Grateful to be a Mom

I am not proud to admit that most days being a mom is not at the top of my "What I want to be when I grow up" list. Most people who know me understand that motherhood is a big time struggle for me. It is getting easier, but still, I'm pretty sure I am not alone when it comes to "Man, my day sucks, where's my replacement? ?" Fortunately, today was not one of those days. My day was so good that I am recording it for future reference on those days that the art of motherhood escapes me and I need a fond reminder of why motherhood is the greatest calling. I really am in awe.

Today started like any other as I was awaken to the sounds of a hungry newborn and a 2-year old staring right in my face (since his height is exactly at my bed level) and shouting "Eat! Mom! Eat!" I really wanted one more hour of sleep, but I got up and forged ahead. I have found I am a creature of productivity. And when I am productive, my self-esteem is a little better. Don't ask me how it happened, but today, productivity was off the charts. I can tell already it's going to have to last me all week. I got everyone fed and dressed, I GOT A SHOWER, cleaned my neglected bedroom, dishes done, kitchen cleaned, floor mopped, laundry going (7 loads), husband home for lunch, little ones down for naps, normal reffing between Audrey and Corbin as they argued and worked on their chores, and then a fun little Fourth-of-July craft because they were BORED! Nursing even went better than it has in the last few weeks. Anyway, I think I felt a little chipper because I tried to ignore the whining and crying and fighting. We even made it to the park for an hour before Brandon came home and we went to Chuck E. Cheese.

I'm still wondering why today was better than others when all I did was mom stuff and the kids were their usual selves. It may have been that my expectations were low. Or that I had nothing else on my agenda than to care for a home and four children. (HA!!! Couldn't have been that. caring for four kids and a household is HUGE.) Maybe it was finding humor and appreciation in my family and life.

For example, Drew was so exhausted and ready for a nap at lunch, he had his eyes closed, heading bobbing, and mouth pursed as he sucked up ramen noodles. Everyone was laughing at him and I caught a bit on video.

Audrey offered (or rather pleaded) to help with the mopping because that's still fun for her. (If it's a chore that I would rather get done quickly and don't let them help that often, they think it's a big deal to get to do it. Funny that this tactic is still working for cleaning the bathrooms and the first attempt is done all by Audrey and Corbin. I still go back afterwards due to my own need to really have them clean. :) She also has been a big help with whatever I need if my hands are otherwise occupied with Jake or Drew.

And Corbin says some of the most random funny things when he is not so focused on teasing or feeling victimized. I love when he is motivated to do what he is asked and I don't have to listen to the WHINING!!! He really wanted to do the craft and then go to C.E.C. so he did pretty good to keep at his jobs until they were done. While we were at the park, I really had a good laugh over his "I can hear Disneyland" and "That pole gave me POLE STAINS." (See "From the Mouth of my Babes")

And the appreciation for Jake...he is such a good little guy and can usually be calmed by the normal stuff - feeding, burp, change diaper, holding, or allowing him to sleep. But I've got to say, baby slings and carriers are great inventions for moms who need two hands.

I even enjoyed having Brandon home for lunch. He didn't stay long, but it was nice that he took the time because the kids love when he comes home.

Shockingly, even Chuck E. Cheese was enjoyable. The kids had a great time. And we found that Monday night at the Big Mouse in Grand Junction, CO are so manageable we didn't stress that they were running all over the place. Drew loved this one ride that either took him on a mock roller coaster, flight, or car race and he rode it over and over and over again. The funniest was when the ride would shake and his cheeks would jiggle. As we left and the kids got their prizes, all Drew wanted was a lollipop so Audrey got his extra tickets to buy more stuff. She was so kind to buy something more for Corbin and Drew.

I really do have great kids and a great husband. And I know I don't express that enough to them. I have been so blessed and today feel grateful to be a wife and mom.

Trip to SoCal

Some may call it absurd, but I like to refer to our California vacation with an 11-day old baby GENIUS with a touch of SANITY. Now, back in April when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant and done with travel due the aggravation that would cause me and my family, I was feeling a bit of cabin-fever towards Grand Junction. I needed to get out! I love traveling. However, our location and growing family does not allow for the freedom we once enjoyed. Audrey even asked me, "Why don't we go anywhere anymore?" She's a girl who is use to being on the go. Well, my solution was to plan a trip.

Starting in May, Allegiant Airlines opened a new route to L.A. from Grand Junction for $19 one way. Awesome! Jared and Janet have been encouraging a visit since they got a place in Newport in January. "Come and go to Disneyland and the Beach." I refused to go while I was pregnant because I wanted to ride the rides and avoid going into labor as I walked the 20 miles through all the theme parks standing in one line after another. So, I figured we could go after the baby was born. Problem was Allegiant only had the special fare available up until the second week in June and then the tickets were $99 one way. And, since we were paying for five tickets, I wanted to the special fare! (Turns out after all the hidden fees, baggage charges, seat assignment charge, etc, tickets were $110 each. But still, a great deal!) Anyway, I booked flights for June 8 - June 15. Jake's due date was June 4th.

Now, I really wasn't too worried since Audrey was 3 weeks early, and Corbin and Drew were both 2 weeks early. The way I saw it, Jake had a good chance of being 2-3 weeks old by the time we went. Besides, the doctors were even expecting an early baby with my history. But, as we found, Jake had other plans.

Everything worked out fine though. Because of my due-date delivery and blood transfusion situation, the mid-wife faxed a letter to the airlines stating I was not released for travel four days post-delivery. Long story short, we got out of the $500 cancellation fee and re-booked the following week. That was the ONLY week that worked out all summer between everyone's schedules. We were going to have to pay another $500 for the difference in ticket fares, but miraculously the fares dropped minutes before Brandon called and made the changes. We only paid an additional $80. :)

So, with four kids in tow, double stroller, golf-clubs, and luggage, we boarded the plane. It was great. We stayed with Brandon's Uncle Jared and Aunt Janet and had an awesome time. Because Brandon wasn't working, he was able to help more with the kids, Janet took the baby in the nights, and I was able to sleep! I had to get up and pump, but that's nothing if someone else is listening to all the grunts, and squawks, and cries that come with a NEWBORN!!! Ty and Desi (cousins) are also living there this summer and they were a big help with the kids!


One day Brandon and I took Audrey and Corbin to Disneyland while Jake and Drew stayed home with Janet. I just brought the pump with us and made Brandon haul it around. :) Jake did fine with the bottle and Janet got a glimpse of what Drew is like when he is not understood. (Only a mom can understand a 2-year old's developing language...well, maybe that and his 5 and 7-year old interpreters.) Anyway, we had a great time. I was TIRED, but we went back to the house for dinner and dropped me off and Brandon took the others back for the fireworks show. Audrey and Corbin had a blast.


The next day the fellas went golfing at some posh golf-course and then met up with the rest of us at the beach later in the day. Even that was non-stressful since the beach is a five-minute walk from the house. If you wanted to go home, you could. If you were hungry, you went back and got food. And parking...non-issue. Some could even stay behind and SLEEP while the others went ahead. It was great. Everyone had fun flying kites, playing in the sand, searching for the perfect sea-shell, and learning how to skin-board.

The following day we attempted Disneyland with the whole family. We figured the got to ride most of the big rides with the older two, we could take things at a slower pace with Drew and Jake in tow. After most of the day had passed, Brandon figured our productivity was decreased 85% with a 2-week old and a 2-year old. :) But, family to the rescue, J&J, Ty and Desi, and Shawn and Britney (cousins) with their three girls joined us. Since Janet feared she would pee herself silly going on the scary rides, and Desi recently found out she's expecting, those two stayed off the rides with the little ones. I took Drew on a bunch of kiddie rides, but if he had to wait longer than 5-minutes in a line, it wasn't worth it. The guys and Corbin took off to an Angels baseball game and we stayed until we couldn't take it anymore. Audrey and I crammed in one more ride while the others headed back to the car and I will say this...I was not in any shape to be running around from park to park, weaving through crowds. I seriously felt like my insides were going to fall out. Not to mention my milk jugs kept filling up. :) But, the ride was worth it. I don't think I had ever been on Space Mountain and we had fast passes so our wait time was 15 minutes.

On our way home, I called the guys to see how the game was going and how Corbin was holding up. Brandon said it made it to the 5th inning before crashing. He was having the time of his life eating everything the vendors brought around. Brandon told me at one point Corbin turned to him and asked, "Daddy, do you think Jesus will want us to move to California?" I had to laugh over that one. He probably figures he needs to get the big guy involved since we told him we moved to Grand Junction because that's what Heavenly Father wanted us to do - something we explained when the kids were having a hard time and wanting to move back to Utah. Anyway, he must think California is a non-stop party.

We even enjoyed Father's Day with a bit of church, dinner, and beach. Brandon's gifts had a surf theme. He joined Jared and Ty for surf lessons on Saturday and then sported his new surf shoes. We took the kids to see a movie and thought they all did really well. Lucky for us Drew is a T.V. junkie and can almost sit through an entire animated film. (Something as parents we shouldn't really be proud of, but hey...I'm amazed at what he has learned off of "Pre-school on T.V.")

All in all, we had a great time on our family vacation and we came back feeling successful! Kids had a great time, I didn't have to entertain them all week while re-couping, and we had so much help we concluded vacationing by ourselves while we have babies and toddlers is overrated. :) We seriously could not have done it alone and still had a good time. Don't get me wrong, Brandon mentioned more than once, "Four kids is a lot of work," but we felt totally taken care of. Thanks J&J for all your hospitality to us and everyone who came to visit while we were there! We loved it and can't wait to visit again.

Here are some cute pictures I took after church. I wanted all of the boys with their dad on Father's Day, but Drew crashed in the car on the way home so we took a few with Jake.

Jake smiling big at Dad. His eyes were open...until the camera started flashing.

Corbin is so loving towards Jake. Most days Jake's hair is stuck to his head from leftover kisses. :)

Peaceful sleep.

I don't know what this is...I guess he catches my scent and goes a searching...mouth wide open.

Sometimes Brandon affectionately calls him "Roto-Rooter" when he is hungry and frantically twisting his head, "rooting" for food! Obviously he doesn't follow direction yet to look towards the camera. :)

Baby Jake is Here!

Jacob Brandon Williams was born June 4th at 5:36 PM. Our first due date baby! Labor was fast and furious. 2 1/2 hours total. Only at the hospital for 1 hour 20 minutes before he made his debut. Brandon wasn't convinced we were going to the hospital to stay. I thought otherwise! I was thrilled my body went into labor on its own. I attempted the Hypnobirthing Method. I personally think I did great during dialation. But the actual birthing was a whole other experience. When I was a 9 and my water was still intact and didn't show ANY signs of rupturing on its own, my midwife poked a hole and it was all over from there. My focus and "I'm in control" went out the window. Jake came so fast and his head was already crowning, I was really caught off guard. Nurses said he had a big head (14") but he got stuck on his shoulders. After his head was out, it still took 2 minutes to get shoulders and rest of body free. OUCH!!!!! (And that's mild.) Midwife was turning and tugging, nurse was on my stomach pushing. I was screaming "Get this baby out of me." It's kind of embarrassing now. :) Anyway, Jake's a champ and he recovered great from cord around his neck and bruising from his power impact with my tailbone. I am happy I was able to gift Jake a drug-free childbirth. Brandon couldn't believe the difference in how alert he was right after delivery compared to our other babies.

I on the other hand had a bit of complications. My uterus started hemmoraging and it was MISREABLE! Frantic nurses, needles, shots, missed IV's, pills shoved, arms restrained, more pushing on my stomach, me screaming at the nurses. I must have been a sight. Apparently my blood pressure was not so hot. 50 something over 30. Fortunately they got the bleeding to stop before they had to give me a shot through my belly to my uterus and then off to the OR for a hysterectomy. They told me, big baby, fast labor, 4th kid. I'm doing much better after two units of blood and on the road to recovery. So good that I'm actually posting a blog for family and friends to see our new baby!!! Thanks for the prayers, phone calls, and well wishes. We are so thankful to have Jake here and healthy!

The kids adore him and bug grandma every other hour to come to the hospital and see him. They fight over whos turn it is to hold him and who got to hold him longer. :) They've got the house decorated for a birthday party and can hardly wait to smother him with their love and affection. Good thing he's tough.

Miraculously...Baby still in Belly (06/02/09)

Prepare yourself...This may be one of the most ridiculous posts ever. Who is reading this thing anyway?

Although this is something I have thought about doing for the last few weeks, I didn't really think I would get around to doing it. As many of my friends and family know, I am a project girl. I like accomplishing projects - as long as I can muster some motivation to start them. It makes me feel productive, even if it's laundry and mopping the floor which will be sticky in about a half an hour. But you can only clean your house so many times expecting it to be the last before you go to the hospital. So, I'm back to not cleaning. I decided to attempt this off-the-wall project, and ended up searching for pictures without total success. In my book that is considered wasting time. And I HATE wasting time. I'm talking about Audrey at school, Corbin at a friends, and Drew taking a nap while I leisurely look through old pictures unrelated to the purpose at hand. Oh well. They were FUN pictures of my past life...without children.

Anyway, back to this crazy project. I was wondering how big my stomach was with each pregnancy prior to the birth of each child. This is the kind of "fun/stupid" stuff I want to put in my kids baby books when I get around to doing them. (Still waiting for the motivation). I almost found all the pictures I wanted. Where they are missing, I just put in older pictures and will continue searching and update later. I'm sorry for some of the obscenity..stretch marks and all, but it is what it is!

I have noticed each child seems to like the womb a little more - if only to add a pound to their healthy stature and grow a little longer! I am starting to get a little concerned about Jake. I don't mind that he will be a trend breaker... record setter if you will, but I've still got to push him out and I'm not looking forward to his size. The closer the pregnancy picture is to delivery date, the more torpedo I get. :) On the bright side, many people comment that I don't look pregnant from behind. On the dim side, I still have several people ask if I am pregnant with twins. Torpedo I tell ya! Straight out.

Audrey (08/20/01) - born at 37 weeks, 7 lbs. 19.5 inches long.

Corbin (03/03/04) - born at 38 weeks 7 lbs. 15 oz. 20.5 inches long

Drew (02/27/07) - born at 38 weeks, 8 lbs. 13 oz. 21 inches long

Jake - still cooking. Currently I'm 39 1/2 weeks. This picture was taken at 38 weeks after I walked 3 miles - some of it uphill. This little guy is just not ready. My poor skin says otherwise but fortunately I have not had the pain in this pregnancy with my hips, back, and pelvis like I did with Corbin and Drew. A true testament that your body can heal!!! I started with an irratable uterus that contracted ALL THE TIME and I had Placenta Previa that the Chinese Medicine doctor told me stemmed from an emotional cause. I have been doing emotional release work that I learned from my Institute of Healing Arts schooling. Fortunately, my placenta previa cleared by 28 weeks allowing me to switch to a midwife. Additionally, I have been seeing a chiropractor that has experience working with pregnant women and also a lady who does nueromuscular treatments - both of which have done wonders for my back and pelvic structure and muscles, allowing my uterus to properly align. I could not be more pleased with my progress.

Brandon questions if I have healed too much...made life in the womb too comfy so Jake has no reason to come out. I am reassured that pregnancy is not a permanent condition -just a trial of patience, endurance, and attitude amongst the raging hormones. :)