Gosh.

I was supposed to do my (yet another) individual project today but I spent most of the afternoon watching K-Pop videos.
I might be 29405 months too late, but.....
Super Junior is actually quite.....cute.
(hides face)

I like that whatshisname, there are so many of them!!
OH his name is Kibum and he's bloody cuteeeeee. :D


And Hankyung looks just like, it's quite disconcerting.

No more changing your mind, Diane Lim.

Okay, I've made up my mind to apply for uni after all.
Really wanna study at HKU but too bad, I'm not rich enough to afford the tuition fees.
I'm just gonna try to breeze through uni and do well.
Just wanna get it on already, like chepat chepat!!
After that it's hopefully _____ for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Boombaboom

Gotta wake up early tomorrow for ___ Corporate Induction and frankly I'm not very keen on going but I have no choice.

I haven't finished my individual project yet, good luck to me.

I miss secondary school times, albeit not the fats. LOL.

I want life to be good, life to be great, life to be fabuloso (in no particular order).

No scratch that, I NEED life to be WOOHOO-ishly happy. :)

WORKING ON IT!

Woozy!

I'm supposed to start on my individual project & a group project but I am so darn lazy.
Actually not really la, the fact that I even bothered to turn on my laptop (after DAYS of procrastinating) shows that I'm making an effort!
I'm waiting for the completion of my Microsoft Office trial download since I reformatted my com 4859 times since I left NP and I don't have any MS Office in my laptop anymore. :(

I extracted my 2nd left bottom molar yesterday and it felt like someone punched me in my left cheek.
The dentist had to drill the tooth to loosen it so that he could successfully yank it out of its comfort zone.
Extracted my 2nd right bottom molar two weeks back and it wasn't as painful as yesterday's.
I guess it was hanging looser in its "socket"?
Lol.
Kinda apprehensive about starting my whole braces treatment because I know years of suffering is going to follow.
It's sad how we humans put ourselves through the most evil painful procedures just to achieve a better external image (external image?).

I'm balding very badly. The $$$ hair-loss shampoo that I bought makes my hair extremely dry and I've stopped using it but my hair is (obviously) still dropping quite badly.
Bald patches!!! Bald patches!!!
Shit man, I'm only 20!!!!!

Blogging is actually really fun! :)


*edit:

I feel so, so, so, so, so stupid & angry with myself now for acting the way I did before towards meaningless people.

Plastic - man made but harmful to earth and self.

Imagine after you pass on and you burn your body.
Your loved ones sift through your remains to pick some bones for storage in an urn -
But they find bits of plastic!!

Lol okay I know it's a terrible metaphor (metaphor?).

On a sidenote some idiot is hammering something at this time.

I'm not completely against cosmetic surgery because it's true that women want to look their best when they get older.
Note - when they get older.
When I say older, I mean 50 and above?
I don't understand how women can want to go under the knife at a tender age of 23.
It's absolutely ridiculous.
Okay no let me correct myself: I guess (I GUESS) liposuctions and tummy tucks are reasonable but changing your body parts completely?
I don't know.
It's kinda freaky to not look like the person you have been for the n years prior to surgery.
Take for example Heidi Montag.
She's only 23 but yet she's done all the damage possible to her own body.
What about maintenance for the MANY MANY years to come?
Not the money but the looks.
What guarantees nose jobs to turn out exactly the same?
Or Dawn Yang.
Yes, she's pretty in photos but when I watch videos of her, she looks kinda like a freaky doll.
Are the self esteem of these ladies so, so bad that they really have to resort to such drastic measures?
Maybe a tiny tweak or two around here and there is okayyyy, but the whole face??
I know I'm contradicting myself but my ultimate point is, do people really need such drastic surgeries to alter their self-confidence?
Wouldn't they think that this alteration might just be temporary and what consequences to come might be far worse than their initial "problem"?
I'm just kinda appalled by how people get so obsessed with beauty and all that they have to resort to such sad procedures.
:/

-----------------------

edit*
It's not a "crime" to be not pretty, but a crime to be fat?

Pensive.

I don't know if pensive is the right word to use, but...
I'm getting an uncomfortable feeling actually.
Just browsed through some photos of friends on FB (see this is why I don't like to go FB) and I'm left feeling.....sad?
I don't know.
Just feels really uncomfortable seeing how friends change over the years, the different lifestyles we all lead separately, the cultures we grow up in, etc etc.

How is it that some people can stay the same "forever" and some change so drastically?
How is it that some people loosen up and some loosen up even more?
How is it that after so many years, I actually still care for them and yet they don't seem to even remember a basic friendship?

I'm not saying I'm a goddamn saint, I totally am not.
I've made terrible fucked up mistakes before and all that.
We all make our own choices and it's true that none are right or wrong because really, who is to determine what's right/wrong?
But.......
Some choices are questionable (to me)?

I'm not judging anyone here don't get me wrong.
I'm totally not the person to judge anyone and I don't wish to either.
It's just...........

Sigh.
It makes me wonder whether these friends actually think back and remember the good old times where we were all on the same page.
One of my 2010 resolutions is to find back friendships but honestly?
It's kinda tough when we've all changed so drastically!
Oh dear oh dear.
It's quite saddd.
:(

Being single is so liberating.

What I enjoy most about being single is that you don't have to put up with situations where it's not your fault but the other party spoils your mood entirely.

On a side note, my gums are still sore and I can feel a sharp ache (sharp ache?).

The innocence of a child.

I sat down in my study room (I used it as a study room back in primary school days but gradually it became a cupboards clothes and books room) with the intentions of FINALLY starting on my packing for BKK.
Saw a notebook lying on the luggage and I flipped it open to see what it was.
Turns out, it's an old notebook that my sis used to record her expenses when she was in BKK.
But the point is, the notebook was used by my brother when he was in primary 2.
I saw what he wrote as the notebook subject and the contents page and immediately started feeling choked up.
It's so darn innocent.
The bluetooth function on my laptop isn't working now so I can't transfer the photos I took of the notebook, but this is what the notebook subject is and what the contents are:

Subject: Moster fight I
Contents page (Assignments):
Moster oner
The start
First fight
2 fight
F king vs Dan
R king vs Dan
New player
Vs the orang league
Dom vs Sam
The last match

Yes, monster and orange spelt wrongly. Lol.
I think he was fighting/writing imaginary pokemon fights in a notebook or something?
The cutest thing is, normally there is a column for parents to sign to initate that they have already seen the results of the assignments right?
My bro actually did that } thing and scribbled his own signature there.

Oh how I miss my 3-12 years old brother.
Many times I catch myself wishing that I was much older and I could really see how cute he was back then.
As the age gap between us is only four years, I have to admit I was always annoyed and annoying him about something.
Now, at a much older age, I look back and it really grips my heart to think I actually missed out all the sweet innocence (albeit definitely annoying at times) of my younger sibling.
My bro and I do get along way much better now, so at least I'll remember how he (was) in his sixteen years old form. :)

I often wonder whether my sis thinks of me that way, lol.
But all that aside, my point of blogging is to remind myself how I really have to ensure I remember every different stages of my life spent with my loved ones.
I turn into a mush whenever I see things that make me nostalgic.
(shrugs guiltily)

Sigh, no wonder parents always cry/get all choked up during their child's wedding!

The worst enemy to face.

Diane is a sad girl.

I've discovered the nicest scent I've ever came across in my life so far -

Gold by Amouage.

AND I've also discovered that it's BLOODY expensive -

Going at SGD160 just for a 10ml spray.

Whattheheckkkkkk

It's a sad, sad situation but it's not gonna get more absurd.

2010 Resolutions:

#10 To find back "lost" friendships

Today is Y's 21st and I've already wished her Happy Birthday.
The last time we met up, it was 5 years ago.
She was my best friend back in lower sec - the one who stood by me and REALLY patiently listened to my horribly childish silly ramblings and all.
We grew apart eventually due to personality changes.

It's just sad thinking how friendships are lost as years go by.
Honestly, who determines a friendship to be forgotten?
If both parties make an effort to keep the friendship relatively alive/solid, it can and will last for years.
Unfortunately, everyone changes and moves on with their respective lives.
Days of the past are referred as good old times when they could had still been referred to in the present tense if people bothered to keep in close touch.
I know I don't sound very coherent but I'm very overwhelmed with...sadness?
I don't know if sadness is the right word to use but it's just sad to see a close friendship deteriorate into something that resembles more of an acquaintance.

I'm not referring just to Y; so many other close friendships I had back in secondary school have been forgotten.
I'm determined to recover back friendships that were, and still are, so dear to me.
I don't wanna live to regret in any way.

Complicated.

Tell me,
Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?

2010 resolutions:

#1 EARN A LOT OF MONEY (okay kinda vague I know)
#2 SAVE A LOT OF MONEY (likewise)
#3 Spend more time with my family
#4 Start driving
#5 Start braces
#6 Start pilates
#7 Lose all the weight I gained in BJ
#8 Study hard for uni?
#9 Make more good friends

That's all I can think of at the moment, lol.