Omerta

tears

so its the end of the school year
again
getting a new class
again
yep
i kinda dislike my new class
sigh
its going to be real tough
jeremy lim..shudder
sigh
here's to you 2.11 Asher
i'll really miss *most* of you
you know i never
really minded
saying goodbye to 1.2
i mean sure
i had a few good friends
but still
nothing special there
but 2.11
haha
first day in class
and i was complaining and moaning
what a screwed up class
yep
ate my words at OEP
was an AMAZING experience
beach soccer
jimmy flying into the goalpost
rajendran and his 'arsenal'
nonsense
alex, david and johannes
KNOCKING themselves out
literally.
haha
yeah that was hilarious alright
just sitting there on the beach
sam eng, gunawan, money and raj
gazing at a beautiful malaysian sky
yeah
and what can i say
insanity reigned in class
from zhi wei's out the window antics
raj and money the singing duo
haha
samuel square sure had problems!
haha
so here's to you

alex- haha, snowy mat, snow white, whitey. haha. ever full of nonsense, ever full of energy, ever full of creativity(albeit put to the wrong use). Class life wouldnt have been as insane without you
always getting jacked by hadi, played out by david.haha. fitting then , that you started the class racial riots. "book me just cos im white right!"haha. and running out the door singing only to meet mr bongard..OH YES, mr azman and his..ahem activities...haha, here's to you star no.8, may many more tries, tackles, rucks and championships go your way!

benedict- sup man bomb. yes, your grammar is simply amazing. haha, always the cool guy in class and subject to zhi wei's erratic behaviour....stay cool!

hadi- PREFECT. haha, hey! you made it! yep, ill be seeing alot more of you in the board..dont know whether to laugh or cry..hmm..haha, well, fellow lin hui hater, youre the only one who actually rivals me in late hw, lousy hw or no hw at all in chinese class! and of course ringleader of the infamous three stooges eh? keith tan's favourite too! though that might not be a good thing...haha.......weel, what can i say, funniest guy in class. sure you disrupt the lessons, but i would have fallen asleep so much more without your incessant chattering eh pebbles ;)hee. well, its been an awfully nonsense year with you around, and my hands still hurt from all that handslapping....haha good luck and God bless!

$- heh. i didnt believe that was ur name at first, not till i saw ur ezlink card at least! opera singer, indian dancer, math whiz, science whiz, soccer star..your credentials go on and on...haha
who will forget your high pitched, insane and totally random screeches often heard inbetween lessons? or your plain spasticness? though i daresay you were quite dumb to try and take WILLIAM on..tsk tsk...you should have known better..haha, well, im sure you'll terrorise the next teacher in the next class..so sing on!

rajendran- sup danjendran! haha, FORVER in trouble, if not with the teachers then with me! huh! all the chances i gave you! what do i get? 72 paper airplanes...paper balls..tables..shoes...chairs...paint....ingrate! haha, man its gonna be boring in class without you! just dont pop out of dark corners and scare people next year yeah? cant really see ya know..haha....have fun man


gunawan- stupid fat hobbitss!! haha, thanks for being a GREAT pal for the whole year, sitting in front of me, discussing members of the fairer sex, and everything under the sun. haha, to imagine you almost went for prefects camp! hah! yep well, try not to be last in class next year yeah? haha

ahh well
the last days of 2.11 were memorable indeed
singing captain planet
who let the dogs out
pledge taking
paint bombs
dont push
airplanes
paper balls
and
whenever i look around the classroom next year
ill remember
the incredible amount of nonsensical fun we had
everything
i enjoyed
every
single
second
of being in
2.11 asher
and its sad really
that our parting
wasnt marked with singing
or 'indian dancing'
massive dont push...
just simple
goodbyes
and
goodlucks
a smile
and a wave
as one by one
you guys took your tables out
to move on to new places
i'll be sad
knowing ill probably never haev as much fun
as i did this year
ill be sad
knowing that we'll inevitably drift further apart
though i know
in my heart
we'll always treasure this year we had together
as the MOST
screwed up class in secondary two
thanks 2.11


thanks for the memories.

posted by S @ Friday, October 29, 2004 0 comments

am i that cryptic?
or is my grammar just bad?
IM STAYING IN DEBATE!!!
haha
yeah
to put it bluntly

anyway
got a real strange sickness now
my temperature is normal
but i have all the symptoms
of a fever
chills
bone ache
weird
hope i dont have ebola
or something
well
if u have the time
and if u can remember
do
say a little prayer for me..
;)







for the prayer of a righteous man..

posted by S @ Sunday, October 24, 2004 0 comments

today
i let down
alot of people
i let down
spectators
expecting a good debate
i let down aaron and vishal
who had to put up with my crap speeches
i let down joan
who worked so hard for us
but what really irks me
the most
is that i let down
lau
auggie
kal
and hoe
thats the worst bit.
i know my speeches in both debates
could have turned the debate
but instead
it went the other way round.
and im sorry
sorry lau
sorry auggie
sorry kal
sorry hoe
i know i let you guys down today.
after round two
and a little scolding from adi's older bro
i felt like throwing it in
enough of debate for me
why bother
when i cant hold up
why bother when i lose two debates
on account of my speech?
why stay on
and disappoint more people
might as well..
go to rugby.
yeah
something ive been wondering about
so i wandered off during lunch break
i walked into the clocktower
onto the roof
around the gardens
through the primary school block
and back to the front
and there
i made a choice.
it is finished now
no more deliberating
no more hesistating
my path is clear
thanks sean, HJL, chin san, mel, yk
for tagging with ur opinions
thanks lee mey, hiu tung, weilin
for being really really
awesome dep-mates!
thanks john and sean..
haha, the advice of a friend nearby is more worth than a brother faraway
..at least i tihnk thats what the bible says..haha
thanks paul
yeah
i understand now
thanks for helping me see the light
thanks lucas
haha, interesting view on things
as usual!
and really
massive thanks
sith master
josh hiew
only you know
my passion for both
and trust me
you WERE a catalyst in my ultimate decision
but strangely enough
my largest thanks
go to
Bishop William F. Oldham and Principal T.W Hinch
yep.
in the front of barker road
there is a bust
of Oldham
and below it
there are words written by T.W Hinch
if im not wrong
they go something like this
" Willam Oldham lived his life so others could have tomorrows
and as heirs of this great instituition, surely we must do our part
but for those who hope, work and play
the best
is yet
to be."
yep
that
plus several either little phenomena
made up my mind
i let down my seniors today
but from this hour on
no more.

juniors
s3 seniors
mdm
joan
the club
lucas
josh hiew
sean
john
paul
this is my final decision
and my final call
i will debate
and
i
will
not
let
you
down
again.
i promise now
that i will debate
with a fire like never before
that i will strive
with a determination, unprecedented
that i will never give up
for all your sakes
for my own sake
for the sake
of this great institution
Anglo-Chinese School

next competition
meth cup.
the grand finale of team c
and win or lose
i plan
for us
to take the final bow
with a bang.
to blaze a trail
and set a precedent
like never before.
so hear me now
win or lose
we WILL take the methcup by storm

and suddenly
history flashes past
jg semi final
jg 3rd placing
NCS finals
meth cup
HCJCs
youth14s
...
JG finals
and i promise
that from now on
i will strive towards an unheard of excellence
i will pursue a level of perfection
in debate
for i realise
that i must
ALWAYS
hope
work
and play
for
the best is yet to be.

posted by S @ Saturday, October 23, 2004 1 comments

alright
enough of the
cryptic entries
and confusing statements
THIS is my dilemma
THIS
is the problem im faced with

Whether to join rugby in ACSI or not.

there
before i start
id like to clarify
that
there is no way
i can commit
to both
debate and rugby
without one suffering
and here lies the crux of the debate
which to sacrifice?

here i have
debate
a cca ive pursued for 2 years
the cca FOR which i dropped rugby
in the FIRST week of trng in s1
the interest
that ive invested immense hours to
the passion
that seems to be dying out
so thats the question then
i dont deny
that say a few months back
or during our u14s
there would have been no question
it would definitely be debate
but now..
somehow..the desire is no longer there
twice
i missed bits of training for soccer
something
which according to paul
"would never have done before"
and thats true
but
should i abandon something
when the lack of drive
might only be temporary?
should i throw in the towel
at such an early stage
at a point where i
could
develop
and progress
so much more?

then
i have rugby
i dislike quite a few of the members
i dislike one or two of the coaches
on the other hand
several of them are friends
and have asked me why i quit
more
than once
so
if i were to join
i take immeasurable risk
i might not accept the ppl
the ppl might not accept me
i might not be able to endure the training
but
i would be pursuing
a dream
a dream that led me to acs
in the first place
a dream
instilled into me when i was 6
by watching
all blacks matches
when i was 5
haha
i remember
walking from east coast park
to challenger at funan
and i bought my first rugby ball there
was so excited
kept insisting that my dad and i
pass it around
throughout the entire journey back
till he was so sick of it!
yeah
that was a long time ago
all the kicking at the big field
kicking the ball into the forest
playing rugby with the musketeers
touch at blacks
or with kumar and hanwei
in church
and now in centaurs


so there you go
two dreams on diverging paths
two roads
i cant take the centre
path
cos there isnt one
where to go from here?
btw
id appreciate it if you were to tell me your views
instead of telling me to pray
cos i got that already
thanks.


to be or not to be

posted by S @ Thursday, October 21, 2004 2 comments

if
passion were the thing
that made winners
then im no longer one of them
ive lost it
dont laugh

posted by S @ Monday, October 18, 2004 0 comments

why
why
why must you be so?
why must you act so?
why must you dress so?
why must you behave so?
your walk
your smile
everything
so..
you
i laugh
its pitiful really
how i try to forget
but all you need to do
is walk towards me
and i tell myself
turn away you fool
but its ever so hard
never that easy
a tender smile
a quick wave
its more than
what my will can take
then you walk away
with that distant look on your face
undecipherable
how i wish it were otherwise
still
it is a dream
like all those before
an El Dorado
perhaps the greatest one yet
and possibly the greatest ever to be
but still an El Dorado
unattainable
unreachable
distant
and
a
figment
of
my
imagination
so dream on i shall
before i sleep
i shall think
and imagine
and ay
dream dreams
theres the rub
to sleep..
to dream...
and maybe one day
ill wake up
maybe one day
the dream will end
i cant wait
or can i?
do i want it to end?
ah
but that is another thought
for another day
time is in constant motion
and as such
i must retire
goodnight..



dios

posted by S @ Sunday, October 17, 2004 0 comments

heh
well
im probably going to get quite alot of flak
but from what i heard
(the bits where i wasnt asleep)
from MR T.T Durai
i was
impressed
firstly
his style and manner
was simply amazing
not one hedge
and if there were
well covered up
loud and soft when he needed to be
albeit too loud now and then
and fast and slow when he should have been
honestly
thats the way to speak
great speed
passion
(or at least it seemed to be there)
and fluency
thats just style
now for what he said
it really impressed me
how he managed to bring a foundation
into an organisation like that
and frankly
i think the
little 'criteria'
he talked about
was dead right
beyond transparency
beyond reserves
beyond monetary issues
are the patients well taken care of?
frankly
it sure seems that way to me
my uncle(not by blood)
had it
and he was supported almost infinitely by the foundation
gave him a machine
to bring home and around
set it up nicely for him
instructors all ready
i mean
thats quality healthcare
and, if the NKF has done SO well
and managed to fulfil
their major responsibility
(that of taking care of KF patients)
whats wrong with reserves?
whats wrong with a bit of corporate glamour?
whats wrong with a bit of franchising?
i say nothing
as long as the upper echelons remain
honest and consistent
when dealing with massive donations and funds
and
as long as patients around Singapore
or at least a majority of them
are being saved
i have no complains

of course
theres probably alot more to the situation
that im currently unaware of
perhaps the people on the ground really
are suffering
perhaps the people who benefit from other charities
are being maligned by the huge reserves of the NKF
maybe so
but from what little i know
and from what little i heard
it seems good to me

and on a personal note
there really doesnt seem to be a problem with
running a charity like a business either
ive seen charities on the street
with lousy stickers
and suspect donation boxes
worn and torn
and definitely reused
and the ppl ask me to donate
and i tell you honestly
i was afraid on more than one occasion
that it was a scam
that it was a set-up
then
there are organisations
like the NKF
like the Red Cross
like the Salvation Army
(hmm, not sure if RC and SA are run as businesses but i think they are..or in SA's case.. military?)
who ask for donations and get them
because of corporate effiency that guarantees
an appropriate use of funds
because of an image
that affects the layman's mind
in such a way
that he is compelled to donate
i mean
if thats what running a charity like a business does
hey
whats so wrong?


someone enlighten me ;)

posted by S @ Saturday, October 16, 2004 0 comments

two paths
two choices
one
an on and off fling
with a childhood dream
might not ensure
a place
might not ensure me a future
might not ensure my fitting in
but will ensure
my passion and enjoyment
two
something that took the place of one
now i can choose again
something has driven me
for two years now
somethingthat ive built friendships in
something that i know ill always belong in
something thats always interesting
or is it?
youre right
i wouldnt have done that before
why now
do i really belong somewhere else?
is my head leading on my heart
or is my heart playing a conniving trick on my head?

where to go
what to do
i have nothing to complain about
but still i do
everything i wanted
in the palm of my
hand
almost
could do this
doesnt equate to
can do that
dilemma

follow ur heart the wiseman says
dont be a fool says the learned scholar
forget them both says the preacher
Lean not on your own understanding..
yes..
perhaps then..
therein lies my answer
not within myself but in myself
not from me but from whats inside me
perhaps..
perchance..



lost and bored

posted by S @ Thursday, October 14, 2004 0 comments