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Monday, July 27, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
a good weekend
these few days have been really really busy. on top of that, i found out that my schedule's filled till schl starts, with only one or two days to take a breather :( however, these few days are passing joyfully, with an awesome knowledge that the God is with me. His peace, joy and love has been felt even more in this past weekend, and im so grateful for His presence and His assurance.
yesterday during BS, Auntie Kum Lin talked about loving the unlovable. this point came about when we were talking about the Beatitudes. (Matt 5:7) Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. this point convicted me strongly, and at that point i reflected on whether i've been fufilling this command, if i've been choosing to care largely for certain individuals that i choose, and not do the same for the rest. God revealed to me that i've been sacrificing more of my time, my effort, to reach out and to care more for those whom i feel i have a 'connection' with, and those who i can click better with. This is quite disturbing as ive lacked effort in reaching out to those who i feel are better taken care of in the hands of others due to different personalities. However the Scripture commands me to love everyone regardless of who they are.. and to love would mean to spend time with them, to show equal care and concern as i would if im in that situation.
During worship today i was reflecting again on this, and i was asking God to teach me to love unconditionally. to love the unlovable, and not to pick and choose who to love more. I felt as if i was hitting a brick wall when i asked God to teach me, until the Holy Spirit instructed me to receive His love. to not struggle with trying to conjure up more love in myself, but to receive from the source of Love. and that reminded me of the verse - Not by might, Nor by power, but by the Spirit.
I was so encouraged by that. so encouraged that I had a bigger God who could help me in whatever i fail to do, and in also my weaknesses & faults.
such a patient God, we serve :)
would like to end with this song by Chris Tomlin - Made to Worship. was listening to this while gg to church (introed it to my mom too!!) and i hereby declare, this is my current crush. (on the fact that it speeds up my heart rate)
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Varsity Christian Fellowship FOC!!
fantastic camp.
The Message
the way they dig into the word.. it inspires me. the teaching/preaching by this guy tt is now studying theology in scotland was REALLY good.
topic one: why christians study (day 1)
topic two: engaging God's world - our small hopes and God's shalomic kingdom (day 2)
topic three: waiting on God - an exposition of Isaiah 40:27-31 (day 3)
topic three impacted me the most... think i shall share some of the notes i took here.. be blessed!
theme verse - Isaiah 40:27 to 31. Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the Lord, my cause is disregarded by my God"? Do you not know? have you not heard? the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Introduction. historical backgrd
Isaiah- a book based on prophecy. plight of Israel- moving into exile/ destruction. they have forsaken the Lord and turned away from Him.
Isaiah 1:10 - theyre compared to Sodom. whole of Isaiah 1- emphasis on religious practice and ritual. hearts distant although they mantain religious practices.
Israel's position (v27) - shattered hopes and dreams. their position of exile's a way of God disciplining His pple.
Israel perplexed - in the stage of exile. perplexed due to the tension of their beliefs. theyre no longer in the rhelm of God's blessings, therefore theyre confused. davidic convenant in 2 samuel 7 states that God would bless them and discipline them (defn of Fatherhood of God) to bring them to maturity. however, Israel forgot about the discipline part and thought that the blessings of God would always be upon them. thought that God favours His pple at the expense of His Holiness and His justice. Christian life therefore should be a time of refinement and blessings. crisis of our faith because of our inbalanced picture of God?
Israel's problem (v28-29) --"Do you not know, Have you not heard?"-- that cry is an expression of a fundamental problem in Israel's spirituality.
1) lack of trust in God's omnipotent power. turning to men, not God. had political alliances that day- trusted & depended more on them than on God. v15- Prophet challenging viewpoint of human powers-- the nations are described as inconsequential and insignificant, contrasted with God.
2) did not trust in God's wisdom (v28)
William Caper: Judge not the Lord by our feeble senses. saints in the past- after experiencing Gods power, they give a name to God. they knew the essence of God. made a personal discovery.
3) does not trust God in His benevolence. rooted in Gen chp 3. Adam and Eve did not trust that God was a good God and He knew whats best for us. think God is out to get us.
Israel's promise (v30-31)
God would give them strength beyond what they have. contrast btwn youth vs eagle. if you rely on own strength, can only go as far as your tow feet can bring, compared to the distance the eagle can bring. goes much furthur than your native energy can carry you.
Israel's posture- wait.
original meaning of 'renew' in hebrew- changing energy source, not topping up of energy.
Israel- must change their energy source and rely on God! need to let Him finish His work of providence in their life. eagles fly slowest when theyre flapping their wings and not relying on the wind.
C.S Lewis- "Christian life has never been tried and found wanting, but it has always been found to difficult to be tried."
Workshop - social actions
i signed up for the social actions workshop. had many interesting discussions & watched parts of 'amazing grace'- the life of William Wilberforce. rly respect and admire him. his perserverance, his sacrificial heart. reminds me not to be so inward looking in my Christian life, but to also observe my surroundings and the places God has put me at in society, to use my position to glorify God.
some good quotes...
'To our most bitter opponents we will say: "throw us in jail and we will still love you. bomb our houses and threaten our children and we will still love you. beat us and leave us half dead and we will still love you. but be ye assured that we will wear you down by our capacity to suffer. one day we shall so appeal to your heart and conscience that we shall win you in the process, and our victory will be a double victory.'
- Dr Martin Luther King Jr.
"If the Christian mission is to be modelled on Christ's mission, it will surely involve for us, as it did for him, an entering into other people's worlds. In evangelism it will mean entering their thought world, and the world of their tradegy and lostness, in order to share Christ with them where they are. In social activity it will mean a willingness to renounce the comfort and security of our own cutural backgrd in order to give ourselves in service to pple of another culture, whose needs we may never before have known or experienced. Incarnational mission, whether evangelistic or social or both, necessitates a costly identification with pple in their actual situations. Jesus of Nazareth was moved with compassion by the sight of needy human beings, whether sick or bereaved, hungry, harassed or helpless; should not his pple's compassion by aroused by the same sights?" -- Issues facing Christians Today.
"In our postmordern age, there is a confusion betwwen tolerance and laissez-faire to such an extent that it is sometimes believed that to disagree with somebody is to be intolerant of them. true tolerance, which respects the views of others while disagreeing with them, has be come an empty tolerance which does not bother to engage and amounts to indifference.."
Friends
I made amazing friendships!!!! with my og and with random pple outside my og. it's so heartwarming to know that there are so many sincere Christians out there chasing after God- the best common denominator! :)
Inter-denominational
once again, i think it's really cool to see pple from all denominations gathering together. although our beliefs are rather different, and it may be challenging sometimes, the more impt thing is that we believe in the same God, trust in the same God, & love Jesus. God looks at the heart, not the outward manifestations that we mostly differ from. Sincere hearts that hunger after Him, that longs to do His will. Obedient submissive beings, hearts that respect Him and treats Him seriously, souls that truly seeks Him because of who He is, and not what He can give.
Im truly humbled by this camp. the sacrifices that i see pple give to God, the respect and honour that they bring to God...
there's loads more i can share if time permits. but yea thats it for now.. :)
The Message
the way they dig into the word.. it inspires me. the teaching/preaching by this guy tt is now studying theology in scotland was REALLY good.
topic one: why christians study (day 1)
topic two: engaging God's world - our small hopes and God's shalomic kingdom (day 2)
topic three: waiting on God - an exposition of Isaiah 40:27-31 (day 3)
topic three impacted me the most... think i shall share some of the notes i took here.. be blessed!
theme verse - Isaiah 40:27 to 31. Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the Lord, my cause is disregarded by my God"? Do you not know? have you not heard? the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Introduction. historical backgrd
Isaiah- a book based on prophecy. plight of Israel- moving into exile/ destruction. they have forsaken the Lord and turned away from Him.
Isaiah 1:10 - theyre compared to Sodom. whole of Isaiah 1- emphasis on religious practice and ritual. hearts distant although they mantain religious practices.
Israel's position (v27) - shattered hopes and dreams. their position of exile's a way of God disciplining His pple.
Israel perplexed - in the stage of exile. perplexed due to the tension of their beliefs. theyre no longer in the rhelm of God's blessings, therefore theyre confused. davidic convenant in 2 samuel 7 states that God would bless them and discipline them (defn of Fatherhood of God) to bring them to maturity. however, Israel forgot about the discipline part and thought that the blessings of God would always be upon them. thought that God favours His pple at the expense of His Holiness and His justice. Christian life therefore should be a time of refinement and blessings. crisis of our faith because of our inbalanced picture of God?
Israel's problem (v28-29) --"Do you not know, Have you not heard?"-- that cry is an expression of a fundamental problem in Israel's spirituality.
1) lack of trust in God's omnipotent power. turning to men, not God. had political alliances that day- trusted & depended more on them than on God. v15- Prophet challenging viewpoint of human powers-- the nations are described as inconsequential and insignificant, contrasted with God.
2) did not trust in God's wisdom (v28)
William Caper: Judge not the Lord by our feeble senses. saints in the past- after experiencing Gods power, they give a name to God. they knew the essence of God. made a personal discovery.
3) does not trust God in His benevolence. rooted in Gen chp 3. Adam and Eve did not trust that God was a good God and He knew whats best for us. think God is out to get us.
Israel's promise (v30-31)
God would give them strength beyond what they have. contrast btwn youth vs eagle. if you rely on own strength, can only go as far as your tow feet can bring, compared to the distance the eagle can bring. goes much furthur than your native energy can carry you.
Israel's posture- wait.
original meaning of 'renew' in hebrew- changing energy source, not topping up of energy.
Israel- must change their energy source and rely on God! need to let Him finish His work of providence in their life. eagles fly slowest when theyre flapping their wings and not relying on the wind.
C.S Lewis- "Christian life has never been tried and found wanting, but it has always been found to difficult to be tried."
Workshop - social actions
i signed up for the social actions workshop. had many interesting discussions & watched parts of 'amazing grace'- the life of William Wilberforce. rly respect and admire him. his perserverance, his sacrificial heart. reminds me not to be so inward looking in my Christian life, but to also observe my surroundings and the places God has put me at in society, to use my position to glorify God.
some good quotes...
'To our most bitter opponents we will say: "throw us in jail and we will still love you. bomb our houses and threaten our children and we will still love you. beat us and leave us half dead and we will still love you. but be ye assured that we will wear you down by our capacity to suffer. one day we shall so appeal to your heart and conscience that we shall win you in the process, and our victory will be a double victory.'
- Dr Martin Luther King Jr.
"If the Christian mission is to be modelled on Christ's mission, it will surely involve for us, as it did for him, an entering into other people's worlds. In evangelism it will mean entering their thought world, and the world of their tradegy and lostness, in order to share Christ with them where they are. In social activity it will mean a willingness to renounce the comfort and security of our own cutural backgrd in order to give ourselves in service to pple of another culture, whose needs we may never before have known or experienced. Incarnational mission, whether evangelistic or social or both, necessitates a costly identification with pple in their actual situations. Jesus of Nazareth was moved with compassion by the sight of needy human beings, whether sick or bereaved, hungry, harassed or helpless; should not his pple's compassion by aroused by the same sights?" -- Issues facing Christians Today.
"In our postmordern age, there is a confusion betwwen tolerance and laissez-faire to such an extent that it is sometimes believed that to disagree with somebody is to be intolerant of them. true tolerance, which respects the views of others while disagreeing with them, has be come an empty tolerance which does not bother to engage and amounts to indifference.."
Friends
I made amazing friendships!!!! with my og and with random pple outside my og. it's so heartwarming to know that there are so many sincere Christians out there chasing after God- the best common denominator! :)
Inter-denominational
once again, i think it's really cool to see pple from all denominations gathering together. although our beliefs are rather different, and it may be challenging sometimes, the more impt thing is that we believe in the same God, trust in the same God, & love Jesus. God looks at the heart, not the outward manifestations that we mostly differ from. Sincere hearts that hunger after Him, that longs to do His will. Obedient submissive beings, hearts that respect Him and treats Him seriously, souls that truly seeks Him because of who He is, and not what He can give.
Im truly humbled by this camp. the sacrifices that i see pple give to God, the respect and honour that they bring to God...
there's loads more i can share if time permits. but yea thats it for now.. :)
Thursday, July 9, 2009
after 8 months ... after 8 short months..
disclaimer: *the remaining no. of days is brought about by minusing the vcf camp, all the various uni talks and stuff, and days where i will be busy.
OMGOSH I HAVE ONLY *FIVE WHOLE DAYS LEFT TO REST, MEET UP WITH PPLE, DO THE STUFF THAT I WANNA DO, GET READY FOR SCHOOL & HAVE FUN BEFORE I START SCHOOOL AHHHH SOMEONE PINCH ME THE HOLS ARE GOING WAYY TOO FAST...
i got to treasure this 24x5 hours of slacking time before the books dominate once again :(
OMGOSH I HAVE ONLY *FIVE WHOLE DAYS LEFT TO REST, MEET UP WITH PPLE, DO THE STUFF THAT I WANNA DO, GET READY FOR SCHOOL & HAVE FUN BEFORE I START SCHOOOL AHHHH SOMEONE PINCH ME THE HOLS ARE GOING WAYY TOO FAST...
i got to treasure this 24x5 hours of slacking time before the books dominate once again :(
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Taste the Source!
back from an awesome camp, an interesting camp, a camp tt spoke tons to me although it lasted for only two days and a half. i'm gonna try to make this post as detailed as possible :)
Met my grp at clementi mrt. was really lost cos they werent holding any signs or smthing so i was caught in the middle of two grps which, after some time, i realized were not my grps hahah. met this really funky girl who started smiling at me & after we found out that we were both gg to the same camp we asked arnd so as to look for our grp. hahah. found my grp members after awhile(CG09) - Limin, Joey, Ming Han & DAVID (im sry i left you out!! =()
ok now i feel that im blogging on details that are really quite unimportant.. lol. so i'm gna just summarize the day and talk about the experiences i had and the stuff i've learnt, and my general opinions about this camp. :)
upon reaching the camp site, two other grp members arrived. one of which was Wee Shi aka Grace. now THIS was such a coincidence, cos she was from GM - two years my senior- and she was from choir!!! when we saw each other we were shocked laaa hahaahah it was a really pleasant surprise to see her again. :) a divine appointment i must say. the other grp member was from AC, which was also called Grace.
for the rest of the day we had worship, ice breakers, games, sharing, supper..etc. the sharing & praying for each other part was fantastic. i was really encouraged by all the testimonies & experiences tt CG9 had. i had a great time getting to know all of them. they're really really nice pple.. heh. and the creation of our cheer was a really funny experience i must say... hahaha. all those crazy ideas...
slept arnd 12plus.
Day 1
Met my grp at clementi mrt. was really lost cos they werent holding any signs or smthing so i was caught in the middle of two grps which, after some time, i realized were not my grps hahah. met this really funky girl who started smiling at me & after we found out that we were both gg to the same camp we asked arnd so as to look for our grp. hahah. found my grp members after awhile(CG09) - Limin, Joey, Ming Han & DAVID (im sry i left you out!! =()
ok now i feel that im blogging on details that are really quite unimportant.. lol. so i'm gna just summarize the day and talk about the experiences i had and the stuff i've learnt, and my general opinions about this camp. :)
upon reaching the camp site, two other grp members arrived. one of which was Wee Shi aka Grace. now THIS was such a coincidence, cos she was from GM - two years my senior- and she was from choir!!! when we saw each other we were shocked laaa hahaahah it was a really pleasant surprise to see her again. :) a divine appointment i must say. the other grp member was from AC, which was also called Grace.
for the rest of the day we had worship, ice breakers, games, sharing, supper..etc. the sharing & praying for each other part was fantastic. i was really encouraged by all the testimonies & experiences tt CG9 had. i had a great time getting to know all of them. they're really really nice pple.. heh. and the creation of our cheer was a really funny experience i must say... hahaha. all those crazy ideas...
slept arnd 12plus.
Day 2
woke up at arnd 7? had morn worship & message.. games.. grp bonding time.. sharing.. had this really cool activity where the leaders roleplayed as representations of pple from different pple grps eg. gays/lesbians, clubbers, pluralistics, atheist, emo.. etc, and we as a grp had to try and reach out & evangalise to all these pple. this is one of the highlights of the camp for me. this is my first time doing street-e (trial run) and i felt that it taught me the tools of how to reach out even more effectively. Limin, my grp leader, pulled me aside after that and asked me to share with the camp about how i felt about this, and what i learnt.. i almost declined cos i was really really scared, nervous and all (hundred over pple lah =S) . hahaha. but turned out real fine (although i made a few mistakes out of nervousness & was laughed at sigh) and i had a free book! thank God. supper.. card games ( w everyone ) & heart to heart talks (with wee shi and limin) till 4 plus in the morn. made more friends cos of interactions between grps & spontanous convos & mutual friends...had fun while at that.
Day 3
woke up at 6plus/7 feeling exhausted but still in high spirits.. started brainstorming for our presentation like half an hour before performance time.. some of the performances were hilarious.
ok those were the summaries. (haha got quite tired of writing them as you can tell from the diminishing length..)
Experiences.
1) my first time worshipping in a setting outside church, outside my usual comfort zone. it was a really diff worship experience - it felt abit restricted. but i could sense God's presence all the same. this camp got my exposed to fellowshipping with bros and sistas in Christ from different denominations. interacting w pple from a diversity of denominations made me think, alot. and i think God was trying to show me how impt it is for the body of Christ to stick together, and to get to understand one another better. to embrace the fact that although we have different belief systems, we share a common denominator - Jesus Christ, and a personal relationship with Him. i saw that in almost everyone i met, most of them from diff denominations. their testimonies, their intimate prayers to our Father, their openness and super nice personalities all testify to the fact that they love God, and they have a close walk with Him. it doesnt take manifestations of the Spirit or supernatural stuff to be a true blue Christian. what matters much more is the sincierity of our heart in pursuing Christ for who He is... and our desire to draw near to His side. i was greatly encouraged at the sight of this, and i felt that the Holy Spirit was trying to emphasize this truth to me using this camp. i feel that it was also rather timely that before the camp started i talked w Joel (Hannah's bf) online about the diff denominations and stuff. it sorta opened my mind up and got me thinking and sharing with him what i felt about it - that it's so impt to keep an open mind, and to build inter-denominational relationships. it's the love of Christ that binds us together :)
2) my grp was wonderful. seriously, theyre super nice pple! and our grp leaders, Limin & Joey.. I TOTALLY LOVE THEM. more meet ups coming up!!
3) evangelism. campus crusade is all about evangelism, and im so glad that the camps' emphasis was on that. so really truly glad. while the role-playing was taking place, i felt my Spirit really crying out for the saving of souls - this camp shook me to reality - the reality of millions out there who needs to know the living God. even tho it was role playing, i felt myself crying internally esp for the emo person and i think God breathed a certain hunger in me to want to do street-e. this part of my Christian life has somehow been dormant for quite awhile. although i've always been wanting and longing to just give out tracks on the street, or to do street-e with friends and all, i've never ever found the courage to & i keep thinking about the govt and stuff, and how it's banned in Sgpore, and the sensitivity about racial stuff and everything.. but im trusting God to open out opportunities for me to sow seeds into prebelievers...
all in all, this camp was an eye opener to me. in fact, uni life is rather different and new to me.. exiciting yet scary(NUS is so big + im so bad at directions = LOST) but im trusting that He was provide the next step for me (wht courses should i take..) and He will lead me to taking the right CCA too...
next up, Varsity Christian Fellowship!! :)
P.S: a shout out to Hannah - sry once again for missing your flight. am with you in Spirit. & cya soon ;)
Friday, July 3, 2009
i love this song to bits...
i sung this so much yesterday Hannah woke up this morning with the tune in her head... lol. sry Nahhan. and Joel. ha. (i knw you guys are reading this) ytd was a fab day btw. swimming... shopping at expo (was a super crazy time..)...thai express...pnp. not the activity itself.. but the people within it & God present in it.
and today's going be another fantabulous day woohoo bringin the patriotism out baby
Thursday, July 2, 2009
g'day
four grps/people asked me for ice age yesterday. Is ice age that good??!! Sigh. this pair, animation and $7.50, dont really go along well with me.
met up with agent & george & chipmunk (all undercover) yesterday for lunch @ city hall. made friends with two of chipmunk's and georges' friends. talked to the girl for abit and it was time to be off. sigh couldnt spend more time with them. but anyway the girl S asked for my number from chipmunk. she wanted to intro me to two of her other friends who are in NUS (seniors) FASS.and i just said like only one sentence to her when i met her.. haha. she's real sweet :)
i love meeting new people. that being said, i have a campus crusade camp to go to next week from mon-wed! JT and J's comin along too.. oh and Laura Or! hahaha am lookin forward to it ;)
i have a sudden urge to go cycling. or rather, to the beach. anyone interested?
met up with agent & george & chipmunk (all undercover) yesterday for lunch @ city hall. made friends with two of chipmunk's and georges' friends. talked to the girl for abit and it was time to be off. sigh couldnt spend more time with them. but anyway the girl S asked for my number from chipmunk. she wanted to intro me to two of her other friends who are in NUS (seniors) FASS.and i just said like only one sentence to her when i met her.. haha. she's real sweet :)
i love meeting new people. that being said, i have a campus crusade camp to go to next week from mon-wed! JT and J's comin along too.. oh and Laura Or! hahaha am lookin forward to it ;)
i have a sudden urge to go cycling. or rather, to the beach. anyone interested?
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
friendship
i used to believe i was right, but maybe i was blind then. mayb i had been wrong all along.
wrong, that people would easily open up, share themselves, take the time to appreciate, be willing enough to care. i refused to believe that many are the opposite of this. but what if the it was true? what if wanting to see the best in you, to concentrate on the best in you, is just plain avoidance to the fact that the things that i see as flaws walked hand in hand with your best? that it couldnt be avoided all along because it would hinder a blossoming friendship?
am i naive to think that everyone works hard to change themselves to be a better person tommorrow? to place the interests of those arnd them first? to make a good friend feel as comfortable as possible, as loved as possible... to care deeply for them as if they were jewels on a crown?
whenever i find a good friend, i find more than a diamond. i find something that is priceless. arent friends supposed to build each other up, to support each other, to share things thats laid in their heart, and never hold back?
isnt that the small print on a new page of a friendship? - to be a contributor, a confidante. fun fills the cover, yes, but secrets fill the pages, and a lock seals the lips.
right now the pages are still pretty much blank in my memory of you.
but you know what, i know you have your reasons. or mayb the feeling isnt mutual. or mayb my idea of friendship is flawed. i mean, everyone expects different things from a friendship. mayb our ideals are clashing.mayb we hav different perspectives on friendship.mayb girls see it differently. mayb you have a different way of showing care to a friend. mayb im just so wrong about this whole thing. there are so many possible reasons.but in any case, i want something real. something honest - without all the held back words and emotions. i want participation. enthusiasm keeps me going. any lack of it leaves me dying. i get my energy off people.
relationships dont grow overnight. they need to be watered, nurtured, effort has to be put in. you dont just stand by if you want a flower.
if i dont see the other hand clapping, i see no motivation to keep clapping also. because soon, i'll get exhausted. right now, i'm just rly tired. not only you. and i see tiredness as a form of something.. something slowly dying.
you said that you havent changed much. i think that was the problem - i think i wanted you to change, or at least get the hint. sigh. mayb it's just a part of you i can't accept - nonchalancy. thats why we clash.
mayb we're just too different people wanting different things.
if it really is dying, i want to tell you that.. i had good times while it lasted.
mental note: 1) i need to be more accepting. to learn to appreciate the traits found in every friend. thats what makes a friend an individual. and then, i need to learn how to live with the different traits found in different pple.
2)i need to eliminate all expectations of a friend, or i would not be loving unconditionally. if a friend has nothing to offer, would i still be a friend to that person? God, fill me up with your love, because only You can cause me to love like tht.
3)friendships are not selfish. theyre selfless. i consider me selfish writing this post.because i knw im wanting something from you.
dont change because of this. i must change instead.
Help me, Jesus.
wrong, that people would easily open up, share themselves, take the time to appreciate, be willing enough to care. i refused to believe that many are the opposite of this. but what if the it was true? what if wanting to see the best in you, to concentrate on the best in you, is just plain avoidance to the fact that the things that i see as flaws walked hand in hand with your best? that it couldnt be avoided all along because it would hinder a blossoming friendship?
am i naive to think that everyone works hard to change themselves to be a better person tommorrow? to place the interests of those arnd them first? to make a good friend feel as comfortable as possible, as loved as possible... to care deeply for them as if they were jewels on a crown?
whenever i find a good friend, i find more than a diamond. i find something that is priceless. arent friends supposed to build each other up, to support each other, to share things thats laid in their heart, and never hold back?
isnt that the small print on a new page of a friendship? - to be a contributor, a confidante. fun fills the cover, yes, but secrets fill the pages, and a lock seals the lips.
right now the pages are still pretty much blank in my memory of you.
but you know what, i know you have your reasons. or mayb the feeling isnt mutual. or mayb my idea of friendship is flawed. i mean, everyone expects different things from a friendship. mayb our ideals are clashing.mayb we hav different perspectives on friendship.mayb girls see it differently. mayb you have a different way of showing care to a friend. mayb im just so wrong about this whole thing. there are so many possible reasons.but in any case, i want something real. something honest - without all the held back words and emotions. i want participation. enthusiasm keeps me going. any lack of it leaves me dying. i get my energy off people.
relationships dont grow overnight. they need to be watered, nurtured, effort has to be put in. you dont just stand by if you want a flower.
if i dont see the other hand clapping, i see no motivation to keep clapping also. because soon, i'll get exhausted. right now, i'm just rly tired. not only you. and i see tiredness as a form of something.. something slowly dying.
you said that you havent changed much. i think that was the problem - i think i wanted you to change, or at least get the hint. sigh. mayb it's just a part of you i can't accept - nonchalancy. thats why we clash.
mayb we're just too different people wanting different things.
if it really is dying, i want to tell you that.. i had good times while it lasted.
mental note: 1) i need to be more accepting. to learn to appreciate the traits found in every friend. thats what makes a friend an individual. and then, i need to learn how to live with the different traits found in different pple.
2)i need to eliminate all expectations of a friend, or i would not be loving unconditionally. if a friend has nothing to offer, would i still be a friend to that person? God, fill me up with your love, because only You can cause me to love like tht.
3)friendships are not selfish. theyre selfless. i consider me selfish writing this post.because i knw im wanting something from you.
dont change because of this. i must change instead.
Help me, Jesus.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Happy Birthday Lyanna!
met Hannah and Joel for lunch today. Interesting lunch i had. I had great fun with you guys!!! wall/mall, cowboy on a horse, the bullet... etc.. it was memorable. thanks :) (i know you guys are reading this) then it was transformers with elnaam lyanna max and jon tan. thought that it should have had a higher rating, like NC 16 or smthing. they defn had some nasty puns.. (lol elnaam had to make it explicit) & then lyanna's birthday dinner at hotpot culture (guess how they derived tt name- one pot, different cultures) LOL. me & jon were laughing at it hard. it's amusing.
anw lyanna broke the pinnata that took super long to make... hahahha. all the newspapers & glue & hard work gone in a smash... lol.
sleepy aft the movie.. so dinner just kinda passed in a blur for me. i dont think i ate 20 bucks worth of stuff due to the 4 cups of ice lemon tea which filled me up.
yawn. tired.
anw lyanna broke the pinnata that took super long to make... hahahha. all the newspapers & glue & hard work gone in a smash... lol.
sleepy aft the movie.. so dinner just kinda passed in a blur for me. i dont think i ate 20 bucks worth of stuff due to the 4 cups of ice lemon tea which filled me up.
yawn. tired.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
agents at work.
one of the more interesting convos..
Divinia says:
joy f.
are you coming tmr.
you better be.
or i'll..
i'll..
tell CIA who you really are.
joy f. says:
you'll?
OH NO
NO, YOU WOULDNT
Divinia says:
yes.
i'll betray.
i'm sorry.
joy f. says:
that serious?!?!
Divinia says:
but i HAVE TO.
yes.
joy f. says:
you leave me no choice
Divinia says:
command from the top
joy f. says:
i mean
Divinia says:
the meeting tmr is of importance
urgent.
joy f. says:
its a matter of life and death here
Divinia says:
yes. your life.
so you better decide well.
furthermore, during your funeral, tomato juice will be split on.. your..
you knw where.(shirt)
so if you wanna look glam and die late,
come tmr.
joy f. says:
OH NO
THIS IS A TOUGH CHOICE
sry capslock was on hee
i shall betray u first! muhaha
Divinia says:
you .. you .. YOU...
you wouldnt dare
cos..
i got the tomato juice
as my weapon
for tmr.
joy f. says:
OH NO
not the dreaded thing
traumatizing experiences are returning to my memory
Divinia says:
yes. i'll torture you like tht.
so,
better not betray me
joy f. says:
no
Divinia says:
no?
so
you agree?
or disagree?
youre being very vague here agent 398273
joy f. says:
AHAA
u leave me no choice agent 12389-148-5
i hope u like my nick(evil dive)
heh
Divinia says:
i take it as dive.
i hope there's no other negative connotation to it
joy f. says:
heh
spelling error laa (evil divi)
Divinia says:
this.
spells.
WAR
joy f. says:
WAR IT SHALL BE
fine i'll go tmr
BUT
u may have won a battle, but you'll lose the war ;d
Divinia says:
stop thinking that that statement was smart.
it's .. stupid.
look at my nick (joy is evil-er than mojojojo and the brain (and pinky) and tom (and jerry))
i hope you think twice and surrender before your rep. is ruined
joy f. says:
ohMG
that is epic
Divinia says:
of course. i wrote it
joy f. says:
EPIC FAIL I MEAN
hahahha
:)
all of em are harmless lil lovable cartoon villains
Divinia says:
i'm comparing you to
childishness
=)
i'm glad you notice that
joy f. says:
eh look at mine :) (divi is more evil than george bush - btw i dont think george bush is evil leh lol)
Divinia says:
OMG.
youre..
dead.
so dead.
tmr.
so so dead
(eh joy wear a dress tmr ah)
so so dead.
i'm gna kill you and chop you to pieces
joy f. says:
what dress
thats so random LIOL
Divinia says:
lol
(shhhhh )
(this is a secret convo)
(in brackets)
joy f. says:
(i wearing skirt)
Divinia says:
(we can't let our personal friendship get in the way )
(of our line of work)
joy f. says:
(true. i love u)
I HATE YOU
BOO
Divinia says:
ME TOO.
ARGH
YOUR STUPID NICK
IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING ANYONE HAS WRITTEN
joy f. says:
HAHAH
Divinia says:
hahaha
joy f. says:
its abt u what
of cos its stupid la
-.-
(dont cry darlin g)
Divinia says:
okay fine. you win this. but be sure, i'll get my revenge..
(i dont have the heart to take revenge on you dear sweet munchkins)
joy f. says:
(awwww)
HAAA LOSER
Divinia says:
you were a loser before, let me remind you.
anw,
i'm gna head off to complete another mission
can't be bothered with your sily talk.
(i'll miss you so dear.. wish my luck)
i've got more impt stuff to do.
joy f. says:
(i cant wait to see u)
SHOO
Divinia says:
joy f.
are you coming tmr.
you better be.
or i'll..
i'll..
tell CIA who you really are.
joy f. says:
you'll?
OH NO
NO, YOU WOULDNT
Divinia says:
yes.
i'll betray.
i'm sorry.
joy f. says:
that serious?!?!
Divinia says:
but i HAVE TO.
yes.
joy f. says:
you leave me no choice
Divinia says:
command from the top
joy f. says:
i mean
Divinia says:
the meeting tmr is of importance
urgent.
joy f. says:
its a matter of life and death here
Divinia says:
yes. your life.
so you better decide well.
furthermore, during your funeral, tomato juice will be split on.. your..
you knw where.(shirt)
so if you wanna look glam and die late,
come tmr.
joy f. says:
OH NO
THIS IS A TOUGH CHOICE
sry capslock was on hee
i shall betray u first! muhaha
Divinia says:
you .. you .. YOU...
you wouldnt dare
cos..
i got the tomato juice
as my weapon
for tmr.
joy f. says:
OH NO
not the dreaded thing
traumatizing experiences are returning to my memory
Divinia says:
yes. i'll torture you like tht.
so,
better not betray me
joy f. says:
no
Divinia says:
no?
so
you agree?
or disagree?
youre being very vague here agent 398273
joy f. says:
AHAA
u leave me no choice agent 12389-148-5
i hope u like my nick(evil dive)
heh
Divinia says:
i take it as dive.
i hope there's no other negative connotation to it
joy f. says:
heh
spelling error laa (evil divi)
Divinia says:
this.
spells.
WAR
joy f. says:
WAR IT SHALL BE
fine i'll go tmr
BUT
u may have won a battle, but you'll lose the war ;d
Divinia says:
stop thinking that that statement was smart.
it's .. stupid.
look at my nick (joy is evil-er than mojojojo and the brain (and pinky) and tom (and jerry))
i hope you think twice and surrender before your rep. is ruined
joy f. says:
ohMG
that is epic
Divinia says:
of course. i wrote it
joy f. says:
EPIC FAIL I MEAN
hahahha
:)
all of em are harmless lil lovable cartoon villains
Divinia says:
i'm comparing you to
childishness
=)
i'm glad you notice that
joy f. says:
eh look at mine :) (divi is more evil than george bush - btw i dont think george bush is evil leh lol)
Divinia says:
OMG.
youre..
dead.
so dead.
tmr.
so so dead
(eh joy wear a dress tmr ah)
so so dead.
i'm gna kill you and chop you to pieces
joy f. says:
what dress
thats so random LIOL
Divinia says:
lol
(shhhhh )
(this is a secret convo)
(in brackets)
joy f. says:
(i wearing skirt)
Divinia says:
(we can't let our personal friendship get in the way )
(of our line of work)
joy f. says:
(true. i love u)
I HATE YOU
BOO
Divinia says:
ME TOO.
ARGH
YOUR STUPID NICK
IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING ANYONE HAS WRITTEN
joy f. says:
HAHAH
Divinia says:
hahaha
joy f. says:
its abt u what
of cos its stupid la
-.-
(dont cry darlin g)
Divinia says:
okay fine. you win this. but be sure, i'll get my revenge..
(i dont have the heart to take revenge on you dear sweet munchkins)
joy f. says:
(awwww)
HAAA LOSER
Divinia says:
you were a loser before, let me remind you.
anw,
i'm gna head off to complete another mission
can't be bothered with your sily talk.
(i'll miss you so dear.. wish my luck)
i've got more impt stuff to do.
joy f. says:
(i cant wait to see u)
SHOO
Friday, June 19, 2009
Dee-Hannah Day
slpover/shopping was awesome. stayed over at her grdma's place, so got to knw her grdma a lil more after chatting. and of course, Ashley!
botanics and fort canning soon, and ECP? and of course, loads and loads of Jeraldine Seah Shu Jing ;)
i'm rly glad you're back and well.
___________________________________________________________________
i've figured many things out these past few days of staying at home & reflecting... managed to scrap out the colour to cherish once again what truly lies beneath, whts so essential and important. like, the material beneath the paint, which, although is often hidden, is so vital in giving the paint it's body.
it's time to get back to the core of relationships again, the things that really build, instead of just momentary laughter. it's time to take the lives of individuals seriously. to impact, and not just to tickle.
it's time to start noticing the neglected.
botanics and fort canning soon, and ECP? and of course, loads and loads of Jeraldine Seah Shu Jing ;)
i'm rly glad you're back and well.
___________________________________________________________________
i've figured many things out these past few days of staying at home & reflecting... managed to scrap out the colour to cherish once again what truly lies beneath, whts so essential and important. like, the material beneath the paint, which, although is often hidden, is so vital in giving the paint it's body.
it's time to get back to the core of relationships again, the things that really build, instead of just momentary laughter. it's time to take the lives of individuals seriously. to impact, and not just to tickle.
it's time to start noticing the neglected.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
waiting
i wait for the summer
like a daffodil awaiting for a sunlit sky
i wait for the summer
like a cacoon struggling to finish it's phase
i wait for the summer
with a belief that winter would be kind to me
i wait for the summer
with a belief that eventually, the frost of this world would break free.
when summer comes,
snow pieces will melt to become as one; a river
when summer comes,
trees, plants, flowers will reach their full potential
in beauty, and in fruitfulness,
their processes speedily working to replenish the little that we heaved.
when summer comes,
everything is exposed
snowtops vanishing
to a permenent disclose.
truth will rejoice at the gain of it's upper hand
the glare of the sun his constant friend
but for now-
will i survive this dreadful wait?
please Lord let my character not be at stake...
like a daffodil awaiting for a sunlit sky
i wait for the summer
like a cacoon struggling to finish it's phase
i wait for the summer
with a belief that winter would be kind to me
i wait for the summer
with a belief that eventually, the frost of this world would break free.
when summer comes,
snow pieces will melt to become as one; a river
when summer comes,
trees, plants, flowers will reach their full potential
in beauty, and in fruitfulness,
their processes speedily working to replenish the little that we heaved.
when summer comes,
everything is exposed
snowtops vanishing
to a permenent disclose.
truth will rejoice at the gain of it's upper hand
the glare of the sun his constant friend
but for now-
will i survive this dreadful wait?
please Lord let my character not be at stake...
Monday, June 15, 2009
look who's back
Hannah's back!!! =) went to the airport ytd to see the Cebu pple back (AUDREY!!), ate at Sakae with a couple of pple and then waited for Hannah's arrival. tried to hide behind a wall and told gabe and laura to tell her i couldnt make it but gabe betrayed me. so operation 839284 failed. =( anw after a million hugs and after talking about the physical changes tt happened with us (she grew taller i think and i got darker) we parted ways cos by then it was rly late... almost 11. so tt ended my 8th hour at the airport.
made a new friend in the airport ytd - Kimchi! haha. gabe's gf. had a great time knowing her. felt as if we met before. she said i looked familiar.. mayb theyre a couple of me-lookalikes in town. who knws. haha.
i've been eating so much recently -methinks to recover the loss of eating at church camp when i had diahhorea- but thats not the worst news.. i've been eating junk food to recover tt loss!!! i'm now officially sick of it. Sakae was a good change.
last week was hectic! met up with pple everyday. was quite exhausting. but fun. i still have a checklist of pple i NEED to meet up with .... if only the hols were a tad bit longer. heh.
church camp was good. i hope my buddy comes back to visit and gives me dance lessons. hahah. her waltz and chacha was terrifico. but more imptly, i was so encouraged by her enthusiasm for Christ and all her experiences and everything.. she reminded me once again why i respect old pple so much - their wealth of knowledge and wisdom can't be compared to the little that youths know... it's amazing how God created this need between youths and older folks for one another. keeps us connected and makes everyone needed in the Kingdom =)
looking forward to the week ahead =)
made a new friend in the airport ytd - Kimchi! haha. gabe's gf. had a great time knowing her. felt as if we met before. she said i looked familiar.. mayb theyre a couple of me-lookalikes in town. who knws. haha.
i've been eating so much recently -methinks to recover the loss of eating at church camp when i had diahhorea- but thats not the worst news.. i've been eating junk food to recover tt loss!!! i'm now officially sick of it. Sakae was a good change.
last week was hectic! met up with pple everyday. was quite exhausting. but fun. i still have a checklist of pple i NEED to meet up with .... if only the hols were a tad bit longer. heh.
church camp was good. i hope my buddy comes back to visit and gives me dance lessons. hahah. her waltz and chacha was terrifico. but more imptly, i was so encouraged by her enthusiasm for Christ and all her experiences and everything.. she reminded me once again why i respect old pple so much - their wealth of knowledge and wisdom can't be compared to the little that youths know... it's amazing how God created this need between youths and older folks for one another. keeps us connected and makes everyone needed in the Kingdom =)
looking forward to the week ahead =)
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
last day of work!
work was AWESOME tdy. nancy and lynn gave us a treat! - pizza hut. and something happened which made tdy even more memorable, right agent 7382793? something happened on tile 839 in the pantry.
shall blog more about it soon. bye body shop, bye nancy lynn george alvin, and agent 7382793.
=(
shall blog more about it soon. bye body shop, bye nancy lynn george alvin, and agent 7382793.
=(
Sunday, May 24, 2009
yesterday
everything is beautiful, even when the tears are falling
i don't need a miracle to believe
even in the crashing down
i can hear redemption calling
everything is beautiful to me
-Starfield
only one true friend stays - Jesus.
hang in there divinia, you'll be able to get through this.
i don't need a miracle to believe
even in the crashing down
i can hear redemption calling
everything is beautiful to me
-Starfield
only one true friend stays - Jesus.
hang in there divinia, you'll be able to get through this.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
things arent always as clear-cut...
interesting article i came across.
UPDATE: Kris Allen wins American Idol; The Obama, not gay, factor
Update: Kris Allen (23) of Conway, Arkansas wins American Idol in what may be one of the biggest upsets in Idol history -- at least for most Idol pundits. Did Adam Lambert lose because he was just a bit too flamboyant, too gay or misunderstood? Perhaps, the Kris Allen American Idol win is due to something else…besides talent and it's not "The Gay Factor."Now, more than ever people want the underdog to win -- feeling doggy themselves in this economy -- they want “nice” people to take the prize and some even empathize with small town values.
No, this isn’t an anti-gay proclamation, the Kris Allen win is testament to the importance of fans, social networking and relating to an audience. Remember when President Obama was the underdog? His dedicated fans, fertilized largely on the Internet, snuck up on the competition. Additionally, the majority of citizens could better relate to Obama’s words and his persona. Obama was not the most qualified candidate by typical standards, yet he won the biggest contest on the planet -- fans plus personality ...plus message. So, it’s no surprise that the “most qualified” contestant, Adam Lambert, lost to a more likeable fella. Bad economy or not, it's an American trend. The truth is that both Kris Allen and Adam Lambert earned their esteemed standings in the American Idol contest, and either deserved to win.
Otherwise, to put the Idol winner results in perspective: when the election of a U.S. president is in large measure a popularity contest, should we expect anything less from a people’s choice talent show?
makes me ponder.
UPDATE: Kris Allen wins American Idol; The Obama, not gay, factor
Update: Kris Allen (23) of Conway, Arkansas wins American Idol in what may be one of the biggest upsets in Idol history -- at least for most Idol pundits. Did Adam Lambert lose because he was just a bit too flamboyant, too gay or misunderstood? Perhaps, the Kris Allen American Idol win is due to something else…besides talent and it's not "The Gay Factor."Now, more than ever people want the underdog to win -- feeling doggy themselves in this economy -- they want “nice” people to take the prize and some even empathize with small town values.
No, this isn’t an anti-gay proclamation, the Kris Allen win is testament to the importance of fans, social networking and relating to an audience. Remember when President Obama was the underdog? His dedicated fans, fertilized largely on the Internet, snuck up on the competition. Additionally, the majority of citizens could better relate to Obama’s words and his persona. Obama was not the most qualified candidate by typical standards, yet he won the biggest contest on the planet -- fans plus personality ...plus message. So, it’s no surprise that the “most qualified” contestant, Adam Lambert, lost to a more likeable fella. Bad economy or not, it's an American trend. The truth is that both Kris Allen and Adam Lambert earned their esteemed standings in the American Idol contest, and either deserved to win.
Otherwise, to put the Idol winner results in perspective: when the election of a U.S. president is in large measure a popularity contest, should we expect anything less from a people’s choice talent show?
makes me ponder.
plonk-a-bonka-bingk
one bad side effect of cooking - my hands still smell like marinated chicken wings even after many soap washing events. it'll be interesting to see how long will the smell linger on...
i dreamt that i bought a nikon d40 for $48 at smthing like a pasar malam. i wanted a d60 but the price was like $100plus and i had not consulted my parents on it yet. but anyway, i was super happy after that. more things happened after that though.. so the dream ended with me being confused. ask me personally if you want more details on how this strange dream ended.
was watching AMI last night. their singing didnt blow me away. like, it didnt feel as if they were performing for the finale. wasnt as good as other years. ah well, mayb my expectations were just too high, or mayb i was upset when Gokey got out. or mayb, i'm just getting tired of AMI. ha.
am in the process of learning all the chords possible on a piano now, and am writing the theory down. ( eg, what a dominant 7 is ) am getting all the info off the internet.. lol. after that i'll try to insert some of it into different songs so that the knowledge would be of practical use and i'll get started with jazz. hope i can at least finish learning the chords for jazz in time, before uni starts. if i have extra time mayb i'll start learning more of guitar scales and stuff off the internet. ha. i actually don't use the internet much for learning and reading... i dont even use Google & You tube often. but nowadays i'm beginning to embrace the internet more... it's a good source for equipping yourself i realise. i was very extremely relationship-oriented, and i think i still am. but am trying to balance myself by being task-oriented as well. i'll never get to improving myself if i dont work on getting to my goals.
fyi, i dont bother to change the date and time of my posts so the timing of my posts are always inaccurate. mayb i should start to make an effort. what say you? okay that was a stupid thing state since it's such a small matter. hahahhaha. it hardly makes any diff!
wheeeeee i got tmr offf =D woohoo.
oh and fyi - Kris won. :)
i dreamt that i bought a nikon d40 for $48 at smthing like a pasar malam. i wanted a d60 but the price was like $100plus and i had not consulted my parents on it yet. but anyway, i was super happy after that. more things happened after that though.. so the dream ended with me being confused. ask me personally if you want more details on how this strange dream ended.
was watching AMI last night. their singing didnt blow me away. like, it didnt feel as if they were performing for the finale. wasnt as good as other years. ah well, mayb my expectations were just too high, or mayb i was upset when Gokey got out. or mayb, i'm just getting tired of AMI. ha.
am in the process of learning all the chords possible on a piano now, and am writing the theory down. ( eg, what a dominant 7 is ) am getting all the info off the internet.. lol. after that i'll try to insert some of it into different songs so that the knowledge would be of practical use and i'll get started with jazz. hope i can at least finish learning the chords for jazz in time, before uni starts. if i have extra time mayb i'll start learning more of guitar scales and stuff off the internet. ha. i actually don't use the internet much for learning and reading... i dont even use Google & You tube often. but nowadays i'm beginning to embrace the internet more... it's a good source for equipping yourself i realise. i was very extremely relationship-oriented, and i think i still am. but am trying to balance myself by being task-oriented as well. i'll never get to improving myself if i dont work on getting to my goals.
fyi, i dont bother to change the date and time of my posts so the timing of my posts are always inaccurate. mayb i should start to make an effort. what say you? okay that was a stupid thing state since it's such a small matter. hahahhaha. it hardly makes any diff!
wheeeeee i got tmr offf =D woohoo.
oh and fyi - Kris won. :)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
smthing i found from Nam's blog..
I consider that a man’s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things, so that he has a difficulty in laying his hands upon it. Now the skillful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and can distend to any extent. Depend upon it there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones.
- Sherlock Holmes
- Sherlock Holmes
vege & sardines (onions tomato sauce) & honey glazed chicken wings w/ rice
my first attempt at cooking, after a very long while -approx two months? i must keep this up for the sake of survival & future cost saving. plus, it's fun =) it's funny how i love making sandwhiches now too. am gna buy ciabatta bread tmr from freshly baked.
and, i found out grocery shopping is the best way to perk you up/stress relief.
i love this.
my first attempt at cooking, after a very long while -approx two months? i must keep this up for the sake of survival & future cost saving. plus, it's fun =) it's funny how i love making sandwhiches now too. am gna buy ciabatta bread tmr from freshly baked.
and, i found out grocery shopping is the best way to perk you up/stress relief.
i love this.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
neglected details
i've been blogging too much about feelings these days.. it's time i blog about details. :)
MONDAY.
got off work at 4 plus- went to meet AZ at orchard mrt and we headed down to the botanical gardens for a walk! havent been there in AGES so was kinda excited about it. and about meeting AZ of course! the weather was purrfecto. it rained in the morning, so it was cool and cloudy. walked and had a good talk along the way, admiring God's beautiful creation, and the calm and peace that it brought. it would be a fantastic place for reflection.. anw we were expecting to pass by a ginger garden but we failed to notice any ginger gardens around. so we concluded that the gingers were underground - cos theyre roots right? remind me to carry a spade with me the next time i visit. oh and i was quite amused by the fact that pple had to pay to see the orchid garden. It's such an irony that we, as Singaporeans, have to sacrifice 5 bucks just to see our beloved national flower. oh and we saw FOUR couples taking wedding photos at this lovely white shelter at the same time! all of them were like crowding there trying to find a perfect spot to start shooting. AZ got into her fantasy mode and started talking about her dream wedding. She pulled me along, and i got caught up in describing my future wedding too. My imagination went wild describing it and the sacarstic yeses from this untra supportive friend of mine made my enthusiasm grow stronger.haha and we talked about our gowns. hers was an interesting choice.for me, i wanted smthing simple and unique.lol. while standing there wondering why in the world is AZ so captivated by this scene and feeling weird about staring at the four couples taking pictures, a bunch of balloons (which was used as a prop)that a couple was holding on to rebelled gravity (with helium as it's mastermind) and went flying high into the sky... =( sorry guys. we ended our meeting by eating in the food court there, and we trained home together. i think pple in the train gave weird stares at us cos we were laughing. AZ was the ultimate. she had tears rolling down her face.i was actually laughing not because of the joke itself, but i was laughing the way she was laughing so hard. haha. the whole episode of laughter stemmed from an ad which had the word kangxi on it.lol. of all things.
P.S: anyone interested in gg GIVE ME A CALL i'm dying to go there again hahahah. be it for a picnic, a walk or frisbee/soccer/any ball game, kite flying, jogging, talking, or just for a good read. =) and ECP too (psych-kling?). i'm dying to get fresh air hahaha
TUESDAY.
night was occupied with my dearest NM aka pride @ a quaint lil christian cafe called food for thought. food wasnt as awesome but the company was the bomb. like seriously, i couldve talked to her through the night if i wasnt so tired. i'm so awfully glad for a friend like her. if youre reading this MAO, I JUST WANNA CONGRATULATE YOU AGAIN ON GETTING INTO NUS LAW AND BEING SELECTED FOR THE SGX SCHOLARSHIP!!! seriously i'm super proud of you laaaaa you do womanhood proud by being the only girl selected =) the only bad thing: being in different campuses next time but i hope campus crusade can bring us together!!! (you better join ah)
tonight & tmr shall be declared as family nights WOOHOO!!!
things that i want to do badly before schl starts
1)travel
2)improve drumming/guitaring
3)learn to cook more dishes!!!
4)learn how to sight read again.
5)learn to bake and sew
6)find those scraps of paper which i wrote songs in,finish writing them and try really hard to rmber the tunes i once gave..
7)meet up with all the peeps that i miss dearly..
8)slpovers, sentosa, botanic garden, and ECP more.oh and THAT TREETOP WALK.
thats all - for now.
=D
when words fail
i tried writing about Your grace
i tried writing about Your love
i tried writing about Your Joy,
Your amazing grace, Your tenderness,
Your righteousness
but i found that it's just too unexplainable
no one adjective can ever do justice to your lovely Name
the beauty of Your nature cant be contained in simply words
no, not even in the most beautiful language
this is when my heart speaks it's loudest.
i tried writing about Your love
i tried writing about Your Joy,
Your amazing grace, Your tenderness,
Your righteousness
but i found that it's just too unexplainable
no one adjective can ever do justice to your lovely Name
the beauty of Your nature cant be contained in simply words
no, not even in the most beautiful language
this is when my heart speaks it's loudest.
Monday, May 18, 2009
is it all that simple?
life is simple.
i would believe that statement with my whole heart & mind two years back. in fact, i think i lived in a bubble back then. in my own world, where calculations were made by only plus and minuses, where human relations came across as having only one layer to it- a surface layer. i was just satisfied with that, because i was seeking for nothing, because i thought i had everything. my parents were my best friends, my canopy sheltering me from the harsh wind and the rain.
i was happy 99% of the time. i wasnt worried about anything. the world seemed almost perfect to me. a peaceful, serene place & love covered every nook and cranny, pushing spider webs aside.
i was idealistic then. whenever troubles came, i brushed it off gleefully. thinking that my parents would take care of everything, my God would be there.
simply put, i led a carefree life.
until this. until i was pushed into this dangerous reality.
i never thought my outlook on life would change so drastically. now i'm questioning. why do many say that life is simple when there's so much hurt contained in every heart? when pain is present in situations of conflict? when in reality, confusion leads us little people in directions which more often than not, brings us back to square one - never progressing?
how can we pretend that we don't see all of this - how can we compress all these situations into a single statement and just end it there, as if nobody's hurting inside?as if theyre no wounds to be healed?
how are able to say that life is simple, when youre aware of all these that goes around you? arent you just escaping from reality into that little bubble once more where everything's one dimentional again?
i can choose to go back in there if i will myself to - that way i would be naive to this harsh reality & my happiness would resume.
but i choose not to. i choose to not let my heart be unfeeling, but to leave it exposed & tender - to the pain, the sadness, and all the complications that the world carries. and i'll deal with it & move on. knowing that in pain, perserverance is produced. in sadness, joy is treasured. in love, an experience is gained, and a heart sacrificed. i take these experiences seriously.
and in all these, i know that God is watching my back. life is complicated. i've never ignore that fact. however, i'll always rely on simple faith to get me through every complicated situation.
this is where i depend on you, Father, every single day. every single minute. every single second.
(out of all the places You could ever choose to live, You chose my heart. i'm forever grateful)
i would believe that statement with my whole heart & mind two years back. in fact, i think i lived in a bubble back then. in my own world, where calculations were made by only plus and minuses, where human relations came across as having only one layer to it- a surface layer. i was just satisfied with that, because i was seeking for nothing, because i thought i had everything. my parents were my best friends, my canopy sheltering me from the harsh wind and the rain.
i was happy 99% of the time. i wasnt worried about anything. the world seemed almost perfect to me. a peaceful, serene place & love covered every nook and cranny, pushing spider webs aside.
i was idealistic then. whenever troubles came, i brushed it off gleefully. thinking that my parents would take care of everything, my God would be there.
simply put, i led a carefree life.
until this. until i was pushed into this dangerous reality.
i never thought my outlook on life would change so drastically. now i'm questioning. why do many say that life is simple when there's so much hurt contained in every heart? when pain is present in situations of conflict? when in reality, confusion leads us little people in directions which more often than not, brings us back to square one - never progressing?
how can we pretend that we don't see all of this - how can we compress all these situations into a single statement and just end it there, as if nobody's hurting inside?as if theyre no wounds to be healed?
how are able to say that life is simple, when youre aware of all these that goes around you? arent you just escaping from reality into that little bubble once more where everything's one dimentional again?
i can choose to go back in there if i will myself to - that way i would be naive to this harsh reality & my happiness would resume.
but i choose not to. i choose to not let my heart be unfeeling, but to leave it exposed & tender - to the pain, the sadness, and all the complications that the world carries. and i'll deal with it & move on. knowing that in pain, perserverance is produced. in sadness, joy is treasured. in love, an experience is gained, and a heart sacrificed. i take these experiences seriously.
and in all these, i know that God is watching my back. life is complicated. i've never ignore that fact. however, i'll always rely on simple faith to get me through every complicated situation.
this is where i depend on you, Father, every single day. every single minute. every single second.
(out of all the places You could ever choose to live, You chose my heart. i'm forever grateful)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
love
a dear friend once asked me, that if i had a choice, would i choose to love a person more, or would i want the person to love me more.
i answered that i would rather love someone more than the love i would be receiving,because loving someone is such a beautiful thing.
when i say beautiful, i don't mean that it isn't painful. i don't mean that i wouldnt be suffering. i don't mean that i wouldnt be hurting. no. i say beautiful because there is something so magical, so fufilling about loving someone, even though it isnt reciprocated. you're wanting to give more and more of yourself, even though you know that your unconditional offers wouldnt be appreciated. no matter how bitter rejection tastes like, how strong the push, love would pull your heart back up, and give you a reason to try again, and again, and again...
love calls for desperation. and i believe desperation isnt a sign of weakness. it's a sign of passion and courage. love causes you to be desperate for that person -to want to cover & protect that someone, to want to lead someone to the right direction, no matter how much it costs...
no matter how much she/he hates you.
love keeps secrets that are hidden from all views..because it doesnt want to reveal itself or complications may arise.
it would never set out to harm, or to steal away your happiness. it's considerate, polite -no matter how much it pinches. with good intentions, love strides along beside you. you may misunderstand, and it may feel the pain, but love doesnt seek to explain. it only seeks to understand. it would go to any length remove any barrier hindering --
love is not forceful. instead, it lets you have the freedom to choose- because it simply wants you to be happy & satisfied.
i'm perfectly content loving you.
i've always wondered about the saying that we should love the Father because He first loved us,
and i found the reason out quite some time back.
love compells.
when such a strong and passionate love is displayed, i can't help but feel compelled to give back the love that is given. this overwhelming power of love never fails to bring me to my knees.
the only conflict that love is able to bring about would be when two fish lovers fight to give each other the only fish that is left on the plate.
love is like an endless discovery centre;
and i wouldnt want to stop the discovery till the day i die.
i answered that i would rather love someone more than the love i would be receiving,because loving someone is such a beautiful thing.
when i say beautiful, i don't mean that it isn't painful. i don't mean that i wouldnt be suffering. i don't mean that i wouldnt be hurting. no. i say beautiful because there is something so magical, so fufilling about loving someone, even though it isnt reciprocated. you're wanting to give more and more of yourself, even though you know that your unconditional offers wouldnt be appreciated. no matter how bitter rejection tastes like, how strong the push, love would pull your heart back up, and give you a reason to try again, and again, and again...
love calls for desperation. and i believe desperation isnt a sign of weakness. it's a sign of passion and courage. love causes you to be desperate for that person -to want to cover & protect that someone, to want to lead someone to the right direction, no matter how much it costs...
no matter how much she/he hates you.
love keeps secrets that are hidden from all views..because it doesnt want to reveal itself or complications may arise.
it would never set out to harm, or to steal away your happiness. it's considerate, polite -no matter how much it pinches. with good intentions, love strides along beside you. you may misunderstand, and it may feel the pain, but love doesnt seek to explain. it only seeks to understand. it would go to any length remove any barrier hindering --
love is not forceful. instead, it lets you have the freedom to choose- because it simply wants you to be happy & satisfied.
i'm perfectly content loving you.
i've always wondered about the saying that we should love the Father because He first loved us,
and i found the reason out quite some time back.
love compells.
when such a strong and passionate love is displayed, i can't help but feel compelled to give back the love that is given. this overwhelming power of love never fails to bring me to my knees.
the only conflict that love is able to bring about would be when two fish lovers fight to give each other the only fish that is left on the plate.
love is like an endless discovery centre;
and i wouldnt want to stop the discovery till the day i die.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
"I asked for Strength-
and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom-
and God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity-
and God gave me brain and brawn to work.
I asked for courage-
and God gave me dangers to overcome.
I asked for love-
and God gave me opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted-
I received everything I needed.
My prayer has been answered"
~From the Family of Michael Job, an Indian Christian Medical Student who was killed in June of 1999 because of his Father's Evangelistic Activities~
and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom-
and God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity-
and God gave me brain and brawn to work.
I asked for courage-
and God gave me dangers to overcome.
I asked for love-
and God gave me opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted-
I received everything I needed.
My prayer has been answered"
~From the Family of Michael Job, an Indian Christian Medical Student who was killed in June of 1999 because of his Father's Evangelistic Activities~
Monday, May 11, 2009
copy & paste
You and I are on a great climb. The wall is high, and the stakes are higher. You took your first step the day you confessed Christ as the Son of God. He gave you His harness - the Holy Spirit. In your hands He placed a rope - His Word.Your first steps were confident and strong, but with the journey came weariness, and with the height came fear. You lost your footing. You lost your focus. You lost your grip, and you fell. For a moment, which seemed like forever, you tumbled wildly. Out of control. Out of self-control. Disoriented. Dislodged. Falling. But then the rope tightened, and the tumbled ceased. You hung in the harness and found it to be strong. You grasped the rope and found it to be true. You looked at your guide and found Jesus securing your soul. With a sheepish confession, You smiled at Him and He smiled at you, and the journey resumed.Now you are wiser. You have learned to go slowly. You are careful. You are cautious, but you are all confident. You trust the rope. You rely on the harness. And though you can't see your guide, you know Him. You know He is strong. You know He is able to keep you from falling. And you know you are only a few more steps from the top. So whatever you do, don't quit. Though your falls are great, His strength is greater. You will make it. You will see the summit. You will stand at the top. And when you get there, the first thing you'll do is join with all the others who have made the climb and sing this verse:
"To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy - to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen" (Jude 24 NIV)
-Nam.
if youre reading this, thanks. your post encouraged me alot. the sincerity behind it is awesome. keep writing!!
"To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy - to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen" (Jude 24 NIV)
-Nam.
if youre reading this, thanks. your post encouraged me alot. the sincerity behind it is awesome. keep writing!!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
mirrors don't only hang on walls
the mirror disfigures even further as the corrosive sand threatens to scratch away whatever's left of it's reflectivity. yet another massive wave of wind swipes pass, and this time the unassuming rocks nearby gets caught in the game. yet another auccuser, yet another victim. awful scratches now makes the mirror scramble to find a safe position where it's usefulness would not be hidden beneath ugly remnants of broken glass. no, it mustn't let it's beauty be brought under by the natural forces of this world.
her purpose must remain.
reflections must still be brought forth or nobody would see their true colours;
ugly, filthy rags they all are.
but, she couldnt do this anymore- she was now not a full complete mirror but merely shards of glass, or could she?
she meets a shipwrecked man not long after. a dying soul, a dying body. hunger slapped it's mould over his emaciated body, and thirst was labelled all over his chapped lips. a shiny object caused him to hope, and his gaunt body sprang to recieve what the mirror had to offer.
the already broken, tainted piece of glass he saw as a beautiful object. he needs to be saved.
the sun stood incandescent in sky, it's intensity stealing the attention of the man. hope was waiting.
the position of the mirror came face to face with the glory of the sun and before she knew it, fire consumed her. she knew there and then that this, was what she was called for. even though she was broken, shattered & of no value, even though she couldnt be used to reflect for the knowledge of exteriors, she managed to change an interior just by glancing at the sun in submittance.
two outcomes resulted: 1) the saving of a man 2) she, consumed by fire.
we may seem broken, tainted, with our insides crumbling & hope fading. but keep your hopes up. God uses more so the broken if submittance is evident. and if we are constantly looking His way daily, He'll consume us afresh & anew everyday.
so be a mirror today! If the lost see the reflection of Christ in you , they will recognise hope, and that is when you'll point them to Christ, and bring them to safety!!
her purpose must remain.
reflections must still be brought forth or nobody would see their true colours;
ugly, filthy rags they all are.
but, she couldnt do this anymore- she was now not a full complete mirror but merely shards of glass, or could she?
she meets a shipwrecked man not long after. a dying soul, a dying body. hunger slapped it's mould over his emaciated body, and thirst was labelled all over his chapped lips. a shiny object caused him to hope, and his gaunt body sprang to recieve what the mirror had to offer.
the already broken, tainted piece of glass he saw as a beautiful object. he needs to be saved.
the sun stood incandescent in sky, it's intensity stealing the attention of the man. hope was waiting.
the position of the mirror came face to face with the glory of the sun and before she knew it, fire consumed her. she knew there and then that this, was what she was called for. even though she was broken, shattered & of no value, even though she couldnt be used to reflect for the knowledge of exteriors, she managed to change an interior just by glancing at the sun in submittance.
two outcomes resulted: 1) the saving of a man 2) she, consumed by fire.
we may seem broken, tainted, with our insides crumbling & hope fading. but keep your hopes up. God uses more so the broken if submittance is evident. and if we are constantly looking His way daily, He'll consume us afresh & anew everyday.
so be a mirror today! If the lost see the reflection of Christ in you , they will recognise hope, and that is when you'll point them to Christ, and bring them to safety!!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
divinia's back
[Hannaha Banana Wongster Gong Gong] "If God bids me fly, I will trust Him for the wings" says:
u pierced a dagger into my heart=(
sigh..
fine..
Divinia says:
=)
wheeee
[Hannaha Banana Wongster Gong Gong] "If God bids me fly, I will trust Him for the wings" says:
HAHA.
WAH LAO
so happy.
you're sadistic
Divinia says:
HAHAH =)
it's the first time i've come this close to doing an operation
and becoming a doc
[Hannaha Banana Wongster Gong Gong] "If God bids me fly, I will trust Him for the wings" says:
RIGHT.
congrats
hahahha
Divinia says:
=))
[Hannaha Banana Wongster Gong Gong] "If God bids me fly, I will trust Him for the wings" says:
what was for dinner?
Divinia says:
rice rice and ..
hannah's heart
[Hannaha Banana Wongster Gong Gong] "If God bids me fly, I will trust Him for the wings" says:
EW
was it nice?>
Divinia says:
chewy
and bitter
u pierced a dagger into my heart=(
sigh..
fine..
Divinia says:
=)
wheeee
[Hannaha Banana Wongster Gong Gong] "If God bids me fly, I will trust Him for the wings" says:
HAHA.
WAH LAO
so happy.
you're sadistic
Divinia says:
HAHAH =)
it's the first time i've come this close to doing an operation
and becoming a doc
[Hannaha Banana Wongster Gong Gong] "If God bids me fly, I will trust Him for the wings" says:
RIGHT.
congrats
hahahha
Divinia says:
=))
[Hannaha Banana Wongster Gong Gong] "If God bids me fly, I will trust Him for the wings" says:
what was for dinner?
Divinia says:
rice rice and ..
hannah's heart
[Hannaha Banana Wongster Gong Gong] "If God bids me fly, I will trust Him for the wings" says:
EW
was it nice?>
Divinia says:
chewy
and bitter
Sunday, April 26, 2009
for all those remaining readers out there.. (if there are any left) i'm so sorry for not bloggo-ing for so longa. am kinda influenced by the thinking that if ppl wanna know about my life, i'd rather it be delivered personally.. but owell. i miss writing. amazing how writing manages to clear your thoughts by laying it down in a sensible and logical manner. i often get encouraged after i blog sometimes because of the proclaimation of positivity through my fingers.
the power of posts. whoooo.
argh i have no time to update now though, but i will soon.
____________________________________________________________________
dear Pride,
love,
Dignity.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
....
am gonna have an off day tmr, and will work three days a week from now on!! :) apparently there are not enough forms cos me and joy does it fast.. lol. but from then on it'll be hourly pay though, and i earn more in a day when i'm paid by form :( owell. haha.
went to watch confessions of a shophaholic ytd. it was good. expected it to be another chick flick but it's turned out real different! there were deep issues that the show dealt with.. and i was impressed by the ingenious set up of the play that kept me glued.
and.. Hugh Dancy is hot. love the curls and his character. hahaaa.
anw was walking beside the skate park (like i do everyday when i get to work and back) when some angmoh guy skateboarded across beside me and did some stunt in front and he fell right down in front of me. i gasped and muttered under my breath are you okay and he just shrugged and smiled like this is the 100th time falling down. lol. anw i think skateboarding's cool!! will wanna learn it one day if i ever get a chance to..
had in mind to blog everyday this week but i always get home exhausted. ugh. so yea. my brain's not functioning now too. and i got this nausea coming over me. must be too much comp.
gotta rest. ciao!
went to watch confessions of a shophaholic ytd. it was good. expected it to be another chick flick but it's turned out real different! there were deep issues that the show dealt with.. and i was impressed by the ingenious set up of the play that kept me glued.
and.. Hugh Dancy is hot. love the curls and his character. hahaaa.
anw was walking beside the skate park (like i do everyday when i get to work and back) when some angmoh guy skateboarded across beside me and did some stunt in front and he fell right down in front of me. i gasped and muttered under my breath are you okay and he just shrugged and smiled like this is the 100th time falling down. lol. anw i think skateboarding's cool!! will wanna learn it one day if i ever get a chance to..
had in mind to blog everyday this week but i always get home exhausted. ugh. so yea. my brain's not functioning now too. and i got this nausea coming over me. must be too much comp.
gotta rest. ciao!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
stop! before it's too late
have you ever been shocked, dismayed, apalled at what you have become- where the comparison of the past leaves you in deep wonder of the height that you have fallen from- the point at which the uncontrollable sliding begans- the slide that starts fun, grows exciting, and leaves your adrenalin pumpin.. you must know when to stop though, or a big 'thud' would greet you once you fly past the stopping point at the base of the slide-- a thud that would hit you back to the literal earth, and the metaphorical reality.
a thud -- i was warned of. that painful experience that accompany the sand on your pants. i'm reminded by my Constant Companion that the thud would hurt eventually-- and that makes me come to a screeching halt every time.
i don't dare go beyond because i trust. i trust that my Dad knows best.
Precaution --a caution that doesnt go unheeded. a caution thats already taken care of before danger opens it's mouth to speak into your life. temptations which you flee away from before you get eaten alive.
i'm glad i have a Father who cares enough to caution. to repeatedly remind me if i'm falling away so that i might be able to get back up.
warnings make me know that i'm still in the safety zone.
seek for wisdom and take precautions in your life today! you may never know when the thud would be arriving.
a stop sign isnt meant for stopping to sigh. a stop sign should bring about rejoicing!! :)
a thud -- i was warned of. that painful experience that accompany the sand on your pants. i'm reminded by my Constant Companion that the thud would hurt eventually-- and that makes me come to a screeching halt every time.
i don't dare go beyond because i trust. i trust that my Dad knows best.
Precaution --a caution that doesnt go unheeded. a caution thats already taken care of before danger opens it's mouth to speak into your life. temptations which you flee away from before you get eaten alive.
i'm glad i have a Father who cares enough to caution. to repeatedly remind me if i'm falling away so that i might be able to get back up.
warnings make me know that i'm still in the safety zone.
seek for wisdom and take precautions in your life today! you may never know when the thud would be arriving.
a stop sign isnt meant for stopping to sigh. a stop sign should bring about rejoicing!! :)
Monday, March 30, 2009
went for aud's schl (NUS) arts concert last night! it was not bad.. except for the first three performances. hahahaah.
nicky drove us there (from church) and afterward back to our homes (thanks again nicky). anw the journey was really longgg cos the concert was held at republic poly, but we were screaming and singing our lungs off in the car to random songs (backstreet boys, westlife, britney, switchfoot and bon jovi being the most popular). it's amazing how after screaming in the car on the way there, we still managed to scream in aud's concert. we were like screaming her name in almost every performance although she didnt come on hahaha. shouted declarations of love.. and i dared nicky to shout 'marry me'. haha! all in all, the dances were not bad, the singing by resonance was woooo.. and there was some instrument playing to MAMA MIA and that was lovely. forgot whats the name of the instrument ugh anw busy busy days ahead..
nicky drove us there (from church) and afterward back to our homes (thanks again nicky). anw the journey was really longgg cos the concert was held at republic poly, but we were screaming and singing our lungs off in the car to random songs (backstreet boys, westlife, britney, switchfoot and bon jovi being the most popular). it's amazing how after screaming in the car on the way there, we still managed to scream in aud's concert. we were like screaming her name in almost every performance although she didnt come on hahaha. shouted declarations of love.. and i dared nicky to shout 'marry me'. haha! all in all, the dances were not bad, the singing by resonance was woooo.. and there was some instrument playing to MAMA MIA and that was lovely. forgot whats the name of the instrument ugh anw busy busy days ahead..
Monday, March 23, 2009
hello!
i love my work.
managed to listen to two sermons today, a BBC documentary (about the children in Africa taking care of their HIV parents.it touched my heart) and news, and the radio.
=D
all while typing of course. and i get paid doing this. hahahaha! anw new two guys joined tdy.. they're sitting beside Joy. the space arnd them's cramped up now man. and joy told me one guy had to sit on a stool. :(
who wants to go cycling... i'm dying to cycle. and the beach!
managed to listen to two sermons today, a BBC documentary (about the children in Africa taking care of their HIV parents.it touched my heart) and news, and the radio.
=D
all while typing of course. and i get paid doing this. hahahaha! anw new two guys joined tdy.. they're sitting beside Joy. the space arnd them's cramped up now man. and joy told me one guy had to sit on a stool. :(
who wants to go cycling... i'm dying to cycle. and the beach!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
this week was exhausting, but enjoyable. have been coming home past eleven almost every night from cramming my 'life' into a measly four/five hour slot every night. hahaha. hav learned to treasure every single minute of the day now though.
work is interesting. the typing's quite mundane, and what added colour would be the amusing names of some of the ppl in sgpore, plus my ipod/radio BBC docs. w/o them dont think i couldve survived. hahaha. the ppl there are nice tho. the aussies and ang mohs are really really friendly.
will update again when i have the time :)
work is interesting. the typing's quite mundane, and what added colour would be the amusing names of some of the ppl in sgpore, plus my ipod/radio BBC docs. w/o them dont think i couldve survived. hahaha. the ppl there are nice tho. the aussies and ang mohs are really really friendly.
will update again when i have the time :)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
questions with (thankfully)answers
i ask myself why.
1)why am i not passionate about music, when i know the obvious consequence of this- a stagnation of the development of skills, my potential fizzling out as moments go by. why can't i love music more than i'm loving it now.
but i figured; loving something too much would present a danger of overthrowing the Person on the throne of my heart. i've heard of many stories. i guess that is why subconciously i have chosen to stay away.
2)why can't i plan ahead,my head not crafting that amazing future, one that i can be so supremely proud of when someone questions about my ambition.
at this point of my life, the pressure of choosing a path to take leading to my future gets to me. many actually expect me to know what i want, to have at least a hint what i would like my future to be. when i answer 'i have no idea', a blank stare follows.
this whole incident would get me feeling that planning my future should be the most important thing on my list.
but thats when i get stopped in my tracks.
by Him, by my parents....
why should i be pressured to feel anxious?
the reason why i have no answer for anything regarding my future is because, the next move i'm gna take has not been revealed by my Personal Planner. unless He says move forward, i will not budge.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the next act of my life would be revealed this friday (presumably). the curtains would be pulled back, with me the observer watching with great anticipation. gladness would burst forth no matter what the Director has planned in His script, for i have enjoyed every part of the acts that went by(therefore having every reason to by so thankful), and am certain of the Director's best in the ending.
without Him, the show cannot go on.
1)why am i not passionate about music, when i know the obvious consequence of this- a stagnation of the development of skills, my potential fizzling out as moments go by. why can't i love music more than i'm loving it now.
but i figured; loving something too much would present a danger of overthrowing the Person on the throne of my heart. i've heard of many stories. i guess that is why subconciously i have chosen to stay away.
2)why can't i plan ahead,my head not crafting that amazing future, one that i can be so supremely proud of when someone questions about my ambition.
at this point of my life, the pressure of choosing a path to take leading to my future gets to me. many actually expect me to know what i want, to have at least a hint what i would like my future to be. when i answer 'i have no idea', a blank stare follows.
this whole incident would get me feeling that planning my future should be the most important thing on my list.
but thats when i get stopped in my tracks.
by Him, by my parents....
why should i be pressured to feel anxious?
the reason why i have no answer for anything regarding my future is because, the next move i'm gna take has not been revealed by my Personal Planner. unless He says move forward, i will not budge.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the next act of my life would be revealed this friday (presumably). the curtains would be pulled back, with me the observer watching with great anticipation. gladness would burst forth no matter what the Director has planned in His script, for i have enjoyed every part of the acts that went by(therefore having every reason to by so thankful), and am certain of the Director's best in the ending.
without Him, the show cannot go on.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
just got back from catching up with AZ. Havent seen her in 5 years!!! had a good time cycling.. it's amazing how we still can connect after so long. She insisted on treating me to coffee bean after that... if youre reading this, THANKS ONCE AGAIN. haha i had an awesome time catching up and yea, you really encouraged me a great deal ;)
anyway, i finally logged into friendster after 93083 years and i read back my comments. gosh i must have been really lame last time aye cos almost everyone said this about me. was i really that bad!! :( nevertheless, i guess i'm over this phase now hahah. so thats good for my friends out there who had to peservere when i was doing my thang back then. ahhhh the good ol' days.
i miss AC.
anyway, i finally logged into friendster after 93083 years and i read back my comments. gosh i must have been really lame last time aye cos almost everyone said this about me. was i really that bad!! :( nevertheless, i guess i'm over this phase now hahah. so thats good for my friends out there who had to peservere when i was doing my thang back then. ahhhh the good ol' days.
i miss AC.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
latest news: HW has safely landed in Melbourne.
source: an offline msn msg.
I'm super happy for her. There will be so much more opportunities there rather than here in S. But dang i'll miss her loads. We wanted to hate each other so that parting would be easier but we kinda failed miserably in that, lol. Anyway HW, i know you never ever read my blog (haha lazy pig) but yea if you EVER read it i hope you scroll down to this post and add this to the letter i gave: YOU BETTER UPDATE MORE AND REPORT YOUR LIFE IN DETAIL (get tips from Aaron =P) haha.
and and and
don't grow any taller. hahahahah!
source: an offline msn msg.
I'm super happy for her. There will be so much more opportunities there rather than here in S. But dang i'll miss her loads. We wanted to hate each other so that parting would be easier but we kinda failed miserably in that, lol. Anyway HW, i know you never ever read my blog (haha lazy pig) but yea if you EVER read it i hope you scroll down to this post and add this to the letter i gave: YOU BETTER UPDATE MORE AND REPORT YOUR LIFE IN DETAIL (get tips from Aaron =P) haha.
and and and
don't grow any taller. hahahahah!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
=)
stayed up to watch the inauguration of Obama two days ago.Impactful speech by Obama and powerful prayer by Rick Warren.... watching that made me feel almost American. lol.
spring cleaning today! throughly enjoyed myself. found my sec1-2 poem book, lol.
shall type out a few of it out... be amused and entertained!
The Window Of Hope
staring out from my window
a thousand broken lives
a world which was one peaceful
now filled with hatred, deceit and lies
i see families broken
when husbands leave their wives
where is the love they once shared?
the love that was to forever bind?
innocent young children
their lips filled with cries
abandoned by their mother
with only a blanket to survive
dear Lord i pray
take their hand
guide them through the night
until they reach a place that shines
so bright with morning light
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
ohoh and i wrote one for limmo! (limying) hahah
let me tell ya
bout a girl i know
almost perfect
from head to toe
a wonderful friend
she'll make
also knows when
to give and take (???? LOL)
tall and lean
the perfect height
has the eyes
to attract guys (HAHAHAHAH)
seldom bringing money
when she goes out
getting too little
lending alot
snorting
makes her one of a kind
unbearable laughs
make the stomach chime
so now you know
more bout my friend
"Godly person by nature?"
yes and amen!
amusing.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
there are times
life's not fair
when trouble comes
you despair
worst is when
youre black and white
a lack of classification
leaves you petrified
you get blamed
accused and trampled on
when nothing's done
heart gets scalded
'This world has no justice!'
you think to yourself
tears in your eyes
your heart swells
explainations dismissed
no trust in this world
where has it gone to?
your head in a swirl
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
OMG i wrote a song too!
Heart of a Champion
(verse)
i can feel the pressure coming down on me
people say i'm not destined to succeed
but i've got the faith i need to carry on
and i will find the strength to prove them wrong
(2nd verse)
listen, i've been through thick and thin
standing in the winter's circle has it's price
it isn't for the thrill
it i'snt for the prize
it's all about the fight to want to stay alive
(chorus)
when youre put there on the edge
and the odds you face are against you
you got to have the heart of a champion
when your time's running out
everybody sees you going down
you gotta keep strong
when your back's agaist the wall
and the enemy thinks youre gonna fall
you got to have the heart of a champion
(Bridge)
when the sun goes down
i won't fear the night
i will keep my head turned towards the sky
knowing that the Lord's on my side...
(i sounded as if i went through alot.. HAHAHA esp the 'listen, ive been through thick and thin'.. gosh..)
spring cleaning today! throughly enjoyed myself. found my sec1-2 poem book, lol.
shall type out a few of it out... be amused and entertained!
The Window Of Hope
staring out from my window
a thousand broken lives
a world which was one peaceful
now filled with hatred, deceit and lies
i see families broken
when husbands leave their wives
where is the love they once shared?
the love that was to forever bind?
innocent young children
their lips filled with cries
abandoned by their mother
with only a blanket to survive
dear Lord i pray
take their hand
guide them through the night
until they reach a place that shines
so bright with morning light
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
ohoh and i wrote one for limmo! (limying) hahah
let me tell ya
bout a girl i know
almost perfect
from head to toe
a wonderful friend
she'll make
also knows when
to give and take (???? LOL)
tall and lean
the perfect height
has the eyes
to attract guys (HAHAHAHAH)
seldom bringing money
when she goes out
getting too little
lending alot
snorting
makes her one of a kind
unbearable laughs
make the stomach chime
so now you know
more bout my friend
"Godly person by nature?"
yes and amen!
amusing.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
there are times
life's not fair
when trouble comes
you despair
worst is when
youre black and white
a lack of classification
leaves you petrified
you get blamed
accused and trampled on
when nothing's done
heart gets scalded
'This world has no justice!'
you think to yourself
tears in your eyes
your heart swells
explainations dismissed
no trust in this world
where has it gone to?
your head in a swirl
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
OMG i wrote a song too!
Heart of a Champion
(verse)
i can feel the pressure coming down on me
people say i'm not destined to succeed
but i've got the faith i need to carry on
and i will find the strength to prove them wrong
(2nd verse)
listen, i've been through thick and thin
standing in the winter's circle has it's price
it isn't for the thrill
it i'snt for the prize
it's all about the fight to want to stay alive
(chorus)
when youre put there on the edge
and the odds you face are against you
you got to have the heart of a champion
when your time's running out
everybody sees you going down
you gotta keep strong
when your back's agaist the wall
and the enemy thinks youre gonna fall
you got to have the heart of a champion
(Bridge)
when the sun goes down
i won't fear the night
i will keep my head turned towards the sky
knowing that the Lord's on my side...
(i sounded as if i went through alot.. HAHAHA esp the 'listen, ive been through thick and thin'.. gosh..)
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
dare to dream
not many dare to dream nowadays.
the result?- a lack of vision, a settlement for second best
a deterioration in perseverance, a slowdown in speed
consistent failures & threatening hindrances
they make us run slower
and slower.
after hopping from one failure to another,
we grow to accept that this dream would never be fulfilled,
the word 'mere' creeping up to create this layer for unbelievers to dwell & mop upon--
"a mere dream."
the brain stops imagining, capacity lessening. the once-vibrant cells that served the dream loses it's passion.
a cap is created & sealed, this bottle unable to fizzle, to explode with life, to reach it's full potential. it may have seemed impossible for it to reach the sky, but at least it would be a step closer.
a step closer. that's all that is required. this step would represent a belief in the impossible, a mark of faith & commitment.
the stride- propelled by confidence and assurance that the best is yet to be.
directionless with a desert as compass, the sign of destination, achievement and victory is nowhere in sight.
nowhere in sight, she whispers.
but the eyes of her heart always holds full view of the end.
desperation- a cue for an invasion of His presence!
the result?- a lack of vision, a settlement for second best
a deterioration in perseverance, a slowdown in speed
consistent failures & threatening hindrances
they make us run slower
and slower.
after hopping from one failure to another,
we grow to accept that this dream would never be fulfilled,
the word 'mere' creeping up to create this layer for unbelievers to dwell & mop upon--
"a mere dream."
the brain stops imagining, capacity lessening. the once-vibrant cells that served the dream loses it's passion.
a cap is created & sealed, this bottle unable to fizzle, to explode with life, to reach it's full potential. it may have seemed impossible for it to reach the sky, but at least it would be a step closer.
a step closer. that's all that is required. this step would represent a belief in the impossible, a mark of faith & commitment.
the stride- propelled by confidence and assurance that the best is yet to be.
directionless with a desert as compass, the sign of destination, achievement and victory is nowhere in sight.
nowhere in sight, she whispers.
but the eyes of her heart always holds full view of the end.
desperation- a cue for an invasion of His presence!
Friday, January 2, 2009
change
these few days have been one of the most difficult days of my life. (a mid-teen crisis you may call it)
but i'm so glad that at the end of the day, i am always able to hang on to God, the anchor of my life.. the only constant in this ever-changing world.
divinia may change, situations may change, friends may come and go.. but God is always that solid foundation that i can rely on. that is one of the few things i have learnt in the midst of the passing of 08.
and thats the only thing that matters.
but i'm so glad that at the end of the day, i am always able to hang on to God, the anchor of my life.. the only constant in this ever-changing world.
divinia may change, situations may change, friends may come and go.. but God is always that solid foundation that i can rely on. that is one of the few things i have learnt in the midst of the passing of 08.
and thats the only thing that matters.
Slow Down, Don't Dance So Fast
Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round,
or listened to the rain slapping o the ground?
Ever followed a butterful's erratic flight,
or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask, "How are you?" do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie on yor bed
with the next hundred chores running through your head?
You'd better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
Ever told your child, we'll do it tomorrow,
and in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die,
'cause you never had time to call and say hi?
You better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short the music won't last.
when you run so fast to get somewhere,
you miss half the fun of getting there.
when you worry and hurry through your day,
it is like an unopened gift... thrown away.
life is no a race, do take it slower
hear the music, before the song is over.
-taken from a book by Dave Balsiger & Chris Strong
or listened to the rain slapping o the ground?
Ever followed a butterful's erratic flight,
or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask, "How are you?" do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie on yor bed
with the next hundred chores running through your head?
You'd better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
Ever told your child, we'll do it tomorrow,
and in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die,
'cause you never had time to call and say hi?
You better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short the music won't last.
when you run so fast to get somewhere,
you miss half the fun of getting there.
when you worry and hurry through your day,
it is like an unopened gift... thrown away.
life is no a race, do take it slower
hear the music, before the song is over.
-taken from a book by Dave Balsiger & Chris Strong
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