And so The Blog undergoes slight layout revamping, excuse the fact that it took me hours to find out how to change the colour of the header box and to actually choose the colour. Photo done by me, took on the day before the Semakau trip (to test the camera). Photoshop also done by me, to make it more layout-friendly. Pardon the inevitable feeling of self-satisfaction, though I don't know what's that all about.
I seem to have forgotten to address something yesterday, so I'll just mention it here.
Theory Exam is over!!! Which means that there's no more exams til next year! ^o^
Ah.. it was average... just guess when I don't know what to do. At least I don't leave it blank, right? (like I always do for "zao ju"; thank goodness that's all in the past)
Amd talking about the past, it's really past. i was just browsing through the older posts I posted at the start of the year and it doesn't sound like me anymore. Have I actually changed that much over the course of a year? I admit, there are plenty of times where I'd go OOC because I'm in hyper mood. That happens. (refer to random radioactive squirrel post a couple weeks back) But even the serious posts don't sound like me.
Well, imagine what went through my mind when I looked at the old reviews for fanfiction two years back. That was not me, seriously.
Which brings me to a point. That's the reason why I wanted to have this blog, why I needed this. It's to serve as a record for all the things I've done, to keep track of my memories, to trace all the changes that I've gone through, and to store all my memos directed to my brain and my future self.
That's why blogging holds a sort of importance to me, because it's nice to know that part of your old self is somewhere. I don't have many photos of the past, but at least I have my words, the words I used to say but will probably not say again. Maybe that's why I'm beginning to like taking photos for occasions -- to serve as a memory, in a more solid form. Words aren't tangible, but certainly more real than mere thoughts.
Thoughts always slip away. There has been countless times where I just forget what I was thinking a moment before, what I had wanted to say to someone. I don't even remember dreams anymore. They just slip away though my fingers the moment I begin to wake up. The more I grasp at it, the more it is intent on getting away.
It's so dangerous to just rely on thoughts, I'd thought a blog would do more good. That way I'll remember things past, both the good and bad, silly and the lame, sad and the opressed times.
If you look carefully, I really am aiming to convert it to some sort of memory archive. I like to link to relavent pages, in hope to give my posts more substance, and that I'll still be able to check and remember these sites again in the future.
That's also why I like people commentng on the posts, because I'm sure whatever's said would still be there for a while yet. I'm not sure if the tagboard archives the exchanges.
lol, at this rate I'm going, I'm sounding so much like Ritsuka. But honestly, that was my intention from the start. Kinda late to be mentioning only now, on the 107th post. And no, I'm not suffering from whatever split personality thingus. I'm just recording what happens when you move from being a child to a more mature woman. I'd mentioned this before, that maturity is a very strange thing. You start thinking things differently, and suddenly everything seems so troubling. It'll do me good to remember who I was before that happened. Or if that isn't possible, just observe who this strange person was before it morphed into "me".
I thought I had started a little late, but it doesn't seem so. Just look at the first few posts. Ah well, I have the older stuff in my diaries since I was really a child.
And if you're wondering why blog and not diary, it's because I never find time for diaries nowadays. If I'm not wrong, I only have one or two entries for the entire Primary Six year. Besides, blogging is more fun... since you have your own site, your own comments, and the risk of getting discovered. Heh. Wonderful things, all in one package.
So keep anticipating the future, but try not to forget to look back.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Saturday, October 29, 2005
I need an eye checkup
That's one more off the wishlist, and $60 off my savings.
I decided on the OST, even though I did see Your Eyes Only staring back right at me, tempting me to buy it.
And may I say, I'm just so blind.
Firstly, I looked at the rows and rows of CDs, and immediately start looking where I think the FF section should be. I see Chrono Trigger, and then look somewhere below to see Love Will Grow, and Celtic Moon, and FF Tactics, and a lot of FF IV, VI and I and IIs. First thing that comes to my mind is, so no FFVII again. By now I think I'm containing my disappointment rather well.
I begin browsing through the CDs behind them, just to make sure there's nothing that I'm looking for hidden behind them. After a while of confirmation, I look at the other places, and see Fruits Basket (minidisk lol), Escaflowne, Ghost in the Shell, Gundam Seed etc.
And then, I look back at the FF section again. And look up.
Stupid me.
I should have looked under New Releases.
T__T
Ha. So now I've found my AC OST. Which was sitting beside Chrono Trigger all along. I'm so blind.
If that's not enough to convince you, there's another example.
Less than half an hour later...
I'm looking for Your Eyes Only, Loveless manga, and Ultimania Omega all at once. At Kino, of course. I haven't had much luck with any of them, but I've noticed that DN 8 and Naruto 29 are out.
Next, I decide to look at where they used to place the Ultimania guides. Nothing. Just a lot of GS stuff, and new artbooks. WR is gone, however.
I glance at the shelf residing on the left, usually hosting a horde of artbooks. Saiyuki is still there, but the rest have changed.
So.
Taking a quick glace at those on display, I crouch down to scrutinise the last shelf, which is packed with a lot of books. I find one copy of WR (apparently they sold out), and get a little shock when I see the title Your Eyes Only on one of the books.
But. But but but...
It was one by CLAMP. Argh. Wrong. Try again.
And it is this time that I decide to look up, again, to see this purple hardcover, very large book titled Your Eyes Only on the shelf right above the one I was looking at previously. It was one of those on display, and it was the first one on the left, meaning that it was propped with its cover facing outside, with no other book to obscure it.
Not funny. I am so blind.
(Ah, but I had to leave it behind, because I was broke by then. Getting it would mean another $60 down the drain. )
Now convinced that I am indeed rather blind when it comes to searching for things, I look very hard for any sign of a very very very fat, silver cover book named FFVII Ultimania Omega which incidentally, should be hard to miss.
Nope, nothing. Zilch. Nil. Zero.
Oh well, I'll try again another time. At least I found the Japanese Loveless manga. The covers are much prettier on the actual thing than in scans.
I decided on the OST, even though I did see Your Eyes Only staring back right at me, tempting me to buy it.
And may I say, I'm just so blind.
Firstly, I looked at the rows and rows of CDs, and immediately start looking where I think the FF section should be. I see Chrono Trigger, and then look somewhere below to see Love Will Grow, and Celtic Moon, and FF Tactics, and a lot of FF IV, VI and I and IIs. First thing that comes to my mind is, so no FFVII again. By now I think I'm containing my disappointment rather well.
I begin browsing through the CDs behind them, just to make sure there's nothing that I'm looking for hidden behind them. After a while of confirmation, I look at the other places, and see Fruits Basket (minidisk lol), Escaflowne, Ghost in the Shell, Gundam Seed etc.
And then, I look back at the FF section again. And look up.
Stupid me.
I should have looked under New Releases.
T__T
Ha. So now I've found my AC OST. Which was sitting beside Chrono Trigger all along. I'm so blind.
If that's not enough to convince you, there's another example.
Less than half an hour later...
I'm looking for Your Eyes Only, Loveless manga, and Ultimania Omega all at once. At Kino, of course. I haven't had much luck with any of them, but I've noticed that DN 8 and Naruto 29 are out.
Next, I decide to look at where they used to place the Ultimania guides. Nothing. Just a lot of GS stuff, and new artbooks. WR is gone, however.
I glance at the shelf residing on the left, usually hosting a horde of artbooks. Saiyuki is still there, but the rest have changed.
So.
Taking a quick glace at those on display, I crouch down to scrutinise the last shelf, which is packed with a lot of books. I find one copy of WR (apparently they sold out), and get a little shock when I see the title Your Eyes Only on one of the books.
But. But but but...
It was one by CLAMP. Argh. Wrong. Try again.
And it is this time that I decide to look up, again, to see this purple hardcover, very large book titled Your Eyes Only on the shelf right above the one I was looking at previously. It was one of those on display, and it was the first one on the left, meaning that it was propped with its cover facing outside, with no other book to obscure it.
Not funny. I am so blind.
(Ah, but I had to leave it behind, because I was broke by then. Getting it would mean another $60 down the drain. )
Now convinced that I am indeed rather blind when it comes to searching for things, I look very hard for any sign of a very very very fat, silver cover book named FFVII Ultimania Omega which incidentally, should be hard to miss.
Nope, nothing. Zilch. Nil. Zero.
Oh well, I'll try again another time. At least I found the Japanese Loveless manga. The covers are much prettier on the actual thing than in scans.
Friday, October 28, 2005
stare hard enough, and you may see sth
The trip to Semakau was average. The trip itself being more interesting than Semakau. Or at least I found Semakau more interesting the first time I went there. This time, it was fine weather, but we didn't get to see anything, no pink lightning, no tornadoes, and not even a heron.
I've uploaded photos yet again, located here. I seem to have this obsession with taking photos for events nowadays.
It's such a nice feeling sitting in the rain when the rain in question is a light drizzle. Perfect weather, I tell you.
The only downside I can think of this trip is the headache that's been plaguing me since the time I got onto the boat. Argh. Damned headaches. Maybe when this headache is over I may talk more about blogging and bloggie... and throw in hamtaro-Zack in there too.
Well, I've figured that I planned to speak about the purpose of this blog on the 100th post, but I was too busy -celebrating- for the end of exams and such, and I'd probably won't get around to doing that until, well, sometime later. Sometimes I just need to remind myself why I'm doing this.
By the way, a note of advice: if you see post(s) that simply do not make any sense, it's probably meant for myself to read... or for someone who has enough free time to decipher what on Earth(or Venus) I'm trying to say. The only way to keep your thoughts private is to ensure that only you understand them. No doubt anyone can find your thoughts floating around on the Net easily. But understanding is another thing altogether, so make use of that. :P
Of course, it'll be fun to see who gets exactly what I'm ranting about. ;)
I've uploaded photos yet again, located here. I seem to have this obsession with taking photos for events nowadays.
It's such a nice feeling sitting in the rain when the rain in question is a light drizzle. Perfect weather, I tell you.
The only downside I can think of this trip is the headache that's been plaguing me since the time I got onto the boat. Argh. Damned headaches. Maybe when this headache is over I may talk more about blogging and bloggie... and throw in hamtaro-Zack in there too.
Well, I've figured that I planned to speak about the purpose of this blog on the 100th post, but I was too busy -celebrating- for the end of exams and such, and I'd probably won't get around to doing that until, well, sometime later. Sometimes I just need to remind myself why I'm doing this.
By the way, a note of advice: if you see post(s) that simply do not make any sense, it's probably meant for myself to read... or for someone who has enough free time to decipher what on Earth(or Venus) I'm trying to say. The only way to keep your thoughts private is to ensure that only you understand them. No doubt anyone can find your thoughts floating around on the Net easily. But understanding is another thing altogether, so make use of that. :P
Of course, it'll be fun to see who gets exactly what I'm ranting about. ;)
Monday, October 24, 2005
yet another rainy day
To reflect on the year past, so as to face the years ahead.
I think I know that.
But fact remains that I didn't like the past year, hadn't had a good year at all, so what does this speak of the coming years?
To look forward to better times, to work harder in achieving wishes, to close more than an eye when dealing with other people. For what purpose, it is not clear. For how long, it doesn't state. For what result, no one knows.
Or maybe I should say that I had some good times, though those were rather infrequent. There should be appreciation for quality time.
Or I should think, all the more better. Challenges should be met with a positive attitude.
Or I should sigh, there's surely going to be much better times ahead.
I would say that I've learnt a great deal in the past year, and I would almost daringly say that it's more than any year in my history. Even more than Primary Six, which I think was the year I changed the most.
Also, I think it's a valuable experience to always learn from those older than oneself. You'll usually find out more things that would probably benefit you too. Of course, there's just no lack of people out there who will keep on surprising you, as though it's their job.
What's more, I seem to know more and more University students. And people who are good at what they do.
Such motivation.
To leave a mark as that of rain, just to disappear in time. Isn't grasping at reason sometimes as difficult and catching the raindrops? We may not need this reason, but we hold on to its importance, existing somewhere.
To face the changes time brings, yet saddened by lost. Is it not like observing the sky change, taking on a different hue altogether? Don't we all look forward to the next time it'll be day, or night, the sunny day, or the rainy day?
But looking forward to it doesn't mean a thing at times. What matters is how you use the time before the desired happens. It's not worth it to be just wasted away. After all, if the process is important, then this process of waiting is just as important. Who can accurately tell you when something will happen? Believe it if you must, believe if it makes you feel better.
Believe it if you will, for the day doesn't wait for anyone, nor it is sure about anything other than itself.
Keep on doing what you have been doing, and it'll be okay.
It'll be okay.
I think I know that.
But fact remains that I didn't like the past year, hadn't had a good year at all, so what does this speak of the coming years?
To look forward to better times, to work harder in achieving wishes, to close more than an eye when dealing with other people. For what purpose, it is not clear. For how long, it doesn't state. For what result, no one knows.
Or maybe I should say that I had some good times, though those were rather infrequent. There should be appreciation for quality time.
Or I should think, all the more better. Challenges should be met with a positive attitude.
Or I should sigh, there's surely going to be much better times ahead.
I would say that I've learnt a great deal in the past year, and I would almost daringly say that it's more than any year in my history. Even more than Primary Six, which I think was the year I changed the most.
Also, I think it's a valuable experience to always learn from those older than oneself. You'll usually find out more things that would probably benefit you too. Of course, there's just no lack of people out there who will keep on surprising you, as though it's their job.
What's more, I seem to know more and more University students. And people who are good at what they do.
Such motivation.
To leave a mark as that of rain, just to disappear in time. Isn't grasping at reason sometimes as difficult and catching the raindrops? We may not need this reason, but we hold on to its importance, existing somewhere.
To face the changes time brings, yet saddened by lost. Is it not like observing the sky change, taking on a different hue altogether? Don't we all look forward to the next time it'll be day, or night, the sunny day, or the rainy day?
But looking forward to it doesn't mean a thing at times. What matters is how you use the time before the desired happens. It's not worth it to be just wasted away. After all, if the process is important, then this process of waiting is just as important. Who can accurately tell you when something will happen? Believe it if you must, believe if it makes you feel better.
Believe it if you will, for the day doesn't wait for anyone, nor it is sure about anything other than itself.
Keep on doing what you have been doing, and it'll be okay.
It'll be okay.
Monday, October 17, 2005
unknown source
If something just needs to go wrong every other holiday season, then I say I must have done something really bad in my previous life, because karma's not coming back. Or maybe I've been offending people unknowingly, in this life.
Hm.
No use thinking about that though. Not that I'm usually this superstitious.
What's a bit more endurance?
I pick up lessons from weird places.
Hm.
No use thinking about that though. Not that I'm usually this superstitious.
What's a bit more endurance?
I pick up lessons from weird places.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
not suicidal
I wanted to post the warning labels I got from Mat, but blogger doesn't allow me to. Oh well. Just to let the entire world know that I'm a radioactive squrrel which can implode at any moment. Muahahaha! Radioactivity and self-destruction!
er hem. Cough.
I think that quiz totally detroyed the original mood I had, which means that this post has to change course now.
Er, just now.
Well, I'm pretty much left with nothing to say, other than
Fear Teh RaBId RaNDoM SELf-ImPLodInG rADioAcTivE sQUiRrEls!
Oh man, it really destroyed my mood. lmao.
er hem. Cough.
I think that quiz totally detroyed the original mood I had, which means that this post has to change course now.
Er, just now.
Well, I'm pretty much left with nothing to say, other than
Fear Teh RaBId RaNDoM SELf-ImPLodInG rADioAcTivE sQUiRrEls!
Oh man, it really destroyed my mood. lmao.
Friday, October 14, 2005
harping on issues
This is going to be one hell of a rant.
Life's not fair, and never fair, but when will I learn to get over that fact?
It's been a rather long time.
But I still can't bear to witness a lifetime's worth of ambitions, effort, and breaking rules come to naught. Especially when you don't end up back at the starting point, ground zero. All you get is more shit.
Which, by the way, is worse than where you originally began.
In this way, I'm sure that kindness does not beget kindness.
Okay, okay. So now you think you know what I'm getting at and you're feeling worried for me and suspect my mental capabilities because I'm ranting about none other than Zack and the whole disastrous incident.
Actually, these kind of rants take place all the time, just not here and now. The usual venue is at Brain Building. Or maybe even with the other fans.
I don't know, but I just so affected by that guy, and I sometimes think it's ridiculous but no, knowing that doesn't help me on things.
His self-confidence bothers me. The friendship bothers me. And the whole starking contrast between him and most people bothers me a lot. Especially when you start thinking about how Cloud couldn't have done this, done that, if not for him. He wouldn't even be alive in the first place. Heh, if Zack was a little more self-centered I would think Cloud would be left in the basement of ShinRa mansion for the rest of his lifetime, which I don't think will be long. He would either totally break down, become another Sephiroth, or just die a torturous death.
But, unfortunately.
Zack is the kind guy, Cloud's best friend, Sephiroth's war buddy, and would do everything within his capabilities to help his friends. I have a feeling that this has something to do with his family relations. I've just found out that he ran away from home when he (I would bet) was barely a teen, wanting to join SOLDIER, to fulfil his ambition. He ran away, writing back only after he did it. He did it, in the end. This was the face of success, at that time. He faced it all, and he did it.
But I didn't think he would want to face the world by himself. That was where his friends came in. With family out of your life, you would have to expect that he regards friendship with some importance. On all those missions, he was both well-known because of his First Class rank, and his personality. Even the Turks could feel it resonating off him.
In fact, he overcame the problems concerning ShinRa, and looked at the rest of the world in the eye as well. He went as far as Icicle on one of his missions, and then we learnt something new; Zack had never seen snow much, and he thought Icicle, as a snow country, was really beautiful. I don't think he ever knew that Aeris was born in Icicle.
Despite possessing enormous strength, he was still one who would choose peace over all else. How ironic. He wanted to join SOLDIER, but will not resort to fighting as far as possible? I was kind of wondering why he decided to scare off two of those wolf-monsters rather than kill them, which was the popular choice. The Turk accompanying him killed those that were after him/her. But not Zack. No, never Zack.
I wonder what he did during the Wutai war. Sephiroth would know.
It didn't leave him a changed man, apparently.
It's just so damned hard to get someone like him down, I fully understand why Cloud chose to impersonate Zack. He was not only his best friend and saviour, he was everything more.
Of course it was Zack.
He had to live his future for him, anyway.
For so long, Zack's efforts were all for Cloud. If he didn't do something with that opportunity handed to him by sheer luck, he would live with remorse and bitter regret. I'm sure. That's if he lives in the first place.
That was it. One more thing that totally broke him. Zack's spirit lived in Cloud, except that it went totally wrong. I think Aeris could see that rather easily. Tifa was troubled, but she didn't have that courage to voice out. Cloud, was living somewhere in the deep recesses of his own mind, and let Zack take over. He had spent too much time with him to know him well, inside out. He had sinned so much, and had decided to repay for his mistakes, though accidental, entirely by walking away, seeking escapism.
Zack had been such a friend to him, and Cloud knew it too.
But that was no way to repay a friend.
Life's not fair, and never fair, but when will I learn to get over that fact?
It's been a rather long time.
But I still can't bear to witness a lifetime's worth of ambitions, effort, and breaking rules come to naught. Especially when you don't end up back at the starting point, ground zero. All you get is more shit.
Which, by the way, is worse than where you originally began.
In this way, I'm sure that kindness does not beget kindness.
Okay, okay. So now you think you know what I'm getting at and you're feeling worried for me and suspect my mental capabilities because I'm ranting about none other than Zack and the whole disastrous incident.
Actually, these kind of rants take place all the time, just not here and now. The usual venue is at Brain Building. Or maybe even with the other fans.
I don't know, but I just so affected by that guy, and I sometimes think it's ridiculous but no, knowing that doesn't help me on things.
His self-confidence bothers me. The friendship bothers me. And the whole starking contrast between him and most people bothers me a lot. Especially when you start thinking about how Cloud couldn't have done this, done that, if not for him. He wouldn't even be alive in the first place. Heh, if Zack was a little more self-centered I would think Cloud would be left in the basement of ShinRa mansion for the rest of his lifetime, which I don't think will be long. He would either totally break down, become another Sephiroth, or just die a torturous death.
But, unfortunately.
Zack is the kind guy, Cloud's best friend, Sephiroth's war buddy, and would do everything within his capabilities to help his friends. I have a feeling that this has something to do with his family relations. I've just found out that he ran away from home when he (I would bet) was barely a teen, wanting to join SOLDIER, to fulfil his ambition. He ran away, writing back only after he did it. He did it, in the end. This was the face of success, at that time. He faced it all, and he did it.
But I didn't think he would want to face the world by himself. That was where his friends came in. With family out of your life, you would have to expect that he regards friendship with some importance. On all those missions, he was both well-known because of his First Class rank, and his personality. Even the Turks could feel it resonating off him.
In fact, he overcame the problems concerning ShinRa, and looked at the rest of the world in the eye as well. He went as far as Icicle on one of his missions, and then we learnt something new; Zack had never seen snow much, and he thought Icicle, as a snow country, was really beautiful. I don't think he ever knew that Aeris was born in Icicle.
Despite possessing enormous strength, he was still one who would choose peace over all else. How ironic. He wanted to join SOLDIER, but will not resort to fighting as far as possible? I was kind of wondering why he decided to scare off two of those wolf-monsters rather than kill them, which was the popular choice. The Turk accompanying him killed those that were after him/her. But not Zack. No, never Zack.
I wonder what he did during the Wutai war. Sephiroth would know.
It didn't leave him a changed man, apparently.
It's just so damned hard to get someone like him down, I fully understand why Cloud chose to impersonate Zack. He was not only his best friend and saviour, he was everything more.
Of course it was Zack.
He had to live his future for him, anyway.
For so long, Zack's efforts were all for Cloud. If he didn't do something with that opportunity handed to him by sheer luck, he would live with remorse and bitter regret. I'm sure. That's if he lives in the first place.
That was it. One more thing that totally broke him. Zack's spirit lived in Cloud, except that it went totally wrong. I think Aeris could see that rather easily. Tifa was troubled, but she didn't have that courage to voice out. Cloud, was living somewhere in the deep recesses of his own mind, and let Zack take over. He had spent too much time with him to know him well, inside out. He had sinned so much, and had decided to repay for his mistakes, though accidental, entirely by walking away, seeking escapism.
Zack had been such a friend to him, and Cloud knew it too.
But that was no way to repay a friend.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
post-exam celebrations
I think I have just survived exams. I think I did. Hmm, I did.
Whoot.
Of course that doesn't mean anything regarding surviving the time after exams. Which is the "getting-back-the-papers" part. Let's just say that I don't want to see some of those papers ever again in this lifetime. Unfortunately, nobody's willing to grant me that wish.
We must have been so used to failing tests, worksheets, assignment and the like that we simply don't feel anything much about examinations anymore. Besides, I know very well that my school loves to set difficult papers. I assure myself that if I ever needed to take O levels, it won't be as hard as what we've been getting for our normal tests, no, examinations.
Numb towards failure. Cloud should take a leaf out of our books. Not that it's very useful though. But at least the world will have one less mental casualty to deal with.
The apathy to the exams is disturbing.
{Actually, most people are far from apathic. I've witnessed just how about 85% of my classmates evacuate the classroom right after the dismissal bells ring, just to get a couple minutes extra for revision. And not forgetting all the studying during classes as well. Mr Ng could try for a lifetime to just get their attention away form their textbooks. And I've noticed, it's usually the Biology textbook. I'd bet they've read both the O level textbook and the IP textbook. (of course most people like the O' level textbook more, unlike yours truly)}
Okay, let me rephrase that. My apathy towards exams is disturbing.
I've found myself not worrying if I do badly. I will feel rather frustrated (I mean I actually studied very hard for some subjects), but it's not the same feeling as that of previous years. For some subjects, I didn't even study much until a couple of days before the exams. Of course, there are others like Bio which I began about 3 weeks early. Other than bio, I haven't been doing much for revision. *feels guilty*
And to beat it all, I don't feel much difference coming back from school on the first day of exams, and on the last day of exams.
Lol, I don't even realise that it's the end of exams already. Now what should I do?
I thought I had a long list of post-exam activities? Manga-reading, anime-watching, language-learning, KH/FF-playing... I hope my memory comes back soon. I have to admit, exams did leave quite an imact on my brain, frying asides.
I thought I'm supposed to be clebrating right after exams. Which has passed. But something just has to crop up and damn, I can't walk. Can't even go shopping the way I wanted to. Sheesh. *pats knee* Just the right time to screw up, yea.
And besides, I'm going to meet my future employer ('s company) and fellow collegues in a couple of days. Just let them see me hobble my way in. Someone should get me a walking stick. Crutches are too conpicious.
And I never knew X-ray results take 2 weeks to analyse.
2 weeks.
Pretty amazing, no?
100th post. Cheers.
Whoot.
Of course that doesn't mean anything regarding surviving the time after exams. Which is the "getting-back-the-papers" part. Let's just say that I don't want to see some of those papers ever again in this lifetime. Unfortunately, nobody's willing to grant me that wish.
We must have been so used to failing tests, worksheets, assignment and the like that we simply don't feel anything much about examinations anymore. Besides, I know very well that my school loves to set difficult papers. I assure myself that if I ever needed to take O levels, it won't be as hard as what we've been getting for our normal tests, no, examinations.
Numb towards failure. Cloud should take a leaf out of our books. Not that it's very useful though. But at least the world will have one less mental casualty to deal with.
The apathy to the exams is disturbing.
{Actually, most people are far from apathic. I've witnessed just how about 85% of my classmates evacuate the classroom right after the dismissal bells ring, just to get a couple minutes extra for revision. And not forgetting all the studying during classes as well. Mr Ng could try for a lifetime to just get their attention away form their textbooks. And I've noticed, it's usually the Biology textbook. I'd bet they've read both the O level textbook and the IP textbook. (of course most people like the O' level textbook more, unlike yours truly)}
Okay, let me rephrase that. My apathy towards exams is disturbing.
I've found myself not worrying if I do badly. I will feel rather frustrated (I mean I actually studied very hard for some subjects), but it's not the same feeling as that of previous years. For some subjects, I didn't even study much until a couple of days before the exams. Of course, there are others like Bio which I began about 3 weeks early. Other than bio, I haven't been doing much for revision. *feels guilty*
And to beat it all, I don't feel much difference coming back from school on the first day of exams, and on the last day of exams.
Lol, I don't even realise that it's the end of exams already. Now what should I do?
I thought I had a long list of post-exam activities? Manga-reading, anime-watching, language-learning, KH/FF-playing... I hope my memory comes back soon. I have to admit, exams did leave quite an imact on my brain, frying asides.
I thought I'm supposed to be clebrating right after exams. Which has passed. But something just has to crop up and damn, I can't walk. Can't even go shopping the way I wanted to. Sheesh. *pats knee* Just the right time to screw up, yea.
And besides, I'm going to meet my future employer ('s company) and fellow collegues in a couple of days. Just let them see me hobble my way in. Someone should get me a walking stick. Crutches are too conpicious.
And I never knew X-ray results take 2 weeks to analyse.
2 weeks.
Pretty amazing, no?
100th post. Cheers.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Six more to go...
I know it's exams. I know nobody will be hanging around here for a while. I know.
But I just need to get things of my chest. Actually, it's to get it out of my brain.
I seriously don't know why I have the strongest inclination to slack right during this crucial war period. I don't know about this.
And the fact remains that I have not, contrary to popular belief, finished all my revision and is done with memorising every speck of detail in Social Studies, Biology and Chemistry. Sheesh, even the past year test papers are not done yet.
Chinese tommorrow, and I will be one of those casualties. For sure. Hopefully, I won't be too far dead. I still have maths and SS in the not-so-distant future.
I must get through this alive.
BTW, 99th post. Next one'll be a hundred! And a reason to celebrate.
But I just need to get things of my chest. Actually, it's to get it out of my brain.
I seriously don't know why I have the strongest inclination to slack right during this crucial war period. I don't know about this.
And the fact remains that I have not, contrary to popular belief, finished all my revision and is done with memorising every speck of detail in Social Studies, Biology and Chemistry. Sheesh, even the past year test papers are not done yet.
Chinese tommorrow, and I will be one of those casualties. For sure. Hopefully, I won't be too far dead. I still have maths and SS in the not-so-distant future.
I must get through this alive.
BTW, 99th post. Next one'll be a hundred! And a reason to celebrate.
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