Thursday, April 28, 2011

US Master's Swimming Nationals

I haven't blogged in forever. But there is something so special in my life that I have to write a few lines. I don't even care if anyone reads it, because I don't know if anyone even reads my blog ever anymore since I don't post. But this needs to be OUT THERE cause it's so important! For me if no one else.

Tonight I will board an airplane and fly to Phoenix, Arizona, and I will spend the next three days swimming in races at the US Master's Swimming National Short Course Championship meet! I will swim the 50, 100, and 200 freestyle, the 100 Inidivual Medley, and the 50 Breaststroke and 50 butterfly. This is a huge swim meet, and will be my first high level swim meet in 20 years. I have been training all winter, but particularly hard for the last two months.

Why am I doing this?

I qualified! After all of these years, I was able to race in a masters meet in February, having absolutely no idea beforehand what times I would swim, and I qualified for nationals! I was fast. Faster than I thought I would be. Not nearly what I was as a teen, but that was 20 years and 7 kids ago. It was such an adventure for me, with great results.

Another reason for doing this? Because I can. Something about facing death and enduring that tortuous pregnancy to bring these awesome, beautiful triplets into the world, along with raising them their first two years, and SURVIVING it all, has given me the power and determination to LIVE out loud! Dream big dreams!

So today I was perusing swimming quotes, and I came across one that almost brought tears to my eyes. It read, "It's never to late to be what you might have been." My secret is this: When I was 17 I qualified for Jr. Nationals in the 50 free. But I didn't go. I was tired and it was only the 50, and I knew there would be many there who would be stronger and faster, and it seemed silly to spend all that money for travel, etc. to just swim a 50 free, especially when I didn't think I would place. So I didn't go.

I have no regrets. It is what it is. But I have wondered over the years...what if?

It's never to late to be who I might have been. This weekend is about that. Not about regrets or lost opportunities, but becoming today more of who I am meant to be. Pushing myself harder, faster, and further than I thought I could.

I am ready. I am excited. I have nothing to prove to anyone, but this meet is about BEING ALIVE. I love my kids and I love my life, but this weekend there is a towel and deck spot reserved for me, and I get to go do something that I didn't do back then, and I am a 38 year old, mother of 7! Somehow that gives even more meaning to this experience than it would have had back then.

It is never to late to follow your dreams, or create new ones! One of my favorite quotes is "The energy it takes to ignore an inner longing is greater than the leap of faith it takes to move you in the direction of your dreams."

There will be many swimmers there this weekend for whom this is just another nationals, just another race, just another fun event. For me this is profound. This is about returning to the core of who I am and leaping, faithfully, in the direction of my dreams.