It was during one of those moments where you feel a sudden desire to look back into your life.
I had only wanted to look up a particular post; I ended up spending the next hour or so reading through the past entries.
My long hiatus suddenly made clear sense to me, everything was so awfully superficial and cosmetic.
Each post painted a moment in my life that was interesting. It did not, however, serve any good in recollections of what i was actually feeling.

A change in tone has been long overdue, something a little more serious perhaps.

Which proves to be harder than i had thought. Playing the joker, the outgoing person is probably an easier role to take on, pushing away the 'serious' thoughts in my mind seems to push stress away as well. The ability to be flippant with my thoughts is a skill set that i have been training since i entered into the army life. Having an option to not think of the troubles that await gave me that extra bit of sanity to go through each day. This skill, has since become embedded in in my brain, and there is a need, i feel, to change that long expired mindset.

What really inspired this entry was a random post on facebook. It detailed the discussion between two of my army friends. It was in essence a discussion about increasing equality in real consumption. This sparked of a chain of thoughts.

1. I wish I could pen my thoughts down as coherently
2. I need to widen my reading scope
3. I need to research and discuss more 'important' things in life

It was akin to a wake up call, an alarm that rang the bell of maturity. It made me think of my future, how far away i am to success, how much behind i am from my friends. Many of my friends are going to graduate, some are already working in enviable professions.

I won't be one to deny that these do not affect me, and sometimes make me feel slightly inferior to them. But i won't back down and wallow in self pity. I shall start off with this tiny step and lift up the arduous journey to God.

Why would I sabotage
the best thing that I have
Well, it makes it easier to know
exactly what I want with my...

Hands open and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
that your heart opens

It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy

beauty only skin deep. a sense of joy mildly fluttering the heart.
deluded we are, trapped in a ritual of lights, pacing the streets empty with noise.
no feelings, only such as to a film.

how often do we experience noise in the common darkness?
far too often, too many a time to bear.
souls lost in their internal abyss,
weighed down by the heavy cycle of a strange world.
we turn a stranger to our own.

a lonely tree illuminates the darkness, a shaded spot shining through the glare of the flourescent sun. an oasis of thoughts, a place to acquaint a stranger.

it totally slipped my mind to check my results after all the reminders to myself. an sms recieved from Ben jolted my brain sensors. " i passed all the papers. Thank God! i hope the same for you too." thanks for the message bro.

i literally jumped to my feet and rushed to the com.

well considering my past performance i think the results from this sem were pretty satisfying.

biz stats - High Distinction

prices and markets - Distinction

Environmental issues and the Green Business- Distinctino

Commercial law - Credit

Financial accounting - Credit

sighs my core subject only got a credit.
that is my greatest concern..but i really have to thank God for his providence.

On the flip side of the coin, i know of a friend who had like 4 HDs!
Darn that is my aspiration! if i wanna do well in the coporate world, my grades are gonna have to be like that.

Especailly since i am competing with so many ntu and nus students.

i am thinking of trying to get an internship at PWC, rather hoping is the keyword!
guess i am gonna have to get a job.

but think about it. How in the world am i gonna handle all the job comittments and study at the same time? maybe i should just get a part time job that is no so time restrictive.


7/8 9/8 11/8 5/4...absolutely madness

bill bruford is one heck of a human metronome.

i was at this drum clinic yesterday. which was at bukit timah road.
Naturally i went towards sixth ave. only to realise that the numbers were 769 813. the unit munbers i mean. tim said it was at 27 bukit timah road.

SaM( wah lau that means it is on the other side of singapore...813 to 27, that is far man!)

so i started driving backwards along dunearn road and found myself unsure of where to go. so i turned into this lane to find myself beside balmoral plaza.

the place of performance was called sliver entertainment. SLIVER..not silver. so we thought maybe just maybe it was some chao beng who could not spell silver properly.

looking around and checkng for unit numbers, i could not find any, but i did spot this SILVER TORTOISE THRE3. MAYBE this could be the place? wait. it's a bar, nightclub whatever it is. but it's those you find foreign workers in. so BAH!

well anyway we had not travelled that far down, so i thought this could not be 27. all this while i had not looked at the address on the ticket. i was only a driver. taking a first look at the ticket, I so wanted to take out a sledgehammer, a table , a flame thrower, wolverine's claws, apocalyse's hands to slap the shit out of tim...

rolls eyes...

IT WAS 271..READ 271 bukit timah road..not freaking 27!

so we called our resources to check where 271 bukit timah road was..
results were..BALMORAL PLAZA!

WHAT WAS THEIR PROBLEM! could they not have put 271 bukit timah road (balmoral plaza) on thier ticket?!? asdf;lkj!

but thank God for leading us there like without us knowing.

Then it struck me..wait a minute..it really could be that Silver ToTOise Thre3..

ok that aside i went to the carpark to find that the iu was not working so i had to press the button for a ticket, which no ticket came out but the barrier opened. so i just went in, since it was getting late and i was thoroughly pissed by the bad information.

Information counter. asked the guy what to do about the ticket thing. he told me not to worry about it and said that there will be a guy at the exit to open the barrier for us.

with that consolation, we proceeded to find that sliver entertainment place..
THEN we saw it..the unmistakable picture of the guy on our ticket was in front of a table with a group of people around the area. HALLELUJAH!

never ever ever be too joyful till you know the whole story..
for when i looked up, i saw...SILVER TOTOISE THRE3..damn it was really a nightclub place larr..what the hell.

entering the door you see the beautiful drumset on the stage, flanked by two poles..TWO poles..go figure (that is a permanent fixture).

it was complete with disco balls and flashing lights. crap.

well the show was not bad, the music was not my kind of music but i really appreciated his skill on the drums. his sense of rhythmn is out of this world.
and most of all i am thankful that he did not make use of the poles beside him.

BUT most of our view was irritated by a love story that was playing right in front of us. DUMB couple was da qing ma qiaoing, blocking our view, being a nuisance.

so we finally got to the car and drove to the exit. come one guess what happens next.
YES SO CLEVER! NO INDIAN MAN AT THE BARRIER...crap and everyone was leaving and there was a roll of cars behind! wah biang i tim had to go search for the guy. while i was there trying every way to intercom or open the barrier. whatever..

crappy place...but it was cool cause of a fencing club...but i aint in the mood..another time perharps

a thousand apologies! to those who have been faithful in adding to the numbers visiting this dormant blog.

i have no idea why but i just did not feel like blogging till now. haha lazy me?
oh whatever. the thing is that i am back in force! cue EVIL LAUGHTER! yah lar yah lar i am just back..just trying to be drama can?

well i have not been that far from blogs though. blog surfing has been my best friend of late. and boy do you get some nice ones out of the one million and one thousand that you do not even understand. well maybe if i did pick up german i might stand a chance, but till then it remains as gibberish.

just the other day i was riding the information superhighway in search of a good read. there really were lots that were so typically boring. then there are those that are a tribute to their baby boy or girl, followed by the ones that are boring cause the people blogging are boring. till i struck GOLD!

this one was such a sad and tragic story. go read it for yourself.
chronicles of A....vol 3

found this on another blog..

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, “What does love mean?”. The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” Rebecca - age 8 [*warm & fuzzy*]

“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” Billy - age 4

“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” Karl - age 5 [right..what do doggies do on dates then?]

“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” Chrissy - age 6

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” Terri - age 4

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” Danny - age 7

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.” Emily - age 8 [aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! ]

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” Bobby - age 7 [yes..please blow me away, seven year old o.O]

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.” Nikka - age 6 [we need a few million more Nikkas on this planet]

“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” Noelle - age 7 [she’s too young to know what personal hygiene is..]

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” Tommy - age 6

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.” Cindy - age 8 [i want a daddy like that!! *stomps feet*]

“My mommy loves me more than anybody .. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” Clare - age 6 [:?]

“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” Elaine - age 5 [yes, it’s true, i was a genius at the raw age of five..chicken & all]

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.” Chris - age 7

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.” Mary Ann - age 4

“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” Lauren - age 4 [ehhh..cheap trick!]

“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” Karen - age 7 [what an imagination..]

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.” Mark - age 6 [gross!]

and you know how people say older is better? or did i just make it up? whatever makes you happy..that is not the point.

this takes table tennis to a whole new different level!



This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know


That I love you
I've loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore


On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

So far away
(So far away)
Been far away for far too long
So far away
(So far away)
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you any more
Believe it
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing, 'cause i'm not leaving you any more
Believe it
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and never let me go

haha the talent in Singapore is well 10% talent and well 90% are just plain jokers.
But seriously. given the new super band show. haha although i am enjoying what i am watching. Getting entertained, wrong getting tickled would be a better word.

the sorta thing that would make you laugh and cry. LAUGH at their lack of talent and dumbness and err well i think theur sense of hearing is not very good either, otherwise they wouuld have the better logic of not displaying their voice rather lack of voice. it's laughs when you see one of them err moving about like he's trying to show that he is feeling shiok while the other guy is singing and how they err use hand actions when there are lyrics written on their hands? well i guess cry at how sad it really is when you only have that few people who have some sort of talent.

so anyway happy birthday to jason yong=) went for lunch at marina square at changing appetites, this new shop. Well the food was not too bad but the service was quite funny, think they kept getting the orders wrong. Hmmm and they err speak damn softly? was piecing together the words that i could hear to figure out what they were trying to say. AND azabusabo GREEN TEA ice cream still rocks..the smooth creamy strong green tea taste just lingers in your mouth, Which brings me to my next point on how i felt cheated when the person scooping gave so little in the cup. i always remembered that the cup would be a heaped cup and not a levelled cup of ice cream.hurr hurr.

spent much of the rest of the day studying..yep that is exciting as my life gets. haha oh wells

oh check out this guy. i swear he flys on the fretboard. ok exaggerating but i do aspire to play like that.



A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

spent today in church studying.
at least i tried too larr huh.
took some time to fix the paper cutter with wendy and claudia (i swear she owns a stationary shop).

haha fine i played soccer by my loner self for about 15 mins when i got to church.
And it started raining just as i went back to the social hall. pretty cool yea.

oh and thanks to them for buying green tea back. BUT! please don't drink and buy funny green tea brands that go for buy 2 get 1 free. they are wierd and don't taste anything close to the leading brands.
For one they are darn sweet and do not have a strong enough green tea taste to it. haha and thanks for sharing the delicious otah nicc. oh and yes the well not that great cookies from wendy. but thanks it was still nice=)

soccer today was infuriating..kept hitting the post..from simple shots to the spectacular.
90 friggin percent of them were hitting the post! argh oh wells.

and the V for vendetta influnce on me is not gone..haha i created my own V sentence.
Now now don't go all critical on me. it was never meant to be absolutely impressive.

Voila! herein lies a vast canvas
not for the vicious vilification of vile viragos
nor for the vociferous verbossity of views.

falling vulnerable to my veneration and comments full of vigour.

veering away shall instigate in me to rage a vendatta agaisnt those vituperative attacks.

now here i shall leave you with the original.



In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate.
This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished.
However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation now stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violent, vicious, and voracious violation of volition.