My apartment!

Here are a few pics of the new place! I love it! It is so nice to have a place to call home.

Real Salt Lake

It's shaping up to be one busy, fun week! I worked at school setting up my classroom, then had ward FHE with the Welby ward (Fear factor FHE), then went bowling with a group of friends. Today I had training till three, then went to Lakeshore to buy stuff for my classroom. Now I am at my first Real Salt Lake game! Woohoo! I need to calm it down or I'm going to wear myself out.

A quarter of a century!

Happy Birthday! To me! And Nichole! It was a wonderful day, it was a pretty normal day. I got home super late either really late Friday night or really early Saturday morning- whichever way you choose to look at it. My furniture was delivered on Saturday! What an awesome birthday present. In fact I am sitting on my awesome couch now. I think I owe you guys some pictures of my apartment. It is coming together! It really feels like home. Alexay and I were driving home from church and I felt so excited to be going HOME. It feels good to have a place, a space that is your "own." The rest of my day I spent basically working on the apartment, returning bins that I used to move with, and stopping by at some of my favorite people's houses! It was good. I like 25. It feels good.

I love my ward. Transitioning to a new place and new ward is always hard. I try very hard to be outgoing and friendly, but it takes time and a lot of effort to not feel like an outsider anymore. I am making really good headway on that front. I debated whether or not to go to Ward Prayer tonight, and then went thinking that I would just go and come home quickly. Just put my time in, you know. Well I went and it was so much fun! I made a really great friend who invited me to spend time with a group of friends that get together often! It was so nice. I wanted to write down this good day so I can remember it. This is the second Sunday in a row where I feel like I am where I need to be. Such a good feeling.

Last hurrah of summer

Here are a bunch of pictures from my trip to San Antonio. That's right I took a trip to visit my twin sister Nichole, her husband Jeff and their very special little girl who is one year old now! I took this trip the week before school starts!! A little crazy, I know. I can tell that school is starting soon because the nightmares have begun. Anyhow, more on that later! I had such a wonderful trip! Nichole told me that all she wanted for her birthday was to be able to spoil me and give me a really great trip. What a sweetheart! I just wanted to see my sister-friend and her little girl! That little girl is growing up so fast! I can't believe it! She is walking, however timidly, but I count it! She is such an angel! She babbles and babbles and loves to smile and laugh. She sure loves her Momma and Poppa, and is so so so much fun!

I did a better job of taking pictures! But didn't document seeing Jordan, one of my roommates when I lived in Provo. I also failed to document my Sea World experience!! So fun!

On Tuesday, I got in around 12:30 and just enjoyed being around Nichole and Abigail. That night Jordan came over and we ate huge pieces of ice cream cake (my favorite) and caught up with each other! Wednesday, we got our hair cut and I helped make Abigail smile during their family photo shoot (and snuck in on a couple too). We took the photos at the Chinese/Japanese Tea Gardens, which is a really pretty place. It was SO hot, but they got some really great pictures! Thursday we spent all day at Sea World! We went in the morning with Abigail, and in the evening it was just the adults! Super fun! We saw a show and played in the water, and went on a ride in the morning. In the evening we spent the whole time in Aquatica, the water park going down slides and floating in the lazy river! Today, our last activity on the list of to-do's was to get pedicures and manicures! Needless to say, it was such a fun relaxing wonderful trip. I wish it could have been longer.

First Sunday in River Oaks YSA ward

This is now my third time being a young single adult, so it was with some hesitation and trepidation that I went to the YSA ward today. It was really great! I feel like this ward has every kind of people in it and is very accepting and welcoming. I forgot how much they feed you in a singles ward! Today after church, which started at 1 with RS first, then Sunday School, then Sacrament Meeting, we had a munch and mingle with a potato bar. Super yummy. Then we had ward prayer with yummy popcorn balls. Mmm. Tomorrow is a stake activity with water games and a catered dinner! I am not just in it for the food, although that is an added perk and gives you something to do when you are new and don't really know anyone. I also loved the depth, insight and experience that I noticed in the lessons, comments, and sacrament meeting talks. I am excited to be part of something bigger than myself again! I am really glad to have Alexay to go through this with too. She is so awesome! At the welcome meeting, the Bishop bragged that this ward has so many activities. Apparently last week they had at least six activities, which is a little crazy.

Anyhow, the church is true no matter where you are or what kind of ward you are in. I really feel good about where I am.

Second SPED cohort reunion

This week I met with three more super awesome women that I went to school with! We met at Kneaders again, this time in Draper! Thanks Heather for driving all the way up here! I appreciated that so much. I found out that Haylie lives in my apartment complex which is so awesome! I feel so blessed how Heavenly Father puts people in my life. Breanne is moving to Chi-town, lucky girl! I will miss her so much. Heather, who has the sweetest little boy ever, just graduated! WooHooo! I just feel so much energy from being with people that I really connect with, and who are so nice to listen to me talk too.

Pictures I stole from Nichole's blog

Here are some pictures of when Nichole came to visit in June. We will be reunited again in less than a week!

A hard day and a happy heart.

Today was a hard day. Mostly because I lay in bed for hours praying that sleep would come and then woke up at 7:00 to my iPhone barking at me to get ready for training. So, needless to say, I was so tired today. Being tired and sitting in a training all day is probably the fourth most miserable thing I have ever experienced. Plus, I moved in last night but didn't make it to the grocery store, so my fridge and my tummy were very empty all day today. Add to that big life changes and you have a very sad Natalie. However, long talks with THE twin sister, random texts from friends who listen to the spirit, a long nap, a trip to the grocery store, a visit from a new neighbor with cookies, and food in my belly all culminate in my heart being very happy as I turn in for the night (although my eyes still hurt from lack of sleep and too much crying). I just wanted to record this so that I can remember the Lord's hand in my life even when my mind turns into a sieve (did I spell that right?).

The next chapter!

Here I am in my new apartment on my new bed (without pillows or sheets or blankets that fit) listening to the crickets and thinking (I really should be sleeping but there is just SO much going on in my heart and mind).

I loved loving in Alpine with my Aunt Linda. I felt so loved there. It was a perfect place for me to be in so many ways. I know I can always go
visit, it's just that there is amidst my excitement of having my own place again and not making the drive from Alpine to South Jordan or West Jordan everyday (really excited about that- gas is expensive) I feel some sadness. I hope that she knows how much I appreciate everything she has done for me. She got me a magnet to put on my fridge because she said that when she saw it it reminded her of me. Included at the end of this post (cus blogging is just harder on an iPad and I can't quite figure out how to put pictures in the middle of posts yet, be patient with me, I will get there eventually have you noticed that I add pictures now? I do get better with time!-what a long side note). Anyway the point of that whole things is how sweet my aunt is. I hope that I can give to others what she has given to me. I am of the firm opinion that you can never really "pay back" someone for their kindness and generosity, you can only pay it forward. A line from a hymn just popped into my head. "Because I have been given much, I too must give." Sometimes I wish I had a greater capacity to give, and I just have to remind myself to not run faster than I have strength, to trust in Heavenly Father's timing.

I do feel good about where I am living. I will put up pictures when things are more settled. (My friend Aubrey is going to come help me decorate this Friday, which I am really excited about. So maybe after then.) It is ten minutes from work, which is so nice, and eight minutes from where Alexay (my roommate) will be going to dental school.

Speaking of school, in the midst of packing and moving, I did go and begin setting up my classroom. I think I have said this a million times and I will say it again. I am so excited and so terrified. Walking down the hall to my new classroom with the custodian, I said the exact same thing and peppered her questions and she was so awesome and opened a bunch of classrooms for me to get an idea of how to set things up. The vice principal and principal came and talked with me to make sure I have the things I need and am comfortable with everything. Which is so nice! It is just such a crazy experience to be on the cusp of realizing my dream. To actually be a special education teacher. I will be in charge! What a scary thought. Haha! I feel like although I never would have imagined myself here where I am now, I know that heavenly father is moving me where he wants me to be. What a good feeling.

A good friend recommended that I listen to a collection of talks by S. Michael Wilcox including, "The fourth watch", "Walking on water", etc. I have been driving a ton lately and have listened to several hours a day. They are such amazing talks filled with insights about the scriptures and it really has helped keep me grounded. This is an exciting time with a lot of changes and somedays, some moments, some seconds I feel like I am a dam with the water pounding against me about ready to break.

I have been trying to change my name back to my maiden name but just learned that in order to do this I needed to state this in the divorce papers. So now there is more paperwork and hassle and makes me wonder if it Is even worth it. What's in a name anyway? It isn't that I hate being a Smith, I love it actually. It's a great name. I just am trying to move forward and just be me. Whoever that is, independent of anyone and dependent on god at the same time. Find my center, my balance, on my own. What a hard thing to do. Because I love to share. Life feels better and fuller when I am sharing it with someone. I am a twin! I have never been alone and have shared everything (including a not so spacious womb) and have been very grateful for that so often. There are good things for me to learn this way I suppose and it's all part of the plan. My plan of happiness, which looks much different from anyone else's plan.

Well, I have training all day tomorrow, Thursday, Friday, and Monday. Then I am off to Texas for my last hurrah of summer!

Sped cohort reunion

Today I met with these beautiful girls at Kneaders in Provo to catch up. We were all in the Special Education Cohort at BYU. Several of us are moving this summer, hence a smaller group. Also, those that couldn't meet this week will meet next week. These girls are seriously some of the best people I know. We talked for several hours today and I am so glad they are in my life!