It's been a while since my last visit. Well, maybe not a while but 2 years time. Wonder if anybody still reading my blog now? If yes, how are you doing people?
2 years, a huge transition here... reminisce, reminisce, reminisce.................hmm........
My Memories
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Random post after so long
Up till today, I still have no idea what I want to achieve in my life and who I want to be. All this while, I am just pursuing something, but I am not sure what is that something? I realized I never stop by and think what I really want in my life, basically I am just moving forward blindly without knowing what am I pursuing for. Maybe it's time for me to pause for a moment and figure out everything before taking the next step? I think so =S
Friday, January 1, 2010
一个人跨年并不寂寞
新年快了！哈哈！看了很多朋友写关于新年的部落格，给了我灵感，也很想用中文写一篇关于新年的文章。新年前夕，就跟圣诞节一样，我也是一个人平平静静地在家里跨年。１２点正，从我房里的窗口望出去是伦敦跨年地点 London Eye放的烟火。真的很美，很壮观。其实不用去跟人潮拥挤，在家里一个人还是能欣赏到很美的烟花。其实一个人跨年真的没有很悲惨，因为很多人会问我，一个人跨年不会很悲惨吗?然后他们都会露出很诧异和可怜我的感觉，问我为什么不找朋友出去跨年？我都会回说：What's the big deal of spending new year eve alone? 老实说，我并不觉得很落寞，一个人跨年也能很快乐的。（p/s:对不起，我不是抄袭你们的daoyong and tasheng，只是我也有同样的感觉。)反而，我的心是暖暖的，因为我知道我的家人朋友都会为我祝福的。21世纪了，网络真的可以拉近人与人之间的距离，所以我不觉得我是一个人在这边。
我想或许我已经习惯了一个人的生活，所以觉得一个人过也没有什么大不了。也或许是我已经过了很爱热闹的年纪，现在反而希望能和家人或很好的朋友一起过，就算吃个饭，然后坐下来喝杯东西聊聊天，我都觉得很开心。以前总是很向往到一些热闹的场合跟一大堆陌生人倒数，那种感觉好像很爽；但现在想到要和一群人挤来挤去，散场时又要塞在人群中，车龙中，我真的是很头痛。我一直都觉得如果你内心是充实的，就算一个人也不会感到很寂寞；如果心是不充实的，就算在人群里充满了欢呼声，内心深处还是会感到寂寞，因为你为了逃避寂寞而选择与一大群人狂欢。或许当你一个人的时候，会领悟得更多，会更明白人生。
我向跨年难免就是要喝到烂醉，我也曾经狂欢过，也曾经“堕落”过
好啦！祝大家新年快乐！２０１０年会是很好的一年！
我想或许我已经习惯了一个人的生活，所以觉得一个人过也没有什么大不了。也或许是我已经过了很爱热闹的年纪，现在反而希望能和家人或很好的朋友一起过，就算吃个饭，然后坐下来喝杯东西聊聊天，我都觉得很开心。以前总是很向往到一些热闹的场合跟一大堆陌生人倒数，那种感觉好像很爽；但现在想到要和一群人挤来挤去，散场时又要塞在人群中，车龙中，我真的是很头痛。我一直都觉得如果你内心是充实的，就算一个人也不会感到很寂寞；如果心是不充实的，就算在人群里充满了欢呼声，内心深处还是会感到寂寞，因为你为了逃避寂寞而选择与一大群人狂欢。或许当你一个人的时候，会领悟得更多，会更明白人生。
我向跨年难免就是要喝到烂醉，我也曾经狂欢过，也曾经“堕落”过
好啦！祝大家新年快乐！２０１０年会是很好的一年！
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Happy New Year 2010~~
Today is the last day of 2009. Again time flies. 2009, too much to be remembered. For sure there are ups and downs during 2009. Here are what had happened in 2009:
1. I've officially graduated and started my master course which is another stage of my life.
2. My parents, aunty and uncle visited UK and attended my big day-->graduation.
3. I've travelled to my favourite places such as Prague, Amsterdam, and Italy.
4. I went back Malaysia during summer and I had a great time there with family and friends.
5. My dearest "ah kong" Dao Yong visited UK two weeks ago.
6. I have my great time and sweet memory back in Sheffield with my housemate and friends. Really unforgettable memories in my life.
**The six things listed above are all my happy moments during 2009 and they will become one of my sweetest and unforgettable memories in my life.
The downs in 2009, I try to recall all those memories but it's difficult. Well, since it's something sad, disappointing, depressing, so there's no point mentioning about them. Let's FORGET about them!
2010 is coming soon, any new year resolution? Well, often I will only try to achieve my new year resolutions during the first few months of the year, because I am so lack of SELF-REGULATION! So this year I just list down a few here:
1. Successfully graduated with a master degree.
2. Found the prince of my life (Wish me luck please).
3. Able to look for a good job after graduate no matter is in UK or Malaysia.
4. Hope my family and friends will stay healthy and happy and earn alot of money!
5. Hope I am living a healthy and happy life too. Everything will go smooth!
Happy New Year 2010 everyone!! May everyone has a great year ahead! All the best!!
~Aza-aza Fighting~
1. I've officially graduated and started my master course which is another stage of my life.
2. My parents, aunty and uncle visited UK and attended my big day-->graduation.
3. I've travelled to my favourite places such as Prague, Amsterdam, and Italy.
4. I went back Malaysia during summer and I had a great time there with family and friends.
5. My dearest "ah kong" Dao Yong visited UK two weeks ago.
6. I have my great time and sweet memory back in Sheffield with my housemate and friends. Really unforgettable memories in my life.
**The six things listed above are all my happy moments during 2009 and they will become one of my sweetest and unforgettable memories in my life.
The downs in 2009, I try to recall all those memories but it's difficult. Well, since it's something sad, disappointing, depressing, so there's no point mentioning about them. Let's FORGET about them!
2010 is coming soon, any new year resolution? Well, often I will only try to achieve my new year resolutions during the first few months of the year, because I am so lack of SELF-REGULATION! So this year I just list down a few here:
1. Successfully graduated with a master degree.
2. Found the prince of my life (Wish me luck please).
3. Able to look for a good job after graduate no matter is in UK or Malaysia.
4. Hope my family and friends will stay healthy and happy and earn alot of money!
5. Hope I am living a healthy and happy life too. Everything will go smooth!
Happy New Year 2010 everyone!! May everyone has a great year ahead! All the best!!
~Aza-aza Fighting~
Friday, November 20, 2009
Complaints
Life in London is all about money, sigh! Once I step into a bus and went to Central London, I know I will need to spend. Gosh, I desperately need more money, preferably money earned by myself. Know what, I found my favourite maggie goreng in London, I was so touched and happy, felt so warm, lol. The differences between London and Sheffield: I can hang out until night time while the shops and restaurants are still open in London but not Sheffield, London has too much temptations and distractions.
Just want to talk about something here. Some people just like to think and say I am too fragile and weak to live my life. Well, when I am having troubles or problems, I just like to talk to someone, I just want to release my dissatisfaction and anger. If I am really that fragile, I would have did something negative (attempted suicide/harm myself) or I would just give up my life and studies here. If you didn't experience what I've experienced, you are not in a position to judge me! What you need to do is just shut up and stop judging me. I might be weak and emo at that particular moment, but nobody is perfect. Who doesn't feel sad, disappointed, angry in their whole life?
Imagine you living alone, all by yourself, can't go online but you are paying for the service, suddenly running out of gas, hot water, heater in this cold weather, trying to ask for help from neighbour but he/she refused to help and you need to carry the heavy table by yourself to third floor, don't have much friends in this new place. But what did I do? I cried, yes I cried, so what? I did not give up, I carried the desk by myself, I called the internet service provider day and night for 2 weeks until it was settled, I callede the gas company and I knew how my gas worked. I learned and I move on . I am not that fragile, at least I am tough enough to face the problems and release my emotions and move on. I wrote this not to ask for sympathize because I don't need it! I just want people to know that don't judge me when you don't know how it feels.
Well, at least I know more now, I know more about how's everything operates here, I know how to live my life whereas some people just don't know about most things in daily life!
Just want to talk about something here. Some people just like to think and say I am too fragile and weak to live my life. Well, when I am having troubles or problems, I just like to talk to someone, I just want to release my dissatisfaction and anger. If I am really that fragile, I would have did something negative (attempted suicide/harm myself) or I would just give up my life and studies here. If you didn't experience what I've experienced, you are not in a position to judge me! What you need to do is just shut up and stop judging me. I might be weak and emo at that particular moment, but nobody is perfect. Who doesn't feel sad, disappointed, angry in their whole life?
Imagine you living alone, all by yourself, can't go online but you are paying for the service, suddenly running out of gas, hot water, heater in this cold weather, trying to ask for help from neighbour but he/she refused to help and you need to carry the heavy table by yourself to third floor, don't have much friends in this new place. But what did I do? I cried, yes I cried, so what? I did not give up, I carried the desk by myself, I called the internet service provider day and night for 2 weeks until it was settled, I callede the gas company and I knew how my gas worked. I learned and I move on . I am not that fragile, at least I am tough enough to face the problems and release my emotions and move on. I wrote this not to ask for sympathize because I don't need it! I just want people to know that don't judge me when you don't know how it feels.
Well, at least I know more now, I know more about how's everything operates here, I know how to live my life whereas some people just don't know about most things in daily life!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Crappy post
Alright, it's been some time since my last update. How's London? (Most people was asking me this question) Well, sometimes I just don't feel like I am in London except when I passed through the London landmark (Big Ben and London Eye) maybe one or twice in a week? Coz I will only go to Central of London once in a while. So nothing much about London yet. =)
Actually I don't have much to talk about, my life is nothing much special. Today, I learned about changes in organisation today and most people don't like those changes and they feel stress. Know what, I basically hate changes, changes in any aspect: life, studies, relationship, job, etc. Well, I know I still can adapt to these changes after some time, like what I did now, but I just don't like changes. Changes made me feel uncertain and insecure, everything need to be reset. But, changes are inevitable and unavoidable, so finger cross everything will be fine!
I admit that I am a person who think too much, sensitive, narrow minded, emotional, stubborn, taking things personally, most importantly, a person who dare not speak out my mind in a group disucssion. I don't know why I just don't have the confidence and courage to speak out loudly in a group, I wish my brain has unlimited flow of ideas/critical thoughts, I wish I can just speak out what I think and what I want. It's so difficult for me to really engage and enjoy a group discussion and most of the time group work stressed me up. All I know is to conform and to agree, loser!
Sometimes, I blame my earlier education where we don't really given the chance to speak out what we think. Teachers don't encourage questioning, we just need to listen to teachers, did what they said. When we doubt and question about something, we got punished. We memorize model essay to write a good essay, we did 10, 20, 30 times of correction of the same question without knowing the reason why. We read from the book, we did not explore the environment around us, what we knew is how to study in order to get straight As. You know what, primary school until master level, the most stressful study period for me is during primary school. I was not in control of everything, I was just a study machine.
But it is not the case now, I have the control, I am free to speak out what I want, I found it is so hard to speak out, so hard to think critically, so hard to critize a journal article. Basically I just agree with everything, I just think what people said is right, I don't know how to spot out mistakes and flaws. Goshhh..... I just need more confidence and courage and braveness. PLEASE!
I know this is a crappy post, just let me release everything out, alright?
Actually I don't have much to talk about, my life is nothing much special. Today, I learned about changes in organisation today and most people don't like those changes and they feel stress. Know what, I basically hate changes, changes in any aspect: life, studies, relationship, job, etc. Well, I know I still can adapt to these changes after some time, like what I did now, but I just don't like changes. Changes made me feel uncertain and insecure, everything need to be reset. But, changes are inevitable and unavoidable, so finger cross everything will be fine!
I admit that I am a person who think too much, sensitive, narrow minded, emotional, stubborn, taking things personally, most importantly, a person who dare not speak out my mind in a group disucssion. I don't know why I just don't have the confidence and courage to speak out loudly in a group, I wish my brain has unlimited flow of ideas/critical thoughts, I wish I can just speak out what I think and what I want. It's so difficult for me to really engage and enjoy a group discussion and most of the time group work stressed me up. All I know is to conform and to agree, loser!
Sometimes, I blame my earlier education where we don't really given the chance to speak out what we think. Teachers don't encourage questioning, we just need to listen to teachers, did what they said. When we doubt and question about something, we got punished. We memorize model essay to write a good essay, we did 10, 20, 30 times of correction of the same question without knowing the reason why. We read from the book, we did not explore the environment around us, what we knew is how to study in order to get straight As. You know what, primary school until master level, the most stressful study period for me is during primary school. I was not in control of everything, I was just a study machine.
But it is not the case now, I have the control, I am free to speak out what I want, I found it is so hard to speak out, so hard to think critically, so hard to critize a journal article. Basically I just agree with everything, I just think what people said is right, I don't know how to spot out mistakes and flaws. Goshhh..... I just need more confidence and courage and braveness. PLEASE!
I know this is a crappy post, just let me release everything out, alright?
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Not well
I think I am not well now, falling sick I guess, and feeling stress.
I never thought of studying could be this stress. Last time felt stress because of deadlines and workload, but all that are still manageable. I feel so different this time, I don't have the enough knowledge about business world, I feel so inferior and not confident especially in a group discussion, I just kept quiet all the time, because I don't know what to say. No more common sense, no more crapping.
Well, just a short post, gonna go home soon!
I never thought of studying could be this stress. Last time felt stress because of deadlines and workload, but all that are still manageable. I feel so different this time, I don't have the enough knowledge about business world, I feel so inferior and not confident especially in a group discussion, I just kept quiet all the time, because I don't know what to say. No more common sense, no more crapping.
Well, just a short post, gonna go home soon!
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