Wednesday, March 29, 2006
and life goes on...
the silence in here is indeed deafening...no thanks to yours truly, the bag of lazybones that has been procastinating in blogging down her thoughts. guess the past few weeks just went by in a flurry; how preparation for german expo just seemed to start (and end) yesterday, culminating to the much-anticipated opening ceremony and all the booze + beer guzzling at paulaner brauhaus, i can finally do a *phew, heave a sigh and slip back into my normal 9-6 routine.but hang on a second, just when everything seems to be unusually peaceful, reality hits and i realize that i have tons of uni/scholarship stuff to complete. on top of the to-do list 1) crap on the umich honors essay 2) beg SMU for a scholarship. AND all these over the next 2 days... man its so going to be a brain cell killing/ sleep robbing/ eyes awaking experience again..thankfully there's previous experience to work on (think: SIA scholarship app) and hopefully by the end of this week, i can say yay you go girl, you've kicked ass with the apps.
there is this slight anticipation abuzz going around anyway, by the end of this week i will be able to confirm when i will get to fly far far away to a foreign place for the next 4 years OR stay in sunny sing-gah-pore slogging my hearts out again (and again). well, after the disgusting lse rejection, i have sort of been preparing myself for the worst, injecting myself with doses of anesthetic and letting myself be brainwashed (NUS isn't really that bad. campus is just opposite home) with the local uni education. so much for the girl who "dared to dream", "create infinite possibilties" and had the courage to "make things happen".
on a lighter note, everyone seems to be falling in love around me. absolute coolness that individuals are merging to form pairs and the world seems to be in happy equilibrium. the pendulum has indeed stopped swinging at extremes due to the lack of restoring forces, so please, let everything stay this way : in equilibrium.
and now..back to ms word to wrap up, erm i mean START on the SMU essay. URGH!
ilovetotwirl at 5:06 AM
Saturday, March 04, 2006
punched
Everything is supposed to be good. Was, actually...2 days ago, I was slightly alright, glad that everything for 'A' levels turned out well eventually, that all my fears from J1 were unfounded. It seems that finally it was my turn to shine, after all the sacrifices, sweat and toil I've put in since my sec3 days, finally, I could proudly say that I was making some headway somewhere. Until yesterday.
It's really not fun getting rejected, especially after all the hype, the big dreams, the expectations...they eventually fall apart. I thought i would be able to heave a big sigh of relief and enjoy my remaining months once i get accepted. Looks like i am pushed forward to Round 2 of decisions and more decisions again. it's been a while since i felt this way... since the time i had been posted to nj and i had to fight my way back to hc. everything seems so unfair. i never ever had a doubt that i would be able to make a strong finish.. but how come i never seem to have a chance to a good start?
damn, i hate to end up being back at square one again. life is so freakin unfair... i have to work so god damn blardy hard and here i am, stuck, denied and rejected.
and what can i do? cross my fingers and pray hard. that everything will eventually be alright...sighs
ilovetotwirl at 4:17 AM
