Mirroring 2008

I would say that 2008 has been a VERY eventful year for me.

Firstly, the A levels. Everyone says that it's the most challenging exam ever, & no doubt, it was draining. But i am thankful- this exam was kinda life changing for me.

God proved Himself faithful each step of the way. I'm not what you call a very smart & intelligent person, (my IQ being below average in that facebook test) in fact my teachers in pri. school have always labelled me as a 'dreamy' girl. Frankly, I wanted to give up during that final stretch cos i felt that i wasnt good enough. Many of my friends around me were talking about prestigous Unis all around the world, and inside me i knew that if i could make it to NUS (whatever arts course they have..), I'd be happy & grateful. Although i strove for A's, and did my best to do well, i always fell short whenever i compared myself to my friends (i know i shouldnt compare but...). I knew that competition would be really stiff during the A's. The thought about giving up came to me two/ three times before and after prelims, but God intervened by sending the lyrics 'Lord to give up i'd be a fool' into my mind whenever i felt inadequate. He started speaking to me through my parents, friends,sermons, devotions & songs in schl... He did not give up on me, not once.

I knew there and then that i should not give up too, because He was on my side, and with Him around there is nothing to fear. Just like the way He held my hands through the O levels, He held mine through the A's. I knew i kinda screwed up some papers (i think), but the overwhelming peace He brought calmed my anxiousness. Throughout the A's, i knew that i had to totally depend on Him because if i did it alone... not only would the results suck, but it just wouldnt be the same. It just wouldnt be as joyous, as meaningful, it would just feel as if youre doing it for your future, which is totally stupid, cos my future wouldnt be great without God in it even if tons of money came my way.

I wanted to do my best because i wanted to make Him smile, and make sure that the miracle He made for me to come to this wonderful school wouldnt be wasted. I wanted to be very sure that i would be walking in His perfect will in the future-- I didnt want the perfect plan He had for my life to change with a silly divinia going towards another direction. God had an amazing plan for my life, something way better than what i would imagine, (and the same applies to YOU) so why not i go grab it, and cling on to it tightly?

I am so proud to say that with God's strength & tons of encouragements, i finished the race (th A level race that is) and no matter what shapes or alphabets will the results take on, I will rejoice :)

the A levels sure took up alot of my time in 08-- that explains for my long post.gotta ciao! more reflections coming soooon....

beyond a face

you ask what do i see in you



i say: i see a bright wonderful future. full of promise- untapped potential waiting to be unlocked; revealing the moutains of gifts -a true reflection of the person that Christ intended for you to be.



i see tens of thousands in the body of Christ doing their specific task, faithfully -no matter how big or how small- each just means so much to the Kingdom. beautiful souls working in harmony- each one in line with their calling.



i see a precious soul, made for intimacy with God. the joy, fufillment & peace you get from the relationship makes you crave for so much more, you cant help run into His open arms.



i see miracles happen through you like it's the norm. dead men rising with the rising of one's faith. hearts open with the proclaimation of truth- evading the lies of the devil, revealing the truth that was once disguised.



i see increasing dependency, decreasing independence. rules that once restrict now brings freedom. you cant live without Him because you know that you'll be nothing without Him. i see a carefree life being led when all burdens on your shoulders are lifted, so that you can dance freely with your Father-- Him guiding you each step of the way-- each movement marking a chapter in your life.



i see you living a life of confidence -not in yourself- but in the Father. the life of a winner, just because of that act of submission & the offering of your life to Him.

it ain't easy, but it's worth it.

i see all of you as shinning stars with a twinkle that never dies. when the city lights threaten to take your place, shine brighter. this world needs something real, something that is of permenence. the street lights can never be depended on-- electrical faults do happen. but God holds the stars in His hand-He will never let His stars fall-- He will only let them go higher, higher,till heaven is found...

the lego crisis-
figuring out the parts that dont fit.

i have seriously never felt like before.

you dont fit into my life,
so i hope to get you out of my thoughts - asap.
but why, oh why is it so hard

on another note, i'm still pretty bothered by the old deleted blog of mine. :( it held many opinions, thoughts & ideas of mine tt i really wanna retreive now.& the poems! ughhhhh......

a passing season

it's winter in my soul.
cold frosty foggy hungry
but,wait a refreshing is awaiting,
coming soon

till the sun lifts the unnerving temperature,
i'll be seeking. i'll be clinging.
i shall never stop till the snow melts,
and spring resumes.

reason for the season

'Jingle bell rock' echos in the air, while the bustling street moves to the beat of the music. the beautifully lighted orchard road celebrates 'candy'- the manufactured theme of the year. people walk aimless, scrambling for a proper present to buy for their loved ones. some just for the fun of it, some just out of obligation, few to show their appreciation, many just going with the motion. christmas. a time to raise their wine glasses, to spend off bonuses, to partaye till dawn. most people are able to relate to christmas. the two lovers under a misltetoe, the gathering of all families for a reunion (just to rekindle that special spark between them that was fading in between christmases :(), the kids and their toys, or simply excitement that surprises create to conjure the lovely feeling of being loved.... even if many do not appreciate the aforementioned, it's safe to say that most would gladly treat christmas as a well-deserved break from their very-hectic schedule that ate up most of their year.

underneath that commercial make-up of christmas, a King was born. the quiet fullness of the Baby's presense reflected His humble beginnings. This Light that came gave hope to the darkness.He came to make our life beautiful & rich. He came so that He might help navigate us to His eternal Kingdom. the greatest gift of Love came down, so why are so many rushing through christmas making sure that everyone gets a gift? yes, giving is all important. but shouldnt we be recieving too? to stop & gaze at the greatest Gift, to sit at His feet and worship Him...to receive, to fully receive of His love so that we may have plenty to give to others. i want to grasp the full meaning of Christmas this year. i dont want it to turn out like other christmases.

so i shall start by seeking Him.

they recognise the man covered in a red coat, but they dont recognise the Man who gave up His life to cover us in red.

proposal

the extraction of the heart- is that so hard to do?
the painted faces, fronted covers...
a smile as a disguise.

transparency, untainted intentions..
exposure. entertained by a trusted friend.
is that so hard to find?

a willing giver, a spontaneous receiver.. the two hands that clapeth.
oh imagine the beautiful music it'll make, the collision of the two faiths yielding to their common call.
a finger doesnt make music,
giving their all- the palm family, five in total- does the trick.

forget about the fear of rejection, put away the imagination of suspicion- there will only be love & unconditional acceptance.
i bet everyone is seeking.
but who is willing?

trust is hard to find nowadays when the heart displays callousness.

another stage

movie after the lit paper with mummy... then met up with nic cheng joy & bern at marina sq. at ten plus.. walked around till 11-12pm till the security guard chased us out... sat at the esplanade bus stop talking, thinking that the night rider operates on weekdays... & at 1 plus cheng conveniently stated tt the night rider only opearates during weekends ... LOL so we went to glutton sq to have supper instead.. hang arnd till 3 plus & cabbed down to nic's house! played board games & planned berns partaye on thurs... till 7am.. wheeee after tt we went to macs for breakfast, went home to change, i took a short nap & went out to orchard to meet nic @ 3 plus again to shop!!! met jan jo & jeanette OMGosh we had such a great time catching up. went off at 7 & met up with my parents for dinner @ simei!! reached home at 10 pm... watched CSI, still totally in love with that show..

there you go..
that was thye summary of my 29 hour adventure - and 29 hour taste of liberation!! :)
the only info missing out of that was the tons of fun we had in between which is totally impossible to write in words. hahahaha.

i still cant believe A's is over.... am kinda missing the sense of a purpose filled day now..
anw i wont say that the exam was great, and wouldnt say it's very very bad either. shall just leave the results up to God & not think about it. since He brought me to this school, He'll be the one that will set the finishing line too :)

i have SO much to say about how AC changed me, my perspectives... & the daily devotions tt have rly inspired me to become a better person & to seek * hunger after Christ even more.. plus the friends tt rly shaped me... i'm glad God placed me here.

anw this A level experience was totally amazing. like, every paper, i would feel God walking with me, telling me to hang in there & not give up... because He'll be there all the way, every step of the way.. wouldnt have survived w/o His presense.. amazing.

went for the fresh fire conference during the first night. the worship & the preaching impacted me really greatly... the whole place was like charged up with the Holy Spirit. never will i regret gg for it.

sunday's service was the bomb. Ross Parsley is a guy that i rly rly respect. his passion & compassion must have rly come from the Lord cos it was like overflowing in his life...

what about today?

packing day! my notessss ... ALL GONE, packed, folded, relocated... the room & the dining table is now sparkly clean :D i feel fulfilled.

am gg to meet nam & audrey sooooonnnnn yayyyyyyy :)

& i'm so gna spend the hols seeeking God ... & praying about my future. i've got no idea what course i want to take ... but anw i cant wait to see the plans God has for me... AND ALL MY YOU DEAR FRIENDS! because God gave us the promise of a rly rly bright & wonderful future for those who love Him & are called according to His purpose... AMEN. it's so wonderful to know tt everyone who places their trust in Him would serve God in a capacity tt would astound them... and the impact they have on this world as a result of it would be so marvellous! WOOOOO!

life is exciting when God's in charge of it!! :D

funny how my most consistent blogging would be nearing the A's.

4 MORE DAYS!

hahahaha. i still cant believe. the two years have just gone by in a snap.

i'm doing geog now- i'll miss geog alot. and econs. and lit. i think i'll miss studying during the hols. ugh. why must the grass always look greener on the other side!

yay i can't wait to get this OVER AND DONE WITH!

shucks.. i havent prepared anything for GP. and i think i'm gna fail my econs.... lol.

in quietness and trust

i'm worried about not being stressed :(

lol. these few weeks have been the best weeks of the year, believe it or not. i have learnt so many things that have made me more aware, more cautious, ...
ahhh the joy of being in a valley-where you grow the most. revelations, convictions, miracles.. the deepening of that wonder and awe.. the passages that you bring me to.. the random picking up of books that spoke.. i want to give, give, keep giving, keep falling into your light. be cradled in your arms forever, where i can hear your heartbeat so close. where comfort carasses my cheeks.. whispering softly that you will always be there.

that total dependence does not display weakness. it displays what you have, your beautiful amazing nature, that craves to be shown to the rest of the world through us.

every part of you, you divided into each one of us. a special function, a special jigsaw that fits superbly into your masterplan..

how can we say that we have nth to offer, when you gave us all that you could offer?

stewards of the gifts that we have, we must be. our innate persona holding it tightly, never losing sight of it.. cos we're made like that.. unique.

oh the wonders of creation! why isn't the world rejoicing?
why are many leaning towards their own abilities, when all that we want searches for our hearts? solid foundations are built when our treasures are placed in heaven, so why do we live as if we only care about the earth?

any troubles? any worries?
be still. listen to that still, small, voice. that, and only that,will bring you through.

countdown to...

i've been knocking into pple whom where once in my distant past... and seeing them makes me miss them once more!! shaike, barry, edward.. the good ol' days.

the 7 months of holidays would be used to build stagnant friendships.

i miss JY and Nam and yvonee and tessa and charmant and jeanette alot toooo ARGHHH come quick hols.. come quick..

btw, the A's is in two weeks time.

i need all the prayer i can get.

the best is yet to be

these are 1/1837493 of the photos we took. i'll miss AC so much!

i have so much to say about that memorable friday, i don't know where to start!

so.. i'll just keep it in my heart and shant try to start on it. hahha

i need fuel

wheeze pant wheeze pant

(running the race of time)

with joy

with gladness

with assurance

:)

A Song For You

feat. Christina & Herbie Hancook



awesome piano!

all that razzjazz and a cuppa of-ah chino

today: macha kissed me -it tasted like green tea and red bean.

today: i studied nicole. she looked like the granny police. yeah the whole cohort of 'em.

today: was a fishy day. i ate it on a steamboat below the dark murky skies of the night.

today: i blogged a stupid post.

awakened blogger.

-i'm back,

with a question mark as to why i deleted a thousand years of posts at that spilt moment i decided blogging isnt for me, and i've been wasting my time on it. all my hours of posting.. a delete.. and poof.

thinking about it makes me waste a sigh -a deeep inhale, and a quick exhale- if you didnt know what it means.

these two weeks of not blogging made my mind boggle instead. the act of not penning (or typing, for that matter) your overflow of thoughts may lead to an eventual brain blast. -for those of you concerned, it didnt occur to me so heave a sigh. (a deep inhale, and a quick exhale, if you dont know how)

brain blast. hmmm. might make a drink out of that to compete with 7-11's slurpee -brain freeze-. who's in?

ok back to the updating of un-nonsense.

i saw an irish (i think) downstairs my block three mins ago. -a rare sight indeed- she was a beauty! (can't girls admire God's creation too?) anw it's not the 'model-ish' beauty, it's more like the sweet looking & pure dance-on-the-fields-with-a-long-skirt type of beauty. where did i get the idea from? -she was wearing a long skirt. anw she had teal gray sparkly eyes and light blonde braided hair, with a very fair complexion. the sparkly eyes made me make that conclusion. (plus a lil of the braids which added in to the feminine look)

an over concious divinia comments again: i'm totally straight for the record. it's called admiration.

i've been excercising almost everyday -what, divinia excercising?- yes i do, and like it in fact! hahaha. your eyes must be wide w/ amazement now eh, cos i dont think i look like the excercising type. owell. running and talking to God is ze best- along with looking at kids at the park which make me can't help but smile broadly.
_________________________________________________________________

on to another note,

i'm really thankful to God for His presence- His sweet spirit

carassing my cheek every moment- the wind
raising the sun up every morning - to point me to a hope that renews itself everyday
planting nature - to remind me that i'm His wonderful creation
giving that characteristic peace - unescapable, delightful, calming
the sound of the stillness of His voice - like music to my heart

heace the crave for more.

i've been thinking lately.

Chrsitian life is never to be ruled by rules alone.i never want my life to be a 'testimony' of how i do everything morally right, and sensibly (IF i could be like that in the first place). but i want my life to be led by conviction. the 'right' things i do wouldnt be out of just what the Scripture says, but it would boil out from my wanting to please God instead. many a times,i've heard of how pple do stuff just because it is right to do this if you're a Christian. not that i've not been guilty of that- i have. yes the Scripture is right; always right, and it's of importance; always of importance. but basing your choice just on rules alone..- the foundation might cripple if you depart from that 'feeling' of wanting to follow a rule. the solid basis of that criticial choice- my relationship with Him- would be more functional, the rules would be made more flexible, the reason for applying it more justifiable....

God, my basis for living would always be in accordance with You, and Your word.