Friday, March 12, 2010
Why!!!
Why is such a simple dream so hard to achieve?
To pour all of myself into this goal, to win the champion trophy for my team, to regain the honor we lost.
Why is it that I've to compromise so much just for a chance to touch this goal?
1)From a player to a coach. 2)From a team I love to a team I believe in. 3)From a sport I enjoyed to a spot I sacrificed freely for.
Why...?
1)I took up the responsibility of being a coach, gave up my freedom, and yet, all they saw is that I gave up my "full time slutting".
2)Just to rant. I was never called a slut before wildcards. I lost my love to cheer/wildcards. I gave up training with the team I loved and the team I lost the best years of my life to. All just for this team.
3) I stayed in Magnum Force with nothing other then an obligation, to regain the squad's honor. To set up a team where I'm referred to as slut hurts each time I hear it. "TAKE the FUCKING HINT!!! " "I'm not a slut!!!!"
the fudging began at 9:56 AM
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Emo One liners
I won't mind another bite on the face and three more stitches just for one more chance to start over...
When a heart shatters, it might take years before the shards stop tinkling...
Lyrics from songs
Right now
Time has froze, since you left our world behind
I wish I could reverse the past, and go back to those times..
Wo hui hao hao guo (Translated)
There must be some corner in your heart where you still remember me...
Xin ru dao ge(Translated)
What would you have done if I begged you not to go and stay with me that day? Would you still have let your hand go?
What would you do if I were to ask you to forgive me my past mistakes today? Would you be able to accept my sincere pleadings?
the fudging began at 10:52 AM
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Hope
I have no idea how to articulate my words and emotions... This post is really just the outpouring of what I'm feeling now, and is not expected to make sense...
In these one years and seven months since you've got attached, I've never allowed myself to have the smallest bit of hope.I snuffed it out whenever I felt that it was possible that I could be together with you again.
After all, why would you want to come back to me? Even if you were to break up, there are literally multitudes of guys going after you.
And yet...Seeing what you wrote, just thinking that I might have the smallest chance, rips off the scab over the pain...
Who can I talk to? Who do I trust?
Do I return to my immature year one days of that dumb crush? Fake grins and obvious emo-ness? Wasting my own and every's time?
Or do I reenact the time in year 3 when we really broke up? Completely break down and be only be held together by obligations?
Or Do I act the way I do during training when I'm unhappy? hold it in so training can run smoothly?
What should I do? How should I act? How should I talk to you again...?
Funny thing hope is...Why aren't I laughing then? Why is it hurting just to think I might be able to see you again...?
the fudging began at 12:22 AM
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Prom Night
Gonna get around to editing it...Eventually...um...I think..
the fudging began at 7:39 AM
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Things I wanna do after Os
1)Get a job
2)Get a bike
3)
4)Pick up a martial art
5)Dye my hair
6)Catch up with friends
7)Watch all the vcds of movies that I've wated to watch
8)Clear up and paint my room
9)Get a door knob for my room
10)Start working out again
11)Decide if it's worth getting a tan
Items
not numbered in sequence of importence or of time I will do them.Things will be added as I think of,remember or is reminded of them.
the fudging began at 7:46 AM
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Gone
Just struck me that my last year of secondary school is over...
Before this I did realise of cause that I'm not going back to school for lessons...But while I did comprehend,I din't give much thought to it(Beyond the "No more school!" kinda thoughts of cause)...It was like...a thorn in the feet of my mind,annoying,but not annoying enough to stop just to pluck it out...
The choice of when to examine this thorn was taken from me when played songs played during assembly came up in my playlist...Those from school would remember...songs like Nothing's gonna change my love for you,Eternal Flame and Purest of Pain...suddenly it struck me that I won't be going to school for lessons anymore...(remedial don't really count...)
No more rushing for morning assembly...No more boring canteen food...Gone are the days of laughing at the councillers' pittiful attempts to bring order to a school like ours...Never again will we trudge from classroom to classroom waiting for the blessed tones of the school bell signifying the end of school...
Simple things that were moulded into habbit after five years...It feels like waking up in middle of the night coz your blanket fell to the floor...You realise that you were cold for some time but wasen't awake enough to notice that you were cold...
My secondary school days might not have been the best I could have had...But they were mine...And I shall mourn their passing...
the fudging began at 10:36 AM
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Testing
Testing
the fudging began at 7:57 AM
