Begin with the end in mind,

See death as the final destination

Someone who long for a rejuvenation of childhood innocent in this world of hypocrisy and irony... Someone who long for a touch of love in this cold and heartless strange land... Like a fallen angel, heaven seems to be so near, yet so far from me... Begin with the end in mind. Think death as the destination, As we edge closer to it everyday I love you

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Utilitarianism

I am not a Hedonist. Neither am I a Utilitarian.

Utilitarian mindset might appear logical and rational, but there are simply more things to consider when one makes a decision. I have my reservations on judging whether the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaka and the invasion of Iraq are right, even though it might appear that the total net benefits over shortcomings is positive. However, i believe that when the American presidents were making these decisions, there are more factors other than Utilitarianism that prompted their decisions, e.g. the expectation of Americans, the psychological pressures in the Presidents.

Utilitarian is also the principal proponent of "the end justify the mean". By the principle of Utilitarianism, an action intended to cause harm but that inadvertently causes good results would be judged equal to the result from an action done with good intentions. Besides, if torture or slavery is beneficial for the population as a whole, it could theoretically be justified by utilitarianism as well.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utilitarian
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/consequentialism/#1

From the start, the hedonism in classic utilitarianism was treated with contempt. Some contemporaries of Bentham and Mill argued that hedonism lowers the value of human life to the level of animals, because, as Bentham said, a simple game, such as push-pin, is as good as poetry if the game creates as much pleasure. Quantitative hedonists sometimes respond that great poetry almost always creates more pleasure than trivial games (or sex and drugs and rock-and-roll), because the pleasures of poetry are more certain, durable, fecund, and so on.

Mill used a different strategy to avoid calling push-pin as good as poetry. He distinguished higher and lower qualities of pleasures according to the preferences of people who have experienced both kinds (Mill 1861, 56; compare Hutcheson 1755, 421-23). This qualitative hedonism has been subjected to much criticism, including charges that it is incoherent and does not count as hedonism (Moore 1903, 80-81; cf. Feldman 1997, 106-24).

Even if qualitative hedonism is coherent and is a kind of hedonism, it still might not seem plausible. Some critics argue that not all pleasures are valuable, since, for example, there is no value in the pleasures of a sadist while whipping a victim. Other opponents object that not only pleasures are intrinsically valuable, because other things are valuable independently of whether they lead to pleasure or avoid pain. For example, my love for my wife does not seem to become less valuable when I get less pleasure from her because she gets some horrible disease. Similarly, freedom seems valuable even when it creates anxiety, and even when it is freedom to do something (such as leave one's country) that one does not want to do. Again, many people value knowledge of other galaxies regardless of whether this knowledge will create pleasure or avoid pain.

These points against hedonism are often supplemented with the story of the experience machine found in Nozick (1974, 42-45). People on this machine believe they are surrounded by friends, winning Olympic gold medals and Nobel prizes, having sex with their favorite lovers, or doing whatever gives them the greatest balance of pleasure over pain. Although they have no real friends or lovers and actually accomplish nothing, people on the experience machine get just as much pleasure as if their beliefs were true. Moreover, they feel no (or little) pain. Assuming that the machine is reliable, it would seem irrational not to hook oneself up to this machine if pleasure and pain were all that mattered, as hedonists claim. Since it does not seem irrational to refuse to hook oneself up to this machine, hedonism seems inadequate. The reason is that hedonism overlooks the value of real friendship, knowledge, freedom, and achievements, all of which are lacking for deluded people on the experience machine.

Some hedonists claim that this objection rests on a misinterpretation of hedonism. If hedonists see pleasure and pain as sensations, then a machine might be able to reproduce those sensations. However, we can also say that a mother is pleased that her daughter gets good grades. Such propositional pleasure occurs only when the state of affairs in which the person takes pleasure exists (that is, when the daughter actually gets good grades). But the relevant states of affairs would not really exist if one were hooked up to the experience machine. Hence, hedonists who value propositional pleasure rather than sensational pleasure can deny that more pleasure is achieved by hooking oneself up to such an experience machine (Feldman 1997, 79-105).

A related position rests on the claim that what is good is desire satisfaction or the fulfillment of preferences; and what is bad is the frustration of desires or preferences. What is desired or preferred is usually not a sensation but is, rather, a state of affairs, such as having a friend or accomplishing a goal. If a person desires or prefers to have true friends and true accomplishments and not to be deluded, then hooking this person up to the experience machine need not maximize desire satisfaction. Utilitarians who adopt this theory of value can then claim that an agent morally ought to do an act if and only if that act maximizes desire satisfaction or preference fulfillment, regardless of whether the act causes sensations of pleasure. This position is usually described as preference utilitarianism.

Many consequentialists deny that all values can be reduced to any single ground, such as pleasure or desire satisfaction, so they instead adopt a pluralistic theory of value. Moore's ideal utilitarianism, for example, takes into account the values of beauty and truth (or knowledge) in addition to pleasure (Moore 1903, 83-85, 194). Other consequentialists add the intrinsic values of friendship or love, freedom or ability, life, virtue, and so on.

Monday, December 26, 2005

不犹豫;
不后悔.




神秀说:“身是菩提树,心如明镜台,时时勤拂拭,勿使惹尘埃。”
慧能说:“菩提本无树,明镜亦非台,本来无一物,何处惹尘埃。”




少欲知足,厌离生死.
放下执着,得道成佛.

这,一位血气方刚的青年能做得到吗?
尚未踏足社会,体验人生百态, 难道就要脱俗弃世吗?


贪,嗔,痴;现代人之三毒. 我四周的环境,朋友,与及我本身,都难免中毒, 这社会已经毒入膏盲. 我要如何才能真正地脱俗,远离尘烦呢?

我有这坚决的意志吗?
我还那么恋世,还有那么多理想与青春,我要这么快就放下吗?
天知地知你知我不知

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Beneath the veneer of void lies the warring emotions that make my heart so painful that I want to take out my heart. A man without a heart is a robot, the most efficient being in the world. I yearn for efficiency, i want to be a robot. But it just does not happen.


ruthless efficiency,
ruthless efficiency,
from now on i shall be a little icy.
perpetually make myself numb,
to make that heartlessness come.
maybe i shall not tell,
for i wish not experience hell.
maybe i shall not hope,
for my meagre self cannot cope.
wake up, work, eat and sleep,
my life shall be simple as sheep.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

世界本旧邋遢
还有什么可怕
爽不爽一刹那
天堂地狱一家

这女人的身体
最真实的脚印
最温柔的战役
最爽快的游戏




我常常在自想我来自什么地方
我细细在思量我将去什么地方

忆往事罪孽深重怎不悲伤
望前程十字街头只有彷徨

啊伟大的佛陀啊
伟大的佛陀啊伟大的佛陀
我依靠在您的座旁
请告诉我一个光明平安的地方



红丽啊红丽, 你的命运,乃是我的宿命.


P.S. Asian Civilisation Museum outing is cool!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Live with the reality, and see the ideals.

Monday, December 05, 2005

theme song

ET asked me what's my theme song for my life..i didnt know the answer at that time.
after all, there are so many great every-lasting songs. but i know now which is my
theme song.

不值得 - 夢飛船

*除了想你 除了愛你
我什麼什麼都願意
翻開日記 整理〔打開〕心情
我真的真的想放棄
你始終沒有愛過 你在敷衍我
一次一次忽略我的感受
我真的感到力不從心 無力繼續
#這感情 不值得我猶豫
不值得我考慮 不值得我愛過你
這種回憶 不值得我提起
不值得想起 不值得哭泣

+這段感情 早就應該放棄
早就不該讓我浪費時間找奇蹟
這樣的你 不值得我恨你
不值得我為你而壞了心情
我決定不為你而毀了心
放棄愛你

重唱 *,,

我決定不為你而毀了心
為你而放棄愛情 不為你而毀了心
我決定不為你而毀了心
放棄愛你



exact sentiments. except for a few parts.

No matter how brave, how courageous, how daring, how strong , how fearless,
how carefree, how insensitive, how ill-tempered i can be most of the time;
I am still an infant when it comes to emotions.

The best option, and the only option, and the by-default option, is to let go.
but i simply cant...no matter how logical rational mature (ahem...) i can be,
there is still a part of me that is unwilling to let go.



the feeling is just like...when your country is sinking into the sea, and when
everyone is fleeing, you are still obdurate. you are reluctant to leave, despite
that it would be the most sensible thing to do. and you choose to stay in your
kampong, and sink with your chicken, pigs, dogs.
You simply love your country too much





sometimes i am skeptical to the notion of love. esp. young and puppy love. many
self-acclaimed mature pple snub it as immature, irrational...

but

why cant we be young and immature just for our adolescent yrs? why cant we just
follow our hearts and make mistakes and learn fron them? why must we follow the
footsteps and advices of elders or the matures? why must we be guided all the time.
i want to experience life myself, my own way. even if i make mistake, even if i
wld be illogical and immature, why must i be deprived of such life experiences?
why muz i listen to what all my frens say abt not getting into a relationship?
why cant i make a wrong move? why muz i do the right thing all the time?
why muz i carve out and plan properly my future when i cant even experience the
present?

no i am not lovesick. i juz dun understand .


and i admit that i am an impatient and insensitive bastard. impulsive. inconsistent.
a better term would be: over-dynamic. an unpretentious term would be: asshole-ly


at this moment, i simply have no doubt that i am an INFP.
sometimes the world is so complicated that i wish not to grow up.
all the politics, all the limitations, all the desires, all the fears.
the price of humanity. the tax we need to pay to exist in this world.

can i be exempted from tax then?





p.s. SAT the ultimate money-cheater, the utter cheap-thrill, is over. i will not
need to touch this dirty thing anymore. it disgusts me that education is so so
commercialised. think of how college board directors brainstorm to earn more money