Is anyone still reading this stuff?
And, Melanee, what about part 4 did you not know....you said, "a lot"....oops!
So, Miles slept a lot and didn't eat too much after getting home from the hospital. The night before, while still in the hospital, he kept Melanee and Dax awake. They were hoping for some sleep now that they were FINALLY home and in their own comfortable bed. I knew that Miles would probably need some holding, so I offered to help them in the night, but they never woke me, so I thought Miles had a really good night, but in the morning, Dax and Melanee looked REALLY tired. They said that he didn't sleep at all. Melanee said she didnt want to wake me.
My flight left San Antonio at 6, so I had to be at the airport at 5, so I woke up at 4:30 am. Dax had to also, since he was my ride to the airport. Melanee was awake because Miles was awake. I felt so bad leaving them. Extra bad, also, because Melanee's milk had just come in and Miles wasn't eating. I am no la leche league member, but I still maybe could have somehow helped or given her suggestions or reassurance.
I had packed the night before, but my phone charger was in Dax's car, so I figured I'd just get it in the morning, but I forgot it....and my battery was nearly DEAD. I turned it off so that I'd be able to call William when I got to Sacramento. I didn't want it off, I wanted to call/text Melanee to make sure she and Miles were ok, but I also wanted to let them sleep and I knew talking/texting would be hard while holding a newborn. I think communicating is going to be hard. Maybe we can skype or voice text? I dont want to miss Miles growing up and changing! I want to see all his cute outfits. I want to just be there with them.
I sat at the airport, again, without any books or games to play or music to listen to or anything! I just had my own thoughts to deal with. I felt horrible for leaving. I cried. I wanted to turn back. I wanted to leave the airport. I wanted to go back to their apartment. I wanted to stay!!!! I didn't want to get on that plane, but I was already given my seat assignment and boarding had already begun.
I like to talk to people, strangers, but on my first flight the girl next to me had on head phones, on the second flight, as soon as I sat down, the guy next to me got up and sat across the aisle (I dont think I stunk, haha). And when I was sitting in the terminal I sat next to a lady who was reading a book. The lady on the other side of her tried to strike up some harmless conversation and the lady with the book was very rude and snappy in her replies and went back to fake reading her book....so, when I got on the plane, I noticed it was THAT lady sitting next to me, so I didnt even attempt to talk to her. I just sat there and cried. Like ACTUAL tears. I wiped them away for a while, but then just let them drip. Of course, she didnt ask me what was wrong. I am actually kinda glad she didnt.
I slept (uncomfortably and half awake) during the flight. It was a 3 hour flight, so no movies or anything. I didnt have a window seat and she had the window shut, so I just closed my eyes. The flight wasnt very long. My layover in San Francisco wasnt very long, either. The San Francisco to Sacramento flight was VERY short, but I had a window seat, so that was fun. I could look out the window and see things like the bay, the San Mateo Bridge, the Oakland Airport, the Marina we used to play at with my grandpa Johnson, the Oakland Coliseum, the Delta, beautiful rice fields and farmland. At one point, I saw an airport and wondered what city between San Francisco and Sacramento had a huge airport, right then the pilot told us to prepare for landing.....we were there ALREADY. It was so fast.
I had my bag, so I just walked outside and waited for William. I called Melanee to tell her I made it. It didnt matter now if my phone died because I had already called William and he was on his way. While talking to her, I tried SO hard to hide my crying (how'd I do Melanee???? haha). She sounded like she was doing ok without me......but I really wanted to be there with her! I know her and Dax are now grown ups and are doing so well in their life together, but I also know that they still could have used some help. I left too soon. I KNOW IT!!!!
I also know that most of Dax's family will do anything if needed. I also know that Dax's mom is coming to help next month. I think they have friends who will take care of them, too. I just worry that neither of them will ever ask. So, Melanee, if you are reading this-----ASK for help, EVERYONE loves you and WANTS to help. Just ask....and if they offer- ACCEPT.
When William pulled up to the curb where I was standing, I didnt even recognize him, he had a beard and was wearing sun glasses. haha!
We had a nice drive home. I didnt realize that William had just been to the Sacramento airport the day before when he picked up a friend. Not a bad drive (1.5 hours) if you have to do it every once in a while, but if you go too often (like back and forth to Sacramento for soccer tournaments, haha), it gets really monotonous!!!!
When we got to Chico, no one was home. They were at church, I missed it! But I went to student ward with William. All the people I talked to ran up to me and told me William gave a WONDERFUL talk the past week! During Sunday School, William introduced me as a guest and told everyone to call me "grandma".....oh boy! Scott seems old enough to be a grandpa, I do not seem old enough to be a grandma!!!! But I am, and I LOVE it.
6/30/14
The whole story (part 3)
So where did I leave off......
Melanee was getting "repaired".
Repaired from a forceps delivery of a one week overdue 7 pound baby. That does not compute! That does not make any sense. But, it did happen.
I now doubt the baby was over due. I now doubt the reasoning for the Pitocin aided labor. And I doubt the methods and position used to help delivery.
But, the outcome of the whole ordeal was THE BEST--- a healthy baby boy. The end does justify the means. There were a few minutes there, when there was some doubt that he would be born healthy or even alive. And even with all the stitches.....she didn't need a C-section. There are blessings to be noted, even among all the criticisms and negativities.
Melanee kept wondering what was wrong with her body. She wondered many times why didn't it do what it was supposed to. Why didn't she dilate quickly? Why didn't labor start on it's own? Why wouldn't the baby come out easier? But, bodies are wonderful, bodies are miraculous. Her body will heal. Her swelling will go down. Her stitches will disappear or get removed. Her stomach will flatten. Her memory may even fade.
So, the stitching was taking D A Y S.....and I was feeling both physically and MENTALLY exhausted. I know it's great to have moms in the delivery rooms, but after seeing all that I saw my daughter go through, and thinking not much of it went the way "I" thought it should, really bothered me. I didn't like what the epidural did to her, I didn't like the way she was treated, I didn't like the forceps, I really did NOT like all the ripping and tears of her insides and outsides. I didn't think it was an ideal birthing experience and I thought much of it was unnecessary. I called one of my friends afterwards and she pointed out something I hadn't thought of, she said, "How many births have you really been a part of???" So, she's right, I can say that "I've never seen anything like that", but "never" is only taking in my 4 childbirths. Sure, it could have been different with a good doctor, good mid wife, or a better mom (me, not Melanee)(haha).....but, maybe all that happened, NEEDED to happen. Maybe that's OK. A lot can be learned from every experience and I think a lot was learned from that experience. I learned a lot, Dax learned a lot, all those doctors and nurses learned a lot, and I'm pretty sure Melanee will be A LOT better prepared next time!!!!
So, Melanee was being worked on and she was holding Miles, maybe even attempting to nurse him. Dax was slumped over in a chair admiring his new family. I saw a little chance for my exit. I didn't want to be in the way of their first ever real family time and I needed a break, some alone time, some down time. That was the most intense situation I had ever been in in my entire life. I also hadn't eaten much for a full day, I also hadn't slept. I was weak and shaky. I forgot to put this in the part two of this story, but when Miles was born, I actually cried....I DO NOT CRY. It brought tears to my eyes and happiness to my heart that he arrived safely after ALL of THAT. And I forgot to add, that the doctors must have did something RIGHT with the forceps because his face was not bruised or damage AT ALL, he was perfect. All the blood covering his scalp was from Melanee's body, not his.
I had Melanee's keys in my purse. I got some directions to their apartment from Dax and I left. As I drove to their apartment, my arms shook on the steering wheel, my stomach felt ill, I felt weak, even exhausted. I hadn't taken my thyroid medicine in a week, that could have added to my condition, but mainly, I think that I am not fit for observing my child bleeding/in pain/being mistreated.
Something happened while I was gone, I'm going to add it here, but this is Dax's description of what happened.....LUCKILY, I missed it......but, when they went to move Melanee from her labor/delivery room to a recovery room, she either passed out/blacked out/had a seizure/collapsed/or went toward "the light".......Dax grabbed her head, which had flopped back and the nurse called for all doctors. They quickly got her back onto the bed and revived her. Dax said she made snoring sounds and went limp. She doesn't remember any of it.
Back at the apartment, I felt so weak, so horrible, so not myself. I said a prayer. I took a shower. I ate some cereal. I called a friend. AND, I watched the USMNT game. I love soccer, but I think I was dazed through most of it, because I don't remember much about the game at all.
When it was over....I felt much better. The being away from the thing that was stressing me.....getting food, getting myself clean and cooled off, and getting some rest really helped. I called Dax after the game and asked if he wanted me to come back so he could get away/get some food/get a shower/feel better....he immediately, without pause, said, "GREAT IDEA." I went back to the hospital.
Dax came home.
When I got back, she was in a different room. She was sitting up in bed and Miles was in his bassinette thing. I washed my hands and held him for the first time. He was so small and perfect and adorable. He was sleeping, so I just sat and held him. I love him SO MUCH. It's hard to explain! Being there was so awesome.
Melanee wasn't allowed to eat deli meats through her pregnancy (is that a new "thing", that wasn't a "rule" when I was pregnant, or at least no one ever told me that)....so she ordered a sandwich for lunch. She was so happy with it! That day she got a few visitors, Dax's dad and his wife, then later Dax's brother and his little family. When Dillon called to see if they could come, Melanee wanted Dax to be there. I said, "Let Dax sleep." The room she was now in was smaller than the first and with the group of visitors, I found another great escape plan, I said, "goodbye" and snuck out for the second time of the day, haha, (it was 9:00 at night). I went back to their apartment and no joke, when my head hit the pillow, I was SOUND asleep, that kind of sleep when you don't toss or turn the entire night! I needed it.
The next morning Dax texted for me to bring Tylenol and more baby socks. I also needed to find the post office because there was a gift there that Dax had bought for Melanee. I looked the address up on MapQuest and brought the laptop with me in the car for a GPS. I never did find the post office. But I did lose the little piece of paper needed for the package pick up. I was really worried about that tiny slip of paper. It was probably just sitting on the couch. But I also had a $20 bill sitting by it on the couch, so maybe that was missing, too. It was a windy day, so I thought the sooner I went back to the apartment to look for it, the better my chances of finding it would be if it was blowing around the parking lot. (I also hoped my $20 was just still on the couch.) Long story short, Melanee had already gotten socks from the "nice" nurse and she couldn't have the Tylenol (I knew that already!!!!). AND, I found the post office paper in the water of a flood drainage thing!!!!! (and the $20 was still on the couch). I went back to the hospital and tag teamed with Dax. He went and ran a bunch of errands and ate and stuff. I had a nice time with Melanee, but she had to stay in that hospital room for so long that visiting with me was probably boring. I took some pictures of Miles, but he had his eyes closed in all of them. Still cute, though. We planned for me to come back the next day with the car seat and Dax spent the night there again in that uncomfortable fold out bed. I slept well again! They have air conditioning in their apartment and really good water pressure in their shower (two things I don't have here in Chico.) I bought some groceries and was going to make freezer meals, but ended up just stocking their fridge/freeze/ and shelves. I watched the NHL draft that night.
When they called to tell me to come back the next morning, I rushed, excitedly, to the car....B U T it did NOT start. It didn't even click, it didn't turn over, it didn't do anything, it was DEAD. Completely. I called Dax. He said that had never happened before. He told me where the jumper cables were. I looked for someone to jump start me. I looked EVERYWHERE. It was 9:30 on a Saturday morning and there was not a soul around. ANYWHERE. I do have someone in Texas' number in my phone....from 2.5 years ago at Melanee's wedding.....Dax's brother. I called him to come rescue me. I also called Scott and he gave me several things to try. After at least an hour (it seems) of waiting, then trying things, Dax pulled up and noticed that the break lights were on. Dillon and I were in the front of the car, we never noticed the tail lights. I guess it was hard to charge the battery with break lights on. But the car DID start when Dax tried. He had the Midas touch! He also found the little thingy that had fallen out, so he did a temporary fix. I went back to the hospital with him. MELANEE WAS READY to leave. So was Miles, but he did NOT like the car seat AT ALL. The nurse went over a bunch of things before we could leave. They made Melanee WALK to the car!!!! She did fine, but I'm sure that was a long walk!
She checked out with a bag FULL of prescription drugs.
We struggled a bit with the car seat, but finally got it.
The drive home was nice. I am actually really glad that Dax was doing the drive home.....baby's first car ride!!!! GOING HOME. Breaking out of that prison, I mean hospital, haha!
I didn't have an exact plan of how long I would stay, but I flew there (and home) on "standby", meaning, really, that I don't get to PICK when I travel, I travel when there are seats available. In checking flight loads, the computer told me to go home on Sunday morning at 5 am. Saturday was my last day in San Antonio. I tried to make myself useful. I know, though, that I left at a bad time.....that night Melanee's milk came in!!!! OUCH!!!!!!!
Part 4 later.......if you want more????
Melanee was getting "repaired".
Repaired from a forceps delivery of a one week overdue 7 pound baby. That does not compute! That does not make any sense. But, it did happen.
I now doubt the baby was over due. I now doubt the reasoning for the Pitocin aided labor. And I doubt the methods and position used to help delivery.
But, the outcome of the whole ordeal was THE BEST--- a healthy baby boy. The end does justify the means. There were a few minutes there, when there was some doubt that he would be born healthy or even alive. And even with all the stitches.....she didn't need a C-section. There are blessings to be noted, even among all the criticisms and negativities.
Melanee kept wondering what was wrong with her body. She wondered many times why didn't it do what it was supposed to. Why didn't she dilate quickly? Why didn't labor start on it's own? Why wouldn't the baby come out easier? But, bodies are wonderful, bodies are miraculous. Her body will heal. Her swelling will go down. Her stitches will disappear or get removed. Her stomach will flatten. Her memory may even fade.
So, the stitching was taking D A Y S.....and I was feeling both physically and MENTALLY exhausted. I know it's great to have moms in the delivery rooms, but after seeing all that I saw my daughter go through, and thinking not much of it went the way "I" thought it should, really bothered me. I didn't like what the epidural did to her, I didn't like the way she was treated, I didn't like the forceps, I really did NOT like all the ripping and tears of her insides and outsides. I didn't think it was an ideal birthing experience and I thought much of it was unnecessary. I called one of my friends afterwards and she pointed out something I hadn't thought of, she said, "How many births have you really been a part of???" So, she's right, I can say that "I've never seen anything like that", but "never" is only taking in my 4 childbirths. Sure, it could have been different with a good doctor, good mid wife, or a better mom (me, not Melanee)(haha).....but, maybe all that happened, NEEDED to happen. Maybe that's OK. A lot can be learned from every experience and I think a lot was learned from that experience. I learned a lot, Dax learned a lot, all those doctors and nurses learned a lot, and I'm pretty sure Melanee will be A LOT better prepared next time!!!!
So, Melanee was being worked on and she was holding Miles, maybe even attempting to nurse him. Dax was slumped over in a chair admiring his new family. I saw a little chance for my exit. I didn't want to be in the way of their first ever real family time and I needed a break, some alone time, some down time. That was the most intense situation I had ever been in in my entire life. I also hadn't eaten much for a full day, I also hadn't slept. I was weak and shaky. I forgot to put this in the part two of this story, but when Miles was born, I actually cried....I DO NOT CRY. It brought tears to my eyes and happiness to my heart that he arrived safely after ALL of THAT. And I forgot to add, that the doctors must have did something RIGHT with the forceps because his face was not bruised or damage AT ALL, he was perfect. All the blood covering his scalp was from Melanee's body, not his.
I had Melanee's keys in my purse. I got some directions to their apartment from Dax and I left. As I drove to their apartment, my arms shook on the steering wheel, my stomach felt ill, I felt weak, even exhausted. I hadn't taken my thyroid medicine in a week, that could have added to my condition, but mainly, I think that I am not fit for observing my child bleeding/in pain/being mistreated.
Something happened while I was gone, I'm going to add it here, but this is Dax's description of what happened.....LUCKILY, I missed it......but, when they went to move Melanee from her labor/delivery room to a recovery room, she either passed out/blacked out/had a seizure/collapsed/or went toward "the light".......Dax grabbed her head, which had flopped back and the nurse called for all doctors. They quickly got her back onto the bed and revived her. Dax said she made snoring sounds and went limp. She doesn't remember any of it.
Back at the apartment, I felt so weak, so horrible, so not myself. I said a prayer. I took a shower. I ate some cereal. I called a friend. AND, I watched the USMNT game. I love soccer, but I think I was dazed through most of it, because I don't remember much about the game at all.
When it was over....I felt much better. The being away from the thing that was stressing me.....getting food, getting myself clean and cooled off, and getting some rest really helped. I called Dax after the game and asked if he wanted me to come back so he could get away/get some food/get a shower/feel better....he immediately, without pause, said, "GREAT IDEA." I went back to the hospital.
Dax came home.
When I got back, she was in a different room. She was sitting up in bed and Miles was in his bassinette thing. I washed my hands and held him for the first time. He was so small and perfect and adorable. He was sleeping, so I just sat and held him. I love him SO MUCH. It's hard to explain! Being there was so awesome.
Melanee wasn't allowed to eat deli meats through her pregnancy (is that a new "thing", that wasn't a "rule" when I was pregnant, or at least no one ever told me that)....so she ordered a sandwich for lunch. She was so happy with it! That day she got a few visitors, Dax's dad and his wife, then later Dax's brother and his little family. When Dillon called to see if they could come, Melanee wanted Dax to be there. I said, "Let Dax sleep." The room she was now in was smaller than the first and with the group of visitors, I found another great escape plan, I said, "goodbye" and snuck out for the second time of the day, haha, (it was 9:00 at night). I went back to their apartment and no joke, when my head hit the pillow, I was SOUND asleep, that kind of sleep when you don't toss or turn the entire night! I needed it.
The next morning Dax texted for me to bring Tylenol and more baby socks. I also needed to find the post office because there was a gift there that Dax had bought for Melanee. I looked the address up on MapQuest and brought the laptop with me in the car for a GPS. I never did find the post office. But I did lose the little piece of paper needed for the package pick up. I was really worried about that tiny slip of paper. It was probably just sitting on the couch. But I also had a $20 bill sitting by it on the couch, so maybe that was missing, too. It was a windy day, so I thought the sooner I went back to the apartment to look for it, the better my chances of finding it would be if it was blowing around the parking lot. (I also hoped my $20 was just still on the couch.) Long story short, Melanee had already gotten socks from the "nice" nurse and she couldn't have the Tylenol (I knew that already!!!!). AND, I found the post office paper in the water of a flood drainage thing!!!!! (and the $20 was still on the couch). I went back to the hospital and tag teamed with Dax. He went and ran a bunch of errands and ate and stuff. I had a nice time with Melanee, but she had to stay in that hospital room for so long that visiting with me was probably boring. I took some pictures of Miles, but he had his eyes closed in all of them. Still cute, though. We planned for me to come back the next day with the car seat and Dax spent the night there again in that uncomfortable fold out bed. I slept well again! They have air conditioning in their apartment and really good water pressure in their shower (two things I don't have here in Chico.) I bought some groceries and was going to make freezer meals, but ended up just stocking their fridge/freeze/ and shelves. I watched the NHL draft that night.
When they called to tell me to come back the next morning, I rushed, excitedly, to the car....B U T it did NOT start. It didn't even click, it didn't turn over, it didn't do anything, it was DEAD. Completely. I called Dax. He said that had never happened before. He told me where the jumper cables were. I looked for someone to jump start me. I looked EVERYWHERE. It was 9:30 on a Saturday morning and there was not a soul around. ANYWHERE. I do have someone in Texas' number in my phone....from 2.5 years ago at Melanee's wedding.....Dax's brother. I called him to come rescue me. I also called Scott and he gave me several things to try. After at least an hour (it seems) of waiting, then trying things, Dax pulled up and noticed that the break lights were on. Dillon and I were in the front of the car, we never noticed the tail lights. I guess it was hard to charge the battery with break lights on. But the car DID start when Dax tried. He had the Midas touch! He also found the little thingy that had fallen out, so he did a temporary fix. I went back to the hospital with him. MELANEE WAS READY to leave. So was Miles, but he did NOT like the car seat AT ALL. The nurse went over a bunch of things before we could leave. They made Melanee WALK to the car!!!! She did fine, but I'm sure that was a long walk!
She checked out with a bag FULL of prescription drugs.
We struggled a bit with the car seat, but finally got it.
The drive home was nice. I am actually really glad that Dax was doing the drive home.....baby's first car ride!!!! GOING HOME. Breaking out of that prison, I mean hospital, haha!
I didn't have an exact plan of how long I would stay, but I flew there (and home) on "standby", meaning, really, that I don't get to PICK when I travel, I travel when there are seats available. In checking flight loads, the computer told me to go home on Sunday morning at 5 am. Saturday was my last day in San Antonio. I tried to make myself useful. I know, though, that I left at a bad time.....that night Melanee's milk came in!!!! OUCH!!!!!!!
Part 4 later.......if you want more????
too long
I just scrolled down and noticed HOW LONG my birth story recap blog post is, so if you want the same story, but don't want to read as many words, check out Melanee's blog http://melaneefarnsworth.blogspot.com/
The whole story (part 2)
So, if you haven't read part one, go read that first, so you know where we are in the story......
Melanee's early morning scheduled doctor's appointment showed CONTRACTIONS on a monitor. They monitored her for about 20 minutes and two or three people looked at her vitals and the machine and finally called in a doctor. The doctor told her that she WAS having contractions and that it was a slow day in the Labor and Delivery department, she asked if Melanee would like to do the induction today. During this brief, little, overview or orientation of what might happen, the doctor went over a WHOLE series of things quickly....things that I am pretty sure that Melanee did NOT understand and Melanee just said "yes" and signed the paper because she really wanted to have the baby that day. She was really excited. The doctor wasn't really talking to us, she was like a flight attendant going over the safety procedures like seatbelts and oxygen masks. She quickly spurted out facts with no emotion and just from memorization. She told about monitoring, about things that might happen, and I do remember hearing the words "attach a probe to the baby's scalp", I did hear "vacuum" and "forceps". She talked about life saving procedures. All that she was saying WAS important, but the way she rattled it off, her tone of voice, and Melanee's anticipation of getting admitted to the hospital that day makes me think, that she was not informative at all. Melanee signed the form and the doctor left. Melanee was then given an ultra sound and was checked to see how far dilated she was now. The doctor stuck the ultra sound wand on her belly for a whole of one second, JUST to see if the baby's head was down. She then checked inside......she told Melanee she was 3.5 cm dilated. Another nurse soon came in and reassured Melanee that even though she measured 4 cm at her last appointment a week ago, she could measure 3.5 now because all doctors measure differently. This nice nurse then did a complete ultra sound to check things like amniotic fluid, lungs, everything. It was fun. She was thorough and sensitive and sweet, unlike the doctor, who I don't think we ever saw again. Melanee put back on her clothes and we were walked to the room Melanee would get. It was room #5, which is Dax's old soccer number and it was located right across from a HUGE nurse's station. Melanee's assigned nurse was really nice. She gave us the whole run down and did it in a caring way....and even though she does it probably as often as that doctor did her "dangers of childbirth "speech"", she didn't sound robotic or feelingless. The room was beautiful and LARGE. The woodwork was a dark wood, there was a little table and two chairs, a fold out bed chair with arms, a private bathroom, a window with a view, and a high def tv with both ESPN channels.
By this time there were two nurses. Each took turns trying to find a vein on Melanee's arm to take some blood and insert an IV. They failed 3 times. On the 4th time, the nurse hadn't even brought over a towel or anything, so when she finally HIT a vein, blood went all over the bed, the sheet, the nurse, Melanee's arm, and the floor! (Second clue (after the first doctor's uncaring recitation of their policies) that this hospital didn't have the best staff.) But, with the IV in, we knew it WAS TIME. We texted Dax that maybe he should come to the hospital now, not later after lunch like he had planned. Our reasoning was that if she was already 4 cm opened and having contractions that she didn't even feel, as soon as they start the Pitocin, THINGS MAY GO QUICKLY. I think also, still fresh on our minds were Candace's own natural 3 hour home birth and Liz's 12 minute labor/delivery. And taking into consideration that Melanee was over due/HUGE, super fit and athletic, (I told everyone we met that she is a 4 time All American), and you just never know....we really didn't want Dax to miss anything. It was still pretty early in the day at this point. They told Melanee she could have only clear liquids such as broth, jello, juice, and/or a popsicle. It was lunch time so she ordered some of those from "room service". The Pitocin drip was turned on, but I'm pretty sure it was on extremely low at first, because nothing was happening. Nurses told Melanee about the 1 to 10 pain scale and used that throughout the day. Melanee kept smiling and each time she stated that her pain was a "Zero". I have had 2 labors on Pitocin, so I KNEW the "Zero" was going to quickly escalate once the Pitocin kicked in. We didn't really do anything that afternoon. We watched the World Cup. Melanee was strapped to two fetal/contraction monitors, an IV, and it seems like something else, so all she was allowed to do was walk to the bathroom, then come back and get plugged back in. If she wasn't all hooked up she may have been able to walk or sit on a regular chair. The nurse wrote on the white board Melanee's "goals"....which were "a natural" birth and a healthy baby/mom.
At one point the anesthesiologist came in and discussed with her all the pain relief methods, Melanee dismissed him, telling him, pretty much, "thanks, but I am doing this naturally, I don't need all that." I think he had her sign a release form stating that he had told her all the information and then left. By 5:00, Melanee ordered some more broth and a melted popsicle. The "room service" would only serve patients, so Dax and I went to the cafeteria. The hospital is HUGE and the cafeteria was far away, but we got our sandwiches to go and came straight back. Dax had a headache and no Tylenol, so he tried getting a caffeinated soda. When we walked back into the room, one of the doctors had broken Melanee's water to try to get things started. I saw at least 3 saturated towels and a few of those absorbent bed pad covers, I could tell a lot of fluid came out. Melanee also looked smaller. We ate, watched some bad tv shows, parts of some movies, and WAITED. Dax still had a headache and since he wasn't the patient, no one there could help him even though it was a hospital.
After they broke her water, Melanee did finally start to feel something. She did NOT like how she felt. She tensed way up and could not get comfortable. Even though she wanted a natural birth, she hadn't taken any birthing classes except for one that was more of a hospital tour. Her little book/journal had one or two pages on labor and delivery, but really she hadn't read anything or practiced anything like breathing or focal point or hypnosis or anything. She thought that since things like soccer injuries, her broken leg, stuff like that didn't really hurt, she must have a high threshold of pain and she would be able to manage labor just the same.
None of the doctors stayed in the room. (I say "none" because it seemed she had a different doctor every couple of hours of the laboring.) She didn't have a mid wife or a doula and Dax and I were also not prepared to help her with the natural birth she desired. I told her to breath. I told her to concentrate on something else, like a focal point. One nurse told her to wiggle her toes or tap her fingers, but really Melanee was on her own through the contractions. She basically gritted her way through them just sitting there uncomfortably. The nurse could tell from the monitors that Melanee was not breathing and was really tensing up during the contractions, so she mentioned it to Mel and told her that what she was doing wasn't good and was making the contractions not work. She also told her that she had to breath because her breathing correlated with Miles heart rate/surviving.
Melanee went a few hours of her form of natural birth....sitting calmly between contractions, tensing up through actual pain. She really thought she was near transition (8 cm) because she was getting nauseous and sweaty....so when the doctor checked her after 3 hours of this hard labor....she was at............you are not going to believe it..................4 cm.......FOUR CM, the same measurement she was at over a week ago at her regular doctor appointment!!!!!!!!!!!! Let's recap, 4 cm dialated for a week. 3.5 when got to the hospital (it can close????), 4 cm after 6 hours of Pitocin, 4 cm after 3 hours of labor after her membranes were ruptured and the contractions are regular and HURT????? FOUR!!!! Looked like a LONG night ahead. Earlier we were told that once contractions "got good" the cervix would open about a cm per hour of labor. When we were told that, I did the math in my head, and I figured she'd be having the baby around 7 PM. (PM!!!!!)...it was now 8 PM and she was still at 4 cm. A week over due, hours in the hospital, and still the cervix is STUCK SHUT. I guess (not "guess" I know) that right there and then, THAT HAD to be discouraging news to Melanee. She was like-- "I cant do this. This hurts THIS much and nothing is even happening. What am I going to feel like when the contractions ARE working?" That's when Dax said, "My head hurts this much and if someone offered ME an epidural, I'd instantly take it, no question.....and I'm sure you are hurting worse, so yeah, you should get it." (Not a direct quotation, even though I quoted it, haha.)
My role in the whole situation was support, so I didn't say anything against it....but I really wish I would have. I wish I would have used the days before, while we just sat on the couch watching soccer, to read some labor and delivery books with her. Some natural birth method books with her. Tell her more about the labor process. Be a better mother. I thought many times during my visit and Melanee's adulthood that I have failed as a mom, not because I was a bad mom, but because I was TOO GOOD of a mom, I did TOO much for her. And here, at this point in the hospital, I was THERE. I was PRESENT. She didn't have a doula, but she did have ME, her mother. I needed to be her ADVOCATE, not just a spectator. I needed to stop her and say--- "Melanee Farnsworth, IF you get this epidural, you will NOT be able to move your legs, AT ALL! You will have to have a catheter. You will not be able to leave the bed. You will not be able to roll over. And more importantly, THIS WILL TAKE LONGER. You wont meet your baby as soon if you do this." I just smiled. I thought that she shouldn't do it, but I didn't say anything. I wanted to say, "This is NOT a natural birth. You are giving up on your goal so quickly. You CAN DO IT. You are strong! Sure it will hurt, but it's WORTH IT." I also wanted to say, "Epidurals are EXPENSIVE, how do you think Jeni has so much money?!?!!!" But I said NOTHING. I failed her again!
The anesthesiologist did his thing. He also gave her something to make her sleep. Right around that time the nurse brought Dax and I pillows and blankets and the couch bed was pulled out. (I felt like everyone had given up.) It was about 10:00, maybe, and Dax didn't feel good, still so he went to sleep, as much as anyone can sleep on a springy, noisy, warped, UNCOMFORTABLE mattress. They told Melanee to go to sleep and when she awakes she might be ready to deliver. I thought, "WHAT?!?!?!!!! That's not labor. You cant sleep through LABOR. Labor is work, not sleep." While everyone rested, I watched the monitor. The nurse reassured us throughout the day that she had a monitor at her desk outside and the floor had a big monitor on the wall for all the nurses to observe....but I really felt like I needed to watch it. A few times the baby's heart rate seemed to drop, a few times it seemed to get high. I guess that could be from the monitor moving and the baby moving....but it still kept me awake. Also, Melanee's contractions, which were spiking over the top of the ribbon before the epidural, were only going about half way up while sleeping. I didn't think these half contractions could really do anything in the form of opening up her cervix while she slept!!!! But, her leg did twitch and she did toss and turn a little when the contractions would show up on the monitor, so I thought that was good.
One thing I don't like about being in the hospital is that the nurses come in every half hour. The door LOUDLY opens, the lights come on, she even talks. If Melanee was supposed to be resting, she was not getting any more than a half hour of rest at a time. Then, about mid night, Dax woke up. He started talking to Mel. I had my hearing aid out, so I have no idea what they chatted about, but I was giving them the evil eye, I wanted her to rest. THEN, they did SCRIPTURE STUDY....Not joking, they read their scriptures in the middle of labor!!!! haha!!!!!
Since Melanee couldn't move her legs, the nurse would come in and flip her every hour. She was supposed to be on her side, but each time Melanee would have her legs to the side, but her shoulders flat on the mattress. That pretty much twists her body and stops it from allowing the baby to come down. I pushed her over once, but it took the nurse explaining that to her for her to stay on her side. She told the nurse, every single time the nurse asked her how she was feeling, that her left leg "hurt" and that nurse never once seemed concerned about it. If she has an epidural and cant feel her legs....WHY WOULD ONE HURT....and why ONE leg, something had to be wrong!!!! right?
So the night went on like that. Rest, but awaken. Rest, but awaken. Oh yeah, and every time Melanee took a sip of water, she'd throw up. There was a full supply of barf bags on the wall and Melanee went through them ALL. The barf, along with the water breaking, the blood clean up from the IV, and all the gloves the staff used, BOTH garbage cans WERE overflowing before the delivery even started. Two trash cans of body waste!!!! Gross!
My job was to watch the monitor and hand her barf bags, but at around 3, with Dax stubbornly resting in a CHAIR, I took the "bed"...(I quote the word bed, because that thing was WORSE than the ground when you are camping with rocks under your sleeping bag)....also, whenever I moved, it would make all kinds of crinkling noises, which would wake Melanee up.
The doctor that checked Melanee through the night was off at 6 am. I think she wanted Mel to have the baby on her shift, so at 4 am, she did a check to see if she had progressed any further. I was hoping she was further than a four....but I was even doubtful of that because the contractions on the monitor were not strong or even all that close together! Guess what? Melanee was at a 10.....woo hoo....time to push. She passed the transition phase IN HER SLEEP!!!!! I guess epidurals do stop pain, because "transition" is THE WORST.
So, the next few minutes are hard for me to describe because I am not sure of all that went on and because everything in those minutes were a little (lot) traumatic. I think, maybe, if they would have had time, Dax and I should have probably been asked to leave the room!!!!!!
So, the doctor said, "You are at a 10, but we are going to do a thing called "labor down" so that you can get some more rest before the pushing process. We will let the epidural wear off more and you can start pushing when you FEEL the urge." The doctor was even standing up and taking off her gloves when the baby's heart rated dropped INSTANTLY to a 50 (it had been about 135 the whole evening). Melanee had NO IDEA what was going on. The monitor is placed where the patient can not see it. Melanee still could not feel her legs or contractions or anything. The staff was somehow notified because about 10 people ran into the room and they put Melanee on her side, but the baby's heart rate didn't rise, so they had her get up on her hands and knees (remember she cant feel her legs). They stuck a hard plastic oxygen mask on her and told her to breath deep. Melanee's head was down, she was on her elbows and knees and the baby in her stomach was just hanging down. That lasted for four minutes. And in those 4 minutes.....I thought the baby was going to die. It was intense. It was serious. Melanee, not knowing what's going on, did what she was told, even naked, with strangers in the room, in the most uncomfortable position possible up on a bed, she did exactly what she had to.
A table was brought out with all the tools a doctor needs for delivery and more. Knives, scissors, everything surgical that you can imagine. I think they noticed me checking the table out because the doctor sternly told the understudy who set them up to quickly COVER them up! (or maybe that was for germs to stay off of them, haha). We folded away the couch bed and cleared the room, because at one point I counted 14 people in there (plus the three of us). I stood by Melanee's head, but tried to stay out of all the doctors/nurses way. I couldn't see the heart rate monitor from where I stood, but there was a point where someone said, we need to get this baby out. The "labor down" thing never happened. The doctor TRIED to explain to Melanee and us what had happened.....but she didn't do a very good job explaining, all she said was "when I scratched his head, he didn't like it".....we have NO IDEA what that means....but in that pre admission robotic talk I do remember a thing about fetal head monitoring with the thing placed under the scalp and at this point the baby DID have a fetal head monitor, so I guess, when she put that in, he freaked out?!?!!!!! I really do not know, though. Melanee had to stay on the oxygen and that mask was uncomfortable, but it did seem to help the baby. They flipped her back over and lay her on her back, flat on her back, with the bed raised very high, and they stuck her legs in stirrups even higher above her head......
Now, I am NOT an expert in childbirth, I've only participated in 4 of them....but I do know that stirrups are a delivery method OF THE PAST.....seriously. How can laying on your back be comfortable or help a baby to come out. I did figure though, that they were the experts and maybe it needed to be this way because of the epidural and numb legs and maybe the flat on the back had to do with that baby's heart rate scare???? Melanee still did not have any sensations from the contractions, but when they saw them on the monitor, they would tell her to push. No one told her HOW to push, they just said "You are doing good, do it again". The doctor EVEN LEFT. Why would the doctor leave? Delivery must have been a way off if they let the nurse be in charge of pushing. Dax pushed up one leg, and I did the other. We had to hold them onto the stirrups between contractions, too, because she still couldn't feel or move them. Lame. Another big hurdle was going on besides the not being able to feel contractions/legs.....her contractions were 5 to 7 minutes apart during this pushing stage, so every time in between contractions, Miles would go back up, she'd push him down for a minute, he'd go back up for 7 minutes. So, they had the anesthesiologist turn down the epidural and they turned up the Pitocin.
Now might be a good time to mention the Pitocin.....at one point it was set to 18 at another it was set to 2.....and at other times all the numbers in between. It seemed to be controlled by the nurse. I question why it wasn't kept more steady. In labor, especially in delivery, you want the contractions constant.....not 5 minutes apart. So, when everyone says Melanee was pushing for 2 and a half hours, yeah that's difficult.....for anyone....at ANY rate.....but in a "usual" birth that would be a push to rest ratio of very close.....Melanee only pushed every 5 to 7 minutes, so it really wasn't THAT much or THAT exhausting (I mean, yes, to her it was, I'm not trying to put her down, at all, but she didn't get in as many pushes as it takes to push out a baby, does that make sense?) (He would have come out sooner/easier with more closer pushing attempts.)
I also don't think she was breathing correctly again. They would say "take a deep cleansing breath then PUSH"...she would kinda take a breath, breath it out then push. She said she felt like her eyes were going to pop out of her head or at least just pop. I told her, "then close them". I also told her to make some noise. She didn't. She wouldn't. I guess she had heard the lady in the room next door screaming through the night and didn't want to be that kind of mom, have that kind of birth experience.
This is about when the rotating random doctors started appearing. The one doctor's shift was over. I don't know if another doctor was late for work, if everyone just wanted a chance to try to deliver this baby, or if they rotate doctors routinely, but seriously, not joking, I think there was a different doctor down there on each push. We were at a military hospital which is also a teaching hospital, so there were observers there for learning and experience. Some of the doctors were MDs, some were OBGYNs, some were practitioners, one was a mid wife. Some were men, some were women. Some were old, some were VERY young. Some short, some tall....you get the idea. I was happy when the mid wife tried to deliver because Melanee was saying, "Can I get off my back, can I sit up, my leg hurts, can I lay on my side...." and the mid wife told everyone to let Melanee get in a position she was comfortable. But when I talked to Melanee after the whole experience, she said she liked the mid wife the least because she never did anything but sit there "letting everything just happen". The others all stuck their fingers and hands inside and tried to stretch and move things. At one point, a sort of funny little conversation happened, the mid wife stepped away, to sign someone out somewhere else or to get an apron or some odd reason to leave in the middle of delivery and a man stepped in and he tried through a contraction to coax Miles out. When the little midwife got back, his hands were all up in there and she said to him, as he stepped back, with her stern look, "Have you ever delivered a baby before?" and he indignantly replied, like she was crazy, "Yes". And when she turned away, he kinda rolled his eyes behind her back. But he left soon afterwards, I think she hurt his feelings!!!! The midwife was soon relived by yet another doctor. Not sure, but I think this may have been one of the doctors from the morning before....maybe even the one who recited the dangers of delivery...haha. She told Melanee that she was going to have to push harder and that it was time. She said that they don't let women go much longer than two hours of pushing and she would intervene before three hours, so Melanee should do this NOW.
The epidural was as low as it would go without being off, but I'm still not sure how many contractions Melanee was actually aware of because the doctor and nurses still had to tell her when to push. The new doctor still had Melanee flat on her back. The trying the squat bar or laying on her side or legs out of the stirrups was short lived. The doctor used both hands to open Melanee up with each contraction, but Melanee still couldn't push Miles out. I think having her sit up, the squat bar, on her side, or ANY other position would have changed things and made things go faster. When I had Andrew, I was practically standing and I think gravity helped him come out. At the 2 1/2 hour mark of pushing, one of the doctors asked Melanee simply, "Would you like us to help?" ANY 23 year old, first time in labor, young mom would say, "Yes" to that question. It wasn't, "Would you like a forceps delivery?" or "Would you like to give up now?" it was "Would you like us to help?" WE ARE AT THE HOSPITAL FOR YOU TO HELP, that is not even a question! She has been laboring for 23 hours, that is not even a question. She has been pushing for 2 1/2 hours, that is not even a question. ANYONE and EVERYONE on the planet would answer YES to the question----"Do you want help?"....uh yeah!!!!
But, I knew what she meant. And while she got set up for the forcep delivery, Melanee had one more contraction. I told her straight out, do it NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW you DO NOT want a forceps delivery, push hard NOW!!!!" But the baby stayed in. So, the doctors, there were two down there now......got out these HUGE salad tong looking metal things, one doctor stuck one in there......then the other......then adjusted them on Miles head. Then they used both of their strength to attach them together, so the forceps would grab and hold and squeeze Miles head. On Melanee's next contraction, they pulled, both of them.....and Melanee pushed and we could see the head, she kept pushing, they kept pulling and Miles came FLYING out. (How could that be good for his NECK?) One of them caught him and handed him off to the baby doctor and one of them held the forceps. In the delivery, those large metal barbaric things ripped THROUGH Melanee's well, let's just say EVERYTHING down there. The ripping that happened WOULD NOT have happened if just a baby came down through the birth canal....a baby and two large salad tongs do not fit down there. I know there is a lot of blood in child birth, lots of fluids coming out of a body.....but Melanee was bleeding internally and externally a lot....and they really were not wiping it away....the blood trails were hanging off of her, thick, and coagulating!!!! She did get to hold Miles for a brief "hello" but she still needed to push out the placenta and she still needed to get sewn back together. (In reading some of her discharge paperwork, this birth was called a "surgical vaginal delivery"....um, ok, whatever that is.......pretty much like a c section between her legs??? or something????) OUCH!!!!!
The nurse that was taking care of Melanee on Wed was back again on Thurs and she was one of the many over by Miles, she called me over with my camera and I got some good photos. He was born on June 26th at 7:48 and weighed 7 pounds 11 oz. Have you ever heard of a 7 pound baby who was a week overdue and needed a forceps delivery?????? No? Neither have I! I think some mistakes may have been made along the way during the whole pregnancy (the enlarged liver scare, that worked itself out and Melanee was never told that it had gone away?!?!?!!!!???!?!!!), the never knowing the correct due date, the swelling and high blood pressure and headaches not looked into, and the whole 23 hours in the hospital, just one thing after another that was questionable care. I don't think these health care providers were "bad" or that they knowingly provided a bad service....but I think it's a military/training hospital.....and they do things a certain way---the monitors.....the laying on the back.....the stirrups.....hey, maybe they had never done a forceps delivery and this was a chance to train someone in them or try them for their resume. They sure weren't good at them!
The "repair" to Melanee's whole perineum area took 45 minutes, with two people taking turns sewing and many, many sutures. Melanee was so swollen "down there" and I will just leave it at that.....this is a PG rated blog.
So, they sewed, and sewed and sewed. Miles was an 8 at first on the apgar scale in the 1st minute of life and a 9 in the 5th. That's pretty good. He was screaming a lot and there was a little conversation of a murmur, but of the 5 doctors that listened to it, examined him, not all of them heard it, so it was dismissed, just like the enlarged kidney way back at 20 weeks. Melanee wanted "skin to skin" contact, but Miles was pretty wiped off and clean when laid on her chest. She loved him at first sight. He was alert and lay in her arms while the doctors worked and worked and worked. They said they didn't need to give her any numbing shots before stitching because of the epidual, but I think they forgot that it was set as low as it would go and she was really feeling pain at this point.
This story is not over.....but I am home now and my house is a MESS......I will type up part 3 of this story later on.
Melanee's early morning scheduled doctor's appointment showed CONTRACTIONS on a monitor. They monitored her for about 20 minutes and two or three people looked at her vitals and the machine and finally called in a doctor. The doctor told her that she WAS having contractions and that it was a slow day in the Labor and Delivery department, she asked if Melanee would like to do the induction today. During this brief, little, overview or orientation of what might happen, the doctor went over a WHOLE series of things quickly....things that I am pretty sure that Melanee did NOT understand and Melanee just said "yes" and signed the paper because she really wanted to have the baby that day. She was really excited. The doctor wasn't really talking to us, she was like a flight attendant going over the safety procedures like seatbelts and oxygen masks. She quickly spurted out facts with no emotion and just from memorization. She told about monitoring, about things that might happen, and I do remember hearing the words "attach a probe to the baby's scalp", I did hear "vacuum" and "forceps". She talked about life saving procedures. All that she was saying WAS important, but the way she rattled it off, her tone of voice, and Melanee's anticipation of getting admitted to the hospital that day makes me think, that she was not informative at all. Melanee signed the form and the doctor left. Melanee was then given an ultra sound and was checked to see how far dilated she was now. The doctor stuck the ultra sound wand on her belly for a whole of one second, JUST to see if the baby's head was down. She then checked inside......she told Melanee she was 3.5 cm dilated. Another nurse soon came in and reassured Melanee that even though she measured 4 cm at her last appointment a week ago, she could measure 3.5 now because all doctors measure differently. This nice nurse then did a complete ultra sound to check things like amniotic fluid, lungs, everything. It was fun. She was thorough and sensitive and sweet, unlike the doctor, who I don't think we ever saw again. Melanee put back on her clothes and we were walked to the room Melanee would get. It was room #5, which is Dax's old soccer number and it was located right across from a HUGE nurse's station. Melanee's assigned nurse was really nice. She gave us the whole run down and did it in a caring way....and even though she does it probably as often as that doctor did her "dangers of childbirth "speech"", she didn't sound robotic or feelingless. The room was beautiful and LARGE. The woodwork was a dark wood, there was a little table and two chairs, a fold out bed chair with arms, a private bathroom, a window with a view, and a high def tv with both ESPN channels.
By this time there were two nurses. Each took turns trying to find a vein on Melanee's arm to take some blood and insert an IV. They failed 3 times. On the 4th time, the nurse hadn't even brought over a towel or anything, so when she finally HIT a vein, blood went all over the bed, the sheet, the nurse, Melanee's arm, and the floor! (Second clue (after the first doctor's uncaring recitation of their policies) that this hospital didn't have the best staff.) But, with the IV in, we knew it WAS TIME. We texted Dax that maybe he should come to the hospital now, not later after lunch like he had planned. Our reasoning was that if she was already 4 cm opened and having contractions that she didn't even feel, as soon as they start the Pitocin, THINGS MAY GO QUICKLY. I think also, still fresh on our minds were Candace's own natural 3 hour home birth and Liz's 12 minute labor/delivery. And taking into consideration that Melanee was over due/HUGE, super fit and athletic, (I told everyone we met that she is a 4 time All American), and you just never know....we really didn't want Dax to miss anything. It was still pretty early in the day at this point. They told Melanee she could have only clear liquids such as broth, jello, juice, and/or a popsicle. It was lunch time so she ordered some of those from "room service". The Pitocin drip was turned on, but I'm pretty sure it was on extremely low at first, because nothing was happening. Nurses told Melanee about the 1 to 10 pain scale and used that throughout the day. Melanee kept smiling and each time she stated that her pain was a "Zero". I have had 2 labors on Pitocin, so I KNEW the "Zero" was going to quickly escalate once the Pitocin kicked in. We didn't really do anything that afternoon. We watched the World Cup. Melanee was strapped to two fetal/contraction monitors, an IV, and it seems like something else, so all she was allowed to do was walk to the bathroom, then come back and get plugged back in. If she wasn't all hooked up she may have been able to walk or sit on a regular chair. The nurse wrote on the white board Melanee's "goals"....which were "a natural" birth and a healthy baby/mom.
At one point the anesthesiologist came in and discussed with her all the pain relief methods, Melanee dismissed him, telling him, pretty much, "thanks, but I am doing this naturally, I don't need all that." I think he had her sign a release form stating that he had told her all the information and then left. By 5:00, Melanee ordered some more broth and a melted popsicle. The "room service" would only serve patients, so Dax and I went to the cafeteria. The hospital is HUGE and the cafeteria was far away, but we got our sandwiches to go and came straight back. Dax had a headache and no Tylenol, so he tried getting a caffeinated soda. When we walked back into the room, one of the doctors had broken Melanee's water to try to get things started. I saw at least 3 saturated towels and a few of those absorbent bed pad covers, I could tell a lot of fluid came out. Melanee also looked smaller. We ate, watched some bad tv shows, parts of some movies, and WAITED. Dax still had a headache and since he wasn't the patient, no one there could help him even though it was a hospital.
After they broke her water, Melanee did finally start to feel something. She did NOT like how she felt. She tensed way up and could not get comfortable. Even though she wanted a natural birth, she hadn't taken any birthing classes except for one that was more of a hospital tour. Her little book/journal had one or two pages on labor and delivery, but really she hadn't read anything or practiced anything like breathing or focal point or hypnosis or anything. She thought that since things like soccer injuries, her broken leg, stuff like that didn't really hurt, she must have a high threshold of pain and she would be able to manage labor just the same.
None of the doctors stayed in the room. (I say "none" because it seemed she had a different doctor every couple of hours of the laboring.) She didn't have a mid wife or a doula and Dax and I were also not prepared to help her with the natural birth she desired. I told her to breath. I told her to concentrate on something else, like a focal point. One nurse told her to wiggle her toes or tap her fingers, but really Melanee was on her own through the contractions. She basically gritted her way through them just sitting there uncomfortably. The nurse could tell from the monitors that Melanee was not breathing and was really tensing up during the contractions, so she mentioned it to Mel and told her that what she was doing wasn't good and was making the contractions not work. She also told her that she had to breath because her breathing correlated with Miles heart rate/surviving.
Melanee went a few hours of her form of natural birth....sitting calmly between contractions, tensing up through actual pain. She really thought she was near transition (8 cm) because she was getting nauseous and sweaty....so when the doctor checked her after 3 hours of this hard labor....she was at............you are not going to believe it..................4 cm.......FOUR CM, the same measurement she was at over a week ago at her regular doctor appointment!!!!!!!!!!!! Let's recap, 4 cm dialated for a week. 3.5 when got to the hospital (it can close????), 4 cm after 6 hours of Pitocin, 4 cm after 3 hours of labor after her membranes were ruptured and the contractions are regular and HURT????? FOUR!!!! Looked like a LONG night ahead. Earlier we were told that once contractions "got good" the cervix would open about a cm per hour of labor. When we were told that, I did the math in my head, and I figured she'd be having the baby around 7 PM. (PM!!!!!)...it was now 8 PM and she was still at 4 cm. A week over due, hours in the hospital, and still the cervix is STUCK SHUT. I guess (not "guess" I know) that right there and then, THAT HAD to be discouraging news to Melanee. She was like-- "I cant do this. This hurts THIS much and nothing is even happening. What am I going to feel like when the contractions ARE working?" That's when Dax said, "My head hurts this much and if someone offered ME an epidural, I'd instantly take it, no question.....and I'm sure you are hurting worse, so yeah, you should get it." (Not a direct quotation, even though I quoted it, haha.)
My role in the whole situation was support, so I didn't say anything against it....but I really wish I would have. I wish I would have used the days before, while we just sat on the couch watching soccer, to read some labor and delivery books with her. Some natural birth method books with her. Tell her more about the labor process. Be a better mother. I thought many times during my visit and Melanee's adulthood that I have failed as a mom, not because I was a bad mom, but because I was TOO GOOD of a mom, I did TOO much for her. And here, at this point in the hospital, I was THERE. I was PRESENT. She didn't have a doula, but she did have ME, her mother. I needed to be her ADVOCATE, not just a spectator. I needed to stop her and say--- "Melanee Farnsworth, IF you get this epidural, you will NOT be able to move your legs, AT ALL! You will have to have a catheter. You will not be able to leave the bed. You will not be able to roll over. And more importantly, THIS WILL TAKE LONGER. You wont meet your baby as soon if you do this." I just smiled. I thought that she shouldn't do it, but I didn't say anything. I wanted to say, "This is NOT a natural birth. You are giving up on your goal so quickly. You CAN DO IT. You are strong! Sure it will hurt, but it's WORTH IT." I also wanted to say, "Epidurals are EXPENSIVE, how do you think Jeni has so much money?!?!!!" But I said NOTHING. I failed her again!
The anesthesiologist did his thing. He also gave her something to make her sleep. Right around that time the nurse brought Dax and I pillows and blankets and the couch bed was pulled out. (I felt like everyone had given up.) It was about 10:00, maybe, and Dax didn't feel good, still so he went to sleep, as much as anyone can sleep on a springy, noisy, warped, UNCOMFORTABLE mattress. They told Melanee to go to sleep and when she awakes she might be ready to deliver. I thought, "WHAT?!?!?!!!! That's not labor. You cant sleep through LABOR. Labor is work, not sleep." While everyone rested, I watched the monitor. The nurse reassured us throughout the day that she had a monitor at her desk outside and the floor had a big monitor on the wall for all the nurses to observe....but I really felt like I needed to watch it. A few times the baby's heart rate seemed to drop, a few times it seemed to get high. I guess that could be from the monitor moving and the baby moving....but it still kept me awake. Also, Melanee's contractions, which were spiking over the top of the ribbon before the epidural, were only going about half way up while sleeping. I didn't think these half contractions could really do anything in the form of opening up her cervix while she slept!!!! But, her leg did twitch and she did toss and turn a little when the contractions would show up on the monitor, so I thought that was good.
One thing I don't like about being in the hospital is that the nurses come in every half hour. The door LOUDLY opens, the lights come on, she even talks. If Melanee was supposed to be resting, she was not getting any more than a half hour of rest at a time. Then, about mid night, Dax woke up. He started talking to Mel. I had my hearing aid out, so I have no idea what they chatted about, but I was giving them the evil eye, I wanted her to rest. THEN, they did SCRIPTURE STUDY....Not joking, they read their scriptures in the middle of labor!!!! haha!!!!!
Since Melanee couldn't move her legs, the nurse would come in and flip her every hour. She was supposed to be on her side, but each time Melanee would have her legs to the side, but her shoulders flat on the mattress. That pretty much twists her body and stops it from allowing the baby to come down. I pushed her over once, but it took the nurse explaining that to her for her to stay on her side. She told the nurse, every single time the nurse asked her how she was feeling, that her left leg "hurt" and that nurse never once seemed concerned about it. If she has an epidural and cant feel her legs....WHY WOULD ONE HURT....and why ONE leg, something had to be wrong!!!! right?
So the night went on like that. Rest, but awaken. Rest, but awaken. Oh yeah, and every time Melanee took a sip of water, she'd throw up. There was a full supply of barf bags on the wall and Melanee went through them ALL. The barf, along with the water breaking, the blood clean up from the IV, and all the gloves the staff used, BOTH garbage cans WERE overflowing before the delivery even started. Two trash cans of body waste!!!! Gross!
My job was to watch the monitor and hand her barf bags, but at around 3, with Dax stubbornly resting in a CHAIR, I took the "bed"...(I quote the word bed, because that thing was WORSE than the ground when you are camping with rocks under your sleeping bag)....also, whenever I moved, it would make all kinds of crinkling noises, which would wake Melanee up.
The doctor that checked Melanee through the night was off at 6 am. I think she wanted Mel to have the baby on her shift, so at 4 am, she did a check to see if she had progressed any further. I was hoping she was further than a four....but I was even doubtful of that because the contractions on the monitor were not strong or even all that close together! Guess what? Melanee was at a 10.....woo hoo....time to push. She passed the transition phase IN HER SLEEP!!!!! I guess epidurals do stop pain, because "transition" is THE WORST.
So, the next few minutes are hard for me to describe because I am not sure of all that went on and because everything in those minutes were a little (lot) traumatic. I think, maybe, if they would have had time, Dax and I should have probably been asked to leave the room!!!!!!
So, the doctor said, "You are at a 10, but we are going to do a thing called "labor down" so that you can get some more rest before the pushing process. We will let the epidural wear off more and you can start pushing when you FEEL the urge." The doctor was even standing up and taking off her gloves when the baby's heart rated dropped INSTANTLY to a 50 (it had been about 135 the whole evening). Melanee had NO IDEA what was going on. The monitor is placed where the patient can not see it. Melanee still could not feel her legs or contractions or anything. The staff was somehow notified because about 10 people ran into the room and they put Melanee on her side, but the baby's heart rate didn't rise, so they had her get up on her hands and knees (remember she cant feel her legs). They stuck a hard plastic oxygen mask on her and told her to breath deep. Melanee's head was down, she was on her elbows and knees and the baby in her stomach was just hanging down. That lasted for four minutes. And in those 4 minutes.....I thought the baby was going to die. It was intense. It was serious. Melanee, not knowing what's going on, did what she was told, even naked, with strangers in the room, in the most uncomfortable position possible up on a bed, she did exactly what she had to.
A table was brought out with all the tools a doctor needs for delivery and more. Knives, scissors, everything surgical that you can imagine. I think they noticed me checking the table out because the doctor sternly told the understudy who set them up to quickly COVER them up! (or maybe that was for germs to stay off of them, haha). We folded away the couch bed and cleared the room, because at one point I counted 14 people in there (plus the three of us). I stood by Melanee's head, but tried to stay out of all the doctors/nurses way. I couldn't see the heart rate monitor from where I stood, but there was a point where someone said, we need to get this baby out. The "labor down" thing never happened. The doctor TRIED to explain to Melanee and us what had happened.....but she didn't do a very good job explaining, all she said was "when I scratched his head, he didn't like it".....we have NO IDEA what that means....but in that pre admission robotic talk I do remember a thing about fetal head monitoring with the thing placed under the scalp and at this point the baby DID have a fetal head monitor, so I guess, when she put that in, he freaked out?!?!!!!! I really do not know, though. Melanee had to stay on the oxygen and that mask was uncomfortable, but it did seem to help the baby. They flipped her back over and lay her on her back, flat on her back, with the bed raised very high, and they stuck her legs in stirrups even higher above her head......
Now, I am NOT an expert in childbirth, I've only participated in 4 of them....but I do know that stirrups are a delivery method OF THE PAST.....seriously. How can laying on your back be comfortable or help a baby to come out. I did figure though, that they were the experts and maybe it needed to be this way because of the epidural and numb legs and maybe the flat on the back had to do with that baby's heart rate scare???? Melanee still did not have any sensations from the contractions, but when they saw them on the monitor, they would tell her to push. No one told her HOW to push, they just said "You are doing good, do it again". The doctor EVEN LEFT. Why would the doctor leave? Delivery must have been a way off if they let the nurse be in charge of pushing. Dax pushed up one leg, and I did the other. We had to hold them onto the stirrups between contractions, too, because she still couldn't feel or move them. Lame. Another big hurdle was going on besides the not being able to feel contractions/legs.....her contractions were 5 to 7 minutes apart during this pushing stage, so every time in between contractions, Miles would go back up, she'd push him down for a minute, he'd go back up for 7 minutes. So, they had the anesthesiologist turn down the epidural and they turned up the Pitocin.
Now might be a good time to mention the Pitocin.....at one point it was set to 18 at another it was set to 2.....and at other times all the numbers in between. It seemed to be controlled by the nurse. I question why it wasn't kept more steady. In labor, especially in delivery, you want the contractions constant.....not 5 minutes apart. So, when everyone says Melanee was pushing for 2 and a half hours, yeah that's difficult.....for anyone....at ANY rate.....but in a "usual" birth that would be a push to rest ratio of very close.....Melanee only pushed every 5 to 7 minutes, so it really wasn't THAT much or THAT exhausting (I mean, yes, to her it was, I'm not trying to put her down, at all, but she didn't get in as many pushes as it takes to push out a baby, does that make sense?) (He would have come out sooner/easier with more closer pushing attempts.)
I also don't think she was breathing correctly again. They would say "take a deep cleansing breath then PUSH"...she would kinda take a breath, breath it out then push. She said she felt like her eyes were going to pop out of her head or at least just pop. I told her, "then close them". I also told her to make some noise. She didn't. She wouldn't. I guess she had heard the lady in the room next door screaming through the night and didn't want to be that kind of mom, have that kind of birth experience.
This is about when the rotating random doctors started appearing. The one doctor's shift was over. I don't know if another doctor was late for work, if everyone just wanted a chance to try to deliver this baby, or if they rotate doctors routinely, but seriously, not joking, I think there was a different doctor down there on each push. We were at a military hospital which is also a teaching hospital, so there were observers there for learning and experience. Some of the doctors were MDs, some were OBGYNs, some were practitioners, one was a mid wife. Some were men, some were women. Some were old, some were VERY young. Some short, some tall....you get the idea. I was happy when the mid wife tried to deliver because Melanee was saying, "Can I get off my back, can I sit up, my leg hurts, can I lay on my side...." and the mid wife told everyone to let Melanee get in a position she was comfortable. But when I talked to Melanee after the whole experience, she said she liked the mid wife the least because she never did anything but sit there "letting everything just happen". The others all stuck their fingers and hands inside and tried to stretch and move things. At one point, a sort of funny little conversation happened, the mid wife stepped away, to sign someone out somewhere else or to get an apron or some odd reason to leave in the middle of delivery and a man stepped in and he tried through a contraction to coax Miles out. When the little midwife got back, his hands were all up in there and she said to him, as he stepped back, with her stern look, "Have you ever delivered a baby before?" and he indignantly replied, like she was crazy, "Yes". And when she turned away, he kinda rolled his eyes behind her back. But he left soon afterwards, I think she hurt his feelings!!!! The midwife was soon relived by yet another doctor. Not sure, but I think this may have been one of the doctors from the morning before....maybe even the one who recited the dangers of delivery...haha. She told Melanee that she was going to have to push harder and that it was time. She said that they don't let women go much longer than two hours of pushing and she would intervene before three hours, so Melanee should do this NOW.
The epidural was as low as it would go without being off, but I'm still not sure how many contractions Melanee was actually aware of because the doctor and nurses still had to tell her when to push. The new doctor still had Melanee flat on her back. The trying the squat bar or laying on her side or legs out of the stirrups was short lived. The doctor used both hands to open Melanee up with each contraction, but Melanee still couldn't push Miles out. I think having her sit up, the squat bar, on her side, or ANY other position would have changed things and made things go faster. When I had Andrew, I was practically standing and I think gravity helped him come out. At the 2 1/2 hour mark of pushing, one of the doctors asked Melanee simply, "Would you like us to help?" ANY 23 year old, first time in labor, young mom would say, "Yes" to that question. It wasn't, "Would you like a forceps delivery?" or "Would you like to give up now?" it was "Would you like us to help?" WE ARE AT THE HOSPITAL FOR YOU TO HELP, that is not even a question! She has been laboring for 23 hours, that is not even a question. She has been pushing for 2 1/2 hours, that is not even a question. ANYONE and EVERYONE on the planet would answer YES to the question----"Do you want help?"....uh yeah!!!!
But, I knew what she meant. And while she got set up for the forcep delivery, Melanee had one more contraction. I told her straight out, do it NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW you DO NOT want a forceps delivery, push hard NOW!!!!" But the baby stayed in. So, the doctors, there were two down there now......got out these HUGE salad tong looking metal things, one doctor stuck one in there......then the other......then adjusted them on Miles head. Then they used both of their strength to attach them together, so the forceps would grab and hold and squeeze Miles head. On Melanee's next contraction, they pulled, both of them.....and Melanee pushed and we could see the head, she kept pushing, they kept pulling and Miles came FLYING out. (How could that be good for his NECK?) One of them caught him and handed him off to the baby doctor and one of them held the forceps. In the delivery, those large metal barbaric things ripped THROUGH Melanee's well, let's just say EVERYTHING down there. The ripping that happened WOULD NOT have happened if just a baby came down through the birth canal....a baby and two large salad tongs do not fit down there. I know there is a lot of blood in child birth, lots of fluids coming out of a body.....but Melanee was bleeding internally and externally a lot....and they really were not wiping it away....the blood trails were hanging off of her, thick, and coagulating!!!! She did get to hold Miles for a brief "hello" but she still needed to push out the placenta and she still needed to get sewn back together. (In reading some of her discharge paperwork, this birth was called a "surgical vaginal delivery"....um, ok, whatever that is.......pretty much like a c section between her legs??? or something????) OUCH!!!!!
The nurse that was taking care of Melanee on Wed was back again on Thurs and she was one of the many over by Miles, she called me over with my camera and I got some good photos. He was born on June 26th at 7:48 and weighed 7 pounds 11 oz. Have you ever heard of a 7 pound baby who was a week overdue and needed a forceps delivery?????? No? Neither have I! I think some mistakes may have been made along the way during the whole pregnancy (the enlarged liver scare, that worked itself out and Melanee was never told that it had gone away?!?!?!!!!???!?!!!), the never knowing the correct due date, the swelling and high blood pressure and headaches not looked into, and the whole 23 hours in the hospital, just one thing after another that was questionable care. I don't think these health care providers were "bad" or that they knowingly provided a bad service....but I think it's a military/training hospital.....and they do things a certain way---the monitors.....the laying on the back.....the stirrups.....hey, maybe they had never done a forceps delivery and this was a chance to train someone in them or try them for their resume. They sure weren't good at them!
The "repair" to Melanee's whole perineum area took 45 minutes, with two people taking turns sewing and many, many sutures. Melanee was so swollen "down there" and I will just leave it at that.....this is a PG rated blog.
So, they sewed, and sewed and sewed. Miles was an 8 at first on the apgar scale in the 1st minute of life and a 9 in the 5th. That's pretty good. He was screaming a lot and there was a little conversation of a murmur, but of the 5 doctors that listened to it, examined him, not all of them heard it, so it was dismissed, just like the enlarged kidney way back at 20 weeks. Melanee wanted "skin to skin" contact, but Miles was pretty wiped off and clean when laid on her chest. She loved him at first sight. He was alert and lay in her arms while the doctors worked and worked and worked. They said they didn't need to give her any numbing shots before stitching because of the epidual, but I think they forgot that it was set as low as it would go and she was really feeling pain at this point.
This story is not over.....but I am home now and my house is a MESS......I will type up part 3 of this story later on.
6/29/14
the whole story
You've seen the pictures, now do you want to whole story???
It might take 23 hours to write, because that's how long it took to happen (maybe longer if you count the "aftermath" and recovery).
Soooooo, Melanee has been measuring HUGE at all her prenatal visits. The pictures she has posted for me to see made me think she was further along than her due date or that she was just going to have a GINORMOUS baby. School ended the first week of June and my friend Michelle said I should jump on an airplane on my first day of summer. Melanee's due date was June 18th, so I thought I'd shoot for that day. I did not want to miss the birth, but picking a flight was really hard because the San Francisco airport is having runway construction, so many flights in and out are canceled daily. My dad has a way of checking on his computer the flight loads, so we picked the 21st. I was talking to my dad on the 20th and he said that we couldn't print out boarding passes more than 24 hours in advance, so I asked him to check THAT DAY. He looked and said, "Why not try it!" So, I called Melanee, called Scott, and decided to pack my bag, my camera, and the couple of gifts I had bought, then William drove me to the airport. I got on the first flight. I was on my way. SO EXCITING! I love to travel. I love airplane flights. I love to go see my daughter!!!!
After landing in San Francisco, the San Antonio flight was delayed. I sat in a place where I could watch the World Cup game on a café tv (I didn't go into the café, just sat nearby, haha.) That helped time pass. I didn't have a book, a smart phone, ipod, nothing to entertain me, so without the game, I would have probably gone insane. They changed my gate a few times, so that was concerning, but each change was in the same terminal wing, so I didn't have too far to walk. While waiting I also saw one of my old bosses. We talked for a while catching up on each other's lives. She was on her way home from visiting her grown son in Chicago. It's funny that I've NEVER seen her around town in Chico, but I saw her in San Francisco!
The second flight was just NOT a fun travel experience. A nearby passenger threw up for most of the three hours and I could smell it and see it.......ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
But when I got off the plane, Melanee and Dax quickly picked me up and all bad memories of the flight were quickly gone! I got to sit in the back seat with the baby's car seat and that made everything seem real! This was really happening!!!! Melanee was just so large, I mean her belly. I don't think I was ever near that big and one of my babies was 11 pounds 1 oz. According to her due date, she was a week over due, sooooooo I was hoping they wouldn't let her go longer, an 11 pound baby would hurt for a first birth (my 11 pounder was Andrew, my 4th.) Her feet was SWOLLEN. She had also been having head aches and high blood pressure. NEVER look up ANY symptoms on WebMD or any Google search because you will find a diagnosis that will surely tell you that you are about to die. But, I did look up those three symptoms and got "Pre Eclampsia" as the diagnosis. I remember once watching an episode of the show "E.R." and a lady DIED of preeclampsia, so I was worried. We stayed up chatting a bit, but I knew that Dax really likes to get a set amount of sleep each night, so I said, "Let's all go to bed"....but I was still on California time, so I stayed up longer!!! haha. The next morning was Saturday and Dax was off work. We woke up, ate a nice breakfast, and OF COURSE watched SOCCER. Between games we went to a park that was similar to Chico's 1 mile. We took some pictures and saw some ducks and got startled by a train (I did, they knew there was a train there, so they were probably used to that sound!!!) Then we went to lunch at a Texas favorite (that they don't have in California) called Whataburger. We all ordered our food to go because there was another World Cup game on that we didn't want to miss!
Later that day, we ate dinner and decided to try to go to a semi pro soccer game in town. They were playing Jonny Bornstein's old team. It was a sell out and half the stadium was filled with Tigres fans. We refused to by tickets from scalpers and Dax knew his brother lived close by and would have it on his tv, so we went to his brother's house instead and saved $38 dollars a piece. It was nice to see Dillon's house because that's where Melanee and Dax used to live, and before that, it was Dax's childhood home. There we got to see Dillon (and his wife's) newborn baby who was born on MELANEE'S due date, after only 12 minutes of labor/pushing!!!!! She seemed TINY.
The next day we went to church. When we pulled up to the parking lot, Melanee said, "I wonder how many people will wonder why I still haven't had my baby." EVERYONE asked her why she was still there. She even taught her Sunday School class. Her ward is a lot bigger than mine. Everyone seemed pretty nice. Our whole row was taken up with Farnsworths. Dax has 5 brothers in the ward, haha!
After church, we were SO excited because.......USA USA USA.....the USMNT had a game that night. We went over to Dax's house to watch it. Dax's dad's house had a room in it with 4 TV's. The brothers were all in that room watching the game. We went to the front room because there weren't any chairs in the 4 tv room. The front room had a nice high def large tv, so I was happy! It was fun to watch the game with them......except, the USA tied right at the very last second of the game, it was heartbreaking!!!! After SO MUCH excitement, the let down was hard. We went home in virtual silence.
I think we may have played cards or watched House that night. Every time we turned on the tv, it was replaying that last second heartbreaking goal. NO MORE TV, could not take it!!!
The next day was Monday. Dax had to work. Melanee and I watched soccer. We made dinner. And when Dax got home we went to down town San Antonio to see the Alamo and the River Walk and to hopefully get labor going with all our walking....but nothing happened.
On Tuesday, we watched more World Cup and the second game was a little dull, so Melanee and I drove to a different part of San Antonio and found a Costco. My hearing aid batteries that I had bought the last time were expensive and didn't last AT ALL. Someone told me to try Costco. I am so happy I did because for MORE batteries, I paid LESS money and they seem to be lasting a longer amount of time. We also are happy that we found the good brand of brownie mix!!!!
After Costco we went to the San Antonio temple just to walk around because it is so beautiful.
When we got home Dax was there and dinner was not made, oops. So we decided to throw together some simple spaghetti.....when it was time to buy the sauce, they were out of sauce....so we made it with tomato sauce. It was actually pretty tasty!!! That might have been the night we played cards...but definitely we watched "House"....and I think it was an episode about a baby in a mommies tummy who needed surgery, so probably not the best episode to watch.
That whole week we had done almost ALL of the old wives tale secrets to get labor started naturally. We ate pineapple, bounced on an exercise ball, walked, drank orange juice, reflexology foot/ankle rubs, she had a chiropractic adjustment, even acupuncture.....and they did other unmentionables....I think!
So, by Wednesday, she was READY to have the baby. The USA had another game on Thursday and Thursday was her scheduled induction, so Wed would be a better day to have the baby. She had a doctor's appointment that morning. She brought her bags, "just in case". At the appointment, the first thing they did was hook her up to a monitor to monitor the baby's heart rate and her contractions. Even though she wasn't feeling ANYTHING, the monitor showed that she WAS having contractions.
come back later for part two of this story!!!!
It might take 23 hours to write, because that's how long it took to happen (maybe longer if you count the "aftermath" and recovery).
Soooooo, Melanee has been measuring HUGE at all her prenatal visits. The pictures she has posted for me to see made me think she was further along than her due date or that she was just going to have a GINORMOUS baby. School ended the first week of June and my friend Michelle said I should jump on an airplane on my first day of summer. Melanee's due date was June 18th, so I thought I'd shoot for that day. I did not want to miss the birth, but picking a flight was really hard because the San Francisco airport is having runway construction, so many flights in and out are canceled daily. My dad has a way of checking on his computer the flight loads, so we picked the 21st. I was talking to my dad on the 20th and he said that we couldn't print out boarding passes more than 24 hours in advance, so I asked him to check THAT DAY. He looked and said, "Why not try it!" So, I called Melanee, called Scott, and decided to pack my bag, my camera, and the couple of gifts I had bought, then William drove me to the airport. I got on the first flight. I was on my way. SO EXCITING! I love to travel. I love airplane flights. I love to go see my daughter!!!!
After landing in San Francisco, the San Antonio flight was delayed. I sat in a place where I could watch the World Cup game on a café tv (I didn't go into the café, just sat nearby, haha.) That helped time pass. I didn't have a book, a smart phone, ipod, nothing to entertain me, so without the game, I would have probably gone insane. They changed my gate a few times, so that was concerning, but each change was in the same terminal wing, so I didn't have too far to walk. While waiting I also saw one of my old bosses. We talked for a while catching up on each other's lives. She was on her way home from visiting her grown son in Chicago. It's funny that I've NEVER seen her around town in Chico, but I saw her in San Francisco!
The second flight was just NOT a fun travel experience. A nearby passenger threw up for most of the three hours and I could smell it and see it.......ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
But when I got off the plane, Melanee and Dax quickly picked me up and all bad memories of the flight were quickly gone! I got to sit in the back seat with the baby's car seat and that made everything seem real! This was really happening!!!! Melanee was just so large, I mean her belly. I don't think I was ever near that big and one of my babies was 11 pounds 1 oz. According to her due date, she was a week over due, sooooooo I was hoping they wouldn't let her go longer, an 11 pound baby would hurt for a first birth (my 11 pounder was Andrew, my 4th.) Her feet was SWOLLEN. She had also been having head aches and high blood pressure. NEVER look up ANY symptoms on WebMD or any Google search because you will find a diagnosis that will surely tell you that you are about to die. But, I did look up those three symptoms and got "Pre Eclampsia" as the diagnosis. I remember once watching an episode of the show "E.R." and a lady DIED of preeclampsia, so I was worried. We stayed up chatting a bit, but I knew that Dax really likes to get a set amount of sleep each night, so I said, "Let's all go to bed"....but I was still on California time, so I stayed up longer!!! haha. The next morning was Saturday and Dax was off work. We woke up, ate a nice breakfast, and OF COURSE watched SOCCER. Between games we went to a park that was similar to Chico's 1 mile. We took some pictures and saw some ducks and got startled by a train (I did, they knew there was a train there, so they were probably used to that sound!!!) Then we went to lunch at a Texas favorite (that they don't have in California) called Whataburger. We all ordered our food to go because there was another World Cup game on that we didn't want to miss!
Later that day, we ate dinner and decided to try to go to a semi pro soccer game in town. They were playing Jonny Bornstein's old team. It was a sell out and half the stadium was filled with Tigres fans. We refused to by tickets from scalpers and Dax knew his brother lived close by and would have it on his tv, so we went to his brother's house instead and saved $38 dollars a piece. It was nice to see Dillon's house because that's where Melanee and Dax used to live, and before that, it was Dax's childhood home. There we got to see Dillon (and his wife's) newborn baby who was born on MELANEE'S due date, after only 12 minutes of labor/pushing!!!!! She seemed TINY.
The next day we went to church. When we pulled up to the parking lot, Melanee said, "I wonder how many people will wonder why I still haven't had my baby." EVERYONE asked her why she was still there. She even taught her Sunday School class. Her ward is a lot bigger than mine. Everyone seemed pretty nice. Our whole row was taken up with Farnsworths. Dax has 5 brothers in the ward, haha!
After church, we were SO excited because.......USA USA USA.....the USMNT had a game that night. We went over to Dax's house to watch it. Dax's dad's house had a room in it with 4 TV's. The brothers were all in that room watching the game. We went to the front room because there weren't any chairs in the 4 tv room. The front room had a nice high def large tv, so I was happy! It was fun to watch the game with them......except, the USA tied right at the very last second of the game, it was heartbreaking!!!! After SO MUCH excitement, the let down was hard. We went home in virtual silence.
I think we may have played cards or watched House that night. Every time we turned on the tv, it was replaying that last second heartbreaking goal. NO MORE TV, could not take it!!!
The next day was Monday. Dax had to work. Melanee and I watched soccer. We made dinner. And when Dax got home we went to down town San Antonio to see the Alamo and the River Walk and to hopefully get labor going with all our walking....but nothing happened.
On Tuesday, we watched more World Cup and the second game was a little dull, so Melanee and I drove to a different part of San Antonio and found a Costco. My hearing aid batteries that I had bought the last time were expensive and didn't last AT ALL. Someone told me to try Costco. I am so happy I did because for MORE batteries, I paid LESS money and they seem to be lasting a longer amount of time. We also are happy that we found the good brand of brownie mix!!!!
After Costco we went to the San Antonio temple just to walk around because it is so beautiful.
When we got home Dax was there and dinner was not made, oops. So we decided to throw together some simple spaghetti.....when it was time to buy the sauce, they were out of sauce....so we made it with tomato sauce. It was actually pretty tasty!!! That might have been the night we played cards...but definitely we watched "House"....and I think it was an episode about a baby in a mommies tummy who needed surgery, so probably not the best episode to watch.
That whole week we had done almost ALL of the old wives tale secrets to get labor started naturally. We ate pineapple, bounced on an exercise ball, walked, drank orange juice, reflexology foot/ankle rubs, she had a chiropractic adjustment, even acupuncture.....and they did other unmentionables....I think!
So, by Wednesday, she was READY to have the baby. The USA had another game on Thursday and Thursday was her scheduled induction, so Wed would be a better day to have the baby. She had a doctor's appointment that morning. She brought her bags, "just in case". At the appointment, the first thing they did was hook her up to a monitor to monitor the baby's heart rate and her contractions. Even though she wasn't feeling ANYTHING, the monitor showed that she WAS having contractions.
come back later for part two of this story!!!!
today's pic
Miles looks different each day. I hope I can go back soon!!!!
6/28/14
welcome HOME
this is how my day started-
Melanee called me to say, "Come get us, the car seat is in the car you are driving!!!" So, I rushed to the car, turned the key, WOULDN'T start.
Dax's brother rescued me.....AND Dax came home. Once we got the problem figured out, we were on our way to bring Melanee and Miles home.
Biggest hospital I've ever seen.
They were READY to go...but Miles hated his car seat.
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| now everyone is napping |
6/27/14
more pics
Dax bought Melanee some SaltWater Sandals!
security thingy...if you tried to walk out of the department with the baby wearing this....or even removed this....ALL the doors in the hospital would lock shut!
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