Excited

Wow! It's been a while since I felt so excited to go to ###.

I miss waking up feeling all raring to go.

I miss the joy.

I miss the fun.

I miss the yearning to learn.

I miss the looking forward to fellowship.

I miss just being with God's family.

I miss singing whole heartedly to our great majestic God.

I miss the deep sharp piercing of the Sword of the Spirit.

Last day

Memories, sadness,
dissapointed, the end.

A new beginning, excited,
scared, ............

4 appointments

Hi! Today I had 4 appointments. Never had so many for a long time in one day. But i enjoyed them. Meeting people are fun! Getting to know them and their lives.

[Jay Chou's track 2 about listening to mum's words is cool]

Hey after all God built us to have relationships. And I think recently I'm allowing myself again to be myself that is to be daring in relationships. To enjoy them. But I know I've been hurt and dissapointed before. I guess the key is not to expect much in return. But I do pray that God will provide some who will give as well otherwise I'll dry up like a prune and then overreact against this and then go into protection mode again...that is be by myself and then suffer from loneliness which then have to be remedied by c games.

O LORD help me. Gd nite!

Dawn

Lately, I'm not sure when it started, I have been getting up early, like around 6+am. When telling this to others I thought to myself that the reason behind this is that perhaps I'm getting old. You know how old people tend to get up early. But when I told someone about this, she said it was probably that something is bothering me, that my mind was thinking about something, that I was disturbed by something. So when I pondered upon this comment to see of its validity, I was not sure or was thinking that it was more likely untrue than true. However, for the last few days, whenever I got up, I wondered to myself, 'is something bothering me?' 'am i thinking of something?'. Hmm....the answer to that question is....i think so....it seems that my mind is thinking of something. So perhaps there is some truth to that person's comment. Or perhaps it's both. Oh well.......

Nevertheless, this current phenomena presents to me dawn. Yes it's the other favourite time of my day after evening. As I look out now with mind still tired, at the window, I see the beautiful dawnly lit sky, well actually it's brighter now. And dawn reminds me of my younger days when I used to get up at about 5+am when it's still dark to jog with my cousins and their friend. It was beautiful, cycling that early in the morning to our jogging area which was a big padang near the A Farmosa. Smelling the fresh air and having conversations with my friends was a bliss. Upon arriving at our destination, we would warm up and then jog. And after our jog we would eat roti chanai and drink teh tarik.

Ah dawn, what a lovely time of the day. Cooling, breathing in fresh air mixed with the warm company of close friends, what a way to start a day!

Thank you LORD for dawn.

strange

Have u ever felt it?
People whom you used to like...then you are not sure whether they like you
so after a while you move on....but then later......it seems that they now like you
but then now, you like someone else?

I know......it seems to me that life is cruel....but ppl would say...i guess that person is not meant to be. Sometimes it feels like a one of those hollywood soap operas or korean dramas coming to real life.

Then when you now like back the person whom you used to like but then move on but then now likes you but you like someone else ...but now you after a while...now let that person go...and so you now like the original person....that person then moves on.

I know. Sounds confusing. But it happens! Life is strange.

I could almost see king solomon writing this observation down if he was here living in this century in his wisdom books. :)

He could say something like this:
I saw that a person who stays at home, is able to find a good wife
and for another person who knows a lot of people, is still single.

Such is the meaninglessness of life. (haha) good nite!

This thing called.....

Strange thing this thing called 'love'?
it makes you think of a person incessantly
so that every waking moment or should i say
every mental break moment
it makes you think about the other person
wondering how she is
if only she thinks of me as well
if only she sms me

It's gripping
it's beautiful
but only if the other person feels likewise
otherwise its unrequited and makes it meaningless
left to the throes of living in a fantasy

So the question is does she know
do i know or am i living in a chimera

Then there is the case of not even knowing her that well
but feeling like that
rather silly some would say
aye i say

so got to know the person better
otherwise its infatuation, puppy love
unfounded love etc etc

have found myself down this path before
so why walk down if only it leads to a cul-de-sac

so i try guarding my heart
hold back the gates of love from bursting forth
and so to God I go and pray

but this feeling....is powerfully amazing
one of God's gift
experienced in marriage is simpy heavenly :)

2 great encounters

Hi! I had 2 great gospel conversations today.

(my friend jay chou is singing in the background as i write this...in fact i heard him over the radio at the soya bean shop near prinsep st....and i smiled when i heard him...anyway...)

1st - with a charismatic pastor, we spoke about 1 hour on the issue of speaking in tongues as a sign of a believer.

2nd - with a guy from catholic background at cafe domus on church architecture and how church should be like.

Both were great conversations, me, having to search the Scriptures and dialogue with these guys with the Sword of the Spirit. It felt really good wielding the sword and sparing with the pastor....got my sword skills working again :)

I pray that the Word of God may dwell richly in them.

Good nite!

ps: it seems like when I'm not on formal pastoral duties....more ministry opportunies seem to surface and excite me....hmm....maybe I should be a freelance pastor...if such a thing exist.....:)

Great Saturday Morning

Boy! What a great morning! Though it did start with a bit of negativity - the computer did not emit any sound, but it's now ok. :)

It was great because my friend was inspired and I had breakfast and great conversations with people from church who stayed nearby! Yes! That communal feeling is what I really enjoy! O Lord pls bring me to serve you in a communal place where the church is in the heart of a place where people all stay near each other....would be so cool! We keep seeing each other, spurring each other, praying for each other, reach out to the community there together....and have the gotong royong spirit in Christ. That would be a blast!

:)

Jay Chou is back!

Yup jc is back....no not our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ but my taiwanese friend. Hope he believes in Christ and be saved so that he can create groovy songs for the LORD! So let's pray for his salvation! :)

Anyway, I'm surprised that in my relatively short space of time in following JC, he has come out with 3 albums.....and all 3 I've been impressed with so far! And his latest offering, 'Still Fantasy' (a carry on from one of his earlier albums, no.4 i think [this album is no.7]) I must admit when I first saw it and heard it, I was a bit skeptical whether it would be good. Prehaps how other people have failed in producing good follow up on previous good albums was causing me to have a preconceived negativity towards it, hence a biasness.

But boy i was glad that i was proven wrong. Having traces of his previous album and Initial D style of music.....it seems to me that this new album is a mutation, a good one of some sorts of that and also hving somekind of a new sound which is resultant from using some chinese instruments. And of couse, there is still his trademark style of using violins and piano in his pieces and also his efferversent rap which is cool!

Still I have no idea what he is singing since I hardly understand mandarin, but nevertheless his music is one of a kind! I liken him to be the modern mozart of the chinese music world. And since my all time favorite classial music composer is mozart, that explains why I so like Jay Chou.

ps: JC...stop living in Fantasy but believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. And start writing really cool christian grooves on how the Lord saves, how he is coming back, how he gives us new life etc etc...lots of material from the Bible to compose and make music!

A turnaround

How could someone once was adored
now could be resented
How could it happened
How could it happened

True feelings can't be told
Wisen up now know
But he doesn't know
But how to tell

Lord you know the turnaround
You know why
Just don't do the same
Lessons we learn from others

Hopefully we won't do the same
If only the world would be a better place
But man are sinful
And we are either too coward to stand up to correct or just too naive to know better

But a turnaround has happened
And it saddens my heart
So to the Lord I look
He alone knows and can make the change

feelings aroused

i am remembered by a verse in song of songs...about how we should not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

So i pray.

experiencing christian fellowship

Dear blog,

Wow it has been a while since i wrote.

Today i experienced christian fellowship by hving someone inviting me over to have a meal! Wow it was amazing. I hv not experince this for a while. In fact, I hv lamented for sometime now by wondering how come singaporean folks don't invite malaysian folks to their homes. Reminds me of when I was in australia, when u know...when a kind soul invites us foreign students to their homes.....it was simply amazing.....home cool meals and feeling really nice being in a home.

Yes, nothing beats a home experience when one is exiled from one's home. As christians, now i understand a bit more how we should be feeling as we wait for being home with the Lord.

I wish both my housemates were invited too by local people to experience home. And if i was in malaysia, i would be inviting foreign people in my church regularly to give them the home experience.

Sigh.

ron