睡不着。

Simply can't get to sleep, worrying incessantly about my future.
I know sometimes (no scratch that, make it ALL the times) we can't really map out everything we want nicely in life, but...when I came up with several "life paths" I was kinda scared.
You know, like "okay so if I take path 1 then my life will turn out this way but then I'll miss out the events that might occur in path 2 blahblahblah".
Just checked job positions available in various international hotel groups; those that I'm interested in aren't located in SG.
My braces couldn't have came at an odder time; I'm thankful that I FINALLY started on them after 5 years of non-activity, but...somehow they are one of the reasons that are keeping me away from relocating overseas.
I don't wanna do my braces halfway here, halfway in some other country because I've heard true horror stories on how braces screw up really badly when that happens.
Nonetheless, glad to have them on (although teeth is hurting/itching right now as I type).

After nights and nights of fretting over uni courses (not much to choose from actually, considering my average grades) and as mentioned, plotting out "life paths", I have decided not to pursue degree yet. Will set aside a year to work full-time in a hospitality position that I will enjoy and will earn an "okaaay la" income.
Am nervous, worried, apprehensive, confused and yet excited at the same time.
Honestly, I don't like the idea of starting uni at a ripe old age of >21, but I think this path should suit me just fine?
I might not achieve As and I might complain about projects but I DO wanna study la.
Now is probably not the time though, since I have more pressing goals to accomplish.

I wanna look back (in five years' time) and go, "WOOH I sure did the right thing for myself".
I feel age catching up already and it's seriously bothering me??
I wanna catch time in my hands and slowly ration it but nooooo, I shouldn't do that.
I should fly faster than time and capture my youth in the best frames.

Okay if I don't sleep now, I'm gonna be a zombie (the shambling-with-head-towards-ground kind and not the L4D-sprinter kind) tomorrow at work.

I can.

I can.
I must.
I will.