Defending

10am in the morning in the dream, along some street in a town. The place was too quiet. Just down the road, my team mate and I noticed a Trex attacking a stationary car. In a desperate attempt to divert its attention., we started throwing all kinds of things we could find at it. Unfortunately, we did not bring our weapons to subdue it. All we could do was prevent others from being hurt while waiting for the others to arrive. It ran right for us. We ran for its legs, narrowly missing its jaws by running under the creature, for 2 bicycles parked outside a cycling shop. We dashed downhill to the side of a canal.

Abandoning our bicycles, we made jumped over the barrier, crossed the canal and climbed onto the other side where it was safer. However, 2 passer-bys who thought that we were in trouble, came to help. We called for them to join us on the other side, while both of them tried to divert its attention away from us. When they finally got our signal, it was too late. One of them managed to join us on the safe side, the other did not make it. I turned away, breaking down right away, smashing my right fist into a glass window.

When the rest of the team arrived, they managed to send it back. We drove down to a school nearby, as there were reports of another sighting. We spotted 3 young children, outside a kitchen. There was a old Taiwanese lady who worked there as a cook, and we had a nice conversation while waiting for the rest of the team to set up their equipment so that we could jump into action once the creature was near. However, it appeared the creature appeared first, and we were not going to be safe in the building. My team mate asked the 2 girls and 1 boy if there was another way out of the building. A girl pointed to the door, saying "That's the only door". The lady nodded. He looked around, and pointed at the window beside the stove. "We can use that as an exit. No need the door." Just as it looked in and started attacking the door, we've almost gotten everyone out. My team mate escorted them to safety, while I ran at it after jumping from the corner, scoring a hit at its head.

The Last Day

Yesterday I had my last lecture. Today I gave my last project presentation. Two weeks from now, I'll be having my final paper.

It's going to end soon. Somehow, it feels time went by really fast, even though three years does seem really long.

Next up, the last leg. The highest hurdle. The final sprint. Then comes the next educational advancement.

I had thought today was going to be perfect. All we needed to do when we met at 11, would be to compile whatever we had, print the report, bind it, and head to class happily for the last presentation. It was my worst nightmare. Out of the blue, I was made the leader, which made me wonder if it was because I did most of the non-theoretical work, which was more demanding than typing the report itself. My team mates did produce work, but as most of our work was done at the eleventh hour, I was utterly disappointed. Not in them, but in myself. So what if I had gone 3 days without sleep? I should have checked on them, not expect that they would do everything just in time for compilation and printing today. A herd of lost sheep without their lead dog, make easy prey for the wolves.

I had learnt my lesson the hard way 6 months ago. I wanted very much to have 0 last minute efforts this time round. The opposite happened. With 10 times the magnitude from before, it striked back really hard, and with a vengeance. I hate sub-standard work. I'm thankful I am not my tutor. I absolutely detest submitting work with language errors in them. Just 1 error, is enough to start the bomb ticking. While engineers are extremely meticulous and perfect perfectionists in their calculations, dimensions and drawings, I'm relatively relaxed in that zone. Just ensure the necessary stuff is there, and we're done. Guess I should tweak my mindset a little more.

Now that it's over, all I can do is move on. nothing is going to change the fact we did very little, the bare minimum. It's alright to be average, but it's not alright to be below average. Deep down, I was extremely upset, but there was nothing I could do. My team wasn't at fault. I was wrong not to check on them, to give them that push. Not knowing I was the leader, only made things worse. If I had asked them to return on Monday at the very least, we would have been walking home happily at 3.15pm. The last day of school, I don't want it to be the final day of my formal education.

I am going to make a vow right here, right now. After graduating, I am going to continue studying the English language. If I were offered a seat in a university, I will not repeat any mistake from the past three years. Academics, life skills, whatever's not right. There are thousands vying for those limited seats. I want to prove, my results may not be outstanding, but I possess e the potential to go further than the best.

Final Week of School.

Finally I'm down to the last week of the last semester. Doesn't feel like one though. Feels as though it's just like any other week. The only thing that's good, is the long weekend each week, lasting five days from Friday till the following Tuesday. This final weekend's going to be even longer, meaning the exams are just a week away.

Missed the delivery on Wednesday due to a knee injury from Monday, and went home, taking a nap at 6pm. In the end, instead of an hour's rest, I had two. I started a dream at the bus stop near Clementi MRT Station at 9am, with a friend calling, asking if I wanted to join him for a game of soccer at Commonwealth at 10am. I took service 147. Soon after a cousin called, telling me he was on a helicopter, coming to pick me up with a friend. I asked them to meet me at the field at the Commonwealth MRT Station. When I arrived 30 minutes later, my friend wasn't there. A helicopter was there waiting for me. I boarded, and we flew to Sengkang. Apparently I fell asleep during the flight, and my cousin was telling me I should get into the red convertible upon landing. He got in, while his friend flew the chopper to another location.

He told me that the car was mine to use, and that we should head over to a field in Aljuned first. We reached a field larger than two football pitches combined. By then, it was 12pm. There was something about the place. It felt as though we were in Africa! Cheetahs, lions, wolves, dogs, cats, birds, rodents, crocodiles, rabbits were roaming freely all over the place! What was more amusing, they were tame and spoke the Queen's English! We spent the whole afternoon talking to the animals there. I went under a tree, and had a short nap with a pride of lions. They were a cosy bunch! It was 6.45pm when the sun was setting, and I woke. I saw my father sitting on a bench, reading the papers, waiting for me to leave with him. In a daze, I saw the animals, and started feeling great fear. I paced back away from the lions silently. Out of a sudden, one of the younger lions let out a roar. I turned and bolted for the gate.

In doing that, I broke one of the cardinal rules. If I started running, from one of the animals, they would see me as a hostile, and would swarm toward me like hornets. I jumped over a family of rabbits who happened to be hopping home, stopped short of the gate when I spotted a group of dogs and a pack of wolves enjoying what seemed to be a reunion dinner. By then, I was beggining to suffer from a panic attack. They looked up in surprise, staring hard at me. I stared back, before making a sharp right turn to sprint, even faster, toward the other gate where the car was parked. My father was still reading the papers. My cousin walked to the bench, and called in the chopper to evacuate me in case something really did happen. I narrowly evaded a ceetah who pounced. I got up and skipped to the left to avoid crashing into a dalmatian which ran up to me happily, from near the gate. A golden retriever came up, running by my side, as though we were best friends. In the end, we got cornered at the fence. A boxer(the one whose face looks like a bull dog, but taller) walked up, and said," The penalty for running from a predator animal, is to get hunted and bitten." Without hesitation, he bit my left arm. It felt like a vaccination. Initially the pain was unbearable, then it became numb.

Away from the crowd, someone shouted,"Don't move!" I heard a loud bang. The boxer fell, and lay motionless before me. "Don't worry,he's asleep," A man with a shot gun came up. "Guess He didn't tell you about the running did he? Well, you got bitten alright. That makes you a member." I stared at him as he helped me up. I woke up right after, realising it was 8pm.

Last night, I dreamt was at some camp, being deployed to some forested temple on a mission. Turns out, the temple was really big, but run down. It had basements! However, when we reached the first basement, it felt as though we were in some headquarters. Moments later, it felt as though I was inside the game Halo. The Covenant, the alien race, had been waiting in ambush for us. We gradually realised they were forcing us into a trap by luring us down below, when the mission objective happened to be up top. Our battalion made it out to the first floor just in time, before a bomb planted by them exploded at the bottom. The Master Chief arrived in an enemy fighter, making things alot easier from there. We broke through their forces without much difficulty, making it to the control room. I woke up after we came into contact with a prophet.

Chinese New Year 2011

The transition from 2010 to 2011 was extremely fast. Just today, I looked back to the new year of 2010, and now today, we're at 2011, the rabbit's year.

The past few days were really relaxed, going from place to place, seeing my driving skills improve tremendously within just 2 days, when back in January, I still had to wait for the road to be clear without any obstruction before turning out from a minor road, I needed to make many tiny adjustments while parking, I did not even dare to park in a parallel lot, I had to drive in a car park extremely slowly, making sure I had perfect clearance on both sides before I went up or down the slope to the next deck in a multi-storey car park. In just 3 days, I got those skills to near perfection, with help from family, relatives and friends. Driving more than 220 kilometres over three days, spanning a total of 7 hours on the roads, to 13 destinations in 3 regions.

On Thursday, we went to visit our grandparents in the morning. I was very unsure of my skills back then, and my judgement was rather poor. In the afternoon after lunch, we started on our visiting. Grand mother's place first, followed by my aunt, then off to Plaza Singapura with another aunt, uncle and cousins to catch The Green Hornet. That movie sure gave me some motivation to drive at night I guess. Thanks to the driving at Plaza Singapura, I became more comfortable manoeuvring in tight spaces. We ended the night by visiting my second uncle's family.

I travelled to nearly every corner of the Eastern region of the island from 1.15pm on Saturday, getting lost in Bedok before eventually finding my way back home at 12.18am.

This week, it's back to studying. On the way home the night before many things went through my mind. What about now, later, today? What's going to happen over the next few months, years? What will I do? How would I do it? Where should I go? I felt as though I had found my calling, as though I could see my life right ahead of me. It felt as though, I was in some time machine, driving through time, into the future and back. However in the morning when I woke up, I felt as though everything that happened was just a dream, that it never happened, until I looked at my phone, realising I had forgotten to reply a few close friends the night before.

I had been feeling worried about absolutely nothing for four days now. I have no idea what's going to happen. I met someone who sounded like you, which made my heart skip a beat, but the feeling's still there. At least the twitching in my left eye ended, which I feel might be the fact I met my former form teacher's cousin at home today when she came to visit.

Roads and Decisions

Increasing acceleration. That's what some would say. From a luxuriously laid-back and relaxed holiday mood with a shot of vodka on Monday, to an extremely fast paced pre-examination mood with high adrenaline action over the weekend. Oh, I don't drink. The vodka was just some root beer from A&W.

Monday it was just some simple revision, with the sole intention of catching up for Mathematics, and I left out the 3 reports, which are due over the next 2 weeks. Tuesday was more or less the same, except I was preparing for a different module. Wednesday, was when I finally started on a design report, whose first draft is due come Wednesday. Progress was slow, considering the fact it was akin to a squirrel waking from a 100-day hibernation. Thursday. The first eye opener. It was talk after talk from 12pm till 5pm. In between I went to a few booths to find out more about how I could further my education after graduation. Friday, the mad rush to get things done finally began. Once it started, there was no turning back. Saturday, came another wake up call. This time, it was really bad. Looking at the guide, my options were severely limited, thanks to the effort I put in toward the end of 2010. Now, I had to give it everything I could, to finish it well. I went to the Suntec Convention Centre, where the Nanyang Technological University was holding talks for Polytechnic students. I found my calling in 2 disciplines, but I'll leave it to fate to decide which I would be accepted into, but more importantly, if I would be offered a place to study. Today, was a miracle. I completed in 2 hours, a segment of the report that used to take me 3 days to complete a year ago. In the evening, I completed another segment in 30minutes, of which the similar process would have taken me 2 hours if I were to do it a year back.

On Thursday, a senior I have known for three years, would be going to Australia to further his studies, very soon. Everyone around me is getting better. I'm no exception. Everyone's moving forward. Some are faster, some are slower. No one is getting left behind. I should follow the tide, using it as a guide to my next destination. Meanwhile, I have got a fight to finish, to complete the course with the last colourful set of results, to prove that I have indeed done my very best, and have no regrets as to what may come after that.

The past few days have been tough, but things would only get tougher, as February and March approaches. Come March, I will ride the waves of a tsunami, conquering vast parcels of land that once mocked my weak, humble body that could only go where the waters went. I shall prove to them, I might have been the wreckage of a ship, but once ashore, I become the foundation, the pillar, of a new development.

Workshop

Today I had my first TCP workshop in 2011. More of a preparation on what to expect in an interview, be it for a scholarship, university admission, or a job.

Learnt lots of stuff from preparation, what to wear, to how to portray oneself and everything about the exchange of words.

Felt really tired, but managed to learn lots of things I never knew about interviews. Prior to receiving the email, I had thought that a polo tee and jeans would make the cut. Apparently I was so wrong!

110111

That's a lot of 1s today. The next time it happens would be in October and November.

The first week of the year passed rather well. Almost, until the first day of the second week. Saturday. The days before, we were setting up, everything was going really well. This year, was the first time I was taking part in the Open House, joining the frontline with the Student Ambassadors and staff. The experience sure was good, and I felt my skin grow a couple of centimetres thicker. I was more daring as compared to during the F1 weekend last year. I must say, the team, my boss and supervisors have indeed done a great job in pushing me. Though I wasn't really into the service-oriented roles, it sure helped me gain some confidence, and improve on my speaking skills! A great improvement compared to 6 years ago, while I was a student volunteer at the Singapore Science Centre, and visitors had a difficult time understanding the words I spoke!

My eyes gained a few kilos as well, from all the eye-candy! Well, I don't know, but maybe I should just hang in there. I have faith that day would come, good or bad, sooner or later. Saturday was the busiest day, and I had to put on a one-man show. Many thanks to the friends who stood by me, for I would not have been able to survive the last 4 hours without them!

Yesterday, I found out from a friend that I had another dream that happened in the real world. The first part of a dream that happened 2 years ago, back in August 2009. I had already expected it, and told my friend, that part of the dream did come true once I found out it happened.

Apparently, I failed my NAPFA once again. This time, it was the shuttle run station which I did badly. Back in September I was able to score 5 points for that station, but today, I scored only 1. Perhaps it was the floor, perhaps I really needed more training. The coming Monday, I shall train for it.

Tomorrow, I would be confirming my grades for the common test. Hopefully there would be no marking mistakes. Hopefully, on Thursday or Friday, I could help with the course counselling, even if I would not be given any accreditation for it. Just want to help the prospective students know that this course, is what they truly want to study and enter as a career in future.

The night before, I dreamt I visited a fair at Suntec or Expo in the afternoon. The booths looked like guest registration tables at wedding dinners. Of course, there would be 2 representatives stationed at each booth.

There were so many booths, yet the place did not seem to be crowded with people. I visited 5 booths, a junior college, a polytechnic, a local and a foreign university, as well as a travel agent. At each of the booths, each time I turned around, I would notice a girl, turning with her back facing me. I felt weird. As much as I wanted to go up to her to start a conversation, I wasn't able to, as I was making inquiries at the booths.

At 3pm, I entered a room where a seminar, meant for students preparing to travel to Australia for their university education, was being held, but was opened to the public. I sat next to a guy, who I did not know, but seemed to be a good friend of mine(maybe I would know him in future). He was going there to study. Just as the seminar ended, he said to me, the girl who I noticed, wasn't the one I was looking for(though it might appear she knew me).

I had no idea who the girl was. 1.6 to 1.7m tall, shoulder length black hair, and wore a grey sweater with a hood, and a pair of dark blue jeans.

1st Dream of the Year(which I remembered)

I can't remember much of the details, even after trying so hard to recall since 9am this morning. Seems as though my memory's starting to fall back a little. It feels as though there's something controlling what it wants me to remember. When I try to recall something from that dream, I'll manage to see something, but just as it happens, I end up seeing myself rolling in bed. Imagine yourself trying to focus on looking at partially decoded images from a Starhub Cable TV channel, on your television screen.

The places, well, I'm not sure, though there are two possibilities. At a public library, or at a shopping mall. I'm sure we did take the SBS Light Rapid Transit(LRT) train, but I did not know whether it was the Punggol LRT, or the Sengkang one.

Characters. It's the usual. I wonder how many times I had seen them in my dreams.

What we did, I can't recall except that we were having a little chat at a table in a restaurant, or in a library.

I woke up just as the train doors opened.

Since we took the LRT train, I'm assuming we did go to another place after that, though I'm not sure if I was sending them home, one by one(since I did not know which line we were on).

I wonder why, I had been seeing these images. Had I been thinking a lot about them? Not a lot, but maybe once a day or two? At one part, I seemed to be interested in one of them, can't really confirm that, though I had decided, not to light any candles till the future, when things are brighter and clearer(even if something like that were possible). Talking to them. I'm very sure I know why I dreamt of that. I had been dying to have a conversation, but seldom knew how to start and maintain one(for at least 10 minutes). I should become less tense, and relax more often. In that dream, the conversation(though I did not remember what we were talking about) appeared to carry the most sense. Whether I'll be there in future, well, we'll have to see about that. Difficult, but I'll just go with the flow.

When I woke, I had 2 resolutions. Know, and understand them better, so that I could be a better person to them. The other, well we'll see.

2011

2010 went by so fast. Many things happened, but it just felt like a month. It's like running a marathon. Just moments ago, you were striding effortlessly past the start line. Minutes, and hours into the race, you gradually find yourself losing strength and stamina, however the momentum to go on just gets stronger. By the time you notice the finish line in sight, you're in great pain, feeling as though your legs could detach from your body and fall off anytime. However, it's the will to finish, that provides the force, the last bit of energy in you, to complete it. Completing a year, is just like running a marathon. 365 days, 366 once every 4 years, Your age simply depicts the number of marathons you have completed.

In the past year, studies was more on the downside, while everything else, was way up. On Tuesday, January 5th last year, I received my driving licence. Ever since, I had been driving at least once a week on average.

In the past 2 years, it seemed that going to the Philippines was like an annual activity, though each time it was a totally different experience. Saw for myself how environments change faster than people. I went on an adventure race with a friend, for the fun of it, back in June. During the term break, an unexpected meeting took place, which led to a reconciliation with a few long lost friends. Wondering how they're doing.

In June, I took part in an adventure race with a friend in somewhere in May or June, which helped prepare me for a marathon later at the end of the year.

Shortly after in July, I was the official photographer of Speechcraft 2010, a speech contest for Ngee Ann Polytechnic students jointly organised by the School of Interdisciplinary Studies, and the Ngee Ann Polytechnic Students' Toastmasters Club.

I attended a Gawad Kalinga Summit in school and at the National University of Singapore, a Philipine Non Government Organisation which aims to send world poverty to the history books by 2015. Learnt many differences in the ways their culture hosted such large scale events.

Later on, I became a volunteer while being an event photographer for a friend and Youth Expedition Project Delegation Head. Operation Juvi as it was called, an event started by a second year student from the School of Life Sciences and Chemical Technology. It's the first time I was involved in something by the United Nations. Hopefully, I'll be able to return to help if they held it again this year! A day later, I went to Liang Court for an Italian dinner with my cousins, uncle and aunt, who were going to take me for the 2010 New Paper Big Walk, which would be held the following day. That was the first time I stepped into the first floor of the Marina Bay Sands.

Then came the Youth Olympic Games in August. Nothing much actually, though it was an experience to learn night photography featuring fireworks, and putting what I learnt to use just 30 minutes after grasping the basics! Not a very fruitful evening for me, but I did get a couple of good shots.

In September, I had my examinations clash with the Saceda Youth Lead International Programme in Asia 2010, which made it a real challenge for me to prioritise my time. I wanted the best of both worlds, and to make things worse, that was the toughest semester in my three years of Polytechnic Education. The result wasn't in my favour, though I already knew the direction I was headed for. After my exams, I took on my first job with a few classmates and schoolmates, taking stocks and repacking for delivery to two locations during the Formula 1 Weekend, though my main role was a sales associate at a booth. Not my cup of tea definitely, but it sure helped me gain some confidence, and my skin became a few centimetres thicker after that.

September till November were the toughest months in 2010. Long story short, I was juggling between many things, which made it hard for me to stay focused most of the time. October and November were spent mainly on finishing up on a project, and preparing for a big run in December.

December, well, it was one of the happiest, and most happening months, with lots of gatherings, outings, projects, presentations, examinations and events. A marathon on Sunday, 5th December, which was successful thanks to a friend who guided me along(though there were times I got so fearful of him, I wanted to fall so far behind he would give up on me). A day later I had my final presentation, which was the best group presentation we had since the first one. Two weeks later, I had my examinations. Three papers, with 2 expected A grades, and a B or C grade for the third. Results out in the coming week. The last two weeks of December, was well, filled with partying, and hanging out with friends I had not met in a long time. I went for a medical check-up on the 21st, a Wednesday. Found out I had a heart problem, which was very unexpected since I never had anything wrong with my heart. Well, went to get a second opinion on Wednesday, but found nothing wrong. So, I guess it should be fine, for now, until another review scheduled by the government is done on the 4th of April.

2010 seemed rather simple to me, as there were less than 20 big events I took part in, though I'm sure I attended more than 40 events and celebrations in all. 2011, is definitely going to be a better year. I have no regrets to how 2010 ended, but I would work towards my goals in 2011. Some are, well, nearly impossible(since they depend on fate, not on my part alone), but others, are achievable if I work towards them.