Another Wishful Thinking of mine...

Will you??

~Ring our doorbell and appear in human form in front of me and shout " I'M BACK!"
~Actually appear right in front of us and told us u are back for real..and the one that went on is
not u??
~Surprise me like how the military family guys surprise their kids with their homecoming?

Mummy,

i would really wished for a hug from u.. someone made a super clean and deep cut to me today. i dunno what has happen and want to know..but i'm closing this chapter of my life. i guess u knew everything from up there right? and yes dealing with an emotional departure again. i dealt one physical which is u..now another 2 more comes this way. E i really dunno what happen but i won't pry but i do hope that he reads this and understands the pain of that deep cut..it was just so sudden like urs.. u could have let me know earlier about ur sickness but u chose not to..he could have told us earlier but he chose to do it at the most crucial time. and for JingYing..manage to send her off..but she just won't reply any of my messages..i guess i'm not that appreciated by anyone..and T..just told me ytd that she doesn't trust me at all.. all my so called Godsend stuffs don't ever last long. well now i strongly believe being along is still the best. All this chapters don last long anyway..so why start the pain when it could have been avoided from the start..

Dear Mummy, many things happened and are happening...

Haji Lane:

We went to Haji Lane today with E. It was hot but yet fun..went to this shop that sells all the vintage things. Something happened so sudden, somehow being in that shop i've started to feel that u were right beside me... it totally felt that u were right next to me..saw many many things that shared our memories together, for example the transparent hand phone..but soon i was awaken back to my senses..the feeling was totally gone.. but still i thanks God for that feeling that he gave me..totally can imagine if u were really beside me..the exactly feelings will be the same..the chattering noise coming from u telling me last time this last time that..somehow i'm still not really over that u are gone..still holding on tightly to the fact that u are still around us.

Workshop:

We had workshops again..this time it was more special, we were doing it with Keef, Jin Kiat and Tang..while working with them for the past few days, i've realised that they are actually not very dao as they seem but in actual fact they are very friendly and nice people in fact we even played Monopoly today! haha it was such a fun time..had alot of laughter while playing really bunch of funny and ncie people..how nice to be friends with them too.. guess they are godsend too i guess..thank god for them too!

Was just thinking about u a couple of days ago at night..the scenes at the hospital keeps on flooding in to my mind as and when i take a break from doing work...be it on the train at home..as long as i'm stone-ing or dreaming..those scary scenes will always flood in..

Praise God...

i thanks god for placing 2 great teachers in my life..Miss Adeline Goh..who showered me with lots of TLC over the years..and the newest Erik..who is starting to be like Mother Teresa

and of course my poly friends..despite quarrels we're still friends

and BJ-MCEYAY family...for giving me the support throughout the many years..

Jing Ying and Laopo!!

and the list goes on..u guys know who u are..so don get jealous

MAMA..

Yesterday was one of the days that i will really remember..many unexpected things happen..its was really nice..but on top of that..i did something bad to another person...i din mean to but i was just so afraid of his comments and so called "jokes" why can't his jokes be like the rest?? why must his be like so affecting at times??

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MUMMY!!

its the first mother's day without you oma..but i do hope u like the variety of flowers at ur grave..actually by now we;re still outside eating dinner walking around and enjoying the time together..but at least i know u are always right beside me..missed ya today!!

somehow i don't feel that u are gone anymore..the feeling i have now is like u went traveling with ah mah for a long time to take a break and not coming back yet..and left us to daddy..and not the same feeling as i have during the wake..somehow i can smile and play with my friends and feel not depressed because of this feeling i have..but sometimes i do get emo-ed and that sudden feeling disappeared..leaving me to feel that lost i have..its just so difficult to explain it in words but i guess u do get what i meant..its like somehow i feel that u are still alive instead of "sleeping underground"..but i do agree sometimes i feel that u are sleeping and get emo over it..but who cares..its how i express my love for u..its like everywhere is celebrating mother's day..still not fitting in..but i made alittle improvement today..i din cry when i'm at ur grave..i was able to smile and talk to u..able to smile and walk away..able to look back and walk away.. but the feeling of u leaving us has not totally subsided yet..when people still ask me serious things abt u..i still get teary.. anyways do u like the shells??