one of the things that really can't do

This probably doesn't have that much to do with me, but I'd have to say it anyway.

Jurong is NOT an ulu place! Stop saying it as though it exists somewhere on an offshore island that is located 25km away from the mainland. It is not a God-forsaken place in the middle of nowhere. Even Jurong Island isn't that ulu.

If you haven't noticed, there are currently 4 MRT stations situated in Jurong alone. In a few more years, that would increase to 6. In other words, if you still have not taken some part of your precious time to come to realise, that is about one-fifth of the number of stations on the East-West line.

It can't be that ulu when there're dozens of bus services operating here and 6 MRT stations and with free bus shuttling services from various places to IMM and a Regional Library that has just been renovated. And one of the last functional ice-skating rinks.

Hm... that was the reason in the first place, right?

Well, nobody asked anyone to go skating at such an ulu place. It's not anyone's fault that the ice-skating rink is located at such an ulu place, isn't it? It's just located there.

Oh, and I've never thought people would say that JE entertainment centre is a huge place. It's an old, old building that has lost part of its liveliness quite a long time ago. I believe the Library is slightly bigger though.

And keep your facts clear: Jurong big enough for people to find purpose in seperating Jurong East and Jurong West. (Big enough on an island this size, at any rate) Do not ever try saying things like JE Entertainment Centre is near Boon Lay and such. I will be very very seriously amused.

Yup, it's home to alot of factories. Yes, there's an extension leading to an offshore island nearby. Yes, there are wharfs nearby as well. No, the millitary being situated here doesn't count at all right? Well, what about this certain number of people living here? It's been so many years since the first estates have been built.

Argh, I have had enough of these "Jurong is ulu" talk. Yew Tee and Yishun are as ulu to me as Jurong to you.

Holiday theft

No matter how much it seems like I've abandoned this place, I haven't.

All I need is a little time, a little purpose, a little inspiration, and a little management.

Unfortunately, holidays have this querk, which is to say, at least one of these are always absent at any one time. Holidaying, I suppose.

They say we have nothing but time on our hands during the holidays, but surely that must be wrong, somehow. It slips away just like water through my fingers.

Purpose? Mine has been a little misguided as of late.

Inspiration. I have good news for this.

Management, the shadow that never fails to let me down at the most important of moments. You'll know why if you look around a bit.

But I believe things are going to take a turn pretty soon. Well, I shall stick around to find out, I guess.

random reminder

Hell, I nearly forgot about this but...

... isn't today KHII's release date? o.O

Seph with three wings. Whee.

EDIT: If neither my eyes nor fellow poster has cheated me, then I think I might have seen something I did not expect at all.

Tifa is in KH2. o-o

KH2 is going to turn into an FF universe very soon.

they don't happen like that

I seem to be on an MRT bad luck streak today.

To sum it up, stepping out of my house a few minutes later than planned has caused me to:

i) miss a train at Boon Lay
ii) meet a Do Not Board train right after
iii) wait anxiously for the next train after that
iv) miss the train at Jurong East when I switched lines
v) meet a Do Not Board train after that
vi) wait another 4 minutes for the next train

And to think all I wanted to do was to get from Boon Lay to Woodlands. For School Project meeting, no less.

Besides, I enncountered my first "This train has been delayed due to a train fault" message upon travelling back. That doesn't happen everyday.

I think I just wasted today away. I haven't been in the mood to do anything for the entire day, except to buy something for myself. Never thought I'd have a spending money type of mood. But then again, there's this voice that never fails to nag at me that spending money is No Good. And it comes a full circle and I don't buy anything.

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

I've got to get down to doing something more constructive. (Doesn't that sound familiar? I think I might have said this during the past holidays as well o-o. )

At least I've learnt to wake up earlier. "Sleeping till 11" is not on my list of scheduled things to do anymore. :)

celebrating the joy of giving... money away

Waking up early proves to be much better on the brain and mood.

At least it makes me happy to note that breakfast doesn't end at the time when lunch is supposed to start.

Happier still is when I am able to turn on the computer and realise that it isn't afternoon yet.

It makes me alightly more motivated to do my homework, actually. Though nothing in that area has been done as of yet. But thank anime for showing early in the morning. It's about the only thing that can get me out of bed these days.

Not that you don't know already.

But I've seen this particular advertisement floating around on Channel 56, and according to it, Naruto's going to be shown next year. Yes. I'm just hoping that it's not going to be in the 6 pm slot. I hardly make it home in time for those. And more than a hundred episodes to watch... I've got a feeling that I'd be giving up halfway. @_@

And talk about next year, I think I'll need to start going on a saving spree soon. My previous personal save money campaign doesn't seem to be enough to hold out for next year. KHII and DoC are coming. Well, actually KHII is scheduled to be released next Thursday in Japan. And we're all promised much more excitement than the previous one. More Leon and Cloud comradeship (or so it seems) and even Cloud and Sephiroth action. The two of them are inseparable, aren't they?

Besides, we all get more of those rainbow sparks we saw in AC. Whee.

DoC promises more revelation of Vinny's past, and (as I'm hoping) Seph's and Lucrecia's. I haven't been following news for ages, but I've seen the recent PV; it left me a little lost. And I'm starting to see the family resemblance between Sephiroth and his mother... ... I mean Lucrecia.

DoC also gives me the impression that Vincent's closest friends are Yuffie and Cid. Strange how that sounds like something from fanon.

As if that's not enough, someone please update me on the FFXII side of the news. I'm feeling the money fall out of my pocket already. >_>

So as we all know very well by now, the moral of the story is, SE sure knows how to get all the fans' money. Be a fan only after much caution and thought.

...And of course, with much money. XD

the days that seem so far away

ACF is getting a little on the lonely side, because the older members have sort of left (or at least made themselves relatively unknown) or are visiting less and less frequently.

It's not that I don't like the new members. They're not bad, but seeing too many newbies can drive anyone nuts. The recent influx of members in the past few months don't really seem to take note of the rules, or etiquette for that matter. The older days were better because we had hardcore discussions going on everywhere. Now that most people know what's going on in AC, the new members have "taken over", in a sense.

I'm not mentioning exact names, but some places have been overridden with them, and it gets more and more out of point. It's so hard to keep up now.

I like the way things were one year ago.

Well, when it was getting rather empty over at ZR, something sparked yesterday and it grew about two pages in one day. Lots of celebrations are being held there, since we've officially crossed the 1000th post mark. Zack deserves recognition, doesn't he? ;)

It's also great to see that the SC club has revived, somewhat. There's no better description of its current state than



BL dramas are OMGWTFBBQ. They bring Mori/Saku to a whole new level.

Which is in favour of SC.

On another note, SGCafe is thronged(?) with people. We always break records when it comes to the nights of importantant events; everyone's busy posting photos or waiting for them to be uploaded. I haven't gone there today, but last night (or rather, this morning) we broke the record, yet again. As expected.

falling out of place

Meh. Am moody now.

When everything starts to go wrong, I get moody.

First sleep, then piano schedule, then the practices that go horribly wrong, then complications for BEL meeting, then my one and only radio is going cranky, probably due to my own CD burner (not such a long story, but I don't want to think about it), and then even my comp has to go against me. Luckily the Internet connection fixed itself rather quickly. At least my comp is smart to some extent.

Mrrrw.

I love my comp, but it can still get irritating at times. Oh well, at least it has character. It's just about as stubborn as I am at times... and thank goodness it can also recover after getting sick. My comp and its immunity system. Wait till I write about computers having their white blood cells, the lymphocytes, monocytes, and the macrophages.

Too bad CD burners and radios don't seem to have them. There's still a lot to research on.

Arrgh... shall just face up to tomorrow. Will be extremely glad after I live through it. Brooding is getting to me.

the stretch between now and Saturday

I've gotten my early Christmas present, and it didn't even need to go through the whole process of getting wrapped and sitting under a tree, the tree, whatever.

Now I'm all set for Saturday.

I think.

I'm just not very used to the much larger screen as compared the the old one. Strange, but I've gotten quite attached to the old Powershot A20 even whilst complaining about its bulk and its apparent forever-battery-hungry state. The new cam is much lighter, and certainly won't kill me due to the weight of eight batteries.

One thing to note, though, is that it doesn't operate that well under low light conditions. An observation of mine, within the first day of acquaintance. At least it didn't work as well when I tried it last night, as compared to this afternoon.

I haven't tried transferring the photos over to the comp yet, but I'm hoping that the quality promised is the quality served. The old A20 wasn't that bad, considering that it's only a 2.1 Megapixel. Long ago in history, but its photos are of a rather acceptable quality. Just look a one of the old photos. Pretty nice on my desktop screen, too.

Less than a week to go till Satuarday, but I'm sincerely hoping that times crawls its way there. Have to finish start on my homework this week.

I should.

In fact, I must.

I do have a conscience that likes to make itself known. Yup, well-known to half the world. Someday.

It's still nagging at me to do something about that baffling Chemistry task which requires us to do Bio assignment-like research. But I've heard from laoba that it isn't that bad. She knows, because she's started on it.

Oh woe is me.

Asides from that SIA task, there's still the currently untouched Chemistry worksheet and Maths self-study, which will no doubt take up a lot my time. I'm also planning to write the Commonwealth essay, even if the LA department didn't instruct us oh-so-nicely to complete it, like they have in the past two years.

But somehow, nothing has come to me thus far, and I'm getting rather frustrated because I still have not much idea of what to write. Usually (i.e. in the past two EOY holidays), I will have a rough plan of the story by now, and will be currently in a state of writing the essay out. I will either start from the ending (like in Sec 1-2) or the beginning (like in Sec 2-3). A couple more drafts later, and it's done.

This year things seem different. Not much idea, just a very vague sense.

Well I'm thinking maybe the reason why it seems harder to begin is because I'm starting from the middle this time. No idea, really. Just someting new I ought to try out, since I've tried both from the beginning and the end.

Oh woe is me.

Euphimism

I've been finding lack of things to blog. Oh wow.

At least even with the lack of things happening around here, there's still fanfiction to read.

I've gone back to reading Bound, because there simply wasn't anymore interesting fics crossing my path in the recent days. That doesn't mean that it's bad, it's just very long. Very long. If she's ever going to finish this long story, it's certainly going to break Twig's record. Well, we'll talk more about that once she finishes the story. If she finishes. Trilogies were never meant to be short, and I can hardly believe that all I've been seeing is only the tip of the iceberg, except that the sea level is lower over here. Just slightly.

Bound's going to keep me rather busy for a while, but the vengeful homework souls are still refusing to give up, nagging at the back of my mind till I hand them some sort of excuse, or a friendly pat of acknowledgement.

Not that I'm feeling amiable towards homework.

No, it's just to keep it quiet over there in my brain for a while. I seem to have a very loud conscience. Or maybe it's just vocal.

Lol, euphimism.

The tagboard's down at the moment, and I can hardly find anyone online. Tis getting a little lonely around here. Shall start finding things to amuse myself.

six random numbers mashed together

It seems like AC has gained some sort of silent fame over the past few months.

You don't see or hear any outright media publicity, but start walking around the more promising places around here and you would be amazed at just how many shops decide to show AC. In public. No kidding.

I name three off the list, with some help from erzi: MMM,IMM and now Concourse. Had the shop at Concourse shown AC a couple of weeks earlier, I probably would have seen it. But of course, it's a good thing that I didn't see it, otherwise it would have revived my withdrawl symptoms. Bishie dosage, no matter how small, is certainly not good in such situations.

Besides, it's fair enough that I got a tiny dosage yesterday. If only I had an extra 70 dollars, the ability to understand Japanese, and the time to finish Final Mix. I hear Showdown of Fate calling out to me. It's time I got some pills to stop the flow of all the nonsense in my head.

But at least now I know that Final Mix does exist in Singapore. Just that it's not for people like me.

That asides, I am greatly amused by the number of people whom I've noticed have easy-to-remember user ID numbers and the like. It's either that, or that I only remember seeing those because they are easy to remember. If you ask me about mine, I'll just say that it took me one afternoon to remember the numbers... in the wrong order. Oh well.

I'll keep trying.

The inspiration river has been running rather dry lately. I'm suspecting it may even be freezing over. I blame it on the weather. The cold can get to the brain, too.

And it's not fair that inspiration has learned to travel as well, since I've found out that being there doesn't mean that it will stay there.

And no, mental chains don't work. Same thing with insults and threats.

unjustly...pointlessness

The Chrno Crusade anime does not do the orignal story justice!

Terribly disappointing...

to do all that to Rosetta, Chrno, Joshua, Remington and Aion!

I probably sound like I'm ranting incoherently, but really...!

Today was the last episode even though I remember checking the tv guide, which said the last episode is tomorrow. But it also means that my calculations were correct; I got back from WEP just in time to watch the last episode (and to feel disappointed). I think I finally understand why there are so little Joshua and Satella fans.

Even though Rosetta had an early death, she and Chrno had a reasonable amount of screentime. And done quite a bit of laudable things. Azmaria is going to feel so lonely from now onwards. >.<

Terribly disappointing...

*sticks to the manga- my choice!

ambivalence for tommorrow

In advance, but I think I'm pretty sure what I'd be feeling this time tommorrow.

Somewhat looking forward to the steamboat dinner. Just not wondering what will happen after that.

one year later, I'm still a little girl

I had thought of trying something out. And just look at this.

Your Birthdate: August 19

You are resilient, and no doubt your resilience has already been tested. You've had some difficult experiences in your life, but you are wise from them. Having had to grow up quickly, you tend to discount the advice of others. You tend to be a loner, having learned that the only person you can depend on is yourself. Your strength: Well developed stability and confidence Your weakness: Suspicion of others Your power color: Eggplant Your power symbol: Spade Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

This is getting somewhat disturbing. Can this thing read minds or something? o-O

Oh well, on another note, WEP is ending in three days, and it is overlapping the WCG! Not that I'm planning to attend the WCG, but I want to head over to Suntec just to look. It's not everyday that something like that is held in Singapore.

Anyway, I've learnt to appreciate my precious half to one and a half hours of Internet everyday. And I think I'll have to write shorter entries just to cater to this type of lifestyle. Congrats to me, because I've gone from sleeping on buses to sleeping on trains. It's a higher skill to sleep on trains, you know. ;)

I've also found out that it's good to keep the childish side of your brain. Just note though, 45% is enough. you don't have to preserve all your childishness. It's what delivers your creativity and humour. Without it, life is going to be boring. With too much of it, there's not much reasoning going on in that head anymore.

Don't ask me what this has got to with WEP, because I do not know any more than you do. I only keep noticing why we are "xiao mei mei"s and why they aren't.

Lol. New nickname. Xiao mei mei!

Never saw myself so young til now. Makes me realise a lot of things, when coupled with WEP.

Maybe that's the real rationale behind it.

things to consider

I nabbed this from Bao.

Your Birthdate: April 1

You are a natural born leader, even if those leadership talents haven't been developed yet. You have the power and self confidence to succeed in life, and your power grows daily. Besides power, you also have a great deal of creativity that enables you to innovate instead of fail. You are a visionary, seeing the big picture instead of all of the trivial little details. Your strength: Your supreme genius Your weakness: Your inappropriate sensitivity Your power color: Gold Your power symbol: Star Your power month: January

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

And why does this sound so similar to what I've previously read about Arieses in general? o-O

getting around to doing things

I've finally created an LJ account. It seems that I finally gave in to temptation. lol.

I've been eyeing the LJ communities, fellow LJ friends, LJ cuts, memes, and icons for a long long while. Things you can do on LJ but not on blogger. But after traversing around the LJ compound, I find that Blogger seems easier to configure, and not as overwhelming. I love both, but in different ways. At least there still exists my TagBoard over here. ^-^

It's certainly not like I'm going to abandon this place.

The thing is, what sparked me off to investigate LJ further are the problems that keep surfacing here. Even now, there's something weird bugging me, because either my computer has something against blogger, or IE does. IE keeps shutting down whenever I step into "xxx.blogspot.com" and it happens for almost all the blogspot links I have. Especially mine.

Oh well.

At least there's a 1 in ?? chance that it works. Which is how I post comments on the tagboard. I can also try to post before IE shuts down, though that's a little more difficult. I'm thinking that it has something to do with the pop-ups that keep appearing.

If anyone can shine some light on this problem, I'd be happy to listen to what you have to say. These irritating technical problems happen to me all the time. I seem to be a trouble-magnet on the net. I've just got over the posting problems at ACF, and now this. o-O

I should be on my way to enjoy the weekend. Til later.

today is typo day

It's just one of those "I'm disorientated, brain currently not in use" days. Thank goodness I didn't need to do much typing today.

The work got more physical this time. Just let me do this sum before I explain what I've been doing for 6-7 hours.

31 x 4 + 73 x 4 x 2 = 708?!

Dear me. I've been stamping 708 pages of drawings today. @_@ I wonder whether I'll get muscle aches tommorrow. <_<

But the good things about WEP is that I get a place with good food. My mum claims that I've been advertising the food everyday after I get back home from work. Heh, I'll get around to writing a list of recommendations once this is over. Then I'll find one day to go out with everyone for a feast. ^-^

As for feelings about WEP...

I was kinda right. It took four days to get over the lack of anime and such. At least I no longer find it so hard to stare right at the clock when it reads anything past 6pm. And I didn't use the time I had free to slack, even when I had made slacking preparations beforehand. Seeing everyone else busy makes you kind of guilty, I guess.

I didn't manage to find book 8. The stupidest thing is that where I once would do anything to get my hands on 7, I decided that 8 was more important today. I saw 7, but I didn't buy it. Money is saved for 8. So no distraction for the time being.

I still miss everyone overseas.

the missing pieces

Truth to be told, WEP is alright.

But due to my obsession over CC coupled with the Lack-of-speaking-to-friends syndrome, is becoming rather bad. I haven’t had a heart to heart rant over issues for a long while. Besides, everyone seems to be gone, save for mat. *sends mat a rabbit-shaped cookie*

After three days of wondering what this feeling is, I’ve finally drawn an analogy.

WEP is like Maple.

Maple is like an unfated relationship. It starts off good, only after overcoming some sort of mental barrier and physical barrier (i.e. client and patch probs). In fact, I was a bit skeptical at first, but I soon took a liking to it. It continues well, with some minor problems in between, nothing that couldn’t be solved within a couple of days.

But soon after, something interferes, and this relationship gets broken up. I don’t know what went wrong (and I still don’t) and nothing I did helped. Nothing others suggested helped, either. But I still have the obsession and it goes on for four more days before I got over it. Even then, there still exists that strange feeling of emptiness and something that I suspect is like withdrawal. Hm.

WEP is similar, because I’ve recognized that feeling as the empty and withdrawal combination.

Empty, because I’m missing so many people and so many things right now in my life. I don’t even have the time to surf the net or practice the piano as I used to. I want to find someone familiar to talk to, but there aren’t any most of the time.

There’s so much temptation going on. I can use the computer and the Internet, but I clearly remember instructions mentioning something about staying away from the Internet, because it is not part of work. One thing down that I can do.

Only now do I realize how much I need my songs and playlist when I’m in a place where work is supposed to be done seriously. No wonder I’ve always needed music around whenever there was homework to do. Especially stressing thing like Bio.

Besides, I am seriously deprived of talk. I can’t even talk to myself without being heard. And I can’t stop myself from thinking of CC and such even during work. Which makes it the painful experience it is now. At 6pm, my brain just shrieks “I’m supposed to be at home!”. And I usually leave the area after 6. These are the components of withdrawal. I just need something to distract me…

Remind me again why we have such bad pay?

Oh well, at least the experience with the people are good. I have been enjoying the bit about the office society. We even got them to pay for our lunch for the first day, and drinks on the second, and lunch again on the third. I’m getting more and more guilty by the day.

So after the skeptical feeling about WEP, it proceeded as it should, until obsession quirks kicked into action, which was rather quick. And that was probably when I began to act weird and get sad over WEP. In addition to the obsession quirks, there’s also the fact that I didn’t speak to any of my friends for four to five days…. And missed CC for five days… missed laoba for a week… and have not been able to rant properly for a long time.

The thing different about this is that it may take quite a few days to get over all the “missing”. It’s a temporary breakup with my liketodos. I’ve got nobody I can bother with my ranting, anyway. Don’t think rants are able to travel to places without Internet access. Air fares must be stunning.

Since I can’t do anything about WEP or letting off from work at a time where I’ll be able to reach home at 6, I’ll just have to live with it. It shouldn’t be that hard, actually. It’s just a thing about initial stages. You know, that it’s hard to get used to the new way of life during this time.

I hope I’ll be able to do something new, because I’m going to get nightmares of Excel if this continues any longer. In the matter of three days, I’ve gained approximately 20 hours of Excel experience, probably slightly lesser than that.

And I have to say, I hate formatting things with passion. Things like rearranging stuff in tables in Microsoft Word are tedious. It has always been like that. Because Word’s tables are a bunch of nasty guys which don’t do what they are told to.

Still, there are still 7 more days of WEP, and 2 more to the weekend. I don’t know what to do about the pictures and the report, but I’m not looking forward to the photo taking parts. I just want the chance to slack again.

So many things I want to do, but now certainly no time to do them. At least I’ll learn to love school after this.

the proper dosage

I have so many things to learn, and one of them is that life always comes in bite-sized cookies.

You can never put too much of it in your mouth, because it just happens to be that irritating size where you just can't. One at a time fits the best, though.

I used to think that getting a job was a good idea, but now, I begin to realise how much I'll lose with just that change.

More gains, more losses.

Simultaneously.

And it takes a while to get used to the way that certain type of cookie tastes. I know some are sweet, others chunky, some more that know how to melt in your mouth.

I try to understand what it means by getting mature and not whine about everything you're not happy with, but it also takes real experience to do so.

I'll have to learn to live with the two hours of life I'm going to get everyday in the future. Far, I know, but I'm sorry that I need more time and preparation. I really am.

Besides, I want to know how some people can live so well even with that two hours (or so) of life supplied constantly, excluding weekends.

No service during weekends, so you don't need to bother about where's all your life draining to, or how fair it is in exchange for money.

So we live 2 days out of 7, which may not be a bad thing, but unfortunately I see it as one.

They say "quality over quantity" and before I know it, I really wish for someone to demonstrate how this is possible in the situation called living with worth.

I never let this issue go, but I know people who seem wise to me, and it's not even like they know it. I wish I'd stop talking about this matter, and you probably do too.

I never fail to be amazed by how fulfilling life can get, when I look at it sitting down, through something called a computer screen. That is to say, as I remind you, that the life in question is not mine. But no doubt I hope that I do learn something, and in turn, help to improve mine.

Who knows? It may work.

still hanging around

I think I'm not supposed to be here, but oh well.

I have to wake up early tommorrow, because of WEP, which also translates to "2 weeks of no sleep". I sort of believe that WEP will force me to give up my 1:30am sleeping schedule, simply because it will otherwise blackmail me with sanity. Or I'll just get eye bags again. Hmph.

WEP also means that I'll not be around all day, until I get home sometime in the evening, or at night. And I'll miss ten consecutive episodes of Chrno Crusade.

No fair.

Ah... and there's also the whole report thing. Pictures, pictures... sure I'll deliver them.

I worry whether I'll have the time to eat, since well, I take a long time to eat. Not a very handy skill to have at the moment. T_T

An overall whiny, brooding post. Haven't been feeling in a good mood lately. I'll just sleep and hope for some good cheer tommorrow morning. (like having a good dream tonight... ^-^)

Sorry, I quote from Soubi, but

Training begins now

.

Meme

I steal this meme from Mat, though I wonder why so few memes ever come this way.


1.Whose picture is it that you keep in your wallet?

Interestingly, nobody's. Not even my EZlink card is in there. So... unless you want to count the President's picture on the money notes, no one.

2. What time do you usually go to bed?

With school, preferably 2200-2230hrs. For holidays, 0130 seems pretty frequent. That's just not supposed to become a known fact.

3. What was the last thing you did before filling this survey?

Burned a CD containing Chrno Crusade episodes 5-8. (amah, where are the rest? 9_9)

4. Who are the people you always meet the most?

Family (only my mother, in this case.) Otherwise, classmates.

6. What's on your mind right now?

How shitty the situation is because WEP starts tommorrow and my parents keep on fussing over that fact. Also wondering about coping with the lonliness because people are going/have gone overseas for EOY programs, which leave my friend community rather empty.

8. With whom do you wanna be to have fun?

Do I want to know what this question is asking about? (Though I'm sure I know pretty well who wants to have fun with me o-o)

9. What movie do u wanna watch now?

Not a movie fanatic.

10. When was the last time you went out?

About an hour ago. For lunch and to buy stationery.

11. Who do you hate the most for now?

Tell me about the hating process.

12. When was the first time you slept alone?

So long ago I have no idea when. Well, probably when I was 11, because that's when I got my own room.

13. What do you wanna do for now?

Escape from the fact that WEP starts tommorrow and I do not look forward to starving for two weeks.

14. What do you do everyday besides eat and sleep?

Visit the net-dom. I try to do that everyday. Plus paying a mental visit to where my bishies reside. (Yes, I do that everyday. I am serious.) And no, reading books and studying are not everyday activities for me. Everything else are done on an irregular basis.

15. What could piss you of?

Being maligned. (I hate this with passion.)
Not getting to do what I really want to do.
Getting fussed over like a little kid.
Being told rudely that something I did or said is wrong.
Very noisy places. And people.
Some of the things mentioned on the floating column on the right side of this page.

16. are you an animal lover?

Sure thing. You don't know me if you don't know that I am an animal lover.

17. Colors that make you happy?

Lots. But more importantly, it's what these colours make up that make me happy.

18. Most fav thing in your room?

Too many to mention. My room is my treasure trove, and all my stuff are kept here. This is the equivalent of asking me what is my favourite thing. I like my computer (or rather, what it does for me) but I have to good reason to believe that it hates me. Of course, there's Snowy and all my favourite dogs. ^-^

19. What was the last thing you bought for your room?

Bought for my room? If this is talking about decoration, then I think it's my BC poster, though I bought that in March, after considering for 2-3 months.

20. Any instruments in your room?

None. Unless you want to count the recorder that I used during the primary school days. I think still remember Aura Lee.

21. Can you cook?

You won't want to find out.

22. Miss someone?

Laoba! And now erzi. *sniff* I want them to come back soon. I send love to you all!

23. Plan to buy something?

Refer to wishlist.

24. Are you satisfied with your life now?

Hell no.

25. Do you like seafood?

Hey, I like seafood. But too bad I'm allergic to prawns.

26. Breakfast or dinner?

Weekend breakfast, weekday dinner. ;) Though I would choose luch if there were such a choice.

27. What do you usually eat for breakfast?

Bread. Almost everyday.

28. Did you eat breakfast today?

Yes, and immediately followed by lunch.

29. Do you recycle?

It's my responsibility, but I wish there was a recycle bin here near my house so I won't have to lug things to the school to recycle.

30. Do you have a laptop?

Ask me that 5 years later.

31. What's your favorite fast food?

Swensens or Mos's fries.

32. Cats or dogs?

Dogs. Of course.

33. Salty or sweet?

Sweet.

34. City or country?

The best would be country with a good Internet access.

35. How do you prefer to spend your holiday?

With being able to do everything that I want to which I hadn't had the time during school days. Just my luck that Maple isn't working for me anymore.

36. Is kissing normal for your age?

That would depend on the person you ask this question to.

37. Are you athletic?

6 years ago, maybe.

38. Do you swear?

Refer to past blog histories.

39. Would you ditch your friends for a date?

Since when would I face such a situation? Well, it depends on who the date is.

40. Do you have your own cell phone?

Yes, but it's not with me. I use my brother's phone. (FYI: My bro uses my mother's phone, and my mum uses mine. Strange I know.)

41.what do you wear to bed?

I wear the same few sets of clothes to bed, which I supposedly labelled "pajamas", but do not resemble "pajamas" one bit.

42. Ever had a crush on a teacher?

Maybe sometime long ago in history. Not telling, because I can't remember.

43. Coke or pepsi?

Coke? I don't drink cold drinks often.

44. Sugar or spice?

Sugar... because they give sugar highs... which in turn are essential for fangirls to work properly.

46. Do you like to read for pleasure?

I haven't read a book since June... or maybe TBD. But I love reading proper fanfiction.

47. Do you care about getting good grades?

To answer this truthfully, I'd say yes. Because the perfectionist in me keeps nagging about it.

48.Have u ever fallen sleep in class?

Probably. But I usually try to sleep before class or during the bus journey home. I need to listen during class, no matter how boring it is, but whether anything goes into my brain is another matter.

51. Do your parents give you enough privacy?

I suppose so. More than most, at any rate.

52. Do your parents trust you?

I think they do. Or I hope they do.

On second thought, maybe not.

53. Would you trade places (in life) with your best friends?

No, I like it the way it is, now. Even though I said I hate life. But I think I would hate life more after trading.

54.Does your best friend get on your nerves?

Certainly not... but maybe there are special occassions. (I suppose even I get on people's nerves sometimes.)

55. Do you tell your mom everything?

Not everything, but most. (Thing like bishie obsessions should be kept secret as far as possible, unless I want to land myself in some kind of mental hospital. Along with other people.)

I'll never lose faith

I post this because I feel the absolute need to rant.

Gackt is not going to take over Sephiroth's position!

I simply will not accept that as any fact at all, even if it's going to be the truth.

Yes, I speculate, but the similarities between that costume of his and Sephiroth's are absolutely, downright offending.

I link, link , and link, and refuse to find this good news.

Maybe I'm being too serious about this matter, but really, since when has SE decided that their going to do things according to the market?

I want back the quality that was of the old games. Not just something that sells, I want something that's good. Something tells me that AC was something to get them money, anyways. Something to cover up the mistake that was TSW years ago.

I don't find this funny. But maybe I just need to cool it.

Hopefully, Project_G is not taking over Sephiroth's position. No one will, for a long while yet, and especially not Gackt.

Fullstop.

inspiration draw out

I've been lacking a lot of inspiration lately. Where exactly is the inspiration source when you need it?

And I suppose it's normal to receive sudden bouts of inspiration at 1am in the morning, or later.

Or so I've heard.

And I find it strange that there so much difficulty in me publishing or writing any bit of drabble I actually have stuck in my head because I find it embarrassing to no end.

I keep thinking of the good works I've come across before, and that never fails to make me stop in my tracks and think, what am I doing?

I'd readily bet that that's the perfectionist in me speaking.

Right now, I think I'm in need of another entity to counter that unwelcomed voice. Why do I always feel embarrassed to do things simply because I know that I'll never be the best? People are supposed to have freedom, right? Besides, I know I can be better than some others I know of.

But when that perfectionist speaks, all else is forgotten.

I need to overcome this.

To some people, drabbles and witty comments are as easy as me churning out blog entries.

Hah. Of course I know such people.

And it doesn't help the situation.

warning: writing in fangirl mode

I seem to be spending more and more money lately. Just look, yet one more off the wishlist. Lol.

And I have to say, Your Eyes Only is a book with really prettiful pictures. But unfortunately, it didn't have all the pictures that I liked. But it had its share of nice pictures. I really want a big and clear version of the Loveless book 5 content page illustration. Never thought this would come from me, but Seimei deserves more fame. No matter how evil he is. People like evil characters too, you know.

Waha. Talking about evil characters. (This is going to be followed up with a severe case of fangirlitis, so beware.)

Damnit, I was not supposed to start liking yet another blond guy!

Ohnonononono. It was not supposed to happen, but it did! Which is utterly ridiculous, in my opinion. I thought I fell out of that cycle long ago?

Oh, and I think I've found out exactly why Josh has such a small fanbase. Helloo? It's the anime. The Chrno Crusade anime just ruins his reputation. Listen to my advice, and read the manga instead.

Listen to my advice, okay?!

No cheating.

But at least, even with this new obsession, I am still loyal to Cloud, Zack and Sephiroth. <33 It will take a lot more to change that fact. <33 So there.

This viscious(sp? since when have I become unsure of word spellings?) cycle of the discovery of more and more favourite fandoms is really getting out of hand.

I'll name some off the list. And bear in mind, it's only this year, from june onwards.

We have: Wolf's Rain, Death Note, Naruto, Loveless, and now Chrno Crusade. And of course my everlasting love for FFVII. =^-^= (I did put a warning regarding fangirl!mode) And something tells me that there'll be more coming right up.

Lol, like getting infected with something that comes from xiyu's direction. Certainly not the yaoi (I'm already a yaoi fan- to a certain extent), but the other stuff.

Rawr... *makes random fangirl noises*

I need book 7 and 8 of CC! The (not so) suspense is going to drive me nuts. Well, I sort of know the ending already, but something in me is screaming that is has to be different from the anime. *hopes that not that many people died in the end*

This is drax, currently in an unstoppable, incurable fangirlitis mode, signing off. I did mention a couple of times that this is fangirlitis mode, so please pardon the crankiness.

*makes more random fangirl noises*

change doesn't stay the same

And so The Blog undergoes slight layout revamping, excuse the fact that it took me hours to find out how to change the colour of the header box and to actually choose the colour. Photo done by me, took on the day before the Semakau trip (to test the camera). Photoshop also done by me, to make it more layout-friendly. Pardon the inevitable feeling of self-satisfaction, though I don't know what's that all about.

I seem to have forgotten to address something yesterday, so I'll just mention it here.

Theory Exam is over!!! Which means that there's no more exams til next year! ^o^
Ah.. it was average... just guess when I don't know what to do. At least I don't leave it blank, right? (like I always do for "zao ju"; thank goodness that's all in the past)

Amd talking about the past, it's really past. i was just browsing through the older posts I posted at the start of the year and it doesn't sound like me anymore. Have I actually changed that much over the course of a year? I admit, there are plenty of times where I'd go OOC because I'm in hyper mood. That happens. (refer to random radioactive squirrel post a couple weeks back) But even the serious posts don't sound like me.

Well, imagine what went through my mind when I looked at the old reviews for fanfiction two years back. That was not me, seriously.

Which brings me to a point. That's the reason why I wanted to have this blog, why I needed this. It's to serve as a record for all the things I've done, to keep track of my memories, to trace all the changes that I've gone through, and to store all my memos directed to my brain and my future self.

That's why blogging holds a sort of importance to me, because it's nice to know that part of your old self is somewhere. I don't have many photos of the past, but at least I have my words, the words I used to say but will probably not say again. Maybe that's why I'm beginning to like taking photos for occasions -- to serve as a memory, in a more solid form. Words aren't tangible, but certainly more real than mere thoughts.

Thoughts always slip away. There has been countless times where I just forget what I was thinking a moment before, what I had wanted to say to someone. I don't even remember dreams anymore. They just slip away though my fingers the moment I begin to wake up. The more I grasp at it, the more it is intent on getting away.

It's so dangerous to just rely on thoughts, I'd thought a blog would do more good. That way I'll remember things past, both the good and bad, silly and the lame, sad and the opressed times.

If you look carefully, I really am aiming to convert it to some sort of memory archive. I like to link to relavent pages, in hope to give my posts more substance, and that I'll still be able to check and remember these sites again in the future.

That's also why I like people commentng on the posts, because I'm sure whatever's said would still be there for a while yet. I'm not sure if the tagboard archives the exchanges.

lol, at this rate I'm going, I'm sounding so much like Ritsuka. But honestly, that was my intention from the start. Kinda late to be mentioning only now, on the 107th post. And no, I'm not suffering from whatever split personality thingus. I'm just recording what happens when you move from being a child to a more mature woman. I'd mentioned this before, that maturity is a very strange thing. You start thinking things differently, and suddenly everything seems so troubling. It'll do me good to remember who I was before that happened. Or if that isn't possible, just observe who this strange person was before it morphed into "me".

I thought I had started a little late, but it doesn't seem so. Just look at the first few posts. Ah well, I have the older stuff in my diaries since I was really a child.

And if you're wondering why blog and not diary, it's because I never find time for diaries nowadays. If I'm not wrong, I only have one or two entries for the entire Primary Six year. Besides, blogging is more fun... since you have your own site, your own comments, and the risk of getting discovered. Heh. Wonderful things, all in one package.

So keep anticipating the future, but try not to forget to look back.

I need an eye checkup

That's one more off the wishlist, and $60 off my savings.

I decided on the OST, even though I did see Your Eyes Only staring back right at me, tempting me to buy it.

And may I say, I'm just so blind.

Firstly, I looked at the rows and rows of CDs, and immediately start looking where I think the FF section should be. I see Chrono Trigger, and then look somewhere below to see Love Will Grow, and Celtic Moon, and FF Tactics, and a lot of FF IV, VI and I and IIs. First thing that comes to my mind is, so no FFVII again. By now I think I'm containing my disappointment rather well.

I begin browsing through the CDs behind them, just to make sure there's nothing that I'm looking for hidden behind them. After a while of confirmation, I look at the other places, and see Fruits Basket (minidisk lol), Escaflowne, Ghost in the Shell, Gundam Seed etc.

And then, I look back at the FF section again. And look up.

Stupid me.

I should have looked under New Releases.

T__T

Ha. So now I've found my AC OST. Which was sitting beside Chrono Trigger all along. I'm so blind.

If that's not enough to convince you, there's another example.

Less than half an hour later...

I'm looking for Your Eyes Only, Loveless manga, and Ultimania Omega all at once. At Kino, of course. I haven't had much luck with any of them, but I've noticed that DN 8 and Naruto 29 are out.

Next, I decide to look at where they used to place the Ultimania guides. Nothing. Just a lot of GS stuff, and new artbooks. WR is gone, however.

I glance at the shelf residing on the left, usually hosting a horde of artbooks. Saiyuki is still there, but the rest have changed.

So.

Taking a quick glace at those on display, I crouch down to scrutinise the last shelf, which is packed with a lot of books. I find one copy of WR (apparently they sold out), and get a little shock when I see the title Your Eyes Only on one of the books.

But. But but but...

It was one by CLAMP. Argh. Wrong. Try again.

And it is this time that I decide to look up, again, to see this purple hardcover, very large book titled Your Eyes Only on the shelf right above the one I was looking at previously. It was one of those on display, and it was the first one on the left, meaning that it was propped with its cover facing outside, with no other book to obscure it.

Not funny. I am so blind.

(Ah, but I had to leave it behind, because I was broke by then. Getting it would mean another $60 down the drain. )

Now convinced that I am indeed rather blind when it comes to searching for things, I look very hard for any sign of a very very very fat, silver cover book named FFVII Ultimania Omega which incidentally, should be hard to miss.

Nope, nothing. Zilch. Nil. Zero.

Oh well, I'll try again another time. At least I found the Japanese Loveless manga. The covers are much prettier on the actual thing than in scans.

stare hard enough, and you may see sth

The trip to Semakau was average. The trip itself being more interesting than Semakau. Or at least I found Semakau more interesting the first time I went there. This time, it was fine weather, but we didn't get to see anything, no pink lightning, no tornadoes, and not even a heron.

I've uploaded photos yet again, located here. I seem to have this obsession with taking photos for events nowadays.

It's such a nice feeling sitting in the rain when the rain in question is a light drizzle. Perfect weather, I tell you.

The only downside I can think of this trip is the headache that's been plaguing me since the time I got onto the boat. Argh. Damned headaches. Maybe when this headache is over I may talk more about blogging and bloggie... and throw in hamtaro-Zack in there too.

Well, I've figured that I planned to speak about the purpose of this blog on the 100th post, but I was too busy -celebrating- for the end of exams and such, and I'd probably won't get around to doing that until, well, sometime later. Sometimes I just need to remind myself why I'm doing this.

By the way, a note of advice: if you see post(s) that simply do not make any sense, it's probably meant for myself to read... or for someone who has enough free time to decipher what on Earth(or Venus) I'm trying to say. The only way to keep your thoughts private is to ensure that only you understand them. No doubt anyone can find your thoughts floating around on the Net easily. But understanding is another thing altogether, so make use of that. :P

Of course, it'll be fun to see who gets exactly what I'm ranting about. ;)

yet another rainy day

To reflect on the year past, so as to face the years ahead.

I think I know that.

But fact remains that I didn't like the past year, hadn't had a good year at all, so what does this speak of the coming years?

To look forward to better times, to work harder in achieving wishes, to close more than an eye when dealing with other people. For what purpose, it is not clear. For how long, it doesn't state. For what result, no one knows.

Or maybe I should say that I had some good times, though those were rather infrequent. There should be appreciation for quality time.

Or I should think, all the more better. Challenges should be met with a positive attitude.

Or I should sigh, there's surely going to be much better times ahead.

I would say that I've learnt a great deal in the past year, and I would almost daringly say that it's more than any year in my history. Even more than Primary Six, which I think was the year I changed the most.

Also, I think it's a valuable experience to always learn from those older than oneself. You'll usually find out more things that would probably benefit you too. Of course, there's just no lack of people out there who will keep on surprising you, as though it's their job.

What's more, I seem to know more and more University students. And people who are good at what they do.

Such motivation.

To leave a mark as that of rain, just to disappear in time. Isn't grasping at reason sometimes as difficult and catching the raindrops? We may not need this reason, but we hold on to its importance, existing somewhere.

To face the changes time brings, yet saddened by lost. Is it not like observing the sky change, taking on a different hue altogether? Don't we all look forward to the next time it'll be day, or night, the sunny day, or the rainy day?

But looking forward to it doesn't mean a thing at times. What matters is how you use the time before the desired happens. It's not worth it to be just wasted away. After all, if the process is important, then this process of waiting is just as important. Who can accurately tell you when something will happen? Believe it if you must, believe if it makes you feel better.

Believe it if you will, for the day doesn't wait for anyone, nor it is sure about anything other than itself.

Keep on doing what you have been doing, and it'll be okay.

It'll be okay.

unknown source

If something just needs to go wrong every other holiday season, then I say I must have done something really bad in my previous life, because karma's not coming back. Or maybe I've been offending people unknowingly, in this life.

Hm.

No use thinking about that though. Not that I'm usually this superstitious.

What's a bit more endurance?

I pick up lessons from weird places.

not suicidal

I wanted to post the warning labels I got from Mat, but blogger doesn't allow me to. Oh well. Just to let the entire world know that I'm a radioactive squrrel which can implode at any moment. Muahahaha! Radioactivity and self-destruction!

er hem. Cough.

I think that quiz totally detroyed the original mood I had, which means that this post has to change course now.

Er, just now.

Well, I'm pretty much left with nothing to say, other than

Fear Teh RaBId RaNDoM SELf-ImPLodInG rADioAcTivE sQUiRrEls!

Oh man, it really destroyed my mood. lmao.

harping on issues

This is going to be one hell of a rant.

Life's not fair, and never fair, but when will I learn to get over that fact?

It's been a rather long time.

But I still can't bear to witness a lifetime's worth of ambitions, effort, and breaking rules come to naught. Especially when you don't end up back at the starting point, ground zero. All you get is more shit.

Which, by the way, is worse than where you originally began.

In this way, I'm sure that kindness does not beget kindness.

Okay, okay. So now you think you know what I'm getting at and you're feeling worried for me and suspect my mental capabilities because I'm ranting about none other than Zack and the whole disastrous incident.

Actually, these kind of rants take place all the time, just not here and now. The usual venue is at Brain Building. Or maybe even with the other fans.

I don't know, but I just so affected by that guy, and I sometimes think it's ridiculous but no, knowing that doesn't help me on things.

His self-confidence bothers me. The friendship bothers me. And the whole starking contrast between him and most people bothers me a lot. Especially when you start thinking about how Cloud couldn't have done this, done that, if not for him. He wouldn't even be alive in the first place. Heh, if Zack was a little more self-centered I would think Cloud would be left in the basement of ShinRa mansion for the rest of his lifetime, which I don't think will be long. He would either totally break down, become another Sephiroth, or just die a torturous death.

But, unfortunately.

Zack is the kind guy, Cloud's best friend, Sephiroth's war buddy, and would do everything within his capabilities to help his friends. I have a feeling that this has something to do with his family relations. I've just found out that he ran away from home when he (I would bet) was barely a teen, wanting to join SOLDIER, to fulfil his ambition. He ran away, writing back only after he did it. He did it, in the end. This was the face of success, at that time. He faced it all, and he did it.

But I didn't think he would want to face the world by himself. That was where his friends came in. With family out of your life, you would have to expect that he regards friendship with some importance. On all those missions, he was both well-known because of his First Class rank, and his personality. Even the Turks could feel it resonating off him.

In fact, he overcame the problems concerning ShinRa, and looked at the rest of the world in the eye as well. He went as far as Icicle on one of his missions, and then we learnt something new; Zack had never seen snow much, and he thought Icicle, as a snow country, was really beautiful. I don't think he ever knew that Aeris was born in Icicle.

Despite possessing enormous strength, he was still one who would choose peace over all else. How ironic. He wanted to join SOLDIER, but will not resort to fighting as far as possible? I was kind of wondering why he decided to scare off two of those wolf-monsters rather than kill them, which was the popular choice. The Turk accompanying him killed those that were after him/her. But not Zack. No, never Zack.

I wonder what he did during the Wutai war. Sephiroth would know.

It didn't leave him a changed man, apparently.

It's just so damned hard to get someone like him down, I fully understand why Cloud chose to impersonate Zack. He was not only his best friend and saviour, he was everything more.

Of course it was Zack.

He had to live his future for him, anyway.

For so long, Zack's efforts were all for Cloud. If he didn't do something with that opportunity handed to him by sheer luck, he would live with remorse and bitter regret. I'm sure. That's if he lives in the first place.

That was it. One more thing that totally broke him. Zack's spirit lived in Cloud, except that it went totally wrong. I think Aeris could see that rather easily. Tifa was troubled, but she didn't have that courage to voice out. Cloud, was living somewhere in the deep recesses of his own mind, and let Zack take over. He had spent too much time with him to know him well, inside out. He had sinned so much, and had decided to repay for his mistakes, though accidental, entirely by walking away, seeking escapism.

Zack had been such a friend to him, and Cloud knew it too.

But that was no way to repay a friend.

post-exam celebrations

I think I have just survived exams. I think I did. Hmm, I did.

Whoot.

Of course that doesn't mean anything regarding surviving the time after exams. Which is the "getting-back-the-papers" part. Let's just say that I don't want to see some of those papers ever again in this lifetime. Unfortunately, nobody's willing to grant me that wish.

We must have been so used to failing tests, worksheets, assignment and the like that we simply don't feel anything much about examinations anymore. Besides, I know very well that my school loves to set difficult papers. I assure myself that if I ever needed to take O levels, it won't be as hard as what we've been getting for our normal tests, no, examinations.

Numb towards failure. Cloud should take a leaf out of our books. Not that it's very useful though. But at least the world will have one less mental casualty to deal with.

The apathy to the exams is disturbing.

{Actually, most people are far from apathic. I've witnessed just how about 85% of my classmates evacuate the classroom right after the dismissal bells ring, just to get a couple minutes extra for revision. And not forgetting all the studying during classes as well. Mr Ng could try for a lifetime to just get their attention away form their textbooks. And I've noticed, it's usually the Biology textbook. I'd bet they've read both the O level textbook and the IP textbook. (of course most people like the O' level textbook more, unlike yours truly)}

Okay, let me rephrase that. My apathy towards exams is disturbing.

I've found myself not worrying if I do badly. I will feel rather frustrated (I mean I actually studied very hard for some subjects), but it's not the same feeling as that of previous years. For some subjects, I didn't even study much until a couple of days before the exams. Of course, there are others like Bio which I began about 3 weeks early. Other than bio, I haven't been doing much for revision. *feels guilty*

And to beat it all, I don't feel much difference coming back from school on the first day of exams, and on the last day of exams.

Lol, I don't even realise that it's the end of exams already. Now what should I do?

I thought I had a long list of post-exam activities? Manga-reading, anime-watching, language-learning, KH/FF-playing... I hope my memory comes back soon. I have to admit, exams did leave quite an imact on my brain, frying asides.

I thought I'm supposed to be clebrating right after exams. Which has passed. But something just has to crop up and damn, I can't walk. Can't even go shopping the way I wanted to. Sheesh. *pats knee* Just the right time to screw up, yea.

And besides, I'm going to meet my future employer ('s company) and fellow collegues in a couple of days. Just let them see me hobble my way in. Someone should get me a walking stick. Crutches are too conpicious.

And I never knew X-ray results take 2 weeks to analyse.

2 weeks.

Pretty amazing, no?

100th post. Cheers.

Six more to go...

I know it's exams. I know nobody will be hanging around here for a while. I know.

But I just need to get things of my chest. Actually, it's to get it out of my brain.

I seriously don't know why I have the strongest inclination to slack right during this crucial war period. I don't know about this.

And the fact remains that I have not, contrary to popular belief, finished all my revision and is done with memorising every speck of detail in Social Studies, Biology and Chemistry. Sheesh, even the past year test papers are not done yet.

Chinese tommorrow, and I will be one of those casualties. For sure. Hopefully, I won't be too far dead. I still have maths and SS in the not-so-distant future.

I must get through this alive.

BTW, 99th post. Next one'll be a hundred! And a reason to celebrate.

deprivation and differentiation

I'm probably going to just knock off all the AC hype for a while and concentrate on revision. It's supposedly better for me this way, but I sure don't know how to achieve that. Even if I do get over AC, LO just pops up in AC's place and demands I watch it.

Of course, this demand has got to be refuted, otherwise there's really going to be nothing in the end to look forward to.

It's amazing how AC's delays actually benefit us people. Or me, at least. Living life with a goal seems like a very motivating idea. And it's good.

Besides, the more delays, the more we want it. Heh. Such is adding fuel to fire... unintentionally.

I'm not sure whether I see disaster in the near future, but I sure hope not. Most things have been coming along quite alright this year, but I suppose one can't expect everything to be the way she wants it to. Even if she's an evil unstoppable pool of fangirlitic enzymes.

One point, though, is clear. I abhor exams.

Really no choice, but no thankies. I don't see the point of putting so much emphasis on examinations. They're important, I know, but I do wish for people to understand that you can't judge the best of a person through exams like these.

I'd touched on this topic before, and said that I would fail terribly if exams were otherwise. (i.e. not word-based)

Still, I'm left in great wonderment how exactly I can still sit here and slack away.

You all probably know by now.

Notice:

Missing In Action til after examinations or school happens to find my mutilated body somewhere after convulsions and unexplained actions due to overstress or after I get revived by the thought of seeing LO and AC again. Or back to participate in all the bishie talk.

Bishie-induced motivation has an astounding impact on brain activity and the will to live.

Good luck to me til then. I think I need that lucky 7s effect.

and then again

I've read a few reports, and it has come to my realisation that depending on what type of die-hard fan you are, you'll react very differently to AC.

Scenario 1: Die-hard fan type A

Generally, these fans begin first with expressing their disappointment after watching AC. They've always had high expectations of FFVII and thus AC as well, and waste no time pointing out all the flaws they've spotted. Which accounts to, in the end, a lot of stuff.

Severe disappointment for these guys.

Scenario 2: Die-hard fans type B

These are mainly the people SE hs been targetting at, and sing AC's praises. They are also die-hard fans, but are already satisfied with what they got. They are mostly able to pick out the underlying themes and seem to like the ideas.

See Daniel's reviews: General and Spoilerific

Scenario 3: movie-viewer C

They have a good idea about the FF world, and have a certain amount of experience in dealing with video games and such. They normally see both sides to AC, but, well, can get a bit annoying -yet amusing- at times.

You may read this to get a better idea of what I'm talking about.

Scenario 4: neutral movie-viewer

Simple. They go "WTF?!"

Scenario 5: normal fan of FFVII

Typically can lean over to any side, or may be undecided in the end.

Scenario 6: non-fan of FFVII

I've seen cases where people who've played FFVII and didn't like it didn't like AC either. Of course there were logical explanations behind everything. Yeah. Sadly so.

But logical in their sense does not necessarility equate to logical in our sense.

--- - ---

You know, I actually felt a little disappointed in AC right after I watched it because there were so many things I had wanted to see but did not.

I had expected more flashbacks, but then there weren't many. There were too may fight scenes, IMO. And another thing is that I think we've all been spoiled by the magazine scans and trailers in recent days, that most of it is nothing new.

There were a few ideas that you just had to get used to, which took some time. Of course, there seems to be some loopholes in the plot.

Nevertheless, I'm rather satisfied with what I got because unlike FFVII, there is a major limitation, which is the time constraint. You have only 100 minutes to tell a story. Naturally, many things get left out or simplified. I'm also glad that SE left AC open-ended. No, we didn't see Cloud and Tifa getting married, though I know people who would have loved that to happen. Whatever became of Aeris, Zack and the SHM are also up to speculation, if you really want to. And till now, I'm not sure where's Seph still. The end of AC seemed even less conclusive than the end of FFVII.

Well, AC may be fanservice, if you want to put it that way, but at least it's impactful fanservice. I haven't seem LO, but from what I've heard, LO is just pure fanservice, much more than AC.

The part I found I love about AC are its themes. Sure some people find it amateurish, but I thought that there were a whole lot behind the SHM. I actually think that the focus isn't really on "Redemption". There's plenty more on relationships... or the lack of them.

AC is a short story, but in comparison to TSW, I think its better because we've already have the basic idea of FFVII. Everything just continues on from there. TSW lacked the basis. People didn't know what that world was like, and thus there were plenty of shortcomings. It had less chances of development because they had to convince the audience to take that entire version of Gaia in, and to accept it. By the time you did, however, it ended.

In the end, AC cannot be compared on the same plane as FFVII. It's not a fair comparison. In fact, we should see them as two different things with some connection, but surely AC is not as well-developed as FFVII, despite being just about as large a project. SE just doesn't have the ample experience in this area.

As for music wise, I did expect so many old songs to make an appearance again, but it's quite to my liking. Come on, it's not that sappy. I have a distaste for sappy stuff, but since I like the newer version of the songs, my sap-o-meter says it's not.

So there.

By the way, someting funny's going on with the recent FF:AC FAQ. Machine translations are the best/worst! (depending on how serious you are) You'd never think Aerith=air squirrel. lmao.

Besides, I've found a couple of pics of Cloud's swords in AC, which clears things up a bit. One of them can be found here. Sheesh... who are these hardworking people.

to a better tommorrow

The wait was worth it! *cries*

I see why people say AC rocks! Because it does! ^-^

Okay, that didn't explain anything.

And I've got the Limited Edition!<33 *happiness* It was the last piece yesterday, and I didn't know lol. Of course, I cancelled my preorder for the normal one.

Wonder who was the one who rejected the reserve or something. It wasn't for sale the day before that.

Nevermind.

*drools over AC:FPLE*

One thing off the list now. ^^

*glomps all bishies*

We knew how hard it was, and now we'll all look forward to a better future. It's there, if we just look hard enough.

Affinity

I should have known the sheer number of AC fans there are residing in Singapore. I've just checked, we rank 7th (coincidence or not?) in country of most hits for AdventChildren.net.

For a small country like us, it's quite an achievement.

If you want an illustration of how many and how scary AC fans can get, here's one.

MMM imported 150 copies of AC to be sold on the actual release date, i.e. 14.09.05, meaning yesterday, and it got sold out in 50 minutes.

I never stood a chance. They only accepted walk-in purchases anyway, so that means that unless I skipped school, there wasn't any chance that I would get it yesterday.

And I've had quite a few more amazing finds today.

Record of Findings:

1. It pays to wear the hongzi to MMM.

This is apparently so because seeing the hongzi gives the staff an impression that you're (in Laoba terms) "affluent". Thus the staff will suddenly become rather friendly towards you and will kindly tempt you with many things (that I don't suppose he does for everyone else who've stepped in).

And I've remembered to cover the back of my file up today, because I totally forgot about it yesterday. Strange how I don' want to give my "I'm a total crazy rabid fangirl" identity away. AC pics on the back of file certainly says alot. It also says that I don't invest in something more "official".

2. First Print Limited Edition was just out of reach! Just!

I saw it!! It was the first print limited edition! The cover looks sooo nice and it was really right in front of me. No, it wasn't just another magazine scan, it was the actual thing. It even had the price tag on.

Of course he would first try to tempt me with that.

My eyes went wide and I immediately asked "Is that for sale?" Which he promptly replied "No, only for reserve. It's not for sale"

Ahem. An obvious clue that he must be plotting some trap. Show me something so droolworthy and tell me politely that it's "not for sale" and "for reserve only"?

3. Ultimate Edition is damned expensive.

Remember last time I calculated and said that it costs approximately SGD450? Looks like I was wrong. It is, officially, a whopping $650, at market price. Goodness.

This is what it means to be extremely Limited Edition.

I was informed that there are only 77,777 sets of this Ultimately Limited Edition in the entire world, and that Singapore has only 15 sets(I think). By the time I got there, there's only one left in their store for sale.

Who on earth are these insanely rich people who can actually afford and don't mind paying for something like AC. I mean, it's not that worth it, I think. $650 down the drain. I think my mum asked for the price at least three times.

But but but, it was so grand a feeling, perhaps because of the size of the black box which contained the whole set. Larger than what I expected, and I saw the smaller black box with "Cloud and Fenrir" printed on its top fit snugly into one of the corners of the larger box. Oh shucks.

The mere fact that I've got to see it already stuns me. The guy was actually nice enough (or plotting enough) to open the box for me. Otherwise, those people who just stare at the display case will only get to see the outside and admire just how beautifully black the box is. With the design there, of course. But to see what's inside...! I think I was too shocked and excited that I forgot to take note of how everything looked like. My mind's pretty much blank now. Don't remember anything else.

4. I'm starting to see 7s everywhere. And yes, I mean everywhere.

Look, FF7; I'm 127 on the preorder list; my FFVII Platinum Edition has the serial numbers 00867, 10867, and 20867; Singapore's 7th on the list; My printer printed an error page 7; yesterday wwas the big day and it was the 7th post in a row! And no doubt SE wanted exactly 77,777 set of that ridiculously expensive Limited Edition set.

Next thing I want, is an all lucky 7s effect during exams. And I think we have 7 major subjects.

5. People in school are rather good at the art of ripping and burning things.

And are rather effiecient too. However, people in other parts of the world are even more efficient, because they are the ones who make the subs, rips, and uploads in the first place.

As a final note, yay for Free Trade Agreement and a whole lot of other stuffs that make AC more possible to come to us! Fortunately (or rather, unfortunately) my hyper has died down a bit, so at least I won't be able to go without sleep for long now. Off to bed!

The Big Day

14.9.2005
(7th post in a row!)

We've been waiting since January last year, we pulled through too many delays to count, read so many reports of various events, compared the stark difference between last year's Venice and this year's, last year's E3 and this year's, crying over mistakes made in the rendering process, discussed every detail found over and over, got exited over every single magazine scan, watched every trailer at least thirty times or more, got to know so many rabid fans, ran away from spoilers in the recent days... After so much, in fact, one year and nine and a half months, we finally get to see the product!!!

Except that it's not in English.

Well, that aside, it looks brilliant (shall refrain from saying it's "awesome", since that's about all the vocab to the fan group), and its CG animation is completely stunning. I haven't seen much of the plotwise developments, but only the action scenes. But the action scenes... *fangirlitic attack* ... obviously don't obey the laws of physics.

*spoilers below* (whatever little I may have)

I missed a great deal on the Tifa, Yuffie, stuff happening with the group, because I stoned there for a while and had to go in to talk to the shop keeper for a while. Whatever I missed while I was busy inquiring is anyone's guess.

But the first scene I remembered watching is from where Kadaj had just lost a fight with Cloud, and is holding on to dear life (not really) on the edge of a building/platform. Cloud gets the box away from Kadaj, and it falls down down down below. Kadaj, being the insane nut he is, well, went after it. Cloud followed after.

As Cloud reaches Kadaj (somewhere in the far far below) the box opens and Kadaj fuses with the substance assumed to be part of Jenova, and right when Cloud strikes with his sword, Kadaj had been transformed into none other than Sephiroth, who then parries the blow with his Masamune, which was formed out of seemingly nothing.

Crazy fighting ensues, as well as conversation on "why does Seph want to destroy this world; just exactly how insane is he?" and Seph asking what on earth Cloud fins precious. It's here where the answer to the question in the E3 '04 trailer is answered.

hmm... More crazy fighting, but Sephiroth injures Cloud first. Meh, you could actually see how Cloud found fighting more and more difficult: the stiffening, the slowing down, it's clear as day.

And Seph did it again. He stabbed Cloud!

Well, that wasn't exactly no creativity, but he did, technically, do that once before. In fact, that was seven years ago.

Okay, so his craving to stab something came back. Fine with me. But kill him damnit. You have better aim than that right? I mean Cloud was just sitting there waiting for you to do something. Don't forget to get killed as well. [/evil insane fangirl mode]

Well, the next part seemed like a replay of some scene I've seen before.

Cloud pulled the Masamune out of his shoulder -oww- , and foces it into the wall instead.

Deja vu.

At least he didn't try throwing Seph off the building. That would be the exact replay of the events seven years ago.

Then comes the part most people felt was the most "awesome" CG animation in AC. Cloud's new limit break. It was rather cool, but I didn't want to see Seph die yet again. I wanted Seph to kill Cloud, then kill himself. Err... not really. What I'm saying is that he'd probably get killed by someone else anyway. (Especially either the SHM or AVALANCHE, or even ShinRa)

Finally, you see Seph with his trademark one wing! It's like KH , but in much better graphics. Besides, the feathers were really black this time round.

Followed by -by now- trademark sentence:

"Watashi wa, omoide niwa naranai sa"

Folds, his wing over himself, and disappears, leaving Kadaj, back into his original form.

Hmm.. THat was only one scene, but it took so much ranting. Shan't go on to the Bahamut fight scene then; it's more or less like the trailer anyway.



Edit: I've now got the script for the entire length of AC! 1 hour and 30 minutes. And I thought someone told me 100 minutes.

and the agenda for today is...

AC's release date! It's supposedly 14.09 there already... and a couple more hours to go over here.

BUT but but unfairness in life prevails, thus we all just have to wait a little bit longer. A little.

I should just comfort myself that at least I won't be so distracted during exams because of AC.

Nya!!!

(( And no attempt at converting and/or polluting the sec one juniors' minds! ))

politics talk, not

Which is better? The politically correct answer or the politically incorrect answer?

What is the use of a politically correct answer? To create an impression? An image?

What harm can an incorrect answer bring?

Who will you have higher expectations of? The one who knows best at what's right and wrong, or the one who constantly thinks up alternatives to current solutions?

Would you want to stick to safe ground, or venture into potentially dangerous territory?

What risks are you willing to take in life? Will a wrong choice cost you your livelihood?

Are you willing to be restrained by society? How limited are your choices?

Is life meaningful living within boundaries, bound by these pinions? Is this the cause for the increase in jaded individuals?

How much courage does an individual need? Or is indifference more important?

Do all questions have right answers? Who are those willing to accept yet more than the regular response? How much regard do you have for those involved?

How much should we focus on self-image?

Which direction should we improve in? Are our steps to the left or right? Or will we create a path in the middle?

I'm starting to think that the right answer is not the right choice, but long-term general perception affects this acceptance. We tend to recognise certain things as the better alternative, or even the best choice, and this inevitably affects our judgement of situations around us.

I've only started to formulate these questions and thoughts only after realising how narrow-minded I am. Looks like I've got a whole world to explore.

There's a lot more to learn.

biological disaster #2931

It has come to my understanding that writing Chronicles of Urea through the Urinary system is going to be disaster.

If you want to know, it's tribute to the dustmites, part three.

Goodness, someone come and save the poor urea molecule before it gets humiliating.

tommorrow it's war all over again

I personally enjoy blogging, because you're up to rant all you want. Originally yes, but discussions some time ago have proven that bloggers are responsible for whatever they say, be it intentional or unintentional, coherent or incoherent, on their blogs.

Thought that you were safe commenting about others?

You are, for most part. It depends on your comfidence where unknown readers are concerned. Sure, yours is only one in millions.

I've realised that I rant a lot, as stated in the previous post, and the most probable reason is that everything's accumulated in my brain because I do not get them politely out of that little space through this method called talking. The simple observation of my lack of participating in this communicative activity otherwise known as talking explains quite a few things. It does explain why I tend to rant excessively when I happen to receive phonecalls, which happens, at best, -an approximate- once a week.

And lack of MSN souls when I need to find people.

Meh, lately I've been feeling the urge to move to LJ. But if I want to do that, I must -somehow- instigate persuade others to do so as well. LJ isn't fun without a whole bunch of people to constantly nag at you.

'sides that, LJ communities -> <3

Hope you guys will have comments about that appeal. (LJ from next year? Whoo...)

Time to cherish the last three to four hours of holidays.

Tommorrow, we fight. Again.

tell me there's a better day ahead

First off, congratulations to me for finally starting on my revision.

Finally.

A painfully slow process, that probably won't be done even by the time that it's exams. Pfft.

Perhaps it's because I'm convinced now that exam marks don't really reflect anything except i)you can memorise things well ii)you are good at studying iii)you have somewhat impressive general knowledge (especially with new formats implemented)

I can't say that they aren't doing improvements to the system, but still... well, you can't possibly do anything to maths and science.

I mean, formulae will remain as formulae.

The irony lies where I should be thankful for test retaining -more or less so- the current form. Otherwise, I'll be in big trouble.

I'm not exactly a very creative person, if you haven't noticed earlier. I seem to have some problems regarding thinking imaginatively, and expressing myself correctly. Well, I even have problems understanding other people. >.<

Tips regarding this point(s) will be greatly appreciated. And no, I'm not being sarcastic.

Anyone else read the ST article this morning regarding new science? I was interested but I didn't quite get what it was getting at. I do understand that Physics is fascinating because one day you may just wake up, and find that due to a certain discovery of a strange new element or dimension or the like, you have to reconstruct all your physics theories all over again. Starting from stratch has never been this depressing.

Of course, this new point comes from my brain. Heh, it doesn't even sound like anything that'd come from the papers.

And speak of depressing, I don't wish for 1up.com to be right this time, although I do know that chances are rather slim.

After reporting two false release dates, they just have to right with the most depressing one out of all. Damn, why do they have to be right this time?

Looks like we'll be waiting for a November/December release. I'll need even more self-control then. And I thought I'd manage (somehow) to watch AC right after exams! Meh, fangirl whining is not going to get me anywhere.

Getting the chance to watch Last Order will be even more difficult, it seems. No bootlegs, no bootlegs...

No Bootlegs.

I'm just trying to convince myself to stay off the bootleg track. The Dark Side is very tempting, you know. And Singapore's getting stricter with copyrights, it seems, though that's a little unrelated at the moment.

Sigh. Life is determined for me to handle one thing at a time.

Figuratively speaking, of course.

There's never only one thing for you to do at any time here. Even while you sleep, you still continue attending school in your dreams. Or spend precious time with your bishies. Well, alternatively, you can bring your bishies to school if you want.

It's inevitable that modern teens are so good at the art of multi-tasking. It is making use of time and achieving quite a few objectives simultaneously. I, for one, fail terribly in this area. Never try asking me to read or study or write an essay (especially if it's in Chinese) with music turned on. And don't even think about the computer.

It's the second last day of Sept hols, and I'm still spending my time here ranting. It's either my brain has malfunctioned, or I'm being rebellious, or -most probably- it's plain old slack-in-broad-daylight. Except it's moonlight.

Anyways, my mum has finally comprehended that her little girl has got a blog. Thank goodness there hasn't been any violent reactions. No violent reactions. Good.

I get to keep this. ;P

And it has come to my realisation that people my age don't usually type long entries like this. It must be my paranoia... of something.

I was bored, so...

Sheesh, instead of studying or doing homework, I decided that it's a good day to test Jason's statement.

And it turned out to be very true indeed.

Before you start wondering wtf have I been doing, I'll just restate my observations.

All you need is one link, and you can basically find almost everyone in the class. Or CCA, or level, or school for that matter.

I started with cheryl's and found, as expectd, a long list of links. Just imagine when every one of those linked links to yet another long list of links. Hmm.

Actually, I should know this fact very well, well... since I er... did use a lot of blog links to stalk track people down. Or sometimes it's by pure chance.

Another observation. I think I've lost count how many people like dark colours as background. Nothing wrong with that. I admit that most people have the Love-Black Complex.

And androgenous bishies have the Love-Leather Complex.

Ahem. cough. OT.

Anyway, I still think I prefer simplicity over complexity (and I shall try, as far as possible, not to drift over to what my piano teacher said about that very topic just yesterday) but I'm not saying that it's wrong or anything. In fact, I think it's kinda cool to have such layouts. Meh, but it just boils down to purpose.

If you have a certain purpose, you'll probably just want to focus on that and tend to ignore the other things. Hmm, yeah. That's the basic idea.

Of course, it'll be good if one day I can just sit down and spend -even more- time revamping this bloggie. Whoo.

Earth to drax

I was prepared to post something today, but big thanks to Mr Chan, who kindly reminded me yet again.

Reality check: It is but three weeks to Language Arts Exam!

=.=

Greatly appreciated.

wasn't supposed to, but I did

I've finally got my desired slack time, and I couldn't believe how extreme I could be when it comes to slacking. As I always say, I'll probably live to regret it.

Well, my brain was probably fried by all the slacking, ironically. Maybe it was yaoi overdose, or maybe lesser brain activity than normal, or even thinking too much of school reopening, that gave me a very strange dream. In fact, I'm so freaked over it that I think it should be classfied under "peaceful nightmares". And don't try asking me what it is about. If you were in my shoes, you wouldn't want to speak a word about this either.

But I felt rather good just when the dream ended. Until I started thinking rationally and conclude that I should be freaked out rather than feel happy about it.

But I'm mentioning it here, because of memory's sake. That's what this whole blog is for, anyway.

What I should be doing now is to look into the near future and see that the end of year examinations aren't that far off, and I should be doing something about that. It doesn't help that AC's offical release date is only slightly more than a week from now; it takes up an astounding amount of willpower not to view the spoilers that are not floating all over the Internet, or just scream my lungs out that I can't watch AC along with the lucky Japanese. Or those who were at Venice.

Instead, I choose to stagnate temporarily and look back into the past years. I can't help but suddenly feel as though I've come a long way in the past 3 to 5 years. Truth to be told, it may not be that long as it will be in the next 3 to 5 years.

I will probably come around to write a proper review about what has changed and what hasn't. I don't recognise my old self anymore. My old self was the conscientious one, or so I've realised just this very afternoon. I'll hang around to observe how I'm like these days. Grumpy, I think.

Tsk tsk, getting old already?

I shouldn't have looked back, but I did.

funny and yet not

I've been gone for a rather long period of time, considering that it is, after all, this year, where I hang out online about 65% of the time I have on my hands.

One week without my dear computer. I don't know whether I regret it or not. To err is human, but now I think to err is technology. Technology regarding our everyday conputers, that is.

Nothing in my computer has been changed. Well, nothing I can actually see has been changed.

Since No Change + vagueness with the person-in-charge regarding faults = Nothing wrong,

It just goes to show that I am perfectly paranoid.

One more to add to my long list of paranoia. After falling hair, probably.

And failing Mathematics. I'm going to openly curse Jason for leaving us at this time of the year, especially after seeing through the record number of failures in the class. Congrats to us. I probably shouldn't expect any 40s anytime soon.

You would have thought that I would have ranted to no end after not typing anything in a week. Unfortunately -no, it's fortunately so- things that have lost the chance to be said are now too late to be expressed. They are not valid anymore, and will not be able to convey a certain sense of emotion behind them. Too late, too late, too late.

Hoping does not bring about change. And if change cannot be stopped, then you will have to adapt. If you choose not to adapt, then I suppose there is always that road that is called "I give up. I don't care. Go away." waiting for you. Change does not necessarily bring about improvements, thus adapting to change is not always the best idea. But at least you're getting somewhere.

I hate to be stagnating.

Not that I choose to do so.

Then again, I should try to focus on other things right now. Sleep sounds good.

Stagnating... in progress.

electricity leaked out

I swear something fishy's going on with the weather.

Point number one, it's been raining for I-don't-know-how-many days consecutively, and even on those days without rain, it still looks like a dull, grey day. It's amazing the way it was perfect sunny weather on the 19th.

I knew it, Cloud wanted us to run the marathon on his birthday.

>.<

Then comes Point number two. Singapore is a very lucky country. Firstly, we don't have any major natural disasters (e.g. floods, volcano eruptions etc.), then we survive things like Dec 26, and now the major haze problem.

We are a very very fortunate nation.

Otherwise, there must be some weird conpiracy going on somewhere in the beyond.

At any rate, both cases are still hard to believe. Unless you're telling me that this will lead to some unfortunate downfall (choi! -touch woood-)

Point number three. Being the fortunate nation that we are, we always try to improve that various parts of our society. Which leads to things like IP... and SIAs... and more trouble. Argh, I still have Chemistry to do, which I was supposed to hand in last week. I'm done with the sheepish look. Got tired of it.

Point number four. Since I wish to slack off homework, I start getting interested in things like "It's 23 days 8 hours and 15 minutes left to AC's release!", "Bishie!!" and "Squeee! and whatever else that is included in the fandom. Don't forget the list of "101 recognisable and 1001 unrecognisable fangirl noises".

Point number five. Being a little over anime-tic has taken it's toll on my computer... somehow. I am now facing a crisis here. My computer may just restart any time without any warning. And it can continue the cycle of restart, shut down, restart, shutdown for as long as it wants. That's the dangerous part.

I'm not sure whether I should try to out-do my computer at being dangerous by learning the ways of violence. I've got a feeling that it won't work in the war between Me and The Computer.

Come on, I just want a good contract between us two: you just take good care of my info and my media, and I'll take good care of you. Don't you dare do anything to my music and anime and reports. *deathglare*

I don't know how I just did it, but I seemed to have managed talking from natural occurances and greater forces, to the country, to unimportant personal issues, and to my Dear Computer that resides here with me. We are inseperable. <3

I don't suppose this is off-topic; this is called a topicless rant.