerful glue; they are highly flammable (but resistant to acid). Fieldcraft save of most Skilled character or get stuck + attacked by hyenas if you make any noise trying to get free (Violence check or something better)
8. Touching a shriek-vine will cause it to emit a high-pitched ultrasonic whine, which predators have learned means
there is food nearby. Fieldcraft save of most Skilled character or +85% chance of encounter
9. Candlebloom is a small, wierd little plant that emits light at night to attract insects. Useful as a dim candle. Goes
out 2d2-1 hours after being plucked, growing gradually dimmer in the meanwhile
10. SERPUS ATTACK
*by "time", i mean motivation
WESTERN WILDWOOD
Ferocious caws are audible from up to a half-mile distant. Here, a murder of 15 Gorecrows are attempting to fight off an invasion of 5 Chop-Hawks.
The Gorecrows have been living in the branches and in a hollow halfway up a large tree hanging out over the cliff for many generations now, but the Chop-Hawks
want it because of the superior vantage point it offers over the nearby Wildwood. Both groups are willing to fight to the death, although if the Gorecrows
become badly wounded they can be seen flying into the large hollow in the tree order to hide (where they will make a last stand). Gorecrows are well-knowwn
to collect trinkets, and they have a few objects in the hollow of the tree (which is somewhat dangerous to reach). Inside, amidst a huge amount of nesting,
eggshells, some lizard and mammal corpses, and other bird stuff, can be found
a) a human skull with some shreds of flesh & hair still attached. belongs to a former member of a gang in Amble Edge and is inhabited by his ghost. if touched, capable of communicating very faintly that it desires to be returned there, where it will haunt the gang forever (because they drove the skull's original owner off, hence his ignominious death at the hands of birds)
b) a simple gold ring consisting of two paralell bands.
c) a necklace of 2 large gold coins strung together, each about half the diameter of your palm. One coin bears an emblem of a shield, and the other a spread-winged eagle. belonged to a member of a defunct knightly order
d) a small, cheap, gold earring, with a setting where a gem was once attached.
e) some junk - part of a belt with buckle, a tangle of copper shavings, and a dented and battered tin cup.
COMMON CREATURES d20
1. Carnivorous Goats (infinite number)
2. Fanged Impalas (3 herds of 3d12)
3. Gem-Spiders
4. Gore-Crows
5. Chop-Hawks
6. Lizards
7. Lowder
8. Kraw
9. Giant Slugs
10. Fire-Flies (night only)
11. Yard-Long Crawler
12. Bale Snail
13. Screaming Crickets
14. Snakes (Boa, vipers, Stake)
15. 1 Tyrannosaur lives in eastern Wildwood (there was a mated pair, but one was slain by a man with a sword. The remaining dinosaur is a female who is afraid to leave her eggs)
16. 1 flock of Blaggers sometimes floats overhead
17. 1 Bagu lives in south-eastern wildwood
18. 2 Leopards roam the forest. Their lair is a willow tree
19. 1 Giant Bear roams the forest
20. 2 Corbins (not affiliated with each other- night only)
SAPIENT CREATURES d8
1. Ulnot the Leaf Collector - strange little blue man on the run from intergalactic mercantile authorities. sells potions at illegal prices. rare things = better potions. Mercane will pay a hefty reward for his whereabouts
2. The Blue Knight - challenges everybody to duels for some reason. very insistent. very skilled fighter. wears blue platemail, rides a giant blue horse, and has a blue sword + lance + shield + tent + flag. when armor is removed he is revealed to be a giant half-blue half-normal human with stupifyingly bad hygiene.
3. The lonely carnivorous goat herder - nice old guy. can talk to goats. sells goats / goat-related products. desirous of news from the outside world.
4. Gunder the evil animal trainer - travels with 1d8 random mammals (1. Bear 2. Leopard 3. Wolf 4.Double-Wolf 5.juvenile giant leopard). trains his animals to kill people and bring back the treasure. feared throughout the forest
5 - 6. Hunter (1d4:
1. Amble Edge Hunter - amiable, folksy, violent
2. Amble Edge Gang Member - conducting nefarious business
3. Northman Hunter Group - 1d3 northmen, friendly but taciturn, willing to trade walrus tusks, sea-lion pelts, or even their famed Giant Longbows for metal goods
4. Tark the Croc-Man: very friendly for a crocodile-man; exiled from Crocodile-Man society for religious crocodile reasons)
7.-8/ A small tribe of Ape-Men. act like the apes from the beginning of 2001: a Space Odyssey. Led by a shaman who can summon ape-ghosts in the form of flying screaming ape skulls that harass enemies
OTHER STUFF
1. Fallen pukel pole. Connects to two defunct Pukel generators and 1 inert Pukel Man (stats as stone golem). Can only be operated/understood by devout Kos worshippers
2. Mortally wounded tyrannosaur atop man with silver sword - sword is Space Alien
3. Corpse has some *minor random treasure but a viper beneath - Ref save or get bit then Fortitude or take 1d6 damage per round for 1d6 rounds
4. Treasure-Moth - glowing moth always leads to nearest major treasure. attacking it is a dire sin (-1d100 respect from ancestors, superstitious people)
5. Yellow area... (see DUNGEON ALPHABET)
6. The birds here have a defense mechanism in the form of song that makes beings become confused and fall asleep, and there are carnivorous vines and lichens nearby to reap the spoils. Fieldcraft save of best Fortitude character or everyone falls asleep for 1d20 hours and finds they have lost most of their treasure to sticky trees. if you roll a 1 you are being swallowed by a carnivorous tree when you wake up. no treasure
7. There are a number of sticky slime-covered vines here, and a small but opportunistic hyena pack lurks nearby. the vines stay sticky even if cut, and can be used for various purposes including making a powerful glue; they are highly flammable (but resistant to acid). Fieldcraft save of most Skilled character or get stuck + attacked by hyenas if you make any noise trying to get free (Violence check or something better)
8. Touching a shriek-vine will cause it to emit a high-pitched ultrasonic whine, which predators have learned means
there is food nearby. Fieldcraft save of most Skilled character or +85% chance of encounter
9. Candlebloom is a small, wierd little plant that emits light at night to attract insects. Useful as a dim candle. Goes
out 2d2-1 hours after being plucked, growing gradually dimmer in the meanwhile
10. SERPUS ATTACK
*by "time", i mean motivation
YET MORE drink recipes?!
In troth! Lo:
the SWEET REMORSE
1 part bourbon
2 parts Sprite zero
1 red Lifesaver*
*in the event that you do not have a red Lifesaver, check your inventory for a cherry Jolly Rancher, or a raspberry cough drop. or, i guess, a mereschino cherry
the SWEET REMORSE
1 part bourbon
2 parts Sprite zero
1 red Lifesaver*
*in the event that you do not have a red Lifesaver, check your inventory for a cherry Jolly Rancher, or a raspberry cough drop. or, i guess, a mereschino cherry
Friday, March 8, 2013
HANDY REFERENCE CHART for ALCOHOL EUPHEMISMS
EUPHEMISMS for ALCOHOL(s)
BEER - euphemism depends on the method of delivery. most are readily known; "tall boy", "cold one", etc
Budweiser - Red Can
Coors - no euphemism, but you pronounce it "kurrs"
Miller High Life - Mother's Milk
PBR - Hippy Piss, Blue Can
WINE - fartwater, French Piss, Grape Juice Plus
CHAMPAGNE - fizzy fartwater, Grape Juice Plus Plus
LIQUOR - booze (functions as both noun + verb; "let's booze"), hooch (hooch is also a verb, but it means to huddle up)
Whiskey - the Curse, the Creature (a shot is called a "drop", a bottle is called a "tipple")
Rum - Grog
Gin - Christmas Juice
Tequila - Hero Sauce
Vodka - "Bloody Mary, No Fruit"
some other handy euphemisms:
Demeaning Terms for Men, in order of most demeaning to least demeaning:
Shitshow
Bag
Goon
Creature
Mutant
Monster
a nickname can be a sign of respect or contempt, depending on the nickname. usually nicknames involve a play on or mispronunciation of the dude's last name. For example, a guy named "Shepherd" could be called "Sherbert" (insulting), or "Sheep-Dog" (respectful). A guy named "Ottman" could be called "Autumn" (insulting) or "The Ott-Man" (respectful).
Demeaning Terms for Women, in order of most demeaning to least demeaning
Filthy (noun) also: Filthy Filly, Suzy Rottencrotch
Hoochie Mama
Female
Tough Cookie
girl nicknames work on the same principle as boy nicknames, but for some reason you normally use the girl's first name rather than her last name
EUPHEMISMS for OTHER THINGS
MRE: Rat (as in "Aw, Rats!" and also because it is sorta the same size / color as a large rat), Brick (as in "I got some bricks, who wants to shit one?"). some people also call them "Mister E", as a play on the acronym MRE and also to indicate that the contents are a mystery.
Dip: snuff, chew, dip, lid, can
Snuff (the kind you snort): Brown-Brown
MRE Coffee: Type (apparently back in the day it was labeled Type 1 or Type 2 depending on the flavor. it isn't any more, but some of the bug juice powder is. generally these are collected by the crew, and then when 20 or 30 have been acquired, they are mixed together in a bottle and passed around to the crew. one swallow is sometimes enough to make people shit themselves)
Move: bump
Shit: Brown
Urinate: Water Down
Drink: Water Up
Firefighting apparel: Green & Yellow
Helmet: Bullard (they are made by the Bullard Company)
Rain Jacket: flap
Sleeping Bag: fart sack
Glasses: Eye-Pro
Port-a-Potty: Blue Room
Gatorade/Powerade: Weakness-in-a-bottle
Helicopter/Plane: Ship
Car/Truck/etc: Rig
BEER - euphemism depends on the method of delivery. most are readily known; "tall boy", "cold one", etc
Budweiser - Red Can
Coors - no euphemism, but you pronounce it "kurrs"
Miller High Life - Mother's Milk
PBR - Hippy Piss, Blue Can
WINE - fartwater, French Piss, Grape Juice Plus
CHAMPAGNE - fizzy fartwater, Grape Juice Plus Plus
LIQUOR - booze (functions as both noun + verb; "let's booze"), hooch (hooch is also a verb, but it means to huddle up)
Whiskey - the Curse, the Creature (a shot is called a "drop", a bottle is called a "tipple")
Rum - Grog
Gin - Christmas Juice
Tequila - Hero Sauce
Vodka - "Bloody Mary, No Fruit"
some other handy euphemisms:
Demeaning Terms for Men, in order of most demeaning to least demeaning:
Shitshow
Bag
Goon
Creature
Mutant
Monster
a nickname can be a sign of respect or contempt, depending on the nickname. usually nicknames involve a play on or mispronunciation of the dude's last name. For example, a guy named "Shepherd" could be called "Sherbert" (insulting), or "Sheep-Dog" (respectful). A guy named "Ottman" could be called "Autumn" (insulting) or "The Ott-Man" (respectful).
Demeaning Terms for Women, in order of most demeaning to least demeaning
Filthy (noun) also: Filthy Filly, Suzy Rottencrotch
Hoochie Mama
Female
Tough Cookie
girl nicknames work on the same principle as boy nicknames, but for some reason you normally use the girl's first name rather than her last name
EUPHEMISMS for OTHER THINGS
MRE: Rat (as in "Aw, Rats!" and also because it is sorta the same size / color as a large rat), Brick (as in "I got some bricks, who wants to shit one?"). some people also call them "Mister E", as a play on the acronym MRE and also to indicate that the contents are a mystery.
Dip: snuff, chew, dip, lid, can
Snuff (the kind you snort): Brown-Brown
MRE Coffee: Type (apparently back in the day it was labeled Type 1 or Type 2 depending on the flavor. it isn't any more, but some of the bug juice powder is. generally these are collected by the crew, and then when 20 or 30 have been acquired, they are mixed together in a bottle and passed around to the crew. one swallow is sometimes enough to make people shit themselves)
Move: bump
Shit: Brown
Urinate: Water Down
Drink: Water Up
Firefighting apparel: Green & Yellow
Helmet: Bullard (they are made by the Bullard Company)
Rain Jacket: flap
Sleeping Bag: fart sack
Glasses: Eye-Pro
Port-a-Potty: Blue Room
Gatorade/Powerade: Weakness-in-a-bottle
Helicopter/Plane: Ship
Car/Truck/etc: Rig
Saturday, January 5, 2013
"WHAT IS KOS?"
i guess i should explain
Jeff Rients's Famous RPG Questions
What is the deal with my cleric's religion?
Depends who you worship!
KOS - ancient civilization god; may no longer exist. may have caused the Great Cataclysm. River god. causes floods. protects the roads, rivers, and towns. causes red wheat to grow. anti-institutional religion; followers are expected to find their own path to enlightenment
IO - foreign monotheistic deity. highly institutionalized, organized and motivated church. gaining traction in the wake of the Great Cataclysm. proselytic and missionist. genderless fertility god. favors prostitution and forceful conversion. despises undead & demons. emphasizes self-abnegation and penitence
(reference point: Abrahamic religions)
BLOOD BULL - berserk sky god. causes lightning. Lord of the Rampage Circle, home of the Eternal Stomp-Dance. his avatar lives on a sacred plateau above Rampage Circle. followers are nomadic berserkers
(reference points: Khorne, Storm Bull)
IRON LORD - god of crafting and war. invented smithing, smelting and swords. alchemy, wizardry, war, discipline, secrets. worshipers do not advertise their faith. devotees are usually master craftsmen or martial artists
ISSUS - god of trade and language. advocates peace and friendship. followers are traveling traders, explorers and diplomats
(reference point: Issaries)
the MINOR GODS - whatever else you can think of
All Gods have LIKES and DISLIKES. Doing things your God likes increases your FAVOR. Doing things your God dislikes decreases your favor.
Clerics (and only Clerics) can pray to their God to get a grasp of their current Favor.
Anybody can develop a relationship with any God or any number of Gods; Clerics just start with a bunch of Favor in a religion of their choice, and a place in the church's hierarchy (if it has one).
Where can we go to buy standard equipment?
Depends where you are!
Pilgrim's Passing: Piku the Smith
Amble Edge: Bolag the Fat's Trading-Post
Loe: Kulbrand the Bronze-Worker
Corflu: Tok Timbu Mastersmith
Thrundunmun: Bent-Back Bort the Quartermaster
The Ruined City at Par-Kos: Threp the Sickly
(i'm assuming you want weapons and stuff; adventurers always seem to want weapons and stuff)
there's plenty of other places, ask around.
Where can we go to get platemail custom fitted for this monster I just befriended?
Your best bet would probably be Piku or Kulbrand. Strange hermit-smiths dwell in the wilderness. Some Fair Elfs are said to have magical smithing abilities, but their skills come at a terrible price.
Who is the mightiest wizard in the land?
It used to be the King, but he died or is in hiding. His daughter, the Princess, may still be alive.
The Mercane have strange powers.
Everyone knows the Dragons have powerful magic, but most of them are sleeping now. Hopefully.
Agni the Fire-God dwells in an iron tower in The Scorch.
Pilgrim's Passing: A strange mage named Rhialto moved in recently.
Amble Edge: The Axe-Witch rules Amble Edge.
Loe: Unknown
The Ash Lands: Maglubiyet, the insane gobling God-King, has terrible powers. So, too, does the Unknown King
Who is the greatest warrior in the land?
The greatest swordsmen are the Sword-Saints, who dwell in the wilderness and loath to share their secrets.
Pilgrim's Passing: Dronlan Three-Swords has never been beaten.
Amble Edge: Greywolf is a force unto himself. Handsome Jack might give him a run for his money, though. Nobody's killed more monsters.
Who is the richest person in the land?
Jon Mith, the trader.
Where can we go to get some magical healing?
Temples of the Old Gods or Churches of Io, depending on who you worship.
Where can we go to get cures for the following conditions: poison, disease, curse, level drain, lycanthropy, polymorph, alignment change, death, undeath?
Same places.
Is there a magic guild my MU belongs to or that I can join in order to get more spells?
Nope, sorry! You'll have to get your hands dirty.
Where can I find an alchemist, sage or other expert NPC?
Pilgrim's Passing: Rhynt the Elder, Rhialto the Mage
Amble Edge: the Axe-Witch (good luck)
Loe: the Great Library
There are many more. Some sages hide in the wilderness. The Great Philosophers are said to know everything but they are hard to get to and possibly fictional. Ask around.
Where can I hire mercenaries?
The Mercenary's Fraternity maintains guildhouses in most population centers. They offer licenses for a nominal fee.
Is there any place on the map where swords are illegal, magic is outlawed or any other notable hassles from Johnny Law?
Nope. It's considered impolite to wear armor or weapons in taverns or other people's houses, though.
Which way to the nearest tavern?
Pilgrim's Passing: The Drinking House (compliment the fig-wine and you might get a free drink)
Amble Edge: The Mead Hall (you can't miss it; bring weapons)
Loe: The Black Dog (largest inn in town, good stew), The Silver Moon (alchemists, non-humans, good wine), The Bull & Ram (animal fights), The Hot Rooster (food & prostitutes), The Two Potbelly-Pigs (run by intelligent pigs; does not serve pork), The Puppethouse (puppet shows)
Thrundunmun: the Mess
The Gargling Ghoul is both an inn and a dungeon. It is located in the Wildwood, east of Amble Edge. Monster-fights, monster prostitutes and exotic foodstuffs are among its many remarkable attributes.
The Halfway Inn is located on the road between Pilgrim's Passing and the Ruined City. It is known for catering to monster-folk and selling illegal weaponry.
What monsters are terrorizing the countryside sufficiently that if I kill them I will become famous?
Oh, yes. Here's just a few:
The Gruesome Man of Wander Marsh
The Stag-Lord of the Wildwood
Ornlu the Wolf (currently terrorizing Amble Edge)
Whiteye (currently terrorizing Pilgrim's Passing)
Kohle of the Holy Lands (has been killing caravans)
Sheriff Dronlan Three-Swords in Pilgrim's Passing knows more. He offers standing bounties on many monsters.
Are there any wars brewing I could go fight?
There's always endemic civil warfare going on in Barbarian Parax.
The Red Knights of Kos continue to wage their Endless Crusade. Year after year, their numbers grow fewer as they attempt to restore order to Kos and drive out the abominations that now roam the countryside and inhabit the Great Palace. They are ALWAYS looking for recruits. Idealistic warriors should ask around.
How about gladiatorial arenas complete with hard-won glory and fabulous cash prizes?
The Gargling Ghoul is the most famous. The Ram & Bull also sometimes does gladiatorial bouts on slow days.
Otherwise, Amble Edge is basically a biker bar that's the size of a town. If you're in the mood to crack a few heads, go there.
Are there any secret societies with sinister agendas I could join and/or fight?
Yes, but I'm not telling.
What is there to eat around here?
The staple crop of Kos is giant red wheat that is high in protein and grows wild. You can survive on it alone, but it only grows by the River Kos. It makes a tasty red beer.
Otherwise, Carnivorous Goats are raised for milk and meat. Their crab-like legs are especially tasty.
some local delicacies:
Pilgim's Passing: figs, goat jerky, boiled goat legs
Amble Edge: sky-whale meat (served extra gamey), bear stomach stuffed with brains and testicles
Parax: fermented animal blood
Loe: Seafood. Lots of fucking seafood.
The Gargling Ghoul: triceratops steak, giant spider au jour
People in Kos eat lots of fish, too.
Any legendary lost treasures I could be looking for?
Yes. The Tomb of Krynn the Hero has never been found, and is said to be in Barbarian Parax.
It is said that the the Great Palace at Par-Kos once contained the treasure of 10,000 suns.
the Ruined City is no doubt filled with forgotten treasures, at Par-Kos.
The Ruined Old Knight Tower south-east of Pilgrim's Passing is inhabited by monsters, but the tomb of Arr the Iron is somewhere inside.
Rhialto has been seeking help about a missing magic item recently.
There are plenty more. Ask around.
Where is the nearest dragon or other monster with Type H treasure?
The King's Dragon still resides in the Great Palace at Par-Kos. He also seems to know secret passages that lead through the Ruined-Back mountains to the abandoned Royal Mines. Some say he is searching for a secret deep in the mountain that will restore Kos to glory.
Ancalagon the Black lives in the Ash Mountains. He is allied with Maglubiyet.
Ferrox the Incinerator lives somewhere in Barbarian Parax. Luckily, she has been asleep for centuries.
There are said to be more active dragons in the Far North, beyond the glacier which feeds the River Kos. There, they hunt mammoth and meditate in icy caves. Information from the Far North is scarce.
There's endless treasure in the Burial Lands, but only a lunatic would try to pilfer it
Jeff Rients's Famous RPG Questions
What is the deal with my cleric's religion?
Depends who you worship!
KOS - ancient civilization god; may no longer exist. may have caused the Great Cataclysm. River god. causes floods. protects the roads, rivers, and towns. causes red wheat to grow. anti-institutional religion; followers are expected to find their own path to enlightenment
IO - foreign monotheistic deity. highly institutionalized, organized and motivated church. gaining traction in the wake of the Great Cataclysm. proselytic and missionist. genderless fertility god. favors prostitution and forceful conversion. despises undead & demons. emphasizes self-abnegation and penitence
(reference point: Abrahamic religions)
BLOOD BULL - berserk sky god. causes lightning. Lord of the Rampage Circle, home of the Eternal Stomp-Dance. his avatar lives on a sacred plateau above Rampage Circle. followers are nomadic berserkers
(reference points: Khorne, Storm Bull)
IRON LORD - god of crafting and war. invented smithing, smelting and swords. alchemy, wizardry, war, discipline, secrets. worshipers do not advertise their faith. devotees are usually master craftsmen or martial artists
ISSUS - god of trade and language. advocates peace and friendship. followers are traveling traders, explorers and diplomats
(reference point: Issaries)
the MINOR GODS - whatever else you can think of
All Gods have LIKES and DISLIKES. Doing things your God likes increases your FAVOR. Doing things your God dislikes decreases your favor.
Clerics (and only Clerics) can pray to their God to get a grasp of their current Favor.
Anybody can develop a relationship with any God or any number of Gods; Clerics just start with a bunch of Favor in a religion of their choice, and a place in the church's hierarchy (if it has one).
Where can we go to buy standard equipment?
Depends where you are!
Pilgrim's Passing: Piku the Smith
Amble Edge: Bolag the Fat's Trading-Post
Loe: Kulbrand the Bronze-Worker
Corflu: Tok Timbu Mastersmith
Thrundunmun: Bent-Back Bort the Quartermaster
The Ruined City at Par-Kos: Threp the Sickly
(i'm assuming you want weapons and stuff; adventurers always seem to want weapons and stuff)
there's plenty of other places, ask around.
Where can we go to get platemail custom fitted for this monster I just befriended?
Your best bet would probably be Piku or Kulbrand. Strange hermit-smiths dwell in the wilderness. Some Fair Elfs are said to have magical smithing abilities, but their skills come at a terrible price.
Who is the mightiest wizard in the land?
It used to be the King, but he died or is in hiding. His daughter, the Princess, may still be alive.
The Mercane have strange powers.
Everyone knows the Dragons have powerful magic, but most of them are sleeping now. Hopefully.
Agni the Fire-God dwells in an iron tower in The Scorch.
Pilgrim's Passing: A strange mage named Rhialto moved in recently.
Amble Edge: The Axe-Witch rules Amble Edge.
Loe: Unknown
The Ash Lands: Maglubiyet, the insane gobling God-King, has terrible powers. So, too, does the Unknown King
Who is the greatest warrior in the land?
The greatest swordsmen are the Sword-Saints, who dwell in the wilderness and loath to share their secrets.
Pilgrim's Passing: Dronlan Three-Swords has never been beaten.
Amble Edge: Greywolf is a force unto himself. Handsome Jack might give him a run for his money, though. Nobody's killed more monsters.
Who is the richest person in the land?
Jon Mith, the trader.
Where can we go to get some magical healing?
Temples of the Old Gods or Churches of Io, depending on who you worship.
Where can we go to get cures for the following conditions: poison, disease, curse, level drain, lycanthropy, polymorph, alignment change, death, undeath?
Same places.
Is there a magic guild my MU belongs to or that I can join in order to get more spells?
Nope, sorry! You'll have to get your hands dirty.
Where can I find an alchemist, sage or other expert NPC?
Pilgrim's Passing: Rhynt the Elder, Rhialto the Mage
Amble Edge: the Axe-Witch (good luck)
Loe: the Great Library
There are many more. Some sages hide in the wilderness. The Great Philosophers are said to know everything but they are hard to get to and possibly fictional. Ask around.
Where can I hire mercenaries?
The Mercenary's Fraternity maintains guildhouses in most population centers. They offer licenses for a nominal fee.
Is there any place on the map where swords are illegal, magic is outlawed or any other notable hassles from Johnny Law?
Nope. It's considered impolite to wear armor or weapons in taverns or other people's houses, though.
Which way to the nearest tavern?
Pilgrim's Passing: The Drinking House (compliment the fig-wine and you might get a free drink)
Amble Edge: The Mead Hall (you can't miss it; bring weapons)
Loe: The Black Dog (largest inn in town, good stew), The Silver Moon (alchemists, non-humans, good wine), The Bull & Ram (animal fights), The Hot Rooster (food & prostitutes), The Two Potbelly-Pigs (run by intelligent pigs; does not serve pork), The Puppethouse (puppet shows)
Thrundunmun: the Mess
The Gargling Ghoul is both an inn and a dungeon. It is located in the Wildwood, east of Amble Edge. Monster-fights, monster prostitutes and exotic foodstuffs are among its many remarkable attributes.
The Halfway Inn is located on the road between Pilgrim's Passing and the Ruined City. It is known for catering to monster-folk and selling illegal weaponry.
What monsters are terrorizing the countryside sufficiently that if I kill them I will become famous?
Oh, yes. Here's just a few:
The Gruesome Man of Wander Marsh
The Stag-Lord of the Wildwood
Ornlu the Wolf (currently terrorizing Amble Edge)
Whiteye (currently terrorizing Pilgrim's Passing)
Kohle of the Holy Lands (has been killing caravans)
Sheriff Dronlan Three-Swords in Pilgrim's Passing knows more. He offers standing bounties on many monsters.
Are there any wars brewing I could go fight?
There's always endemic civil warfare going on in Barbarian Parax.
The Red Knights of Kos continue to wage their Endless Crusade. Year after year, their numbers grow fewer as they attempt to restore order to Kos and drive out the abominations that now roam the countryside and inhabit the Great Palace. They are ALWAYS looking for recruits. Idealistic warriors should ask around.
How about gladiatorial arenas complete with hard-won glory and fabulous cash prizes?
The Gargling Ghoul is the most famous. The Ram & Bull also sometimes does gladiatorial bouts on slow days.
Otherwise, Amble Edge is basically a biker bar that's the size of a town. If you're in the mood to crack a few heads, go there.
Are there any secret societies with sinister agendas I could join and/or fight?
Yes, but I'm not telling.
What is there to eat around here?
The staple crop of Kos is giant red wheat that is high in protein and grows wild. You can survive on it alone, but it only grows by the River Kos. It makes a tasty red beer.
Otherwise, Carnivorous Goats are raised for milk and meat. Their crab-like legs are especially tasty.
some local delicacies:
Pilgim's Passing: figs, goat jerky, boiled goat legs
Amble Edge: sky-whale meat (served extra gamey), bear stomach stuffed with brains and testicles
Parax: fermented animal blood
Loe: Seafood. Lots of fucking seafood.
The Gargling Ghoul: triceratops steak, giant spider au jour
People in Kos eat lots of fish, too.
Any legendary lost treasures I could be looking for?
Yes. The Tomb of Krynn the Hero has never been found, and is said to be in Barbarian Parax.
It is said that the the Great Palace at Par-Kos once contained the treasure of 10,000 suns.
the Ruined City is no doubt filled with forgotten treasures, at Par-Kos.
The Ruined Old Knight Tower south-east of Pilgrim's Passing is inhabited by monsters, but the tomb of Arr the Iron is somewhere inside.
Rhialto has been seeking help about a missing magic item recently.
There are plenty more. Ask around.
Where is the nearest dragon or other monster with Type H treasure?
The King's Dragon still resides in the Great Palace at Par-Kos. He also seems to know secret passages that lead through the Ruined-Back mountains to the abandoned Royal Mines. Some say he is searching for a secret deep in the mountain that will restore Kos to glory.
Ancalagon the Black lives in the Ash Mountains. He is allied with Maglubiyet.
Ferrox the Incinerator lives somewhere in Barbarian Parax. Luckily, she has been asleep for centuries.
There are said to be more active dragons in the Far North, beyond the glacier which feeds the River Kos. There, they hunt mammoth and meditate in icy caves. Information from the Far North is scarce.
There's endless treasure in the Burial Lands, but only a lunatic would try to pilfer it
Thursday, January 3, 2013
DUELS in Kos
{this post was inspired by Zak S's duelling rules on his Playing D&D With Porn Stars Blog}
WHY DUELS RULE, or, HOW YOU SHOULD LEARN TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE 1-HANDED WEAPONS
Everybody knows why you would want to fight with two weapons - you can make flurries of attacks and parries.
Everybody knows why you would want to fight with a weapon and a shield - it provides extra defense.
Everybody knows why you would want to fight with a large, two-handed weapon - it does more damage and threatens a wider area.
However, there is very little impetus to use a one-handed weapon without a shield or side-arm in Old School D&D.
DESPITE THE FACT THAT PEOPLE IN HISTORY AND FICTION DO IT ALL THE TIME
WHY DUELS RULE, or, HOW YOU SHOULD LEARN TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE 1-HANDED WEAPONS
Everybody knows why you would want to fight with two weapons - you can make flurries of attacks and parries.
Everybody knows why you would want to fight with a weapon and a shield - it provides extra defense.
Everybody knows why you would want to fight with a large, two-handed weapon - it does more damage and threatens a wider area.
However, there is very little impetus to use a one-handed weapon without a shield or side-arm in Old School D&D.
There are a few obvious reasons:
- You can carry a torch or another utility item in the other hand, like a 10-foot pole
- It frees the other hand for tasks like climbing
- i'm sure you can think of others
but there's very little reason to want to use only a single hand-weapon in combat,
DESPITE THE FACT THAT PEOPLE IN HISTORY AND FICTION DO IT ALL THE TIME
In Kos, the reason people do this is because the focus that comes from using a single, one-handed weapon (usually a sword, but it could be anything) (or your bare hands) allows you to engage in DUELS.
HOW DUELS WORK
You pick an enemy. The most badass thing to do would be to pick the toughest-looking enemy, but you can pick anybody. ENEMIES/MONSTERS CAN ALSO CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL.
the RULES of DUELS:
- You can only challenge another guy to a duel if you are wielding a single, one-handed weapon with no shield; but you can challenge other guys even if they have a different weapon configuration. EXCEPTION: if you have just your bare hands, you can issue a challenge
- the other guy must be a sentient monster or humanoid. you can't duel an ooze or a tiger or a mindless berserk ogre or something.
- the other guy must have a weapon. this is part of the Duellist's Code. EXCEPTION: if both are unarmed, it's okay.
- you can't duel somebody who is running away, paralyzed, asleep, or otherwise incapacitated. just
coup de grace them, you drama queen.
THE DUEL BEGINS
the duel happens concurrently with all other combat. Everybody rolls initiative as normal, and the duellists act on their turn like anybody else.
STEP 1. the two duellists single each other out, making eye contact and bandying some Fightin' Words. If the defender is a coward, he can attempt to flee the combat at this point and immediately acts as though under the effects of a failed morale check. If you don't feel like using the morale rules (which i normally don't), the coward is simply removed from combat. This step occurs on the turn of the challenger, but takes no time and is followed immediately by STEP 2.
STEP 2. if neither duellist flees, the two duellists decide their fighting stances. Each duellist must secretly declare his fighting stance to the DM:
FEROCIOUS: +2 attack, -1 AC, must attempt to charge as soon as possible
NEUTRAL: no bonuses, must attempt close to melee range as soon as possible
CAUTIOUS: +2 defense, cannot move more than 5 feet.
missile weapons can be used.
if the challenger chooses the "CAUTIOUS" stance, then he must wait until the opponent's turn for the opponent to choose his stance. Otherwise, the opponent can choose immediately.
if both duellists choose "cautious", they circle one another aimlessly this round.
Once the Duel has begun (ie, the Duellists have chosen their stances), nobody else can attack either duellist. The duellists are so focused on one another that any other attackers are batted aside like mosquitoes.
Once the duellists close to melee, other combatants with missile weapons attempting to target one duellist have a base 50% chance of hitting an allied duellist, even if they miss.
Area-of-effect threats like fireballs or avalanches can still effect one or both duellists.
Sometimes, other combatants might even circle up and chant "FIGHT! FIGHT!" and cheer for their champion. this mostly depends on the nature of the other combatants (base 1 in 3 chance, higher for martial cultures like orcs). the winner's side gets a big ol' bonus to morale
STEP 4. once the duellists start moving towards each other, any other combatants move out of the way, because they realize this is Serious Business, and the duellists provoke no attacks of opportunity if they are moving in a bee-line to each other or maneuvering in combat. They can move directly through other combatants as though they weren't there. Terrain still has normal effects. Normally, the two duellists move towards each other by the most direct route possible; in unusual circumstances, DM's judgment prevails
The duellists act on their initiative, just as normal, but until the duel ends, they can only attack one another.
They can change their stance at the beginning of their turn, if they want to.
Duellists are, of course, allowed to use whatever spells, dirty tricks, combat moves or unfair advantages they can think of.
THE DUEL ENDS
The duel can end one of 3 ways:
1. one or both combatants are killed or incapacitated
2. one combatant admits defeat. This means throwing your weapon away and assuming a posture of surrender. It's up to the winner what happens at this point.
3. one combatant attempts to flee. Normally, this provokes an attack of opportunity. Under most circumstances, this means the end of the duel.
4. the duel is broken up.
BREAKING UP A DUEL
other combatants can attempt to break up a duel. To do so, you must:
Roll an attack check against both combatants.
SUCCESS AGAINST BOTH: you do no damage to either but the duel has ended. The duellists can still attempt to engage one another again, on their respective turns.
SUCCESS AGAINST NEITHER: you are unable to do anything and the duel continues.
SUCCESS AGAINST CHALLENGER, BUT NOT DEFENDER: the challenger automatically strikes the defender on his next turn, because you foolishly got in the way and prevented an effective parry
SUCCESS AGAINST DEFENDER, BUT NOT CHALLENGER: you automatically take damage from the challenger, by blocking a strike with your own body.
Other circumstances may break up a duel, such as a chasm suddenly opening between the duellists, or a Mass Hold Person spell. DM's discretion.
"BUT WAIT A MINUTE! MANY OF THOSE HISTORICAL/FICTIONAL DUELLISTS WERE USING TWO-HANDED WEAPONS!"
Actually, most of them weren't. Weapons like katanas and bastard-swords were popular because they could be used either one-handed or two. the grip could easily be shifted to accommodate changing tactics in a duel, or the empty off-hand could be used for grappling/defense.
"BUT WAIT A MINUTE! COULDN'T YOU ALSO CHALLENGE SOME BODY TO A DUEL EVEN IF YOU HAVE A TWO-HANDED WEAPON OR A SHIELD?"
You could certainly role-play a challenge, but you don't get any special rules. Two-handed weapon specialists don't have the finesse or poise necessary for dueling. Big weapons are designed for smashing spear-walls or clobbering giant monsters. They can accept challenges, but not offer them.
Likewise, shields are cumbersome and are meant to protect from missiles and multiple attackers. They block views of opponents and are meant for the overly-cautious.
Two archers or two wizards can single each other out for duels, though!
So that's why you might want to use a single-handed weapon in Kos
NEW DRINK RECIPE - HOLIDAY EDITION
this one is called 'SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER'
Ingredients:
a couple cups of coffee
an equal amount of milk
chocolate syrup to taste
[optional] one scoop cookies-n-cream protein powder (100% whey is the way to go - pun intended!)
[optional] a few ice cubes if you want it to be cold
blend. pour into a large mug. add 1-2 fingers bourbon (i prefer Virginia Gentleman for this drink). stir.
[optional: top with whipped cream, sprinkled cinnamon, or a maraschino cherry if you have one (just kidding, there's no chance you have any if you're reading this blog, you hopeless RPG-playing alcoholic)]
good for morning or night. can be served hot or cold. makes a couple servings
Ingredients:
a couple cups of coffee
an equal amount of milk
chocolate syrup to taste
[optional] one scoop cookies-n-cream protein powder (100% whey is the way to go - pun intended!)
[optional] a few ice cubes if you want it to be cold
blend. pour into a large mug. add 1-2 fingers bourbon (i prefer Virginia Gentleman for this drink). stir.
[optional: top with whipped cream, sprinkled cinnamon, or a maraschino cherry if you have one (just kidding, there's no chance you have any if you're reading this blog, you hopeless RPG-playing alcoholic)]
good for morning or night. can be served hot or cold. makes a couple servings
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