Monday, January 31, 2005
yah, another great job you've done!
early in the morning, argued with mum. apparently, it spoils my mood! i went down to buy breakfast, the usual tradition all these years was... whatever they wanna buy, they'd tell me. knowing that i go downstairs, still need to ask? then mum said that i'm very selfish. didn't ask what they wanted. Saying that if i get married in future, how would i treat my in-laws. sorry lor, it's a different story then. all these years, it's been like that in our family that whoever goes down, you'd automatically tell that person what you want.
i didn't even mean anything. then she said, ok, sorry, i said the wrong thing. what the heck sia?! i didn't even put the blame on her. just stating the fact right. i was so damn pissed. i've never been on good terms with mum since dad got stroke.
she caused dad to get stroke! I'll never forgive her! it's the hatred now. Lord say no hatred. I'm sorry, i've sinned. she's never loved me anyways. dad's been the one who's been taking care of me. we're just loggerhead at home. don't ask me why.
posted by Jenn Tan @ 12:56 AM
Sunday, January 30, 2005
it's a saturday afternoon... in case you find it amazing that i'm home... yes i'm home! mugging! what else?! gees... i'm so tired... studying slowly... not rushing... keke! guess i just wanna be good...
tonight meeting the girls for supper! yeah! i'm so hungry now though... staying home for dinner with daddy anyways... keep him company...
nothing much actually... sigh... i still can't get over the thought of yesterday's blank?! yes, it's a great impact on me! why all of the sudden?! sigh...
posted by Jenn Tan @ 7:38 AM
Saturday, January 29, 2005
right, now i'm totally screwed! i went for my first paper today and I went totally blank at the last question! what the hell happened to me?!
i could even see what's on Xueting's paper! but i don't even know how to copy! normal humans would copy! what the hell happened to me?! i suck! i'm totally screwed! i can't stop thinking abou it! will i be the only one from the class to fail? to go for re test?! all i ask for is a "just pass". i mean, i know how to do it right... but why?!
thanks... jen, you're not smart after all... why the hell your brain shut down at the last question?! that's not smart! that's the most stupid thing that can ever happen to you throughout your 15 years of studying! never before! kill me...
expecting too much from yourself and this is what you get! tell me about it! cos i've been always doing good... and when this happens, you fall badly... great job!
totally screwed and pissed!
posted by Jenn Tan @ 7:50 AM
Friday, January 28, 2005
i've been home the whole day! argh! doing nothing but mugging, sleeping & eating! you call that life?! yes, it's life of a student! I can't wait to graduate! I seriously can't! I must pull through all exams! I don't wanna stay for another semester! So Lord, give me the strength! I feel so dead all of a sudden!
Everything has changed! I don't even know what I'm doing everyday! Just study & work?! that's all?! I'm still thinking whether to take on university! That's if I can make it though! I doubt so! I'm so tired of studying! It's torturous!
anyways, tomorrow's my first paper! I'm going to do well to start off with the exams! I must not let myself down! It's crucial, you know it Jen! You can do it!
posted by Jenn Tan @ 9:37 AM
