The End of 2011

This post is basically a retrospective look at my year, so if no one reads on, I'll understand completely. However, I do want to touch on the fact that I have new resolutions for this coming year and not entirely different from past years, I want to write them out so that I can hold myself accountable. However, the main difference this year is that I am only giving myself a couple of resolutions where I normally assign myself at least 10. Each year, I normally attempt to succeed at these resolutions and, unfortunately, having set myself up for failure, I don't always complete everything. I am never disappointed, but I am always looking for ways to better myself. This year, I have made a resolution to not have so many resolutions, thereby promoting an air of success that is within my grasp! See the irony? :)

Here is last year's list:

"~Lose 50 pounds
~Work out 4-5 times a week (Zumba baby! Oh yeah!)
~Try something new/something I haven't done in a really long time once a month (and then try to remember to blog about it. LOL)
~Once a month dinner with 2 important people
~Once a month to the temple
~Bear testimony at least 3 times
~Flowers on someone's grave twice a year (And only limit myself to that. I went way too much this year and it was always just as painful as the last time)
~Read the entire Old Testament
~Stop hanging out and going out so much with people who don't deserve my attention or time
~Be home at least 2 nights a week and follow my schedule better"

How did I do?

Well, I didn't lose any weight, in fact, I may have found a few pounds I saw lying around. They looked so sad and I thought that they might find a good home in my spare tire. :)

I didn't work out 4-5 times a week either because for the first third of the year, I was in so much pain from the wreck that I wasn't doing anything more than being a lump. It got to the point that I couldn't move my left arm, had no feeling in much of the left side of my neck and shoulder blade and tingling on the left side of my head. Trying to work out each week was impossible.

The New and Different each month (then blogging about it) took off like a shot and was, by far, one of the best resolutions that I have ever set for myself! I had such fun and really took this one seriously.

The once a month dinner with my parents went really well the first part of the year, but then I started working for my step mom and birth mom once a week. So, this one went to the wayside due to unforeseen circumstances. However, the alternative has been far better.

Once a month to the temple, sure! It went incredible. In fact, I decided to go on a Temple Run with my YSA ward and thereby knocked out two birds with one stone! It was an amazing trip. And each month I have been to the temple and enjoyed it so much. It has become a permanent fixture in my month. This one will definitely continue in the future.

I am normally so nervous to be in front of other people. Most don't believe me when I say that I don't much like to be the center of attention. The worst for me is when I have to bear my testimony or when I have to speak in church. Somewhere I heard once that if you ever want to be completely honest, you sing. I don't agree. I think that if you ever want to be completely honest, you talk about church related things and what you believe. You can't lie about it. You can't fake it. You have to be completely honest and 100% you. So, to bear my testimony 3 times this year was a very challenging task. However, I can say without any reluctance.... I DID IT! In fact, I did it more than just three times.

Limiting myself to only twice a year to Ty's grave went well. In fact, I appreciated those two times more than I had all the other times I'd gone last year. I went WAY too many times last year and I recognized that I felt so much better going to the temple to pay tribute to him instead. So, I went on Memorial Day and on his birthday. Then, I turned around on his birthday and immediately went to the temple. Much better.

I didn't get to read the entire Old Testament. We were reading scriptures together as a family in the mornings so that my younger sister could complete a Personal Progress goal and she had to read the Book of Mormon. So, we read out of that. Then, I've been really studying and re-reading the Conference talks. It's gone well.

I am doing so much better not hanging out with people who don't deserve my attention! This was a great goal. However, I didn't actually complete it until mid October when I left my old Single's Ward and went to a new branch. It's been an incredible change and I LOVE it!!

I wasn't home 2 nights a week each week like I wanted. This one is something that I'm ashamed of myself for. I wish so much that I could be home more often. I just have a hard time telling people that I can't go out when I really want to go with them, you know? However, I have a sneaking hunch this one is going to be better this year.

All in all, as far as evaluating goes.... I got 5 out of 5. Better than last year!! Haha

This upcoming year, I'm going to give myself some new resolutions, but I'm also going to carry some over.

New:
~Blog once a week (once a month about an important person, once a month Free Writing, and the other weeks will be a fun list of my favorite things)
~No more soda (I have to cut back. I drink soda too much and I'm addicted to it. Not just for the caffeine, but for the burn. I love the stuff. And I have to be done. I'm so tired of being so tired all the time and I think that part of the problem is my soda consumption.)
~Work out (I'm not going to explain this one because it's going to vary a little because of the ongoing problems with my shoulder and the nerve damage there)
~Take Nate and Em on an Aunt Heather Date each month (Maren helped me realize that I really have the best of both worlds by being the Auntie. I never have to deal with the puke and the whining, but I get to spend as little or as much time with them as I want. Best job in the world!!)
~New J (Not going to explain this one either because I don't know who's going to read this and it's a secret for right now)
~New B (See above)

Carry Overs:
~Bear Testimony 3 times (This was a very good resolution for me and I think I need it again this year)
~Flower for Ty only 2 times (Also a good one for me. It keeps things in check for me)
~Temple Once a Month (Umm... see above)

So, here we are again. I sure hope I can accomplish most of them. The are all good for me in different ways and I hope that I will be successful. Guess we'll see.

Things That Keep Me Preoccupied...

I'm not blogging as often as I would like to these days. However, I really do have a good excuse. Also, I'm going to admit it straight out that I will most likely NOT have a new and different activity to share this month. I'd rather not lie to myself anymore. Do you realize that it's almost the middle of December already? Every time I start to contemplate on what I should do for my N&D for this month, my mind quickly fills with all of the other things I am quickly running out of time to do. For example, Christmas presents.

This month, in my frantic attempt at making the majority of Christmas gifts, I am exceptionally preoccupied with crafting. And while some of the gifts are turning out beautifully, I must admit that some are more of a pain than they are worth. Oh, and here's an aside for you, if I NEVER use Mod Podge again for the REST of my life, it will be lifetimes too soon! Grr!

So, in honor of not having a blog post for my N&D (and as a good argument for why I don't have time this month for attempting a N&D), here is a list of things keeping me preoccupied this month:

~Painting Christmas Houses
~Cutting Simon Dewey pictures and Mod Podging them onto 4x4 wood blocks to create a puzzle looking thing
~Hand crafting (and sewing) a church tote bag
~Christmas gift shopping
~Serving Jury Duty
~Attending Maren and Nater's Christmas Choir Concert
~Participating in a Service Auction for church (and then using the accumulated money to purchase and distribute Christmas gifts to needy children and families in the community)
~Jarrica's Birthday
~Dinner at the Branch President's House
~Several nights spent at Buffalo Wild Wings with friends
~Branch Temple Night
~Family Home Evenings
~Robyn's viewing
~Bryan's Funeral
~Going to lunch and catching up with an old roommate from college who I haven't seen since 2007! (yay Bri!!)
~Toddy's Man vs. Wild Party
~Giving a talk in church. Topic: Wise Men Seek Him Still (Oh help! I'm apologizing to everyone I know beforehand. That way I'm covered!)
~Working for Des
~Working for Mom
~Working regular job
~Des' birthday
~Nater's Birthday
~My birthday :)
~Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the 3 houses I have to be present at (no pun intended! Haha)
~Emmie's Birthday
~Tran Siberian Orchestra Concert with Sister and Mr. Dustin
~Trip to Utah for the aforementioned concert and spending time with David, Veancha and the kiddos
~New Year's Eve party
~Psych nights at Brad's
~Smoothie Sunday at Jess'

~And many other activities which have yet to be entered onto the schedule.

The month of December is always a marathon, not a sprint for me. The only thing I can do is keep myself hydrated, try to get sleep and stave off any illnesses that try to creep up because I'm running too much. It's the craziest month of the year and I try so hard to make sure I'm remembering the reason for the Season.

Also, here are pictures of one other thing that has kept me preoccupied, although it's been ongoing for months, but I've just finished it...

The wall before

The wall during

The wall finished

Full wall mural of Mt. Moran and Jackson Lake in Des' home office

So, my opening argument was also my closing. However, I think anyone could see that I shouldn't be held in contempt for not having a N&D for this month. I've barely got time to breathe and am scheduling time to eat and sleep.

Yikes.

I've spent far too long on this post...

"I think there's less air up here!"

For November's New & Different, I decided to challenge myself a little more than I had been in the past few months. I have been taking it sort of easy and I thought to really test my limits this month would be a good idea.

My best friend, Maren, turned 28 yesterday and on her birthday, we were able to get out of the house, go to lunch and go shopping. Oh... and put our 13 year friendship to the test... We decided to go Rock Climbing.

It was decided that we should go together because then she would belay for me and I would for her. Belaying is where you are attached to and holding the rope for the other person to climb up the rock wall. This rope is their lifeline. And while they had automatic stop pulleys set up in the YMCA gym, I also felt incredible pressure not to let her down... or to let her die!

It only costs about $10 to go in and use all the YMCA equipment for as long as you wanted, which I felt was a good deal. I thought this because to my inexperienced mind, I was sure that Maren and I would climb for several hours before we would be ready to be done.

Wow... I was so wrong.

I realized within seconds of pulling myself up onto the wall the very first time that I do not have very good upper body strength. My arms, hands, shoulders and back were screaming and burning in pain right away. But, I was determined to make it to the top. The top, though it doesn't sound very high, was about 25-30 ft in the air.

I could only make it about 8-9 ft up the first time because I hadn't gotten what I'd bargained for. So, I let Maren take a turn on the wall.

She got most of the way up and had to come back down. My sweet friend is slightly vertically challenged in her 5'0 tall state and she couldn't get to the foothold of the very last stretch.

So, she came back down and I gave it another go.

With Maren's help, I refused to give up in the last little stretch and I made it to the top! It was both terrifying and totally exhilarating! I was shaking like a leaf and hyperventilating though. Haha

When I made it back to the bottom, Maren decided that she wanted another go and I helped her navigate when she got up to the tough spot at the top.

She made it!!! Whoo hoo!

When she came back down, we tried to decide what to do because we both had only made it to the top once, but we were both tired and our arms hurt! So, we decided to make one more go of it and that was it. We felt like such lightweights.

So, after both making it to the top twice and as badly as we both hurt 24 hours later... I have made a decision... I'm NEVER doing that again! It was good for me to try once and it was definitely something new and different for this month, but I KNOW now that I'm NOT a rock climber. I am not afraid of heights, but I also don't like to be strapped in with a rope and hauling my big ol body up a stupid wall by some nubby rock looking things.

November's New & Different: FAIL!

Oh, but a side note: Neither Maren, nor I died during this activity and our trust wasn't shaken... or stirred. We are good! ;^)

And side note #2: Happy Birthday Lovie! I'm glad we got to get out and do some fun... and maybe some not so fun things, for your birthday! I love you!!!

Thanksgiving

It has been such a long time since I posted anything, I thought I ought to touch on the major things happening in life that, unfortunately, keep me preoccupied and thus unable to blog more.

This past week was Thanksgiving and many of my friends were blogging about things they are grateful for. I am not going to do this.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for things in my life and for the blessings/trials I receive, but I am not going to dwell on anything in particular. Let's just suffice it to say that I am grateful for all the aspects of my life right now because there isn't one piece of my life that isn't directly in conjunction with another piece. Therefore, I must be grateful for all of it in order to be grateful for each individual thing. All the cogs work together to form what is my life and therefore, to try to break things down... well would be a little tedious and not to mention, in some instances, silly. For example my profound gratitude for toilet paper... you don't want to read about it, but I assure you, I am just as grateful for it as I am for the gospel in my life!

So, instead, I will just post some photos of my Thanksgiving and you make take from it what you will.

The Night Before: Making my famous 4-layer Chocolate Cream Pie

Pablo, Laura, Momma and Me prepping dinner

Laura & Mom, this is how THEY prep dinner. Hmm.

Cousins: Jessica, Pablo & Laura prepping for dinner

Sister Luvs: Laura, Me and Melissa

Eating dinner: Mom & Melissa

Eating dinner: Mom & Dustin

Eating dinner: Dustin & Laura

"Shake It Out!": Melissa & Dustin dance to make you burp so you can eat more! LOL

Pictionary Man: Momma, Dustin, Melissa, the Lauras and Mom playing games after dinner

Pictionary Man: Dustin & Melissa (they won!)

Pictionary Man: Laura & Jessica

Family Portraits: Laura, Mom, Dustin, Melissa, Jessica, Momma

Dad's House: Des & Kody

Siblings: Kody & Laura

The Cow Kiss: "NOOOOOO!!!!!!"

The man is sure persistent

Me laughing too hard at Dad to make him stop. He has a tongue like Gene Simmons, I swear!!

It was a good time. We laughed really hard, we ate lots of food and we played lots of games. Overall, great day.

As mentioned before, I am grateful for many things in my life, the good, the bad and the cow kisses. Oh... and the toilet paper!

Aunt Heller & Leller Date

This past Saturday, my sister Laura and I had the opportunity to take Nate and Em out on an Aunt Heather Date. When Laura is able to come, these dates are referred to as "Aunt Heller and Leller" dates. Em came up with this when she was too little to say Laura. So funny.

Anywho, we went out to the Straw Maze up in Archer and had such a great time. It was a cheap way to exhaust the kids and they had SO much fun. Nate had a great time telling all of us that he was Captain Nate and that Em was his First Mate. He loved getting to do all the problem solving in finding a way out and Em loved that we let her pick which direction to go all the time.  We went in circles more often than anything else, but they loved it. Especially the tunnels.

And these kids are so stinkin smart that we found the ending only 40 minutes into it and wanted to make sure to get our money's worth, so we went back to the beginning from the end. And when that wasn't enough, we went ahead and took a 3rd time through in order to come out at the end like we were supposed to. All 4 of us were so tired afterward, but headed out to Rigby to stop at Arctic Circle for ice cream.

I love my sweet kiddos. Being the favorite Aunt really is the best job in the whole world. I wish so bad that it was my full time job instead of the other. There is never a dull moment with these two!

Nate and Leller

Em & Aunt Heller

Camping With Dad

This post is a little overdue, sorry about that. Life just keeps moving and I can't seem to find the pause button.

I always used to say that I hated camping because I am so terrified of bears and most bugs and I always seem to get horribly sick (like the kind of sick where you can't even contain the vomit) when I go. But, in the spirit of doing new and different things, I opted to go out into the woods and go camping. My dad was up hunting about 30 minutes west of Alpine, WY and I decided to go up for the weekend.

It took us almost 2 hours from home to get into camp on this winding mountain road and I was a little nervous. But, luckily, when we got there, Dad had all the lights on in the trailer, it was warm and I had a bed calling my name.

The next day, we got up and Dad and Des didn't go hunting, so we decided to take the 4 wheelers up to the top of the mountain so I could get a really good view of the forest. Plus, Toots (my Dad's dog) had never been on the 4 wheeler before and we wanted to see how she'd do.

Here are some pictures: Oh... and I don't normally wear camo... but I threw on one of Des' shirts because we were afraid I'd get cold.



These logs were huge and resting over this little stream, so I got out and climbed on it.



Me and my Tootsers

Des on her 4 wheeler

Dad behind us on his dirt bike

Me and Toots

At the top of the mountain looking to the west

Looking to the east. If you pull this pic up big and look really close, you can see our camp (it's the little white dot, LOL)

This really cool tree at the top of the mountain. It had been struck by lightening.

My Tooters

After this, I got too much into the swing of things and didn't take my camera everywhere. But, we had a great time playing with Toots in the streams, 4 wheeling, dirt biking (I LOVED riding the dirt bike), playing Pinochle, teaching my dad and Des Canasta, and riding the Electric Bicycle (yes, I said ELECTRIC bike. It was awesome!)

There were these huge bugs, called Bark Beetles, that were enormous and had these gigantic gross horns on them. They weren't the best flyers, but you would find them crawling on you or landing on you at any given time and you couldn't help but scream. Yuck. After those, the other bugs and the spiders weren't that bad.

And I didn't get sick or get eaten by bears! Whoo hoo!

I realized that camping really is great fun and I absolutely loved it. I was grateful to have a trailer to do it in though. I wouldn't want to go out into the middle of the woods without something that had hard sides to it. No tents. And while I'm not into hunting myself, I fully intend to go out and camp while Dad and Des hunt again next year. LOVED this!!

And P.S. Today is Dad's b'day! Happy 54th Birthday, Dad! Love you!

Happy Birthday Ty

Today he would have been 28. 

I went and put flowers on his grave and spent a few minutes. 

I didn't want to leave. I just wanted to relish those moments of being close to him.

However, I know in my heart that Tyson is in a far better place doing far better things. And though that spot on the outskirts of town is where I watched him laid to rest and that is where I know his body to be resting for right now, I also know that in order to feel close to him on is birthday, I need to go somewhere else.... 

So tonight, I'm headed to the temple. 

I go because I can think of no where else I can get any closer to where he is. And I'm going to do service, which is what Christ would do, and have ME do, in this situation.

Happy Birthday Ty. I both love you and miss you, today and every day. Until we meet again...

Nathan "Beaver"

My sweet nephew is pure awesomeness. I'm not exaggerating. He never fails to bring a smile to my face.

Recently, I introduced him to Justin Bieber, whom we affectionately call "The Beaver" or just "The Beav". I can only stomach his "Baby" song, so that is the one Nate and Em got to hear. Well, it's quite the catchy tune and much to their father's dismay, his children now have Bieber Fever.

Here's just a clip that was sent to me today because I needed a smile (Yes, I'm aware that it's sideways. Watch it anyway!):

Yes folks, he's rapping there in the middle. Like Ludacris. No joke. And those pants he's wearing... they are pirate pants from a Halloween costume. He's First Mate Nathan Beaver!

Like I said, the kid is pure awesomeness.

Lest We Forget...

"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty." - President John F. Kennedy

My friend posted this on her wall on Facebook today:

"On May 25th, 2001, Michael Bay's 'Pearl Harbor' hit theater's. I was talking with my grandma about wanting to go see it and she said, 'I don't want to see a movie about it, I lived through it.'....40 some years from now, when one of my grand children expresses a want to see the new 9/11 movie.. I'll tell them the same thing. 'I don't want to see a movie about it, I lived through it.' "

Ten years ago today... the lives of everyone living on this earth and the lives of those yet to be born changed forever. It may not be a change that is apparent in everyday life (though, for some, it is), but lives HAVE changed. And I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing the day the world stood still...

I was living at my dad's house and had been getting ready for school. I was a senior at Skyline High School in Idaho Falls. My dad got up and turned on the TV while I continued the long process of primping in the bathroom. Suddenly, he yelled, "Wow, some idiot pilot ran into the World Trade Center! Heather, you need to come in and see this!" Moments later...as I was walking down the hallway into the living room, the 2nd plane hit. All I could see was my dad's face as it drained of color and he said, more to himself than to me, "This wasn't an accident. This is an attack."

I drove to school that day, listening to the AM radio, something that I NEVER do, so that I could hear as much information as I could about how and why it had happened. My first period class was LDS Seminary and I went straight there, no pit stops.

Everyone was talking about it while Sister Beck was trying to get class started. We were hearing as people trickled into the classroom that we were the only class trying to teach a lesson. The rest of the building was watching the footage. But, Sister Beck continued on. Eventually, little by little, students began to pick up their things and leave her classroom. I was one of them.

I went into the next classroom over and asked another teacher what had been happening. He told me that they were thinking the buildings were going to collapse because they weren't stable. He was crying. I remember thinking how scared I was because A TEACHER was showing fear. He told me, "Heather, you need to take in as much of this as you can because from this day forward, life as we know it will never be the same. Your children and your grandchildren will ask you about it someday and you need to remember, always." At that moment, I knew... he was totally right.

I was numb for most of the rest of the day, sometimes crying, sometimes worrying, but most times, just praying fervently for all the people who's lives had been lost, for the families who were in mourning, and for the leaders of our country and of NYC. Classes were held only as unstructured spaces of time spent watching televisions and trying to glean any information we could.

At lunch, we were told that they were going to hold a few minutes silence and that they were going to play a song over the intercom. They asked people to not be disrespectful (like we could be in the midst of our numb horror) and that if we would like to have prayer circles, there were going to be several in different locations. The song they played was "Prayer of the Children":

The sobbing wracked everyone's bodies. Students, teachers, it didn't matter. We all cried together.

The rest of the day was a blur. I remember coming home that night and immediately writing in my journal the basic description of what had happened and that we thought it might have been Osama bin Laden but we weren't sure. I just made sure to record my feelings. The thought of what my teacher had told me earlier that morning rang through my head and I knew that I needed to do everything I could to make sure I remembered.

In the days following, I made sure to buy and keep the newspapers for a week straight, documenting everything (I still have them, tucked away in the bottom of my cedar chest) and my family went to candlelight vigils held. I wept, I prayed, and I held out hope that somehow, America would find a way to make things right again.

About a year later, I went to Ground Zero and witnessed first hand what was left. It's a hallowed place. You don't even feel like you can talk above a whisper. The scars left on the earth were amazing to see. It is unfathomable what happened on that day in that place.

So today, just as I do every year, I think back and I cry. I want to watch footage and yet, I can't bring myself to do it. They only show everything they showed all those years ago and it still hurts. Every American who was old enough to understand what was happening I'm sure feels the same... it hurts as though the wound was made fresh. The footage is gruesome and for those who watched it firsthand, it inflicts the same horror.

But, I also am reminded of why we fight the wars we do and what makes every American... an American. We are proud, we are tough and we fight for what's right. If you come into our country and hurt us, we will not stop hunting you until justice is served. And while I do not rejoice in the fact that we finally got Osama bin Laden on May 2, 2011 and that another person had to die, I do feel pride in the fact that we didn't start the fight, but we certainly finished it.

And today, more than any other day, even than on the 4th of July, I am proud to say that I AM an American and I WILL NOT FORGET.

I've Crossed Over

Well... I can finally admit it... I've gotten old. I've officially crossed over from being a "young'en".

I had the opportunity to attend a concert for a rock band called Hinder this week at our local state fair with my little sister, Laura, and my friends. I normally find myself listening to more country these days, but I do listen to some Top 40 and Rock on occasion still. I have a Hinder CD and though it's an old one, I quite enjoy it. I thought that maybe I would also enjoy the concert.

However, a couple of days before the concert, I found myself perusing Youtube to find some more current songs from this band and found that the majority of the songs I listened to, I didn't care for. They were too brash, too disgusting, too explicit. But, seeing as tickets had been purchased already and I wasn't about to let my baby sister (who's 18, by the way) go to this crazy concert without me because I had to protect her, I decided to go.

Laura and I right before the concert started

Matt and Amy Anderson, friends of Laura and I

Spencer and Preston Anderson... What can I say? I love them. Heart and soul. Love the crap out of them!

The trip down from Idaho Falls was fun and hanging out before the concert started was fun. But, I have to say, as soon as that first hit of bass reverberated through my body (I honestly think I felt heart palpitations, no kidding) I actually felt the Spirit leave. It was an incredibly icky feeling.

The songs were mostly about drinking, drugs, cheating on your significant other and sex. The band had started drinking at about 9am that morning and were already totally sloshed. The crowd stank of alcohol and tobacco. Oh, and I'm pretty sure the couple standing right next to Spencer and I are going to be expecting a baby in 9 months. She kept elbowing and rubbing up against us in her drunken stupor. Um... ew.

But, the ride home was fun. Amy and I texted throughout the concert to try to keep our minds where they should be and because we couldn't talk. It was so loud that my ears were still ringing the next day.

So, from this little foray into the life of the younger version of myself... I've found that I don't miss it and am glad that I've matured past this phase. I just hope my little sister, who totally LOVED the concert, can make it to the other side unscathed and in a better, wiser place too. Yikes.

Here are a few pictures of Hinder:

This one makes me laugh because his mouth was so big, you could have housed the entire Russian circus in there!

So, while I appreciate Amy getting us all together and taking us to the concert, I don't think this one will be a repeat for me.