Saturday, February 26, 2005
hey! It's a friday and guess what?! The three babes are back in action! hee!
Went out with friends for lunch and stuff... Well... although life hasn't been so great... I managed to get myself away for a little while. thanks...
Tomorrow's a weekend... work...
I'm struggling still... But I'll try...
posted by Jenn Tan @ 3:22 PM
Friday, February 25, 2005
Well... had my RFA test yesterday! Gees, I didn't expect it to be so difficult! Gosh!
As you can see, I've done up my new blogger... I love it! Muacks!
My life seem to have changed... I'm different, everything's different.
Well, today Aizal called me up, which was surprisingly. He said his production is going to shoot a MTV and the first person that came to his mind was me. The lead.
Pretty exciting role eh? Oh well... but i guess it's gonna be tiring!
posted by Jenn Tan @ 9:50 AM
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Another day has just passed... just got home and had my dinner... I'm so tired! So drained out in fact... There's like so much to do, yet so little time to complete!
Life... Tell me about Life... oh well... It's not getting any better! Semester is going to end soon and I'm so glad! BUT, I gotta really work hard, or else, no more 6 months attachment... Watch me die then...
I'll try to survive... I will survive! No more negative thoughts, Jen! Wakie Wakie!
Just wanna lie on my bed now and take a short nap... I know I just finished dinner and shouldn't sleep... But when you get so tired that you don't feel like doing anything... that's when you know you're tired...
posted by Jenn Tan @ 12:02 PM
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Well, went to work today and not having that kinda smile on my face ain't a good thing eh? But I can't help it. Even to guests, I put on a fake smile. Gees!
But thank goodness, work was good... and went for dinner with the GROs at riverside point. We had such great fun I must say!
HaHa! I couldn't stop laughing at Renee taking the Bungy Jump thingy! It's cracking me up! But I guess John must have spent lots today! Thanks Boss! HaHa! I'll make it back to take that bungy jump too!
Headed down to Bishan for a midnight show with Xueting and Jiamin. The movie "Million Dollar Baby" was lousy! Please do not watch that show guys! Only towards the last part was nice! Gees! And let me tell you... I fell asleep during the first part of the show!
Then after movies, Jiamin wanted to go to the washroom! Apparently, we came out realising that we got locked up in the mall! What an experience... Figured ways to get out, finally, we did! I don't wanna spend my night in a shopping mall!
Then now I'm back here! Thank Goodness! I gotta turn in soon... tired...
posted by Jenn Tan @ 8:12 PM
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Yays!!!! Tell me about life!
Projects have ended! I'm so relaxed now! But it seems like i'm having that heart crashed mind feeling. Argh...
I don't know... oh well... the weekends are here and like i give a damn about what's happening. I've not been concentrating that well anyways. not knowing what i've been doing these few days. i don't like to talk. i come home, i get into the room. i get to school, i do my stuff. only talk during projects. i go out, i like to be alone. i see things, i take my time.
i try to sleep every night by taking pills. but i guess they don't work.
i guess i don't belong here. such a weird world.
would you know my name if i saw you in heaven
would it be the same if i saw you in heaven
I must be strong and carry on ( like real) crap! (I've been so strong all the while)
cos i know i don't belong here in heaven ( i think it's this world)
would you hold my hand if i saw you in heaven
would you help me stand if i saw you in heaven
I'll find my way through night & day (better off dead)
I just can't stay here in heaven
Time can bring you down (I'm already down enough)
time can bend your knees
time can break your heart
have you beggin please (i'm still struggling)
I hope there's no more tears in heaven (hope more)
It's a crazy world that I'm living in and I don't understand. why must I understand anyways?
posted by Jenn Tan @ 10:10 AM
Friday, February 18, 2005
sMiLeS
posted by Jenn Tan @ 9:48 PM
I'm not leading on well as usual. But today when I got back my MA paper, I wasn't much surprise that I failed. Neither did I feel a thing. Apparently, I think I'm so numb that I can't feel anything already. I'm trying to be happy each day. At least I know if I were to leave this world, I leave happily.
I can't possibly let everything go just like that. I gotta build up the confidence and stand up again. If I could... I would... How can a person ever fail 3 modules?! It's the first time in my whole life that I failed! gees! What the hell is happening?! I'm not concentrating enough. I'm losing hold of everything.
I'm still having the fever running in me... the sore in the throat... I gotta concentrate! The weekends are coming. Hang on Jen!
posted by Jenn Tan @ 12:55 PM
Thursday, February 17, 2005
i'm not leading on very well... been sick for 2 days. today, my fever hit 38.8 degrees. i suddenly forget how to handle life as it is. i'm not who i used to be.
gees... what made things worst was the i failed 2 modules! argh... be prepared to fail MA tomorrow! that's why i'm saying i'm not leading on well. everything has been a breeze for me these few years and the rocky road sets in.
i've been trying too hard. at times to meet others' expectations of me. i can't wait to leave this country! i gotta save up ASAP and go to canada next year. i know for sure mum's not gonna help me with the figure. she believes in throwing me in the big ocean. whether i make it or not is another thing. if i can't even make it here how to make it overseas for the long run. perhaps i've been spoon fed how 20 years of my life. i've had it all.
i'm not feeling very well now still... my gastric sets in now. i gotta rest well and everything. i gotta brace myself for the new me.
posted by Jenn Tan @ 3:50 PM
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
I'm really upset... symptoms of me having a bad week has shown...
I failed my RFA! what the hell happened?! Well, kinda expected it... I've not been studying this semester. If this goes on... i'd have to stay on for another half a year. It's the last thing that I want it to happen. Tell me about failing... which is something that has never happened... That's why when it happened, I fall badly!
I kinda predict that I'm gonna fail another 2 more modules. So that'd be 3 retests to go to. This semester, I haven't been studying hard. So I guess it's what I deserve.
Then this week is back to studying again.. I'm really tired. Still in that holiday mood since school started last semester! Jen, you've got another year to graduate! Hang on... don't lose track! You've always been doing good... what's wrong? Why lose that concentration?!
I thought that you'll be loving me
I thought you are the one who'll stay forever
But now forever's come & gone
and I'm still here alone
Cos you were only playing with my heart
I was never waiting for the tears to start
It was you who put the clouds above me
It was you who made the tears fall down
It was you who broke my heart in pieces
It was you who made my blue eyes blue
I never see the trust
I thought that I'll be all you need
In your eyes I thought I saw my heaven
& now my heaven's gone away and I'm here in the cold
You have made believing in a lie
Guess I couldn't see it til I saw the lie
This song describes... Don't wanna talk about it...
Happy Valentine's Day anyways...
posted by Jenn Tan @ 5:02 PM
Thursday, February 03, 2005
well oh well.... 4 papers down! i'm soooo happy! i must say even though i screwed up my first paper... i'm looking forward to the last paper to party! i can't wait! argh!!!
i can't wait to relax & party! get ready for the festive season! woohoo! what's the last paper all about, i've got no idea! but tomorrow no paper, so am going to start preparing tonight! work hard! don't drift away! =)
posted by Jenn Tan @ 10:55 AM
