9/12/21

Pres. Lewis shared a quick thought at our stake meeting today--how he had kind of snapped at his son Aiden who had been goofing off, and then was woken up in the middle of the night with so much remorse picturing this son. And then he said, he felt like he was able to see this son for his full potential and with so much love, and then it carried over to how much love he has for all the Youth, and their amazing potential, and he was just so excited for everything ahead of them, and all that they'd accomplish. I loved how that story started off with a mistake, and ended with light and love, that even as we're messing up, God loves us, and is SO patient and merciful with us. I've had extremes like that this week, feeling foolish and feeble one minute, then so full of love and light and hope the next. Foolish/Feeble: I think this heart monitor has given me anxiety!! Either that, or my heart is worse than I realized!--as I've experienced little bouts of panic/needing to take a deep breath, with wearing this constant reminder of my PROBLEM. I felt ridiculous, knowing what I do about breathing and meditation, but it was pretty humbling feeling so OUT of control! The funny thing (and why I'm pretty sure it was mental), is I would only notice it when I was sitting still or alone--if I'm moving or with other people, it went away. Either way, great time to test my trouble, since I have this monitor on! Love/Light: Wednesday night, we had a great little RS activity in Sandall's backyard--just sharing things we've learned this summer, and enjoying being lifted by each other! I had invited 3 people to go, none of which came, but as I mentioned I was inviting people to Diana, SHE decided to reach out to a neighbor because of it. Not only did this neighbor come, but Diana was also able to have a good visit with her daughter and wife while there. I LOVE sisterhood!! Foolish/Feeble: I also tried to organize a little playgroup day at the park since there are a lot of little ones and new moms in the neighborhood--I invited 20, knowing not everyone would be able to make it, but when Seth and I got to the park, there was NO ONE there!! Haa! Good think I'm not in middle school anymore. Love/Light: And at least I had a birthday lunch scheduled for Stephanie right after with Amy, so I got my socializing in--AND someone came to buy the leftover patio bricks that day, so I felt pretty victorious getting that mess cleaned up! Besides cleaning all of that side patio up this week, Dad helped me hang a shade sail over the patio, our new fire table came, and I stained the stairs, which pretty much completes the list of what I was hoping to get done for the year! Barbi came with her boys to pick peaches on Friday, so we cleaned off the trees, shared as many peaches as we could with neighbors, then canned, jammed, & fruit leathered the rest on Saturday. Feeble: Maddie tested positive for the gene, and I thought she was a definite no!! I was feeling so sad AGAIN for all of these effects! Light/Love: Stacey and Corrie stopped for a minute on their way back from Idaho to grab peaches, and Stacey comforted my heart as I feel like I'm giving all of you children such perilous lives from this gene, reminding me that things happen they way they do and in the timing they do for a reason. She even said, "Your kids are lucky to have you as a mom that loves them. The goal of life is not just living the longest--if that were it, you might fail, but the goal is Heaven." Also, we found out the same day that BRENT WON THE COSTA VIDA CONTEST FOR BYU TICKETS!!!!!!!!!!! He was seriously shaking with excitement and thought it was a prank, but though maybe not as longterm significant, it felt good to have GOOD news! Also got a sweet visit in with Diana dropping peaches off to her--we both need each other in our SOULS! Corbin spoke today before he leaves for Ghana (no home MTC time!), and Doreen Brough talked after him--of course about Family History :), but I felt so much HOPE and PEACE as she talked about the generations lined up before us and coming after us, and how we are all part of such a great family! After feelings of scary loneliness this week, I even more appreciated thinking of great grandparents and grandparents that have blessed my life, and grandchildren starting to come into my life, and I felt SO FULL and GRATEFUL. We had a sweet time at Barfuss's for Brent & Breely's Gender Reveal--there was just so much surrounding of love and happiness for them! Her family is seriously wonderful. So there is a lot of contrast (which I still can't say that I love or understand), but it was like a living scripture of the verse from Come Follow Me in D&C 100:15 Therefore, let your hearts be comforted; for aall things shall work together for good to them that walk uprightly. One version I heard of it was how disgusting lard, salt, flour and buttermilk are on their own (disagree with the buttermilk!), but how they make delicious biscuits as they all "work together"--like Pres. Lewis's regrettable moment turned into insights of love and goodness. Love you tons! Love, Mom (also a picture of Seth and Anne at Mantua, where we showed up too late to help with an area youth service project--insert your own sad and good labels!)