Just to clarify, a Pilgrim wears a hat and has a fetish for buckles, a turkey does not! Turkeys are covered with feathers, many, many feathers! In fact, there is one side of the turkey that has more feathers, the outside — well duh! But to enjoy the tasty morsels of a baked turkey one must capture the bird and they can be fierce as is
Dr. Digi's House of Stamps' pistol toting turkey,
Howdy Pilgrim! So my advice is to set a trap in your oven by placing a pan filled with butter and other tasty foods such as breadcrumbs, cranberries, and chopped celery in the waiting oven. Next, since turkeys love salt and pepper, generously sprinkle both creating a path leading into the oven. You must be quick, as soon as the turkey jumps in the pan, slam the door shut and do not open for at least four to six hours depending on the size of your bird. When you are confident that the turkey is done, open the door and you will find a perfectly baked turkey already stuffed if you set your trap properly. The only task remaining is to remove the feathers, I suggest using your vacuum cleaner!
